#ladypina

[lordmartiya]

Just a cute Lilanette crack story I've found.

@supermenteuse

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

@catcie

[ladymagique-et-ladychance]

Lilanette Week 2020, Day 8- Love Square

Ladybug finally freed Volpina from Hawkmoth’s control.

[starlight-in-a-bottle]

Australia

On a scale of one to the number of butterflies on Hawkmoth’s lair, how jealous would Chat Noir be of Male!Volpina flirting with Ladybug?

[lilanette-week]

HOWDY YALL its time for the second official lilanette week! it starts on december 25, xmas, and goes to january 1st, new years!

~~~~~~* PROMPT LIST

sunday - holidays

monday - cooking/baking

tuesday - winter (playing in snow, winter fashion, etc)

wednesday - kisses and cuddles (sfw plz)

thursday - playing video games

friday - family (could be spending time w family or their own family when they’re adults)

saturday - new years

sunday - any other prompts or late submissions!

how do i participate? make art or edits or fic or anything related to a prompt and post it in the #lilanetteweek tag on the day of that prompt! it’ll get reblogged here for everyone to enjoy!

***also!

i am considering hosting a small lilanette-themed secret santa. if you’re interested, fill out this google form with an email address and a url! i will put it into a drawnames :)

[teammiraculous]

Volpina flirting with Ladybug, and Chat Noir is seething because Ladybug is actually blushing and looks flattered by the attention and this is an outrage- his lines are obviously much better than hers! 

[ladybug-extraordinaire-blog]

When are we going to talk about Volpina’s future crushing on Marinette, for real!

Like, she’s a total tsun-tsun that will fall in love with Marinette Ladybug.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 4: Travel

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

This chapter features Luupa the Wolf Kwami, a character by StellarStylus. It also features an actual restaurant from Rome. Let’s face it: we Italians are a weird nation, and Rome is our capital for a reason.

06/23: Travel

The school was having a trip to Rome… So headmaster Damocles had asked Lila’s advice to plan certain parts, reasoning that, being from Rome, she knew the place better. And the entire school would suffer for his ignorance – after all, only Marinette and Chloè knew just how trolling Lila’s sense of humor could be.

Still, it had been two days in the trip, enough to calm them down after waiting for the other shoe to drop without anything weird happening – she had even forewarned everyone of the horrible state of Rome’s roads, and the worst they had got had been when Sabrina had said one couldn’t go to Rome without visiting the Vatican and the Roman girl had pointed out it’s the same as saying that you can’t go at someone’s house without going to the bathroom (she had particularly enjoyed the appalled shouts when they had got that). That and trying to flirt with Marinette, but while she understood the language and even a bit of the slang courtesy of her grandmother and the similarities of Italian and French she didn’t know the latter enough and had missed the double meanings.

Of course all of that was about to change now that they were to dine at “Cencio La Parolaccia”.

“It’s my favorite restaurant.” she had introduced it, much to Marinette and Chloè’s horror. Especially Marinette’s, who could translate the restaurant’s name.

Then Damocles paved the way, and as soon as he had confirmed they were the French school that had reserved the place the waiter announced them with “Apprepara l’acqua per’ brodo, so’ arrivati i Francesi!”

The entire group of students and teachers was appalled at how they had indirectly been called a bunch of cowards, with insults to their national bird to boot.

“What were you expecting? This place is called “the swearword” for a reason.” Lila stated.

Or, in other words, they were basically paying to get insulted the whole time, as per the restaurant’s gimmick based on just how crass Rome’s dialect was.

“You’re terrible.” Marinette said at her Italian suitor.

“Welcome to Rome, where a mother can call her own child a “son of a whore” and it only comes off as mildly insistent.” Lila replied.

“Fucking truth.” confirmed the waiter.

That was when Damocles realized he had screwed up. Especially as it was now too late to go somewhere else.

__________

“You have no idea what I just got through.” Chat Noir said to the female superheroines as they met near Trajan’s Column. “It got my group too weirded out to notice I disappeared, but…”

“Welcome to Rome, Paris’ exclusive twin city.” Volpina replied, sure that whatever Chat Noir had gone through couldn’t be as traumatic as the prank she had pulled on her classmates to get them to go to sleep early. She’d have done that anyway, but this way she had joined the useful and the fun, as the saying went. “And don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”

“But-”

“She’s right.” Ladybug agreed. “Our cities have an exclusive twinship because we aren’t that different… And I can already see the fun about what this one pulled to get us a distraction. You all remember what we’re here for?”

“Wolf Miraculous – apparently linked to Rome’s foundation and rise to power, and the guys here are now exposing what could well be it in their museum.” Volpina stated. “Guess their claim of descending from Julius Caesar’s family isn’t that fake, if they inherited it from the Julii’s cousins the Romilii…”

“We don’t have time for a history lesson.” Chat said.

Before they could start bickering Ladybug had Volpina cast her Mirage on the cameras and then, using the Horse Miraculous, opened a portal to the room where the possible Wolf Miraculous was being held…

“A’nfame, chi cazzo chiami inutile?! Io te piscio n’culo, e te corco!”

