#ladyknightrambles

[ladyknightskye]

Kai, baby girl, I love you so much Wrong John Silver absolutely deserved the ass-whooping you gave him. I love him too but it’s International Women’s Day so we’re focusing on you girl.

[ladyknightskye]

Shout out to my FedEx driver today who had the gumption to shoot his shot and was by far the politest man to ever ask my number. I hope he does not beat himself up too much that my reply was “sweetheart I’m married.”

You tried, you were polite about it, and I hope you find the chubby unkept woman of your dreams.

[ladyknightskye]

Things Jack Kline would do that I will absolutely include in my fics because I just watched my three year old son do it: take a big bite of an unpeeled hard-boiled egg and just crunch on it while his parent stared at him in horror.

[ladyknightskye]

I’m going to note that in regards to Crab Day I -

Am participating because it is the kind of unhinged shenanigan I expect from Tumblr.

Do not expect it to “dig Tumblr out of debt” though I would argue that the people saying Tumblr can get help from the parent corp forget that in this capitalist hellscape a company that needs a bailout that isn’t growing in some other manner is considered a failure and must be fixed (why do you think we have Tumblr Live yall?)

Am aware that a bunch of the vocal proponents are apparently people I’d block because of rhetoric but this is a case of “oh no the worst person you know has a good idea.”

Am aware that I could give this money to a charity but have decided to instead use it for fun and to make my moots smile for a day. Also I beg people who don’t want to participate to you know, give the 3 bucks to charity and leave participants alone about it. This is the same sort of guilt tripping that turns a poor person buying a small Starbucks as a treat into the “reason why you’re poor!” It is not a crime to use my hard earned money for a little selfish stuff now and again. It’s not like all of us are billionaires blowing money on yachts guys.

Am choosing to give it to Tumblr because y’all, I’d rather them think that selling me stupid little micro transaction badges is better than, I dunno, trying to become Twitter, Tiktok, or Facebook 2.0 (have I mentioned the hellishness of Tumblr Live?)

Have I also mentioned it’s fun and if you don’t want to or can’t give your money to Tumblr you don’t have to? Let the rest of us have some fun. If you wanna participate, reblog crab memes or make crab art. Ask to receive crabs! Laugh at the stupidity of it all and enjoy the newest batshit Tumblr Holiday.

Do remember that @staff are a bunch of inmates running the asylum and they answer to their overlords. I refuse to bitch em out over feature that they are being forced to introduce.

Have I mentioned this is gonna be fun? It’s meant to be fun.

[ladyknightskye]

Now I need to see you do this @hauntedpearl because I also want to and want to compare our answers like bingo.

[ladyknightskye]

@mrtobenamedlater -

It appears that we have a Shrodinger’s Kai.

[ladyknightskye]

My husband has started playing Far Cry 5.

I remembered that Mark Pellegrino voiced one of the bad guys.

Out of curiosity I look it up.

The character is a stoic vaguely cannibalistic combat veteran mountain man who says vaguely shippy things to you in that sweet sweet S5 of SPN Lucifer voice while you also find out that he commits all kinds of atrocities to protect his brothers who he is ready to die for.

How the fuck do you hit all my dark fave buttons in one fell swoop, Ubisoft? What the fuck.

[ladyknightskye]

Me channeling my inner cat: I shall boop anyone I see fit with no rhyme or reason!

Me suffering from my crippling RSD: but not too much because I’m afraid to spam and make you hate me.

Me remembering I’m on the Spam Bothering is the Culture Website: I SHALL BOOP ANYONE I SEE FIT WITH NO RHYME OR REASON

[ladyknightskye]

VANNEK. I adore you now. You and Kai and my sweet Wrong John Silver.

[ladyknightskye]

… reading a serial novel whose MC is isekai’d into a novel but -

He’s a green-eyed frat bro who speaks in pop culture references and works as a part time mechanic on classic muscle cars. His brother is a nerd who takes a lot of care with his appearance with emphasis on his hair.

Now where have I seen this particular set of traits before …

[ladyknightskye]

Me: *gets into Far Cry 5*

Me: *thinks the fans are exaggerating about John decorating the church for a wedding, notably missed my husband starting that part of the final boss battle*

Me: *gets to the beginning of the mission*

Me:

[ladyknightskye]

Me: *talks about sex alot*

Me: *writes a lot of sex*

Me: *enjoys sex with my husband*

Me: *never thinks to question my sexuality until I learn more about Grey-aces and Demisexuality*

Me: *realizes that I sympathize a lot with asexual experiences*

Me: *realizes that while my fantasy life is buckwild, I cannot imagine myself in any fantasy*

Me: *realizes that I don’t experience sexual “punched in the ovaries” attraction very often even for my husband*

Me: *realizes that my appreciation of celebrities is rarely actually anything more than aesthetic attraction*

Me: *realizes that when I do experience it, it’s for a celebrity I have a parasocial relationship with or my husband has done something to appeal to a very particular kink*

Me: *realizes that I do not generally enjoy smut that doesn’t explicitly have an emotional component and it’s nearly impossible for me to write it*

Me: *realizes that what makes my husband attractive is his personality not his body though I do appreciate his dad bod*

Me: *realizes that of the two men I actually dated in my life, one was my childhood friend and the other I knew for almost two years, and he took my virginity and is now my husband*

Me: … oh

[ladyknightskye]

Bluey seems like it should be ridiculous shenanigans but I swear there have been nights where “Sleepytime” more or less happened in this house.

Also, best use of “Jupiter, Bringer of Jollity” no notes 10/10

[ladyknightskye]

Nearly two hundred people have AO3 user subscriptions to me, and I’m just sitting here like. How many of you started following me in the ye olden times of Bagginshield and Transformers? How many of you have sat there and watched me change fixations like seven times now?

How many of you are still waiting for chapter four of that weird Dreamworks/Disney-not-quite-Rise-of-the-Tangled-Dragons massive cross over fic I started back when I was twenty-four and free?

[ladyknightskye]

Wow, there are gonna be some spiritualists that hate me if I ever go hang out with em.

Crystal vibrations? Yeah nope. Crystals are useful and ritualistic purifying them is a handy way of connecting to them but this fluorite palm stone isn’t going to cure my ADHD. The power comes from my belief, not any intrinsic thing to the crystal itself.

“I don’t put it on my skin unless it can go in my mouth.” Hi, let’s talk dosages shall we? Zinc oxide is used to fortify breakfast cereal, but a zinc oxide sunscreen is not something you wanna ingest. Also, you are vastly underestimating your skin barrier and overestimating how good skincare products are at penetrating the dermis.

Don’t get me started on how this one book I’m reading already has my hackles up because of its attitudes towards health.

[ladyknightskye]

I am currently engaged with a boop free for all with like six people I do not know or vaguely recognize and this is the most fun I’ve had in awhile.