#laszlo being concerned about him acting different

[perfectlyzombiedmuffins]

no listen everyone talking about this is right. all guillermo has to do is renounce nandor as his master and be derek’s familiar for like two days to tell the vampires what happened. he’s turned to other masters before !! there was literally that whole plot in season three where he left and went to live with celeste and nandor went into a whole midlife crisis because of it

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

A Sensual Education - Laszlo Kreizler

I learned a lot about clits for this fic, didn't realize how much people (mostly men) hated them. Everyone, go touch your clits, treasure them, they deserve it after people like Freud wanted to get rid of them cause they were too insecure of themselves and scared of women🙃

Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI), typical 19th century ideology, misogyny, religious guilt, pining, innocence kink, fingering, virginity loss, soft dom!Laszlo, consent is sexy, flufffff

3.4K Words🤙🏻

~~~~~~~~~~

From an early age, you were always taught that anything do to with sex was a sin. You weren’t really told why but it was an unspoken moral rule. 

Women weren’t allowed to have sex until after marriage and if the man wants it. Women were for men’s pleasure and to make babies; that was it. From an early age, you were always doubtful of this but you were always too scared to make your concerns known.

You had asked your mother about it after you started your courses, but you were immediately shut down and scolded for even thinking such a thing. So every time you had a question or concern, you always had to push it down and you never spoke about it.

Once, you had heard, in the middle of the night, your mother with your father in their bedroom, it sounded like they were both in pain. You peaked inside their room and what you saw shocked you to your core. It was not in fact your mother, but it was your father with another woman. It looked painful. Why would someone engage in such acts if it was painful? It didn’t make sense.

From an early age, you were already seeing contradictions from everyone and you didn’t know what to believe.

One night, you tried touching yourself, just out of curiosity. It felt…different, but good. Though you were too scared and embarrassed to continue. Surely, you were going to hell for what you did. You prayed for forgiveness, and you never touched yourself again.

You knew it would probably bring shame upon you and your family, but you had always wanted to pursue a career in psychology. The mind was fascinating, and you had always wanted to figure out what causes people to do what they do; why they lie, why they hurt others, why they are so insistent on following old rules. Doctor Laszlo Kreizler had been looking for someone to intern for him. Despite being a woman, the doctor seemed happy to welcome you to his team.

It was very early on when you started to see Doctor Kreizler in a different light, one that you had not seen anyone before. He was very handsome, even your mother had confessed that to you privately. But it felt different this time. You had crushes before, but you never thought to act on them. You just figured that your parents would find you a man to marry and that would be that, but thankfully they weren’t that old fashioned. You were allowed to choose someone for yourself if you wanted, and you found that Laszlo was someone you wanted very badly. Just one small problem: he was your boss and you had no idea if he’d ever feel the same way.

You’d feel embarrassed every time you interacted with him, which was a lot. You would have to really concentrate whenever he was teaching you what to do with certain patients, and you managed well enough. Sometimes you’d sit in on one of his counseling sessions to see what he does and how he goes about it, but his voice was so mesmerizing that you’d forget exactly what he had been saying. It was debilitating, your crush, always feeling such yearning whenever he caught your gaze; but you had to move on. It definitely would not be professional if you acted on your sinful feelings to him. 

Your lust got even worse when Laszlo started to get more touchy feely with you. He wasn’t inappropriate of course, just lingering touches here and there whenever you did a good job with the patients; but that was more than enough for your fantasies to run wild with false hope that he might’ve liked you back. He even insisted you call him by his first name, before you always addressed him as Doctor Kreizler. He unknowingly was only fanning the flames of your infatuation.

Your crush just kept growing stronger and stronger.

Finally, one day, one of the doctor’s other employee’s told you that he needed to see you in his office later that day. You were instantly worried, thinking you may have done a bad job or worse, he had found out about your crush on him. But the employee said you had nothing to worry about, telling you that you were the fastest learner they had ever seen. It lessened your nerves…only slightly. You’d just have to find out for yourself.

You decided to go to his office early, otherwise you’d be worrying yourself to death and you didn’t care much for that. But when you arrived, the doctor wasn’t there. Serves you right for being impatient, you supposed.

You waited in Doctor Kreizler’s office, twiddling your thumbs and failing to calm your nerves. So instead, you decided to look around, despite knowing you shouldn’t, but you didn’t know what else to do. 

Scanning his bookshelves absentmindedly, you came across a particularly eye-catching name. Kama Sutra? You let out an audible gasp as you saw the cover on the front of the book. It was a man and a woman being…intimate with each other. You tried not to judge, but what kind of deviant would keep a book like this? Despite your initial horror, you couldn’t help but skim through the pages, feeling yourself growing uncomfortably hot at the words and illustrations. There were words on those pages that you didn’t even have a clue what they meant, but they felt dirty regardless.

You were so enraptured by all this new information that you didn’t notice Doctor Kreizler walk in. You all but jumped out of your skin as you heard him clear his throat, looking at you expectantly. “Oh, Lord, I am so sorry, Doctor. I was just waiting for you to get back but this caught my eye, I didn’t mean to pry, I promise.” You rambled with a slight stutter, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest when Laszlo took the book from you with a ghost of a smile. “Please, sir, don’t tell anyone I was looking at this, if my parents found out, they’d throw me on the streets! I’ll pray for forgiveness!”

Laszlo gently shook his head, patting your shoulder reassuringly. “It’s quite alright, it’ll stay between us. Please, you don’t have to put on the pious act for me.”

You furrowed your brow, tilting your head slightly in confusion. “An act, sir? What do you mean?”

“The whole pretending that you think every single thing pertaining to sex is sinful and immoral.” He said with a brittle chuckle.

“It…it’s not?”

Laszlo froze, his eyes scanning your face for any indication that you were playing up the innocent act, but he didn’t find anything about your expression that would lead him to believe that you were lying. Were you actually this innocent? “You’ve never been taught about sex before? Anything about it?”

Your cheeks felt like they had been lit aflame, you looked down, your hair hiding your face slightly. “It’s a sin, especially before marriage. The only reason to do it is if you want to have a child.” You recited from what you learned from your parents and pastor.

“God, is that what your parents taught you? Hypocrites. It’s ridiculous. Of course sex isn’t sinful.”

“But…what about touching oneself? Surely that’s a sin, right?”

“It’s a natural part of growing up. Everyone has done it, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Laszlo noticed your nervousness, the fiddling with your hands and your eyes anywhere but his. “Have you never touched yourself before? Never even tried?”

You bit your lip, rubbing your hand up your arm as you felt goosebumps start to rise. “Once, but it didn’t feel right…at all. I never tried again. I never should have done it in the first place.” You felt ashamed talking about this with someone as professional as Laszlo. He must’ve been so ashamed of you as well, you wished you never even set foot in his office. But what you didn’t know was Laszlo was feeling ashamed of himself for how lustful he felt all of a sudden. The thought that you had never experienced sexual pleasure made his pants feel way too tight in that moment, and he felt sorry for you, but not in a condescending way. It would be a risk for your professional relationship, but it was one he was willing to take.

You didn’t notice Laszlo walking closer to you until you felt his hand gently graze your hand that was nervously holding your other arm. You felt your heart skip a beat as you finally looked up at him, finding his eyes to be searching yours. His tantalizing stare felt like it was penetrating your soul, him being so close to you that you could see your own startled expression in his dilated pupils. “Do you want me to show you how it’s done?” Laszlo asked in a low tone, his voice almost gravelly, causing a shiver to run down your spine in anticipation.

You didn’t know why, but you suddenly felt a burning hot desire in your lower stomach, a slick wetness pooling at the apex of your thighs. Your expression reflected in his eyes turned from being startled to almost dazed. Out of anything he could’ve said, Laszlo surprised you with that. You wanted to say yes, so badly. But… “What will happen to me if I say yes?” You asked timidly, glancing down at his hand on yours.

“Nothing that you don’t consent to.” He smiled softly, but with your fearful expression, he realized what you actually were asking. “I promise, you’re not going to hell if you allow me to do this.”

You exhaled shakily. “Okay.”

Laszlo smiled, running his hand up to your shoulder and moving a piece of hair out of your face. “Sit on my desk and lift up your skirts for me please.” He instructed, and you obeyed nervously, feeling your whole body heat up as he watched intently as you exposed most of your legs to him. “Good girl.” You try not to squirm as Laszlo stood right next to you, feeling his breath on your neck as he lightly held you in place with his right arm and using his left hand to gently trail up your inner thigh, eliciting another shiver from you. “If I do anything that you don’t like or want to stop for any reason, just tell me and I’ll stop. Okay?”

You nodded. “Okay.”

You took a deep breath as Laszlo finally reached your aching cunt, exhaling sharply when his fingers made contact with your sex. “Spread your legs for me, my dear.” You gasped as he touched a spot that was particularly sensitive. “Is that painful?” He asked, but you quickly shook your head no. “This spot is called the clitoris, it’s the only human organ where its sole purpose is to provide pleasure. Isn’t that extraordinary?” He spoke huskily into your ear, causing goosebumps to rise all over your body, all while you were still struggling to keep still as he kept slowly rubbing circles on your clit. You wanted him to go faster, but all you could do was whimper pitifully as Laszlo started to kiss and nip at your neck. “How does that feel, Schatz?”

“G-Good…” You whimpered, “so good but…”

“What is it?”

“Can you…move a bit faster, please?” Laszlo smirked at your stuttering voice, finding your shyness adorable. Instead of giving you what you craved, he did the opposite, removing his hand from you and moving to stand in between your legs, spreading your legs even further. “What are you-? Oh!” You gasped as Laszlo slowly pushed one of his fingers inside you, the intrusion foreign but not entirely unwelcome…

“And how does this feel? Still good?” He asked, adding a second finger and gently thrusting into you, the stretch causing you to wince slightly but you didn’t want him to stop. You let out your first moan as he rubbed your clit with his thumb in tandem with his thrusts. “I assume that was a yes, hm?”

“Y-Yeah…” You moaned, your hips moving against his hand mindlessly, starting to feel pleasure building and building inside you. “Feels so good, Laszlo…” 

Laszlo lifted your chin with his other hand, forcing you to make eye contact with him. He wanted to see your face. He finally kissed you as he sped up his hand movements, swallowing your loud moans, a deep guttural groan escaping him as he felt your walls clench around his fingers. “You feel that pressure building in your body?” You nodded quickly, panting and moaning but you still tried to pay attention to what he was saying. “You’re getting close to what’s called an orgasm. It’s a feeling of euphoria when you reach the peak of sexual pleasure.”

“Are…are you getting close?” You stuttered.

Laszlo smiled, hiding a wince when his cock jumped in his pants. “I’m not the one getting pleasured, you are.” And as if right on cue, you felt yourself reach that peak and it was indescribable. Your body burned all over, but in a good way. You moaned loudly as you rode out that wave, gripping onto the doctor’s waistcoat for purchase. Your corset felt almost painful as your nipples hardened as you came, it felt all too restrictive. But you came down from that high, and you already wanted to feel it again. “Are you okay?” Laszlo’s soft deep voice brought you back to reality.

“Can…can you make me do that again?” You asked shyly, causing Laszlo to chuckle.

You winced as Laszlo lightly tapped your clit, the feeling almost too much to handle. “You’re too sensitive. Some people can’t come again right after because of the oversensitivity. But you might be ready to go again after several minutes.”

“But I want you to feel good too. I want you to…come.” You spoke timidly, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. He almost melted on the spot.

Laszlo frowned, shaking his head, trying to ignore his aching cock that was just crying out for stimulation. “I don’t want to hurt you. It might be too much, especially right now.”

“But I want you, Laszlo. I really do.” Laszlo didn’t say anything as you reached for the buttons on his pants, feeling guilty as he let you nervously palm his member through his trousers. “Please, I want you to be my first…”

Laszlo exhaled a shaky breath, grabbing your face and kissing you lightly with a frustrated growl. “First times for women can be painful…”

“I don’t care. I want you to show me what it’s like.” You begged, gently biting his bottom lip, doing everything in your power to let him know that you’d be okay.

Laszlo finally gave in, kissing you again with much more fervor, allowing himself to crave your touch. Your hands were all over him, messing up his perfectly styled hair and undoing the buttons of his waistcoat so you could feel more of him. You moaned as he squeezed your breasts through your dress, running his hands up and down your torso as you pulled his cock out of the confines of his pants. But he suddenly stopped, taking your hand away before speaking. “We’re going to take this slow, okay? If I hurt you, tell me and I’ll stop, okay?” He said seriously.

“Okay.”

Laszlo slowly rubbed the head of his cock in between your folds, you letting out small whines as he rubbed himself on your still overly sensitive clit. He looked into your eyes when he lined himself up with your entrance, silently asking for your approval. You nodded, holding onto his hand that was gripping your thigh.

His cock was much bigger than his fingers, that’s for sure. You let out a silent cry when he entered you, just his tip stretching you far more than his fingers. It was a burning pressure, but you still didn’t want him to stop. Despite the initial pain, it felt so natural for him to be inside you. You accepted him as best you could, him stilling inside you when he bottomed out. “Are you okay?” He asked, already panting from holding himself back.

“Yes, Laszlo, please. Keep going.” You and Laszlo both let out deep guttural groans as he started to thrust into you slowly, him keeping a firm grip on your thigh as he rocked his hips back and forth. Soon, you started to feel a new type of pleasure. It didn’t feel the same as when he was rubbing your clit, but whatever it was, it felt amazing. Every time Laszlo thrusted, the tip of his cock would hit that spot, making your eyes roll to the back of your skull. His slow thrusts weren’t enough now. You wanted more. You needed more. “Faster…please.” You whined, moving your own hips up to meet his.

“You sure?” It was sweet that he was always checking in, you appreciated it, but sweet wasn’t what you needed at that moment. You nodded vigorously, grabbing the collar of his shirt roughly and bringing him down to kiss you.

“Oh, my God-!” You gasped, moaning in his ear as he sped up his thrusts, his skin slapping against yours echoing around his office. “You feel so good.” You smiled tremulously, tears of overwhelming pleasure brimming your eyes. Laszlo’s grunting and soft moaning had to have been the prettiest sound you had ever heard, each others’ moans mixing together like a symphony. 

“You’re exquisite, my dear.” Laszlo breathed out, moaning every time he felt you clench around him, your velvety walls taking him in deep and holding on with a vice grip. “You’re doing so well…fuck.” He cursed, his cock twitching as he sped up even more, chasing his own release desperately, your pretty moans spurring him on. “I’m so close.” He voiced, his words coming out strangled, his hand tightening around yours, bringing it up and placing a light kiss on your knuckles.

“Do it, come. Please, come.” You whimpered, crossing your legs behind his back, not allowing him to remove himself from you, pulling him as close as possible. His heavy breaths and soft moans fanned across your skin as he neared his climax, placing sloppy kisses on your cheek and down your neck, his neatly trimmed beard scratching at your skin. You cried out as Laszlo started to rub your clit once more, desperate to feel you come around his cock. “Please, please…” You whined, not even sure what you were asking for. His circular motions on your clit paired with his cock roughly splitting you open over and over again was almost too much, but you fully relinquished yourself to him, happy to be used by someone you admired so much.

“Come for me again, Schatz. I want to feel you, please.” Laszlo moaned, speeding up his ministrations on your clit.

“Laszlo!” You squealed, your legs shaking uncontrollably as you reached that peak once more, falling limp in his arms as you rode out your second orgasm.

“Oh, Scheiße!” Laszlo stilled as you clenched around him, letting out a loud strained grunt as he finally released inside of you, coating your walls with his cum. He buried his head in your shoulder, panting heavily along with you, trying to steady his heartbeat. “Are…are you okay?” He asked nervously as he pulled out of you and stuffed himself back into his trousers, looking into your eyes with concern. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, no. You didn’t.” You shook your head, wearing a tired satisfied smile. “I really liked it.”

Laszlo let out a relieved sigh. “Good.” He said, wearing a lopsided grin, placing a short light kiss on the tip of your nose. He chuckled breathlessly, running a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t expecting the day to turn out like this…but I’m glad it did.”

“Me too.” You smiled timidly, but then you remembered something. “So, um, why did you want to see me in the first place?” You asked.

Laszlo chuckled nervously, gently caressing your cheek while a slight blush. “Oh, I was, uh.” He cleared his throat, “With how well you’re doing, I was going to ask you to work for the Institute officially. Paid and everything. But now…I want to take you out on a date too, if you’d allow me.”

“Really?” You beamed.

“Really.”

“I’d love that. Both. Both of those things. To work here and go on a date with you.” You rambled with a giggle, making Laszlo smile.

“Great…I suppose we should get back to work now.” He said reluctantly, holding onto your hips like he never wanted to let you go.

“I promise, I won’t let you regret hiring me.”

“I don’t think you could make me regret anything, my dear.”