And the related Kwami was insulting Papillon, going so deep in his vulgarity that even Volpina, the Roman one, was blushing. Immediately imitated by two security guards and a man who had arrived there.

“Siam qui apposta.” Volpina said after the Kwami had wished someone killed Papillon.

Then Papillon threw the Miraculous right in Volpina’s face and jumped out of the window, ignoring the guards shooting him.

___________________

“Well, that was weird.” Ladybug said after they had left with the Miraculous, that the man, the apparent head of the family, had insisted they took away.

“Not really, Marcanto’ has heard of the actual stories about jinn, and while he can’t tell the difference with a Kwami he’s smart enough to not mess with them.” Volpina explained. “And speaking of our not-jinni… May we know your name and power, Wolf Kwami?”

“I am Luupa, Kwami of Cooperation, and I grant the power of Pack Unity.” the Kwami replied. “My wielder can allow their companion the best possible coordination in battle-”

“Like a Roman legion! You inspired them!” Volpina was Italian, and while she knew the tales were a bit exaggerated she knew far too well how the ancient Romans used to overcome numerically superior opponents through maneuvers made possible by excellent coordination among their units.

“And a power Papillon can’t use!” Ladybug noted.

“Ugh! Don’t talk me about that idiot.” Luupa protested. “Seriously, what idiot calls himself “The Bowtie”?”

As she chuckled, Volpina mused that this was indeed the Kwami that made Rome, both ancient and present, she wondered how he and Mayura had loved the temporary Heroine they had left behind to deal with Akumas and, if he had done as he had back when they had been in New York, distraction Sentimonsters.

_____________________

The following morning, Lila hadn’t even got her Espresso when Alya made the first attempt to kidnap her. Though even she wasn’t reckless enough to not stop when faced with the Italian’s glare, waiting until she had her coffee before dragging her in a secluded corner and showing how the Tiger Miraculous-equipped heroine, Waghoba sor Roaar, kicked into smithereens the Gamer mech Sentimonster before hammily announcing her name and that Ladybug and Chat Noir were on vacation and had her substitute.

“Lila, you’re her friend… Can you tell me what was Ladybug thinking when she gave my sister a Miraculous?” Alya asked.

“What makes you think it’s Anansi?” Lila asked back, making sure to use Nora’s preferred ring name.

“A Muay Thai championess who uses a tiger god’s name, who else can she be?”

“Point. As for your question… Ladybug’s really stressed, and didn’t take well when “The Bowtie” ruined her previous attempt at getting a vacation.”

“… Remind me to never get her angry at me.”

[ladymagique-et-ladychance]

I don’t know where this came from, but uh....I’m gay? And Ladybug sandwiched between two foxy ladies sounded like a plan.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 6: Hope/Despair

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

It had been such a good day. Adrien and Chat Noir’s faces when they found out they were too late had been amazing, she had got a fake martial arts master (the kind who claims to be able to use no-touch techniques without a gun) to pay her to arrange for a fight with someone who was supposed to take a dive only to sick Anansi on the fool, and Marinette had agreed to a Disneyland date.

So, of course, the moment she took a shortcut Papillon came down of the sky.

“I’ll take the Fox Miraculous, miss Rossi.” he had said.

“You know who has it?” Lila replied, trying to gain time even as she realized the mess she was now in and wondered how she had gotten caught.

“Don’t insult my intelligence, and give me the Miraculous.”

“There’s not much to insult when you’re dealing with someone who calls himself The Bowtie.”

Shocked at the reply and the comparison with what a “papillon” is in Italian, Papillon stared at her with an open mouth, giving Lila the split second she needed to pull her custom pepper spray (10% capsaicin mixed with CS. Utterly illegal for her, but that was what diplomatic immunity was for if she got caught) and spray it in the supervillain’s mouth. An attack a Miraculous does not protect against, as Papillon was learning as he dry-heaved in horrific pain.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t be ready for you?” Lila asked as she put her spray in the pocket (for her jacket, a Gabriel model, had actual pockets. Say what you want about Gabriel Agreste as a person and a father, but as a designer he knew what he was doing).

Then of course the Akuma (the fake martial artist she had exposed, by the outfit) came out of hiding, and she was thrown in a dumpster.

_____________

When Lila woke up she was in a hospital room, with her mother missing (as usual) and half the class around. She was wearing a hospital gown, with her jacket on the hanger… Blinking?

By reflex, Lila grabbed the pillow and hit the hat, from which an eye-thing emerged and then dissolved as defeated Sentimonsters would. Well, that explained it.

“Razza di stronzo…” she commented.

“You’re awake!” Marinette said as she glomped her.

“Yeah. Did the faker break anything?”

“No… But your necklace-”

Lila put a finger on Marinette’s mouth.

“OK, everyone but Marinette out. NOW.”

The others got out, then, after two seconds, Lila opened the door, and the class stumbled in as they lost their support before they actually left.

“Well, now we can talk.” Lila said calmly.

“How are you so calm?!” Marinette half-shrieked half-whispered. “Now Papillon has the Fox Miraculous, and-”

“No, he doesn’t.” Trixx said as he emerged from Lila’s mane.

“The moron has the other necklace, the Gabriel line one.” Lila explained. “That I managed to get a tracker in just yesterday.”

