#let's just cancel it please I don't care if it's going to be a huge joke in what universe will this be funny

[petrovna-zamo]

Whenever the dating show is brought up I think about this... 

[cryptidfuckery]

Alex's Guide to Being the Best Ever Client at a Hair Salon

Hi my name is Alex and I've been a hairdresser for about 6 years now. Obviously over that time I've come to learn what things clients do that make me very happy to see, so here's some tips on how to be the best ever client and make your hairdresser love you to pieces!

Also please note that this is coming from a relatively independent hair stylist. My salon does not have a receptionist or assistants, just the stylists. All tips should work across most salons though.

BOOKING AND CONSULTATIONS

When calling or otherwise directly messaging a salon or stylist to book an appointment, KNOW WHEN YOU WANT TO COME IN. If you need to check your schedule, do it before or have it open before you make the call. This will speed up the booking process exponentially!

DON'T BOOK A SMALLER COLOR RPOCESS JUST TO GET IN. If you're booking online, do not choose a color process with less time just to fit in to the stylist's schedule if you actually want a longer process. By this i mean not booking a partial highlight when you actually want a full. We will not be able to accommodate you, and will either have to leave you with the shorter process or reschedule you on another day when we would actually have the time to deliver what you want.

UNDERSTAND THEIR CANCELLATION POLICY. I know they can be annoying, but let me put it this way. When you are booking with a stylist, you're not booking a service, you're booking our TIME so we can provide the service you want. If you cancel last minute or no-show, you are costing us money that we could have made back by booking other clients. Especially on big ticket services that take hours. Cancellation policies allow us to y'know... still make rent.

YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT... BUT... Part of a stylist's job is to ask the right questions to figure out exactly what you want out of your color, style, or texture. If you don't know exactly what you want, BE READY TO ANSWER QUESTIONS AND MAKE DECISIONS. We are trying to get on the same page as you so you will leave happy.

If you are coming in for a color that is more work than just an all over color or root touch up (aka single process), please do a tiny bit of research into what you'd like. You don't need to know EVERYTHING, but for reference showing a search for "BRUNETTE WITH HIGHLIGHTS" isn't going to narrow it down as much as a search for "DARK BRUNETTE WITH NATURAL WARM HIGHLIGHTS" would. A good stylist should be able to ask the right questions to get down to what you want, but this will make it much easier and quicker.

On that note, DEAR FUCKING LORD WE LOVE PICTURES, SHOW US PICTURES. BRING US YOUR PINTREST BOARD. SHOW US THAT TIKTOK YOU SAW. It's one sure fire way for us to physically see what you're talking about, and a good starting point to then ask qualifying questions with a reference! It doesn't mean we can 100% make it happen, but it helps us get on the same page you're on and see what you're looking to achieve.

Last but not least, research your stylists! Check what they specialize in, see if you can find any of their work posted online. Finding a stylist can sometimes be like finding a therapist, you have to find the one that's right for you (both in personality and technique). Don't feel bad about switching stylists; if your old one kicks a fuss they weren't the right one for you anyway. You deserve to be taken care of by a person you're comfortable with, and who delivers the service you want to your standards.

The hair industry is. Fucking huge. There's so many of us. You can literally call and book a consultation for a cut or color without getting it done that day. You can do that at 5 different salons before deciding. If they get weird about it just say you had a bad experience with an old stylist that you'd rather not get into. There is always options for another stylist.

BEST BEHAVIOR IN THE CHAIR

#1 thing i wish i could tell my clients without being rude: phone goes away for the haircut. Color is more lax, we don't always need your head in a specific position to apply it. Hair cutting completely relies on the position of the head, especially for the perimeter length of your hair. If you are looking down at your phone the whole time, the haircut will not come out as good. We also will be asking you to move to other positions, so we need at least some of your attention. It's also so we as hair stylists aren't having to contort our body into weirder shapes to cut your hair.

To piggyback off that, it's also because of the cape. Best client thing to do is once that cape is on you, make sure it's draped fully over the arms of the chair you're in. We'll take care of the back. The cape is there to protect you from getting hair or color on yourself, but it can't work unless you are completely covered by the cape. Including arms. (I'm looking at the fucking phone again >:( )

When you are in the sink, your nose should be pointing toward the ceiling while you are being washed. This allows us to not drench your face or neck when we are washing your hairline around your face. If your nose isn't pointing toward the ceiling, ask if you are able to readjust.

Best ever tip for in the sink: if the stylist is lifting your head up to rinse the nape of your neck, do not lift your whole neck. Crane your head forward while keeping the base of your neck secure to the sink. This will help you avoid getting water down your back. Your stylist might cup their hand at your nape, just lean back into it like you were a rag doll. We don't want to get you wet, but you gotta trust us with your head at the sink.

If you wanna get an A+ as a client, watch how they fix the chair at the sink for you to get in. The clients that put their own feet up or adjust themself to the right position (after an appointment or two with them) are my loves. my life. yes babe make yourself comfortable, you're doin my job for me.

If you are looking for extra styling past a blowdry (IE: curling iron or flat iron), let us know at the beginning of the service. This can take more time or is an extra charge, so letting us know in advance can allow us to communicate that to you or make sure we have the time to provide the service you want.

And probably my best tip/hack for all my introverted or neurodivergent people nervous about having to keep up small talk. Before or after the consultation, when they inevitably ask how you are or how your day has been, repeat after me: "I've had a really long day/week and I'm looking forward to closing my eyes, relaxing, and being pampered." This will signify that YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK other than what needs to be communicated. If they press, just say work or school has been really hard and stressing you out, so you booked this to relax and have some personal quiet time. Heavy on the relax people. Then just fuckin vibe bro.

If we ever give you our number to text, ask if we cant coffee. Ouughhghgh give us a coffe we love a fucking coffefee. Or ask your stylist what their favorite treat is. Just lil things like that. It's like an extra tip for us!

FINISHING AND PAYING

So your service is done! Make sure you check it out yourself and ask for any adjustments. Remember, you're the one leaving with your hair on your head, and will have to live with it until you return to the salon. If you need something fixed or adjusted, ask! A good stylist will prompt you.

Ask how tips are accepted. You can do it during the service or at checkout, but asking is always appreciated! Not all salons allow you to tip on card, but cash will never be turned away. Venmo is also extremely common.

I work in the USA where a 20% tip is the norm. If you can't afford that, don't worry. If you can't tip at all, don't worry. We don't know you financial situation, and we are in no place to judge that. You still deserve to get the service you want. More often than not if you talk to us about it, we will absolutely be sympathetic. If your stylist kicks a fuss about a tip they get (or don't get), drop them and find someone else.

That being said... yes we like it when you tip more than 20%. Of course we do, it's more money directly to us for doing our job. But I'll be honest with you, I will go out of my way for a kind client i get along with that tips 5% the same way I'll go out of my way for a difficult client who tips 100%.

If you like us, rebook! By having an appointment already in the system you're guaranteeing a time for you to get back in. And if you can't make it, you can cancel it or reschedule. It will help your stylist's rebooking data, which can help them within the salon depending how the business is set up. Sometimes stylists have to reach a certain percentage threshold of rebooking to move up a level of prices or get a higher percentage of commission.

Last but not least, if you're chatting with your stylist after the service, be aware of two things. 1) do they have their next client waiting for them? 2) are you their last client? If either of these are true, try not to linger. We hate having to do the "Well, I've gotta get to my next client/start cleaning up to go home." This can change as you form a deeper relationship with your stylist over the years (sometimes even a friendship!), but please remember that we are at our job.

As of right now that's all I can think of. If I come up with anything else I'll reblog and add on. And please feel free to shoot me an ask if you have a question I didn't answer here, or want to know more about something I mentioned.

But finally I will leave you with this.

Yes, the hair stylist is the expert in hair. Yes, we can give you advice about your style. But here's the thing. When you walk out of the salon door, we aren't the one's dealing with your hair day to day. Even if you don't think you know a lot about hair, YOU ARE THE EXPERT ON THE HAIR ON YOUR HEAD. YOU are the expert on what you do and don't want to look like. We're the tool to get it done. Remember that!

[binniesbobastay]

First time with TXT

18+ content below, minors DNI

Soobin

He's a romantic at heart, so he'd prefer your first time to be planned. Would want to talk about it before so he knows exactly what makes you comfortable ahead of time. he just wants everything to be perfect for you :( when the night comes, he'd take you out to dinner, smirking as he doesn't fail to notice your anticipation. He'd go out and do the whole set up of rose petals, candles, soft sheets all waiting for you when you got back. The moment would be all about you and he'd completely put your pleasure before his, and he's intent on every time after that being the same way. He won't even think about getting off until you're a whining, spent mess underneath him...

"Soobin~" the sound of his name falling from your lips was enough to make his head spin, making him press his own harder into the flesh of your thigh. You let out a whine as his tongue begins to lap at your pussy again... even though he's made you cum twice already like this. "Soobin, please! w-wanna make you feel good too..."

He smiles, looking up at you lovingly. "Oh sweetheart, you will. But tonight's about you, just relax and feel good for me. I'm having plenty of fun, don't worry." He chuckles before suckling on your clit.

Yeonjun

your first time with him happens after weeks, maybe even months of tension. The two of you had been pining for each other for so long. Both of you knew one wanted the other but the game of cat and mouse was just too much fun. But it wouldn't be long one day until the two of you were home alone and he finally snapped, fucking you dumb on every surface in the room...

"fuck, fuck, fuck!" you moan as yeonjun pounds into you from behind. He shoves your face further against the table he has you bent over. "c-cumming! i'm cumming!" before you can finish though, he flips you over, strong arms pick you up and putting you on the table. he pries your legs open before rubbing your clit fast with two fingers. "a-ah! yeonjuuuuuun~" you moan as your release washes over you. He groans, letting you ride out your high before sliding back into you. he leans down, pressing all his weight on you as you wrap your arms around each other.

"fuck, i finally have you the way i want you, princess..." he growls in your ear.

Beomgyu

You're his best friend he's had a huge crush on for a while now. He loves you more than anything but he doesn't know how to tell you. So he just stay quiet, watching you get together with other guys when he knows that he can treat you better. You've been on and off with a guy for a few months now but you found out he cheated and it was the last straw. You come to him in tears and he's waiting with open arms... then you both realize he can help you with the pain in another way.

"Gyu..." you moan, gripping his arms as he thrusts deep inside you. He smiles down at you, kissing your forehead.

"It's okay, baby. Don't think about him anymore, just think of me..." which was easy to do when you were wrapped in his oversized shirt and his sheets drenched in his scent and your palms were splayed over his smooth skin. Not to mention, the perfect movements of his hips making you see stars.

"I'll take care of you now, I love you so much..."

Taehyun

He's your work crush ;) you look forward to clocking in everyday if it means you get to steal glances at how his sleeves cling onto his muscles and his abs when his shirt rises up as he reaches for something. One night, your ride cancels on you. So you shyly ask taehyun, your only other coworker for the shift, for one. He flashes you a charming smile before gladly offering to take you home. You both become chatty when you're closing up and it's just the two of you. You feel comfortable to jokingly confess your little crush on him. He's silent after that and you want nothing more than to kick yourself... until when you're in his car, he pulls you into his lap for a steamy kiss. He eats you out before fucking you in his back seat.

"Mmm, tae~" you moan, threading your fingers through his hair as you cum on his tongue. He groans before lapping you up.

"Tastes so sweet, just like i imagined..." he smirks, making you blush before guiding you to the back. He lays you down before taking his cock out, teasing your clit with his tip and then sliding into you.

Huening Kai

Your sweet boyfriend! you're his first girlfriend and you're probably his first time ever :( but oh my god he's so pervy. he can't help it, you're so gorgeous. his mouth practically waters at the sight of your breasts or your thighs. during a movie night when he's spooning you, he can't take it any longer. Feeling your plush thighs under his grasp and being able to see down your shirt drives him crazy...

"Fuck... you feel so good!" he whimpers, holding your leg up as he bucks his hips into you. your wet walls make his mind go numb, completely lost in bliss.

"Mmm, you're doing so good, my love." You guide one of his hands to hold onto to one of your tits. He moans, pinching your nipple, the speed of his hips increasing.

[graciegoeskrazy]

Hi!!! Can you do a Matty + Daughter oneshot where she's sick with a stomach bug on tour or something, and Matty is just being the best dad ever and taking care of her.

I'm struggling BADLY with a stomach bug and need some dad!matty support 😭🫶

Human Too

pairings: Matty Healy + Daughter!reader

a/n: ANON NOOOOO! i’m sending all my good energy to you who i can only imagine is curled up in bed reading this. PLEASE let me know how you’re doing! I hope you enjoy :)

The band was playing at Madison Square Garden. Although they played it just last year and countless times before, it was still a huge deal. You were immensely proud of him and were excited to watch the show from the pit for their two-day run which you had never done before. It was very exciting.

