#last night when i said it out loud—‘my grandma died’—my roommates hugged me immediately

[bestfluteninja]

i am so loved. i am so so loved.

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Di piano e forte 03

pt. 1 ↠  pt. 2  ↠ pt. 3 ↠ pt. 4

↠Summary: Piano; A keyboard of cypress, played with soft and loud. Was it the ivory and onyx keys that let you escape from your reality…Or was it the man with sable hair and ivory skin. 

↠Genre: Angst, fluff.

↠Warnings: This fic contains slight domestic and verbal abuse as well as mature subjects.

author’s note: Updates for this series on Thursday or Friday, enjoy!

They were fighting again. 

That was the beginning of your sleepless nights.

As dysfunctional as their relationship was you’d think the would’ve split up by now. It was cursing out each other one minute then cursing at you to get out of the room. That was on your list of things you hated most about living here, and you had a long list. That's what you heard all night, they bickered and she went on about why she thought he was cheating and other stuff that didn't concern you. You stood in the kitchen, preparing some tea to take back to your room when you heard a knock at the door. With your mug still in hand you went to peek through the peep hole. She knocked once again, earning a startled flinch from you.

You opened the door, and cherry ran up to greet her as well, seeing her with two large grocery bags on her arms and a bright smile. “Stop it cherry- Hi, Mel? What's all this?” You questioned, immediately helping her inside.

“I haven’t been to your place, it’s nice.” She looked around on her way to the kitchen and you stared at her baffled. “He may be douche bag but at least he doesn’t live in a dump.” She chuckled, still hearing no responses from you.

“Mel...” You looked at the bags and sat your tea on the counter and she gave you an odd look of confusion.

“Don't tell me you forgot.” She went towards the kitchen and sat the groceries on the counter, you were clueless. “You said if I brought you the ingredients you'd make a congratulations cake for Hara’s first dance recital - which is tomorrow night.” She crooked her brow until your your mouth hung open in realization.

“Oh God!- I’m so sorry I don’t know how it slipped my mind, I’ll start it right now.” You rushed to change your shirt and ran into the kitchen to start unbagging the groceries. “Mel, you’ll have to forgive me I’ve been a little distracted lately.” You went to the draws to grab measuring cups you know he’s never used. 

“Oh?” She smirked, peeling a banana as she sat on the bar stool. “Distracted by what? Or should I say who?” 

You leveled a cup of flour and sighed. “I have a piano teacher now...” You grinned.

“That’s so good, you need something in your life that isn’t just work. A hobby like that is perfect for you.” She was halfheartedly scrolling through her phone as she continued to talk to you. “Who’s your teacher?”

“His name is Min Yoongi, he’s a student at my university...” You checked under the cabinet for your mothers cook book and sat it open on the counter.

Mel’s grin stretched from ear to ear and you rolled your eyes at what she was getting at. “Is he cute?” Of course she had to ask.

“Um,” You got a little flustered at the question as you went into the fridge for eggs trying to distract yourself from thinking about him. “why does it matter if he’s cute or not?...” You sat the eggs on the counter and began to crack them into a spare bowl.

“So he is cute, I knew it...” She laughed, knowing she could read you like a book. “Do you have his number?”

“Yes I have his number but it’s not like that.” Rinsing your hands off in the warm water from the kitchen sink you gave her an innocent look.

“Is he nice? Does he have a girlfriend?” 

“I don’t know!” You exclaimed, shrugging your shoulders. “Why are you trying to set me up with every guy I come in contact with.” Both of you laughed in unison, it was true; ever since high school she tried to hook you up with her boyfriends friends. She succeeded once, and the ‘double date’ consisted of her leaving you with some weirdo while she went to make out somewhere. You remember it vividly, your date took you to some weird bonfire and - it was just a bad situation.

“I wanna see you with a boyfriend Y/N, they’re not as bothersome as you think.” Say’s the girl who’s ended every relationships she’s been in.

“I don’t think they’re bothersome I’m just not that interested in anyone right now, and I don’t think anyone's interested in me.” 

“Trust me, if you're a pretty girl in college there’s always someone interested in you, they just don’t say it all the time.“ She would know, she knew everything and everyone in high school and if she were in college right now she’d know all of them too. “Hara’s father is coming to her recital, he asked me to get him a ticket last night.” 

“Seriously?” You knew where the mention of him was going.

“Yeah, he kept her last weekend right, and when she came back he was all she talked about, ‘daddy said this, daddy said that, me and daddy did this’. I try to put our problems aside and be a mature grown woman but it’s not easy. I got pregnant when I was twenty one, fresh out of college with a baby. And now she’s a bubbly five year old wondering why mommy and daddy don’t live in the same house anymore.” She groaned. “I tell her that 'mommy and daddy aren’t like your friends mommies and daddies' but she still doesn’t understand.” 