“We… We’re about to find him now!” Marinette realized. Then she had to ask: “But where are you keeping the actual Miraculous?”

“Have you read V for Vendetta, the original graphic novel?”

“Yes, but-”

“Same place Valerie hid her pencil.”

Lila could pinpoint the exact moment Marinette remembered it by when she blushed furiously.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 2: Sick

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

Second part, after a timeskip where Lila has been friends with Marinette in her own unique way. And we get my comments about how the show handled a certain love story, and my solution to Volpina’s anomaly.

06/21: Sick

The previous day had been quite a trip, what with Luka getting Akumatized with truth-forcing powers and demanding to know Marinette’s secret. That the girls thought was her crush on Adrien. Lila, on the other hand, had some fun by flat-out telling him it wasn’t his business, the experience in lying and the anti-truth serum conditioning she had been given due her mother’s job combining to have her tell something that was truthful yet nothing Truth, Luka, or the Bowtie Terrorist (that pun never failed to get a laugh out of Marinette) wanted to know. The discovery Jagged Stone had a child from her former guitarist, on the other hand, had caught her by surprise – she had thought he’d be more careful. Then again Lila was a diplomat’s daughter, closer in carefulness to that Count of Fersen that had seduced half the noblewomen of Europe and even the Queen of France and managed to die childless, not a rockstar.

Then Marinette entered the class just in time, and after looking at her once Lila knew exactly what she had to do: “Ms. Bustier, Marinette’s overworking finally got her sick, I’m bringing her back home for the day.”

“I’m well!” Marinette protested.

“Oh, look, Rose Bride.”

Marinette turned where Lila had been pointing to, her stress making her forget that Chevalot was still at the hospital and Papillon had not Akumatized her since (though one of Mr Pigeon’s appearances had resulted in his birds discharging on her right as she came out of the tribunal), thus proving the Italian’s point. She didn’t make resistance as the Italian brought her back home and to her room – with most of the Adrien pictures long replaced by ones of her friends, Lila having helped taking them down… And relocating them into Tsurugi Kagami’s room as a prank, her ability to speak Japanese with the pattern traditionally attributed to kitsune and a precise description of the prank helping her getting the collaboration of her mother.

“So, should I call your boyfriend and have him take care of you?” Lila teased Marinette after tucking her in. And getting caught by surprise when Marinette flinched.

“We broke up.” Marinette explained. “I-I told him I couldn’t tell- Nevermind, we broke up.”

Lila pinched her nose. If nothing else, that explained how Marinette had been pushed over the edge. As she thought about that, though, she couldn’t help but utter: “Seriously, just because you couldn’t tell him you’re one of Ladybug’s interns?”

“Wait, what?”

“Mapporca… You disappear at any Akuma attack, lie, lie, about why, and you’re too creative to wear Ladybug’s plain suit, the conclusion was obvious: you’re one of the temporary heroes and dodged Miracle Queen, at every attack you go to whatever place Ladybug told you to wait so if she needs help she’ll lend you a Miraculous. There’s nothing wrong with keeping this a secret, just the fact you told him you had it was an incredible sign of trust…”

“You mean it?”

“You weren’t cheating on him or planning other betrayals, and those would have been the only secret he was entitled to find out without your approval. It’s even in the word, its a secret because it’s called a secret, why would anyone try and find out?”

“For the last time, it’s you who are weird!” Trixx said as he came out of the weird Ladybug-themed box.

“For the last time, Trixx-” Lila started to reply as she turned, then she registered that TRIXX THE KWAMI WAS IN MARINETTE’S ROOM AND HAD COME OUT OF THE WEIRD LADYBUG-SHAPED BOX. And two other Kwamis, a red one and a green one, were trying to drag him back into hiding. And that was enough for Lila to break through the Quantum Masking – and put her right hand on her face.

“I went full Countess of Montecristo on someone for months and it turns out she was just neurotic when she offended me…” she stated. “What’s happening here? And most importantly, why do you have such an unimaginative costume?”

They exchanged explanations. On how Marinette had been bullied into near-depression by Chloè until she was given the Ladybug Miraculous and got the confidence to stand up to her and the other issues – including how the Miracle Queen debacle had resulted in the last Guardian (incompletely trained at that) sacrificing his memories to keep the Miraculous out of Papillon’s hands. In turn Lila admitted she had been telling the truth when claiming to Adrien her grandmother had been the holder of the Fox Miraculous and had trained her to succeed her as a heroine – that being how she could get around the limitations when Akumatized, she knew a spell that mimicked Mirage and was using that in place of the real thing – something she had done for a while her uncle found what kind of entertainment she used her illusions for, took away her Miraculous and sent it to the Guardian, and admitted that, in her quest for vengeance, she had been working with Papillon – though with plans to take him down at the end.

“This little trick will take him out on the spot.” she concluded, showing the Alsetex 410 she always carried for defense among things for less tough opponents.

“Marinette, I’m going with this idiot to make sure she keeps a conscience until she redevelops one.” Trixx said.

“You do that.” Marinette said as she took the aspirin Lila had offered her.