After an early soundcheck, your father headed back to the dressing room to check on you and tell you that he was going for a meal with the boys. He noticed you’ve been acting off all morning. You just weren't as energetic as you used to be. He chalked it up to you just being tired. Your father knows you like the back of his hand. He can read you easier than a book, knows when you’re lying, and can always see right through you. It’s like a spidey sense but for being a single dad. You were lying on the couch curled up into a blanket with the lights off. When he flipped the switch on, you groaned but still not moving. “You alright, Darling?” He asked. You didn't answer. Instead, just laid there without saying a word. His first instinct was to check your temp. He sat next to you on the couch, moving your legs to make room. He pressed his hand lightly to your forehead. You winced a bit. “Oh, love.” You slowly unfurled from your little cocoon and sat up slowly. Keeping the blanket still wrapped around yourself. “Why do I feel like shit?” You said. “You’re sick.” Matty replied.

You shook your head. “Nooooo.”

He nodded, smiling at you. “Yessssss.”

“No, I’m not.” You winned.

“You have a fucking fever.”

“No, I don't.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t-”

“I’m not playing this game again.” He stood up as he made you smile. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna tell the guys I’m not going to lunch so I can sort you out.”

“No! Don’t cancel your plans because of me!”

He ignored you and closed the door.

…

When he returned less than 10 minutes later, you weren't on the couch like he left you.

“Y/n?” He shouted as he closed the door.

You didn't respond.

“Baby?” he asked again.

Again, no response. He looked around the room and saw the light peeking through the slightly ajar door to the bathroom. When he opened it and walked in he saw you hunched over the toilet. “I think you were right.” You said.

He helped you up and back to the couch.

“Lay down.” He said sweetly. “I’m gonna run out and get you some medicines. There's a pharmacy just down the street.”

“No, I want you to stay.” You said pulling on his arm with the little strength you had left.

“If you don’t have medicine you’re not gonna feel better.”

“Just order it or something! I want you here.”

He thought for a moment. “Alright.” He kissed your forehead and sat down on the floor next to the couch. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to instacart Theraflu to Madison Square Garden but I’ll figure it out.”

[i-just-like-goats]

Dazai x reader where y/n is cheated on but she moves on with another man (chuuya aku idk)

ooh yes you can! When it comes to stuff like this, Chuuya is my go to character, I love them both so much . Hope you enjoy!

Dazai x Female Reader x Chuuya

Summary: in the ask

Warnings: cheating

WC: 1.5k

Main Masterlist Part 2

You wouldn't consider yourself blind or foolish, but Dazai had that exact effect on you. With all your heart, you truly loved him, so you had deluded yourself into thinking that everything was going well between the two of you.

Every cancelled date, you excused it, figuring that everything was just busy at the agency. You wanted to believe that his lack of affection was due to him being tired from all the work at the agency.

Even when you saw him sitting at a bar with some other girl, you just ignored it, hoping that it was a misunderstanding and that they just so happened to sit next to each other.

But strangers don't look at each other like that.

You never confronted him about it, wanting to trust him. But even you could see when it was too much.

All of his colleagues at the agency always wore pitying faces whenever you came around to wait for Dazai only for him to walk off coldly as you followed behind him.

Everyone knew about what was going on, it wasn't hard to figure out. Yet they never dared to confront Dazai, turning instead to you to break up with him.

"Yosano, for the hundredth time, I trust Dazai,"

"But Y/N, I'm sure even you see that there's a huge difference in his behaviour. He doesn't even go on dates with you. I know you love him, but you can’t be blinded by your love for him and-"

She stopped abruptly at the sight of tears forming in your eyes. You shook your head, refusing to cry.

There in front of you was Dazai with his lips on the same girl you saw at the bar. Once they noticed you, you smiled. Dazai's expression didn't change, didn't show any remorse or regret, if anything he looked annoyed by your presence. The same look he'd been giving you these past few weeks.

At least his new girl had the decency to look ashamed. She refused to meet your eyes and hid behind Dazai to stare stubbornly at the ground.

Yosano placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you but to also stop you from doing anything brash.

"I knew this whole time, you know. I wasn't blind, but my love for you clouded my judgement. I know you've been cheating on me, but I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to let go of you. Now that I know for sure you no longer care, this is where I'm letting go. You let go long ago, it's my turn,"

You turned swiftly in the opposite direction and allowed the tears you struggled to hold back to fall freely. 

The girl shuddered at your calm voice. You didn't show sadness or anger, just resignation, and that frightened her.

"You needn't follow me anymore Yosano. You have no obligation to do this, I'm no longer your colleague's girlfriend,"

"But-"

"I'm serious Yosano, please just leave me alone for now, I just need time to reflect,"

She nodded with a sad expression, you smiled in return and walked in the direction of the harbour. There, you sat on the dock allowing yourself to sob out all of your sadness and frustrations. The noise of the waves crashing on the dock drowned out your loud sobs.

Where did you go wrong? Did you do something wrong? Were you not enough for him? 

Thoughts swirled around in your head like a gale. Your sobbing increased until you struggled for breath. You were deluding yourself into thinking your relationship was ok and after all that, the only thing you had left was an endless pit of despair.

Someone sat next to you. You lifted your head slowly from your knees after several minutes to give yourself time to calm down.

The stranger turned his own head to look at you, his own body at a 90⁰ angle to yours. A hat sat atop his orange hair and his clothes appeared to be incredibly expensive.

What was such a seemingly rich man doing by this dock sitting next to you?

"What brings you to this place?" You asked hoarsely.

"Just needed a break from the world. What about you? You come here often?"

"Can't say I do. It's my first time here. Like you, just needed a break,"

"It's my first time too. Guess the world was just very taxing on you then,"

You nodded absentmindedly. 

"The name's Chuuya,"

"Y/N,"

"Well Y/N, it's nice to meet you, though it could've been under better circumstances,"

"Nice to meet you too,"

"I'm hungry, wanna accompany me?"

"I don't want to take up any more of your time,"

"I chose to come here, you're not wasting my time. Besides, you seem to need something to cheer you up, food always does the trick for me,"

He didn't wait for your reply and opted to hold your hand and guide you to a seemingly expensive restaurant. You stopped slightly.

"I'll pay," He said as he continued to lead you inside.

You blushed lightly. When was the last time that you were treated like this? He seemed to be doing it out of pity and kindness, but you couldn't deny the warm feeling filling your chest.

You found yourself spilling everything about your relationship over the extravagant three course meal. His gentle demeanour eased you to comfortably open up to him.

"And I guess I was crying so hard on the dock back there because, I don't know, maybe I was a bad girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't enough,"

Chuuya made no comment and instead bore into your eyes with such intensity that you diverted your eyes to look at your plate 

"From what I've just heard, you weren't in the wrong. This ex of yours is the one to blame. He cheated, that was his decision. You can't do any more than give your all and hope the other person reciprocates. If they don't, then the relationship should probably end. But that's my take on it. Just don't be too harsh on yourself, got it?"

Chuuya's words flattered you, but did little to ease the ache in your heart. It would take more than a nice evening before you stopped doubting yourself. You sighed.

"Easier said than done right?"

"Yeah,"

"Don't worry, as long as you have a supportive group around you, you'll get through this. It'll hurt at first, but I'm always here for you if you feel that you can't talk to anyone,"

"Thank you Chuuya. You're too kind. And if you don't mind, I'll be coming to you a lot. My ex and I have the same friends in Yokohoma,"

"I see. Well, feel free to contact me. Here's my number,"

That encounter with Chuuya was the first of many meet-ups with him. Some meetings were like your first, others were just enjoying each others' presence in silence. Sometimes he would be the one ranting to you about an old partner he had.

Over several months, you healed, Chuuya helped you so much with his words of comfort. Recently, your meetings with Chuuya were no longer you seeking a shoulder to cry on and were instead because you enjoyed spending time with him.

How could you not fall for his charm?

You began to fear that he would stop agreeing to see you once you confessed to him that you had completely moved on from Dazai. You couldn't lose him as well.

"What's got your head spinning? You're frowning,"

"It's nothing,"

"Doesn't seem like nothing. You've been like this the whole week. Come on, you can talk to me,"

"I know I can, but my thoughts are about you,"

"What?"

Chuuya's cheeks instantly turned red at the thought of you having him on your mind.

"Sorry, that came out wrong but-"

"But it's all the more reason to tell me. Am I doing something to offend you?"

"No! You could never,"

"That's a relief then. So, care to tell me?"

You inhaled.

"I don't. I can't lose you,"

"What do you mean? I'm not sick,"

"I'm just scared that I'll lose you when I tell you that I've completely healed. We only became close because you wanted to help me through my breakup, your job's done, so now there's no reason for you to see me,"

"Oh darling," Chuuya engulfed you in his arms, "You're never getting rid of me. Especially now after we've become so close. All those dates would be a waste of time, don't you think?"

"Dates?"

Chuuya stiffened. He didn't mean to say that. To be honest, he started to think of your meet-ups as dates as a way to deal with his yearning for your affection.

"Take me on a proper date then,"

His expression brightened considerably. You laughed at his rapid change of emotions.

"You'd let me? You're not weirded out by what I just said?"

"Of course I'd let you. I'd be lying if I said I didn't also secretly wish our meet-ups were dates instead,"

He smiled and only tightened his hold on you.

"I'll make you so much happier than your ex. I'll love you so much more than you loved your ex. I'll do it all for you,"

"Thank you Chuuya. For everything,"

[doveabovetheworld]

Could you write like write a Clawdeen Wolf x Non-binary (afab) werebear reader that likes to dress masculine, but doesn't have very many clothes that fit well cause they don't have a chest binder? I feel like Clawdeen would make them hella outfits!🖤

Omg thats so cute!! I love this so much!! She really would make amazing outfits just for you! Clawdeen was always one of my favorites as well!!

Warnings; some gender and body dysphoria but nothing other than that!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked myself in the mirror and felt super uncomfortable. My girlfriend Clawdeen invited me to her house and I wanted to look nice before I went over but none of my clothes seemed to feel right on me with my chest binder.

I love myself, I really do, but I can’t stand my body, specifically the parts of me that make me feel more feminine. I have a few chest binders that help with the dysphoria but on somedays it’s such an overpowering feeling that I can’t shake off. Today was just one of those days.

I kept trying on different shirts and hoodies but none of them were fitting correctly. At this point I’m probably going to just cancel hanging out with Clawdeen. I really want to do that because I love Clawdeen with my whole heart but I usually don’t want to be around anyone when I feel this way.

My icoffin rang and I saw Clawdeen’s icon pop up. She’s wondering where I am… I pick up the phone and answer, “Hey Clawdeen.”

“Hey, Y/N, where are you? It’s like 30 minutes past when we said you’d be here. If you’re running late or something let me know though, please?”

“No, it’s just that… it’s one of those days again.”

“What do you mean? Dysphoria day?”

“Yeah… my binder isnt looking right on any of my clothes no matter how many I try and I just feel awful.”

“I’m sorry, love. Is it cool if I head over to your place?”

“I mean sure if you wanna…”

“Okay. Give me about 40 minutes and I’ll be right there!”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Love you!”

“Love you too.”

I hung up and layed on my bed until I heard the doorbell rang. I got up to go to the front door and opened it. Clawdeen was standing there looking beautiful (as usual) with bags in both hands.

“What’s in all those?” I asked pointing to the bags.

She walked in and put the bags on the table, “Not even a “hello” or “i love you” from my amazing partner?”

I gave a little laughed as she started to take out the contents in each bag and put them on the table. There were my favorite snacks and drinks as well as outfits that looked super cute. I looked at her and started to speak, “Claw-“

“Uh uh,” she started to say as she looked at me seriously, “No way. I know exactly what you’re gonna say and I’m gonna stop that train of thought right away. I came here because I know you’re upset and I love you. I want to make you feel happy and that’s why I brought your comfort foods and drinks. As well as making you shirts, pants, and other stuff to make you feel comfortable on these days or just in general.”

I looked at her in disbelief. She did all this stuff for me just because I feel upset…

“I really don’t know what to say, Clawdeen…” I started to say as my voice cracked a bit. I could feel tears forming in my eyes. No one ever cared this much about me to make clothes specifically for me. I started smiling wide and gave Clawdeen a huge hug.

She hugged me back and said, “I’m always going to be here for you, Y/N”

We went through all the clothes that she made for me and they fit perfectly. It made me feel so much better and I actually felt really good!

I sat on my bed in between Clawdeen’s lap. She started playing with my hair and I thanked her again for helping me out.

“It’s no problem at all, love,” she said, “Trust me. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I responded looking up at her. She gave me a kiss and we both layed down cuddling each other.

We eventually fell asleep and when I woke up, Clawdeen left. There was a tiny note on my nightstand and it said, “sorry I left, had to go get Howleen. Love you <3”

I smiled a bit thinking at how amazing Clawdeen is. I really am lucky to have her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N; sorry if it didn’t really hit at what exactly you were requesting but I still think it was really cute!

