#like Excuse me. their friend kevin is right there dancing his heart out!

[stillthe1]

5 (& maybe 16) for the fluffy prompts w lestappen 💕

1600k of lestappie following these prompts for u, c!!! 🩷🩷🩷 i tried to make it fun enough n maybe horny enough, so... yeah. kind of nsfw? don't really know what came to me. non-betaed so all mistakes r my own 🩷

Charles’ had the worst fucking weekend, Miami was not kind to him, as he found himself battling with a Haas and losing. And sure, he respects Kevin very much, but come on. Really, Ferrari?

(Maybe he should’ve let the Mercedes rumors continue–)

So it’s not a surprise, really, when Pierre forces him to go out. Let go of the feelings of the weekend, and maybe he’s right. As the music starts to get to him, Pierre comes back with a Cosmo for Charles and a Zombie for him. Fruity and bright, as Miami, non?

As soon as he tastes his cocktail, he makes a face. Holy hell. “Pierre, this is strong. Did you ask for more vodka?” His nose is scrunched up, and his eyes may or may not be watering. Sue him, he knows he’s a lightweight, but this was another level.

He already felt a bit drunk, and it was the start of the night. Welp. Let’s hope he doesn’t do anything too wild, or he would have to sit through another Ferrari meeting about the brand and how he’s supposed to act. 

Fuck Ferrari.

He lets go of the constant voices in his head that sound like Fred, and his management team. Let’s go of all the things and just dances around, listening to Bad Bunny singing about whatever – he just hopes it’s not Max’s song. He needs Max out of his brain for a night. For an hour, at least.

“So,” Pierre's smile is blinding, too bright for today, but he’s still Pierre, so Charles will ignore it for now. “Did you see who was in the paddock this weekend? It was insane!”

And trust Pierre to get all the gossip from whoever he gets it, always the first to know everything. And Charles, too. Being best friends has benefits, sometimes. 

“Huh? Who?” He thinks about guessing, it’s a fun game around the USA, the most random celebrities always show up and act like it’s their catwalk. Whatever. “David Beckham? Or maybe Shakira? Carlos told me way too many times about her leave to Miami…”

“No, Charles! Well, I don’t know, but!” Pierre’s hands do a strange movement, and Charles thinks he’s had too many drinks already. “It was Martijn Garrix and Daniel!”

“Daniel?” His voice sounds weird even to his ears, all flat and no energy behind it. “Ricciardo? What were they doing here?”

He knows that Daniel is Red Bull’s third driver, but he was around in Australia too. Did he really need to be around that much? Around Max—

Do not think about Max. Charles, do not think about Max. Abort, abort, abort.

“They were here to support Max, or so Danny told me. Oh! And they told me they’ll be here too, so we’ll see them!”

Fuck. Fuckity fucking fuck. Merde. No, no, and no. He wanted a night free of Max Verstappen, free of the thoughts he had around him, the way his heart started beating faster and faster around him. He had a bad weekend, a bad season, and a bad year, already. He needed this. Fuck.

He feels his breath come in short, and the familiar feeling of panic settles inside his chest. He excuses himself from Pierre quickly, noticing his friend’s concerned stare, and walks quickly to the patio of the club. 

He needed space. He needed to be alone for a minute. His vision is blurry, and for a moment he thinks it’s the alcohol. But no, fucking hell. He’s tearing up. At a goddamned club in Miami. What a great year, huh?

He sits on one of the couches with a view of the sea and breathes in the salty air. He closes his eyes to avoid tears, or worse, a whole breakdown. He does not have time for a breakdown, no matter what his therapist said.

He needs his bubble of personal space and some minutes to himself–

“Charles?”

He opens his eyes, a bit reluctantly, and looks up at Max. How did he find him? Has he been looking around, praying to catch him? Or was he just casually walking by and thought, huh, let’s stop a moment to talk to my ex-nemesis? Fun times, hah.

He realizes his eyes are full of tears at the same time as Max's. Max’s eyes widen, sitting quickly by his side. It feels nice, and Charles suppresses a sob.

