#don’t understand how you can be so inconsiderate of other people.

[onedirecton]

last night was the first night in about week where I had absolutely peace so I hope it continues 💗🫶

[teaboot]

Forgive me if you’ve already answered something similar but how do you deal with crushing guilt when you did fuck up but there’s not really anything you can do to like make amends or you’ve already done anything you could and still feel guilty?

Like I know the guilt isn’t productive at all, if anything it’s just paralyzing me, and mentally beating myself up over it isn’t actually helping anyone. But I don’t know where to go from there. Idk how to actually forgive myself, or at least be able to move on

CW FOR SELF HARM

Okay, so this is something I've had to work through for a very long time myself, and there's a few different strategies that I've used to cope and process with varying levels of success.

What I used to do was handle the "I've ruined everything and hurt people and am never going to be forgiven" feeling by hurting myself in a number of creative and stupid ways, from physical hurt (Everything you'd expect) to mental hurt (wallowing, speaking badly of myself, going over the bad thing over and over again in my head) to passive hurt (neglecting my health, not eating properly, failing to pursue good living conditions, letting others hurt me, deliberately wandering into risky situations) and despite any short-term relief or peace I got, none of it ultimately fixed anything.

At the end of the day, making myself suffer as retribution or apology didn't fix the thing I'd done and didn't make the guilt go away, and all it gave me was an additional sense of shame and isolation because now not only was I a garbage person, I was a garbage person with something to hide from my loved ones. Zero out of ten, do not recommend.

The stuff that DID help was harder and is going to sound stupid because *I thought it was stupid* until it worked for me.

First: Learn the difference between GUILT and SHAME.

GUILT is how you feel about your choices.

SHAME is how you feel about yourself.

"I was late to a date again, that was inconsiderate": GUILT. The issue can be resolved by analyzing the reason behind the action and planning steps to avoid repeating it in the future. Guilt is productive because it motivates us to improve our choices. Once you've corrected the behaviour, it's over.

A"I was late to a date again, I'm inconsiderate": SHAME. The issue can be resolved by asking ourselves:

What negative thing to I believe about myself?

What other experiences support this belief? What evidence do I have that the bad thing is true?

Do those previous experiences have anything in common? Where they actually proof of a personal lack, or did someone just tell me they were? Were my choices and actions understandable? Did I have a reason? Was I trying to hurt others, or was it a mistake, accident, or learning experience? Have I grown from that experience?

Can I forgive myself for the past? What do I need to do to forgive myself for those past events? Was I really at fault at all, or was it out of my control?

Accept that.

Your present traumas and shames often have roots in beliefs you had about yourself before the new shameful thing occurred. When you dig into resolving the issues that led to today, you can use those conclusions to work through tomorrow. This is something I learned in cognitive behavioral therapy.

There are a number of ways of unpacking these questions, but as I felt I was deliberately avoiding my thoughts and feelings, I chose to jump into them directly, and found it to be effective.

You can write things down, talk to someone, paint something, draw something, whatever. Whatever at all works for you.

My solutions was to find a comfortable place on the floor, sit down, close my eyes, and do box-breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) while deliberately thinking about every upsetting memory attached to a specific bad belief that I could recall until I had nothing left to go over.

Judge and jury. Was I a bad person, or did I make a mistake? Did I have malicious intentions, or did someone accuse me of malicious intentions? Am I bad, or have I been conditioned to believe I'm bad? And at the end of it all, am I capable of better? Do I want to be better? And would a truly bad person care?

It was more emotional than I expected the first few times. Cried a lot, actually. But if I can liken it to a common feeling, it was like getting out of a very thorough shower and realizing you didn't know how dirty you were before.

The process sucks ass, no lie, but it's worth it. Like draining pus from a gnarly wound to get it healed up properly.

I'm not an expert, of course, but life has gotten better since I started. I'm better at forgiving myself, at least.

Also: Some people will never forgive others even for tiny things. Sometimes once you've done your best, you've just gotta say "fuck 'em". C'est la vie, mon amie.

Good luck, yeah?

♡

[seresinhangmanjake]

The One I Want: Part 13

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader

Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.

Notes/Warnings: smut 18+ (but like, not a lot. I settled somewhere in the middle), cursing, emotional stuff and vulnerability, fluff, angst, typos

Words: 3298

The One I Want Masterlist

“I’m thinking cake,” Jake suddenly says as he halts in place. His hand in yours stops you from continuing further into the pastry section of the grocery store. 

You fall in line beside him and scan over the individually packaged slices of vanilla and chocolate and red velvet. 

“Cake?” you ask, running your eyes from his head to his toes and back. “I have to be honest, Jake, you look like you haven’t had a piece of cake in your life.”

He didn’t even have any on his birthday a couple weeks ago and, in your opinion, that says a lot. A birthday, and not one of his friends complained about the lack of dessert to celebrate. Even alone in your cheap as fuck apartment with no furniture and walls tinged yellow from previous tenants’ smoking addictions you had cake on your birthday. One cupcake, one candle, one wish that had an entire three hundred and sixty-five days to come true but never did. 

Actually, maybe the ‘no birthday cake’ thing is smart. Less chance for disappointment.

“I’ve had cake.” He playfully nudges his shoulder into yours. “Not in a while, granted, but it did happen,” he says. “Plus, out of everything here, this will be the least messy in bed.”

‘Just to sleep,’ he had quickly clarified earlier after suggesting you share the same bed. Your mouth was wide open, a forkful of spaghetti frozen in mid-air as he nervously smiled at you from across the restaurant’s table. “I just thought it might be nice, but if you hate the idea we don’t have to.”

You’d teased that if you were going to get in bed with a man you wanted dessert first, but Jake took it rather seriously. And after deciding the restaurant’s creme brulee or sorbet would not travel well, he said, “We’ll have to make a pit stop.”

“I’m good with cake,” you chuckle, picking up a slice. He does the same. 

“Want anything else?”

You snort. “Are you going for a dessert buffet in your bed?”

He smiles and shakes his head. He raises your hand and his lips brush over your knuckles. “I just want to make sure you’re happy.”

You stare at him long enough for his smile to fade and his brow to knit and his head to tilt in question, and it’s so annoyingly endearing you don’t understand how you woke every morning of your life without someone like Jake Seresin. Someone who crafts smiles only for you. Someone who pays attention to your expressions and moods and alters their own in response. Someone who makes your heart want to snap the prison that is your ribcage and break through the wall of your chest so it can go burrow into his. 

“I’m happy with you, Jake,” you say. “The cake is a bonus.”

His smile returns and your whole body swells with pride, because you did that. You salvaged the perfect curve of his lips that spread to reveal a row of perfect teeth. You brought back the delicate wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and the sparkle that glints in the green. 

Jake leans in and presses his lips to yours, gently so as to not embarrass you while the possibility of whispers and glares from fellow shoppers exists. But the kiss doesn’t match the rest of him. You can sense the tension in his body. 

The plastic container holding the cake makes a loud pop under the pressure of his fingers, and you know he’d drop it if he could; make a mess on the floor so that hand could be free to touch you however it wants. 

But Jake thinks about others, and it’s an ‘other’ that would have to clean up his moment of inconsiderate behavior, but thankfully, he is not that brand of asshole. You’ve been that ‘other’ in the past and you don’t care for a reminder of how rude people can be when they only care about themselves, especially not a reminder in the form of Jake. 

“Let’s go,” he whispers against your lips, “before you get me into trouble.”

—

“Well,” you begin as you swallow the last bite and lick the remainder of the frosting off the fork, “It definitely tastes better in bed.” 

Jake chuckles, accepting your empty container and fork so they can join his on his nightstand. “I’m glad there’s another reason for you to want to be in my bed.”

With an arch to your brow, you rest your head against his headboard. “Another reason?”

“Yes,” he says before he holds up three fingers. His left index finger taps his right. “Reason one: I’m pretty sure you like me, or, knowing you, you wouldn’t have agreed to the suggestion. That’s the best reason.” You grin and roll your eyes as he taps his middle finger. “Reason two: cake tastes better in my bed. My bed, not any other guy’s bed so don’t go trying that out.”

Jake’s face lights up with your laugh. “I won't,” you say. “Reason three?”

“Three is sleeping next to each other,” he replies, wiggling his ring finger. “I know we haven’t actually done that yet, but I promise I’ll be a damn good cuddler. You won’t ever want to leave.”

He didn’t have to say that for you to be well aware of it. Jake hasn’t even wrapped his arms around you yet and you’re already wishing to stave off morning so that once you're snuggled against the shape of his body you can stay there for as long as possible.

“Four?” you ask. 

Jake swallows, suddenly misplacing a bit of his confidence, and it doesn't take much for you to figure out why. Most additional, and frankly, obvious, reasons to want to be in his bed lie outside of tested territory. The next logical steps of your relationship have gone undiscussed. 

You know he’s waiting for you. Permitting his hands to touch more of your body recently is not enough for him to make his own moves. No matter how close his fingers come to the zippers of your clothes or your fingers get to the button of his jeans, it's not the flashing green light he needs to take things further. 

But you can’t blame him. His pause is your creation, and while he hasn’t pushed for more, you know he badly he wants it. You want it, too, despite how you’ve acted.

Before, you weren’t sure if being with Jake would take something away from you, some sense of self that you’ve just reclaimed after years of people stealing their portion of you. Because, unlikely as it may sound, nothing is impossible; you’ve been misled more than once, and you couldn’t shake the one-percent chance that Jake would steal his portion, too. 

But that was the invasion of your still damaged—but healing—mind. That was prior to him spilling his emotions so you could see for yourself how you make him feel. When you listen to your heart, the thought that Jake would leave you feeling hollow or lost or discarded after being with him becomes so unbelievable, so weightless and unformed, you couldn’t speak it aloud if you tried. In no life, world, universe, or alternate existence would Jake do that to you. Of that, you are positive.

“I’m still working on four,” he says. 

Reaching over, you uncurl his pinky so it’s extended alongside the other three. Your thumb rubs slowly up and down the inside of that finger. 

“Four is easy,” you tell him.

“Easy?” His eyes follow your body as you sit up and straddle him. 

Palms land on your thighs and slide up, over your cotton shorts and hips, and under your shirt. His thumbs stroke the soft flesh of your navel as you rest your hands on the curves where his neck meets his shoulders. Your lips seal to his, and you kiss each other like you always do. Like he’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted. Like you’re a drug he can't get enough of. 

You start to shift your hips, grinding downward, and though you get the pleasure of hearing his grunt, you know it’s not enough for him to understand that you want more, so you do it again. And again. And again, until his fingers are digging into your skin and he’s pulling you down harder against him with each of your motions. 

But then, as if dunked in a bucket of ice water, he freezes. His lips are gone and he’s gripping you tight enough to stop you.

“Where are you going with this, beautiful?” he asks through heavy breaths, and you smile at how willing he is to sacrifice so much oxygen just to kiss you. 

Leaning back, you slip your hand through the space between your bodies. Your fingers lightly trace along the band of his sweatpants before dipping behind the soft material and wrapping around him. His whole body jerks. Any words he might have said next lose to the gasp that leaves his mouth. 

“Reason four,” you whisper, pulling him free. 

“Fuck,” he hisses, falling back and letting the headboard support his weight.

You pump your hand once, twice, then shimmy down the mattress until your breath is ghosting over the hardness in your hand. 

“H-Hey, whoa, wait, wait,” he rushes out, hand clasping your wrist. “Beautiful, this is not why I asked if you wanted to sleep in my bed. I don’t need anything like this to make being with you worth it for me, you know that, right?” 

“Do you want me to stop?”

Your thumb runs over his tip and his eyes screw shut. “Just tell me you know that.” When they open again, they’re full of desperation. “Please.”

“I know that,” you say with a nod and a reassuring smile. “But what if I want to do this? Even if I want it, do you want me to stop?”

“You can’t ask me that question when you’re looking at me like that.”

“Jake, do you want me to stop?” you ask once more, punctuating each word with a slight pause.

A bulge forms in his throat as he gulps. When he shakes his head, you close your mouth around him. 

The whimper you pull from him is immediately added to the list of things you love about Jake Seresin—a sound so unexpected that a rush of excitement shoots through you, straight to your core, and all you want is to hear it on repeat until it’s seared into your mind. You take him in deep, deeper with every bob of your head, and when he nudges the back of your throat, his thighs tense, his hand flies to the back of your head, and his hips involuntarily buck upwards. 

The resulting choking noise sobers him. 

“Oh my god,” he sputters, removing his hand as if burned. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—” He cuts himself off with a moan as you suck hard on his tip and flick your tongue along its underside before releasing him.