~~~~~~~~~~

back on my bullshit (aka, i'm obsessed with Daniel again). nobody talk to me.

[cookinguptales]

I have genuinely been too sad to talk about Colin Robinson much, but it’s been a few days and I am blearily clinging to my coffee so let’s give this a try.

Like many of you, I am intrigued by the hints that Colin Robinson at least subconsciously remembers his time being raised by Laszlo. The way he smiled when Laszlo talked about going to see the rhinos, His genuine concern for Laszlo’s health when he’s asking about stroke symptoms. His newfound interest in home renovation. And obviously, the way he was humming “Rap Tap On Wood” as he walked away.

I don’t think that Colin consciously remembers anything; despite his tendency to fuck with the vampires, I really don’t think that’s going on here. I think he was genuinely confused when Laszlo was asking him about their former life together. To me, it feels more like the slight hints we’d see in Baby Colin that he had remnants of Colin Robinson in him, like the fact that Rap Tap On Wood sounds so similar to the theme song of his favorite show that they only show in the hotel room in Atlantic City. Or the whole hammering walls thing.

It seems that in some ways, Colin Robinson’s mind works like a computer that makes backups. By using his own detailed notes, he’s able to upload prior existences of himself and add onto it with each lifetime. That said, he’s only able to upload the memories that were recorded, which is why he loses his memories of himself as a child -- and why you should make regular backups of your computer. (I say, not doing that.)

Moreover, it seems to be implied that the act of getting back these memories made him into the person that he is. He physically transformed into Colin Robinson as he got back the memories of that lifetime. Some of this is probably a metaphor for loss of innocence (particularly the hair thing) and the way that our personalities are nothing but a collection of decisions, experiences, and memories, but it also seems like these memories fundamentally make up what he is. Laszlo was right; he was a different person when he was Baby Colin. He didn’t physically become Colin Robinson until he gave up his memories of Colin Robinson and uploaded the old version of himself.

(This also implies that this was his first time going through this cycle; he still only has 100 years of memories despite it being canon that he continues on uninterrupted after the... I guess we’ll call it pupal cycle. That is, unless this is just the first lifetime that he’s attempted to take notes. It’s difficult to tell if the note-taking is an innate energy vampire instinct or if it’s a quirk of Colin specifically. Or hell, even just this lifetime specifically.)

But, unlike a computer, it seems that even when he’s in a new body, even when his brain is unformed, even when his fledgling powers seem to mostly steal energy from those around him without his knowledge, there are still events that leave indelible echoes on his psyche. Like the journals. Like his time with Laszlo.

I think to some degree, it’s probably a metaphor... Human children are all energy vampires. They soak up love and frustration and every bit of energy their parents have for a while in order to properly grow. But there’s also this through line in the entire season of fatherhood and how your childhood affects who you become as an adult even if you don’t want it to. Sean, Laszlo, and Guillermo all show signs of serious damage due to their upbringing and lack of a good father figure, and it affects how all three of them deal with Colin.

So then we have Colin (who has almost become an absentee child, a whole other meta right there) who insists that Laszlo’s (and Guillermo’s) parenting has had no permanent affect on him... but who shows clear signs of being influenced anyway. Just like Sean, Laszlo, and Guillermo, he cannot help but be affected by his childhood as an adult, even if he cannot remember it. Even if, like all children becoming adults, he has grown out of his old toys and old bed and old relationships, a part of them will be lodged in his personality forever.

I’m really curious to see if they interact more with the ideas they’ve brought up here. Like, Laszlo is canonically skilled at helping people recover lost memories. He already did it for The Guide. Is he going to try to make Colin remember what he forgot? Is he willing to let sleeping dogs lie?

Hell, for that matter, was it all the physical experiments he did on Colin’s still-forming brain that made it so Colin could remember him at all...? I know what strobe lights are used for, Laszlo!

idk, this is a bit rambling, I’m still a bit worn. I’m still going to answer the asks I got on this subject to try and help narrow my thoughts down a little. But yeah, these are some of my initial impressions. I’m... probably going to write about this a lot. lmao

[2offayyo-kzt]

Ok I notice recently a lot of hate towards Nandor and Laszlo

It's understandable, they both act like assholes..

But they are not humans, they've been dead for centuries, they don't interact with the human world anymore (or very briefly)

And are no longer confronted with the morals and mores of human society :

So yes Nandor treats Guillermo like shit, but I mean logically Guillermo (if he didn't have feelings for Nandor and a Stockholm syndrome) should have left this home long ago

So given that Guillermo always comes back, why should Nandor behave any differently

He is a vampire, who is constantly around vampires (who are seriously lacking in morals) so yes Nandor can be relentless and inconsiderate

Moreover, Nandor is making notable progress with Guillermo in the last few episodes

//

And concerning the education of baby Colin by Laszlo, yes it is questionable and cruel, he clearly prevents his son to have his own interests...

But I remind again that his son is developing the same personality as his dead friend Colin Robinson (which can be disturbing to see, I mean)

So maybe he's doing his best to get his son to develop a different personality

And then honestly Laszlo still manages to be tender with Colin (we are talking about the same guy who turned a baby into a vampire and gave birth to orphans when he was human)

Laszlo has always lacked morals, and he's going to get a setback when baby Colin will not stand being treated like this anymore

And this will be the occasion for him to question himself

That was just to remind people that Laszlo and Nandor lost their "humanities" a long time ago and that over the seasons we can still see an improvement

They are emotionally constipated vampires who are making progress despite the fact that they still need to work on themselves

[mypoisonedvine]

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞 ❧ you and Laszlo are different in many ways, some harder to ignore than others, but you share one latent predicament: affection.

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙 ❧ 3.1k

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 ❧ angst, kinda smut? (just male masturbation), alpha/omega social dynamics (including sexism against omegas), laszlo being a huge asshole, brief violence, mutual pining, really just so much pining

⇥ 𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 ⇤

Cardamom. Fresh-cut grass. Something sweet, like honey or fresh wine; something he couldn’t quite make out.

He recognized it instantly as the smell of you, and it made him grimace as he stood up from his couch. When you’d been over yesterday to discuss a case of his, he had honestly contemplated not letting you sit on or touch anything, anticipating this exact issue. But he had been too considerate to say anything and now your horridly wonderful stench was all over the place.

“Mary!” he called out into the house, and she thankfully appeared quickly. “Would you take these cushions from the sofa and… clean them, somehow?”

She nodded, stepping past him to start gathering them in her arms, and he watched her with narrowed eyes.

Truth was, he would rather never have to spend time near omegas when avoidable. It was a distaste he preferred not to voice since many people, alphas and betas alike, discriminated against omegas. Laszlo’s issue was not with some foolish notion that omegas were less worthy of respect, or too emotional or whatever offensive stereotype one might conjure. Rather, his concern lied less in any prejudice against the omegas themselves and instead in his own fears about being an alpha.

He wasn’t blind to the way being an alpha gave him a certain advantage in society, but if he’d had it his way he would’ve been able to avoid presentation entirely and be a beta. Betas were, for their potential blandness, much more… predictable. And Laszlo had never taken issue with the idea of being boring and predictable.

Alphas, on the other hand, had a habit for being a bit primitive. Especially when they were around other alphas… and especially when they were around omegas. It was no wonder that he barely had any idea how to act around you; it was like the composed, educated, respected man disappeared, leaving the mind and body to fend for themselves as he tried simply not to make a fool of himself.

Some omegas might like an alpha acting that way, but you weren’t as frivolous as those sort; and even if you were, he certainly wouldn’t debase himself to impress you.

Would I? he was forced to wonder.

He scoffed to himself, realizing this was exactly the internal monologue he had been hoping to avoid in the first place. This was why he couldn’t be running around with an omega, even if ‘running around’ was more like sitting and discussing neuropsychiatric disorders.

It was a shame that he liked you so much, that you always had such insightful things to say, or he could just do away with you for good. Maybe it had gotten so bad now that he would do it anyways, but you were an invaluable partner now in his investigation, and he was seeing more and more of you, hearing more of your gentle voice which seemed to stir his soul effortlessly.

And smelling more of you… that damn scent that he couldn’t seem to shake. The only thing he feared more than catching a whiff of it in his home unexpectedly, was to never breathe the scent of you again.

When Mary had all the cushions in a haphazard pile and turned to step away, he found himself reaching out and opening his mouth to speak. “Wait,” he blurted out before he could stop it, and Mary turned with her brow raised expectantly. “I’ll just… take this one,” he mumbled awkwardly, plucking a small cushion from the top of her pile. “For safekeeping.”

She nodded, but he caught her smirking a little as she turned and walked away with the rest. Of course she knew, and he cursed himself for being so obvious with his fickle emotions; but then again, a woman as perceptive as Mary was bound to find out sooner or later… she said nothing, but saw everything.

Or, almost everything. He made sure to lock his bedroom door and wait until the entire house was asleep before holding the stolen cushion tight to his chest in bed that night, to make sure no one would see his humiliating predicament, his juvenile obsession.

When he closed his eyes and ran his hands over the cushion’s embroidered fabric, he could almost pretend it was your dress, he could almost imagine holding you like this.

But he’d hold you even tighter. He’d never let you go.

It was honestly a bit ridiculous that he already had an erection from only this, but his imagination was running wild and his body wasn’t so far behind. He knew if he opened his eyes, it would remind him how pathetic this all was and he would likely stop himself. So, instead, he forced his eyes to squint shut even harder as he slipped his left hand down the front of his pyjama trousers.

A strict regimen of rut suppressants meant that he almost never had to resort to this, opting to ignore any tension rather than relieve it. But this time, when his hand wrapped around the throbbing base of his cock, it felt better than he remembered; though still nothing compared to what he was imagining.

He wanted to be buried inside you, so deep your eyes would roll back a bit. He wanted to kiss your neck until you were breathing those pretty little sighs of yours that he'd heard from time to time.

Though he'd never bedded an omega in his somewhat sparse sexual experience, he knew from his studies that omegas were uniquely sensitive, especially to an alpha. He could hardly dare to imagine how it would feel if he made you come; surely it would be too perfect to do anything but knot you right away, and just the thought of that made his cock flex against his grip.

“Omega,” he mumbled to himself, wondering how it would feel if you called him Alpha in the same way; that might be enough to almost make him like being an alpha, for once.

Because really, he hated it so desperately, with such a passion. He hated being ruled by instinct, even if he managed to overcome it the overwhelming majority of the time (this moment notwithstanding). He hated craving something that he didn’t know how to get and that no one wanted to give to him. He hated that being an alpha meant being expected to be strong and dominating and aggressive when he was nothing like that. Even if he had moments of weakness that brought out his more instinctual side, he could never be strong with only one good arm; he could never protect you like you deserved. He could never hold you as tight as he dreamed to.

He could never be your alpha. But maybe he could indulge in his fantasy for just a few moments longer...

Perhaps you shouldn’t have put so much time into selecting your outfit, or you wouldn’t have been a quarter hour late past when Dr. Kreizler asked you to arrive at the Institute. As you scurried down the hall, trying not to walk too loudly since your heels echoed through the corridor, you just hoped he wouldn’t notice or say anything about it.

When you stepped through his office door, everyone— Sara, John, the Isaacsons, and Laszlo himself— looked up to stare at you.

“Ah, I was wondering if you intended to arrive at all,” Laszlo frowned.

“Well, I—” you began.

“It’s no matter, just shut the door behind you and try to keep up with the discussion,” he interrupted, turning around to write on the chalkboard again.

You nodded awkwardly, catching a sympathetic smile from John, before listening to the Doctor pick up where he left off.

Laszlo continued to be uncharacteristically curt with you— well, it wasn’t so uncharacteristic, but it was even worse than normal— throughout the entire meeting, regularly undermining your suggestions if not directly interrupting them, dismissing your ideas as fantastical or preposterous.

The others seemed to notice, in fact it seemed to make them similarly uncomfortable, but nobody thought to say anything and you spent the better part of an hour biting your lip to keep from either crying or cursing him.

You were relieved when Laszlo finally dismissed the team; you were the first to turn for the door, in fact, more than ready to get out of this nightmare of an office, but Laszlo addressed you specifically by name as the others filed out of the room.

“Yes?” you answered, noticing John nonchalantly hanging behind as well.

“Next time, try presenting some reasonable ideas, why don’t you?” Laszlo suggested to you sharply.