His walls are down, a combination of alcohol and Max’s proximity, and all he wants is to cuddle up to Max, give in to the urge he has always had and kiss the freckle that frames Max’s lips. 

“Charles, hey, love. Can you hear me?” Max’s voice is soft, and it scratches all of Charles’ needs. He nods, biting his bottom lip and trying not to cry. “Okay, can you look at me?”

He shakes his head no and prays Max does not read into it. It’s just. Max’s eyes have always been Charles’ obsession. Deep blue, with the prettiest lashes known to mankind, and. Max always says so much with his eyes, wears his heart on his sleeve, and makes Charles feel untethered. 

“Tell me what I can do for you, honey. Please.” The emphasis on honey makes Charles tear up even more. Fuck, he needs Max. He needs Max for himself, maybe show everyone around them – Daniel Ricciardo, especially — that Max Verstappen is his.

But he is not. They’re not dating. They’re nothing. Charles always feels lost when he sees Max direct his soft smiles at someone that’s not him. Feels like he has traveled through time, feels the scratchy texture of the Sauber fireproofs, and feels the indifference in Max’s eyes when he looked at him back then.

Charles always tries to not be selfish and tries not to ask too much. But right now, with Max asking him what he needs, he can’t lie.

“Stay?” His voice sounds scratchy, even though he has avoided crying for now. He refuses to look up. He doesn’t want to look at Max while he feels like this. Lost, jealous, possessive. 

He feels Max’s nod against his arm, and he startles. Since when are they so close? He can smell Max’s cologne and it’s intoxicating, spicy but with enough vanilla to feel cozy. 

He feels Max’s sigh against his shoulder, and he lets himself enjoy the moment. Enjoy Max’s proximity, the smell of his sandalwood shampoo, everything that makes him Max.

It’s enough to calm him down. Enough for him to see things a bit clearer, without that much panic taking over his brain. Max is here. Max is sitting by his side, when he should be celebrating his incredible win, getting drunk with Daniel and Martijn.

But he stayed. Because Charles asked him to. It’s too much for his brain to catch up, and he can’t stop himself. He can’t help it, not with the amount of alcohol his Cosmopolitan had, not while having Max cuddling up with him.

“Max…” 

Max looks up at him, blue eyes full on display and face smushed against Charles’ arm. Fuck, he looks so beautiful. So freaking cute. Charles almost wants to kiss his nose, but he must refrain.

“Max, can I kiss you?” 

Max nods quickly, biting his bottom lip, worrying it under his teeth, and turning it a very pretty pink. As pink as the blush in Max’s ears, cheeks, and neck. He looks edible.

“Took you long enough, Leclerc. I thought you would never ask.” His smirk is ruined by the nervousness his eyes show, and really, Charles has never been patient. 

And he has always wanted Max Verstappen. So he cannot be blamed if their first kiss is a bit rushed, a bit too quick. Max smiles against his lips, and everything feels like a movie. He almost expects the techno music around them to switch to Taylor Swift.

Charles giggles, finally giving in and kissing Max’s nose, too. 

Max takes a hold of his face with one of his big hands and Charles feels the world around them disappear, his eyes focused on Max’s pretty, pink plump lips. He presses their lips together once more, and it feels like home. Max tastes like gintonic, a bit minty, and it’s heaven. Charles, being his bratty self, bites Max’s bottom lip, and finally gives fully into the kiss. 

It’s slick, hot and fucking perfect. Nothing could have prepared Charles for this, no matter how many fantasies he had as a teenager, not even the ones years later. This was his own personal heaven, with Max’s hand caressing his face softly and kissing the lights outta him.

He stops the kiss to breathe, and smiles at Max, dimples out in display. It feels unreal, having Max so close. So so so close that he can see the damned lip freckle, the one that has taunted him for years.

Without giving it too much tought, he closes in again, and it’s intoxicating to see Max close his eyes. He’s expecting a kiss, but Charles bites his freckle. Gently, extremely gentle, but. It’s there, it’s taunting Charles, and he had to take action.