Guilt is splashed across his features when your eyes meet his, but it eases when you grin and grab his hand, pulling it to your face so he’s cupping your cheek. Leaning into his palm, Jake expels a held-in breath and his face softens at knowing he didn’t hurt you. His thumb slides over your cheekbone. He smiles.

“Can I be inside you?” he asks.

Jake’s touch doesn’t fall from your face as you crawl up his body. His stare doesn’t break. When you’re close, his fingers weave into your hair and he guides you into his kiss. 

“Is this a yes?” he whispers. 

You sit up in front of him, your knees on either side of his legs. 

“Yes” is a half-second off your tongue and Jake is tucking his thumbs into the waist of your sleep shorts, slowly pushing them over your ass and down your thighs. Those green eyes drink you in, and while your skin flushes under the intensity of his gaze, you feel him filling you with confidence. 

The fact that he bothers to look at you at all makes you want to give him everything. No other man took the time to really look at you—to appreciate you. It was whip-quick criticisms before dull, drunken, lazy, uninspired, over-before-it-even-started sex where they were closing their eyes from either an inability to keep them open or to imagine someone else in place of you. But Jake practically absorbs every inch of you that he can see.

Rough fingertips graze through your folds. His thumb rolls over the sensitive little bud and your body shudders, chasing after his hand even as he pulls it away to examine the slickness now coating his fingers. 

“Fuck,” is almost inaudible from his lips. “You’re gonna ruin me,” you think you hear him say, but it’s drowned out by the pounding pulse in your ears.

You don’t stop to dwell on what you think you might’ve heard and instead reach for the hem of your t-shirt to pull it over your head. Jake blinks, glances up at you, and then everything descends into a flurry of hurried movements as you discard your shorts and Jake yanks his shirt over his head, reaches into the bedside drawer for a condom, tears the packet open, and rolls it down his length. His sweatpants are pushed farther down his legs, then with his hands gripping your thighs just below your ass, he pulls you to him, spreads you open, and guides you down until you’re seated on top of him and his entire cock is fit snugly inside of you. 

The air is punched out of your lungs as your walls welcome and flutter around him. Your words are half-formed curses and mutterings of pleasure as Jake groans and wraps his arms around you, hugging you to his body. 

His forehead falls against your chest. “You have no idea…” he says through a weak breath, “no idea how much I've–”

“Yes, I do,” you whisper to him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “You're not the only one who has wanted this.”

Jake nods. He plants a gentle kiss on the smooth swell of each of your breasts. Then, at an agonizingly slow pace, you lift your hips and sink back down onto him. Supported by Jake’s strength, you lift and sink and lift and sink, feeling every ridge and every curve of every vein of his cock as he slides in and out of you. 

He’s so different and so good and you’re so satisfied to know that you were right. Jake Seresin will never leave you feeling lost. But he does allow you to lose yourself, to let go, to be free and safe in the company of his kisses and moans and touch. He allows you to be you—the you that is happy and cared for. The you that is loved.

—

It’s not often that you are a heavy sleeper, but Jake dragged you into a blissful peace so welcoming and comfortable that for the first night in a long time, you went undisturbed. That peace made it through the night, into the early hours of morning, and remained as sunlight trickled through the curtains to wake you.

Your eyelids flutter open and you glance to where Jake’s arm is draped over your waist. As you flip over, his brow pinches and that arm tucks you back into him so your chest is to his. You think he’s about to join you in waking, but when his unconscious is satisfied with the new positioning of your bodies, his barely-there snores resume. Chuckling, you press your lips to his in a quick kiss that smoothes the crease between his brows. 

He’s so beautiful like this. Mouth parted, hair touseled, muscles relaxed, with eyelashes resting on his cheeks. They’re much longer than you realized. The tips are blond and against his tanned skin, they’re almost luminescent. You want to run your finger over them, but that will force him awake, and he looks far from ready to rise for the day, so you don’t.

You consider getting out of bed; an idea quickly washed away when you weigh how cozy and warm Jake is compared to the rest of the room. Not to mention, you can’t say for sure exactly where your clothes are other than that they are definitely somewhere in Jake’s room. Those combined, you refuse to move, and not moving leads your eyes to close, which leads you back into that peaceful sleep. 

—

It’s hours later when you stir. You notice your clothes are folded by your feet and you look beside you to find Jake missing. But you hear his voice—his and another’s. 

Tossing the comforter off your legs, you dress and tiptoe your way to Jake’s door. The sliver of space between the door and its frame is not wide enough for you to see anything other than the framed pictures on the living room wall, but it doesn’t inhibit your ability to pick up the conversation you can tell is coming from the kitchen. 

“You haven’t told her?” you hear in Millie’s sweet, southern tone. “I can’t keep up with you two.”

“I was going to tell her at dinner,” Jake defends, “but things were good and she was happy. And I was going to try again once we got back here but I pictured the look on her face when she cries and it kills me, Millie.”

Your throat suddenly feels swollen and you struggle to swallow as you press yourself as close to the opening in the doorway as possible. 

“Honey, I know you don’t wanna hurt her, but there’s no way around this,” Millie says.

“I know.” He sighs heavily. “Can you do me a favor, though? Can you watch out for her?”

“Of course, but Jake, she can handle herself.”

“I know she can. She’s better at that than most people will ever be,” he tells her. “But you wouldn’t be doing this for her, you’d be doing it for me. I can’t stand the thought of her feeling alone,” he says. “I can’t take that with me.”

“She won’t be alone,” your friend says, but Jake doesn’t respond. “Jake, I promise.”

You can’t see what he does; if he nods, if he smiles, if he mouths a silent ‘thank you’. They’re both quiet, so you’re quieter. 

In their silence, you try to process the words you’ve heard, but Millie’s sweet voice interrupts your racing thoughts. 

“You boys need to be careful and bring each other home,” she tells Jake. “Your ladies are gonna be waitin’ on you.”

“Assuming mine won’t hate me for not telling her the minute I knew about it.”

“You only found out yesterday,” Millie says. “It’s not easy. Bradley hates tellin’ me, too…this time especially.”

You don’t if they say more because, once again, Jake has your pulse going so strong and fast that it’s pounding in your ears, but now for an entirely different reason than last night. Your heart plummets into your stomach and you inch away from the door until the back of your knees hit the mattress, forcing you to sit. As stiffness settles into your limbs, your spine goes limp as a noodle and you’re sure your posture shows it, but you don’t have it in you to stretch out your arms and legs or strengthen your back. You’re a dead weight on the bed. Dead and damp from the tear that leaked down your cheek onto your thigh. 

It’s the first tear of what you know will be many more to come. 

Because soon, Jake will be leaving.

---

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @crowsreadsarahjmaas @mamachasesmayhem @sky2nd @jessicab1991 @rosedurin @averyhotchner @horseshoegirl @roosteraloha @b-bradshaw @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @hookslove1592 @alwaysclassyeagle

[jungkookschin]

not so bossy

summary: An irksome feeling infests Jungkook's system when his girlfriend lets him know that she can't meet up after not seeing him for three weeks. pairing: d1 soccer player!jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff

author's note: idk anything about football/soccer and yes im american so i used the term soccer 🙄lolz, also i got some inspo hearing about these famous athletes and their gfs so i pulled this out of my ass. pls enjoy (or not)! ALSO IF U HAVE ANYTHING U WANT TO TELL ME AB ANY OF MY PICS PLS PUT IT IN THE ASKS (not replies) BC THIS IS A SECONDARY BLOG

“Just because I’m not some big shot D-1 athlete doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t matter,” you grimly convey, eyebrows furrowed in pure vexation whilst your pretty lips curl down in a frown.

Jungkook exhales slightly, his pointer finger and thumb coming up to massage his temples. “Y/N, that’s not what I meant and you know it-“

“Then what the fuck did you mean?” The rapidity by which you cut him off pierces his heart like an arrow, because he’s never witnessed you being so abrasive. It hurts him to know that he’s upset you- that his inconsideration induced such a crestfallen expression from his one and only girl.

“I just didn’t want you to meet up with that guy,” Jungkook quietly explicates, unable to adeptly convey what his true intentions were: that he just missed you and didn’t want you to hang out with some other guy, even if it was just to study.

A scoff escapes your mouth, your obsidian orbs glaring bullets into him. “Jungkook, we were studying. It was for school. You of all people should understand that,” you sneer, your harsh words making his heart drop, the unpleasant feeling of guilt infesting his system, because he knows you’re right. Knows he’s been a shitty fucking boyfriend. Knows that you’ve been nothing but understanding, that you've been his personal angel ushering heaven to him, a task you accomplished everyday of every second.

Jungkook’s reticent silence tells you everything you need to know. “Don’t talk to me for the rest of the day,” you murmur quietly, though loud enough to make the words thunder in his heart. You turn your heel to walk away from him, your arms securely hugging your textbook to your chest, as if you were subconsciously shielding yourself from him. He hates that so much.

Jungkook stands frozen, unable to chase after you like he wants to. His heart is screaming at his brain make his motor system send his body after you..Instead, your figure disappears into the crowd of students flooding the hallways and he’s left there with regret plaguing his system.

How did this even happen?

Jungkook vividly remembers that dreadful text message you sent whilst he was on the bus, heading back from fall training camp.

y/n ♡: hi baby, im so so sorry. i dont think i can make it to our date tonight. this senior in my class asked me if i wanted to join a study group with him and i want to go so i do good on my final :( sorry baby.

Jungkook's lips immediately curl down at the message. Despite quite literally sharing an apartment together, he hadn't physically seen you or touched you in three weeks. With travelling out of town for a tournament for a week, and his two week long training camp immediately proceeding the tourney, he hadn't gotten the chance to come home and see you. Your absence had a deep and profound effect- he had to drown himself with intense physical training to distract himself from the fact that you weren't around.

Jungkook is a D-1 soccer player- one of the best in the nation- predicted to be one of the top picks in the first round of the Major League Soccer super draft. He takes his craft very seriously, centers most of his attention on his body and mind to refine his physical ability and ultimately become one of the best soccer players in the world. Since high school he often opted for a nasty gym session over a party, admiring Messi and Ronaldo over pretty girls, and even went to his club soccer tournaments over attending prom.

That was- until he met you.

The university you and Jungkook attended was widely renown for its impeccable soccer program- and computer science program. By God's grace was he assigned to you for a group assignment freshman year. Your face was slightly flushed when you kindly uttered "Hey, I know you're a huge athlete or something, so I don't mind carrying the project if you have to focus on sports." In reality, your intentions were selfish, solely concerned about your own grades and how this group project may cause them to fall, but Jungkook still thought it was the cutest thing ever.

He appreciated the consideration, but gently let you know that he was certainly able bodied and willing to complete the assignment. Had you not been so pretty, if the way you pushed your glasses up your face not been so adorable, he would have gladly taken the offer, not being quite privvy to anything academic related.

But you were arguably the cutest girl he's ever seen, so he was willing and eager to put in the effort.

Feelings blossomed, cavernous eyes gazed into each other and Jungkok kissed you for the first time. Seeing that you enthusiastically reciprocrating his energy, Jungkook took it as a sign that he scored the girl of his dreams. Group projects lead to late night calls and incredibly vulnerable talks in his car, then arcade dates to salacious movie nights. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend with a bouquet of the most delicately beautiful roses you've ever seen.

Jungkook thanked God everyday for your naturally compassionate nature, and for when you assuaged all his dreadful anxieties about not be an adequate and involved boyfriend. You understood that the nature of your relationship with him would not always be the most attentive- that he had no choice but to sort of neglect you when he had to travel over state and country borders for the sake of his athletic career.

You understood it and you whole heartedly offered your bona fide support.

You appeared at his games with cute red bows binding the curls in your hair, his oversized red jersey thrown perfectly over your precious abdomen. His perfect cheerleader, his number one motivator- and his teammates certainly appreciated you because he performed better when you were in the stands oggling at him with your starry eyes. He had to play better when his girl was in the crowd.

When you weren't able to be physically present at his games, you sent him the most adorable selfies of you streaming the game on your TV, laptop, or phone, going the extra mile to snag a selfie whilst Jungkook was in the frame of your device.

It really is common knowledge that Jungkook adores his girlfriend. In fact, anybody can tell by looking at the measly three photos on his verified Instagram account (courtesy of the NCAA). There was one photo of Jungkook and his teammates from a few years ago, all men have their hands on their cut and bruise heavy knees. They've got gold medals around their necks, ginger smiles on their faces after winning some summer league tournament.