“Leave off,” John warned Laszlo, who didn’t even turn his attention away from you for a moment, though he did seem to heed the warning regardless as he cooled off slightly.

“It’s no matter,” Laszlo decided flippantly, “I shouldn’t have expected much else— it’s in your nature.”

You swallowed thickly, hearing John scoff at your side. “C’mon, let’s go,” he encouraged you quietly yet firmly. You gave Laszlo one shy glance, but he’d already turned to examine some papers on his desk, ignoring you completely.

“Goodbye, Doctor,” you mumbled sheepishly, turning and following John out the door and out of the Institute.

When you reached the street, you were prepared to start walking on but John held your arm gently. “Your apartment isn’t far from my grandmother’s house, why don’t we share a cab?” he offered.

You considered turning him down simply because you had been looking forward to a chance to wallow alone, but as he looked down at you, you realized you were better off with the company of a friend. “All right,” you nodded, “that would be lovely, thank you.”

John was able to flag a buggy down and was kind enough to help you in before following behind you, sitting across from you as you looked out the small window.

“Pay no mind to the Doctor,” John decided to offer as he interrupted the silence. You thought maybe he would just distract you with small talk, so you were surprised when he got right to it. “He’s always this irritable.”

“I just can’t imagine why he’s so irritated by me,” you sighed, hoping to regulate your tone to just somber and not heartbroken.

“I can,” John chuckled, and you shot him a glare.

“You’re agreeing that I’m irritating?” you confirmed, incensed, and he looked back at you with a slightly condescending smile.

“Not at all. It’s just that there are things about alphas that omegas can never properly understand.”

You rolled your eyes. “Because our minds are too simple, right?” you pressed sarcastically.

“No, no, not that,” he defended, getting a bit more serious. “You know I’m not the type to think those things about omegas; Doctor Kreizler certainly isn’t. I just mean, it can be difficult to explain.”

“Well, use that big alpha brain of yours and give it a shot, why don’t you?” you encouraged, crossing your arms incredulously.

“All right, don’t get upset with me,” he soothed. “Nobody who really understood alphas would ever accuse them of being logical, that’s the thing. Alphas certainly want you to think that, but… we’re really not so rational at all.”

You raised your eyebrow, confused, and he sighed.

“I mean, I suppose we can be, I know I try my best… but I think we both know that I have a few of my own vices.”

John did certainly seem to have a reputation with prostitutes, mostly betas but some omegas as well. Some mornings you could smell them on him still; and it made you appreciate that maybe a man like Laszlo wasn’t only putting on the appearance of solitude.

“Betas are really the only ones who have their heads on straight, the way I see it,” John decided. “I mean, think of Sara. Do you think before she does something, she wonders what omegas will think when she does it? Or what alphas will think?”

You chewed your lip. “No, I suppose not.”

“No matter what alphas try to tell you about how they’re the better sex, ultimately all we can ever really do is worry about omegas. And, I won’t speak for you, but I think the reverse may be true as well.”

“So… that behavior there, in his office, that was him… worrying about me?” you concluded.

“I think it worries him that he worries for you,” John specified, smiling like he’d said something profound.

But you were unimpressed, and you made that plenty clear by sighing and leaning back against the seat of the buggy. It was a long ride home, your mind racing with reimaginings of how Laszlo had spoken to you and what a more outspoken version of yourself might have done, but you had to admit that even in silence it was better with John nearby.

Perhaps even preferably in silence.

You waited a few days, hoping to find your mood improving, but it only seemed to get worse. Each day you thought about Laszlo— everything about Laszlo, annoyingly enough, but especially the inconvenient fact that he couldn’t stand you.

John apparently had his own theory about it. He seemed to imply that Laszlo had some underlying attraction to you, something he could help as an alpha dealing with an omega— and while that idea made your heart skip a beat, it seemed too good to be true. He would’ve said the same thing if Laszlo was kind to you, wouldn’t he? So what difference does it make?

No matter the cause, you didn’t want to leave it unaddressed any longer. That was what compelled you to drop in at Dr. Kreizler’s home one foggy and grey evening— the kind where one could smell the incoming rain in the air even without an omega’s keen senses— knowing he wasn’t at the Institute this time of day.

Mary let you in, showing you to the living room to wait for him; you would’ve sat on the couch, but you noticed all the cushions were missing with a befuddled expression. Mary seemed a little amused by your confusion before she left to return to some task in the back garden, and so you just let your eyes wander over the room to pass the time. Laszlo’s collection of books was impressive, of course, as were the bottles of medications and salves stored in shelves. You noticed rut and heat suppressants among them, and you were pleasantly surprised since heat suppressants were often considered to be controversial— a form of birth control, in the eyes of many, and therefore often thought of as sinful. But of course a man like Laszlo wouldn’t think of things that way; you admired his progressiveness.

You turned from the shelf when you heard him enter the room; he seemed surprised to see you, understandably. “I apologize that I didn’t call first, but I wanted to discuss something with you,” you explained.

“Something you couldn’t call to discuss?” he presumed, making you frown.

“Well, yes, or I would’ve called. You know, Laszlo, this may surprise you but I actually don’t try to irritate you,” you explained, already losing a bit of your patience.

You didn’t often call him by his first name, not to his face at least. Apparently, he didn’t care much for it. “It must come to you naturally then,” he nodded.

“Then why do you keep me on the case? If I’m so frustrating and fundamentally unhelpful?” you interrogated. You expected an immediate response, but he stammered over his words for a moment.

“Well—” he began, stopping to sigh and glance at the window. “Is it especially hot out today?”

“Um, no,” you answered, confused. “It’s rather temperate.”

When he looked at you again, something had changed in his expression. “Oh,” he sighed, “you— you should go.”

“Doctor, you haven’t answered my question,” you reminded him firmly.

“Yes, I’ll tell you another time, but I have matters to attend to,” he rushed, starting to look a bit unwell as he coughed and started fuss with his tie.

“Are you all right?” you asked, stepping closer and seeing him step back in turn— but he tripped, trying to catch himself with his weak arm and failing completely. He hit the floor with a hiss, dark brown hair falling out of its style and into his face as he grunted in pain.

“Doctor!” you gasped, running to him as your heart pounded. “What’s wrong?”

But in your heart, you knew. In fact, it wasn’t just your heart but your whole body that told you it was his rut. He looked to be in such pain, panting and tugging at his stiff collar, face already turning a bit red.

“Laszlo,” you sighed, reaching down and starting to kneel with him, but he slapped your hands away.

“Get out,” he breathed, ragged and dark.

“No, you need help,” you asserted, reaching for him again and nearly screaming with shock when he jumped up and roughly shoved you back.

“How dare you say no to me, in my own home, like I am your inferior?” he snarled. “Get out!”

“I… I can help you…” you whispered shakily, trying not to cry, unable now to save your dignity as your caring omega instincts kicked in— as well as your latent desire.

“And what makes you think I want your help? Have I not made what I want abundantly clear?” he bellowed, storming closer to you as you fumbled backwards. “Leave here, and don’t come back.”

Even with tears in your eyes and fear coursing through you until your hands began to shiver, you softly shook your head. “N-no, Laszlo, I won’t… I won’t leave you like this.”

For a moment, you thought he might relent, considering the way his expression softened. But just as quick as it came, it shifted to seething rage again and you didn’t even know what hit you for a moment— it was the back of his hand, striking your cheek so hard you almost fell to the floor, though you just barely managed to keep your balance.

It was only a brief moment that the two of you stood there, you holding your cheek as tears fell straight from your eyes to the hardwood beneath you while he just glared at you, chest heaving; but it felt like an eternity.

You couldn’t find the strength to meet his gaze again before you spun on your heel and scampered away, picking up your skirt with one hand and wiping your tears shakily with the other.

Fighting not to spare a glance back at him, you shoved the front door open and ran out into the sheets of freezing rain, finally taking the time to properly sob as you made a mad dash for the only address you knew for John Moore.

[tricksters-captain]

Helmut Zemo imagines - Hostage Part 1

AN: I came up with this idea for a series in the shower and I hope you guys are as intrigued by it as I am. Also I’m aware it’s posted later than I said but I’m a perfectionist and couldn’t post it until I was happy with it!! To make up for it, I have some Laszlo Kreizler smut coming up soon for you Alienist fans. 

Summary: You were chosen as one of Karli’s elite. You became a super soldier to help your cause, make the world a better place but taking the serum came with a price. After being cornered one day, you’re taken by the famous Helmut Zemo to give him answers or face the consequences. 

In This Chapter: Introductions. You are sent on a mission for Karli, only for it to turn bad. 

Pairing(s): Zemo x Fem!Reader, Karli Morganthau x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 2,703

Warnings: Spoilers for TFATWS, violence, strong language 

You stared back at the burning building as the truck pulled away. 

Despite the rumbling of the thick tires on the tarmac beneath you, you could hear the screaming. 

“Hey.” DeeDee placed a hand on your shoulder and tugged you round. “Don’t look.” 

You could see in her eyes that she was just as shocked as you were but was trying to hide it.

The task had been to remove as many supplies as possible from the GRC depot to take back to the camps in Riga. There had been no mention of bombing the place. 

Lennox’s eyes met yours in the rear-view mirror. You were all thinking the same thing. 

Why would Karli go through with something that hadn’t even been discussed?

“Turn here. It’s faster.” DeeDee leant forward pointing towards a more narrow alley as fire engine sirens echoed up ahead. 

Lennox did as suggested and the others followed close behind. 

It wasn’t a long drive from Vilnius to Riga but you all stopped when daylight broke to take some time to eat something. 

You sat down beside Diego, your eyes flickering to Karli every few minutes as she dished out supplies for you all. 

She noticed. 

“(Y/n).” Karli remained standing as she handed out the last can to Dovich. 

You took the hint and rose to your feet. 

You followed her to the side of the abandoned structure as the others tried to tune the radio. 

“What’s the problem?” Karli asked you, a hard expression across her features.

“What’s the problem?” You couldn’t help but scoff at the question. “Karli, you blew up a building with people still tied up inside.” 

“I did what I had to do. It’s the only language these people understand. You saw just how much food, water and medicine they were sitting on. If we had a fraction of that just a few months ago Mama Donya might still be alive.” You could see the tears Karli was trying to suppress as she spoke of Mama Donya.

“You still should’ve consulted us before you went ahead with it. We’re better than an eye for an eye and you know that.” You cautiously took her hand into yours to try and comfort her. “We’re trying to make a difference here.”

“And that is how we do it.” She dropped your hand as she defended her actions. You shook your head but didn’t retaliate. You knew there was no use in arguing with her in that moment. 

“There’s something I need you to do after Mama Donya’s funeral today.” Karli was quick to change the topic. “A mission for you and DeeDee.” 

“What is it?” You asked, folding your arms across your chest. 

“I need you to go to these coordinates immediately after the funeral. One of our allies will be expecting you both. He has information and something I need. It’ll be a parcel, small enough to conceal so you can make your way back to us without any suspicion.” Karli texted over the coordinates and the information on the contact. 

“How can you be sure it’s safe?” You asked as you studied his profile. 

“I wouldn’t send you if it wasn’t.” Karli paused before she wrapped her hand around the back of your neck and brought your forehead to hers. “We have to stick together now more than ever.” 

You closed your eyes and exhaled a shaky breath. 

“One world.” You muttered. 

“One people.”Karli pulled away just as Dovich called over to you both. 

They had managed to get the radio to work. 

You sat down and opened a can of fruit slices to try and quench your hunger. 

“The depot that was bombed was funded and run by the GRC, the Global Repatriation Council. One of the workers killed was the father of two and had only been on the job for one week. After condemning this latest action by the radical group known as the Flag Smashers, the GRC formally began drafting legislation known as The Patch Act, which would seek to restore traditional border regulations and fast-track the return to normalcy. The act of violence has also brought attention and followers to the Flag Smasher cause. No one can deny the world-wide reach of this group is growing, as is the danger.”

You shared a look with Gigi and Dovich as you listened to the broadcast. Your stomach churned at the mention of the father. You swallowed hard as you placed your food down. 

Karli parted from the group again, feeling the pressure of the eyes on her, but you chose not to follow. 

You had known Karli for 3 years. You met in Riga and became close quickly. You both had lost everything and then you had each other. When she took off to Madripoor, you followed. She always knew how to get people to see things her way, she had a spark inside of her that drew in those who wanted to fight for something; she was powerful for 19. She only grew more powerful with the serums. 

You had backed her and supported her from the start but something was twisting. Something was going sour. You had never killed innocents before but in Karli’s eyes; was anyone on the side of the GRC innocent?

“Finish up. We need to get to the border in time to meet our contact.” Karli strode past the group and didn’t stop until she climbed into one of the cars. 

You cleaned up after yourselves, leaving no trace that you were there, before you got back on the road. 

You were back in Riga soon enough, your contact at the border let you through without any issues and you made it to the checkpoint with all the supplies safely. 

Fortunately, you still had time to spare before Donya’s funeral. 

You remained hidden, on the low, whilst Karli went with Nico to pick up the leftover serums. 

You had previously spoken about creating more super soldiers. You had been against it. There were more than enough of you for the moment and the process of turning into one was beyond any pain you’d ever felt. You didn’t think more people needed to go through that. However, the vote passed and more were to be created. 

“You ready?” Karli asked you as she returned. You nodded. 

You headed to the secret location of Mama Donya’s funeral and fell into the crowd as the body came into sight. Mama Donya had been important to Karli and therefore important to you. She had been a kind woman. Kind to you. But Karli had a bond with her that you didn’t. This was Karli’s time to heal, to grieve, to help those who also relied on Donya. 

You watched Karli step up to say a few words. 

“I don’t remember my mother or my father. Same goes for siblings, grandparents, cousins. What I do remember is being alone. Worse than being hungry or cold or scared. I was alone. Until Mama Donya. Like a lot of you here, Mama Donya saved me. She clothed me, fed me, loved me.” You followed Karli’s eye line when she gasped softly. 

It was Sam Wilson. Avenger. 

You felt your blood go cold. Usually where there was one avenger, there were sure to be more. 

“She taught me that we have to do for each other because they won’t. And we know who they are. They imposed struggle and hardship on us, then labeled us as criminals for pushing back. But the struggle is what brings us all together. People who have nothin’ in common. For we are, after all, simply one world and one people. So live accordingly.”

As you stepped forward and placed your bouquet of flowers down beside Donya, Karli clasped hold on your wrist. 

“Go now.” She whispered under her breath. 

“What about you?” You asked. 

“I’ll be fine. Get to the contact.” Karli tried to assure you but you weren’t certain on leaving her. Dovich guided you away to stop you from arguing with Karli about it. He told you that he was going to stay behind to help Karli and that you had a more important job to do right now. 

