#lately I've gotten more confident over writing because i got do it for college and my grades have been okay

[pinkieroy]

I have an idea for a fic but so little confidence in my writing abilities

[eskawrites]

you know what? I WILL be annoying. xoxoxo. 38, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 66, 80

<3 <3 <3

38. how many stories do you work on at one time?

the answer to this used to be 1, maybe 2 if i had an idea for something short come up while i was working on something longer. now there are apparently no rules, throw it all out the window, i've been cycling between 5-10 different stories for like a week and i'm starting to lose my mind

43. how did writing change you?

tbh i've been writing for as long as i can remember, so like, it definitely has changed me, but in the same way that growing up has changed me, or going to college, or coming out, or living on my own, or starting a career. in basically every stage of my life, up until and including right now, i can point to a dozen different ways that writing has helped me learn and grow in some capacity. but i guess if i had to choose one, probably that it's given me more confidence and really helped structure the way that i view myself and my goals

44. any writing advice you want to share?

well the most important thing is to make sure you're enjoying it. like, there's no point to writing--or being creative in any sense--if you're not getting any entertainment or catharsis or peace or whatever from it, why are you doing it?

but beyond that, i guess my advice for anyone who is serious about writing is to consume stories. i had a lot of college professors be like 'if you're not reading all the time you won't be a good writer' and like i get where they're coming from, but it applies to more than just reading. watch movies, play video games, listen to your friends gossip. the more you experience and think about stories in any format, the easier it is to apply what you like or don't like to your own writing style

45. name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

um you, obviously. @dufrau is astonishing to me, every piece hits so perfectly and leaves me thinking about it for days. and @categorical-mouse because i genuinely think about it's just blood under the bridge like once a week, it's by far my favorite imagining of the group post-hawkins, and war correspondent nancy is one of the most heartbreaking and thrilling characterization i've ever seen

this is so hard there are so many though there's so much great work in this fandom

46. what time are you the most productive when it comes to writing?

any time that it's dark tbh. my prime used to be between 11pm and 2am, but having a normal adult job and a normal adult schedule doesn't allow for that as much as i'd like lol

47. what story are you most proud of?

this is always a toss up between raise dead and this story that we found ourselves in but it's gotta be this story, yeah? it took over my life for like 4 months, it turned into this massive, sprawling thing and i have a clearer grip on it, and that iteration of the characters, than i ever really imagined possible

66. when have you felt the most confident in your writing? 

um so it genuinely might be when i was finishing the celebrity fake dating au. once i got to, like, 3/4s of the way through? i'd gotten through all the unknown parts and i knew exactly where the story was going, and anything that wasn't already planned out was just fun to write. it was great. i was sailing. there were so many lovely late nights where i'd just put on my playlist and write a bunch of soft ronance scenes, and in the morning i'd read it back over and just be so excited about the story. ugh. i miss it

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing? if so, how do you go about it?

hmmm not really morals or anything, but i do try to write something meaningful in the sense of, like, female representation and gay representation. i tend to write the stories that i wish i could see, and especially the stories that i wish i'd had growing up. sometimes that leans into writing about messages or experiences that are really personal to the gay experience, or at least my gay experience. it's never super intentional, though, that just ends up being what i think is important to the story

[thedaredevilsgirl]

Can you do a smut fic about professor tom and y/n is his student and he takes a liking to her and yes smut lol

Dear Teacher

Warnings: reader over 18 (between 19 and 22 years old) teacher-student relationship (please don't get involved with your teachers, this is wrong) Smut (Oral -Fem! Receiving- fingering, thumb sucking?? doggy style, hair pulling, breathing kink)There may be some grammatical errors, English is not my primary language

Word count:2283

N/A: I've been gone for a while, I was kinda sad these days and wasn't getting around to writing, so apologies for the delay in requests. I loved writing this one shot, it was for sure the filthiest thing I've ever done and I'm already planning a part two for it.

Part 2

You look at the time one more time. 23:40. He should have been here two hours ago. You didn't know why you still ended up in these situations.