Max moans, and Charles has a full-body reaction to it, and the urge to grind against Max’s thigh is too big to ignore it. 

They need to get out of here, right now. 

Or Charles will create a big mess for both Ferrari and Red Bull, they will call it Il Predestinato and the Golden Boots.

“Max, Max. Please, let’s go to the hotel. Please.”

He’s begging, pleading with the worst case of bedroom eyes he has ever used against someone. But somehow it works, and Max gets up immediately. Takes Charles’ hand on his, gently as he ever his with him, and guides them towards the private exit of the club.

“Let’s go, my love.”

[midnight-dreamerness]

It’s Always Been You

(This is NOT my gif. Credit to the creator <3)

summary: Jay stopped speaking to you unexpectedly and then you see each other at Molly’s.

pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

warning: Curse Words??

word count: 2.4k

A/N: theres a slight mention of the reader being plus size…

You never thought you’d be replaced. But in came Erin Lindsay and suddenly she was all he talked about. And eventually he didn’t call anymore. He didn’t pull up in your driveway with pizza and a pack of beer out of the blue anymore. There were no Saturday movie nights or Monday monopoly despite you both knowing he always won.

You were lonely. After meeting Jay in high school, it was the two of you against the world. And when he left for the rangers, you were lost. But he came back to you. And you were the happiest you’ve ever been. But this time was different. You were losing him, falling right between your fingers right In front of your eyes and there was nothing you could do was watch from afar as he loved someone else and ached to be that someone.

Erin was a good person with a good heart. She was good for him. But you couldn’t help but hate that you couldn’t give him everything she could. Whatever that was you didn’t know. Maybe it was because you were bigger. Maybe it was because you were different. Whatever it was, you didn’t want to know. It would only break you in the end.

You tried to go out but it seemed the ghost of him followed you wherever you went.

You glanced at him for a moment, noting the stubble covering his jaw and remember how much you ran your hands over it giggling when he spun you around in the middle of his apartment.

You both were closer than normal best friends. You slept in the same bed and cuddled countless times. But every time you woke you he was gone.

Your friend snapped her fingers in front of your face with a laugh.

“You’re staring,” she commented, sniggering. You grimaced, biting at your lip and removing your intense gaze from the man across the room.

He was with a group of people but his arms were laying across the chair of the girl you wanted to hate but couldn’t.

“I hate nice people,” you grumbled, only making your friend laugh more. You ended up grinning, her laugh being contagious.

“Hello, ladies.” You now noticed the blonde who had walked up to your table, recognizing him from Jay's group from across the room.

“Hello, handsome,” you flirted, resting your chin on the palm of your hand, fluttering your eyes at him. He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m Adam. I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room. Can I buy you a drink, both of you?”

“You can buy her a drink. I’m going to talk to the guy who's been eyeing me since I walked in. Good luck!” Your friend exclaimed and started to walk away but turned around and added, “Oh! She likes the fruity stuff. Berry Lemonade Margarita is her favorite. Thank me later.” She gave the blonde, Adam, a wink before finally walking away. You place your hands in your hands, a blush settling over you cheeks.

“Berry Lemonade Margarita it is.” Adam said walking to the bar. You sat there and chuckled, shaking your head. You could feel eyes on you, so you looked up and met his eyes. His hand had fallen from behind Erins chair, a sad smile on his face. You looked away letting out a sigh. Adam was back in a matter of minutes, sliding your drink in front of you and settling in the seat in front of you, a glass of what looks like Whiskey in his hands.

“Thank you,” you muttered, giving him a small shy smile.

“You don’t talk much do you?”

“When I open my mouth I usually embarrass myself.” He only laughs, shaking his head.