“Can I take Alya then?” the Pig Kwami asked.

Before Lila could ask what Marinette had been thinking when she gave the one Miraculous that, once mastered, allows to see through Quantum Masking to someone who wanted to know and expose her secret identity the Ladyblog announced a new Akuma attack.

“Why did you throw her an engine block?” Marinette asked as Lila was tucking her in after dealing with Lies – AKA Tsurugi Kagami (whose personal name was still ridiculous to Lila, as “Kagami” in Italian and Spanish sounds like “shit me”, thank you very much) upset at her relationship troubles with Adrien.

“Because whole cars are designed with crumple zones to increase the safety of the occupants that make poor projectiles, while engine blocks are solid and dense and make excellent projectiles.” came the reply.

“I mean, why so violent?”

“Because I still hold a grudge for her becoming Onichan over less than what Bourgeois did to the fanclub without getting any of them Akumatized, because today I don’t want to keep you out there more than necessary, and because I spotted Alya and this way I’m establishing a narrative that won’t get her hurt over being replaced, one that features the heroine Volpina retiring after the mess with the Evrees out of PTSD and returning because there’s just no time for Rena Rouge to become as competent as needed.”

“And what did you show her?”

“Bourgeois’ little movie, the one that decimated Adrien’s fan club.” the one where she had her minion film her reading at Adrien those desert puns from Asterix and Cleopatra and getting him on his knees from the laughter. “Tsurugi is still convinced that Adrien’s facade is the real thing, if she find out early she was wrong there’s a chance the inevitable break-up won’t be too bad.”

“But-”

“Inevitable. Now rest, I want you back in shape.”

Unseen and unheard by the two humans, Tikki and Trixx were talking about something the former had noticed about her Chosen – namely a suddenly increased willingness to put up with Lila’s (admittedly now more subdued) antics.

“People tend to believe what they want to hear, Tikki.” Trixx explained. “And Lila just said what Marinette wanted and needed to hear.”

“It can’t be that simple, Marinette is too smart, too mature.”

“Poyais.”

That single word left Tikki looking at Trixx in horror, reminding her how just how gullible people can be in the right situation.

“Hey, don’t worry, Lila always had limits on what she’s willing to do, especially when she doesn’t feel threatened, and I know her buttons. She’s no danger to Marinette. If anything, Marinette could become a danger to Lila’s virtue.”

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 7: Miraculous

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

It continues! With another S4 character making his sudden appearance.

06/26: Miraculous

As she came back home to recover the Miraculous and assault Papillon’s home, Marinette was still reeling from her first encounter with Mrs. Rossi, the woman having come to the hospital, checked on Lila, authorized her release from the hospital after making sure she was well, and then walked out to continue the hunt for Papillon that had distracted her for hours, jumping on what Max had identified as a World War II-vintage L6/40lf flamethrower tank. One that Lila assured was fully functional.

“Why does she have a flamethrower tank?!” Marinette finally asked.

“She must have borrowed it from the embassy.” Lila replied, treating it as completely normal.

“And why does the Italian embassy have a flamethrower tank?”

“Just one of the things they moved in to deal with Akuma attacks. They don’t really want too many disruptions, none of the embassies, and they all trust you to put the Akumatized victims back together. I think the Achoo embassy has a bound jinni, and you don’t want to know what the Russians brought.”

Marinette pinched her nose as she entered her room with Marinette… And then freaked out as she saw a weird man in a red Hanfu clothes and ruined shoes, with a bald head, two caterpillars over the eyes, and the Miraculous Box in his hand. A weird man that Lila promptly tasered and knocked out.

“Lila… You knocked out master Su Han, the leader of the Guardians!” Tikki announced in shock.

“Way to go, girl!” Trixx added.

Marinette pinched her nose in annoyance, then she transformed to bring the now identified head Guardian in a safe place in the Catacombs so they and Chat Noir could discuss things.

_______________

“What did you just say?” Chat asked the head Guardian.

“I want the Mother Box back, and you all to relinquish the Miraculous, as per our rules.” Su Han repeated.

“Wait, my memory-” Ladybug started, only to be cut off.

“I’m sorry, but it’s necessary. The rules are-”

“Antiquated.” Volpina cut Su Han off. “For a world where we couldn’t dig a canal from the Atlantic to the Pacific, among other things.”

“I trust it passes through Poyais?”

“No, it goes through Panama.” Chat replied.

“Chat, he doesn’t believe me – Poyais was invented for a scam by Gregor MacGregor, look it up.” came Volpina’s intervention. “It used to be the largest scam on record.”

“Used to?!”

“Well, I can name at least two Ponzi schemes that passed MacGregor’s scam, executed by Reed Sl-”

“Out of nowhere, the word comes from.”

“Uh? Wait, are you calling me a liar?!”

“You are.” Ladybug stated, stopping Volpina in her tracks. “Even if this time you’re telling the truth. Master Su Han, could you come with me for a moment?”

___________________

“This… This goes all the way to Moscow? In less than two days?” Su Han asked.

This being the Ost-West Express, the train that did the voyage between Gare de l’Est in Paris and Moskva Belorusskaya in 38 hours and then back. Something that even the skeptic Guardian, used only to things older than a hundred years, couldn’t deny once he saw it. As expected by the utterly ruined shoes, to Ladybug a hint he had walked all the way from the Monastery to Paris, and he wouldn’t have done that had he known just how much trains had improved since he had been eaten by that Sentimonster.