“Well,” You turned the mixer on low to beat the sugar and eggs, “she’s at a very impressionable age. She’s absorbing everything and anything she comes in contact with, and if she notices that you and Jackson aren’t getting along it will affect her development.” You turned off the mixer to beat it by hand.

“You know, for someone with no children you sure know a lot about them.” You giggled. 

“Is Jae nice to you?” She asked suddenly, catching you off guard. 

“Define, nice?” 

“Does he treat you well? Do you guys get along?”

“No and no. I don’t know why my mom decided to move before I could finish school, my grandmas house is being renovated so I can’t go there for another three months. I’m stuck here. He doesn’t hurt me physically but he does get heated over my being here, I don’t blame him. It’s not like he wanted me to move in, his dad made him.” The last thing you wanted to do was talk about him but you had to let it out to someone. “I appreciate having a nice place to stay but it doesn’t feel worth it. The worst part about all this is that he acts like an angel around my mom but as soon as she’s gone I’m nothing but a verbal punching bag.” You muttered bitterly.

‘What’d you mean?”

“His dad left his mom and he’s not over it. His mom gave him everything he wanted but now his dad wants him to learn some independence when in reality he’s just wasting away his life on sluts and drugs. As soon as I get the chance I’m out’a here.”

“You know you always have a room at my house, if you want to stay with me you know I don’t mind.” She’s offered many times but you declined every time, Mel is a great girl but she already has a lot on her hands and she needs to focus on her little girl. “And hey, you know if he ever acts out you have a place to say and lawyer to call.” 

“Thanks Mel...” Skillfully, you poured the batter in one of the cake pans and continued to do the others. 

After sitting for a while she saw the time and got down from the stool. “I gotta go, her rehearsal and final fitting is in an hour and I have to pick her up from day care.” She maneuvered around the counter to give you a big hug. “Thank you again, you’re a life saver.”

“Anything for my favorite niece.“ You smiled, walking her to the front door.

“Oh and I got you a ticket, and one for a friend. Now you have to bring someone or you’ll be wasting my money.” She quipped, walking out the door before you could get on her.

“Mel! Who am I supposed to bring!?” You pouted.

She closed her car door and opened the window. “Bring that piano boy!” 

During the hour of leaving the cake to cool you made the fruit filling and whipped cream icing. You were constantly checking the time because you had a lesson with Yoongi today, you still took your time though, ensuring the cake was as immaculate as it could get. You stepped back to admire your work, you did a pretty good job for this to only be your second time. 

You boxed it up and sat it in the refrigerator, if your brother so much as tasted the icing you’d have his head. He was notorious for picking off the dishes and sweets you’d make for yourself or other people. Seeing that the time is as merciless on you as ever, you rushed to change and ran out the door with thirty minutes to get there. 

When you arrived to the school and locked your car, you saw his was nowhere to be found, maybe he was late. Shrugging your shoulders to yourself you continued on your way, eager to get out of the muggy humidity. Up the stairs and down the hall was 213. You peeked through the window seeing if anyone was in there, there was one guy, Yoongi’s roommate.

“Hello?” You stepped in, catching his attention with your soft voice. 

“Hey, you must be Y/N,” He held out his hand and you scurried over to shake it. “Yoongi’s coming, he was working with a vocalist and he couldn’t get out of the studio early.” He informed you, before going back to his computer. 

Your eyes widened at the sight of the sleek black baby grand in the center of the room. How you managed not to see it was beyond you. Your fingers glided over the clean, cold material. Not a speck of dust on the thing. Pulling out the black stool you sat, just admiring a work of art such as itself. You rested your fingers on the keys, not pressing on them just resting them there. 

Your father used to let you place your five year old fingers over his, making you feel like you could actually play. As you waited you went over the basic scale patterns, not missing a single note, your practice paid off. 

“Hey, Y/N, sorry I’m late.” Yoongi walked in and saw you sitting at the piano. 

“Hi, it’s ok.” You put your hands in your lap and he pulled up a chair to sit beside you like he did everytime.

He sat his bag on the couch and his iced coffee on the desk where Namjoon had been sitting. “I’m gonna show you some chords today,” He sat down, “do you know the difference between the minor and major formula?” 

“The third is flat in minor.” He nodded in agreement. 

“So can you give me a D minor?” He gestured to the keys. Your fingers made their way to the notes d, f, and a, you pressed down and he was pleased by the sound he heard. 

“Now major.” You moved your finger to f sharp hesitantly and he chuckled as you looked at him with wide eyes for approval.