The second photo was from last year when the men's soccer team at your university won the NCAA Division 1 Men's Soccer tournament, and rather than a photo with his teammates, there is one of him and you. Jungkook who was drenched in sweat from an intense yet rewarding game has his hands wrapped around your waist in the photo, leaning down and pressing a kiss on your cheek whilst you smile gleefully. His gold medal is adorned around your neck, resting on your chest rather than his. The caption reads "scored the winning goal for my number one girl", and the comments are permeated with "awwws" and "how cute!" Of course, you are slightly suspicious of the genuiniety of those comments since most of them are from girls who have a crush on him. How do you know that? You just do, consider it girlfriend intuition.

The most recent photo is simply a gorgeous photo of you at dinner. It was from his point of view- his prettiest view when you were sitting across from him enjoying your steak in a strapless black mini dress. In the photo your french manicured fingers are gripping your wine glass, the stain of your lipstick visible at the edge of the cup. The expanse of your neck is visible, making your aura all the more alluring. Your hair is in a sleek bun with the exception of the face framing pieces that dangle on the sides of your face.

You remember that day, Jungkook looked so dashing in his black button up and slacks, and when he presented you with another bouquet of red roses you melted since they were the same flowers he asked you to be his girlfriend with.

The caption is simply a black heart.

Jungkook shuts his phone off and throws it on his bed, hands rubbing his face as he groans into his palms. After you told him not to speak to you for the rest of the day, he meandered back to your shared apartment, earnestly anticipating your return home. The intoxicating scent of your vanilla body spray fills the room, making him all the more miserable.

He knows that he wasn't giving you the attention necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship, that he wasn't amply putting his share into it, but his mind was so trained on soccer that it hadn't occurred to him to check on up on you. He winces at a certain memory where he was so entranced in practicing penalty kicks that he completely forgot about your date at the pumpkin patch. He went home wondering where you were, and his heart dropped when you marched into the home, slamming the door and refusing to speak to him. After profusely apologizing and making it up to you, you later forgave him and everything returned to its usual nature.

But this time was different, because it is 2AM, and you're still not home, causing Jungkook to fall deeper into his despondency.

He spammed you with so many pleading text messages, his eyes scanning over each and everyone as his thumb scrolls further and further to the history of your shared messages.

[2:52 AM] jungkook: y/n baby im so anxious right now. please let me know where you are. i wont go to bed unless i know that you're safe. you don't need to come home or talk to me, just send me your location so that i know you're okay. im so sorry and i love you so much.

As his thumb scrolls up, his texts from earlier in the night appear.

[11:38 PM] jungkook: baby where are you? im starting to get worried about you. please come home.

[9:12 PM] jungkook: my love, the food is getting cold. if you come home we can still enjoy a meal together.

[8:24 PM] jungkook: baby, i know you're upset at me. please let me make it up to you. i cooked your favorite meal, and we can eat together once you get home. i'm here waiting for you.

A soft exhale leaves his lips, his thumb scrolling all the way back to the same stupid argument that triggered all of this.

y/n ♡: hi baby, im so so sorry. i dont think i can make it to our date tonight. this senior in my class asked me if i wanted to join a study group with him and i want to go so i do good on my final :( sorry baby.

When Jungkook first received the first message, it inevitably upset him. A grimace on his face and the furrow on his eyebrows indicated as much. He missed you so much and was looking forward to seeing you so fucking badly. He longed to feel your body against his, the thought of you keeping him up all of last night. He missed your pretty face, the vanilla scent of your soft hair, and the way you made him feel so complete. So, of course he's upset. The first thing that caught him off guard was that you were cancelling on him after three weeks apart. The second thing that caused a deeper furrow in his brows was irksome personal pronoun: him.

Were you really going to ditch him to hang out with some guy? He was trying to be understanding considering the rigor of the university's computer science program- and wanted you to do everything you could to maintain your perfect grade point average. Nonetheless, he was already pouting at the announcement of your absence.

jungkook: him?? who's this senior?? and are u sure u guys cant reschedule?? miss my girl too much

y/n♡: i miss u too, im so sorry,, it's just that this code is really fucking hard and jaebum offered to help so obvi i accepted lol

Jungkook's concern morphs into unamusement, because he is very familiar with this motherfucker. He sighs deeply, reminiscing when his teammate Hoseok approached him and informed him about a certain Jaebum making inappropriate comments about his girlfriend. Not inappropriate as in sexual, grotesque, or expletive. Had that been the case Jungkook would have beaten the shit out of the guy and risked playing the next season. The type of inappropriate Hoseok intended to express was that Jaebum was going around calling you cute- you, a girl who clearly was not single. Jungkook never explicitly told you about this, not really concerned that it would have a significant impact on your very healthy relationship, but it still displeased him.

He wasn't able to constrain his words, mentioning something when he witnessed Jaebum clearly flirting with you when he picked you up from class.

"Jungkook don't worry," you giggled. "He's just a senior in my class- he's really smart so he was giving me some homework advice."

Jungkook tensed at that. "Alright babe, just be careful."

After that, Jaebum really wasn't ever mentioned or considered. He fully trusted you so Jungkook wasn't worried, until at that very moment.

jungkook: babe

jungkook: i thought we already talked about this

jungkook: that guy literally likes you

y/n♡: ewwww lol dont put that idea in my head😭 gross

jungkook: y/n, im serious

jungkook: he really does, i can tell when someone wants u its my boyfriend intuition

y/n♡: okay baby, and if he does??? u dont trust me??

jungkook: ofc i do, but it makes me uncomfortable to know that he invited you to a “study group” , who knows what he’s planning???

jungkook: who else is gonna be there??

y/n♡: it’s just gonna be us, but i promise u u dont have anything to worry about. uk how this class has been kicking my ass.. and jaebum is the only one with an a

Jungkook uses his pointer finger and thumb to massage his temples. The thought of you and this guy studying together enkindles something vile in his system, but nonetheless he chooses to trust you since he knows how important school is to you. However this irksome feeling bubbles in his chest, and he feels like has just has to do something about it.

The next message he sends is his last attempt to assuage the undeniable burning in his chest.

jungkook: i know, can i at least come with? to make sure he doesnt do anything weird?

y/n♡: i don't think it's a good idea. i dont want things to be uncomfortable

Jungkook scowls at that. Weird? Why would him tagging along be anything of the sort? More importantly, why were you choosing to protect Jaebum’s feelings over his?

jungkook: lmao uncomfortable? are u two planning to fuck on the table or something , why would my presence make things “uncomfortable”?

Jungkook winces when his eyes train on that very ill intended text message. He knows damn well he crossed the line with that one, but your response didn’t indicate that you were upset, probably dismissing it as one of his stupid jokes.

y/n♡: jeon jungkook🙄🙄

y/n♡: i’ll see u tonight at home baby💗💗

Jungkook knows he should have left it at that, but three weeks without having you with him were so excruciating, and he longed for you so so much. He loves being an athlete; he loves playing soccer, but the intense drills and back to back games have been agonizingly tough on his body that all he wanted was to cuddle up against you in your cozy and comfy bed. Maybe have a little movie night and give you a little massage though it was his muscles that were sore and tense. But no, you had to study with some slimy guy. Consider him salty.

When the bus dropped the men’s soccer team off on campus, he bid his farewells to his teammates, and for some strange reason his legs just start walking to the library. Huh, how strange. What an anomaly it was for his feet to randomly move by themselves!

He acts very nonchalant, hands shoved into his sweats whilst he wanders between the dozens of book shelves arrayed in the campus library. Nonetheless, his eyes are rapidly shifting toward every corner in the library, in hopes that he “accidentally” runs into you.

Jackpot.

You and Jaebum are sitting adjacent to each other at an occupied table, both of your eyes trained on your Macbook screen. Jungkook puts a hand on his chin, acutely scrutinizing the situation at hand. The distance of your chairs is quite satisfactory to Jungkook- not too close, but he would appreciate it if you were further away. Jaebum is very clearly giving you a lovestruck gaze, and when he scoots his chair closer to yours Jungkook narrows his eyes.

Jaebum is such a fucking weirdo, his hand creepily advancing towards yours that is resting by the keyboard, and you are so exceedingly focused on your screen that you fail to notice. You randomly remove your hand away from where it rests on the table, and scratch your head with it. Once you turn towards him, his close proximity startles you, and you jerk your chair back in the opposite reaction, the most mortified look on your face.

Jungkook isn’t the best at reading lips, but Jaebum is currently expressing something to you, the most awestruck look on his face and Jungkook scoffs at that, clearly understanding the situation. Without thinking he advances towards you, pulling your chair back with a tight grip whilst he looks daggers into the man. “Can you please stop hitting on my girlfriend?”

Your head whips around at the voice of your boyfriend, but it goes unnoticed by Jungkook whose attention is soley on the man.

Jaebum scoots his chair back a little bit, scratching his head. “Sorry man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend-“

And before Jungkook can interject you speak up. “I’ve told you many times that I have a boyfriend- and quite frankly I’m appalled that you’re trying to make a pass toward me when we agreed that we would be studying,” you say firmly which induces a goofily proud smile to appear on Jungkook’s face.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I-I just really like you and didn’t know how else to talk to you," Jaebum elaborates in attempts to elicit some sort of sympathy from you. His attempt is entirely futile, and you ask him to leave, already vexxed by his inappropriate shot at making a pass at you.

You begrudgingly saunter behind Jungkook, the two of you leaving the library. Jungkook, who is acting under the assumption that you are annoyed by Jaebum, reaches out for your hand, falling into confusion when you rip your hand away from his.

"Babe?-" his eyes round, uneasy at your dissonance.

You exhale deeply, eyes apprehensively glancing around at anybody who may be eavesdropping. "Why the fuck did you follow me?" you whisper shout at him, hands thrown down petulantly.

"I was worried about you," he clarifies, not even bothering to claim that it was a mere coincidence. "And I missed you so much," his tone glosses over softly. He steps forward to embrace you, and the air shifts once you put your hands on his chest and push him away from you.

"Jeon Jungkook, I clearly told you that I would see you at home," you stonely enunciate.

Irritability spreading throughout his system, he scowls. "It was killing me to think about you being alone with this guy when I was missing you so much, and I told you that he liked you but you didn't listen-"

"I admit I was wrong about that, but I am also perfectly capable of handling myself." You hesitate momentarily, gathering the words before spitting them out hastily. "I think you've made it pretty clear that you don't trust me- which is seriously fucked up."

"What's fucked up is that you were hanging out alone with a guy who clearly likes you! You haven't seen your boyfriend in three weeks and chose to spend your time with some guy rather than with me!" Jungkook fires back, attracting some concerned glances from bystanders.

His postulation enrages you. "Need I remind you why I haven't seen you in three weeks?" you sarcastically inquire, eyebrows creasing in awe at the audacity of this man.

"Babe, I have to leave for soccer, you know that, so don't weaponize it against me," he coldly says, and really, all his words do is spread the indignation through your veins like a wildfire.

"I have never weaponized soccer against you, so don't you dare put fucking words in my mouth," you hiss, giving him the dirtiest look he's ever seen from you.

"I have been nothing but supportive of you. Never said shit when you're out there with a bunch of cheerleaders who like you, and with your teammates that fucking cheat on their girlfriends with those cheerleaders! Yet the moment that I prioritize my academic career over you, you pull some weird shit as if you can't trust me!" you finish, your ice colds words leaving Jungkook frozen as a sculpture, as if nitrogen replaced his blood because he realizes you're right. If he ever spend a moment in your shoes, he would lose his goddamn fucking mind because of his naturally possessive and overprotective nature.

"I'm sorry, that's not what I was trying to say," Jungkook clumsily tries to salvage himself. "I appreciate you so much for always being there for me and when I go pro I'll make it up to you. You'll be my soccer wife, and we'll have a mansion with our kids- I'll buy you whatever you want," he conveys, his feeble attempt of sewing together the cuts of the situation.

Instead of a commiserating look, you give him a look that tells him you're even more irritated.

"That's not the point! You don't get that I don't want my identity to be just Jeon Jungkook's soccer wife. I want to be my own person, have my own successful career," you frustratedly communicate. "Why do you think I'm trying so hard in this stupid fucking coding class? Because I didn't want to see you? I always want to see you, but I have to make sacrifices too. The class average is 56 and Jaebum is the only one with an A, but my life isn't as important as yours so you don't want to be sympathetic of my feelings." You finish, cooling off once you've exploded at him.

Jungkook rips away eye contact with you, looking towards another direction, feeling slightly chagrined at your legitimate display of vexation. "I guess your studying didn't seem as important to me at the time," he abashedly murmurs.

“Just because I’m not some big shot D-1 athlete doesn’t mean that my life doesn’t matter," is how you retort, leaving the situation full circle.