At the beginning of the week a boy had asked you out on a date, he had been kind of insisting on it for several days and then you finally gave in, to be honest you thought it would be a good idea, you were really trying to get over someone else. You had gotten all dressed up for the date, wearing your new red dress matching the color of the lipstick on your lips, but of course something had to go wrong, without even sending a message warning you that you would be late leaving you there alone at the bar for two hours.

Your cell phone beeps inside your purse and you quickly pick it up seeing a message notification.

"Sorry, I won't be able to make it" the message said.

"Asshole" you say to yourself taking the last sip of your third glass of wine that night already getting ready to leave. As soon as you get up from your chair you feel an arm hitting you, the person quickly turns around and if you thought the night couldn't get any worse you were completely wrong.

"Excuse me" He says still without looking at your face, but as soon as he does he gives you one of those "Miss Y/N" smiles.

"Mr Holland" you say a little nervously.

Tom was too young to be a college professor, he was barely out of one, but he was able to quickly show how effective he was at doing this. It had been over a year since he had started to be your literature professor, you still remember your first day when he walked into the auditorium and you could tell how nervous he was, it was so cute, the way he talked and nervously put his glasses on his face, but after a while he built up a certain confidence, and all that confidence caused not only you but all the female students in that class to sigh.

You had been avoiding him for two weeks or so since you realized you couldn't contain your feelings, you always sat in the back of the room hoping he wouldn't see you and now fate decided it would be a good idea to put him and you in the same bar.

"It seems like it's been so long since I've seen you" he says "I know you're going to my classes because I always get your assignments, but still..."

"I'm sorry, I've just been a little distant these last few weeks" you give a shy smile.

"Got it" His gaze goes down your body looking at your dress before looking back into your eyes "so, did you come to meet your boyfriend?"

He couldn't have been more discreet than that. Tom had been in love with you since the first day he met you, always paying attention in your class like it was the best thing in the world and answering your questions correctly and after you started helping him at the end of class he got even more caught up in your fingers, you were so smart and so beautiful, you were everything he wanted and could never have.

"I don't have a boyfriend" he almost lets out a sigh of relief at your answer "I'm alone today".

"Me too..." He watches her for a moment again "You could sit with me" he offers gently.

"I don't want to bother you".

"It won't be any bother, you know I enjoy your company" He lets slip.

"Perhaps I could stay here a little longer".

He sits down right next to he at the table and orders a drink for the two of them.

"Don't worry, I'll buy it for you." From another one of those charming smiles that sent shivers down your body.

You notice, the black pants that fit so well on his body and the white social shirt with the first few buttons open, he had probably just finished his last class of the day before going to the bar.

"I read your latest work on the Brontë sisters, it was impeccable, as always" he compliments making you smile.

"I think it was the easiest assignment of the year, I love their books".

"I'm sure you do" he speak with a smile.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I know you pretty well, I'm sure I can tell all your favorite books just by looking at your eyes."

"Really?" He asks laughing.

"Yes" He says smugly.

"Then Mr Holland" you say in a tone of challenge approaching him "Tell me by looking into my eyes what my favorite books are" He looks at you, watching you intently in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm sure you love classics, Pride and Prejudice or Emma must be your favorites, and your favorite Brontë is Emily, surely you've read The Hill of Howling Winds more than once" He answers with surprising certainty without breaking eye contact, you blush over his gaze, he seemed to be reading you "So did I get it right?"

"Almost, really my favorite book is Emma, I love classics, but I am also passionate about books like Twilight" you both laugh together " but you got one thing wrong, my favorite Brontë is Charlotte, nothing will ever compare to Jane Eyre"

"I was almost entirely right" he defends himself as a joke.

"You are almost always right Mr. Holland".

"We are not in college, you don't have to call me Sir, you can call me Tom".

"Sure, Tom" You look down at your cup taking another sip of your drink.

He watches you intently as you bring the drink to your lips, the dress fit so well on your body, as if it was made exactly for him, and those red lips were driving him crazy, he wanted so much to kiss you, to taste the flavor of that wine on your lips.

The hours pass quickly as they talk, soon it is already 02:00 in the morning and the two of them are still there together.

"Why are you here alone on a Friday night?" You ask curiously after a while.

"I was correcting the last assignments of this semester and needed a stiff drink after I finished" he says before taking a sip of the whiskey in his glass "And you, why are you alone here? Shouldn't you be at some frat party or something?"