[m1yabi]

"Bewailed"

Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst

(Kinda inspired by the song "Ex by Stray Kids")

Hyunjin wasn't the best boyfriend. He was immature, treated you wrong, made you feel lonely, and most importantly, made you despise him. He greatly regretted his decision after a day without you. He's pining for you, craving your touch every second, yearning your presence all the time, and wishing that he had known better. 3 years later, he meets you again in a nearby cafe as a barista.

(Hyunjin's disgusted face before scrolling)

2019, April 24th

"Hwang Hyunjin, I don't think this is working out." You said along with a sigh. "Likewise." Hyunjin huffed out with anger. "Since we both know we aren't compatible being together, why don't we just break up?" Hyunjin finally snapped. You both had a huge fight. Ever since Stray Kids won their first reward for their comeback, "MIROH" Hyunjin got very busy. He came from canceling dates to full on neglecting you. Due to his lack of sleep because of the heavy schedule he's on, he tends to have mood swings and you sometimes are affected by it.

You had enough of this. You did not want a boyfriend who would treat you like this. This wasn't the first time this happened either. Ever since he became an idol, he has been busy. You can't blame him, so instead, you realized you and him were not compatible with each other.

After tears stream down your eyes from his words, he had regretted everything. He went to hug you, but you pushed him away. "I'll pack my things tonight. Goodbye." You said with a broken voice. As you shut the door, he fell on to his knees and sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed. He knew more than anyone else that he was wrong. Letting out his anger at you, neglecting you, canceling dates, acting cold towards you, the list goes on.

He didn't have the strength to even stand up anymore. You were his best friend, his sidekick, his significant other, his other half, his soulmate, his lover. Or should he say, ex lover. Losing someone he had known for many years before his fame was devastating.

The night was spent with tears from both you and him. You slowly opened the door to see Hyunjin shocked to see you, relieved even. "Y-Y/n..let's talk. please?" He said. Though you expected him not to care as he was the one who suggested you guys to break up, he seems just as miserable as you. Messy hair, red and puffy eyes, red nose, and even some broken nails from biting it.

"I'm sorry-" You were interrupted with a hug at your waist. He hugged you tight. "Y/n, I'm so sorry. Just the word sorry can't express my regret. I- I really am sorry. Please- give me another chance. You can hate me and let your anger out at me, so please-" You pushed him away.

"Hyunjin,.." This was the first time you saw him like this. So desperate and so pitiful. However, you have had enough. He has treated you the same way for 3 years. You'd be lying if you said you lost feelings for him, because you still loved him. But, you know, that he was not the one. "I can't do it anymore Hyunjin. I can't stand to see your face." Was all that you said.

Hyunjin felt his heart drop. Eyes widen at your words, and petrified. "I understand. I'll stay in my room till you are done packing. Please lock the door once you are done." He said with a forced smile. You really wanted to run to him, hold him, and forgive him, but you can't anymore. It was too late.

2022 October 23rd

"Have a great day!" You smiled at the costumer. "Fucking bitch she almost got me fired" you mumbled under your breath once the costumer walked away. "Y/n, can you fix the board outside? Some kids kicked it again." You co-worker said. "Ah, yeah yeah sure."

Hyunjin saw a eye catching cafe. Recently, he had been obsessed with coffee, having 3 cups a day. He saw the board and saw pictures of the sold coffees. He couldn't resist. "Felix, you guys can go first. I'm gonna to check something out." Hyunjin said his farewells and happily went to the cafe.

He came to a pause when he saw you, wearing a work uniform, and fixing the board you saw minutes ago. "Ughh those damned kids. I swear, everyone is stopping me from getting a promotion!" You groaned. "Excuse me" A man's voice was heard, which sounded oddly familiar. "Ah- oh, hello mamm sir, what may I get yo..." You were in shock to see him. Hwang Hyunjin.

"Long time no see, Y/n" Hyunjin greeted you with the happiest smile ever. "Hyun...jin? Is that really you?" You asked in disbelief. "Your one and only."

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

Damn, my man Axl truly has not a single plus ground button to his name, that is fucked.

LMAO it's like, yes, that's how it should be by nature of "Zoner man who's normals cover actually the whole fucking screen" but like...

Seriously? Not even c.S? Even Testament's c.S is +1 man throw me a bone! (sure minus c.S let's you tick throw with it but... 5K and 2K already do that just fine...)

In ALL honesty I get why they did it the way they did and yes to a degree I do understand... except on 6H. I've complained about this before but why is every other slow overhead like that in the game +2 and mine is -3. Be so serious. Like Axl is fine and I get why he's made the way he is and my only two REAL complaints are

c.S should be +1 - I don't think that's insane to ask for. c.S is slow and unreliable and not even active enough to cover backdash after a Safejump- you gotta 5K instead.

Rensen 8 (the pull in) needs to be consistent on block. I'm not even asking for plus frames, just stop fucking lying to me/making me guess ON MY OWN RPS. Why is the frame advantage "variable based on where they blocked, if they FD'd, if mercury is in retrograde-" STOP. STOP IT! Make it consistently +2 or make it consistently -6 morbillion I don't care just please for the love of god why I am the one getting mixed for hitting my own damn move.

And really only Rensen 8 actually bothers me that bad - I'll live with -1 c.S the damn thing DOES gatling into like, every other normal lmao. And it's not like they haven't been paying attention to where Axl's problems lie - the Rainwater changes and Whistling Wind are clear examples of that and they did WONDERS for him/gen. Seriously, Wind alone saved so many bad matchups. Rainwater improved his routing and also gave him a way to stop people from just dashblocking until he lost lol (I mean shit, +3 on block? Sol Badguy's blushing)... Whistling Wind also gave him an actual good cancel from 2H so you don't have to gamble on Snail and then die. Oh! And can't forget the rensen changes - that pushback on block is like you got t-boned at an intersection now LOL. Also being able to get Mantis off of delayed Cherry is huge... an ACTUAL way to reset Oki with a HKD and go for another Rensen RPS... thank you Daisuke, you DO care!!

Axl is as they made him, and he's good! I see the vision! I just don't always agree with all of it LOL

As an aside he DOES have one way to make a normal plus off the top of my head - if you meaty with 6H it will be slightly plus! (this is not a good option but hey if people don't know about it you might get a 5K > TKB if they try and mash out of it)

Oh and in closing shoutout to Faust - our fellow "-1 c.S for no fucking reason" I believe it's actually just us two with minus close slashes haha

[manic-pixie-dream-dude]

Some warmer than luke warm takes? Go for it, I love reading peoples thoughts and opinions on episodes

OHHH BROTHER, this ask has been here for a WHILE and I kept rewriting my thoughts (aka distraught venting) because I couldn't finish a single sentence or close off a point so here's my nteenth attempt. Enjoy.

the thing that bothered me with luz and hunter's relationship was that it had so much potential to go somewhere but simply didn't.

I don't mean this in terms of romance, honestly, I understand that a big part of Dana's vision for this show was having lumity be canon (plus huntlow), but rather in their general relationship development. it felt to me like during s2b there was a sort of... dissonance between Luz and Hunter's relationship vs the experiences they went through together, and what you'd sort of expect narratively to happen.

Luz is a caring person who's gone out of her way for people before, even enemies, so I was confused as to why we couldn't get any lines in about her being worried for Hunter, or showing us visually that she's attempted to contact him, or even have them hug/acknowledge what happened last time when they met up again.

I was expecting/hoping for a "You're okay!!!" from Luz and an "uh YEAH I'm okay I'm so competent haha please don't mention what happened last time to anyone EVER" which is. sort of what we got? I just want Luz to be relieved to see him, is all.

Just something?? to show us that they Get each other, so to speak (because s2 had to squeeze in a lot, I get that much plot that had to be skimmed over off-screen but STILL. Even small things would've been great).

I don't expect them to be BFFs. Cus i mean, he has spent more time with Willow and Gus so yeah, duh, he's gonna be closer with them. I just wish their relationship got the same treatment, or we at least got to see it grow during their scenes together.

imo the writers did seem to not let them interact as often as they could, for whatever reason. I still.... don't get why luz and amity had to be away while Hunter went undercover at hexside. The shenanigans that would've ensued.....

This isn't even exclusive to Hunter and Luz, I see it with Amity and Willow too. Again, this is mostly due to Disney's decision to axe tf out of this show, but I still think that they could've done quite a bit with what they had.

Alas, the writers are taking some of the relationships in a direction that I personally don't agree with which is 🤷‍♂️ It sucks, but that's how it is. I can always redirect my preference to fanon.

BUT!!!!!

s3 seems to be a bit different in that we look to be getting more hunter and Luz interactions! so hey! maybe all of what i said will be rendered null and pointless in like a week! we'll see i Guess!!

tldr: There are alotta missed opportunities, a lot is up to the show being canceled early but there are times when they could've squeezed in SOMETHING but decided not to. It's a huge shame but hopefully, we get to see them more in s3 so take my complaints with a grain of salt.

[ollyandglitter]

Bubble Bath

Words: 7.5k

Summary: In the Time of Covid-19, Simon and Baz return to Hampshire, reminisce about the past and look to the future. Plus some bubble bath scenes :)

Notes: thanks so much @twinkle-twinkle-up-above for the very profound beta and editing. You have a huge part in it.

Also, thank you so much for this stunning art 😍 go check it out!

The story on AO3

---

March 2020

Baz

Daphne wouldn't let us in. It's a little odd even considering Snow is standing next to me all messy and dirty, and admittedly we also have landed a Canadian mountain dragon right into her lovely rose garden. She wouldn't even open the door, and through the glass I can see her waving her arms frantically and pointing in the opposite direction. I frown, look suspiciously around, and knock again, before my phone buzzes.

"Baz!" Daphne cries out.

"Daphne," I try not to sound irritated, but honestly, my patience is quite short today. Six hours of flight on a dragon over the North Atlantic is cold, shaky and very uncomfortable. For everyone's sake, she better let me in soon to a proper human house, throw a chunk of meat to the very hungry Asriel in her garden, and let me have a nice bubble bath. (Snow can join if he wants to.) (Frankly, he should wash more, and someone ought to take care of his health.)

I open my mouth, but before I manage to speak, Daphne squeals in my ear, "you can't come in!"

I move my phone away from my ear and glance uneasily at Snow again. He is immersed in a conversation with Asriel, brushing his wings and pointing to the sky enthusiastically.

"Look," I try to sound reasonable. And determined. "We'll get the mud off our shoes before we go in, all right? But we've had a long flight, and before that we were on a three-month quest all over the Canadian wilderness, nearly died several times if you don't mind me saying, so I would sincerely appreciate it if you please—"

"You can't come in!" she wails. "We're under quarantine!"

I frown. "What?"

"Didn't you go through the airport?" Daphne asks. "Didn't they explain the restrictions? Actually, I'm surprised they let you into the country..."

"What on earth are you talking about?" I'm starting to feel like something is terribly wrong here. Snow is spreading his wings, clearly getting ready to join Asriel for an afternoon flight.

"It's Swithin, I just took him to the park, he wanted to meet Louie, you know—Lady Millicent's grandson, you remember him, he was invited for the twins' birthday—"

"Daphne," I try to stop her. She's unstoppable.

"—So he got sick, and she was just about to get that knee surgery, but then they cancelled all the elective surgeries, so—"

I wonder if  Daphne is having a stroke. A moment later I almost burst through the closed door when I realise she said Swithin was sick??

"Basilton," my father takes over the phone. "A pandemic broke out in the country. Louie got sick, and Swithin is under quarantine, to make sure he isn't sick himself so he won't infect others. Daphne thought it would be best if the whole family were under quarantine right now, so you can't come in." He pauses for a moment and continues, "You should also be under quarantine, according to the law."

"What? Which law?" Did we fall into a parallel universe accidentally? We should have listened to Shepard, who insisted that dragon flights may contain unexpected risks.

"How far did you wander out there in the wilderness?" he asks impatiently. "Check the news, for Crowley's sake!" he hangs up. I stare at my phone, puzzled, and then check the news.

Simon

Flying with Asriel is awesome. I fly underneath him, and he shields me from the wind. I really hope he'll stay for a while, though it's obvious that the woods surrounding the Grimms' hunting lodge are no match for his home in the Canadian Rockies. But it's just so nice to have someone to fly with.

My mood remains bright even when we land. Asriel is nibbling on a deer, and I lean on a wide tree trunk and listen to the birds until I fall asleep.

Baz

"Right, there are quarantine rules for all arrivals to the UK," Bunce announces nonchalantly over the phone. "Mum sneaked me in. Quarantine, Pfft. Honestly. As if she hadn't cast a protective spell on the whole family."

"Does it work?" I frown. Daphne's magic is a little weak, but my father's is all right, and I don't believe he would neglect his children that much.

"I'm not sure," Bunce admits. "Dad's still looking into it. It's a new disease and all that. Anyway, school is closed, and mum and dad are working from home, so they decided it would be all right if I just don't go outside."