Now, it's 3 AM, and you're still not home. Jungkook feels himself falling into a pit of dilapidation and guilt, feeling so remorseful of how shitty he's been. You truly are his super woman, because he's positively sure that he wouldn't be able to handle it if you did what he had to do on a regular basis. He couldn't even handle it when you were studying with another man, let alone travelling and leaving him at home by himself.

The apartment simply feels so empty, and it makes him feel all the more lonely. When he walks into your shared bathroom, his eyes glossing over your cosmetics and skin care products, he becomes absolutely miserable. Debilitatingly picking up your moisturerizer, he squeezes the bottle, product falling falling into his hand. He looks into the mirror and rubs the ointment into his skin, sighing exasperatingly because he wishes you were standing by his side.

The sound of the door suddenly creaks open, and Jungkook rushes into the living room thinking that you may have returned home. His face immediately falls when Jimin marches into his apartment.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jungkook deadpans.

Removing his shoes at the front of the house, Jimin scoffs. "Why'd you leave your door unlocked at 3 AM?"

Jimin plops down at the dining table, picking at the food Jungkook meticulously prepared for you. "This shit is cold as hell," he mumbles before grabbing the plate and shoving it into the microwave. Jungkook doesn't say anything, just grinds his teeth whilst he lays down on the couch.

"Y/N's not home?" Jimin questions with a mouth full of steak.

"No," Jungkook quietly mumbles, dejected and losing hope that you would return home that night.

"I ran into her a few hours ago," Jimin states casually, causing Jungkook to robotically spring up like a zombie and join Jimin at the dining table. "Where?" Jungkook asks like a crazy man, eyes wide, his veins protruding through the whites in his eyes. Jimin gives his friend a distasteful look before protectively covering the food Jungkook made. Jimin analyzes the situation carefully before it dawns on him that you aren't around.

"She's still not home yet?" Jimin asks, concern spreading throughout his face.

"No," Jungkook squeaks out, discouraged by everything before he bangs his head on the dining room table.

"I ran into her at the mall," Jimin says, attempting to provide some comfort to his younger friend. "We looked around a little bit, but I had to go pick my brother up and then I dropped her off at the gym."

Jungkook pauses, owlishly blanking into space whilst he takes a few moments to fully comprehend what just zoomed past his ears. The sleep deprivation and exhaustion is seriously hindering his cognitive function, but he just can't sleep until he knows that you're safe. "Huh?"

Jimin sighs, rolling his eyes before repeating what he just said. He raises his palm to smack the back of Jungkook's neck, which elicits a gruesome glare from the younger one.

"I ran into your girlfriend at the mall. We looked at the dinosaur exhibit. I dropped her off at the gym," Jimin firmly enunciates.

Apparently this computes more briskly than the first time. "The gym?" Jungkook asks, an amusing look of confusion hazed on his face.

"Yes," Jimin replies, frowning at Jungkook's sluggish responses.

"She went by herself?"

"I don't know," Jimin responds, a hinge of more empathy in his voice. "She said something about a personal trainer but I have no clue what she was doing."

An exasperating sigh leaves Jungkook's lips, too much information for his fatigued brain to compute. He didn't even know you had damn personal trainer- you don't even need a fucking personal trainer when your boyfriend is one of quite literally a D-1 athlete. It's not something he wants to even think about, the prospect of him being a shitty boyfriend plaguing his mind even more.

Jimin's eyebrows furrow in concern for his younger friend, and his hand gingerly pats his friend's rock hard back. "Do you want me to stay the night? Or stay at least until she gets back?" he suggests whilst the younger one buries his handsome face into his large palms.

"Please," Jungkook mutters.

Your unexpected entrance proves that Jimin's request was unecessary, because you casually waltz back into the apartment, making Jungkook practically whip his head towards the sound of the opening door.

"Jimin?" you jabber, a little startled at his unanticipated presence.

"Oh hey Y/N!" Jimin greets you more awkwardly than he ever has before, as if he interrupted something though he was there first. "How was the gym?" he releases a sheepish chuckle, and you internally cringe at his overt display of politeness.

"Oh, um. It was good. Are you planning on spending the night?" you ask, slipping your shoes off as you join the two at the dining table.

"Pshhh, no. Absolutely not! I gotta head home.." his eyes erroneously shift all over the room, poorly concealing how clearly he wants to leave. "Right about.." his head whips down at the non existent watch on his wrist. "Now!" He scoots the chair out and -for some reason- he tiptoes out of the house, bidding you and your boyfriend a farewell as he gently closes the comically creaking door.

You look towards your beloved, Jungkook looking dejectedly at his twiddling hands, avoiding eye contact with you. A soft exhale leaves your lips and you plant your palms on the table, getting up before you approach him. Even when he's sitting down at your wooden dining room chairs, he's only a little bit smaller than you- training and the gym have done him well. This profound emotion of tenderness rushes into your heart, and you bend down, placing a tentative and delicate kiss on his fragile cheeks.

"Wanna come with me to the bedroom?" you ask, gentleness lacing your voice at to hopefully assuage the vulnerability of the situation. It is undeniably true that you were upset- even livid at him, but after mulling it over you realized that he is your one and only. If anybody was deserving of your empathy, it was him.

You stride to the bedroom, settling down on the side of your bed with your big hunk of a boyfriend mimicing your actions like a little puppy.

"I made us bracelets," you blurt out hands digging into your pockets, before you pull out two identical bracelets dangling from your fingertips. The bracelets were childlike at best; you used black plastic beads and yarn, the same type of shit toddlers use in pre school when they learn how to do basic things like cut in zig zag lines. The bracelets are mostly made up of black beads, with a pink heart bead in the center of them.

Your fingers wrap around your boyfriend's larger hands, and you gingerly slide his bracelet on his dainty wrists. You suppose you overestimated the circumference of his wrist, because it hangs off his wrist like a necklace.

Jungkook still hasn't said anything, but finally looks up, and your eyes meet his glossy ones.

When you realize that he's crying, you hand cups his cheek, and you use your thumb to wipe the tears that cascade down his handsome face. "No no no," You're panicked at his sullen state. "Don't cry," you express desperately. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry."

Jungkook gazes at you so intimately and intensely, and he feels as if all his resolve breaks now that you are finally in front of him.

"I-I just didn't want to lose you," Anguish laces his voice, and he sounds so desperate that it makes it feel like your heart is being ripped into pieces. "Thought I was gonna lose you," he whispers, and you're compelled to just hug him- so you turn to him and wrap your arms around his neck, and his automatically snake around your waist, so naturally- like this action was done so out of muscle memory.

He holds you tightly, like he never wants to let go of you, of this. He holds you like he's found his sweet solace in your embrace. His neck finds comfort in the crook of your neck whilst he pours his emotions out into your honeydew skin.

"I can't believe you still love me."

"I can't believe you made me a fucking bracelet even after everything. You're so sweet, so perfect."

"I don't deserve you- you mean everything to me. I swear I'll make everything up to you, just give me one more chance."

You pull back at his words, a concerned haze painted on your face. You settle on your knees to meet him at equal eye contact. "Did you think I was gonna dump you?"

Jungkook tears away his eyes from yours. "I don't know. I thought you were getting sick of me- I guess," and the

You sigh, shifting your weight backwards so that your ass rests on your heels. You gnaw on your bottom lip, finding the right words to say. "Jungkook," you begin, conjuring the courage to verbalize everything you've been itching to say. "I... I have never loved anybody as much as I love you." You inhale, nostrils flaring slightly before you continue your somewhat clumsy attempt to bandage everything.

You speak very steadily so that he can fully digest what you are about to say. "And I don't love you because you're a soccer player, or because you're verified on Instagram, or because you're ESPN thinks you're going to be super successful. I love you because you're you."

Jungkook's undeniable heartbeat is pounding, so loud that he can hear it in his ears. Love. Your love is interpermeating his being, seizing control of him completely and fully. There are no words that can properly encapsulate how he feels. Just Love. Love times a million. "Y/N-"

"Just shut up and let me talk," you cut him off, preparing once again to regurgitate your feelings.

"I just love you so much, and because I love you, I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. You just have to trust me, even if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm an adult- I know what I'm doing."

Jungkook purses his lips perceptively, nodding ever so carefully at your simple yet overflowing explanation.

"It just hurts me that you felt like you couldn't trust me enough to be alone with him. I know I was wrong for not trusting you when you said he liked me, but even if he were to make a move on me, I would never reciprocate or encourage that behavior. I put so much trust in you, and I really want you to work towards putting that same trust in me. And.. I'm sorry for throwing a temper tantrum, I was just embarrassed I guess. "

Jungkook grabs your hand as if the moment is fleeting, his already soft expression softening impossibly more at the sincerity of your words. He holds your hand to his chest, and you can hear the rapid beating of his heart.

"I understand," he automatically expresses, which concerns you because his answer was almost too immediate. You're not sure if he's properly digesting what you are trying to communicate.

"I was just super frustrated- I missed you so much and thinking of you and that guy was killing me. I trust you, but what if he did something to you?" The disclosure of his authentic feelings relieves any doubts you had about the immediacy of his answer.

"Babe, I'm not an idiot," you reply. "I have a taser and it's not like we were in the woods in the middle of the night," you point out which elicits a soft chuckle from Jungkook.

"You're right baby, my girl's a genius," he leans in and presses a familiar and delicate kiss to your bottom lip, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. When he pulls away you're left with a lingering feeling of longing, and he beams at you.

"You just gotta be patient with me, but I swear I'll try to be less," Jungkook takes a moment to find the right word. "Overbearing."

You give Jungkook a pursed smile and nod your head. Before you can respond he presses another delicate kiss to your lips. Though the kiss is fleeting, it's as if your lips mold together perfectly because he knows you and your lips the best. "Thank you for being you," he presses his forehead against your, mumbling against your lips, the utmost sincerity in his voice. "I love you, so so much," he says, hot breath palpable against your lips. "Thank you so much for everything you do. Thank you for understanding, for loving me. You're just- just perfect, perfect for me. Made for me, and I love you so much." His emotions overwhelm him, and his eyes become glossy. "My love for you scares me. The thought of you leaving terrifies me so much, and if you did, I don’t think I would ever recover,” his words are delicate, fragile like he’s a butterfly that could fly away at any moment. It was up to you to keel him grounded.

You close your eyes, savoring the moment of him being so close. " 'm not going anywhere," you hum into his lips, and he sighs blissfully, snuggling more into your protective embrace.

That night, you fall asleep on his chest, his arms instinctively wrapped around you for the entirety of the night.

[muniimyg]

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ bbydaddy!jk (16) ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ debrief ! + kimi's note

hi !

i've gotten a few asks in my inbox regarding part 16 that (i feel) lean towards negativity @ babydaddy!oc.

as much as i appreciate interactions,, it surprised me with how it (my work) was received. i understand that everyone has their own opinions, but some of the asks come off more as a vent/hateful pov,,

and listen,,, i get that this is a fanfic LOL

but the reason i'm making this a post is that, truthfully, i don't want to (individually) answer these asks. i've spent the past few days reflecting on the feedback i was given and the chapter itself... i've concluded that i’m all abt conversation (!!!) but don’t think these asks lead the ones i want to have on my blog. i also don't want to share them because i feel that these opinions undermine the experience of other readers who enjoyed and resonate with the chapter.

at the same time, i also don’t want them to go unaddressed because these are real ppl who spent time and sent thoughts in. one way or another, i believe my work resonated with u and the most i could ever really ask for as a writer is to write something that makes people feel.

so to those anons that sent in these asks, i want u to know i that i’ve let your thoughts sit with me and i think you made good points. in that same sense, i want to defend my work and explain a few things..

context:

full bbydaddy timeline (as of 16)

bbydaddy was originally meant to be a one time scenario

upon request, i extended the series multiple times

since the series extended,, in terms of plot,, i took as an opportunity to dig deeper into their dynamic (as a family, as lovers, and as individuals)

one: bbydaddy!jk and bbydaddy!oc's lore

first and foremost,,, there are no sides.

there are layers to their relationship. both characters go through and process differently. oc's experiences should not be invalidated just because her emotions are voiced 'wrong.' the career and the depth of it can and should be looked from different point of views. though i didn't write it in, i personally pictured oc to be the eldest daughter in her household. the constant need to be the best is a natural feeling for her and isn't necessarily seen as a flaw through jk's eyes. if anything, she believes in him more than he believes in himself. in her pov,, that's how she loves him. she wants more for him because she believes he deserves more and that he's worth more. it wasn't meant to be a 'greedy' attribute but i understand where it initially comes off as that.