"No" you laugh "I had a date" you say shyly.

"I thought you hadn't a boyfriend."

"I don't, it was just a date, but he kind of dumped me, so I ended up alone here."

"What an idiot, I would never let you get away" He says and your eyes meet for the thousandth time that night. You were already sitting very close together "I'm sure he'll be very sorry later" he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear.

"Why?" Your breath starts to get a little shallow with the closeness, your lips were already so close, you bite your lower lip making his gaze go straight to your mouth.

"Because you're perfect, any guy who has you is going to be so lucky" he takes a deep breath for a moment "God, you're so beautiful."

You finally break the distance between the two of you and kiss him. You pull away soon after, thinking that you had misinterpreted the moment and that maybe he was just being nice to you, but then he kisses you again, but intensely this time. One of his hands goes up your thigh, slowly lifting your dress and leaving a firm grip on it.

"I've been waiting for this for so long," he whispers with his lips still close to yours.

"Me too..."

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

Tom closes the door of his apartment and puts her against it kissing her again, his hands going all over her body, now his hands find her hair pulling it lightly making her moan between the kiss.

Their hands finally reach the zipper of your dress opening it and letting it fall on your feet leaving her only in lingerie, he looks admiringly at her body biting his lip.

"More beautiful than I ever imagined."

"Do you imagine me much without clothes Mr.Holland?" He asks in a cheeky tone.

Tom was already used to you calling him that way, but not with that sexy tone of voice you used this time, he felt a sting in his cock when you ask him that, like he was getting harder just from your words.

"More than I should dear."

"What kinds of thoughts go through your head?"

"Don't worry honey, I'll show you" he says suggestively.

He begins to spread kisses down your neck, down to the top of her breasts, then down her belly, until he is on his knees in front of her, Tom runs one of his fingers down her still clothed slit.

"You are so wet, princess, is this all for me?" You just moan in response "I'll take that as a yes".

His hands pull your panties down removing them from your body, he places one of your legs over his shoulder leaving kisses along your thigh without looking away from your face. His kisses finally reach her center, he runs his tongue slowly from her entrance to her clit trapping it between his lips as soon as he finds it.

"Fuck, Tom" his hands grab her hair making him moan, the vibrations increasing your pleasure.

He would take her close to her apex and stop before you could cum and then repeat it all over again.

He holds your clit between his lips again, running his tongue over the little pink bud, but this time he decides to add his fingers to the tease, you were already so wet that the first finger goes in easily and then the second, in and out of you making you roll your eyes with pleasure.

"Please Tom."

"Please what princess?" He asks after taking his mouth off your intimacy without taking his fingers off you.

"Please Mr Holland" you say innocently "I need to cum".

"Good girl" he sucks you again until you finally reach your climax in his mouth and fingers.

He stands up quickly showing you the fingers that were inside you and placing them over your lips.

"Suck" He says authoritatively, you open your mouth quickly sucking your own furrows from his fingers, tongue curling around them as if you were sucking his cock. You moan in protest as he removes them from you, missing the weight on your tongue.

Finally they arrive in your room, placing you on his bed as he removes your clothes, and he makes you turn around, your belly and chest against the bed and your hips thrusting toward him. You hear the sound of the condom packet being opened before you feel him brush his cock against your pussy, from entrance to clit without penetrating making you moan slyly.

"Are you ready princess?" He asks.

"Yes please" you practically beg to have him.

His hands grab your hips, he finally enters you making you both moan loudly, Tom throws his head back feeling how pleasurable it was to have you.

"So tight, you feel so good around me" He says.

Moving in and out of you slowly, just to tease you, you roll your eyes and moan against the sheets, he finds your G-spot quickly increasing the pleasure.

"God, so so good"

His fingers curl into your hair pulling you in and the other hand finds your throat choking you slightly and pulling your body until your back is glued against his firm chest, the hand against your throat was the best part, the fingers squeezing on top of your pulse point and turning your face to him kissing you deeply.

"You like it when I fuck you like this, don't you princess?" He whispers in her ear.

"Yes" she replies almost voicelessly.

"You're a good girl for me, so wet..."

"Tom, please" she begs throwing her head back over his shoulder.