Hmm. I'm not sure this would work with Daphne. She sounded utterly hysterical, as usual when her children are involved in something unpleasant. And this experimental spell the Bunces tried on themselves so recklessly wouldn't be acceptable to my father at all.

"Why don't you just go home?" Bunce suggests.

"To London? It won't be easy to land a dragon in our back alley." I think gloomily about my long-awaited lovely bubble bath. A global pandemic, seriously? Just when we got back from a long, dangerous, and filthy quest in the sheer Canadian wilderness? "Fuck," my heart sinks, "We'll have to sleep in the woods again."

Simon

I'm woken up by shouting. I hear a snatch of panicked voice before I even open my eyes, and immediately jump on my feet and draw out my sword.

"Simon!" It's Baz. Something's wrong. I start to run towards the sound of his voice, then instinctively rise up into the air. (My flying instincts got much better in the Canadian wilderness. We met a lot of weird things there.)

I find him easily from above. He's running into the forest, trying hastily to clear himself a path with magic. Baz still uses magic for everything. Sometimes it's useful, like when he decides we should clean the house. (And also sometimes on Saturday mornings, when I think I should get up already, and Baz spells a duvet so soft and warm over us that it drowns me like a puffy cloud, and with his cool arms around me, and his nose buried in the back of my neck, I can't even try to start moving. But I decide that's all right, eventually.)

"Simon," Baz gasps. "We need to set up camp."

"Huh?" I'm confused. Baz kept talking on and on about his precious bubble bath all the way back to England. He spent most of our flight in an endless monologue about all the different foams Daphne has.

He says something about a pandemic. I can only understand that his parents refuse to let us in. The idea itself doesn't surprise me that much—I've lived in more than one place that refused to let me in every now and then. Once I even slept in the backyard of the children's home the whole night. (I stayed in the kennel, the guard dog was always friendly to me.) (I would secretly give him some dried sausage sometimes. He just always seemed hungry.) But I thought Baz's parents were usually more hospitable than that.

I try to ask something, but Baz starts talking about quarantine rules. It annoys me a bit, reminds me of all the times the Mage tried to isolate me for my own protection.

"We can't go home," Baz says. "We can't leave Asriel alone here. So we'll have to sleep in the woods. Again." He looks so devastated. I have no choice but to think for both of us.

"We need an isolated place, right?" I try. "But comfortable. And with a forest big enough for Asriel. And a proper bath." Maybe Watford? Is it considered isolated? Maybe Agatha will spare us a room in the barn with the goats?

Baz looks at me. Looks around. Looks at me again "Maybe..." he says slowly. "My old home."

Baz

It's not like I haven't set foot in Hampshire since Snow turned the whole area into a giant dead spot. I got there once or twice to take some stuff. It just... feels suffocating. Like scuba diving under the sea—you know you have all the proper equipment, yet it's hard to shake off the feeling that there's just no air around. I've felt like that sometimes in the higher parts of the Canadian mountains, too. There was almost no magic there either. That's why we tried to stay close to moderately populated areas, even if they were miles away, and the magic was weak and unstable—because I just couldn't keep going without any magic at all for more than a day or two. My whole body starts to tingle, and I get restless, and also, I'm practically unable to do anything.

Snow looks at me. The emotions that show on his face chase one another: Fear. Guilt. Hesitation. Concern. Something soft, that almost makes me reach out for his hand. Guilt again.

"Baz," he mumbles, his head down. "There's no magic there."

"I know," I admit, a little uneasily.

"You hate things without magic."

"I don't hate you."

Simon's gaze jumps up. A sharp pain passes through him, and immediately melts into agonising self-doubt. He bites his lower lip. He still can't quite believe that it's possible to love him just the way he is, that magic doesn't mean that much to me, and nothing I say convinces him. And when I try to show him—well... it was difficult, up there in the Canadian mountains. A few hours without magic does indeed make my skin tingle restlessly, even if I try to hide it. And Simon feels it, and feels uncomfortable, and immediately rises up to try and find the nearest town on the horizon and head in its direction. Sometimes he would lift me up in the air, or force me to join a flight on Asriel, so we would get there sooner. And then, when I would immerse in the blissful reunion with my magic, he would become all quiet and distant, go fetch something and only return hours later. Or he would suddenly get tired and go to sleep. Usually, it passed away after a while (my magic duvet does wonders.) But it didn't exactly help convince him.

"Simon," I begin. He shakes his head violently.

"No, no. Let's just... rent an empty house or something. Some sort of an Airbnb. I'll pay."

"No, that's ridiculous." I don't want him to pay. I also don't want to sleep in a stranger's house. I've missed my bed so much that my heart aches.

"Then we'll get you back to London, Asriel and I. You stay there, and I'll take him to Epping Forest."

Pfft. He must be joking. As if I'll let him sleep in the woods cuddled with Asriel, while I'm stuck at home alone. Between this and spending a few quiet days with Snow without magic, I know my first choice.

"No," I say firmly. "I want to go to Hampshire. I... miss home." I manage to sound like I mean it at least a bit. I feel a kind of tremble deep down, that suggests I might actually mean it. I've never felt quite at home in Hampshire, not like in our room at Watford, but it's still the house I grew up in. Where all my siblings were born. The forest where I first learned how to hunt. I haven't thought about all this in years, but suddenly I can't shake off the thought of going back to Hampshire, and I feel a kind of anxious excitement. How would it feel, to be in my home without any magic in it?

Simon

I don't want to go back to Hampshire. I don't want to go back to Hampshire. I try to come up with a logical explanation that will convince Baz, but my mind is racing too fast and I can't quite speak.

Hampshire: The Humdrum throws a familiar red ball at me; a fire; fancy pyjamas covered in mud; wings. The memories strangle me like a thick fog. Baz's parents run outside screaming, and I fly away in a wild panic, navigating instinctively with the magic I stole from the world. I haven't been able to look Malcolm Grimm in the eye since, not that I had many opportunities. I'm not invited to visit often. Daphne is nicer, but sometimes she casually mentions something about her home, and I know how much she misses it. Baz also talks mindlessly about his home sometimes: the room he used to play in, the magnificent library, the ghost of some ancient uncle who lived in the woods and would occasionally help him find a wounded deer—Baz always felt better when he could put an animal out of its misery.

I stole all of that.

And yet the house remained in its place, as still and gloomy as a tombstone. Several other magickal families sold their houses to Normals and left their past behind, but not the Grimms. They would never give up their ancient family estate. But it's also very clear that it's no longer livable.

The burden of guilt settles on my chest and makes it hard to breathe. Faintly I mutter, "I don't want to go back to Hampshire." Because how will I be able to set a foot in this place and still look Baz in the eye, and believe that he is still capable of loving me, when he remembers everything I've done to the world? Everything I've done to him? Everything that I really am?

______________________________________________________________

Baz

I step carefully into the front hall of the place that used to be my childhood home, and is now a dark space full of covered furniture. We have a Normal housemaid who is supposed to come and clean up every couple of weeks, but I'm not certain she's doing a proper job. The windows are sealed, the floor creaks under my feet, and everything smells like dust. The house feels abandoned. I raise my wand to cast a few basic cleansing spells, and stop abruptly as realisation hits me. It's a dead spot. Huh.

Simon comes cautiously behind me. He's uncharacteristically quiet, his head is bowed and his shoulders are slumped as if he's trying to disappear inside himself. His wings are flattened against his back tightly, and even his golden curls look faded in the faint, dusty light.

He looks at the wand I'm still holding in my hand, and begins to say nervously, "Baz, I'm not sure that was a good idea—", and I just have to stop him before we find ourselves teetering in the wind again.

"Come on, Snow, we have a lot of work to do," I say with all the vigorous high spirit I can muster, throwing my wand aside. "Come and help to clean up."

Simon

Cleaning up takes forever, and I throw myself fully into it: I open the windows and sweep the floors and remove heavy, dark covers from rigid Victorian furniture. It's the least I can do. At first it's distressing, and I try not to look at Baz, who is trying to look enthusiastic and motivated rather than restless and grumpy. He walks through the rooms, grumbling to himself when he thinks I can't hear. But gradually, the monotonous physical work relaxes me. Then a vague feeling of familiarity starts nagging me, and I realise I've actually done all of this before.

I did a lot of housework in a lot of old Victorian houses that had been converted into public charity buildings, homes for the poor, neglected children. And even though It's been years since I last held a duster (our flat in London is regularly cleaned by magic, obviously), the well-practised movements from my childhood are woven naturally into my muscles, and I don't even have to think about it. The automatic movements feel right somehow, like a forgotten note of my true self, like meeting the Humdrum again and not fearing him anymore.

As time goes by, Baz tries less and less hard to fake enthusiasm, and dissolve into the familiar sour mood I’ve come to know all too well on our quest. Instead of drowning myself in guilt again, I decide to try to be productive, and turn to the bathroom. Baz isn't very skillful at Normal-style cleanings, but Merlin, I surely have more than enough adequate experience.

Baz

The bathroom is so warm and bright and clean and feels like home, that I almost forget to feel suffocated. I've spent so many hours here—soaking in the sudsy water, listening to violin and piano concerto records, and almost managing to push aside everything that was happening in my life: my father's disappointed looks, my aunt's mess, the blood I just drank in the forest. I've spent so many lovely summer evenings trying not to think about how Snow spends his time in his orphanage, and how at the beginning of each school year he returns too thin and too sad, and it takes Bunce at least a few days to cheer him up. So many hours I've spent in this luxurious bath, listening to Schubert's Ständchen, D 889 and dreaming up Snow wrapped in my arms, relaxed, satisfied, safe and happy.

I start the bath. Daphne gave us so much stuff before we left, that we barely managed to carry it all. ("We've got way too much anyway," she said. She also insisted that all the toilet paper in the supermarket had run out, but that surely was a joke.) With a happy sigh of delight, I open the bag and take out an ultra-soft exfoliating sponge, lavender bubble elixir, vanilla and patchouli body wash, white rose bath bombs, coconut bath oil, and milk and honey creamy foam. I hang the towels on the vintage copper hangers, choose some of my favourite soaps, and start filling the bath with hot, fragrant water.

Simon

I leave Baz in the bathroom and go handle the groceries in the kitchen. I haven't seen a kitchen this big in years, and I ease up into the routine work. I air out the cupboards and take the covers off the chairs, wipe the counters and put vegetables in the fridge, and suddenly I find myself singing.

In one of the children's homes, when I was maybe six or seven, Betsy the cook would sneak me biscuits when I helped her clean the oven, and let me watch her make lunch on Sundays. I pick up some potatoes and start peeling them absently, humming a nursery rhyme she used to sing. The notes dance around me as I once knew them: not as plain matter-of-factly magic spells, evidence of my constant failure, but as small drops of kindness that I've treasured in my childhood with yearning devotion. Precious moments of peace and warmth and attention that were gifted to me alone. I fry onions and ground beef and hum How Many Miles to Babylon, sinking into a foreign and unexpected feeling of almost-home. My old therapist asked me repeatedly about my childhood memories, and I always answered I don't remember anything; I really didn't. I didn't even know that I still had such memories hidden somewhere inside me.

I'm about to put the pie in the oven, singing loudly "If your heels are nimble and your toes are light, you may get there by candle-light", when Baz pops up behind me. He clears his throat, and I jerk and turn around. He stares at me.

"Are you trying to leave?"

"Huh?" I'm confused.

"It's a navigation spell," he sounds hurt.

I lean back on the counter. "Baz, it's a nursery rhyme," I say. And also, I don't have magic, and there is no magic here, and magic isn't everything there is to life, and where on earth could I possibly go—but that's all getting too much to say.

Baz nods. He's still scowling. I sigh and add, "I made a pie."

"You did?" Baz is surprised. I don't blame him. I don't cook much. There are so many pubs and bakeries and sandwich shops around us, Baz eats lunch at university or at work, and on Saturdays we're invited to Lady Ruth's, so I just don't see the point. But sometimes I think that maybe none of these is the actual issue—maybe there's just something too warm and domestic about home-cooked meals, that I don't feel entirely comfortable making it something I do. Something that's happening naturally in our house.

We don't talk about it much—about our place in London, which neither of us feels at home in, and there's still hardly any furniture in there even after three years. About our plans for the future, after Baz finishes his master's degree. About marriage and children. I know Baz wants a family, of course he does; He is the most domestic person I know. He won't admit it, but secretly he wants his father's life precisely: a beautiful home, a beautiful wedding and beautiful children, and a warm home-cooked family dinner at the end of each day.

We've never talked about it. Even after three years, I'm still uncomfortable with the idea of a family of my own, one that I fully belong to. I'm afraid to ruin everything for everyone again. Maybe if Baz would have asked... maybe I would try to deal with it somehow. But he never brings it up. He doesn't suggest that we buy a place that will feel truly ours. He doesn't even offer to cook. And he has no idea that I'm actually able to cook a bit, and may even enjoy it sometimes.