You had to give in and leave. 

As you made your exit, you grabbed DeeDee and the keys to the motorbike outside. 

“We gotta make a detour. Make sure we aren’t being followed.” You announced as you climbed onto the motorbike. 

“Karli said our guy would wait for us so it’s better to be safe than sorry. We can’t mess this up.” DeeDee agreed with you as she placed herself behind you. 

You took off down the street and did your best to lose any tails. 

You ended up ditching the bike and moving underground once you were sure you were alone. 

You were either really lucky or they had only brought enough backup to deal with Karli. 

“We should be close.” You checked your phone to read the GPS before placing on your mask. 

DeeDee held the flashlight up as you worked your way through the empty tunnel. 

“You’d think Karli could organise a rendezvous point somewhere a little less musty.” DeeDee grimaced as a trio of rats scattered past you both. 

“This is the safest way. We may have gained a lot of supporters above ground but we have a lot of enemies too.” You tried to defend Karli’s choice but even you had to admit that the sewers were a low point for you all. 

“You think she got away okay?” DeeDee asked, the concern obvious in her voice despite her blank expression. 

“I think Karli’s smart and she wouldn’t stick around if she knew she couldn’t win.” You may have been anxious for her but you rarely had doubts with Karli. Even without the serum she always managed to slip through the cracks. 

As you continued to make your way through the tunnels, you spotted a silhouette up ahead. 

You narrowed your eyes as DeeDee shone her light on him. 

Fortautely, it was your contact.

“Greetings.” The man smiled widely at you both. He wore a bright head torch that stopped you from looking him in the eye and a large forest green coat. 

“We’re here to collect the parcel and information for Karli.” DeeDee informed him, shading her eyes from his light as she tried to lift her gaze. 

“Yes. Yes. I know.” The short man pulled out a small object wrapped in brown paper from under his coat. “Karli said you would be coming.” 

As the man spoke, you heard something splash in the water behind you. 

“What was that?” You asked, looking back to see if you could spot anything. 

“It was probably just one of the rats.” DeeDee tried to assure you but the hairs on the back of your neck began to stand up. 

You had a bad feeling about it. 

“I’m going to check it out.” You whispered to her. “Better safe than sorry.” You repeated what she had said earlier. 

“Be careful.” DeeDee handed you her flashlight before letting you go. 

You crept back round the corner from whence you had came. You remained close to the wall to avoid any oncoming intruders head on. Peering down into the water, you saw that it had been in fact just a rat that was now paddling through the sewage. 

“It's okay.” You relaxed, shouting ahead so they could hear you. “It was just a ra–––” You were cut short by a gloved hand covering your mouth. 

You sent your elbow backwards instinctively which threw your attacker into the wall. 

You spun around to see a figure dressed in a lavish coat with a purple mask covering his face. You furrowed your eyebrows at his appearance. You didn’t recognise him as an Avenger. 

He came towards you, sending a fist to the side of your head. You managed to block his attack, kicking him in the chest. 

You thought he’d be no match for you with your enhanced powers but he managed to put up a good fight. 

He wrestled with you against the wall as he gained the advantage. You resorted in head butting him to get him off you. 

You sent your leg up into his side but he wrapped his arm around your calf and yanked you forward. You lost your balance as he grip moved, hooking under your knee. He squeezed your thigh against him as he pulled out a rather large syringe. 

“DEE! RUN!” You managed to howl before the needle sunk into your thigh. 

You tried to fight again as he dropped your leg but your vision became patchy and your balance began to sway. 

Not to your knowledge, he had injected as much tranquilliser into you as one would a tiger. Your enhanced abilities wouldn’t help you with that, you were soon out cold. 

--

The stars shone above you as you and Karli laid back on the bonnet of the car. 

“I genuinely believe that you could be the one to change things, Karl.” You said as you munched down on the chocolate bar she had gifted you. 

“What are you on about?” Karli furrowed her eyebrows through her smile as she turned her head to face you. 

“I mean look what you did for my birthday, just using your powers of persuasion.” You smirked.

“Persuasion isn’t enough to change things.” Karli disagreed. 

“You’re right but right now, people need someone to look up to. Half the world is gone and hope isn’t something that's easy to come by anymore.” You stated. 

“And you think that person could be me?” Karli scoffed at the idea. 

“I think you could do anything you wanted if you put your mind to it.” You broke off a piece of chocolate and handed it to her. 

“I think you’re spending too much time around Mama Donya.” Karli took the chocolate and popped it in her mouth. 

“We’ll see who’s right one day.” You mused with a small smile. Karli rolled her eyes before trying to steal another piece. “Hey! It’s my birthday present!” 

--

When your eyes finally opened, you realised you were no longer in the sewers. 

You were standing but your hands were up above your head, chained to the wall behind you and a large metal strip was around your neck also. You desperately tried to search your surroundings through your mask but the restraints stopped you from moving much. 

The room was dark, no windows, a few dim lights dotted around caused the room to seem almost a brown colour and there was little furniture. 

You would’ve been a fool if you didn’t noticed the gun on a small table off to the side as well as the medical equipment glistening on a tall metal cart. 

Your head throbbed and your mouth held the metallic taste of blood. You tugged at your wrist restraints to test their strength and to your luck they were holding. 

“You’re awake.” You heard a thick accented voice when you stopped rattling your chains. “Good.” 

The possessor of the voice, your kidnapper, stepped into light and you clocked who it was immediately. 

It was Baron Helmut Zemo. 

Zemo could not see your face as he had left the mask on you but he could tell from your eyes that you knew who he was. 

“I bet you are wondering why you are here. Tied up in this basement.” Zemo started. “Let’s start with introductions, shall we?” 

You remained silent.

“My name is Helmut Zemo––”

“––I know who you are.” You retorted. 

“Then you know what I am capable of.” Zemo glared at you for the interruption. His hands finding his pockets as his eyes settled on your own. 

“I know you’re going to kill me.” You knew of what happened with the Avengers. You knew of Siberia and the destroyed soldiers. You knew of his hate. 

“I’m not going to kill you.” Zemo wagged his finger at you. “Not yet at least. No. We have a few things I’d like to discuss first.”

“Like what?” You scowled at the man. 

“Like the whereabouts of Karli Morgenthau.” 

(PART 2 HERE)

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[lesbian-in-leather]

So I was watching Too Hot to Handle (it's awful but I like laughing at straight people don't judge me) and I was like... what if the WWDITS characters were on this show

(If you haven't seen THtH, the concept is that a bunch of hot, horny and single people rock up on an island and then are told they aren't allowed to kiss, fuck or touch themselves - when they inevitably break the rules a lil robot deducts money from the final shared prize fund. They also all have to sleep in the same room and must share a bed with someone else)

Either as a Human AU or just a normal 'they're vampires' but slight plot AU, here's how I think it'd go:

Nadja, Laszlo and Jeff!Gregor are there from the start

Guillermo is the narrator who judges all of their choices and DEFINATELY has a thing for Nandor

In a Human AU he doesn't know them and is just SUPER creeped out and intrigued. He also questions why no one else is concerned by the red flags they all keep throwing out in every conversation

In a Plot AU he would have to keep them supplied with fresh blood so they don't commit murder and have all compulsory activities take place at night so they can avoid the sun. He gives a set of rules they keep being added to as the show goes on. The main one is Don't Kill People

Colin is the equivalent of Lana (Lana is the robot who stops everyone having sex and calls them all out on rule breaks resulting in SO MANY awkward and uncomfortable situations that Colin would love)

In a Plot AU they come in wearing their usual clothes and holding parasols to hide from the sun. After that point Guillermo makes them wear modern clothes to fit in which they hate until they realise that all anyone wears are swim suits and they are VERY easy to remove

In a Human AU Nadja thinks Jeff is hot and is CONVINCED they knew each other in past lives. She hypnotises him to remember and he suddenly starts acting differently. Guillermo is absolutely losing his mind trying to figure out if it actually worked or Jeff is just in it for the long con. Laszlo is super jealous and everyone is confused because both he and Nadja flirt with everyone on the island but it's just this ONE GUY Laszlo has a problem with. Guillermo is genuinely concerned Laszlo is gonna fight him

In a Plot AU the events of WWDITS haven't happened so Nadja and Jeff have never met. She recognises him immediately and tells the camera crew all about Gregor in a talking head interview and very quickly hypnotises him to remember when she realises Jeff is bloody boring. Laszlo is contantly trying to make Jeff meet with an "accident" and Guillermo keeps trying to stop him without actually ever appearing on camera

In a Human AU Mike (the bad orgy guy) would be there and would be SUPER insistant on following all the rules. Nadja and Laszlo do not listen and instead piss him off on purpose

No one knows Nadja and Laszlo are married, even the producers. They use this to get with basically all of the other contestants (and each other) repeatedly. They argue and flirt near constantly and treat the whole thing like a weird game to make each other jealous. Laszlo calls Nadja "my darling" all the time but he also flirts with and has petnames for everyone so no one thinks anything of it

Nadja breaks Robot!Colin about three days in when he calls her out for making out with Laszlo (again). Colin then appears in person for the rest of the show, which is worse for everyone accept him. He keeps walking in on everyone whenever they're breaking or are about to break rule

The three contestants added in later are Nandor, who felt left out (and was asked to stop Laszlo from killing Jeff on camera); Simon, who wants to steal both Laszlo's hat and Nadja (but mainly the hat); and Lilith, who just wants to cause problems

In a Human AU it's the same people with different backstories. Nandor is still Nadja and Laszlo's friend but they didn't know he'd be here and vise versa. Simon is Nadja's ex and Laszlo's "arch enemy". Lilith is just a random girl. Guillermo cannot BELIEVE that 2/3 are people that Nadja and Laszlo know. He's made a goddamn conspiricy board about these two

In a Human AU Nadja befriends Lilith until she takes Nadja's place in Laszlo's bed. Laszlo claims he didn't realise it wasn't Nadja because it was dark and swears nothing happened. Nadja calls bullshit and it's confirmed by Colin. Guillermo is losing his mind

One of the contestants is called Steve and he's a very straight himbo that doesn't realise Nandor is flirting with him. Nandor thinks they're dating, Guillermo is Definately Not Jealous

Nadja and Jeff get sent to the Special Bedroom (I don't remember what they call it in the show but it's just a private room with a double bed and a bunch of sex toys) for a night. They can all hear them fucking

In a Plot AU Laszlo gets sick of it and interupts to kill Jeff. Nadja's mad, but then they share his blood and fuck because that's just what they're like. Guillermo claims Jeff just left the show and Nandor is mad they didn't share Jeff with him and keeps going on about how they broke the rules. The other contestants are like "buddy those two have broken every rule in the book why are you suprised" because How Would They Know

In a Human AU Nadja goes back to Laszlo immediately after and Jeff gets pissed and actually does leave the show early

Nandor and Laszlo end up fucking. Nadja fucks Lilith in retaliation but then they actually start to like each other (again)

Nandor feels like he has to confess this to Steve. Steve congratulates him on getting some but is suprised Nandor likes guys. Nandor thinks Steve is just playing hard to get

At the end of the final episode when the prize money is announced someone insults Nadja and says it's all her fault there's nothing left, to which Laszlo is obviously like "how dare you insult my good lady wife!" And everyone just freezes like wtf

In a Human AU Nandor is super suprised everyone else didn't know they were married. He's just Himbo and he genuinely thought it was common knowledge. Guillermo loses his shit like "what do you MEAN those two are ALREADY MARRIED what the FUCK"

Anyway there's my dumb thoughts that I lowkey think would make a good funny bad comic

[lumina-rose]

Tear You Apart

Chapter 2/4

AO3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32168824/chapters/79765408#workskin 

Pairing:

Laszlo x Reader

Summary:

Mere months after the conclusion of the Beecham case, Dr.Kreizler and his associates are asked once again to solve a new series of murders that plague the streets of New York. They are joined by the alienist's new assistant, who's presence soon unravels startling revelations. Not only within the case, but also within the mind of one of their own.

(This story is set between the events of Season 1 and Season 2)

Warnings:

Murder Mystery, Graphic Description of Corpses, slight dark!Laszlo (kinda. Think Will “This is my design” Graham), Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut (MINORS DNI), Minor Violence, Friends to Lovers,Assistant, Boss/Employee Relationship,Tension, Sexual Tension, Mutual Pining.

(More Future Warnings TBD)

Notes:

Chapter 2: Love & Hate

It had been a full day since your strange interaction with Dr. Kreizler.

After waiting to for him to gather everyone involved with the investigation, you were troubled when no call came. Part of you worried that it was due to your disturbing experience, but you fought back your anxieties with logic. Even if something had happened between the two of you, Laszlo would never let it interfere with the case. Still, that did not stop you from worrying about the alienist. Your mind constantly returning to that moment.

His tired appearance, caused by countless hours of work and stress, which were aided by sleepless nights theorizing the motives and background of the murderer that haunted New York. The vacant trace-like state that overtook him, as though his actions were being controlled by something else. Someone else. The warm feeling of his palm against your skin, a feeling that would have been calming and welcome, had it not been placed around your throat. Yet, the firm but gentle hold had thrilled you- excited you. But it also frightened you. And even now, you debated your mixed, complex emotions. There was fear, yes, but excitement too. Or was there both? Or were they the same? What was the difference between the two?

You had felt like this before, in fleeting moments and never quite as strong. You had felt it with small admirers from your past, though nothing ever came from these interactions. You had felt it when you first began your work at the Kreizler Institute, upon seeing the care taken to provide the city's troubled youth with a sanctuary, free from the pressures of society. And recently, in small moments with Dr. Kreizler, himself, after working by his side tirelessly. On your trips to the Opera, when you both would be given a chance to simply talk- not about work or the mentally ill- just genuine conversations, discussing your hobbies, interests, and hopes for the future. One particular moment had stuck out to you, thinking back. It had been late, and you had joined Kreizler back at his home after a long day of work. You shared a drink together, when he finally asked you what you hoped to gain from learning from him.

Usually when men asked about what you wanted to do as a working woman, they were against the notion that you wished to become an alienist, believing that a woman could never become a doctor despite the fact that there were a rare few that already were. Indeed, even with the likes of Marcus, Lucius, and John Moore there was apprehension. With Dr. Kreizler, however, he never tried to persuade you otherwise and spoke only with respect and encouragement in regards to your dream. Ever since that moment, you had harbored affection for the alienist, though you would never act on it. If not for the sake of your own feelings, then for Laszlo's reputation.

"Ms. (L/n)?"