You ended up talking for a good twenty minutes about anything and everything. He was easy to talk to but you couldn’t help but ache for another man who would glance at the two of you from across the room ever so often. He hated it. He hated watching Adam making you laugh. It was really his own fault. He has no right to be angry or jealous. But he was. All he wanted to do was march right over there and rip him from that seat. Instead, though, he watched from afar, detaching himself from the conversation his friends were having. You brightened up the room as soon as you entered, his eyes on you as soon as you stepped foot into Molly’s.

“You know Jay?” Adam asked, leaning back against the booth. You nodded, swirling the straw in your half empty drink.

“We were best friends. Things happen, though. People change.”

“Well you're glancing at him every couple of minutes so apparently something happened there.”

“Oh fuck, Adam. I’m sorry,” your shoulder slump as you feel the guilt build inside you. He simply laughs and shakes his head.

“No need to apologize. Does he know?”

You wanted to ask him what he meant but you knew. So you shook your head, “No.”

He purses his lip. “Have you thought about telling him?”

“Only a thousand times. Erin is good for him, though.”

“If Jay wanted to be with Erin he would’ve made it official. So clearly something is holding him back.”

You hated how your chest filled with hope that maybe he held back because of you. But he left you. Stopped calling. Stopped texting. Stopped everything.

“C’mon,” Adam said standing up, glass in one hand and the other held out for you to take. You gave him a curious look but took his hand anyway and grabbed your drink before he could pull you away. When you noticed the direction you both we’re headed you tried to stop but it was no use. The two of you had gained the attention of the entire group.

“Hey, this is my girl, (Y/N). This is Kevin, Kim, Erin, and Jay.” Adam said, pointing them all out with their name. You gave them all a shy smile and a wave. Anxiety filled you and you suddenly felt sick to your stomach.

“Oh no, has he talked your ear off yet?” Asked Kevin who only made the rest of them laugh, aside from Jay, who only glaring at him. He hated the way the words “his girl” fell from Adam's lips.

Your shoulders dropped as the anxiety left and you let out a small laugh.

“He’s getting there.”

You didn’t even have it in you to look into his eyes. You tightened your grip on Adam's hand, who simply nudged you towards the empty spot next to an African American man, who you now know as Kevin. Adam sat next to you, sending you a wink before throwing his arm over your chair.

“Truthfully. She loves me,” Adam says shrugging. You take a sip of your drink, eyes widen, a laugh nearly falling from your lips.

“I’m just waiting on my chance to run,” you suddenly spoke. There was a slight pause before laughs were heard around the table and a whine came from Adam.

“Babe, that is so mean,” Adam moaned, holding his hand over his heart as if you broke it.

You simply giggled and slapped his chest lightly.

A conversation started and you added in a couple of times but mainly you were putting your focus on avoiding his gaze or trying not to cry at the sight of his hand resting on Erins shoulder.

As a certain song came on, you were suddenly pulled into memories of only a couple months ago.

It was the night he made you dance with him. You remember giggling and letting him spin you until you were dizzy and ready to pass out. You remember how his hands fell on your hips to try and steady you before you fell. He was laughing the entire time until his face came close to yours. And he almost kissed you. He was so close and you prayed that he would. But he didn’t.

The memory only causes your heart to ache and knowing that the man you loved was sitting right in front of you with another girl on his arm made it ten times worse.

You wanted to scream and to cry but you trapped it inside, bottling it up until you could let it out once you got home.

The sound of your slurping pulled you from your thoughts. You were out of adult juice. With no intention of going home, you were going to need another drink to get you through the night.

“I'm going to get a drink. I’ll be back,” you told Adam before hopping out of your seat. He gave you a nod.

“Yeah, me too. Anyone want anything?”

You pushed through the groups of people trying to get away but there was no use, Jay caught your arm and pulled you away before anyone at the table noticed. You were in a hallway suddenly and before you could say anything Jay was in front of you.

“Adam? Really?”

“What? What’s wrong with Adam? And why do you care?” You are getting upset now. Jay had no right to question you on who you were seeing. Not anymore.

“He’s not really your type.” You snorted at his reply. What were you supposed to say to that? You didn’t understand why he cared when he had left you and all of a sudden he wants to look out for you.