“We also have ones that go to Venice in 13 hours.” Ladybug said, remembering Lila’s rant about how one going by train between the exclusive twin cities of Rome and Paris had to change trains in Milan (she was especially angry at the fact they had to switch in Milan, for some reason).

“Rule number one: there’s no way the rules can cover everything, so be flexible.” Su Han recited. “I suppose we’ll have to adapt a bit. Now, you said you know where the man abusing the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous is hiding?”

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 1: Trapped Together

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

Well, here’s a new Lilanette Week… And another series of connected chapters to form a full love story. As always, I use the French names and have Lila from Rome for my personal amusement, plus one of my OCs. Hope you’ll enjoy it.

06/20: Trapped Together

“DUPAIN-CHENG! ROSSI! YOU SHALL PAY!”

Marinette pinched her nose as she heard the voice of the one Akuma she had faced more often than Mr. Pigeon. It had been a while since Rose Bride had appeared, enough that she thought Papillon had grown bored with her, but right after her brief expulsion and the consequent readmission the single most annoying Akuma had reappeared.

“Seriously, what’s her problem?”

Oh, and she couldn’t take her down because Lila, hearing the Akuma calling for Marinette, had an attack of common decency and dragged the heroine in disguise in a closet, earning Rose Bride’s anger in the process when she used a flashbang grenade (bought from an airsoft website) to stun it.

“Chevalot is convinced her and Adrien are fated to be together and gets Akumatized every time she thinks someone is putting the moves on him.” Marinette explained.

“So, every five minutes?”

“Not really. Though she’s still the most frequent Akuma even with Papillon ignoring her since a few days after the term started. We thought he had given up on her…”

“Not surprised, I’ve seen how incompetent she is that one time. At least Mr. Pigeon is funny, this idiot’s like a fork in the soup.”

Marinette had to suppress a snort at the ridiculous comparison.

“I suppose we’ll have to stay here for a while. Anything funny to share while we wait?” Lila asked.

“She thinks Adrien is Chat Noir, because only he deserves to be a hero.” Marinette deadpanned, getting Lila to put her head between her (surprisingly large) hands and shake it.

“Goddammit, Adrien’s so naive I underestimated his brains until the other day, Chat Noir’s a genius that can make sense of Ladybug’s weird plans. And that’s without the thing he just knew I had after Volpina…”

“What do you mean?”

“That’s between him and me. But how is she still here? Between the serial Akumatizations and how I overheard her treating her classmates, you’d think she’d have been expelled by now.”

“She’s the daughter of the prefect. He may be under enough investigations that the mayor’s office took over the police, but he’s still powerful enough to cover for her.”

“I’ll put her in a pocket and deal with her later, then.”

That one Marinette recognized as a (paraphrased) Roman insult. Still, now she had to ask something: “Why did you get me expelled and then readmitted? If you hate me so much, it doesn’t make sense.”

“For hopefully the last time, I don’t hate you.” came the answer. “You’ve just made yourself a threat by not letting my house card stand in peace, and when I was paid to get you expelled, I didn’t have reason to refuse. But I like you well enough that when I was asked to get you back in, I did it.”

Marinette didn’t say anything for a while, the silence interrupted only by the Akuma’s shouts. Then, filing away for later the fact someone had paid Lila to get her expelled, she asked another thing: “If you know the situation with your lies is so bad, why don’t you come clean?”

“Because I can’t, obviously. My mom’s a diplomat, everything we’re seen or caught doing or saying reflects on Italy. I’m just a teenager so I have a bit more leeway, but I still did a stupid thing and I can’t just come clean.”

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed. Will you leave me alone until I move away? I doubt it’ll take much longer.”

“Er… You said something about friendship some time ago. Just… Just don’t lie unless necessary, OK?”

It took a moment before Lila accepted Marinette’s extended hand. “Very well. So, how do you punch? You’ll have to know that, I mean, with the crazier guys…”

Before Marinette could answer they heard Rose Bride’s shrill shout of excitement, and then the Ladyblog announced Chat Noir had soloed the Akuma with a picture and a rope.

“Well, time for me to deal with our lady friend.” Lila said as she opened the door and went out with the same grin she had given Marinette before faking she had been thrown from the stairs.

A few moments later Marinette transformed into Ladybug and went to finish off the villain – and find Chat Noir had a realistic picture of himself and Adrien “entertaining” each other.

“WHERE DID YOU FIND IT?!” she screamed after Chat showed it off.

“Volpina made a few and sent them to her PC, and Lila gave me copies when I asked.” Chat replied, completely at peace with it. “Oh, and Adrien said he’s OK with it.”

Making a point of getting her own copies from Lila, Ladybug broke the Akumatized object, purified the Akuma… And was surprised when Lila popped up and asked if they wanted to have fun with her and Marinette. And also when Chevalot pulled a box cutter and attacked Lila – only at the box cutter, though. Lila reflexively grabbing the offending arm, on the other hand, was expected.