Your mind found its way back to the present, returning you to your surroundings. You stood in the small apartment that had become your home, a space you had rented out from a Mr. Louis Arnett. He was an older man who had been left a widower, and remained unmarried to this day. While he was a bit older than yourself, perhaps eleven years your senior, it wasn't impossible to imagine the possibility of him remarrying. It often made you wonder if his lack of interest in remarriage was due to his age or grief. Due to the sudden passing of his late wife, he had moved to a new house in the city, but offered for you to live in his previous residence, as long as you kept paying your bill on time. Since the Kreizler Institute was more generous in terms of wages, that had never been an issue for you. Still, sometimes the older landlord would come by to check on the space, often taking time to sit and chat with you despite your insistence that it wasn't necessary.

"I must apologize, Mr. Arnett." You sighed, giving a small smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. "I'm afraid my mind is elsewhere as of late."

The older gentleman sat at a small table in the center of the room, drinking from a cup. He wore his typical suit, all black- save for one pin attached to his tie. A lily was depicted on the small item, as a tribute to his late wife. You eyed the item warily now, only being reminded of the bloodied bouquets.

He gave an understanding look. "As I can imagine. Nasty business. I must say, I'm rather concerned about that alienist you say you work for....Kreshner, was it? Letting a lady such as yourself work well into the night, with all these horrible attacks going on."

"Kreizler. Doctor Kriezler." You corrected. Another burning heat flashed through you, upon Arnett's mentioning of your employer, wrapping around the collar of your dress jacket. "As for myself, I am capable of finding my way home safely."

"Of that, I am certain. I do hope the man doesn't keep you there too late." Arnett relented, chuckling slightly at your reaction.

You turned to the landlord, scoffing.

"I assure you, if Dr. Kreizler had it his way, I'd be back well before the sun had begun to set. If anything, it's at my insistence that I spent so much time at the Institute."

"Is that so?"

You were used to speaking casually with the older gentleman, during such visits, but your comment seemed to intrigue the man. Perhaps you should be a bit more careful with your words. You stiffened slightly, rushing to correct your mistake.

"With the attack of those four women, I believe we should be using what time we have to catch the person responsible. My beauty sleep can wait, for now."

The man nodded, thinking for a moment, before standing to come closer to my side. Holding a hand out, he gave a quick goodbye. "Very well, Ms. (L/n). I suppose I shouldn't keep you. Though, I do wish you would take care of yourself."

"I thank you for your concern, Mr. Arnett." You nodded. "I should be heading to the Institute soon, anyways. Perhaps I can walk you down?"

"You are too kind, my dear."

You brushed off the endearment, convincing yourself it was merely a phrase he used often, and went to join the man in his exit. Once outside, the sounds and smells of the street hit you, reminding you that even with a killer on the loose, nothing could stop the momentum of New York. You escorted Mr. Arnett on the sidewalk, waiting as he attempted to hail a cab. After a few long minutes of idle conversation, a small carriage approached, stopping before the two of you. You gave a quick goodbye to the landlord, beginning to rush him away, as you grew more concerned with the time. Finally, once the cab was out of sight, you let out a heavy sigh.

It wasn't that the man's company was unpleasant. In fact, you were grateful to find a landlord in the city who was so welcoming and reasonable with rent prices, there was just something about Mr. Arnett that seemed odd. It was as though he sought to interject himself into a person's life, whether or not it was welcomed. Though you were now used to the man's occasional visits, it had been a bit unsettling at first. From what you'd heard before moving here, most people in the city didn't bat an eye when it came to the lives of strangers. Then again, he was a widower, offering up what used to be his home to anyone who would be willing to pay. Maybe having a woman in the house reminded him of happier times?

Now on your own, your mind was drawn back to Dr. Kreizler and the investigation that had taken over your current daily life. You had been a bit untruthful in your conversation with Mr. Arnett earlier, in saying that you needed to return to the Kriezler Institute for the day. In fact, you had been given the day off in advance by the alienist, for what he called a "well deserved break". Nevermind the fact that he had ignored you when you suggested he do the same. Looking back on it now, you wished he had taken your advice. These murders were clearly effecting him, if yesterday was any indication.

The walk to the Institute had been short, given that you only lived a few city blocks away. Even from the sidewalk outside, you could hear the cheers and laughter of the children inside, followed quickly by the voice of one of the matrons. You smiled lightly, knowing that at least the patients of the Institute seemed happy, despite the dark times the city was currently facing. It reminded you why your efforts in the investigation were so important. You faced the ugliest parts of life, so that they wouldn't have to.

When you entered the front doors of the Institute, you were relieved to see that no one appeared to be in the halls. While you usually enjoyed the company of the children, you didn't want to be pulled away from your current goal of finding Dr. Kreizler. You made your way towards the alienist's study, knowing you might find him there. After the fourth victim had been found, there was no doubt in your mind that he had once again stayed up all night, trying to go over every detail of the murder.

You found the door to the doctor's study left ajar, a sight that unsettled you. You crept inside, calling out softly for the doctor, before stepping in fully. After receiving no response, you glanced around. The walls of bookshelves towered over you, but you noticed spaces were there were empty slots where certain books were meant to be, no doubt to help create the ever-growing mountain on the main center table. Papers and pages were scattered about, messily, along with notes and photos from the murder victims. A chalk board had been placed inside the study, and had stayed there ever since the new case began. Countless questions were written, some organized to certain corners, while others were placed haphazardly.

Sleep fascination? Somnophilia?

Meaning of Flowers? Personal or Symbolic?

Physical Strength- perhaps a labor worker or military background?

Love and Hate?

Your eyes landed on the last question, drawing you back to your last discussion with Sara. Only now it seemed the question wasn't love or hate, rather love and hate. Much like your fear and excitement, it seemed Dr. Kreizler was starting to blur the two. In your distraction, you had failed to notice the door to the side laboratory open, where Laszlo emerged from, followed closely by a young girl.

"Ms. (L/n)?"

The gentle questioning tone in words were countered only by the rough, scratchiness in his voice. Turning quickly, you gave the doctor a startled stare. The circles under his eyes were darker, confirming your suspicions, but you were pleased to see that he had taken the time to clean up his appearance overnight.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Kreizler, I had called for you but you never answered." You explained.

"It's quite alright, I was just talking with Loretta." He gave a small smile to the girl, who clung to his good hand. When his eyes came back to you, a small jolt went through you. "I hope you weren't waiting too long."

"Never."

The man quickly told the young girl to go join the other children outside, earning a silent nod and goodbye from her. As she rushed out, her hair bounced behind her, as she eagerly went to find her friends. You couldn't help but grin. Loretta was one of the more troubled youths. After an incident with a wild dog as a small child, she had been left with an intense fear of all animals. That fear later formed into troubling habits of torturing and hurting any creature she came across. Even going as far as to set fire to a neighboring cat's tail. You never would expect such a sweet smile to hide such violent tendencies.

"How did she react to the monkey?" You asked, curiously, looking back at Laszlo.

"She's improved, but is still afraid of them unless someone shows that they're friendly. It may be a while until she can deal with animals on her own." He nodded, mostly to himself, as if making a mental note. He stayed in his spot, by the door, as he continued. "I wasn't expecting you, I'm afraid. I believe I told you that you could have the day off."

"You did."

"And yet, you are here."

Still, he remained in place, as if he wanted to be near an exit at all times. You paused for a moment, stepping back towards the chalk board.

"I wanted to discuss something with you, but if you are otherwise occupied, I can wait." You said.

He stepped closer now, but still a good distance away. For some reason, that fact irked you. "Then you caught me at just the right moment. Tell me, what's troubling you?"

Ah, avoidance.

You didn't miss the fake curiosity in his tone, as he vaguely asked you what was on your mind. It was a test, and you both knew it. Would you mention his strange behavior? Did you dare? Did you want to? Did he want you to, or was this simply an attempt to forget the action, altogether?

You bit the inside of your cheek, biting back a frown. Two could play these games. "I wanted to share a thought I had about the case."

Instantly, Kreizler approached the table, overlooking the piles of read and unread books, in order to watch your expression, gauge your behavior. His expression became serious. "Go on?"

"I was thinking about why the killer used chloroform on his victims, despite failing to render them unconscious." You answered, your eyes meeting his. "I thought about the possibility that perhaps putting them to sleep wasn't his goal, nor was it to be used as a painkiller. As you pointed out, if reducing pain was it's purpose then he wouldn't resort to strangling the women. So then what if his goal was merely to disorient them, to make them unable to fight back? Perhaps the combination of panic and the effects of the drug caused them to go into shock? If that were his goal, then that would explain why he continues to use it."

The alienist pondered this for a moment. "He’s created an obsession with his true target, creating a delusion and using his victims as substitutes for her. If this is true, then perhaps the use of chloroform was simply a desperate attempt to keep them from fighting, from breaking the illusion he's created in his mind."

"That would also explain why he would then turn to using violence against them when they struggled." You nodded. "I suspect our latest victim fought a bit harder than the others, due to the stronger markings on her."

"It also supports the killer’s effort to cover up the wounds of the struggle. It would suggest that the victims didn’t want it to happen, when his delusion depends on their submission to him." Laszlo added, looking over the photographs. "He's become obsessed his target, taking pleasure from the idea that they will accept him, and escalating to violence when he's denied that pleasure."

He moved with a strong purpose, over to the chalk board, writing down a new series of thoughts and questions. There was a serious focus in his gaze, contradicted by a light glint in his brown eyes. You focused on his hand, as he quickly scratched the white chalk against the board's surface, following its path until he was done. The doctor stepped back, his chest heaving up and down slightly. A slight, satisfied smirk on his face.

"How did you come to this conclusion?" He asked, curiously, sighing.

A burning blush had reached your face, and your heart raced at the fact that your theory had brought some level of joy to the man. Blinking, you looked away, slightly embarrassed by your reaction. "I had an idea back at the morgue, before you..."

...before you grabbed my throat. You had trailed off, not wishing to speak the words aloud. Still, It seemed your message got through to Laszlo.

Now his eyes turned away, looking to the ground, as a rosy color reached the apples of his cheeks. There was a mixture of emotions in his expression, ones you could see he was fighting to hold back. Shame, embarrassment, regret, and something more. He no longer stood far away from you, as he had been just a moment before, yet you could tell he wanted nothing more than to be closer to the exit of the room.

“I must apologize, it was improper on my part and disrespectful to your boundaries." A hand went through his hair, a nervous reaction. "I fear I’m not sure what came over me.”

He didn't seem capable of looking at you, and you found yourself desperate to see his eyes. Taking a small step towards him, his head slowly turned to you. You gave him a reassuring smile.

"This case has been disturbing for all of us, Doctor, I won't blame you for being effected by it. Trying to understand the thoughts of the person responsible for these acts has proven to me that there is darkness in all of us... and that it's hard not to be consumed by it." You said, hoping to sound understanding.

You now stood only a couple feet away. His eyes met yours, as his expression gave way to something softer. "I’m not sure how I could make it up to you, after frightening you in such a way. If I still...”

Now you understood. There was the slightest tremor in his voice, but it was there. He was afraid. Afraid of his actions, afraid of how you'd react, afraid that you were scared of him now.

"I don't fear you, Laszlo." You admitted, softly. "I fear for you. If you truly wish to make it up to me, then allow yourself a break, if only for a day."

"I.." He shook his head, stubbornly, and glanced back to the photographs. "I can't-"

"-you will do no good if you work yourself to death before we even find a suspect." You countered, standing your ground. "Perhaps time away would clear your head. Please, Laszlo."

You bit you lip, as you prayed your heart would stop racing. You knew that Kreizler could be stubborn, often not listening to reason once he'd made up his mind. He paused, debating whether or not to listen to your advice. The ghost of a smile flickered over his face, before disappearing just as quickly as it came.

"How long has it been since we last went to the opera?"

You stared, unable to process his question for moment, as you focused solely on the word: “We”. After your initial shock, you cleared you throat. "I..I believe a month, perhaps?"

In truth, you weren't sure. After your investigation began, days and nights began to blur. You knew it had been more than a couple of weeks, at the least. Kreizler chuckled, softly.

"Well, then we must remedy that, shouldn't we?"

You weren't sure why you were so nervous. Going to the opera with Laszlo wasn't a first for you, so why did it feel so different this time?

You stared at yourself in the mirror, after changing into yet another dress for the outing. Perhaps it was because you felt surprised that Laszlo had asked you to join him, after the events of the day before. Or maybe it was because you couldn't get his actions out of your head, constantly thinking back to the feeling of his hand on you. You had been understanding that his action wasn't completely his own in that moment, but had that changed anything between you? Had he thought back to that moment, as you had?

Surely not, since you were about to accompany the alienist for the night. Then again, when you had insisted that he took a break, you didn't think he'd want to spend it with you, and yet here you were: stressing over what you should wear to the engagement. You wondered if you were just making a big deal out of nothing. He had said he wanted to make it up to you, and perhaps this was a compromise he'd found acceptable, allowing you both to have a night without worry or stress.

"Foolish." You sighed at your reflection, and the obvious blush that overtook your features, making it clear that it was not simply makeup that gave your cheeks a darkened color. "Absolutely foolish."

It wasn't often that you wore your formal attire, nor did you have an entire day to prepare for the night ahead. The payoff was that you looked far better than usual, a small comfort for your nerves. Was this too much? The question was now an echo in the seemingly endless cave that made up your mind. You shook your head, turning away from the mirror, once again cursing yourself for thinking in such a manner. Regardless, it was far too late now to worry about these little details, as the clock in your home rang out, signalling the time. You'd have to leave soon in order to make it to the theater at a reasonable time.

Every so often, as you began to gather you things for the night, your mind returned back to the investigation. You'd scold yourself. Tonight was a break, you didn't need to think about the horrors you'd seen. Laszlo needed this. Lord knows you needed this. Despite your nervousness, tonight was just a fun outing with a dear friend. And you intended to enjoy it, while you still had the chance.

A knock at your door startled you, as you prepared to leave for the evening. A shadow danced under the crack at the bottom of your door, signalling that there was indeed someone there, and not just your ears plating tricks on you. Cautiously, you reached for the knob. Was someone meant to visit today? No, you wouldn't have forgotten if Sara or the Isaacson twins were meant to come by.

When you opened the door, a man stood there, smiling down at you.

"Oh, hello Cyrus!" You greeted, sighing in relief.

The tall man gave you a nod, a smile playing out over his features. "Ms. (L/n)."

"Why..I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you, has.. Has something happened?"

Your heart and mind raced together. Had Laszlo changed his mind? No, he wouldn't be so rude as to cancel your plans last minute. Unless there was something important. Had another body been found?