“Jay, you have no idea what my type is anymore. People change. Maybe I like blondes now.”

“Yeah well I remember only a couple months ago you much preferred brown haired, blue eyed men.”

“What are you implying?” You asked, stepping closer to him, your eyes set in a glare. He folded his arms over his chest, his muscles catching your eyes for a split second. Your thighs clenched before you copied his stance, your nails digging into your arms.

“You know exactly what I’m implying, princess.”

The nickname made you weak at the knees and so did that fucking smirk on his face. But you stood your ground, slipping your hair over your shoulder and attempting to walk around him. He caught your wrist, pulling you into his chest. You took in a breath at how close you both were. It had been so long since you touched him and every part of you wanted to melt into his arms.

“You left me, remember. Replaced me. No calls, no text, no goodbye. And no excuse. You have no right to try and tell me who I can or cannot be with.” As you spoke you snatched your wrist from his grip and pulled away, walking right out the side doors. You walked up to Adam, the excuse falling from your lips easily.

“I’m not feeling too well, I’m gonna head home, Call me. It was nice meeting you guys.”

And you were out the door before they could say anything. Your phone was blowing up as soon as you sped off down the road but you didn’t once pick it up knowing who it was.

It was your turn to ignore him now. You blocked his number later that night and cried yourself to sleep, trying your hardest to let go of that stupid schoolgirl crush you had for him and grow the hell up. You only wished it was as easy as saying it. But your mind betrayed you and you thought about him for the next two days. And then he showed up.

When you heard the knock you assumed it was the package you had been waiting on for three days now but when you took a peek through the peephole, you closed your eyes and sat your back against the door.

“Please open the door,” he begged, resting his head against the door. You let out a sigh and pushed yourself from the door, turning and swinging it open. He stood there with a pizza box in his hand and a pack of beer resting on top. You couldn’t help but smile as you noticed the flowers hiding behind his back. He pulled them out, a grin overtaking the sadness on his face. The look of excitement cured the nervousness that had settled in his stomach.

“Can I take the pizza, beer, and flowers and leave you on the doorstep?” You joked about taking a hold of the flowers, bringing them to your nose to smell them. You closed your eyes as your favorite flower's scent invaded your nose.

Jay let out a laugh. “No, princess. It’s a package deal.”

You let out a chuckle and opened the door wider for him. Jay walked inside, instantly making his way to the living room where he sat the pizza and beer on the table. Instead of following him you entered the kitchen and placed the flowers in a vase and filled it halfway with water. You placed them on the counter, cocking your head to the side as you arranged them perfectly in the vase. Jay watched from the entrance, leaning against the frame with a smile on his lips.

“I’m sorry. And I know it isn’t much, but I hope this is a good start to getting you back.”

His voice causes shivers to roll over your spine. You purses your lips, taking in a breath.

“I don’t want to play anymore, Jay. I want a relationship and if you can’t give me that then please just say so.”

He walked forwards, cupping your face in his hands.

“I didn’t know what I wanted back. But I do know now. And it’s you. It's always been you.”

With a sigh of relief you captured his lips, your hand running up his chest before clasping around his waist. You wished you had done it before, that you both hadn’t played around the thought of a relationship and just did it. But you had him now and that’s all that mattered.

His kiss made you fuzzy and you Found yourself leaning against him for support. His tongue swiped across your bottom lip and you parted your lips eagerly. You moaned at the taste of him and moved your hands to then settle on his chest. You have never been kissed like this before. And you loved every part of it.

You pulled back, taking in a much needed breath as he leaned his forehead against yours attempting to catch his own breath.

“So, you want me to beat your ass in monopoly or what?”

[timextoxhajima]

Boundary [Dana’s 700 Special]

Track: Fever - Enhypen / TiO - Zayn / Close - Nick Jonas, Tove Lo

➣ Member: my og bias owo

➣ Genre: idol! ju x stylist! [fem] reader

➣ Warnings: swear words and if you squint, some smut

➣ Word Count: i’m like 100% sure it’ll be as long as accelerate [i was wrong it’s nowhere near but whatever]

➣ A/N: Thank you for 700 followers. You are all nothing but amazing ♡

➣ Taglist: @taesty-wander-lust​ @tbzzhoe​ @suzy-rainbow​ 

He’s going to be the absolute death of me.