"Yes," I manage to say. "I made shepherd's pie."

Baz stares at me for a few more moments, then takes a step forward and reaches hesitantly at my hand. "Come to the bathtub."

Baz

Snow isn't used to baths. (Big surprise.) As I soak into the warm water and lean back blissfully, he curls up on the other side of the tub, his knees pulled up to his stomach, one hand swirling small cycles in the water and stirring the foam in a restless motion. I nudge his shin lightly with my foot, and he slides backwards instinctively until he's pressed against the wall of the tub, cowering like a trapped animal. I sigh and close my eyes, trying to dissolve into the peaceful inner space where I almost manage to forget about everything.

"How do you feel?" Snow's voice cuts through the steamy fog, small, almost inaudible. I open my eyes.

"Fine. What do you mean?"

"I just thought..." he hesitates. "About the... you know. Magic." He barely whispers the word, as if he's afraid to remind me.

I think about it. When I first stepped into the house, I felt the usual suffocation, but now—inside my homely-familiar soothing bubble bath—it doesn't feel quite as awful. I've missed home, I suddenly realise. I did not expect this. I never felt entirely comfortable in this house, but I guess I somewhat liked it nonetheless. "I feel all right," I say, and add carefully: "I think I missed home a little, maybe." One beat of silence passes, then two, and three, and then Simon's hushed voice cuts through: "I think I did, too."

Simon

I soften into the steamy mist. Everything smells sweet, clean, and soothing, and the water is a little too hot, but Baz's leg pressed against mine is cool enough to send a pleasant shiver through me. I see him watching me; his foot rubs against the bottom of my calf, pressing and loosening and pressing again. I look down at the small ripples my hand is swirling in the water, and dare to say, "Some memories came to me. From... before."

Baz says nothing. I can feel him tensing up. His foot lingers on my calf.

"They're… I don't know." I can't quite put it into words, and these memories are slippery and shaky. It's like trying to remember a smell, a touch. "There's just something about them."

"Something," Baz repeats.

"Something... not just bad."

Baz is quiet. He's waiting for me to continue, but I'm out of words. The air between us is strained like a string, and I can see him frown intently. A few achingly still moments pass, and I'm starting to think frantically about a change of subject, when he rises up suddenly. The water waves around him and splashes on the floor, and he doesn't even notice. "Wait a minute," he says hastily and hurries away.

Baz

I run back to the front hall, water dripping around me and my footsteps wetting the wooden floor, but I don't even think about a wiping spell. Lunging towards our bags still piled by the door, I pull out my violin, carefully wrapped in its case. I wipe my hands, pick it up carefully and run back to Snow, because I think I might be onto something. I might have found a new spell that no one has ever known before, that seemed utterly impossible up till now.

Simon

I manage to settle back into the fragrant bubbly water when Baz returns and pauses by the doorway, holding his violin. The door is half open, the air has cooled a little, and the water is now just the right temperature. He tucks the violin under his chin, lifts the bow and slides it gently over the strings. The opening notes rise up, then go down, and rise up again, in a melodic rhythm of a quiet stream:

"How many miles to Babylon? / Three score miles and ten / Can I get there by candle-light? / Yes, and back again."

The tender wave of music flows on, and on, and on. Baz's movements gradually relax and open up, dissolving into the melody, his eyes closed, his body sways absently from side to side. He is as beautiful as a black-and-white movie character, his pale skin shining like porcelain in the soft light of the bathroom, a dim glow surrounding him like a halo. The musical harmony echoes in the room and swirls around me. I relax into the water, immersed in warmth, comfort, and small drops of kindness that grow bigger and bigger until they become a trickle of rain, then a flood, then a river, then an ocean. The bath is a warm ocean on a golden summer day, and Baz's music is an endless flowing wave that rises and falls and rocks me tenderly, until I'm drifting away in a repetitive rhyme that feels like magic:

"Can I get there by candlelight? / Yes, and back again."

When Baz eventually stops, it feels like hours have passed by, and I realise that my eyes are wet and my breathing is deep. The air I exhale reaches my very bottom. When Baz slides back into the water, I shift towards him like he's gravity itself. I melt against his chest, my head's tilting back to rest on his shoulder, and my words begin to flow on their own.

Baz

Simon scatters incoherent fragments of stories that I don't even try to fully comprehend, and it's impossible anyway, no more than it's possible to line up the waves of the sea. Instead, I just hug him and rub his back over his wings. Tears run down from his eyes, and he doesn't wipe them away. I kiss his wet cheeks. When the flow of stories finally fades away, he curls up against my chest, his body limp, his eyes half closed, his head dropped back.

I'm starting to think he fell asleep when his gaze drifts towards me with an almost imperceptible shift, his breath fluttering against my cheek as he whispers, "Baz?"

"Hmm?" I murmur and kiss his shoulder.

"Do you want to buy a house together?" he asks in a low voice.

I close my eyes and pretend I didn't hear him. We had a long day, and Simon is tired, and his eyes are still swollen with tears. It would be hasty of me to dive into a conversation that he doesn't mean, that he'll do anything to forget about tomorrow morning. I kiss the side of his head, inhale the lavender scent of his hair and pretend to be immersed in a peaceful silence, until Simon squirms out of my embrace. I look up and my eyes meet his—very blue, very wide, and something like a hurt expectation spreads through them as he blinks rapidly a couple of times, but doesn't look away. "What do you think?" He whispers.

I pull him back into my arms and give myself a moment to calm down before the corners of my mouth curve up in a tentative smile. Simon is still looking at me. I'm not sure he's breathing. I'm not sure I'm breathing. I think of my home in Hampshire, of my home in Oxford, of my home at Watford, of Simon who has always been my home.

I let my full smile, wide and dazzled, slip out as I tighten my arms around him and my head tilts towards his. "When you're ready," I murmur into his ear, "you don't have to ask."

Simon laughs and kisses my neck, and even though the water is starting to cool down, my blood is boiling. Simon's wings spread over and wrap both of us in soft, warm leather. His tail slides and twists in the water around my thighs, teasing me. I let out a strangled breath and lean forward to kiss him. Simon smiles at me, puts a hand on the back of my neck and pulls me closer to him, and I can no longer separate teenage fantasies from reality -- and suddenly an unmistakable, loud ding cuts through the house.

Simon leans back with a frustrated groan. I grin at him as I get up and pull him outside, wrapping him in a big, fluffy towel so he doesn’t get cold. "Come on, Snow. Your pie is ready."

I allow myself to take a small, happy leap in the air when he goes in front of me and can't see. Then I grab his hand and walk with my back straight and a wide smile spread over my face—because today I'm the greatest mage who ever lived, and I discovered the hardest spell that ever was: the spell that will make Simon Snow feel at home.

______________________________________________________________

December 2022

Simon

I run into the house and throw the bags by the door. I don't have much time, and I need to get everything ready before Baz finishes his phone call. (He's immersed in a conversation with Penny about their final project. She called just in time, right before I parked, and the conversation can keep him busy for a while, but I better hurry still.) I grab one bag and run upstairs to the bathroom.

Somehow, even though Baz adores baths as much as Cleopatra herself, we haven't taken many of them together over the years. Our flat in London doesn't have a bath, and at first, I tried to suggest that we look at other places, but the prices just keep rising, and it didn't make sense to give it up. It's a lovely place just on the edge of the city, surrounded by lively green meadows, and nearby is a small forest where Baz can hunt. (It's not quite as remarkable as the woods in Hampshire, but at least he doesn't have to drink only rats anymore.) I like joining him there and spread my wings high above the trees when no one can see. (The neighbours got used to the wings—Penny told them I'm a particularly eccentric circus artist, and considering all the creepy guests she and Shepard bring over all the time, it doesn't seem to surprise them in the slightest. But they still don't know I can actually fly.)

We visit his parents on holidays, and Baz sometimes uses Daphne's well-equipped bath, but I don't feel comfortable joining him—because honestly, this is his parents' house. And I'm still not sure I actually like baths, all steamy and oily and so very still.

But I do love Baz, and despite what he believes, I am in fact capable of being romantic. I think.

And the oracle that Shepard met in the pub insisted that 2023 would be the most fortunate year ever known to mankind, so it's quite clear that now is the right time.

The bubbling water fills the tub. I know nothing about all those soaps and foams Agatha brought me, but Baz loves everything, so I reckon it doesn't matter. White thick bath cream mixes with rosy bath salts and pine-green foam, and I start handling the fairy lights and the roses (I'm not sure what to do with them, so I just put the bouquet in the sink.) The room starts to fog up in a sweet-fragranced cloud, just as Baz yells in irritation from the foot of the stairs: "You haven't even started unpacking?!"

Baz

I disconnect the phone call, and finally consume fully the sense of home. We returned from our quest to Edinburgh just the day before Christmas, and Simon would have stayed longer if I hadn't insisted that we can't miss Christmas eve with my family. We don't visit my parents much, but Christmas was settled years ago. My siblings love Simon—he flies the little ones over the lawns, tells adventure stories and plays football with them. Daphne makes an enormous amount of food, and fusses over us. (Simon never turns down an extra serving, and that wins her over every time.) Even my father got used to it eventually: he's still too formal with all of us, especially with him, but when he's settled in his armchair with a book while Simon plays with the children and Daphne chats cheerfully, he seems almost relaxed. Once or twice he even asked me about my "future plans" and glanced at Simon, which is as close to a pressure to settle down as he's probably capable of.

Still, when we returned from Edinburgh Simon insisted that we spend a night in Hampshire before going to Oxford. He said he wanted to "spend some alone time" with me. So we parted ways with Penny and Shepard at Southampton Airport, and rented a car for ourselves.

I'm still not sure how I feel about this house. We haven't been here much since the two weeks of the COVID quarantine, but occasionally when we pass through the area, we find ourselves staying for a few days. Simon feels strangely comfortable here, now that the entire area is a dead spot. He doesn't even have to think about magic. And I feel comfortable because Simon feels comfortable, and because I grew up here, and it will always feel like home to me at least a little. And also, because the silence between us here is both intimate and light. The house is large and spacious, and I can peacefully listen to music and play my violin for hours, without disturbing the neighbours like in our small city apartment. Simon wanders around in the woods (he's already befriended all the creatures in it), and flies miles away in every direction, until his cheeks are flushed and he can't stop smiling. When he comes back, we make dinner, and then he's soft and cuddly as we watch telly together. Honestly, what more could I ask.

I still have a hard time staying for too long in a completely non-magickal environment, but even I came to admit there's something to it. This Normal stillness brings out some sort of a new perspective. As Simon says, songs are just songs here, phrases are just phrases. We rediscover mundanity, and it's unexpectedly soothing at times. And when I look at Simon like that, I can see him as he probably sees himself most of the time: a Normal boy who grew up in a Normal environment and just wanted to belong somewhere. Not the greatest mage who ever lived, not a pool of overflowing and uncontrollable energy, not a weapon in a war that isn't his. Looking at him as he cooks and sings to himself mindlessly, I understand a little better his journey from being that Normal boy to The Mage's soldier and back, and how difficult it is for him to explain—even to himself—what he is now. In these moments I give up completely on explanations, solutions and interpretations, and just hug him or sing along with him for a while, and something about this homely warmth soothes us both. If only I had known before that this very place, which for years has made us both feel so anxious and detached, would give us a home.

Simon

I finish undressing when I hear Baz going up the stairs, carrying the bags. I look around one last time, take a deep breath and come out to the hallway.

"Do you mind helping...?" He starts, and I ignore it because I don’t have time for this right now. My heart is beating too fast. Baz frowns when I step closer and reach out for his hand. "What—" he starts, and I cut him off, "come on."

Baz drops the bags without taking his eyes off me. I pull him by the arm. "Come on, I prepared a bath."

Baz doesn't argue. (He never argues with a bath.) I open the door and the steam surrounds us immediately. Baz inhales sharply and stops in place, looking around at the fairy lights and the flowers and the rosy bubbly water. I pull him more urgently. "Come on, the water is getting cold." He's still staring around, so I start unbuttoning his shirt myself. He comes to his senses when I pull his shirt off completely, and finishes undressing on his own. Then he dips a cautious hand in the bath, lets out a blissful sigh, and slides inside. Step one—check, I think, and my heart is drumming in my chest like at the beginning of a quest.

"So, you finally felt like taking a bath?" Baz asks. He smiles, but I can hear the hesitation in his voice. He knows something is wrong. (I always argue with a bath.)

I clear my throat. I'm naked and shivering a little, though the room isn't cold. "Baz," I start. The steam is fogging up around me, so it's hard to see him, and it helps me to keep going. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Friday?" He furrows his eyebrows.

I let out a frustrated breath. "No! I mean, yes. It's Friday. But what else?"

"Um… the day before Christmas?"

"Right," I start fidgeting restlessly. "And also...?"

Baz leans back and settles lower in the water. He hums quietly for a moment before saying in a softened voice, "Why don't you tell me, Snow?"