“Good.” You continued to play every chord in the key of d and pressed your lips in a straight line. You turned to him and smiled, he grinned in anticipation of what you were thinking.

“Can you play something for me?” You tilted your head, waiting for him to respond. The way you asked was similar to the way a child would ask, you were bracing yourself for a no but you also knew he'd say yes.

“This is your lesson but, alright.” He stood to his feet and you pushed back the stool to let him sit. “No, you can stay there.” He tapped your thigh to scoot you to the edge of the stool. You pressed your hands into your lap and when his fingers hit the keys your ears were graced with a soft melody. Pale slender fingers danced over the keys, you couldn't stop looking at him. There was great respect for a musician that was so in touch with an instrument, it was mesmerizing. 

“Can you show me how to play that?” 

“You're quite the ambitious learner,” He crooked the corner of his lip, starinyup at you, “I can teach you but it's really not for beginners...” 

“Come on, just a little, please?” You pleaded, giving him a charming smile, one you knew he couldn't resist. 

“Ok.” He took his time to come behind you, his arms pressing lightly against your upper arms as he reached so his hands could get to the piano. You didn't understand and you looked back at him. “How am I supposed to-”

“Put your right hand over mine...” You did, your hand looked humorously small atop his. 

“I'll play D, F#m, Bm, and G on the bass clef and I'll lead you through the melody.” Your fingers were fighting not to press down, wishing you could play without his help. He could smell a dessert like smell the closer he got to your neck, you had that nice sweet smell that wasn't sickeningly overpowering, it was just right. He liked it. His chest rubbed against your back and you felt him breathe in, suddenly you felt shy at the contact. But you weren't letting that stop you, he called out the notes as he began to play, hoping you were absorbing it all. You weren't. You were just in aw, he's so delicate with his fingers, it makes your heart flutter in amazement. 

“That was the first verse and chorus.” He announced, clearing his throat and slowly moving from behind you.

“Will I ever be able to play like that...” You mumbled, your tone didn't sound so promising and he quickly argued against that.

“You're very hardworking, there's no doubt in my mind that you would breeze through that, you have the gift...” He complimented, bringing a soft blush to your cheeks.

“Thank you...” 

“Actually, this'll be your homework. I'll give you the chords and notes so you can read it easily.” He pulled a note book and pencil from the bag on the table and wrote down the chords. He handed you the paper and you looked it over before sliding it in your bag.

 “Ok...Yoongi, um...” Low and incoherent was your attempt to speak, you chewed on your bottom lip, your hands were clammy and your nervousness was obvious.

“Yes?” 

“Tomorrow, my niece is having her first dance recital, I have an extra ticket but known of my friends can make it. If you're not busy or anything, would you like to come? It won't be long, maybe an hour or so...” 

“A dance recital?” Once again his expression was unreadable, you weren't sure if he was gonna say maybe or flat out say no; you just waited. “What time should I pick you up?” 

“You'll go?” He nodded and your smile grew wider “Ok, 5:45 is good...” 

He grabbed his bag and coffee from the table, “it's a date then,” He glanced down at his wrist, seeing the time, “sorry I have to cut the lesson short I have some work to do. I'll see you later.” With that he left you in the large music room by yourself.

A date?

Jaebum was getting ready to leave, you weren't sure where but he said he'd be back when he came back. One of his best friends sat in the chair next to you, he was scrolling through his phone but you caught him staring at you a few times. 

“What's the big ass cake for?” 

His head was in the fridge and you glared at him from the couch. “Don't touch it. That's for my neice, it's her first recital tomorrow.” 

“My house, my refrigerator, I can touch whatever I want, Y/N.” He scoffed.

“Don't! I'm serious!-” You jumped up from the couch to see him laughing, your face heated up in frustration. You would never understand him. “I can't stand you...” Throwing your blanket on the couch you went to the pantry, getting Cherries dog food. When you found the small bag you grabbed her dog bowl and filled it up half way, sitting against the wall.

“Come here, girl,” you made kissy noises and soon she was running to you from your room, his dad gifted this dog to you when him and your mom first started dating, you began to think she was his version of a bribe. When you stood to your feet and turned around you bumped into a tall figure. "Ah-"

“Jae asked me to get the chips from out of here.” He maneuvered around you, a smirk lingering on his lips as his eyes looked you up and down. 

“You know,” he spoke, looking through the shelves, “you're not as bitchy as Jaebum says. You're actually not bitchy at all.” He laughed, finally finding the bag of chips on the top shelf.

“He says that?” You frowned, crossing your arms in instinctive defense.

“Yep. He said ever since your parents got married-” He paused mid sentence. “well, I don't really want to say what he said...” 

“Y/N! Where the hell is the mail!”

He hissed front the living room, ripping through the papers on the table likea mad man.

