#let your inner pathethicness out

[ktchie]

God I love pathethic love deprived men, gotta be one of my favorite genders. I just want to give them a glass of milk and tuck them to bed. I'll be supporting them at every unhinged actions they do, Oh you want to be as dramatic as possible? Sure, I'll be cheering for you! You want to do the most cringiest and most disturbing shit any human could possible do? Go for it I'm sure you'll do great!

[pleasinglytherandom]

Puzzle drabble something something

So...I will admit I do take a lot of inspiration in writing from my own life experiences (naturally) and that can lead to projecting stuff onto the puzzle dorks. And whoever else.

But there is good reason behind it. I find it to be very important for what I experience to be out there...whether it be inner conflict or on how to learn to help someone important to you. Or how to help yourself.

Because damn it if I am not useful, I hope at least the information I put out there is.

For once, Yugi is the insecure one in this. Also...warning for sensitive material? It's anxiety based...so go forward with caution.

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It's quiet. Too quiet.

Yugi tossed and turned in his bed. He wants to sleep, his body has been telling him he needs this rest, but why won't his brain shut off?

He sits up out of frustration and rubs his eyes with the heel of his palms, and once he pulled away his hands, he stares at the scar on his right hand. The bright white lines criss crossing like the chains of the makeshift necklace. A permanent indentation and a permanent reminder of what he has gone through to uphold his duty thus far. And now...

"Even more people are getting hurt...not just me..." Yugi muttered to himself. He didn't want to alert the spirit, but that familiar presence in his mind becomes more alert to Yugi being awake. He shuts his eyes when he sees the apparition before him sitting on the bedside, eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"What's on your mind, partner?" The spirit of the puzzle inquired gently. Yugi doesn't need to see to know how worried he is. Surely he can hear all of the thoughts blaring in his mind. How loud they are, how negative they are, how far they will go to make Yugi want to say "Enough is enough". So...why is he asking?

"I..." Yugi started, but fell short. Where does he start? How does he explain it? ...Why should he explain it at all? It makes him squeeze his eyes tighter. He doesn't want to see the pity or disappointment. "I don't know...there are too many things at once."

The spirit was quiet, and it made Yugi worry even more. Is he judging? No, he couldn't...but it's still possible, right? There is always a possibility. Thankfully, his worries didn't remain for long.

"I understand if you don't know," The spirit began slowly, maybe even carefully. That's Yugi thinks he is picking up in his tone anyways. "It sounds like a constant buzzing in your mind right now...I wouldn't know what to say either. But that's okay. I will be here, and you can tell me whatever you may want to say. Take all the time you need."

Yugi opened his eyes at that moment. Curiosity got the best of him of how the other is looking at him, and he instantly relaxed when he didn't see any judgememt...only warmth. Yugi smiled briefly as a silent "thank you", and he joins the spirit by the bedside. There is no rush back to bed, right? ...If that's so, why does he suddenly feel like he wants to hide beneath the covers?

Yugi ignores the spike of anxiousness and takes a deep breath to sort out his thoughts...and he begins to talk.

"It's hard to say where my thoughts began," Yugi clarified firstly, and his hands clenched onto the bed sheets subconsciously. "But I just know with how Battle City has been going and what we have been through together...I have felt...guilty. I worry if I have grown at all because I want to help you get your memories back. I can't do that if I am weak and dependent on you. Then I have nights like this that makes me wonder...if I have to start over with gaining confidence, friends..."

Yugi swallowed hard and took a break to calm down. Tears have unknowingly formed in his eyes and flowed down his face. But no matter how much he wanted to stop them, they won't.

"Then I remember for how long I have felt that pathethic for with how long I have been bullied and how I am so lucky to be where I am right now, but sometimes I just...I remember everything at once and I feel usless all over again. How I still feel that way now, even...." Yugi clenches his eyes shut again and chokes back a sob. "So many have gotten hurt and I couldn't do anything...and I can never compare to you. You don't remember who you are but you are so certain of yourself still, and I don't know how..."

Yugi stopped there. He didn't have much else to say, and even if he did, his throat won't let him talk anymore. He quickly dried his eyes, but more tears replaced the ones that were wiped away.

"I'm sorry..." Yugi apologized with a sniff. "I'm sorry I'm like this."

"Don't apologize partner," The spirit spoke firmly, yet gently. The tone confused Yugi more than anything, causing him to look the other in the eyes. "Being worried is normal...even I am worried. I don't know what to do next, I don't know what will happen if I so happenly fail...but I know there is no use in imaginging it. I don't know how I will achieve my goal, I just know I will do everything I can to make it happen. And that's the same for you."

"What do you mean?" Yugi asked. He is so tense that you would think he would break if he breathed.

"I mean I know you will do anything and everything before even considering on giving up," The spirit smiled and a faint hand landed on Yugi's shoulder to comfort him. "I am confident in your determination and your skills to make something happen, and even if there was someone better, I would still pick you over them as my partner. I will never give up on you, even if you give up on yourself."

Yugi's face flushed at the spirit's words, and a smile spread on his lips. The wreck inside his mind stilled and a warmth filled his chest. While he is glad to have at least told the spirit, to hear something like that...it made Yugi feel like his worries don't matter. It'll be okay...because he will always have someone.

"Thank you...and I will never give up on you either." Yugi assured the other, and almost on cue, his eyelids felt heavy. He isn't sure how, but it was like his body was helped back into bed, and everything was back to a silence.

While Yugi fell back into slumber, the spirit slowly drifted back into the puzzle to rest.

"Goodnight, partner."