“A’nfame, sei uscita dall’ovo de Pasqua?!” Lila exclaimed, expressing her “surprise” at Chevalot’s action. Had she not known the Italian had been planning to get rid of her, Ladybug would have bought it.

________________________________

By the time Ladybug visited Lila’s home to get the pictures, Chevalot had been expelled and forcefully committed to psychiatric treatment – attacking a diplomat’s daughter with a blade and no Akuma had been too much for her protections. Lila was now the school’s hero. And managed to surprise the visiting heroine.

“Get your own entertaining, you pervert.” Lila replied to her request. “Before you ask, I gave it to Chat Noir because he was in it, and that’s it. Though I can give you another thing I did to kill time while Akumatized.” and she showed a picture of Volpina using a whip and other things on Ladybug. One on glossy paper, not on her phone or PC, saving her devices when a thoroughly blushing Ladybug grabbed the picture and ripped it.

“ANYWAY!” the heroine shouted as she forced herself to calm down and stop blushing. “I saw you helped Marinette, I thought you hated her.”

“We had disagreements, and resolved them. Something I fear the two of us can only do with my revenge.”

“What?”

“I’m not an idiot. I know you were only apologizing to make yourself look good with your friend. Or maybe because I put you through hell, I saw the Ladyblog about your battle with Volpina, you would have lost your Miraculous early had it not been for that pigeon.”

“It’s not like that! I know I went too far at the park, just that!”

“You know, I’m a diplomat’s daughter. I’m an expert of this kind of lies. And your mascot character, or whoever gave you the earrings, trained you well – I’d have bought it if I hadn’t known better.”

“But…”

“You said it yourself, we’ll never be friends. Now, get the pictures you’re entitled to and get out of my house.”

With a sigh and no pictures, Ladybug left, wondering how she could deal with this problem.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 3: Science Fiction

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

One thing she had been grateful to Lila for was her talking Chloe out of her mother’s toxic influence. She hadn’t succeeded in time to prevent the whole Miracle Queen debacle, but now she was back trying to become a good person, and even taking therapy (something Lila also sorely needed, but even if she could be talked into it there was the problem of how it would reflect on her mother’s image in the weird diplomatic circles). As an addendum, now Sabrina was in their friends group, something Marinette was usually happy for… But not right now.

“How did Sabrina guess I’m Multimouse?!” Marinette complained to Lila after they were alone.

“Her father is a police officer, one trusted with commanding groups during important operations – she’s grown around secrets just like me, she was bound to get suspicious. That, or she saw the Mirage you used to divert Chat Noir’s suspicions, and kept the secret because, well, she’s a cop’s daughter. Still, I would have expected her not to tell the others when Juleka asked about your break-up…”

That was when the Ladyblog signaled that a perfectly normal-looking punk biker had been caught trying to find the heroic Volpina and then sent flying the police officer that had confronted him about it.

“Didn’t think Alya would hesitate calling him an Akuma.” Lila said.

“After that monster in London?” Marinette asked.

“Well, let’s see what we have.”

___________________

“Let’s see… He followed the Mirage me in the Bièvre and swam back to the surface, then shrugged off impact from five rakes, a brick to the head, and even an anvil… What can we say?” Volpina asked the two other heroes as she put away the piano at their insistence.

“That you carry the weirdest things in your Miraculous?” Ladybug asked back.

“That Rena Rouge could have done a lot more had she known about what you put in there?” Chat Noir deadpanned.

“I liked the Loony Toons, so what? But aside for that?”

“It’s most likely an Akuma.” Ladybug admitted. “Though we need to talk about what else you may have in there…”

Then Mr. Pigeon arrived on a swarm of pigeons and started carrying away the not-Akuma, ranting of how he had squashed a pigeon when throwing away the anvil, while the surprisingly resilient biker tried to fight back.

“I stand corrected. Now what-Volpina?”

Volpina had pulled out a binocular and started cussing like only a Roman of Rome and few others could. Then she pulled out another thing.

“What the-an RPG-7?!” Chat Noir shouted.

“Of course not, it’s an AirTronic PSRL-1, it’s made of better steel and has better optics, though it can use the same ammunition.” came Volpina’s reply as she removed the rocket and replaced it with a larger one.

“Put that thing down!” was Ladybug’s demand.

“You’re right, Mr. Pigeon and his flying rats don’t deserve this, and I need to interrogate that overgrown mushroom before killing it. Though I really wanted to finally use the thermobaric rocket…”

With that Volpina put the weapon back in her flute and cast the illusion of a tower of peregrine falcons, scattering the pigeons and making both Mr. Pigeon and his would-be victim fall down – the latter making a metallic noise when hitting the ground. Then, as Paris’ heroes dealt with the Akumatized villain, she grabbed the biker’s weird medallion and punched through his chest, revealing him as a metallic exoskeleton for a much slimmer individual, that looked perfectly human aside for the green skin and hot pink hands.

“You’re not an Evree!” Volpina accused the green man.

“Am I really that ugly?” he replied.

“No, but I couldn’t see your face – only the Evree tracker medallion and that you just wouldn’t give up.”

“Had the owner in my escape pod, before I could eject him in space.”