"Do you want to cum baby?" You ask penetrating her even faster "Cum for me."

Your body seems to obey his command and you are cumming seconds later, he comes soon after.

He pulls out of you and helps you to lie down on the bed, you fall tiredly against the pillow breathing quickly. Tom gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom attached to the bedroom. When he comes back already dressed in his pits and with a wet towel wiping you down, he then helps you put on your shirt before lying down beside you.

•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•

When you wake up, the first thing you see is Tom, his arm around your body keeping you close.

"Shit," you say softly so as not to wake him.

Remembering everything that happened last night you are desperate, you can't regret what happened, it was certainly the best sex of your life. But it was so wrong.

You get out of bed slowly, pulling his arm away from your body, luckily he doesn't wake up and you manage to get up. You grab your clothes and quickly get dressed and get out of there. This couldn't happen again, it certainly couldn't.

You wouldn't fall into temptation again.

[hqprotectionsquad]

Dating! For Science (Kuroo x Reader)

this is for my bestie, ate, and just wonderful person to know, io!!! i’ve gotten to know you over the past few months from the network and let me tell you, it’s probably the best decision i’ve made concerning this fandom. i know this isn’t easy, but you take all of your responsibilities with such grace and i’m always inspired by you. i don’t know anyone else who would have their nickname on the server be writeiolite (lara’s #1 fan) and that just makes me so happy. you make me so happy!! because of you, i have true friends from around the world and of different ages and i actually write!! i’m so honored to know you and i just love you so much. thank you for being you, io! i hope you have a wonderful birthday <3

summary: Kuroo’s tweaking his AI program for his senior thesis and he just needs one thing left to make this true to life: a fake girlfriend. After deliberation, you step in so that he can avoid hurting his reputation and another girl’s heart. What could really go wrong? pairing: Kuroo x F!Reader tw: cursing word count: 3010 a/n: lightly inspired by Black Mirror and the episode “White Christmas” even though that episode doesn’t really have anything to do with fake dating? i was more inspired by their ability to go into someone’s mind, thus leading to the AI aspect of this fic!

There's something about Kuroo that has always drawn you to him. Maybe it was his eyes, his height or hair. You still don’t quite know. But ever since your second year of college, your eyes never left that rooster-headed man. Lucky you; he chose the seat next to yours over the other ones in the lecture hall because he claims you had the best spot, so "sitting next to you is the next best choice."

It's been two years since then, and he won't leave you alone. He insists this is for the best because his best friend doesn't attend college near you two and you're the closest friend he has. Over everyone, Kuroo Tetsurou chose you and will continue to choose you, and you don't really understand why.

The moonbeams shoot into the room through the window. Lately, you've been needing to stay over at his apartment, just to make sure he's still alive. He's been begging the world for his artificial intelligence program to work. He wants something fresh and unpredictable to present for his senior thesis, something that his classmates would envy at and the committee would be in awe of. He'll defend his program swinging, you know that for sure. After moments of just sitting on the edge of his bed, watching him hunch over his desktop computer, the chair swishes and he turns to look at you. "(Y/N), can you proofread this for me?"

“What is it?” You stand to get a closer look and you guide the chair back to the correct rotation. Your arm hangs around his shoulders as you slot your eyes to see better. “Is this a—”

“It’s a girlfriend application.”

“Tetsu, what the hell?”

“What?” His palms face towards the ceiling as his forehead creases. “I need to make my AI as accurate as possible. How else am I going to make it realistic?”

Now, you tilt your head. “You...you’ve never had a girlfriend?”

Kuroo’s lips drag into a frown and he shuts his eyes for a few seconds as if he’s shutting off the rest of the world. “You don’t have to say it like that.”

“But Tetsu, you’re so charismatic. I thought you must have had a few girlfriends by now.” You think back to all of the times you’ve attended parties with him. He’s essentially been the life of the party and he’s always had people surrounding him while playing beer pong or just funneling drinks down his throat. How could have not had a girlfriend at this age considering his background?

“You don’t have to shove it in my face.” Kuroo drags his fingers down his eyes, nose, and lips. 

“You’ve had hookups, I’m sure?”