"It's… um. Well. It's our anniversary."

Baz is silent for a couple of seconds. "We don't celebrate an anniversary."

"Right," I admit. "But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

"It doesn't?" Baz asks.

"No. I mean, it exists. It's today. It's this night, actually. Which isn't exactly today, but waiting for the night would have ruined the surprise, so..."

"Snow, what on earth are you talking about?" He's starting to get up, and I think he's about to do something very Baz—to take my hand, to hug me, to pull me into the bath—and I just can't let that happen. I inhale dizzily, like at the moment before I spread my wings and fly.

"Baz, wait," I say shakily. "Sit down for a moment. I need to say something."

He soaks back into the water. Through the steam, I can see him frowning and worrying at his lip. I don't have much time left. I grope for the sink, get stung by a rose thorn (who was the bloody idiot who decided roses were romantic), turn around, take a few steps forward and lean on the edge of the bath. It feels ridiculous, it feels insane, it feels like the first moment when I'm rising up in the air and the wind hits my wings.

"So," I start again. "It's our anniversary. Our seventh anniversary," I add.

Baz nods, "Okay."

"And seven is a magickal number," I say. Baz frowns again, so I quickly continue, "And we've been living together for a long time. And I love you."

"I love you too," Baz says softly.

"And someone has to say it already." It's not going the way I planned. Not at all. I feel like I'm wobbling in the air and drifting up and down and rolling over, and then suddenly my wings spread wide and I just fly. "here."

I push the box into his wet palm. It almost slips out of his grip and sinks into the water, and I almost leap into the bath to rescue it, and it's just about the most ridiculous romantic moment ever.

Baz tightens his fingers around the box. He doesn't open it. With one delicate finger, he strokes the black velvet. He looks at me. I rub the back of my neck nervously. "Come on, open it."

Baz opens the box. A white gold ring with a thin dark-violet centre stripe sparkles in the soft, misty light. Baz loves violet. And the contrast will match the colour of his skin. And this is an ancient ring I got from that elf whose village Shepard and I helped save. Baz loves ancient and magickal things.

He still doesn't say anything. He looks at me. Looks at the ring. Looks at me again.

"Well?" I choke out.

Baz puts the ring on his finger. It fits him perfectly, because Baz is perfect. (And also, Penny helped me to spell it to his size.) He reaches a hand out to me and says, "come to the bathtub, Snow."

Baz

I pull Simon to me, tighten my arms around his chest and kiss his neck. I kiss him, and kiss some more, until I'm so hot that my vision blurs. I bite his soft skin carefully and suck one drop of blood. It's an intimately familiar dance that we've perfected over our years together, and still my heart leaps anxiously and then excitedly every single time. Simon presses against me and drops his head back on my shoulder, exposing more of his neck. He rubs my cheek with his warm skin, which always smells like brown sugar and butter and summer. My head spins, and for a moment I lose myself in it, in how good it all is, in how good he is, in how good he is to me. I suck another drop of blood and inhale his sweetness. Simon lets out a strangled whimper and his tail curls and tightens around my thigh. Small, quick breaths emerge from his parted lips. His skin burns against me and he grips my palms tight. I almost start to drown in all of this goodness, but then a flash of light on our clasped hands catches my eye, and I suddenly remember that we still have a conversation to finish.

I let go of his neck and turn his face towards me until his beautiful blue eyes meet mine. Simon blinks as if waking from a dream.

I clear my throat. "So," I say and look at my hand, then back at him. "You were saying something?"

Simon smiles. He pokes my thigh with the pointed end of his tail. "Do I really have to say it?"

My lips curve up in an effort to imitate my old sneer. I'm failing shamefully, of course; A vague, affectionate shadow of a smirk hangs at the corners of my mouth as I raise up an eyebrow and say, "Use your words, Snow."

Simon lets out a wet laugh and buries his face in my shoulder. His muffled voice vibrates against my skin as he asks hoarsely, "Do you wanna marry me?"

Simon

It's the worst proposal in history. I know that. Baz absolutely knows that. I should have done everything differently, and now it's hopeless. Maybe we could just forget about it all, and he'll go back to drinking me.

Baz

It's the best proposal in history. And I mean in all five dimensions Bunce's parents are married in, and in all the other dimensions there are.

"Yes," I say. I lift our joint hands and kiss his knuckles. I run my fingers through his wet hair, stroke his cheek fondly with my thumb, and pull him for another kiss. Simon melts into me and a sigh of relief escapes him. He laughs and says, "Okay." I think he's wiping his eyes. His wings spread over my shoulders and wrap us both. I kiss him again, and again, and again, then slip back down the familiar path to his neck. "On one condition," I murmur against his skin, and kiss a mole there. "After the wedding, we're getting a new house, with a bath."

[strangesmallbard]

okay i just watched an episode of call the midwife that made me abruptly confront several grief-related traumas at once and i feel the need to talk about them, like make everything exist outside my head and join the human experience, or something. please feel no obligation to read this or respond but if you're going through The Grief yourself, know you're not alone.

tw for death, cancer, suicide, alcoholism

i lost three people in a year, and didn't really get to say goodbye to any of them, and that's like? fucked up doesn't describe it LMAO. i lost my grandma and a work supervisor in june 2019, and my dad at the very beginning of 2020. my grandma died in her sleep; she was 89, so it wasn't unexpected, just sudden. she was very anxious toward the end of her life and we didn't have many meaningful conversations. i wasn't medicated or grown up enough to have those conversations, and mostly i wish i'd validated her deep anxiety about death and her anger at her own body when it stopped working. right now i'm acutely grieving her house - it was sold a year later, and i don't think i'll ever forgive my uncle for that.

my supervisor died by suicide. we weren't very close, but he had a strangely large place in my life - he was previously my college professor several years before and i chose that school because of his work in particular. he was also the first out gay person i saw at my school during orientation, and that memory's always stayed with me as i formed a community there.

the last time i saw him was a work event the night before (opening night of a play - i worked at a theatre company.) we sat next to each other and i noticed he seemed sad, tired, or off. i was annoyed with him about a work-related thing that doesn't matter anymore, but i was still friendly because i always try to be friendly. i hoped he was alright. a few days later, my other supervisor told me what happened. he was a kind-hearted guy who was passionate about his work and changed many, many lives for the better. i think about him a lot.

my internship ended right after this without much fanfare or Unpacking. i just left a grieving community and dived right into my first gig, basically running on fumes lmao. my internship was very, very toxic, and i wouldn't realize it for another year. i didn't think about my grandma or my supervisor. i spent the whole summer wanting to call my supervisor and talk to her about what happened. she came to watch closing night of my play, and we didn't talk about what happened. the next day, i plunged into a Huge Depression involving an alcohol dependency and eight seasons of house md.

as i vaguely began to exit my depression, my dad was deadass. DEADASS. diagnosed with stage four lung cancer from smoking cigarettes. like omg. DUDE? the last time i saw my dad was at my grandma's funeral!!!! fucking on the nose. anyway. he was diagnosed in early december 2019, after seeing a doctor for back problems. the back problems were several tumors. everything happened very quickly. the last time i saw my dad alive was in a hospital parking garage on december 24, 2019. we hugged goodbye, but not Goodbye. he was in a rush to get home because he was sick from radiation treatment. i don't remember our last conversation at all.

my mom and i got the call he was dying after i schlepped her to urgent care for a separate medical issue. my mom was too zonked to get on a plane, so i went to the airport. five minutes after i got there, i learned he passed. it was very crowded. i canceled the ticket while crying, and i didn't explain why i was crying. my lyft driver asked if i had a good trip. this now strikes me as hilarious. i learned that his family let him know i was coming. this was likely the last thing he heard. i can't really sum up my dad in a sentence, but he was brave in his own way, a great storyteller, and loved me very much. i wish he realized we had a lot in common, and i wish we had more time. thanks for the adhd dad

anyway, guess what happened in march 2020! yeah shit's been weird. most days i'm honestly fine, and then i remember i designed my dad's headstone (it looks banging) and he'll never meet any kids i have. in three months it'll be three years since we last spoke and i hate that. i'm a very different person, and i've only become this person because three people in my life died in the same ten months. my mom's also been sick and it's a very particular kind of lonely. wow this was cathartic! if you made it here, i love you. if you didn't, i love you! feel my love telepathically! i am 65 years old in vibes, especially if you count the osteoarthritis. i am also maybe 3 or 4 years old and i want a nap and snacks and my stuffed animals, etc.

[lisxdumbr]

GOOD DAY LIS !! I am sorry this has been around a week late, please tell me how could I make it up to you </3 Stuff became busy in school sooo :'> I did typed my responses for a total of an hour too... I apologize for you to type such a lengthy response <//3 but if you did enjoyed doing so, then that is fine ♪ I'd def love to see your previous themes!! but it would be quite troublesome to ask of you that now, so maybe in the future when it crosses your mind once more! I love love LEMON SQUASH CHEERS too, to think that you've made a theme based on that... <3 !! OHH so it's THEM.... it's nnatsume :0 hehe, it makes me quite the curious being after hearing your praises about their prev themes... For now, I'll imagine it as the safest option :> About the gallery thing too, yeaahhh... i would find myself saving pictures for "future use" and then it gets buried </3 Why I think Yuuta is the moon is that he is the quiet one in 2wink (the vibes), but if we think about it... Him and Hinata can interchange between the sun and moon because they function as 2wink, as the sun and moon compliments each other. The following words mightt not be accurate as I do not hold much of a great understanding about them, however I'd still let you know! Hinata is supposedly the one who works in the dark (as the moon) to give shine to Yuuta (as the sun), for Yuu is Hina's sun, the one whom he cares much that even if he becomes insignificant, at least Yuuta can continue to shine. On the other hand, Hina's bright nature makes Yuu thinks he must be the sun, always working hard and excitable about things, when he, Yuuta, seems to feel that he must do something to shine together with Hina and not stay at his zone, selfishly basking in the light of the sun that makes him glow. The 2winkversary is a pleasant read, go insane however you like, you know we would honestly enjoy it either way~

I tend to stray away from unpleasant things in the internet as much as possible, so hearing these stuff that new enstarries have done…. there's much more to uncover, huh? There's so much too in Tiktok, which is common knowledge already. I understand the gatekeeping stuff, it kinda becomes meh when many people like it… like it spreads and gets liked by people who should be out the fandom… This is the reality of things, unfortunately.. The ratio of the unsafe fics to the fluff ones is like,, 8:2. I thought the tag would contain more sfw but OKayy… my expectations crashed so hard after seeing the consecutive unsafe ones. "Help me jesus 0(-(" no words better than this to describe it. ALSO anon lore, because this is significant. Admittedly, I'm one of the new enstarries… I had quite a few immatureness back then due to the magic of misinformation, but I'm now on the track of improving (hopefully). There's this huge eichi cancelling thing which, until now does not stop ? That matter is like a mystery case to me. I got quite immersed in understanding his character, and I guess it's fun to misprove misphrased and poorly researched info that spreads around. I came in the investigation room disliking eichi, I came out of it thinking and felling (this is a reference to that one meme textpost) that I possibly relate to him a bit. That's all, I believe ! This has to be said, because… I ain't here for too long yet. That one post that goes, "liking a media at the right time".. I wish to see that golden era, yanno? But maybe, even if things stands how it is now, there is still hope. You could say, moments are beautiful because they don't last forever, but I personally can't say anything to it yanno;; Speaking of which ! I have plans on bringing a bit of peace on the tag, though I can't say myself if I could actually do so. I just thought that it's interesting to try my hand at writing </3 The idea scares me, however it is wonderful if you think about it. I'll do my best to shorten this ask response (which isn't really happening) ♪ Yuuta bug protector Lis.. omg !! that is such a cute motivation… I am so impressed ??!?!? he's just like me… AND PLEASEE tell me about the fun fact about scorpions!! I guess talking about most insects are alright, except the dreaded and terrifying butterflies-but-in-their-baby-phase. (i aint gonna say the word. but generally, it's the W**m word… help me. ) The only thing I could say to you is that I only knew monster high, but vaguely and only the popular characters through their appearances. I haven't gotten the chance to watch them before, since we had no cable TVs ;; djdgfkjgdfdk I'm happy to know bout Skelita either way, it makes me think what if things were different, what words would i had spoken to you instead? !! so ! about the final project ideas, let me send that in another ask <3 I always have to remind myself that gacha can return later, so focus on saving up for events first… I am so sorry to the fallen soldiers (spent dias) we have deployed in the battlefield (gacha pulls)… One day, they will be avenged <33 yes, tw stars is like kr stars too. i just dont know if en server will follow through their system because.. why is en server's ribbon shop not including outfits (they're event point locked instead).. my tw server dias are alive and breathing again ! "Noir Neige my beloved and the ultimatum of my insanity"… I love your words so much…. It is the ultimatum of insanity.. omg.. I grinded Ritsu out of objectiveness and spite (to Rei)… He is here with me.. in taiwan server.. I'll prepare a tea party♪

Fun fact, I never really had many ritsus.. But he comes home easily, what a good boy. MAY YOU GET MEOW MEOW RITSU !! that card is so cute… myon myon! It's so hilarious when you think of your friends getting your oshis instead of you. God help us. Being an EccentricsP will never be just a be phase to me.. it is eternal ;; and Thank you for the wishes !! <3 if rei would dare to show up in my pulls, he should prepare x100 amount of apologies for the mental damage pulling for him cost me. that $%&^*#$@#!!! hmff. also kidnapping your yuuta services are free of charge, with tape in the mouth and all ♪

That concludes my response !! please enjoy this plentiful amount of dish, i have to serve my final project ideas as the dessert <3 You don't have to reply to this all to save time ( i reassure you!) and just read this like newspaper so we can have new messages if that's fine with you! , like the gacha part,, & if you have nothing to say ! Conserve your energy for better things !! Once again, I enjoy reading through your responses, they're so ??!??! respectful, even if there is conflict, you know how to take it in a way that isn't harsh. i love that for you. See you~ I don't have to mention the valkatsuki collab, fine halloween and modelgumi story in here, but ya know those ones(so golden!), might mention in a fresh ask.