“How am I supposed to know?” 

 Of course, he was blaming you for something he screwed up himself. Every month his ‘mommy dearest’ sent him a ridiculous check, you weren't sure of the exact total but you knew he could go without working and still live comfortably.

“I'm not kidding.” He harshly grabbed you by your forearm, making you wince.“Ow! That hurts!- Let go-”

“Where is it?” These we're the times you had to choose your fate, were you gonna tell him off, leave calmly and be the bigger person? You did neither. You just stared at him and calmly spoke.

“Let go, Jaebum.” You retorted with furrowed brows. His friend was getting uncomfortable by the argument that quickly turned physical.

“Or what...What’re you gonna do? Call your mom? She can’t do shit to me and neither can you.” He spat. “If your dad wouldn’t have fucking died, we wouldn’t be in this situation...Honestly, I wish you would've died with him.” At this point, his friend had excused himself from the scene, for it was far too painful to watch.

He could be so cruel.

You were trying your best not to cry, but with words like that, how could you not? Tears began to form and slowly fall down your cheeks. You felt smaller and even more helpless by the second.

Suddenly, he thought about it, he knew you’d make a big deal out of this if he didn’t let you go. “You cry over everything...” He slowly loosened his grip until you could yank away from him, your hand instantly went to your sore arm, knowing it must’ve bruised.

You ran out the front door, holding your arm and trying to keep yourself together. He knew your father was a touchy subject but he could obviously care less. You got into your car and drove off.

Wishing the earth would swallow you whole.

You found a fairly secluded area and parked.

A pitiful form, shaking erratically over a steering wheel was all you were right now. Your body ached at the emotional distress, you couldn't form a single train of thought anymore. Mind completely blank and heart as broken as ever; these feelings wouldn't come often, but when they did it was over. There was nothing anyone could say to help you. It was depressing...

*buzz* *buzz* 

You glanced at your phone screen and took a deep breath, it was your mother. If there were a set time for there to be a bad time to call people you were sure she new all the times. It kept buzzing... “Hi, mom.” 

She chirped. “Y/N! How're you honey?”

You let out a shaky breath before clearing your throat. “I'm good, I've just been busy...” You deadpanned, leaning back comfortably.

“How's Jaebum treating you? How's school?” 

“He's treating me fine, It's fine, schools fine- mom, you know, I um, I'm kind of busy right so...I'll call you later, ok?” You lightened your tone, hoping she'd get the signal.

“Of course, I'll talk to you later, I love you.” 

“I love you too...” You hung up, leaning against the window and resting your head in your hands, excepting the fate of this day, how could this day get any worse? Your phone rang again and this time you brought it to your ear before it could vibrate for the second time.

“Yes...” You sounded curt.

“Y/N?” The voice at the end of the phone sound surprised.

“Oh, Yoongi...” You inhaled deeply, softening your voice and attempting to shake the croaky sound.

“I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner after your nieces recital? Since we'll be out we might as well.” You were silent for a few seconds, letting his question sink in.

“Uh, y- yeah...that sounds nice.” You sniffled, wiping at your eyes and praying that your voice wasn't giving you away.

“Y/N...Are you crying? You sound like you're crying...” He sounded concerned.

“I'm not.” You coughed, trying to get rid of that groggy ‘just cried’ sound.

“You sound like it...”

“But I'm not...” it sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself rather than him. Silence fell and you weren't sure what he was gonna say, your palms were sweaty and you wanted nothing more than for him to hang up.

“Ok...” He paused. “But you still sound like it...” At this point there was no changing his mind; you were crying and he wanted- needed to know why. “Why're you crying? Tell me what happened...” He was concerned, worried even.

“Listen...I'm fine, don't worry about me....Um, I'll talk to you tomorrow...” There was a small protest from him before you hung up and threw your phone in the passengers seat.

Jaebum was nowhere to be seen, Cherry came jumping at your feet like usual, but right now you didn't have the energy to play. You threw yourself on the bed and laid pitifully on your comforter, just taking in the the silence of being home alone. As soon as you hung up with Yoongi he called back once more, when you didn't answer he resulted in texting you, asking if everything was ok and telling you he was beginning to worry. As kind and thoughtful as he was, you just couldn't do it. In your mind there was nothing to say, you were just having a hard time right now. There was nothing anyone could do about it. You've had tons of those, times where you just wanted it all to end, where there was nothing you want to do more than to disappear. The only difference about this time was that you didn't have the choice to be left alone. He kept trying to get to but you couldn't bring yourself to reply....When the texts and calls seized you had fallen fast asleep. After trying to get you to answer for a few hours he stopped, knowing the more he pushed the farther you'd go. But even then...

He couldn't stop worrying about you that night.