“Yeah, but a girl sneaking out of my bed at seven in the morning isn’t the same as having a full-on relationship.” Under his breath, he says, “I wish it was because then I’d be having hookups left and right.”

“You’re so weird.” You laugh at his comment and soon enough, he’s laughing along with you. You settle back on the edge of the bed and he follows suit.

His body weight sinks into the mattress, bringing part of you down with him. "It's one of the last parts of the project, and you know I've been working on it for a while now. I just want my program to be as real as it can get. I know it'll be flawed, but I've got to try to make it perfect as I can, you know?"

"Yeah." You mutter, trying to drown out your blaring thoughts. What you're thinking right now...it's absurd and you shouldn't have it on your mind. But if it all worked out, then maybe you'd— "Kuroo, what if I was your fake girlfriend? For maybe a month, give or take. This way, you don't scare people off and you're with someone you already know."

You can tell he's considering it, based on the way his eyes dart in many ways. "But shouldn't the point of dating be that you get to know someone new?" Kuroo's eyebrow slides up and it's hard to believe that he's never had a proper relationship before. "I know you fairly enough."

"You know me as a friend. It's different when you approach someone as a girlfriend and it's different when it's a hookup," you justify. "I don't even know your favorite color, and I'm pretty sure you don't know mine."

"Isn't it purple?"

You'll be honest, you've never really considered yourself as a "favorites" person who naturally sought out what they loved the most. You found better use of your time instead of boring through magazine quizzes to show what you liked the best. But after thinking, you shake your head. "It's red."

“Why red?” He asks and it brings you back to all of the photos you’ve seen of Kuroo in his old high school volleyball uniform. He’s shown you many and when you first saw them, you were surprised he didn’t comment on how you were biting your lip or looking back and forth to see how he’s changed. And he really hasn’t done much of changing except for growing an inch taller and his hair being somewhat neater, but he looked so confident when he was on the court. The red fabric of his uniform hugged his figure in all the right places. The photo where he’s speaking to all of his teammates—would it be wrong to say you swooned? 

It’s his color. Even now, if he searches through his drawers and checks his hangers, his current wardrobe will have splatters of red all over. Maybe red wasn’t really anything to you until you met him. Because it is his, it is now yours.

“Because it’s a passionate color. It’s love, anger, pain; it’s everything.” For a moment, you forget why you’re here and you have this stupid grin on your face, and then you remember and reality pulls you back. “I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”

“Are you sure? Because I don’t want this to be the reason why we end up falling apart, because you’re a really great friend to me and I love our friendship—” He’s speaking at a pace of a million miles a minute and you’re lucky you can even hear the words he’s saying.

You nod your head once. “I’m sure.”

While you don’t start off anything that day because Kuroo said he wanted to plan everything out before you begin, you also take that day to just be friends and bask in the current relationship you have with one another. Everything’s going to change from this point on, and you know it and he knows it.

You’ve got to admit it; the next time you meet, you’re scared of what’s to come. How do you greet him? How will he take all of his emotions and collate it into data for his prototype? Don’t you feel like you’re being used?

But you volunteered for this. You told him he should date — fake date — someone he already knows. You just wanted that person to be you. Seeing him with someone else would just be twisting a knife into your side. At least you get to control your feelings in this situation.

“(Y/N), it’s good to see you,” Kuroo greets you as you find him in the restaurant you were meeting in. He stands to hug you and you’ll admit, he’s actually trying to form a meaningful relationship, of some sort at least.

“Thanks for buying me dinner, boyfriend,” you wink as you say the last word. He even pushes in your chair when you go to sit. Kuroo settles across from you. He mentions something about already ordering for the two of you but you can’t really focus because he’s wearing an outfit you’ve never seen before. Yeah, those are jeans and a t-shirt, but his winter coat hugs his sides in a way you’d never expect. Your hope is that he actually dressed up for you.

After a waiter comes by your table to place your plates of noodles, Kuroo unloads his information for the AI prototype and he’s not afraid to release it all at once.

“So I have these guidelines I typed up for you,” he hands over this folder. It’s incredibly neat, as you expected of him, but there has to be over ten pages in here. Guessing by the first page, none of the papers will have blank space. “It’s just outlining my hypothesis, my expectations, all of that. You might not have to read it all because it's mostly for my records, but I highlighted the things that I think would be most helpful."