all in all, i think this is one of my very few fics where i picked her flaws on purpose and wrote some in by accident. as a writer, i thought this brought more authenticity in her character as well as sparked the ongoing questions of; what does it really mean to love someone and how much of yourself can you give until there's nothing left? and when there's nothing left; what then? do you pick the pieces together? do you learn and move forward or do you stay where you are and feel it. feel everything and drown in it so you don't miss a thing?

i think oc's character dives into those concepts really well. initially, as i read the asks and 'reviews' on oc,, i felt bad for her (LOL) because truly... she's so misunderstood.

as for jk... i think that man is delusional to the core. but !!! that's my error. i think in the beginning,, bbydaddy jk has this... douche-ness in him that really captures and captivates their dynamic. over time, as the story goes on, you see how fragile he actually is and how pathetic he can get. him proposing to oc was 1) bad timing 2) inconsiderate since he was definitely in his own headspace for thinking and putting his feelings first 3) jus for the drama. LOL !

all in all, i don't think jk did anything wrong (neither did oc) i jus think their relationship is the sole definition of timeless but untimely.

two: asks and anons

please don’t send in asks that bring negative vibes. if u don’t like a character (it’s ok to feel frustrated and all) u can jus move on. no need to send in 'fuck her' if its not in an ironic way 😭 be mindful and remember ur manners. jus cos u’re on anon doesn’t mean u’re held any less accountable !

if u have nothing nice to say,, don’t say it at all. i may not be ur fave writer and this may not be ur fave character or fic ….

and that’s ok.

u are probably not my fave reader anyway 😝

i am not the only smau writer on this app or fic writer at that. i'd encourage u to branch out and find new writers if my characters frusterate u so much (ToT)"

i love receiving silly asks and heartfelt ones even more so when they’re abt my plot and are positive notes regarding my writing! i look forward to those because they remind me of my growth and make me feel appreciated. these fics and smau i make take time btw. like... lots! unfortunately, i'm not talented enough to wake up and write a fic all the way through the end in 1-3 sittings. i need like 5 business days to figure out which jk pic i'm using bro

anon will be turned off for my peace of mind (for now). ikkk it's annoying bc most of u guys are so kind and sweet ,, but it feels like every time i turn it back on,, ppl get ballsy and like srsly???

i am scared of balls

three: kimi's note

at the end of the day, i’m jus a girl writing a silly little story in her free time!

did u catch that? in my free time. the time i put into sitting down, writing, fixing and pacing plots, etc; are all unpaid. i do this because i want to share my creativity and delusions. with that, as a fic writer, i understand and have accepted that there are times when i should feed into the audience/readers' expectations and needs...

and that’s exactly it.

i get to pick and choose what to feed into, what i give out, and what i keep.

with being on tumblr for 4yrs, i've seen so many fic writers leave bitter notes because of how nasty their asks inbox gets. (thankfully, mine is nothing like that) i will not let my inbox become that. i refuse to let my blog and fics burn me out.

i’ve grown so much as a writer over the years. i'm so proud of myself too. yet, i am aware and understand that i am still continuing to learn abt what boundaries i need/have when it comes to my work. i am learning what that means with my social media presence. i am learning how to not let passive/negative asks bother me. i am learning.

if u've been following me long enough, u know how often i take breaks to take care of my mental health, school/work schedule, and maintain/improve my quality of fics.

to be honest, i was really hurt and discouraged when anons gave their 2 cents with my break idea. i posted that to communicate where my headspace was and to have received entitled and inconsiderate responses really threw me off. although, i understand it may not be that serious to the ones that sent it in and i (probably am) overreacting,, i would still like to put it out in the universe that i am not okay with receiving responses like those. please think before you send in. some things are better left unsaid and often unnecessary as it makes me feel like i'm jus a content machine or smt.

and in case u forgot— 

i am a real human with feelings (sometimes with too many).

i'm thankful to have realized and accepted my (known) boundaries. i'm grateful for the confidence and security i have with my wonderful readers and work, knowing that i'm worth the wait.

i know i can and will be taking all the breaks i want. i will binge/content dump all i want. i will take 2 weeks if i want.

through all of this,, i promise to do my best and be better in the future !

if u read everything,, thank u. i wanted to say everything from a place of love and reflection,, so i appreciate u taking the time to understand me. i hope i continue to be a writer u look forward to.

promise ! i'll make u proud ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

all the love,

kimi ♡

[leezlelatch]

Copia x F! Reader. Hurt, comfort, Copia adoring you.

You promised to text Copia when things got bad again. When you felt like crying because life seemed hopeless. When you felt trapped. When people were cruel for no reason other than the fact that you were the first warm body in their line of sight.

Regardless of what you did. Or what you said. Because you’re inconsiderate and a bitch. Ungrateful. Can’t do anything right. All those little words swirling around your head, screaming at you and clawing at your mind, until you shove it back down and smile the next day.

So you text Copia. You don’t even think ten minutes passed before he’s knocking on your door. His face is so soft, yet wracked with concern, his eyebrows pulled down so fiercely you want to smooth them out with a finger. He smiles when he sees you.

“Were you sleeping?” You ask with concern, glancing at the clock on your bedside table.

“I was! Sì,” Copia says, ushering himself into your room. He walks toward your bed and begins fussing with the covers. “And then I said to myself ‘ah shit’.” His shoulders slump. “How the hell can I sleep without il mio tesoro, eh?”

“And my text had nothing to do with it?” You ask, a smile already beginning to play at the corners of your mouth. Copia notices.

“Ah, well, you see, it is in my mind,” he responds, tapping his temple. “We are connected. I was just thinking these things and then you texted me! Your Papa knows when you need him.”

Your smile grows, and you let out a breath, like a gasp of relief, and Copia’s body physically deflates as if he was bracing himself throughout the conversation, unsure of how it would go. But of course, you are the master of pretending things are alright.

“Alrighty then, come on. Come to bed,” he ushers, pulling back your sheets. You approach the bed, his eyes watching you with hawk-like intensity. Through the jokes and teasing, you see agony in his gaze. The way his hands shake. And when you are carefully under the covers, Copia full body grabs you and drags you across the mattress into his embrace.

His legs lock around yours and his arms cradle you against his chest. Having successfully lured you into bed, he’s not smiling anymore. He’s not teasing. He looks…mad, more than anything. Even as he tucks you so carefully under his chin.

“I love you,” he says, and when you go to speak, he shushes you. “No. You will listen, bambina. I love you. You know your Papa, yeah? Your Copia? I think the world of you. I think you’re perfect. And for someone not to think so? Bah. They are not worth your time.”

He grips your chin with gentle fingers, angling your head to look at him.

“I understand. I always feel like Cardi because that is all they see me as. But not you. Not my amore. You see me and I am free,” his thumb brushes your bottom lip. “Let me free you. If they cannot accept us, we accept each other, sì? We love each other. And we make it through.”

Tears slide down your cheeks and he tsks gently, a soft coo escaping him as he wipes them away.

“And one day we’re going to look back and…see nothing of them. But of what we built together. Because that it was matters. What you do matters. And you will be loved for it.”

Copia draws you close once more, dropping tiny kisses to your skin, whispering his love, and being…everything you have ever wished for. And as you fall asleep, you know that in his arms, you will be okay.

[sunflowersandsapphires]

I saw something in the fandom that made me upset and I need to rant about it. It’ll be below the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

I cropped the name off of this post because I am not trying to start drama, but I found this under the “Matt Murdock x Reader” tag and found it INCREDIBLY disheartening to go through to comments/reblogs and see how many people agreed.

I am in no way trying to dispute the fact that fandom spaces and self-insert fanfiction is heavily white washed/influenced by white writers. As a white woman myself, I catch many little slip ups in my own work that make my writing less accessible than I want it to be. I understand being frustrated that there aren’t many stories where you feel your appearance has been considered.

However: fanfiction, fanart, gif making and coloring, edits, and other forms of fan-made-content are usually completely free to access. No one is entitled to them—they are a privilege, not a right. Which means that people are allowed to write whatever characters they want, even if it’s not completely unique or what you want to read.

My issue is with OP’s critiques of weak/feminine/sweet/innocent readers and the way they voiced their opinion (again, not disputing the appearance stuff). I know that many readers are sweet or innocent, but as someone who is rarely given the space to be the “damsel in distress” so to speak, I enjoy writing characters who are taken care of and protected. Regardless of my or any other writer’s reasoning for writing the characters this way, we are allowed to do that. It’s our fucking work.

If you don’t like something, no one is forcing you to read it. If you notice a lack of fics that appeal to you, write some yourself. It is inconsiderate to chastise people spending hours of their free time to give you content that you can enjoy just because it’s not exactly what you want to see.

Also, don’t threaten to block me if you don’t like how I write. Just block me. It is your responsibility to curate an enjoyable experience on this app, not everyone else’s.

In summary: I am not trying to say that fandom is perfect or inclusive or that critiques of my writing aren’t welcome. This person can have whatever opinions they like and are welcome to post them on their blog. I would just like to point out that the delivery could’ve been more polite and that authors don’t need to change the plots/characters’ personalities they write just because others aren’t happy with the outcome.

[thief-of-eggs]

I love the way you write Alastor and the way you write Luci. I know so many writers who maintain a very specific stereotype about aroace people, e.g. “Ew don’t touch me, you’re gross and I want to kill you because i would rather DIE then be touched” or “haha this character hates every single type of affection and is snarky because of it” and it’s just so icky to me… like yes some aroace people hate touch but they don’t hate other people, arocas people can have friends

yes alastor is snarky, it’s not because he’s aroace. he’s just a bitch (said with love) and his sexuality shouldn’t be used as his only personality trait,

idk if any of that rant made sense but I js wna say how much I appreciate the way you write and characterize Radioapple :3

Firstly- thank you so so much, this is so amazing to hear!!! It means a lot to me to have a canon aroace character, which is why I love diving into/embracing it in the fics I write!!

100% as you said, Alastor is a bitch because Alastor is a bitch, nothing to do with his sexuality. He’s a bit self centered, a bit harsh, a bit inconsiderate- but that’s just him and his sparkle. Not his sexuality.

And as for the hating touch- I wish more people understood how asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum! It’s not a one size fits all! It’s huge!!!

Personally, I like to think that Alastor doesn’t particularly like touch due to past trauma, as well as sensory issues. I don’t think it’s all to do with his aromanticism (I think he’s more the type to be indifferent to romantic things, not repulsed by them) But I do think his touch aversion is real, just not stemming from his aroace identity.

And of course, I’m not in Alastor’s head (or Vivzie’s) but I like to think that touch is OK with Alastor, so long as it is on his terms- and I think “on his terms” includes those people whom he’s given either silent or spoken permission to in regards to touching him. Which is a huge difference from “I hate all forms of touch and I’ll kill you if you touch me”

We see with Mimzie and Rosie and Niffty that Alastor is OK with touch- he lets them initiate touch and he doesn’t bat an eye. Which is why I think so long as he’s comfortable with them, then touch is somewhat permitted. He may not feel the same sort of butterflies or attraction etc through touch- but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy it for what it brings to him!

I think it’s a big trust thing, and I also like to think it changes day to day. What’s alright on one day may be too much on the next. But I also like to think that Luci would be 100% understanding of that.

As you said- it’s not just all or nothing with aroace people, and it sucks that that streotype exists. At its core, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction- but that says nothing against physical touch in general. And aromanticism at its core is a lack of romantic attraction- which again, says nothing on physical touch!

Not to mention, love is such a complicated, multi faceted thing. Aroace people are not incapable of love. Aroace people are not stony beings who do not crave reassurance and human connection. We just crave it differently than others.

[laura1633]

you're crazy, charles just had one of the worst race bcs ferrari fuck him up again, and what u think of it was how this circumstances was fit into the prompt some people ask u. please could u be more conciderate to treat him like a human he is and not ur fanfiction tools?

I was going to ignore this ask completely because quite frankly it’s ridiculous, especially given the nature of this blog, but I think there is an important point to be made. 

Firstly, this is my blog and I am entitled to post whatever I want.

Secondly, and this might be difficult for you anon, you need to pause and take a second to realise that people react to things in different ways. You might not like RPF or you might only like it within certain circumstances but you certainly don’t speak for everyone. What makes you you think that it is okay for you to dictate how other people deal with their emotions?! I can’t even begin to tell you how narrow minded and inconsiderate that is of you. 

I spent the few hours after the race discussing Charles’ situation and speculating on what options he has but then I decided to take a step back. I assume you want me to keep doom posting but I can assure you that that will not improve Charles’ situation. I suppose I could have tried marching to Maranello to try and take control of Ferrari by force but alas I didn’t think of that at the time.