— 🌻.

HELLOOO SUNFLOWER. I apologize for taking so many days to reply </3 I understand your struggle, school is just. Clenches fists. But it's ok !! You're not forced to reply or anything, so this is already an act of kindness from your side <3 ok, let's see

I would love to show you my themes, I promise I will scroll down my gallery to see if I have any screenshot, even if they're poor quality,, (I hope I find at least some themes) and yes <3 my friends are so cool, but I don't want to talk about the past too much because I'll get nostalgic and cry ahwbfjejd (im not ok)

ALSO, WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT YUTA??? you're so right, I love the little analysis you made. They're an eclipse, maybe that's why Hinata is the day and Yuta is the sunset.. I may love them too much, falls to my knees.

Yes, I was actually thinking about the new community just today, I feel really burnout from these people lately. I miss my friends, I miss the tiny place we held but, you know, "0(-("

Omg anon lore, I kinda imagined it 👀 I recognize patterns of speech (I talked about this before actually) and I indeed didn't recognize yours from old anons from enst community. Immaturities are ok, as long as we learn from them and regret them. I remember I was very furious with TikTok (idk why I'm talking in past, I hate them) because of the misinfo they were spreading on purpose and the canceling issues. If you believe that you should cancel Eichi instead of understanding the moral value and greyness of his character, maybe enstars isn't for you...? Akira wouldn't like them either.

That being said, welcome! Eichi is permanently canceled, this has been going on since the game first came out tbh, don't worry too much about it. AND PLSSS YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME. I'll use this as a confession since ik most followers don't read my anon interactions so ! I am actually a silly Eichi kin (low-key) I remember I didn't like him much at first and then I was like "he's ok" and then I read checkmate and I was like "h- ..hhh-" and yeah, mecore.

Your message is really heartwarming, yes, moments are beautiful because they don't last forever, and I cherish those moments like anything in the world. That made me happy, the happiest, and sometimes I wish I could go back and express my gratitude much more often. They say you don't appreciate things until you loose them, and that's how I feel sometimes. I hope this golden day returns to us one day, maybe it'll be different, a different form of it, but light still.

ALSOOO YOU WANT TO TRY WRITING? that's so cool, I wish you the best !!!! I could never honestly, writing intimidates me a lot but wahh, you're really brave about it.

ー・ー・ー ♡ ー・ー・ー

I love Yuu so much because he's such a scaredy cat <333 I love how. He's the type of teen to go "I'm so mature, I'm not a kid anymore, I'm an adult >:(" and then behaves like a child because, he gets so scared, and so excited about the little things of life. AND I ADORE THAT ABOUT HIM, it's the best thing ever seeing him acting as a person his age in such a complete organic way, I just want him to enjoy the phase he's going on without having to worry about being "stronger" or "more mature" because that gets him to feel bad about himself and deprecate sometimes and it's aughhhh :(((( let him enjoy things and have fears, that doesn't make him less valid than the rest.

Ok so the fun fact about scorpions is that. well, you know hoe there are little scorpions? Because there are the big ones and then the little ones, we have a different name for the small ones, alacranes or alacrán in singular. Well, when one of them stings you, you can later on feel when one is around because your, wound..? will start beating, like a presence. It's kind of dreadful but useful if you don't want to. be attacked. (I understand your fear towards the other insects, they're. yeah 0(-( )

I'm glad you know MH !! I saw it literally being created (I was a child when the first 3 dolls came out and I fell in love ever since) and ! Yeah I never watched through cable TV. I remember I saw the webshow in YouTube and then I bought the pirate movies in the market and played them in the DVD <33 good times. I miss the goth aesthetic they had so much.

I'm glad your savings are good again !! I have. 900 dia in JP and I'm thinking If I should grind for that Kohaku because ahaH crazy:bP here. I want him. I missed my bees, 8 months without seeing my beloved :( (because I will not count USA). Please let this be a signal for me getting kitten Ritsu. I haven't gotten anything from the free pulls so 🙏🙏 being EccentricsP is the best feeling ever, I hope you continue to enjoy them ! (And pls read Secret Labyrinth I'm insane over them)

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY AND LIFE !!! people do tend to say I talk in a respectful way even when I disagree with things, I see that as an advantage <3 have a good one !

[megumixtsumiki]

Gosh, I can't with these people shippering itafushi sukufushi, gofushi and all the other somethingfushi yaoi ships but went rage when you mention huge hints about Tsumiki calling it weird. I mean how is it weird, they're no blood siblings? Sigh

Hello dear anon.

Ok, let's take a breath together.

Inhale, 1-2-3-4... and exhale, 1-2-3-4...

I know. I totally get it. It's very frustrating.

This fandom's ship culture has turned sour and it's very unfortunate because shipping is so much fun.

And it’s not just about megumiki. It’s gojohime and any ship that the hive mind in general doesn’t like.

Instead of respecting each other's ships, it's become about how this ship is toxic and that ship is toxic too and you shouldn't like it and how wrong it is that you like it.

It’s extremely arrogant to think that you can police what others like or don’t like because you think people don’t understand the implications of a ship. You see that a lot in this fandom.

LE SIGH indeed!

If I may... it's not that megumiki doesn't have its fair share of "toxic". I personally head canon Megumi and Tsumiki probably do have an "unhealthy" attachment to each other. They were abandoned by their parents, after all. Each other is all they had.

As you say, they're also not blood related. So even if they call each other "brother" and "sister", they are choosing those labels for themselves. They could easily call each other "childhood friends". I personally think it's sweet they think of each other as siblings because it means its a very soulful bond that goes beyond blood.

They chose each other.

I like to think Gege was very intentional about them not being blood related.

But go ahead and explain that to a keyboard warrior who is only interested in standing on their moral high horse saying the kids should be protected from incest without actually understanding what it entails to actually protect kids who are victims of incest.

By the way, I've had to work with children who suffered from abuse and neglect, including incest, in my professional career as a social worker. It was heartbreaking. My shipping megumiki has absolutely nothing to do with those children.

But... whatever.

You know what I learned and decided upon recently?

Humans in general are dumb. Choose your battles. Love your ship. How's that for a slogan?

megumiki has become my self-insert, self-indulgent ship and I decided not to care what anyone else thinks about it.

And that's what shipping is about anyways. It's about how a ship moves your soul. It's not about the logic behind the ship.

In all honesty, takes about how a ship in jjk is toxic because of whatever logical reasons someone can come up with are so stupid to me because when we ship, we don't ship with our brain, we ship with our heart.

We also ship according to our psychoemotional level of maturity. So to judge someone for shipping something toxic when they are not able to see that yet for themselves is also arrogant and downright mean.

The irony is always when people denouncing other ships they don't like for "logical reasons", ship a pairing and clearly very much LOVE the pairing with their heart, and then use their brain to justify why they like the ship.

There's nothing wrong with loving a ship unless you're putting down other ships.

What's the point honestly? To feel better about yourself? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess it's kind of relatable.

Anyways, since I've opened that can of worms...

You know what pisses me off the most? It's when fans say that if you ship a hetero ship and say you don't see a particular pairing as gay, it's because you're homophobic.

🤦🏻‍♀️ someone please... the nerve...

My internet history be like:

*closes incognito tabs with gay media*

Also I'm bisexual and my favorite OTP pairings are mostly gay ships (with a few exceptions).

How would people who only ship gay ships like it if I said they are heterophobic and biphobic?

Honestly. When did shipping heteroships get canceled?

The oppressed became the oppressor...

Anyways! Thanks for reaching out and ranting with me.

Here's to seeing more megumiki moments in jjk! Fandom is going to loose their shit if Gege draws something ambiguous... that or they'll probably cancel the moment and completely deny the idea that Megumi saw Tsumiki as anything more than a sister.

But hey, to each their own. It's ok. 

Haters gonna hate.

[lythea-creation]

Escape - Touka Kirishima x fem Kaneki reader

summary: Being the twin of a half-ghoul and in love with an actual ghoul isn't exactly the safest way to live for a mere human. Will you decide to escape when you're confronted with that reality?

warnings: throwing up, kinda torture, pretty angsty, it's Tokyo Ghoul (come on)

word count: 2.285

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

----------

As my last university lecture had been canceled, I decided to visit my brother and get myself a delicious coffee at the Antique. But when I walked through the park my plans suddenly changed.

Touka was sitting on a blanket across from a girl I did not know. I was irritated to see them having a picnic.

My (e/c) eyes met Touka's violet ones and the world seemed to fade away for a moment.

Our staring stopped when the other girl started talking to her.

I brushed it off and continued my way but was taken off guard by the other girl's loud voice: “Hey, (f/n)! Why don't you join us?”

Surprised and completely overwhelmed I moved over to them. Considering that this girl was yelling through the park she would not let me go away easily anyway.

Hesitantly I looked down at the duo, not sure if it was actually fine to sit down and join them.

Touka apparently noticed my insecurity and inched a bit to the side to give me more space.

“Hi! I'm Yoriko Kosaka, Touka's best friend”, she introduced herself energetically.

“I'm (f/n) Kaneki”, I said smiling softly at her.

Honestly I did not know why I had ended up in such a situation. Touka and I had never even done anything together outside of Antique, although we did come along well.

“You don't have to join us if you don't want to”, Touka clarified.

Yoriko hit Touka's arm in a scolding manner whispering: “You can't say something like this. You'll make her feel unwelcome.”

I could not help but laugh. It was odd to see Touka being treated so casually.

Yoriko was visibly relieved about my reaction. She spread several delicious looking dishes in front of us. “Feel free to eat anything you like. I made more than enough anyway”, Yoriko offered.

“Thanks. That's really kind”, I replied trying some of the food that tasted even better than it looked.

But I was worried about Touka. What was she supposed to do with all the food placed in front of her?

“So how did you two get to know each other?”, Yoriko wondered.

“Oh, nothing spectacular. My brother works at the same coffee shop as Touka”, I explained.

“You have a brother?! I always wanted to have siblings! Is there a huge age gap between the both of you?”, she questioned.

“Yoriko, you should calm down”, Touka scolded her.

“Ken is two minutes older than me. But most people guess that I'm the older twin”, I proclaimed.

That made Yoriko talk non-stop.

After a while Touka excused herself to search for a restroom.

I secretly watched her before vanishing there myself. Luckily no one else was here.

“Touka, you have to let it out”, I reminded her.

“That's none of your business”, she snapped at me, though her voice sounded pained.

“You're only going to hurt yourself”, I declared.

“I don't care. Yoriko made this food for me. I won't throw it up”, she resisted.

“Just because your body can't handle the food, doesn't mean you don't appreciate it. Yoriko wanted to make you happy, right? If you sit here suffering because of her food, that's the exact opposite of Yoriko's wishes.”

As Touka stayed silent I continued: “It's not your fault, Touka. Throwing the food up, won't turn you into a bad friend or a monster. You shouldn't punish yourself because your body doesn't work the way you want it to. If you could tell her Yoriko would understand. It would hurt her to see you suffer like that.”

Fortunately my words had the right effect and made her through up.

When she unlocked the door and left the stall, she pulled out a toothbrush and paste and began brushing her teeth.

After finishing, Touka eyed me in a strange way before returning to Yoriko.

“You two really have to like hanging around each other considering how long you made me wait”, Yoriko considered.

“Sorry”, I apologized sheepishly.

“Don't worry about it. I'm glad that Touka has at least one more friend. Her social skills aren't the best after all”, Yoriko chuckled.

“And I'm the mean one”, Touka stated sarcastically making us laugh.

When the sun started setting we decided to go home, although Touka and I went to Antique.

On the way Touka suddenly pushed me into an abandoned alleyway.

“You should stop that”, she advised me.

“Stop what?”, I replied confused.

“Hanging out at the Antique, being around ghouls all the time”, she enlightened me.