You wipe your hands with the napkin from the table and sift through the materials. "Tetsu, you highlighted mostly the whole thing," you mutter. Taking a glance at the expectations page, you raise your eyebrows. "You said that you expect to not fall in love with me?"

Kuroo bites his lip. "It's more like if I write that down, then it has a better chance of coming true. You'll only need to date me for as long as I need to collect experiences and data. I don't want to let you go as a friend."

You don't bother to respond because you've moved on to the rest of the page. "Wait, you want us to consummate our relationship?" You say this almost too loudly, and Kuroo taps your hand repeatedly to tell you to lower your voice. You press your palm to your lips and after seeing nobody is looking in your direction, your hand returns to the table. “Are you being serious here, Kuroo?”

Kuroo sighs. "I was just thinking that sex would also help in gaining experience."

“You’ve had hookups before.”

“Well, isn’t sex different if you have it with someone you’re dating?” Kuroo can’t quite meet your eyes when he says this.

“So what, we’re essentially friends with benefits now?” You bite back your silly smile and wait for his reaction.

His mouth opens and closes. Finally, he says, “I don’t want to say yes, but basically.” After a beat, his words rush out, “You’re still my girlfriend. That’s established. Girlfriend with many rules and such. Fake girlfriend.” He emphasizes on the word fake, and suddenly, it becomes your least-favorite f-word.

Still, you smile. “Fake girlfriend it is.”

You’re thrown into everything pretty quickly. He introduces hand-holding, and soon after, kisses. He’ll come pick you up after your classes for dates. “For science,” he says all the time. You really can’t believe he’s not your real boyfriend because he’s such a great kisser and after this all ends, his lips will no longer belong to you. Your heart says you should, but knowing he literally writes down his observations after you do anything romance related, your brain says absolutely not.

Now, it’s been about three months since you’ve began “dating” Kuroo Tetsurou. He blames the duration of time on the project, and now, this contracted relationship has an "indefinite" completion, says Kuroo. Through all of the dates, cuddling, and etcetra, he’s probably the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. That’s not saying too much, but whoever you date next will not be able to match up with Kuroo. There are definitely times when you forget that this is all for his artificial intelligence thesis because it all feels so natural, especially when you hold his hand while walking down the street, and when you catch him smiling down at you just for a few seconds. He’s not perfect and you hate it when he talks with food in his mouth, but everything else is pretty good.

Or at least you thought.

“(Y/N),” he calls out when you’re at his apartment on a Saturday afternoon. Nowadays, you’re at Kuroo’s place. You have study sessions with him, eat dinners, and close off nights with his arm around you when you watch a movie. He’s seen almost all the parts of you and you don’t even mind. He molds a spot for himself in your heart and he doesn’t even know it. All he knows is that you’re the fake girlfriend for his project, and maybe a trial girlfriend before he truly finds the one he loves.

You’re digging into the refrigerator, scanning the shelves and drawers to find a perfect movie snack. Would chocolates and gummy worms go well together? Or maybe fruit for a change...

“(Y/N), come here,” Kuroo reiterates as he’s relaxing on the couch in the other part of the apartment. After you find your snacks — you give into the dark chocolate to pair with the salty popcorn — you make it over to the living room, settling the candy on the coffee table.

“What’s up, babe?” Pet names flow out easy like the water in a river and you don’t know when it started, but it turns out Kuroo has taken a particular liking to this one. You settle in close, tucking yourself into his side with his arm still resting on the top of the couch.

“I was thinking about the AI thing,” Right, because this isn’t supposed to be real. “I think sex is the next thing we have to accomplish and I think that’s essentially all I need for the project.”

You have to blink a few times, just to make sure those were the words that came out of his mouth. You shift your body to face him and you’re no longer pushed to his side. “That’s it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Kuroo shrugs with his lips pressed together. There’s a chill that rushes through your body. You should have stuck to the contract because you know Kuroo did. You know that he did not stray from it for a second, despite all of the hugs and kisses you’ve shared. You knew this was coming, yet you still don't want to see it in front of your face. The two of you live in this cloud of smoke that this project has forged, and Kuroo will be fanning it away soon.