I understand that you might feel frustrated, angry or sad after the race but if seeing fan fiction takes about it makes you this upset then I would suggest, with all sincerity, taking a step away from the internet after a race. It’s up to you though, I am not here to tell you what to do. I just think it is important we realise that this is a sport and we should try not to take on all the stress and negativity of it in our own lives as difficult as that can be sometimes. 

This blog is 90% fan fiction and contained to a site where it should not reach Max, Charles or anyone who knows them. When they are racing I support them as drivers but when I am writing about them then I suppose they are fan fiction tools. That doesn’t make them any less human. I find that writing fan fiction about events helps me set the emotions around a race aside rather than carry that negativity around with me. 

In short, I think you need to stop being rude to people online (anonymously no less), stop trying to regulate other people’s reactions to things and stop taking away other people’s fun and/or emotional outlets. Charles won’t thank us for it, he doesn’t even know we exist! 

If you think this is some gotcha moment I can assure you that it is not. If Charles has another bad race (and I say if because please let Ferrari regroup and come back stronger) but if he has another bad race you best believe that I am fictionally going to make Max fuck him either harder next time thanks to this ask, so hard that Charles won’t remember what team he drives for. I therefore respectfully suggest you block this account to save yourself future stress.

Peace and love and all that though, thanks for stopping by 😂😘 

[toythrob]

Too shy to slide in your dms but I need to get something off my chest. I saw how detailed your answer to the last ask about edging regiment was (that wasn't me btw) but it made me believe you'd be the best person to approach

I'm extremely new to this side of Tumblr. I literally didn't even know about edging until a month ago. I'm very interested in learning more about it. But, I've been cumming non stop since I had my first ever orgasm years ago. I've had like 3 orgasms a day at minimum. So it's not easy for me to just flip the switch and not cum again. I tried getting into edging myself but I'd literally end up cumming on the 3-4th edge.

I realised I needed actual guidance from someone, someone who can teach me and hold me accountable, so I made this Tumblr. Since then, I've encountered a few doms/mutuals who claimed they could help me in this journey. But their instructions were always "don't cum for the next 3 days", "don't touch yourself for a week" and punishments if I broke the rules. Obviously it went nowhere because i ended up cumming pretty quickly.

This is just leaving me more frustrated now. I know what I need, i need a schedule, i need someone to let me cum in the beginning and then slowly increase the gap between when I'm allowed to cum. Use my love for orgasms as a way to ease me into edging. But no dom seems to understand it.

Am i wrong for wanting this? Is this an absurd approach to even expect? am i just a failure at being an edgeslut?

Sorry if this is too long. Feel free to ignore if you don't want to respond, i totally don't mind!

- ✨

I‘m happy to hear from you. I’m sure that you’re not the only one in this situation, so I‘ll try my best to answer this in as much detail as possible as this could be helpful for others as well.

First of all, you’re not in the wrong at all and you‘re not a failure. Sometimes people can be too impatient or inconsiderate. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for you to start off slow, especially considering that you’re still quite new to all of this. You should always have fun and not feel like you’re being pushed to do anything.

I‘ve got a few ideas on how you could ease yourself into this and slowly increase the intensity.

For the beginning, it might be enough to try edging just once. Make sure to stop when you feel yourself getting close…it’s better to stop too soon rather than too late. Over time you will get a better feeling for how far you can push yourself before you inevitably cum. Then take a break for a minute in order to calm down again.

This might already be the point at which you want to reward yourself and make yourself cum. But depending on how you feel, you could also stop altogether and just go about your day (to practice being denied) or start over again with another edge (maybe pushing yourself just a little bit further this time). You could even see how long you can keep doing this and just edge again and again until you can’t control it anymore and finally cum.

I don’t know what the right starting point for you is. I could imagine that you might want to start increasing the number of edges first in order to get used to controlling yourself and stopping in time. Once you think that you’re comfortable with that, try denying yourself…for example start with a manageable amount of edges in the morning and wait until the evening to give yourself an orgasm (or maybe just a few hours if that’s too hard in the beginning). Next, try to increase the denial period and/or number of edges.

Regarding an exact plan, I’m not sure what the right approach for you is…that’s for you to decide. Especially after hearing about your experiences so far, I could understand if you wanted to start on your own and explore how far you can push yourself. Needless to say, it’s easier when someone else is in control and tells you what to do (as long as that’s reasonable). I‘m of course more than happy to help with that if you need it 😉 (communication is easier if you dm me but it’s not a problem if you want to keep this anonymous)

And don’t worry too much about the occasional accidental orgasm…you’re still very new to this and need to learn how your body reacts. As long as you’re not doing it on purpose, I don’t see a reason for such harsh punishments 😉

I hope that this was helpful for you. Let me know how you get on with edging and denial. As this is public, maybe also let others know what helped you and if you have some other useful tips and ideas for starting off.

[petitreve]

Vance Hopper x Reader: Perfection

Vance Hopper wasn’t a bad person. He wasn’t. No matter what the principal, the cashier at grab n’ go, the sheriff, the… well, anyone said. He wasn’t evil, he wasn’t malicious, he wasn’t a monster. He needed help, he craved help. He didn’t want to push everyone away, like her. The ONE person who never saw him as what everyone else called him.

His Diamond in the rough, his Angel. He’s lost count of the times she’s waited for him outside of the local police station. She was the only one who understood why he was the way he was. Vance knew how people were. Cruel, inconsiderate, sick, incompetent. He refused to let them, to only treat him the way they treated each other. “Friends” insulting the more unfortunate friends in their group. He knew with his home life he would be one of those unfortunate souls to be picked on by those he’d call “friends”, so he became someone no one would dare insult or degrade.

That leads to now:

“I just…. I don’t understand why you’re so against this?” The girl begged the slightly taller blond boy.

“I’ve fucking told you COUNTLESS times, (Y/n)!” His voice came out more harsh than intended, but he knew her of all people would understand. She knew how his brain functioned, or therefore lack of.

“Yeah but, it won’t be like last time, Vance. I promise!” In any other circumstances her pleading with her big eyes would make him melt, but just the mention of “last time” was enough to piss him off.

“(Y/n), I said I’m NOT fucking going. Just drop it and leave.” He knew his words weren’t matching how he felt, they never did when he felt strong emotions. Like the first time she said she loved him, he told her how utterly stupid that was and asked why she would waste her affections on someone “like him”.

Vance knew he was a failure, he wasn’t going to go far. Everyone, except his mother and (Y/n), made sure he knew that. He quickly learned that if he accepted it, then they could no longer use that against him.

“Vance just hear me ou-“ the girl began before the blond cut her off. Before either of them could react Vance had already spun around and pinned the smaller girl to the wall by her throat.

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU’RE SO FUCKING SPECIAL, (Y/N)?! HUH?! WHO THE FUCK HAS BEEN PUTTING THAT IN YOUR HEAD, ‘CAUSE IT SURE AS HELL WASN’T ME.” His words flew out from his pink lips before his mind had time to process just who he was screaming at. It took him a few minutes of staring into those oh so familiar eyes to realize exactly what he had done. “(Y/n)… baby..”

The same girl who had sat beside him after all his fights cleaned the few wounds he sustained. The girl who his mother had told him to cherish and protect, up until now that was all he had done. He held her to his chest after EVERY cruel comment her supposed “friends” made about her or their relationship. Vance never understood why she spoke to them, or why she wanted to go to this stupid party. She was the polar opposite of him, the part of him that was influenced by her stupid romance movies understood, but his “Vance logic” side could never.

(Y/n) sat idly by as others insulted her, the second an insult was to be muttered out of some fuckers lips Vance had already thrown the first four punches. They truly balanced each other out. She was his clarity, his logic. He was her safety, her haven. Yet here he was, pinning her as if she was one of those brats who fucked up his pinball game.

Part of him wanted to let go, to apologize, to beg her for forgiveness. But deep down he knew, he knew, if he let her go, she won’t come back to him. She’ll run, as far and as fast as she can. She would NEVER admit it to him, but her eyes said it all.

He slowly moved his hand from her throat to the back of her head, with a slow steady motion he pulled her head closer so she could hide her face in his neck. The sounds of the broken sobs escaping her destroyed him, before this was only a terror that plagued him in his nightmares. His purity, his Angel, sobbing into his neck, clinging to the ends of his denim vest.

“I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean to. I’m here, it’s okay. Nothing is going to hurt you.” He cooed to her as if she was a startled kitten. She knew his words were true, she knew deep down he would NEVER hurt her. He was just angry, not at her, but with them. He couldn’t stand the way she would come to him behind the school while he was with his friends, with her tear-stained cheeks.

Anyone who didn’t know Vance would believe the reason was that he was embarrassed by her, but he wasn’t. Seeing the one you would kill for come to you sniffling and choking back sobs to not draw more attention to themselves breaks you inside, no matter who you are. She didn't deserve to be treated that horribly, especially not by assholes like them.

Once her sobs died down, he slowly led her to the couch. Her head sat gently on his chest, her leg slightly over his lap. He wouldn’t trade this for the world, she wouldn’t either. Him playing with her hair, her listening to his heartbeat. It was perfection.

“… I really am sorry, Doll… I didn't mean to say the cruel things I did… I get it if you don't forgive me.” Vance tried to keep his voice from shaking as he held her closer afraid that any moment she would disappear.

“Vance… I know you didn't mean it, I shouldn't have been pushing you. I know you don't like them.” her voice was slightly hoarse from the crying, and her words were muffled by his chest, but Vance understood. “I won't try to force you to go again.”

Vance thought for a moment, he didn't want to go, but she did. He didn't want her to go alone though. The idea of her there alone, isolated, crying on the sidelines of the party as everything she says is ignored. “Or.”

He watched her head perk up as he spoke, “We could stay here, like this, and watch some shit tv.” hearing him speak caused her to giggle softly. Vance was no Lord Byron, but the way he spoke always managed to amuse her. “How’s that sound? Hm?”

Feeling her move closer to feel more of him, more of his warmth, more of the safety she so desired in this world. “Perfect… It sounds perfect.”

[vrisrezis]

Hi! I hope you're having a nice night or day. May I request the bnha class 1-a characters you write for + the types of people they'd hate to be around? Basically just the people they can't stand, whether it's platonically or romantically. Thank you!

(Some manga spoilers in shoji and aoyamas part)

Izuku can stand mean people, if the treatment he received from kacchan for so long is anything to go by. But you’d have to be a special kind of mean, the kinda mean that doesn’t come from a place of some form of mistreatment, or some inferiority complex, or even because you just don’t know any better. He cannot stand people that will just pick on others for the sake of it. In his eyes, kacchan is a good person, even if he was a bit cruel in his younger days. But he hates a person that’s clearly terrible, through and through, and there’s no true reason behind it, you’re just straight up terrible. Like a comic book villain with no character depth, just straight up, no morales, just a terrible human being.

Kacchan can’t stand people he sees as weak. As he grows, his idea of weak changes. Nowadays, he can’t stand somebody who talks big and then cowers when it comes to a fight, or has the audacity to look down on others when they’re as pathetic as a koalas entire fucking existence is. (I fucking hate koalas holy shit.) Hes no stranger to putting up a front for other people, but he’s still real about who he is and he hates anyone that plays pretend for the world. He does not hide behind a facade, even if he can’t be honest about how he feels, even if he has to act tough, he’s not a liar about who he truly is and what his ideals are. He hates somebody that is too ashamed of themselves to be honest about who they truly are. Because to him, that’s fear. And to him, letting fear control you like that, to that point, is weakness.

Shoto can’t stand people that are inconsiderate and selfish. The reason he adores his class so much is because he sees the good in everyone, their kindness, their selflessness, how considerate they are of eachother, even bakugou is in his own way. But somebody that simply doesn’t care for anyone but themselves reminds him all too well about why his family fell apart to begin with, because his father was selfish and far too focused on himself and what he wanted. If you tend to be selfish but show remorse for it, and are trying to be better, he wouldn’t mind you so much. He minds people that are unapologetically selfish and simply don’t care for others. To him, it’s a dangerous trait for anyone to have.

Ejirou hates anyone that isn’t an honest person, compulsive liars annoy him and he can’t stand being around somebody he can’t trust. Ejirou is an honest guy, and is pretty much an open book. So he doesn’t understand how people could ever pride themselves in being fake. It’s completely foreign to him and he’ll never understand. He doesn’t mind small lies, and it’s not like he’s gonna deny lies all together but he can’t trust somebody who consistently lies about things. Important things or even things that don’t matter, if it’s constant he doesn’t like it, simply put.