“Did you finish it off?”

“I fired my thrusters in his face.

“What are you talking about?”

Volpina and the green man looked at the two other heroes and the now free Mr Ramier, the latter of which had made the question while the former two were appalled at just how the Vixen and the green man were talking of killing someone, that and the apparent overkill.

“Nothing you should worry about, Mr Ramier.” Volpina replied. “Though my colleagues may be interested.”

_______________________________________

The talk had been moved at Gustave Eiffel’s apartment over the Tower, of which Ladybug and Chat Noir had the keys. And there they learned that the Evrees that had been fought by the United Heroez and Volpina weren’t just some alien pirates but a full alien invasion of planet-looting emotion-eating fungal lifeforms that moved around the cosmo with a mothership the size of a small moon. The ones that had repeatedly raided New York had been vanguards, trying to establish a beachhead and sabotage US defenses to allow a full-scale invasion without facing the US nuclear arsenal – that they could have weathered had they not decided to try and avoid the losses that would have caused, and that they had been stopped right as their emperor had been about to deploy their full force.

“And that is why I came here to talk with you, the broadcast I intercepted spoke of your role in defeating the invaders.” the alien – whose world had been conquered by the Evrees – explained. “My world fell, we lowered our orbital defenses for a few minutes as a sign of peace after signing the commercial treaty, and before we could reactivate them they had already overran the capital.”

“My role was small.” Volpina admitted. “Yes, I beat up a few of them, and was in the strike team, but I was the distraction, Doorman got us in and out, Feniks and the Russian soldiers were the ones that deployed the hundred megaton bomb – didn’t think the Russians were crazy enough to rebuild that monstrosity, or generous enough to provide it free of charge – and Jade Turtle saved everyone more times I can count with his shields, and wrecked his back doing so.”

“Master Fu did what?!” Chat Noir shouted.

“Considering the situation, I’m more surprised he didn’t Cataclysm everything.” Ladybug stated.

“He did that, and before he could leave my uncle decided to retire me and gave him my Miraculous.” Volpina confirmed. “Found out he was the Guardian only then…”

“I don’t know what happened, but from what I found out it was you to talk the surviving commanders into turning on each other.” the alien pointed out.

“Honestly, I just helped preserving our nukes, they were weakened enough humanity’s combined missiles would have done the job. Anyway, happy to have given justice to your people.”

“They conquered my world 36 of your days ago.”

“Cosa?”

“They had another planet spaceship and emperor, and it was them who invaded my world. We had an evacuation plan in place just in case, three colony ships – the Xabra they got in orbit, the Xenia escaped but I don’t know where, and my ship, the Antra… We were coming here to warn you and give you our technology, we knew you were better warriors than us, but they had an infiltrator on board and got us near Saturn. I’m the only one who escaped, with a full database… And-”

“And I can get you in contact with those who can actually make use of it.”

____________________

It had been quick – a call to the Italian embassy in Paris, and they had been able to bring the alien (who, when someone finally asked his name, had identified himself as doctor Xarion, First Counselor for Energy for the planet Xerba) to the Élysée directly to the French president. Even after his stunt in New York, Papillon didn’t rate that high. Then the three heroes had gone back to what they had been doing before Xarion’s arrival… Or at least tried, as Lila was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Lila, what is it?”

“The Evrees!”

“What about them? You and the United Heroez already beat them once, and-”

“And next time they won’t toy with us! They’ll get serious from the start! And then they’ll-”

“A time traveler told me we’re going to win.”

There. She had said it. Marinette hadn’t wanted to reveal Bunnyx’ existence, but she just couldn’t bear to see Lila in that state. Also, she totally had to snap her out of it before she got Akumatized. And that was the most important part. Seriously.

“It… Is it true?” Lila asked.

“The Rabbit Miraculous has the power of time travel, and the Holder, Bunnyx, arrived chasing a villain created by a future Papillon and told us a few things. Including that we’re going to defeat an alien invasion.”

Lila looked Marinette for a few moments, processing what she had just been told. Then, surprising both of them, she grabbed Marinette jacked and pulled her so she could stamp a kiss on her lips.

“Oh…” the Italian said as what she had done dawned on her. “See you tomorrow, OK?”

With that, Lila bolted, leaving Marinette to stand for about half a minute before she realized what had just happened.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 8: Anything

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

And now, the grand finale.

06/27: Anything

It had been an extremely anticlimatic battle. They had assembled all the temporary Miraculous heroes and then some, with Ivan taking the Bull, Mylene the Mouse, Alya the Dog, Alix finally receiving the Rabbit, Chloé (at Lila’s insistence) having the Wolf, and Juleka a shotgun as they had determined she was the best available candidate for either the Butterfly or the Peacock and Volpina wouldn’t let her come unarmed, and with Su Han had portaled inside… Only to find Papillon still incapacitated by the pepper spray, being cared by his Akuma, who Volpina punched out as he was charging some energy ball, and Mayura, who was casually defeated by Su Han with what Volpina and Waghoba identified as actual working ki-enhanched martial arts.