You don't know what to say anymore. On one hand, it would be simple to ignore your sense of direction and throw away every platonic feeling you have for Kuroo, just to try and work out a relationship without strings. On the other hand, your actions directly affect Kuroo and you'd feel horrible if you messed up his project, whether if it was because you abandoned ship or acted on your feelings and your relationship turned sour.

Any way you think of it, nothing comes out right.

“(Y/N), come on, talk to me.” He pats the hand that rests in your lap, but still, your head won’t get out of this fog. Is this what it’s been this whole time? You should have paid more attention to yourself, to see the exact point where you let yourself go and live in this cloud of smoke.

“I don’t know what to say.” You don’t look at him. “Is it wrong to say that I don’t want to do it? That I feel used?”

“You said this was like friends with benefits when we first began. You saw and read everything in the folder I gave you. This isn’t supposed to be real, we were supposed to be together for this project.” Kuroo sighs. “For God’s sake, (Y/N). You offered. You literally offered, and you did not have to do this.”

If you felt like crying before, well, now you’re really crying. You’re trying to have some sort of semblance of a composure, but with you wiping your eyes with the back of your hands every few seconds, it’s hard to know what exactly you’re feeling.

“(Y/N)...” Kuroo longs to reach for you, but you shift farther from him on the couch, making creases in it. You’re sure he feels like the bad guy now, but this is nothing but your fault, and you’d like to own up to it, if only you’d stop fucking crying. “(Y/N), come here.”

When you finally look up at Kuroo through your oceans of tears, you can’t tell if it’s your currently impaired eyesight or if he’s also shedding a few tears.

“Look, I like you a lot, and I like you romantically. I won’t lie about that. I have for a long time, and when you said you’d be my fake girlfriend, I was scared. I’m not the best at knowing lots of things that aren’t academic, but I know for sure that these things never turn out right.” Kuroo takes your hands when you inch toward him. He rubs the back of your hands, the pads of his fingers sopping up your fallen teardrops. The man here is unfolding the hardened layers he used to have, revealing his softer insides. “Fuck, maybe I thought,” Kuroo stops to stand and pace back and forth in the room you’re in. “Maybe I thought if I threw myself into my work and take everything logistically and treat it like a project with no feelings, then it could all be justified in my head.”

You don’t know what else to think, so you just do.

You mute his next words with your lips and when you release, you’re sure you look like a mess with the tear stains along your face, but he tells you you’re beautiful anyway.

“Be my girlfriend. My real girlfriend. Nothing for the project, though I’m pretty sure I had enough data from the point of two weeks in.” There’s Kuroo’s cheeky self, the one you’ve known and been longing for.

“You’re so stupid.” You roll your eyes. “God, my boyfriend is so stupid.”

He lifts you into a bridal carry, the crook of his elbow caressing the back of your knees. “Do I still look stupid?” But he doesn’t let you answer his question. His lips are on yours. Your hands press against his cheeks and his hair brushes against your face.

“I like you a lot, stupid.”

“And I like you a lot too.”

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[silvereddaye]

This may seem strange to ask, but as a writer, what do you do when you face a writer's block on your story? How do you find the time to write? I've always loved to write, and I was inspired by other fanfic authors (one being you) to begin writing my own fanfic. But life has been a rollercoaster and when I finally think I have time to write, I am always so exhausted or have zero ideas.

(Continuation) And while I have written one chapter down and published, I’m stumped on what to do next despite having an outline for the plot. And I feel bad that I haven’t updated in months when others can easily have multiple chapters done in just a few weeks. I am determined to continue writing and I’ve taken time to improve too from the first chapter that I have done. Is there any writing advice you can give me at all, please? If you can, of course.

Wow. Lots to break down here. 

1. When do I find time to write? I don’t always find time to write. That’s been a problem of mine lately with working two jobs. I work a job in the morning, have a few hours off, and then work a job in the evening. Then I come home and usually head to bed. (Though I often waste time on my phone before going to sleep.) Those hours between my jobs are usually filled with chores or napping. Very rarely will I write during this time. Most of my writing is done on the weekend, which is also filled with chores, being social, and relaxing. So yes, finding time to write can be an issue. It has to be an active choice of mine. Would I rather read or write? Would I rather watch TV/movies or write? I have to decide if I’d rather write over other free-time activities. 