“You want me to stay away from Ken, you and the others?”, I questioned irritated.

“Exactly. You've no clue what you're getting yourself into. A few hours ago you told me that throwing up Yoriko's food wouldn't turn me into a monster. But you forgot one important fact. I already am a monster”, she claimed.

My head shook automatically. “No, you're not. Not all ghouls are monsters.”

Touka pinned me against the wall of a building and activated her kakugan.

My breathing quickened on its own as our faces were barely inches apart.

Touka did not know that I had a crush on her. Instead my reaction only confirmed her suggestion that I was too naive and actually just realized that I was afraid of her.

Her kagune painted everything behind her red as I could see nothing in the background but her red wing(s).

“You want to scare me off? Then what about Yoriko?”, I asked her, desperately trying to calm down.

“That's a different story. She doesn't know anything about my true identity and I'm the only ghoul she actively interacts with”, Touka proclaimed.

“What do you expect me to do? It's not like I could just disappear. Ken is my twin and he has already become famous throughout the ghouls and the CCG. I can't escape anyway”, I resonated.

Touka was obviously upset.

“If you want me to leave you alone I'll do it. But why did you let me join your picnic then?”, I wondered.

“Yoriko just asked me if I knew you and then invited you. It's not like it's been my decision”, she mumbled.

“You could have lied or told me to leave. Usually you're reckless in relation to other people's emotions”, I recalled.

Touka glared at me. Was that her last resort?

“I never asked you or your brother to enter my life, okay? You pretend to know my situation and feelings, but you know nothing! I'll never get the chance to live the life of a human”, she exclaimed.

“What do you think is so great about being a human? You consider yourself a monster. But there simply is no species that is more of a monster than humans”, I shot back.

She froze. Her face obviously revealed her shock.

“Maybe I don't know what it's like to be a ghoul. And you're right that I practically know nothing about you, but it's the same for you. You always dream of being a human without really knowing how it is.” The volume of my voice decreased during my accusation.

I gently pushed Touka away and walked without thinking about directions. I was not in the mood to go to the Antique anymore.

By now darkness had settled over the city. In the distance I could see the street lights illuminating the crowd on the main street.

Suddenly I felt my back forcefully hitting a wall.

“You smell strange”, a low voice stated.

My body hurt from the impact of the kick my stomach had taken, but I did not need to be a genius to know that a ghoul was standing in front of me.

“Who are you? What are you?”, the ghoul asked me.

I had never seen him before. At least he did not seem to be one of the mindless predators. Otherwise I would have been long dead.

I forced myself back to my feet.

Hoping that Touka would search for me was the only option I had right now. So I had to get more time.

A loud cracking sound and an awful pain ripped me out of my thoughts as a scream left my lips. Unfortunately the scream was swallowed by the many cornered streets surrounding me. There was no chance to tell from which direction it had come.

“If I ask you a question, you answer. Got that?”, the ghoul growled letting go of my now broken left arm.

I nodded while suppressing my tears.

The ghoul buried his face in my hair and inhaled my scent deeply.

Everything inside of me screamed to flee. But that was impossible.

“So?”, the ghoul drew my attention back to him.

“I'm a mere human”, I answered slightly out of breath from the incredible pain.

“That would have been my guess too, considering how delicate you are. But something about you is different. Tell me”, he demanded leaving my hair alone.

“Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about”, I lied.

Although I was scared, I had to protect the people of the Antique.

The ghoul became furious burying his nails in my right arm and left hip making me wince.

“Don't lie to me! How did you survive an encounter with a ghoul just shortly before I met you?”, he spit out shaking me brutally.

“What? She's a ghoul?!”, I faked dismay.

I hated the way my voice was shaking and yet I could not help it.

Suddenly the ghoul broke down pulling me with him as his claws were still resting inside of me.

“Idiot”, Touka murmured as she cut off the fingers of the ghoul instead of pulling his claws out of me to prevent me from bleeding out.

Her frame appeared to be blurry.

“Don't dare to pass out!”, she threatened me and pulled me into her arms.

I listened to her heartbeat as she carried me toward Antique.

“It's so great to be a human”, I groaned sarcastically coughing up a bit of blood.

“That's why I told you to get away”, Touka shot back.

“As if that … would solve … the problem”, I responded. “Isn't it hard for you … to carry my bleeding form? I have to smell like a feast … to you”, I assumed.

“Stop this nonsense!”, she shouted angrily.

I smiled tiredly at her. “But I knew that you would come for my rescue … You're the safest place for me.”

Her grip around me tightened slightly.

I felt myself getting weaker leading my hands to hold onto Touka's shirt.

“I don't want to die”, I whispered, silent tears flowing down my cheeks.

“And you won't. Just stay conscious”, Touka encouraged me.

Her pace had already developed into running.

“Touka?”

“Hm?”

“Can you stand still for a moment, please?”

“I thought you didn't want to die?”

“Please”, I begged her.

She slowed down before coming to a complete hold, careful not to shake me too much.

I forced myself up a bit to be on eye level with her.

Concern was evident in her eyes, which was rare for her to show.

I gathered all my courage and strength and kissed her. It was short. But for this moment I felt full of life again.

Touka looked at me surprised when I pulled back.

“You should start running again”, I considered.

Touka was fast. That was something I had gotten to know very early. But I had never seen her run this fast before.

When we arrived at the Antique it had already closed. So there were no customers to horrify with my awful state.

The shocked gasps and Ken's worried voice were the last things I heard before finally passing out.

When I came back to my senses, pain was the first thing I felt.

Thankfully the curtains of the room I was in had been closed.

“(f/n)”, Ken's soft concerned voice reached my ears.

He was sitting next to me eyeing me carefully.

I groaned in pain as I tried to sit up.

Ken immediately stopped me, telling me to rest.

“How much time has passed?”, I wondered my throat feeling uncomfortably sore.

Ken helped me drink some water before answering: “Two days.”

“Touka ...”

“Is at school”, he answered my unspoken question.

“Actually skipped school”, Touka corrected him as she entered the room.

“Ken. Could you leave us alone for a moment, please?”, I requested.

He nodded. “Of course.”

None of us knew how to start after Ken had left the room. So for a while we simply looked at each other in silence.

“Touka, I'm sorry. Kissing you in such a moment after already being rejected … I didn't really give you a chance to turn me down. It's been selfish and unfair”, I recognized.

All of a sudden Touka kissed me passionately. It was way more intense than our first one and filled with countless emotions.

“You really got yourself into this now. Too late to escape”, Touka warned me. “I'm not going to let you walk around on your own again. You know that, right?”

“I think I can handle that”, I stated smiling.

From that day on Touka and I spent every free minute together. The thought of escaping never crossed my mind for a second as I had never been so happy in my entire life.

[casspurrjoybellbittner]

Wreckless - Re-Schedule Appointment

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

Unfortunately I'm too busy on Friday to have lunch of any kind, especially a fun one. I eat a granola bar in between meetings and call it good enough. By the time I leave the office I'm starving and instead of going home and feeling bad about the fact that I'm not with Emmett, I decide to go shopping. I can eat out and hopefully find some swim trunks so that I can sleep in tomorrow morning. I told Emmett in no uncertain terms that I wasn't going to look like a club boy but that doesn't mean I want long, shapeless trunks either.

Finding something cute and presentable is proving more difficult than it should be. I guess if we were going to the ocean or something I'd just wear whatever but this is Peter and Tristan's and should be a fairly chill atmosphere. I don't want a speedo or anything but I can get away with something slightly more flattering than a paper bag. I give up and stop at Target on the way home. I need a few basics, like tissues and sunscreen because let me tell you, this Irish boy does NOT tan.

I'm heading towards the paper goods when I stop in my tracks and see their pride display. They have trunks. Short but not too short, bright, rainbow trunks. I have to have them. I will try them on at home and hope that I get to sleep in tomorrow. I get home, toss my mail on the counter and try on my shorts. They're adorable. Perfect. I am set. I go through my mail and open the one from John's Hopkins. My doctor has set up my bi-annual tests here since getting to his office would be a huge pain in the ass.

Unfortunately, the back and forth between the offices means that I'm getting the notice three days before my appointment. Literally, it's scheduled for Monday. At 8:15 am. I can't do a whole morning of scans and blood work without giving work some notice. Megan is good but that's asking the impossible, especially after I was out of the office last week with the cold. I'll have to reschedule. I'll call tomorrow and see if I can get hold of someone. It is way past time for comfy pants.

I change and take out my contacts and then stare into my freezer hoping ice cream will magically appear. Emmett has some but he's with Andy which is good, he should see his friends. I don't have any here but if I did, I know he'd want me to see them. Well, Tristan, I guess and he's making sure we see each other tomorrow. Still, I miss him. I curl up on my uncomfortable couch and watch anime but it's just not the same as being with him.

********

I wake up earlier than I plan to on Saturday but my body isn't used to sleeping much past eight. It's the second morning in a row I've woken up without Emmett. My God, I sound like a needy koala. It's just two days and I need to get a grip. Still, I can't help wondering if he's awake yet too. That's stupid, of course he is because he's working today. Right? I call the doctor's office and am told that they don't have an open appointment slot for another two months. I'll probably be in Michigan by then so I just cancel. Missing one check-up isn't going to kill me, they always come back fine anyway. At least it's done.

I hit the gym and it's more than time because I've been slacking since I was sick. Staying with Emmett makes it harder to go although I'm getting all sorts of exercise at his place. Especially my throat. Damn, I wonder if he can pick me up a little bit early or if we can be a little bit late. I'm not sure I can deal with hours in public when I'm so close to him and so pent up. Swim trunks don't exactly hide erections very well. Emmett arrives at 1:15 after I beg him to come as early as he can. He smiles when I practically pull him into the apartment and attack him.

"Damn boy, it's nice to see you too," he says when I give him a second to speak.

"Missed you a little bit."

"Missed you too, Finnegan. What if I get you onto the counter and show you just how much?"

Divine, it sounds divine.

"Please."

I don't care if he wants to fuck or suck me off, I am desperate and will take anything right now. I just need him. He lifts me as I jump and my hand pushes my mail onto the floor. He's a gentleman and picks it up.

"What's this, darling?"

He has my John's Hopkins letter on which I've written 'canceled' across the top.

"Just an appointment, they didn't send it to me until today and thought I could just waltz in there Monday with no notice. I'll go when I'm back in Michigan."

He backs up and leans against the back of the couch, letter still in hand.

"Is this about the leukemia?"

"Yeah, it's nothing, just my scans and blood work. I just did them six months ago, Emmett, I'm fine."

I do NOT want him to freak out about this but we haven't really talked about it since he found out. He doesn't seem quite ready to drop it.

"Can't they get you in later in the week or something?"

"That had been my thought too but "nope, it's Monday or two months from now. Really Emmett, it's not a big deal. You're supposed to be over here ravaging me."

But he's not and makes no move to pick up where he left off.

"I don't like it, Finnegan. I don't like thinking about you in Michigan and I definitely don't like you missing your appointment. Why can't you go on Monday?"

"Because I have a job, Emmett. I can't just cancel my morning."

He puts the letter back on the counter, steps back and crosses his arms over his chest.

"You're the Vice president, I think you probably can. Look, I'm probably overstepping..."

"We did talk about you micromanaging my life, Emmett."

"This isn't what you wear or if you cuss or what time you come home from work, Finnegan, it's important. I really need you to call them back and tell them you'll keep the appointment. Don't brush it off, please."

I would go if I could, it's just not worth the trouble. 

"Look, I get that you're concerned about my health and it's sweet, really but this isn't a big deal."

"It is to me. If you don't want to do it for yourself, will you do it for me?"

How am I supposed to say no when he puts it like that? After all he's done for me? And it's not like he's asking me to do something I don't want to do or shouldn't, quite the contrary.

"Is it that important to you?"

"It is. It's going to drive me fucking crazy, Finnegan and I much prefer all the other ways you make me crazy."

I don't like seeing him upset, especially when I can fix it. 

"Fine, if it's gonna keep you up at night I will call. They may have already given it to someone else but I will ask."

He smiles and relaxes a bit and I pick up my phone. Ten long, mostly 'on-hold' minutes later I am re-booked.

"All set, can we get back to important things now?"

"We certainly can."

[yryn-tania]

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Hi!! I'm Yryn, or you can just call me Aspen! I go by She/They pronouns! I'm autistic and have ADHD, and yes, these ARE diagnosed by a medical professional. Some other of my diagnoses include Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. Before you ask, yes I am getting help, yes I am on medication, and yes, I'm in a much healthier state of mind than I was years ago. My anxiety is still pretty bad, but I'm not entirely debilitated by it anymore.

I'm an artist from Canada, with my preferred medium for choice being paper and pencils. I also love using my nice Copic markers, acrylic or watercolour paints, among many other mediums! I am also learning the guitar, and have been playing it for 4 years now! My current models I have are an Epiphone Les Paul, and an Epiphone SG Muse.

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