Denki hates being around people that are overly snobby. He really can’t stand being around overly confident rich kids (bakugou doesn’t count because he isn’t snobby lol). It’s not like he minds his rich friends, he likes em! Maybe he’s a little jealous but that’s all! But he really can’t stand somebody snobby and judge-mental just because people happen to have less than you or whatever the reason may be for your bitchiness. He doesn’t mind somebody that’s bitchy, he deals with bakugou on a everyday basis. However, he does mind somebody that’s bitchy just because they happen to be rich and often brag about the money they have.

Sero cannot stand people that prey on the weak in order to make themselves feel better. How pathetic do you have to be? Honestly, nothing makes him more angry and it’s partially why he wants to be a pro hero so much. He wants to protect others from the likes of people that abuse their power and pick on those in weaker positions. He wants to be a person high in power, but for the good reasons. He would despise bakugou in junior high, but at the same time he is all for people changing and becoming better people. Seeing you first hand be a shit person to the “weak” would seriously piss him off.

Ochako hates people that simply revel in hatred, who enjoy it. She thinks it’s sad, people like that probably don’t have much going for them and don’t have much to enjoy in life if they enjoy hating others and others hating them. While she may sympathize with you she still can’t stand you, and everything it is you stand for. She can’t be around somebody that brings drama everywhere they go and is always itching for a fight, or to hurt other peoples feelings. It’s so attention seeking it’s embarrassing. If she didn’t feel so bad for you, she’d tell you off a lot more.

Mina can’t find it in her to hate most people, but she will say she cannot stand people that are… well… sadistic. Even in a sexual manner and even if it’s a consensual thing she just… hates it. Like way more than the average person. She thinks you’re horrible.. so HORRIBLE for enjoying peoples suffering and while that’s how most people would feel she has a special hatred for people like that and it makes her stomach turn and it makes her feel so unpleasant, even if it’s just bullying and poking fun, if you enjoy doing that so much, for the sake of just seeing somebody cry it sickens her.

Momo can’t stand people with next to no manners. The kinda people that would pick their nose in a public space, those kinda people just disgust her. A lot more petty than everyone else on this list but she was raised a certain way and she just can’t believe that some people aren’t the same? Most people on this list would find it gross but not enough to hate them, but momo finds herself really being unable to be your friend because who does that so openly? She doesn’t even hate bakugou like that, and he’s rude as hell. She doesn’t even mind him that much but even she can get annoyed with some of the conversations she overhears him have. She’s not a snob or anything, she just values politeness a lot.

Jirou can’t stand people that make fun of people for their interests. A personal thing she’s always hated, she used to always get made fun of for wanting to be a pro, whilst having a passion for music. It’s caused her to have some issues with it herself, so she just hates anyone that makes fun of people for enjoying something they love. They’re not doing anything wrong! It’s not a crime to have a hobby. She understands criticisms of different things people enjoy, but shitting on somebody for their interests isn’t rocking at all, in her opinion.

Tsu can’t stand people that don’t listen. If it’s an accident, she can get over it cause she knows it’s not their fault, but if it’s because you clearly don’t care and it’s on purpose it can be upsetting because it’s clear you don’t care about how she feels or what she has to say. This is a pretty standard thing to hate in a person, but she hates it especially. She hates being ignored in general, so this is a bit more than just a pet peeve and she’s not against dropping you rather quickly over it either.

Tokoyami can’t stand people that act kind but secretly are just snobby assholes. The audacity you have to act like you care for others, when in reality you’re simply using them for your own benefit. The audacity you have to act kind, and when somebody realizes it? You act like a victim? Truly annoying. He hates people like that and he’s not one to shy away from calling you out on that shit either. He can never get over it, how can somebody be like that? The hawks situation, with twice really eats him up inside. Somebody he idolized so much, could he really be like that. Could he? Was he just pretending to be a carefree bird, or was he just so carefree he didn’t even care if he murdered a man? Things like this keep him up at night.

Shoji hates people that discriminate against others. Of course, everyone on this list does but naturally he has a special distain for it, as somebody that’s been hurt and discriminated against for his appearance. He will hold a special hatred for you, especially if you’re in UA with him. How could somebody aim to be a hero but be … like that?

Aoyama would hate somebody with villainous traits to them. Perhaps it’s because it reminds him of who he is. That he’s no better than a villain himself. Even if this wasn’t something he desired. He can’t stand being around people that use and abuse others. It just upsets him to his very core.

iida hates people that seek vengeance. It’s obvious why. He hates those that are vengeful, constantly looking for fights, even for the sake of others. It’s even worse if you’re being self righteous about it. It just reminds him of what he thinks is the worst mistake he ever made. He sees himself. He hates it so much it hurts to describe. So he finds himself constantly trying to change you, fix you. He knows it’s wrong though, you are who you are. He just happens to hate who you are.

Ojirou is a chill guy, you’ll find it’s very hard for him to hate people. But he hates people that are just… annoying. You’d have to be a special kinda annoying. The type to be overly two faced and talking shit about everyone you meet. Like a middle schooler. It’s just so tiring and draining to be around somebody so negative and he can’t stand it. But what he hates even more is that he’s acting like what he hates too. Because at the end of the day he acts nice, when he secretly hates your guts.

[orionsangel86]

The Problem With Thessaly

I’m sure plenty of fans would agree with me that there are certain elements of the Sandman comics that are going to be very difficult to adapt for television. I don’t envy the mammoth task Neil and the creative team on the show have ahead of them. But one element in particular which has been on my mind frequently is how they are going to introduce Thessaly to our screens.

It’s not just that she’s a TERF. It’s that she’s a cold, cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate bitch who only ever thinks about herself. Oh yeah, and she’s a huge TERF. There isn’t a single likeable element to her.

And yet.

We are supposed to somehow believe that our main protagonist, idiotic as he may sometimes be, depressed and seriously down on his luck as he is, will fall head over heels in love with her.

Sorry. But it ain’t happening. Something has gotta change. So here are my thoughts on how they could fix the Thessaly Problem.

Under a cut for comic spoilers (and its a bit long)

I kinda get the reason it happens in the comics. Kinda. I can’t remember the exact quote, or where I read it, but Neil explained it as “two people who you know are absolutely not right for each other and no one who knows them can understand why they are together.” He purposely wrote it to be a really weird match that didn’t make sense.

From Dream’s perspective, at this point in the story he has just had some of his biggest romantic disasters slapped in his face (at one point literally) all within a very short space of time for an entity as long lived as him. First Calliope, then Nada, and then Alianora, and he is hurting from all of them. Having to face his romantic failures one after another within the space of a few years AFTER having to go through 70 odd years of relentless suffering trapped in a glass prison has GOT to mess with your head. So I think Thessaly is basically the worst rebound in history. They are only canonically together for a few weeks but he somehow falls head over heels for this plain, dull, horrible person. 100% this is a rebound. He’s messed up. So yeah, I kinda get it.

From Thessaly’s perspective it seems she just really liked the idea of being the object of someones attention and desire even though she never returned his feelings and left him the minute he stopped devoting all his attention to her (god she really is a bitch).

So why don’t I think this will work in the show?

Because the show is a kinder universe than the comic. Dream is different in the show. He is already more thoughtful, warm, compassionate, and has a better self awareness when it comes to his shortcomings. He’s also a far more romantic character in the show, which is probably thanks to Tom Sturridge’s excellent performance and likeability and absolutely maddening sexual chemistry with literally every character he interacts with (his pretty face doesn’t hurt either). You just have to look at his scenes with Calliope to know that they are playing up the romance and kindness there when in the comics Dream is extremely cold to Calliope throughout their very short interactions.

Given the news that the writing team on Game of You will include trans writers specifically to cover the sensitivities of honouring Wanda, I don’t know how they will adapt the transphobia she suffers at Thessaly’s hand, or whether they will include that at all - personally I think they should remove it. Not to make Thessaly more likeable, but because it reinforces a really wrong view of witchcraft and magick that modern witches and pagans are working extremely hard to reject. Not to get too deep into these topics, but transphobia is a fucking plague in those communities and the last thing we need is more people thinking everyone who practices witchcraft is a fucking TERF. The comic even goes so far as to imply the actual MOON is transphobic. Like WTF? The moon isn’t fucking transphobic and “womb magic” is stupid. If I ever have to read the words “divine feminine” in a witchcraft FB group again I’m gonna scream.

Anyway my point is that I don’t think those scenes in the comic are necessary and there are plenty of other ways to adapt that story without resorting to transphobia.

The other issue is that if they do keep it in, they somehow have to deal with the fact that their protagonist is seemingly totally cool with dating a transphobic murderous bitch. Um. Yeah, not cool Dream. I think the show is going to do everything it can to make Dream MORE likeable and based on what we have seen so far I definitely think that’s the route they are taking.

So yeah Dream won’t be falling in love with a TERF in the show, that I am sure of.

The thing is, the best way they can deal with the Thessaly problem is also the simplest - Don’t include her. Just don’t write her into the show. Simples.

Because we already have a character in the show universe who technically doesn’t exist in comic canon, who knows magic and the occult, and who is MUCH more likeable and kind whilst still being a bit messy and selfish and totally a terrible match for Dream... Oh, and who also happens to be played by possibly the most well known actor on the shows main cast list.

Johanna Constantine.

Jenna Coleman is a fairly big name and one of the primary stars for the show. At least Netflix seemed to think so since her face was all over the marketing and she was included in basically every cast interview, even though her character only turns up in 1 and a half episodes. She is also playing a new version of an already well known character in pop culture and I am convinced Netflix is already considering spin off options for her. So there is no way they aren’t going to include her in future episodes of the Sandman.

Except thats where Netflix has a problem if it wants to stick to comic canon. Lady Johanna Constantine only turns up in one more Sandman story, and John Constantine doesn’t show up again at all in the comics.

So my piece of speculation that I’m almost 90% certain will happen, is that they will bring back modern Johanna Constantine in an extended or adapted role based on another character.

My money is on Thessaly. Remove Thessaly, replace her with Johanna.

I’m not just saying this because I think Johanna and Morpheus hooking up will be hot (it will be, don’t deny it. My bisexual ass knows a hot couple when I see them). But because it makes sense.

Yeah okay we have that pesky little rule about the Endless not dating mortals - but that rule currently doesn’t exist in show canon either, so theres no reason why they can’t just also scrap that for the sake of some sexy, messy, and definitely disastrous bi4bi action.

All jokes aside, with only a few tweaks to the story in a Game of You, you could seemlessly fit Johanna into it. She can be in New York for a specific case, hell, maybe Barbie and the sudden appearance of Martin Tenbones on a busy New York street IS the case she’s investigating? She can still find a way to break Hazel and Foxglove into the Dreaming AND when Morpheus shows up they can have another tantalising showdown like they did in episode 3. It works better with Johanna tbh. She actually cares about people, the motivation is there for her to want to save Barbie and protect people from supernatural sources. We can just make the storm and the collapse of the apartment block be caused by George or the cuckoo or something (or not have it happen at all since I am also practically certain that Wanda is NOT going to die in the show).

This ALSO means that much later on, when Lyta is having her breakdown and destroying the Dreaming, having Johanna being the one to protect her from Morpheus rather than Thessaly also adds a more human element to it. Morpheus has never been a killer, but sometimes his duties demand it. He goes to kill Lyta to prevent the Kindly Ones destroying the Dreaming. If it is Johanna blocking him instead of Thessaly, their motives align. Johanna would protect Lyta for the simple fact that she won’t let a supernatural creature harm a human (as much as she can - sorry Kevin), and Morpheus, being hesitant about killing anyway, would be easily talked out of it by Johanna. “Find another way to save the Dreaming, I won’t let you harm her.”

It just adds an emotional weight that isn’t there with Thessaly, who only protects Lyta because she made a deal with the Kindly Ones in exchange for more centuries of life - an ironic request when Morpheus (and Death) are keeping Hob Gadling alive simply so he can be Dream’s BFF.

It just works for me. Scrap the “no mortals” rule and you can have them have the messy disastrous relationship that doesn’t work out. It is far more believable that Johanna Constantine could break Dream’s heart - she’s already a known heartbreaker in the show (sorry Rachel). It’s a doomed love story a modern audience can get behind, makes sense, the actors already have insane sexual chemistry, and it could definitely hit all those story beats needed to get the show to a version of the Kindly Ones whilst also actively improving it.

I may first and foremost be a Dreamling shipper, but talking in terms of canon I very much want Morpheus to have a passionate short-lived heart breaking affair with Johanna. Fuck Thessaly. Keep her relegated to comic canon. Morphanna all the way.