A big thing is that I enjoy writing. I enjoy what I write. It’s something I want to do in my free time. That helps when you’re exhausted and should go to bed early. 

2. You have to love (or at least like) what you’re writing.  Continuing off what I said last time. You have to like what you’re writing. I have always been an imaginative person. As a child, I created imaginary worlds with continuing storylines that then led me to write in colorful little journals starting in middle school. I wrote all through high school, but then college came and I stopped. I had this … this fear of writing. I still had all these stories in my head, but the moment I started to put words down- I hated it. It filled me with dread. I would try to push through it. But it was so hard, and eventually, I gave up. And I was this way for YEARS. 

What changed? Fanfic. I had never gotten into fanfic until much later in my life. I started reading it, and then I decided I could write it too. So I completely understand being inspired by other writers. And all of a sudden I was writing again. I was ENJOYING writing again. 

I am a big supporter of ‘write what you want.’ So what if you have 20 WIPs. Because you have to like what you write. Especially when you’re first starting out. Now that I’ve been doing it a while, I’ve been pushing myself to not give up on my stories and start new ones. It’s hard. Trust me. But ask yourself if you love writing it. You may love the story- think it’s amazing- but find it hard to write. It feels you with dread. You have bad thoughts about it. Try and find something you do like. So what if it’s new. So what if you haven’t updated that story in months. Its fanfic. Sure people are disappointed. But you do this fun. And that is important. 

Writing should be fun.  

And if it isn’t, really think of why you’re doing it. You really want to share a great story? Sometimes we just have to hold on to them for when we are ready to write and enjoy them.

3. Don’t compare or worry and dwell about others. Which is really hard and even I do it from time to time. But the keyword in there is dwell. You can’t dwell on what others are doing. There is always going to be someone better. I am sure almost every fic writer thinks there is someone better than them. At least in some aspects. There are writers who write faster, do dialogue better, angst better, romance better, are able to get that characterization so on point, have a million good ideas, have just one really good idea, are able to do short stories, are able to do long stories, have a wide range, and so on. You can’t dwell on it. Because if you do- then writing stops being fun. You get filled with negative thoughts of “well this writer is able to write so much more than me. I know I can do this as well. WHY CAN’T I WRITE AS MUCH AS THEM?” See how those thoughts can spiral? And make you feel bad? 

4. It’s great you’re determined and want to continue. That is a fantastic start. But also, don’t be afraid to step away from that idea. My first fanfic, The Mantra, I had to step away from. I have officially discontinued it. I have other works I haven’t touched/updated in months and months. It’s ok to take a pause. It’s ok to work on other ideas. The biggest thing I can say is …

Write. 

And enjoy it. 

If you aren’t enjoying. Find something you do like. Because the more you write- the more confidence you’ll get. The better you’ll get. And you can come back to those ideas you struggled with before and suddenly find you’re able to conquer them. You’re only going to get better and more confident by writing, and you’ve got to enjoy what you’re writing to write a lot of it. It can be hard to step away from a story that you love and put your heart into. I would love to come back to The Mantra one day and completely rework it. But I had to move on. 

5. What about writer’s block? Man, ain’t that a bitch. I suffered years of it. I’m currently suffering it right now with several of my fics.  It varies from story to story for me. Some of the stories that I haven’t updated are because I’m too busy. Others are because I’m unsure because I never thought of the plot that far. Ones I do have planned out, I’m stuck with moving them to the next plot point. And one story I’m feeling unconfident about. I got a rather nasty comment on it and has me really rethinking the story. (Not all of it mind you.) And I am struggling with overcoming it. So man, I wish I had a cure-all on how to get over it. I still write. I write little ficlets on here. I’m working on a few other stuff. And they are things I like to write about. Do I feel bad about not updating? Yes. Oh yes. But I can’t dwell. I can’t force myself to write if I’m hating it. I write what I want to. What I enjoy writing. 

I don’t know if this was helpful or not. But you’re not alone. So many writers face this same problem. I have. I currently do. And the best thing I feel like I can do is to keep writing.