Cyrus chuckled, shaking his head. "No, nothing of the sort. Dr. Kreizler just asked if Stevie and I could take you to the opera."

"Oh." It's all you could say, as you fought back another flush from your face.

"You look lovely tonight, Ms. (L/n)." Cyrus said, comfortingly, before turning his head back to the street. 

There, Laszlo's young ward, Stevie, sat at the driver's seat of the carriage, clearly itching to leave, so that he might race through the streets. You smiled, unable to hold back your joy.

"Thank you, Cyrus."

You had already gathered your belongings for the evening, not that there was really much you could bring, only a small bag attached to your wrist. You stepped out of your home, pausing only to lock the door behind you. You hurried down the front steps to the sidewalk, where you were promptly let into the empty carriage. Once inside and settled, you beamed, unable to contain yourself. You reasoned that your unexpected escort was probably due to concerns for your safety at this time of night, and nothing more. Still, a certain lightness in your chest emerged, bubbling up inside you, causing you to beam as you looked out the side window. 

You heard Stevie cheer out, and suddenly the vehicle pulled forwards. After a moment, you felt the wheel hit a large bump. You laughed after a second of surprise. Maybe your ride wouldn't be as calm as Doctor Kreizler had expected, but you couldn't find it within you to care.

When you finally made it to the theater, you had arrived a bit earlier than you expected. Not that you should be surprised, given how Stevie raced you through the city. On the carriage had stopped, Cyrus opened the door and bid you farewell. You watched the boy-driven carriage disappear into the night, before turning to face the opera house. The building was a towering structure, with large marble beams that made up the entrance. The warm, yellow light from the inside called to you, ushering you to join the fun. Given that Cyrus hadn't told you when Laszlo would arrive, you assumed he was waiting there for you. Picking up the skirt of your dress, you began your climb up the stairs, a slight urgency in your step.

You had found him a few minutes later, standing by the large stair case that lead to the upper level seats of the theater. Before he had seen you, you took a moment to admire his form. You had seen him in his formal suit before, a simple black suit with a white bow tie, but you always had to stop and admire the expensive outfit. He also had his cane with him, the one with the bird handle that you had once said you liked before. The one detail you thought was odd was the fact that he held the item with his right hand, as opposed to his left. Due to the weakness in the arm, he usually kept it close to his side in order to keep from hurting himself. It was only until he pulled a pocket watch from his vest with his dominant arm that you understood the change.

You walked towards him, until your approaching figure finally drew his attention. With a shy smile, she greeted the man. "I hope I'm not too late."

He shook his head, giving you a warm look. "Right on time."

He seemed rested now, compared to earlier, no longer wearing the dark circles that had plagued him for the last couple of days. You felt happy, knowing that he must have taken a break from the day as well.

"I apologize for sending Cyrus and Stevie to you without warning, I thought it'd be best if you didn't travel alone." He explained, before quickly looking over you. "You look beautiful tonight, (Y/n)."

"Thank you, Laszlo." You replied, blushing, while clasping your hands together nervously. "Though, you didn't have to go through all the trouble."

"It was no trouble at all. Stevie, in particular, seemed more than willing."

When the crowd of people began to move into the auditorium, you joined Laszlo as he led you up the stairs, towards the direction of the private box seats. You were a bit surprised to see this, given that he had gotten the tickets on such short notice. As you entered the box, you each took a seat next to each other, with you seated in your usual spot on his left. The opera you were watching was Aida, a story about an Ethiopian princess of the same name who was held captive in Egypt, and fell in love with an Egyptian general, Radames, and he with her, despite being promised to the Egyptian princess. As the show began, Laszlo quickly explained to you that the opera had been made by Antonio Ghislanzoni and Giuseppe Verdi, and had premiered December 24th, 1871. You chuckled, mostly to yourself, as you knew he'd be listing off little facts like this throughout the night.

As the show went on, you slowly realized a running theme in the show, in relating to it's star characters. Love & Hate. You found it a bit ironic, given the circumstances. In the first act, Aida, the main character, loves her country deeply but has hate for the Egyptians who have taken her and her people captive. Including Radames, as he continues to fight against her country. Time passes in the story, and the two begin to fall for one another. You were impressed with how the performer playing Aida was able to portray the conflicting emotions of the character- with her love for her country and her love for Radames, as she begins to fall for the Egyptian general. 

One of the reasons that made Laszlo's company so enjoyable was his ability to talk during a show, without taking away or distracting you from the experience. Often times, he'd speak quietly, leaning slightly for you to hear him over the music. He'd go on to tell you the historical origins that the opera was based on, and you had a feeling he had studied the opera before coming here. It seemed nearly impossible for him to know so much, if that were not the case. However, once the music began and each new song was sung, Laszlo's words would fall silent as all his focus was placed on the stage. Occasionally, his hand would twitch in the edge of you vision, pulling away your focus to the watch as his fingers shot up and down in the air, as though he were trying to play something.

Act Two played out similarly to the first, but showed how Radames fights with his own loyalties. By the end, the Egyptian general asked for the Pharaoh to release Aida and her people, but the Pharaoh would only accept if the general agrees to marry his daughter. Once the woman on stage stopped singing, the curtains closed and lights flickered back on. Already, some of the crowd had begun to leave the auditorium, in order to socialize with the other members of New York's society.

The two of you join them, going out into the crowded halls and lobby in order to celebrate your evening. Drinking champagne, you exclaimed your love for the story so far, as well as the performer's work. Laszlo agreed, complimenting the orchestra as well, before listening to your thoughts on the characters, occasionally interjecting how it's history was exaggerated for the sake of entertainment. Truly, you felt content in this moment, sharing your same passions with the alienist, while being able to give each other new thoughts and opinions. 

You were both finishing up your drinks, when your name had been called from some far off part of the room. Turning, you were shocked to see none other than Louis Arnett for the second time today. The man came over to you, dressed to the nines.

"Mr. Arnett, what a surprise to see you." You greeted, politely. "I thought I recalled you saying you weren't fond of the opera?"

"I've been known to come on the rare occasion." He replied. "It's a pleasure to see you, my dear. Lovely, as always. I also seem to recall the fact that I said you could call me Louis."

Kindly, you shook your head in denial. "I apologize, Mr. Arnett, but I highly doubt that'd be appropriate."

Before, you may have brushed off the endearments, but now they were beginning to irritate you. Especially with Laszlo present. Turning your head, you looked at Laszlo, who's warm smile had returned to his usual subdued expression.

"Mr. Arnett, I must introduce you to Dr. Kreizler!" You said, steering the conversation away from you. Laszlo gave you a confused expression, before you quickly explained: "Mr. Arnett was kind enough to open his home to me for such a low price, when I first moved here. He'll stop by on occasion."

Laszlo smiled, giving Arnett a nod, before placing his cane back into his right hand. With his left, he shook your landlord's hand, introducing himself.

"Ah, the alienist." Arnett hummed. "Tell me, Kreizler, do you always take your assistants with you to the opera? One might think you're trying to keep (Y/n) all to yourself!"

"Mr. Arnett, please." You hissed out, appalled.

Arnett chuckled, but you found nothing about his words humorous. Not only were they rude, given the circumstance, but the implication alone was entirely inappropriate. You also despised how he had spoken as if you weren't right there in front of him. Laszlo was clearly uncomfortable with the man's words, but tried his best to hide it.

The alienist merely sighed. "While it's true, Ms. (L/n) does work with me, It's been a pleasure to enjoy her company. Though she does assist me with my work at the Institute, I'm honored to consider her a close colleague and friend."

The last word was barely more than a small whisper, yet Arnett seemed to catch it. The older man nodded in understanding, before looking to you.

"I understand entirely. I don't blame you for wanting to spend more time with her, especially way from those horrible murders."

You blushed, stiffening slightly at the mentioned case. "Mr. Arnett, I'm afraid the purpose of our outing was to get away from the investigation. I'd highly appreciate it if we could enjoy our night in peace."

"Ah," He cleared his throat, embarrassed at your reaction. His hand went up to smooth out his tie, his thumb brushing over the lily pin. "I apologize. Of course you wouldn't wish to speak of it here. " Something in the distance seemed to catch the older man's eye, drawing his attention. "If you'll excuse me, I must be going."

You found yourself stunned at his erratic behavior, as he moved away back into the crowd. Once out of earshot, you let out a heavy sigh, turning to Laszlo with an apologetic look.

"I must apologize for Mr. Arnett. He has a tendency to overstep in conversations. I hope he didn't offend you too greatly."

Kreizler's brown eyes had followed Arnett, before finally looking back to you. While his smile hadn't returned, the warm look he gave you had. "John has, on occasion, accused me of doing the same. I suppose its only right that I should have to experience the same hardships I deal to others."

With that, the crowd was then directed back into the auditorium, as intermission drew to a close. To your surprise, Laszlo had offered you his arm, as you both returned to the private section. As the curtains rose and the next act began, you found yourself thinking about Mr. Arnett's strange behavior and how he'd spoken with Laszlo. You could understand if the man didn't like the alienist, given that Dr. Kreizler didn't have the best reputation among most of New York. Still, you weren't prepared for how casually he had disrespected him and spoke about you as though you were merely there to entertain them. Your chest felt warm, as you recalled how kindly Laszlo had spoken about you, complimenting your company. However, the way his voice has weakened upon calling you a friend had stirred all your anxieties back to the surface.

As the first song began, you looked to Laszlo, admiring him as he watched the show. Did he truly see you as a friend? Or was his hesitation an indicator of something more?

The third act began, with the story immediately picking up where it left off. Aida and her lover, Radames, perform in a song, where the characters are lamenting their forbidden and doomed romance. Once the song ends, Aida then began to plead with the gods, praying that they take pity on her people and the two lovers. In such dark times, as the one you live in now, you felt as though you would've done the same, had you believed in such a God. 

With the song at an end, you had expected Laszlo to then make another small comment about the show. However, when his gaze remained focused on the stage, you found yourself a little disappointed. It wasn't until you felt a warm brush against your hand, that your attention switched. It was brief, just for a moment, but Laszlo's left hand had touched yours, yet his eyes remained in place. Somehow, it seemed as though he hadn't noticed. Or if he had, he didn't mind. You blinked, clearing your throat silently, before looking back to the stage. The next song began, and followed the story with interest, wondering what would come of the two main characters, and the enslaved people of Ethiopia. 

Once again, you felt his hand against your own. There was no doubt now. Without moving you head, your eyes went back to his hand, a finger draped over your own. Slowly, you moved your hand into his, your palm covering over his own. Your heart raced, and the room felt significantly warmer. You began to doubt yourself, cursing whatever god there was for your foolish actions. But it all stopped, as his fingers wrapped into your own. You felt your breath hitch, but fell into a comfortable silence, watching the opera with a racing heart. As the song came to an end, you weren't sure if you welcomed it's conclusion or mourned it.

Laszlo turned, facing you. Even with the dim lights of the theater, you could make out the pink color of his cheeks and neck, as he continued to stare at you. His eyes held the same intensity as the day before, but that vacant expression was gone, replaced with something much softer. A binding energy trapped you in place, unable to look away. Even as the music began, signalling the next song, the doctor did not break his stare. Instead, his gaze slowly traced over you, a soft caress.

It wasn't until the music softened, transitioning from a loud crescendo to a soft steady melody, that you heard him whisper your name, as if asking something. You responded with his own.

You didn’t know who let go of the other’s hand, but it didn’t matter. Kreizler’s hand slowly reached up to you, the back of his fingers brushing over your cheek, as he pushed back a small section of your hair behind your ear, before finding it's destination against your jaw. He was hesitant to lean into you, not wishing to overstep your boundaries. It until you matched his actions, did the space between you disappear.

It was a small, innocent kiss. Even as you broke away, you felt the soft gentle buzzing on your lips. Your noses brushing, you looked up at him, staring into those brown eyes you've grown to love. You only broke the stare to lean in again, chasing the feeling of his lips on your own once more. You hardly cared where you were at the moment, as you lifted a hand to place over his own. You kissed him gently, not wanting to ruin this moment, as you lightly parted your lips for him. The hand on your jaw fell, finding it's place back against your neck, making you gasp. He seemed to grow more bold, matching your desperate enthusiasm. His fingers then dug down, not harshly but just enough to add pressure. The sensation was enough to send a sudden jolt of heat through you, making a small instinctive whine fall from you.

Suddenly, he broke away from you, a strange glint in his eye. As you caught your breath, you couldn't quite tell if his expression was one of excitement or fear. Before you could even ask what was wrong, the doctor got up from his seat, moving to leave the small theater box, not even stopping to take his walking cane. The light happiness in your chest died as quickly as it was born, and all that was left was the sinking feeling of fear and confusion. You then followed, doing the same, as the same nagging question played over in your mind. Had you done something wrong?

Tears threatened to form, but you fought to keep them down. At least until you had an explanation for Laszlo's actions. You found him just outside, in the empty halls of the theater. As you approached, he looked back at you, a troubled expression on his face. Your heart broke at the sight.

"Laszlo, I.. If I've done something wrong I sincerely apologize. I.. I'm sorry-"

Cutting me off, his head shot up, as if stunned. "You've done nothing of the sort!"

"Then why are you troubled?" You stepped forwards, searching for answer. "If I am not at fault, then you must tell me what it is I have done that has made you react in such a way."

"I just...I don't wish to see you get hurt. By being close to me." Laszlo looked conflicted, pausing as he tried to form his thoughts. His eyes looked to the ground, as he sighed. "By me."

The phantom hold on your neck returned, as you noticed the look of fear in his eyes. This man, who has trouble follow him wherever he goes, seemed haunted by something. You bit your lip.

"I've already forgiven you for you previous actions, as I know they were not entirely your own in that moment." You took a deep breath in order to keep your voice from failing you. "And even if they were, I trust you enough to know that you'd never hurt me, Laszlo."

"And if I wanted to?" He spat it out, quickly. Though the words didn't seem directed towards you, rather.. himself.

You blinked, a blush rushing to your face once more, as you were taken aback. Gathering yourself, you reached for his hand once more, silently. Lifting it gently, you gave a soft squeeze, a comforting gesture. His eyes met your own again.

"I'll trust you even then." You replied, feeling genuine in your response.

His lips parted slightly, his eyes widening as he looked down at you. He squeezed you hand, holding it in a grasp that was almost tight. A warning. Yet you stayed right there, watching as his eyes fell to your lips.

He pulled you forward, against him, as his lips met your own again. Unlike before, this wasn't so sweet and gentle as it had once been. No, now that underlying desperation, that need, broke to the surface as his teeth pulled on the soft subtle skin on your mouth, almost forcing you to open your lips for him, hadn't you not already been willing to. His weaker right arm found a place against your waist, as his left found the back of your neck, a strong hold keeping you there.