And THAT is how we fix the problem with Thessaly.

[scaredycatqlt]

HII idk if your requests are still open but PLEASE can you do bojack/ mr peanutbutter dating head canons or any of your choice, the fandom needs more fanfics 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

awwWWW YEAH BABYYY. You already KNOW it’s gonna be toxic.

WARNING: Potentially triggering content. Nothing graphic, but talk of toxic/unhealthy relationships, questionable shit, BoJack being BoJack. SUPER MEGA FUCKING ANGST WARNING!!!

BoJack X Reader! Headcanons [ROMANTIC💔]

woah boy.

where do I even start with this guy?

okay, so, first things first; bad idea. What the absolute fuck were you thinking.

You probably have a fix-it mentality don’t you?

You’re probably the first person to talk to him. He either doesn’t care about you at first, or absolutely despises you.

chances are you are/were a fan of the show. (Eughhh,,,,)

If you weren’t he’s like ‘>:0’

It’s not really explicitly labeled as a romantic relationship. You guys probably hooked up before you even knew each other.

So being in this (more so situation-ship than anything) is toxic, to say the least.

He’s got a whole bunch of problems and he doesn’t want to ruin you to. But he ends up doing just that anyways.

He guilt trips you. I don’t even need to say that.

He rants to you about silly things that don’t even matter. It’s kind of endearing (if he weren’t a total piece of shit.)

He’s actually really good at making conversation. You two always have something to talk about.

He can’t believe someone as ‘not-him’ as you would ever waste your time with him. He explicitly tells you this at one point.

The red flags are BLARING GIRL.

In your defense, you really didn’t know how awful he was. You just thought he was a deeply flawed man. And he is, but he’s also just an ass.

*a horse

The relationship doesn’t last. It never does with him. Either you decide to cut it off because it’s too toxic, or he cuts it off. Probably in some drunken stupor.

typical BoJack.

Mr. Peanut butter X Reader! [ROMANTIC]

I’d like to start off by saying it would be much less toxic than a relationship with BoJack.

But still problematic…

Mr. Peanut butter and you knew eachother before you were dating, probably friends for a little while.

You two end up dating and the beginning of the relationship is idealistic and perfect!

But problems quickly arise.

like for example, Mr. Peanut butter is kind and friendly but he isn’t exactly considerate or caring. He may care about you, but he ignores your needs sometimes. More often by accident.

For example, if you don’t like people-you’re still not getting left out of parties. Mr PB is more sympathetic and much less empathetic.

His love language is gift giving and words of affirmation. I think this is made very clear throughout the show.

PREPARE TO BE FUCKING SPOILED WITH GIFTS!!!

Whether you like it or not….

He’s very open with people about your two’s relationship and how he feels about you. He’s quick to praise you.

aside from some of the inconsiderate mess he is literally a golden retriever boyfriend <3

he is VERY quick to ask you to marry him. But I feel like if you told him you’d think about it or ‘no’ he’d understand. It’s a big decision HE might be ready for, but you’re not.

Scratch his ears.

I feel like you’d date him at a point in time where Diane isn’t a problem anymore. He learned after the first time…,,,

Sometimes he puts his needs infront of yours-without realizing it.

If you want to have a serious conversation-you’re going to have to initiate it. He HATES those, and prefers to pretend like it never happened.

I feel like there’s honestly a chance of a long term relationship with him! Or you two break up like, maybe a year or so into the relationship.

sorry I haven’t responded to requests in, like, over a month. I’ve been kinda busyyyyfhhjjjgjg 😭

[fuck-customers]

God some ppl truly are on this earth for themselves and themselves alone. Not a shred of empathy for other humans, it’s just them in their own little world and everyone else can just get fucked. I don’t get how ppl get through life with that kind of outlook like tofay i had a lady, I saw her taking a shirt out of her cart and throwing it on my shelf in my section (I can’t leave my section during store hours) and so I asked her to please hang on to it and give it to the cashier if she didn’t want it.

“Well someone else put this in my cart.”

Ok… that still doesn’t mean you need to leave it in the shelf that I just fucking cleaned and tidied. Whether you picked it up or not, fhe nice thing to do would be to take it with you and hand it off to the cashier later. It’s really not asking a lot. But as I said before, some ppl refuse to do even the smallest fucking favor for their fellow human.

I tell her that even if it wasn’t hers, she’d be doing me a big favor by taking it bc we work very hard to keep things tidy and I also can’t leave my area to go put the shirt back in it’s place. I’m hoping she will finally get the idea and be nice to me.

Nope, she continues to argue.

“Well I’m just gonna leave it on this other shelf then, it’s in the clothes section.” I look at her like ??? Like how is that any better than leaving it on a shelf in the makeup section? Someone is still going to have to pick that up.

I’m just baffled speechless at this point but I guess she took that as me not understanding what she says. She continues “I’ll just leave it with the clothes bc it’s clothing.”

Like yes bitch I understand your stupid logic. What I’m not understanding is why you’re so goddamn averse to doing the littlest, convenient fucking favor for a retail worker. What im not understanding is how people like you fucking exist, that would rather argue and whine and fight tooth and nail before they do something nice for someone else.

Finally she says she’s going to leave it in the clothes and just turns away and throws it on top of a shelf of shoes and storms off. I call after her “these are the shoes?” But she pretends she doesn’t hear me. Fucking cunt. Will never understand people like this, it truly blows my mind how selfish and inconsiderate some ppl are. It’s so disheartening to know that some people really do consider workers to be subhuman, and that any act of kindness towards them is pointless/wasted. Fuck off and die and when you’re reincarnated into the next life, I hope you work in retail and get shat on just like you do to everyone now. What goes around comes around and if you’ve been living your whole life this way, honey you’ve got a LOT coming

Posted by admin Rodney.

[otakusheep15]

Hey there! I’d love to do a romantic TWST matchup exchange if you’re open to it! You can send your info my way and I’ll have a matchup ready for you ASAP! If not, no worries at all!

Here’s my info:

General: I’m a triple a: Asexual, Aromatic, and Agender (they/them). I love doing these little requests to see who would be interested in me though, I can’t explain it hehe.

Personality: I am blunt and humorous. I tend to say and do as I please, and although it is rarely to the detriment of someone else, I can be apathetic and uncaring towards people I dislike. I tend to put others’ needs above my own. I'll talk for hours about my interests and passions, and I'm always up for a challenge. I also have a very strong moral compass, and I refuse to compromise on it. I try to be kind above all else, especially to those who seem to be in a rough place, as I haven’t always been treated kindly, and I want others to feel loved. Despite that, I can dislike someone immensely for even the smallest mistakes, and I hold on to grudges for a very long time. It’s very easy to notice when I don’t like someone. I have a bad habit of being nosy; I have to know all the gossip and if I’m interested in something I tend to find out all of the information I can about it. In a similar vein, I’m really bad at keeping secrets, as I often forget they’re supposed to be secrets at all. I’m hedonistic, and I tend to overindulge in my loves and passions due to my lack of self controll to the point that it often causes me harm. I’m known for giving great advice and being a good shoulder to cry on, but I don’t let others take advantage of that. I do well in emergency situations, especially when leadership is needed, but I also tend to crumble under mounting stress, and lash out when upset. Overall I'm determined, creative, and compassionate, but also stubborn, judgmental, and fearful.

Likes: I love horror media and anything deemed unsettling, since things that make me uncomfortable fascinate me. I love animals (especially tarantulas and spiders) and nature, and I spend a lot of time drawing and painting the world around me and taking walks on sunny days. On that note, I’m an explorer, and I tend to get into spaces I shouldn’t be if only because my curiosity got the better of me. I enjoy composing, playing, and listening to music, especially instrumentals, rock, and soundtracks. I also play video games, especially RPGs and FPS games. Although I don’t like athletics and sports that much, climbing, running, and adventuring is always fun for me, especially with friends.

Dislikes: Inconsiderate people, especially when they’re not aware of how they’re inconveniencing others. People who can’t enjoy silence and talk to fill it tend to get on my nerves as well. I also dislike those who are arrogant and cruel, and I have a particular distaste for seafood and being touched, although I am definitely a tactile person towards others.

What I look for in a partner: Someone who is kind and understanding of my flaws, and especially someone with a good sense of humor. I feel like I don’t truly connect with people until we laugh about something together. I value honesty and communication as well, so someone who isn’t willing or can’t be open and vulnerable with me is a no go. As pessimistic as I am, I also believe in doing good and making other people’s days a little bit brighter if possible, so I couldn’t be around a cynic or someone intentionally cruel. I love giving gifts and providing words of affirmation, and I love receiving both as well.

Fun Facts: I like to read medical textbooks, and I find visiting cadaver labs and watching medical procedures thrilling. I’m double jointed in almost every one of my fingers and in my wrists, which makes me pretty adept at playing musical instruments that require hand movements.

Thanks again for your time, and have a wonderful day and/or night!

I'd love to do an exchange! I'll def send a request over after this!

I think your best match would be Lilia!

You and Lilia have a lot in common, and I do mean a lot. Your personalities are very similar, but you're also just different enough to keep it interesting. One of the biggest differences is that Lilia is a lot better at hiding his disdain for others, so it'd much harder to know if he truly dislikes someone or not. However, he's still very petty, and he's not above playing tricks on those he thinks deserves it, so if he knows you don't like someone, they'll be his next targets. He's also very blunt, but he hides it behind his playfulness, so it's hard to tell whether or not he's joking.

Lilia is also very kind. He cares a lot for those he considers family, such as Malleus, Silver, and Sebek, and it's clear he has an easy time making friends as seen with Kalim and Cater. He's a very nurturing figure, and his maturity makes him a good person to receive advice from. For how silly he tends to be, he can give genuinely good advice if he thinks the situation calls for it.

If you ever want to know the latest gossip, Lilia is your guy as well. He has ears all over the school, and he knows everything about everyone. He's definitely your best bet if you ever need dirt on someone. Lilia also has no problem sharing what he knows as long as there's no major harm done to anyone involved. If it's a secret that could genuinely cause harm to someone, he's less inclined to share, but secrets that crazy rarely pop up, so he has infinite amounts of gossip to share.

Sometimes, Lilia can be hedonistic as well, but he's learned how to control it for the most part. This mostly comes out in the pranks that he pulls on others, as he finds it funny to mildly spook and/or inconvenience someone. Still, he's learned to hold himself back, and he'll help you do the same if you want him to. He won't force you to let him help if you're not in the mood for it, but if you ever ask, he's more than willing.

One of his biggest strengths is that he used to be a war general, so Lilia is fantastic under pressure. If he sees you taking on too much at once, he'll definitely help to lighten the load. He's caring by nature, and he'd hate to see any of his loved ones crack under severe stress. He's had to do the same for Malleus, Silver, and Sebek before, so helping you is no problem to him. He's also good at dealing with you lashing out, as he's not one to take it personally if you do or say something mean in a time of stress. He knows when you're being genuine and when you're just lashing out, so he doesn't take any of it personally.

In terms of likes, you and Lilia have basically all the same hobbies. He is also a fan of the spooky and uncomfortable, and he has a plethora of weird grindhouse films to show you if you'd ever want to have a marathon. Lilia has also quite literally travelled the world, so exploring is his favorite thing. He has many tales to share about the many lands he's explored, and he would be more than happy to take you to any of them. The two of you can also write music together, and the music club would definitely welcome you with open arms. Maybe you can convince them to actually play during practice instead of goofing off the whole time.

As for your dislikes, I don't see Lilia being a problem. He is very aware of the people around him, and while he certainly loves playing pranks, he knows not to take it too far. He's also much different from when he was a general, but even back then, he was never cruel, especially compared to others involved in the war. While he does like physical touch a lot, he also respects boundaries, and he'd do anything to make you comfortable. If you don't want him to touch you, he won't.

So, overall, Lilia is quite the fit for your type. He is very kind and understanding, and he would never fault you for any of your flaws. Of course, he would push you to be your best self, as that's what he wants for all of his favorite people, but he would never push you past your limits. He has a great sense of humor with a wide variety of jokes. He's very good at matching his humor to the people around him. With how long he's been alive, Lilia has no time for miscommunication or beating around the bush. He is very open about his feelings, and he's very blunt about his thoughts. He would never lie to or mislead you, and he speaks with you openly and genuinely. Lilia may have been a bit of a cynic at one point, but after raise Malleus and Silver, that's definitely changed him. he's a very bright and fun-loving person, and he's the optimist everyone needs in their life. His love language is gift giving, as he always makes sure to grab souvenirs for everyone when he travels somewhere. His favorite receiving love language is quality time, as he loves to just enjoy the company of those he loves most.

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