“I’m-I’m doing it for Emilie.” Papillon, or rather Gabriel Agreste, said after being exposed. “She fell ill for using the broken Peacock Miraculous, and-”

“Nooroo, why didn’t you have him Akumatize his son with the power to heal her?” Su Han asked the Kwami.

“WHAT?!”

“He didn’t ask, and I didn’t really trust either of them, not when they built this secret base in their basement.” Nooroo explained matter-of-factly. “The moment he decided to try and steal the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous rather than ask the help of the one Guardian he knew was still active only confirmed my judgment, and he only grew more insane from there.”

Volpina and Carapace couldn’t help but snicker at Gabriel’s outraged look, while Chat Noir looked fit for Akumatization, grumbling about “All this mess because he’d rather play supervillain than ask for help…”

“Now, I believe it’s time you know each other’s identity.” Su Han declared. “The risks have expired, and you’ll need training and to know each other to deal with the evils to come.”

“Wait!” Chat said. “I need to prepare two cameras, Plagg insisted Ladybug and I need to have our pictures taken when we’d find out each other’s identities.”

“Make that three, I want to see Viperion’s face when he realizes he’s a complete idiot.”

They set the cameras up and returned to their other identities. And indeed, Plagg had been wise to have them set up. Especially after Alya’s started ranting about Adrien being too much into Marinette’s other identity to notice her crush.

“Wait, she has a crush on me?!” Adrien shouted.

“Had.” Lila stated, and kissed Marinette while flipping the bird to Adrien and Luka.

Then they started making out, with Lila lowering her arm to better kiss her girlfriend – and rub it into Adrien and Luka.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 5: Professional

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

Marinette was looking at her phone and the most recent fashion article. Or rather, the most recent article about the self-proclaimed Queen of Fashion, who had been visiting Rome with her husband… And had gone to dine at “La Parolaccia”, with the obvious results. And by how Chloe and her sister were trying not to laugh, it was obvious who was responsible for that.

“Now what?” she asked to herself. “I know, she deserves to lose all her influence as the commentators destroy her and the mayor can finally divorce her, but…”

“But she was supposed to be the jumping point for your career without relying on the other guy.” Lila completed. “You know what? Happy early birthday, and come to my place after school.”

“Uh?”

___________________________

After school, and after facing Stylish Banana Queen in all her bling, her incredibly tacky limo, and the giant baboon Amok (it was official, Papillon hated Audrey. Not that they could blame him) with the help of the new heroine Vesperia, Marinette came to Lila’s house, finding Alya, Juleka, and a projector connected to Lila’s tablet.

“So, remember those pics of Juleka and me in your newest outfits we’ve been taking since I started taking jobs at Gabriel’s?” Lila asked. “Behold!”

Then Lila activated the projector, and showed off a website for an MDC designer, with Lila and Juleka modeling Marinette’s outfits.

“We’ve been working on it for a while, since I realized you don’t have that much business sense.” Lila stated bluntly. “But you have fashion sense, and your friends include a part-time model, an aspiring model, and the Ladyblogger, and we’re preparing to launch you. Just wait until we get Wayhem or another boy model not connected to Gabby and we get some words from Jagged Stone and Clara Nightingale, and you’ll be The Notorious MDC in no timMMPH!”

Seeing Lila’s well-prepared presentation interrupted by her finally winning over Marinette and the latter demonstrating through what Lila would later describe as “A kiss, with a lot of tongue. Too much tongue… And I loved it!”, Alya took a picture and sent it to Adrien with the description “You’re too late, sunshine”.

[lilanette-week]

do u like suffering by having rarepairs for ur otp? do u like changing the “new girl gets between the girl protagonist and their love interest boy” trope to “new girl and protag fall in love?” do u like marinette dupain-cheng and lila? do you love ladybug and volpina?

THEN THIS IS THE WEEK FOR YOU!!!!

~~~~~~~* WEEK OF LILANETTE (JULY 10-17)

YOU MAY BE ASKING THESE QUESTIONS

wat is lilanette week? on every day of lilanette week, there will be a prompt and YOU will be encouraged to make art, write fic, or make anything based on that prompt and any of the ships in the lilanette square. 

why are you doing this? this lovely anon gave me the idea. they are the true savior

why should i do this? this rare pair is literally the death of me. please contribute to making stuff for lilanette. we have nothing. we are in a drought. a desert. we will bond in our suffering and we will enjoy this beauteous pairing.

what happens with the stuff i make? everything will be reblogged to this blog and tagged correctly (as long as your stuff is tagged with #lilanetteweek), so everyone can see the beauty and it will be forever memorialized on this blog. 

what are the prompts? currently there is a tentative list of prompts here, but they are subject to change as people submit ideas

is it only for lilanette? NAY! THIS WEEK will accept not only lilanette, but lilabug, volpinette and ladypina as well. the whole love square is welcome

can i submit things where the endgame is marichat, ladrien, adrienette or ladynoir? no. you have the entire fandom to do that. 

i love lilanette. me too

~~~~~~~*

PLEASE SUFFER ALONGSIDE ME AND MY FELLOW LILANETTE SHIPPERS