You gasped in surprise at the sudden forwardness of the typically reserved man. Your hands fell against his suit, finding a hold on the vest beneath his suit jacket. One of your hand slowly traced a path, running against the hairs behind his ear, as you gently pulled against them. The action sent a groan from Laszlo's throat, an unfamiliar experience for you, as you felt his voice against your skin. And Oh, how you craved more, smiling at how you had earned such a reaction. In response, you felt a quick nip at your bottom lip, a small jolt of pain coming from it, before his tongue ran along the same area. At the same time, the hand around your neck squeezed down. A thrilling chill passed through your entire being, finding it's destination just below your stomach. His lips changed direction, trailing a path from your lips to your jawline. You moaned, quietly, just enough for the alienist to hear.

"Laszlo."

Lust wasn't a look you were a stranger to, but seeing it overtake every aspect of Laszlo's appearance as he looked down at you definitely was. And you had no doubts that you looked the same. He pulled away from his advances, hesitating for a moment, blinking away the haze in his eyes. You leaned up, pressing a kiss against his cheek, as his left hand came down to your waist. As you silently stared at each other, you heard the volume of the opera's music return, reminding you of your surroundings. As much as you wished to continue, you knew you couldn't. Fortunately, it seemed Laszlo had come to the same conclusion, leaning back as he smiled again.

"It would be best if we return, before we are found in such a state..." He sighed, almost sadly.

He was right of course. If anyone had gone out into the halls at that moment, the mere sight of your disheveled states would be enough to cause a scandal, something neither of you wanted for the other. You looked away, nodding in agreement as you blushed, bashfully. As if you hadn't just clung to him, wishing that he'd continue. You returned to your seats, the two of you smooth out your clothes, erasing as much evidence to your actions as you could. Once you returned, Laszlo once again placed his hand against yours, drawing gentle circles against the back of your hand throughout the rest of the show. Permanent smile crept to your face.

The opera ended, with Aida and Radames dying in each other's arms. A tragic love story, doomed to fail from the start. But then again, did it truly fail? After all, Aida's people had escaped captivity and she had found her last moments with the man she loved. Perhaps if you hadn't missed part of the story you would've come to a suitable answer. You didn't regret missing it though, finding comfort in a far more enjoyable feeling in whatever it was that was between you and the alienist by your side.

You left the theater, with your arm wrapped around his own, sharing electric glances and soft touches. Once outside, you saw the familiar faces of Stevie and Cyrus, who apparently had been waiting to escort you back. Laszlo lead you to the carriage, opening the door for you. He took your hand, helping you step into the vehicle, before quickly joining you inside. Once settled, you met his gaze once more.

He smiled, warmly. "I hope you enjoyed yourself tonight. John has told me that the opera can be rather dull, at times.."

You blinked, bewildered. Surely, he was joking. You couldn't help but laugh, as you gave him a strange stare. "You're the alienist, Dr. Kreizler. What would you believe?"

Laszlo chuckled in response, taking your joke as a good sign. Lifting his cane, he tapped the roof of the carriage twice, signalling Stevie to start our journey. Your ride home had been much calmer than earlier, and you enjoyed the comfortable silence that fell over the two of you. However, as you neared your home, you sensed that Laszlo had something to say. 

"I'm sorry if my reaction startled you, that hadn't been my intention. The troubled minds of other have always been something that intrigued me, yet when faced with it myself, I find myself at a loss." He said quietly. "I meant it when I said you could get hurt, being close to me. Someone I held dear was taken from me, and I still fear that the same fate may reach you, the way it did her..."

He spoke as though a ghost hovered over his shoulder, a new level of vulnerability you'd never seen before. You realized that perhaps this is what John meant when he said Laszlo had been hurt the most by the last investigation. 

"I understand," You looked up, reading his expression as you spoke. "But you shouldn't blame yourself for the past. If you truly cared for her and could have changed whatever happened, I know you would have. You cannot punish yourself for something you could not control. If you worry for me, for whatever may come, I know you will work to keep the same from happening."

Laszlo stared at you, a sad smile playing over his face, as he mulled over your words. Once more the silence fell over you. It was only a few minutes more, when you reached your home.

As you glanced out the window, you paused. "Thank you, Laszlo. I had a lovely time, enjoying your company."

"Perhaps we should go to the opera again?" He suggested, hopeful.

"I.." You blushed for what felt like the hundredth time at this point. "I didn't wish to assume."

"Never, kedvesem." He replied, speaking a Hungarian word you hadn't learned yet. But it didn't take much to know that it was an endearment of some sort. "Though, perhaps we should save Delmonico's for the next trip to the opera."

You heart leapt at the notion, sending a rush through you. You gave your farewell, before stepping out of the carriage. Quickly, you did the same for Stevie and Cyrus, once again thanking them for their services for the night. As you watched the carriage disappear into the night, you felt as though you could die from happiness. Stepping into your home, the door being left unlocked, you gave a sigh of relief. The night had been a success and so much more.

You dragged yourself into your private room, tired after the long night.

 And in your distracted state, you hardly noticed the small bouquet of roses on your pillow.

[diamondcitydarlin]

I am just...honestly fascinated by this sudden ‘change of heart’ with Guillermo tho in regards to being a familiar and becoming a vampire, there’s a lot going on there and a lot to unpack, and I’m hoping somewhere in the depths of what is about to be a long, directionless rant I’ll find the clarity I haven’t seemed to quite grasp yet. 

ALSO I’M SORRY THIS IS A LOOONG ASS POST BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO PUT IT UNDER A READ MORE AND SUBJECT INNOCENTS TO MY BLOG LOL, BUT I’VE TAGGED ACCORDINGLY 

So, I already made a post about ‘Collaboration’ and some of the interesting subtext we get within that episode. Mainly, that this episode is an interesting one for Guillermo because he finally gets what appears to be and should be (at least at first) the opportunity he’s always been waiting for. To this point, across seasons, Guillermo has driven home that his one and only aspiration in life, the reason he tolerates an endless, shitty position, is because he hopes to become a vampire. He’s wanted it since he was a kid. IF HE CAN’T BECOME A VAMPIRE, WHAT HAS THIS ALL BEEN ABOUT?? 

If it was as simple as just wanting to become a vampire by any means necessary, leaving Nandor for this golden opportunity should have been as easy as taking off an ill-fitting pair of shoes...but it wasn’t that, was it? When Nandor pretended to shuck him off as if it didn’t matter, Guillermo got angry and sad in equal measure and only really brightened again when Nandor came back and promised to do better by him. Not necessarily set down a concrete timeline for the ‘becoming a vampire’ thing though, but Guillermo didn’t seem to care about that all that much anyway. Interesting. 

Now we’re able to see a version of things in which Guillermo is being treated better as a familiar, but rather than this development improving his mood he seems all the more aware of the fact now that...maybe he doesn’t even want to be a vampire anymore. Maybe he’s wasting his time here. Maybe he needs to swim towards open waters, so to speak. 

Very similar to Nandor, Guillermo, I think, is not really aware or fully accepting of the inner workings of his own mind. He strikes me as a character that does a lot in the way of burying the truths of himself so far down, he even convinces himself that part of who he is doesn’t really exist- even when it does, and drives a lot of his actions. The show plays to this by only ‘showing’ us concretely how much Guillermo wants us to know, with only small hints and nods to other things going on. That fits and rings true to the norm for a mockumentary style of filming/writing, in that the audience has to rely on a lot of subtle cues from the subjects to figure out what’s ‘really going on’ with a character or plot line; the ‘camera’ in a mockumentary style piece is as much of a visceral, present character as anyone else in the cast and is treated accordingly (but then, like 99.99999% of human beings have seen the entirety of The Office and Parks and Rec, so yall know this already) 

I think part of the way to figuring this all out is to ask why Guillermo wanted to be a vampire in the first place. His answer to this would probably be something along the lines of ‘because they’re cool’ which, you know, valid. That would be a fitting and satisfying answer if, say, I had given it because there was a time when I was about 4-6 years old that I, too, decided I would grow up to be a vampire. Because it was ‘cool’ and aspiring to anything else seemed boring. Again, valid. For someone who has dedicated pretty much ALL of his adult life to apprenticing into vampirism based on a childhood dream that never died? THAT begs a bit more of an in depth reason, I think, to which for now we can only guess. 

I’ll try to make an educated one based on what I believe is going on here, that Guillermo himself is either not aware of or not ready to share with the cameras: I believe his drive to want to become a vampire, given it was based in childhood flights of fancy (and probably some Guillermo-self insert/Armand fanfics, let’s be hONEST) was rooted in a need to feel respected and powerful, at the heart of things. When we first meet Guillermo, and for much of season 1, we see that he’s quiet, subservient, meek, and we learn briefly about how he was bullied in school. I think Guillermo was raised to be this way and use silence/subservience as his only defense mechanism, which may also go a long way to explaining why he’s so reserved. For 10 years, I think it was enough for him to tell himself that everything would be better for him once he became a vampire, he’d have all the things he never had as a human. Respect. Appreciation. Power. Control over his own life.

That said, things have changed quite a bit for Guillermo since season one. While learning that he had Van Helsing blood came as an unpleasant shock, embracing and exploring that side of himself proved that he’s actually kind of a bad ass even without being a vampire. He only ever wielded this power to protect Nandor and others so far, but it is a power nonetheless, this agility and strength that is too great for even VAMPIRES to successfully fight back against. He’s also a smart cookie that knows how to manipulate a situation, something that he’s been using a lot this season too. So, power, then. He has it already. Respect he received from his vampire-hunting group. 

But that still leaves appreciation and, dare I say it, maybe even affection/love. I think there’s a part of Guillermo that wants to feel like he’s accepted and cared for, but even when it’s offered (by groups like his vampire hunting clan, or Celeste’s vampire community lol) he seems to shy away from it going too far, like it’s just too much or ill-fitting coming from people he barely knows. Given that he’s a private, introvert type this makes sense. 

One thing has remained consistent for Guillermo though, across both seasons and episodes, and that’s his seemingly unwavering concern and affection for Nandor. Even in this last ep when he’s unashamedly shucking off duties that don’t fit his job description and maintaining those professional boundaries like a BOSS, he still snaps to and gets to work the moment Nandor is kidnapped. Laszlo’s gone? Meh, who cares, not his jurisdiction. Nandor’s gone!?? Fuck it, he’s getting the keys. A ‘vampire’ offers him the opportunity of a lifetime to become a vampire quickly and live within an accepting community of likeminded people and Nandor told him ‘go for it’? He’s upset that Nandor didn’t fight harder to keep him. 

So now he’s back and Nandor’s making a consistent effort not to abuse Guillermo’s position. This seemed the ideal resolution at the end of ‘Collaboration’, but after a couple of weeks it becomes clear that it wasn’t. For some reason. Guillermo’s no longer satisfied and thinks maybe it’s time to do more with his life. 

I’ll try to sum up the points I’ve made so far into a concise version of where I think Guillermo’s at right now, at least subconsciously; mostly all the things he hoped that turning into a vampire would grant him, have already been granted. He’s learned that he’s strong, smart, capable as is, more than he or anyone else had ever given him credit for. I think it makes sense that his burning need to become a vampire has begun to ebb into a quarter-life crisis of questioning who he really is and what he really wants, because the dream he nursed for so long has turned out to be pretty shallow and maybe not even necessary. He realizes there’s more he could be doing than working tirelessly to an end goal that no longer seems so sweet. 

But that leaves the ‘affection’ and ‘acceptance’ elements dangling in space, held up by his own affection for Nandor that has yet to be really defined. It’s pretty clear that Guillermo is nursing it hard, but what is the nature of it? Even as his sense of loyal devotion to a cause has started to fade, even as his view of Nandor as this unflappable role model has begun to disappear too bc he’s starting to see Nandor for who he really is (a himbo idiot that he can outwit, outmatch without even trying hard) this raw affection still remains. It’s still important that Nandor fights for him. It’s still important that Nandor is safe and protected.  

And, as with the rest of these things I mentioned, I don’t think Guillermo is even really aware of how much he cares about Nandor, how much it drives his actions and thinking, how important that relationship is to him. It’s easier to just sort of...ignore that and pretend it isn’t a factor, that’s Guillermo’s modus operandi when it comes to complicated feelings. 

I think back to that line from season 1, wherein Guillermo’s kind of musing wistfully about how different his life might have been if he’d stayed at Panera Bread/in a stable job with pay and benefits, but then handwaves that all away with ‘The heart wants what it wants’. By this point in the show he was already kind of drifting away from the goal of becoming a vampire (whether he realized it or not). 

The heart wants what it wants indeed, Guillermo, but maybe it’s not really ‘becoming a vampire’. Maybe it’s something else entirely that keeps you tied to this house, this thankless ‘job’. 

At this point, I really cannot say for 100% certain what I think will happen next with Guillermo. This show has proven solid at pulling out unexpected plot twists I wouldn’t have seen coming, but then, I also have been pretty good at predicting where they’re gonna go with things. Like 7/10 lmao. My two theories right now are: 

He’ll become a vampire in the series finale- unwillingly, maybe by accident. This one I think is plausible because it’s a bit of a kick in the pants. It’s the outcome he’s wanted for SO LONG but has just realized maybe it’s not all he can do or wants to do. I could see a situation where, idk, maybe Guillermo expresses to Nandor his thoughts lately about moving on from this and, in an act of stupid desperation, Nandor thinks maybe if he changes him that’ll keep him in his life, so he does it while Guillermo’s asleep and then surprises him when he wakes up...only to find out maybe that wasn’t actually what he wanted anymore, but UH OH what’s done is done. This could provide a lot of tension in the next season, I think. But as it’s a bit of a ‘shocking’ twist type route to go, I can’t be certain this is what they’ll do. Kind of a toss up. 

Guillermo leaves to pursue something else, which the camera crew will follow and document. This is the ‘sensible’/’safe’ route that most scripted shows would take, I think, in this situation...but again, I’m not certain about this one either because Shadows is known for throwing us for a loop and this seems a liiiittle predictable. It’s also very similar to what JUST happened in episode 8 and, were I writing the show, I’d worry it would come across as redundant. Like, maybe we already did this angle and should explore other options to keep the audience on their toes. Also, as much as they love putting Harvey with new casts of characters for episodic stories, I’m not sure they’d transplant him from the main cast for an extended period of time because he’s part of what makes that dynamic run so well. But then, the synopsis of the finale does say that vampires have to ‘survive without Guillermo’ while preparing for an event, so this may happen in some small, episodic measure again.   

Anyway, to wrap this up into a conclusion, I don’t think I’m wrong in predicting that Nandor/Guillermo’s relationship has been set up in such a way as to keep us guessing, sort of a Sam/Diane, will-they-won’t-they type thing that will remain a constant throughout whatever happens next, but will require both characters growing independent of each other in their own respective subplots. At this point, it has always remained consistent that Nandor and Guillermo prioritize each other even when it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t think either of them are ready to realize, accept, and sort through the layers of what they feel for each other. The master/servant dynamic makes that difficult, I’d imagine, so I think inevitably we’ll see the show start to pull them away from that. All I’m saying is, if whatever is going on between them wasn’t VERY complicated it would’ve been resolved as whatever it is a long time ago. Nah, there’s some deep, repressed shit they’re ignoring collectively for whatever reason, and usually that points to something that will, at some point, become romantic. Either way, to understand Guillermo is to keep a close eye on how his dynamic with Nandor grows and changes and I’m, as ever, VERY eager to see how it does. 

[davidcarner]

The Kiss Ch 6, The Realization

A/N: This new format doesn't lend itself well to the episode, so I tinkered. I give you The Kiss, Ch 6, The Realization

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, but it's on Amazon Prime streaming!

It had been an absolute mess, the whole mission. It had all started when Big Mike begged Chuck to find Morgan. Chuck went to the Santa Monica Pier, Morgan's favorite hang out and that's when everything went downhill; he flashed on Laszlo Mahnovski. Laszlo fled, and Chuck did what any guy with a super-secret spy cover girlfriend would do, he contacted Sarah. She came over to reassure him, and brought him a picture of the two of them they had made at the mall the week before. The almost shy smile she gave him when saw him, made his heart melt.

Casey pounded on his door a little later and asked him if he wanted him to beef up security, which Chuck declined. They had a meeting a little while later, and Stanfield admits to Laszlo being a technology wizard. Sarah and Casey joined the manhunt, leaving Chuck to his own devices for lunch. As he got in the car, he was shocked that Laszlo was there, but Laszlo told Chuck a story that connected with his heart. Chuck felt empathy and a sort of kindship to him. He offered to take the rouge asset to lunch and hear him out. At lunch, Laszlo told him many things, but the one thing that worried Chuck the most, and caused him not to report this meeting, was that his home was bugged.

Chuck came home, checked the house everywhere for bugs, and couldn't find any. His eyes latched on the picture of him and Sarah. He picked it up and searched it thoroughly, finding nothing. He shut his eyes, and hated himself. He texted Sarah that they needed to talk. Fifteen minutes later, she entered the Morgan door, a concern look on her face. Chuck was sitting on the bed, holding the picture she had just given him, starting at it.

"Chuck, you okay?" she asked.

"No, Sarah," Chuck said looking at her. "If it wasn't for you, I could be Laszlo. I would be locked in that bunker, acting as crazy as he is. In an hour, he nearly had me convinced that you and Casey were doing things behind my back and watching me the way you said you wouldn't. I exposed us to this guy and now…I'm so sorry, Sarah. I messed up." Sarah pulled footstool forward, sat down, and took his hand.

"Chuck, if you hadn't gone to Stanfield, we would have done exactly what you are worried about," Sarah admitted. Chuck looked her in the eyes. "Hey, he knows what he's talking about, so I get it. Trust is hard for me, and I do trust you, but if I saw something shady, I'd verify it," she said with an amused smile. "Chuck, this is brand new for both of us, for me in so many different ways, but you need to talk to me about this stuff. The stuff that affects you as my analyst, and the stuff that affects you as my partner, and I'm not talking the job," she said with a grin. "But know this Chuck Bartwoski, no one, and I mean no one, is going to hurt my Chuck."

"Little possessive isn't it?" he asked grinning.

"Got a problem with that?" she asked, returning the grin.

"None," he admitted. "Sarah he keeps finding me."

"I think I should move in for a bit," Sarah said. Chuck got a smirk on his face, and Sarah gave him a shove, knocking him over onto the bed. "For your safety."

"If you moved in, I'm not sure how safe I'd be," Chuck replied. Sarah stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'm going to contact, Stanfield," she said, leaving through the Morgan door. "What are you doing?"

"Walking my girlfriend to her car," Chuck replied. Sarah spun around and looked at him. "Cover," he added quickly.

"Is it?" she asked with a smirk. "Get back inside, Chuck, I'll be back soon."

"I'm fine, it's not like anyone is going to sneak up behind me," he said.

"I'm sure there's bigger morons somewhere, I just don't know where," Casey said behind Chuck, making him jump into the air. "I'll watch your boyfriend, Walker."

"Take good care of him, Casey," Sarah said. Casey looked disgusted, and watched her drive away.

"I don't know why you had to ruin a perfectly good agent," Casey said to Chuck.

"You know, Casey, I think we should watch some James Bond movies to bond," Chuck said.

"Or, I could just deposit you back into your room," Casey said, nearly flinging him into his room through the Morgan door.

"That wasn't nice," Chuck yelled at Casey, as Casey slammed his apartment door. He turned and his eyes widened as he saw the gun Laszlo had pointed at him.

"Not a sound, we have somewhere to go," Laszlo said. "And, don't worry about Casey. I've got his surveillance on a loop."

}o{

Chuck sat in Castle. Sarah and Casey were giving a briefing and Chuck wasn't even pretending to pay attention. He kept going through what happened earlier that day. Another bomb had nearly exploded ending the two of them. His life had flashed before his eyes again…well, not flashed like the Intersect flash, but flashed, and it wasn't what he hoped for. The last few months were better, but those five long years…they bothered him. He looked over at Sarah, who was looking at him with concern.

"Major Casey," Stanfield said. "I need to talk to Agent Walker and Mr. Bartowski about their cover. You're welcome to stay, but-" Casey saluted, grunted something and flew out of the room. Sarah was waiting for a lady feelings joke from Chuck, but he was silent. "Mr. Bartowski, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but you aren't saying much, and I'm concerned."

"That could have been me, or I could have died, again, or I could still be at the Buy More," Chuck said softly. Stanfield and Sarah shared a look.

"General, I think this falls under my purview," Sarah said, with a slight grin. Stanfield looked relieved.

"Whatever you need, within reason, to fix this, you have it," Stanfield said.

"I think the relocation we talked about needs to happen," Sarah said. Chuck snapped his head up. "For me, to Echo Park, Chuck," Sarah said, shaking her head.

"Mr. Bartowski, I need you to understand, I appreciate the dynamic you have with this team," Stanfield said. "I would never remove someone from your team without talking to you, unless orders came above my paygrade, and the way our charter was written, there aren't many, arguably one." Chuck nodded. "This entire project centers around you. We need you to be as comfortable as possible."

"Chuck, we all need you to be as comfortable as possible," Sarah added. "Everything we are doing we are trying to take you into consideration, but if something is bothering you, you have to tell me." Chuck nodded. She turned to Stanfield. "I think I have this, General." Stanfield nodded and signed off. Chuck's phone went off and he looked down at it.

"Morgan," he said, with a grin. "He wants to know if I'm going to sandworm with him."

"You should," Sarah said. "So Stanfield and I have been talking and we both think it would be a good idea if I moved into Echo Park. There's an apartment on the other side of the complex that I think would work well. When we need to protect you, you can come stay a few days. When you need to talk about things, we can do it there," she paused, and looked down shyly. "Or, if you just, you know, wanna hang out with me."

"I could do that?" Chuck asked, with a grin.

"Yeah," Sarah replied, grinning.

"You'll be running me off," Chuck said, sighing.

"Hey, no I won't, and I promise you if I need some time, and you need to get away, it's a two bedroom apartment, I'm putting an exercise room in, I can get away and you can get away." She looked at him. "What's wrong, Chuck," she asked, growing concerned.

"I wasted five years on Jill," Chuck said softly. "I never realized until today, how much I wasted. It took Bryce nearly ruining my life, to realize he made me live again. Before the Intersect, I was going to waste away over there," he said, gesturing in the direction of the Buy More. "I'm so glad I'm in your life, but I feel like I'm forced into your life." Sarah studied, him, grinned, and sat down in his lap, making his eyebrows about shoot off of his head.

"I'm glad Bryce sent you the Intersect, Chuck, because I never would have met you," she said. She paused and took a deep breath. "You've made me realize I can be more than a spy, I hope you know that." She studied him, and the look he gave her said he understood. "I have a life after this. I have a future and I didn't think so before." She grinned, looked away, and then set her jaw, turned, and looked him right in the eye, her eyes dancing. "Hopefully with the greatest guy I know."

"Have I met him?" Chuck asked, with his own grin. She put her hands on his cheeks and pulled him in.

"Damn right you have," she said, kissing him.

}o{

Sarah watched Morgan and Chuck in the sandworm, and realized how different this mission was. She thought about what she had said to Chuck, and realized he probably didn't understand everything she was saying. That was okay, she would have time to show him. She felt her come up behind her and tensed. She'd rather be armed with a fork leading a revolution in a third world country than what she was about to do, but she had to, and she knew it.

"Sarah," Ellie said behind her. Sarah turned and gave Ellie a genuine smile. She adored this woman. The woman who had raised Chuck as practically her own. The woman she hoped one day she could be friends with. Sarah looked at her, Ellie smiled, and pulled her into a hug. Sarah didn't know why, but no Bartowski gave a bad hug, they were like a drug that she couldn't get enough of. "I hear we're gonna be neighbors." Sarah nodded not trusting herself to speak. "I don't know what's going on with you two, but I know this. He's crazy about you, but compared to what you feel for him, it's nothing," Ellie said grinning. Sarah looked away. She watched Chuck and Morgan and then turned back to Ellie.

"Your brother is special, you know that," Sarah said. "He's not just a good guy, he changes you, he gets into your soul and just changes things I didn't know that could be changed or fixed."

"He's been taken advantage by a lot of people," Ellie said. Sarah looked Ellie right in the eye.

"I will never do that, and I will never let anyone else," Sarah said softly, but dangerously. Ellie smiled.

"I know," Ellie said, squeezing her hand. "I know." She winked at her, and walked off, as Sarah stood and watched everyone in the courtyard.

A/N: Next time…Stanford….oh boy….Hoped you liked it, reviews are always welcomed…til next time.

DC

[transhumanitynet]

Episode 106: Stowe Boyd on The Future(s) of Work and How to Thrive Amidst Accelerating Change

This week it’s a deep dive into futurist Stowe Boyd’s research on Social Scaling, Boundless Curiosity, Deep Generalists, Emergent Leadership, and other major features in the metamorphic landscape of the 21st Century workplace.

We live in an age when our human cognitive limits are being tested against a proliferation of possibilities in the digital space – and we zealously rush into always-on internet work, open office co-working spaces, enormous distributed online collaborations, and other novelties that seem to be more about the infinite capacity of our electronic tools than the finite reality of our minds and bodies.

Stowe Boyd has been studying and reporting on the future of work for over a decade, and his blog Work Futures is one of my cherished news sources for understanding how “we shape our tools and then our tools shape us.” Talking with him is a blast of cool reason and warm humor about the insanity of the modern work environment and the impossible demands that it makes on us – pointing toward more lucid, grounded, manageable, and yes productive new modes of labor in the dizzying technological milieus to come.

Learn More:

StoweBoyd.com

WorkFutures.org

Check out a recent edition of his Work Futures newsletter:

https://workfutures.substack.com/p/work-futures-daily-the-human-spring

We Discuss:

Invented the term “social tools” and founded the Work Futures blog.

How do we live in an unstable landscape in which new platforms are constantly replacing the ones where we’ve established merit and earned currencies?

The return of publishing to human scale as a response to ubiquitous weaponized advertising.

Book: Douglas Rushkoff, Present Shock

The modern era of social networking isn’t about social concerns but business concerns…human curation returns to the fore in its primacy: newsletters, list management, etc.

Why is it that certain tools and practices “work” for work, and some don’t? How certain ill-conceived collaboration software recreates the scaling problems of cruiseship tourism’s effects on local economies.

Anywhere-ism and “The horrible sameness of the places we’re working these days”

The paradox of blocking out open-office distractions with recordings of people talking in cafés.

“If you want to be creative, turn the lights down. You are more creative if you have high ceilings and dark. So if you take all that away, which is usually what they do in open offices…”

>>> Ten Work Skills for the Post-Normal Era

Laszlo Bach at Google using a data-driven approach to correlate skills with work success…not Ivy League degrees, not ability to solve certain IQ test type problems…

“BOUNDLESS CURIOSITY is the #1 skill for the future. The most creative people are insatiably curious. They want to know what works and why. And so that’s the skill you should seek. If you’re not naturally insatiably curious, then you should learn the techniques and skills involved with that and practice that so that you’re acting as if you’re insatiably curious, even though it’s a learned and not innate characteristic.”

How curiosity leads to unexpected second-order insights in at-first “unrelated” areas.

Bill Taylor, founder of Fast Company Magazine: four styles of leadership useful today.

The leader as a learning zealot.

The posthuman workplace: collaboration with radically other entities, be they AIs or transgenic persons.

The future of work looks like freestyle chess.

How and why to be a “deep generalist.”

“There’s still a lot of the Bronze Age in how typical companies are run…Bronze Age thinking is still 70% of companies.”

Emergent Leadership 21st Century Management, and Liquid Democracy.

AI and technological unemployment – a kind of “tragedy of the commons” as we each try to do the best thing for our organizations and race to the bottom.

Book: Amy Goldstein, Janesville

The collision of AI, climate change, and the collapse of globalist neoliberalism.

Book: William Irwin Thompson, Evil and World Order

“You have to start thinking about things at the watershed level. When you’re thinking about geography, it can’t just be the outlines of nation states, which are the remnants of old empires and other kinds of craziness. It has to have some logical relationship to the actual world, and that means city states, watersheds, and so on. And when you have that mindset and start to see through that lens, well, the desire of the Catalonian people to have their own state – it seems like an inexorable direction, and the notion that the EU is resisting that, fighting it, well…they’re fighting the future.”

The end of trucking and the inevitable riots.

Book: Project Hieroglyph, edited by Neal Stephenson

Using science fiction instead of futurist scenarios to make different futures truly palpable.

Three Visions of the future: Humania, Neo-Feudalistan, & “Just Horrible.”

“You can’t talk about the future of work without talking about the future in general, and the future in general is not just more of what we have today. It’s certainly not what we had in 1970.”

Episode 106: Stowe Boyd on The Future(s) of Work and How to Thrive Amidst Accelerating Change was originally published on transhumanity.net