The thought is loud in your head, and you were almost sure you would’ve blurted it out had the filming studio been empty. Breaking Dawn was blasting from the speakers behind the MV director, experimenting with some strange angles that you’ve never seen any other MV director try with the group before. 

If you thought Reveal was dangerous, this might be worse.

“Okay! Let’s do that hook into the chorus first and we’ll see how that angle goes!”

“Breaking Dawn, I see-”

“Cut! Juyeon-” The director snorts while staring at the monitor from the camera. “That was great but um, we’ll need to rate the video if we release this one.”

Never mind. It is worse.

“Yah, Juyeon!”

“Ahh... seriously?”

“You already have enough screen time, why are you so greedy?!”

The members crowd around Juyeon and shove him playfully as the director films that part from the monitor, and brings his cellphone over to the group to see. You can barely hear the music from the phone, given how far you were standing from the filming area. 

The group of 11 burst into loud yells and frustrated groans, with Younghoon and Chanhee giving their iconic ‘OoO’ faces to Juyeon. The main man chuckles, embarrassed, and shakes his head while waving it off.

“I didn’t intend to make it so suggestive, sorry!”

“It’s alright, that was great, really!” The director assures him. “It’s just that we can’t release that without rating the MV, and you guys don’t really have that kind of reputation yet so, we won’t do that for you guys now. But anyways, can we get a 10 minute break and we’ll pick up where we left off?”

The boys celebrate in unison, Eric immediately rushing off for the washroom, some members going to the staff to ask for their phones, others going for the monitor to check their progress and the remaining approaching their stylists for appearance maintenance.

So, when Juyeon approaches you with that sly-mixed-with-shame smile, you can’t help but to shake your head at him. 

“Really? He asks you to go all out and you look like you want to eat the camera,” Pulling open your little kit, you set it on the table next to you. You pull out the comb and hairspray and start adjusting his hair again - all that dancing’s pushed some strands out of its rightful position.

“Aw, so you agree that I looked good enough?”

“What?” The pitch is higher than expected, but you hope your feigned annoyance camouflages the pinch of jealousy. “Please! The director said it’ll be rated!”

Juyeon laughs, standing with his feet a little more apart than natural for you to have easier access to his hair. 

“Well, you’re the one who did my hair and makeup. If it’s anybody to blame, wouldn’t it be you?” 

His words halt the sharp end of your comb in his hair, and you poke it into his scalp for good measure while puffing out your cheeks. He chuckles it off. 

“Excuse you, sir, Cre.Ker gave me a color palette and a set of reference pics. Ever since they cracked the code with you with Reveal, they just won’t stop with this genre of style on you.”

“I mean... I definitely prefer my current style over what they did to me in Boy.”

The memory cooks up a bunch of images in your head, and you fail to stop the giggle that runs off your tongue when you return the comb to the kit. 

“Aw, come on, that was cute,” Picking up a brow pencil, you fill in the tiny fade-out. “You were, what? 19? No reason for you to look as raunchy as you do now.”

“It’s a pity you only met me just before I become ‘raunchy’.”

“Why? I mean, ‘Juyeon’s not a good boy’ though. Raunchy’s closer to that than what you did pre-Reveal.”

“I meant it!” Juyeon widens his eyes and his brows shift up his forehead just as the tip of the brow pencil lifts off his skin. “I’m happy Cre.Ker’s letting us show what we want to.”

“And I’m happy for you too,” You finish up on his foundation where it’s starting to wear off. “But one day, you’re gonna cross a line and break some hearts.”

Juyeon smiles as you cap on all your equipment and close your kit. Resting one hand on your hip, you quickly give his hair one last poke before he resumes his normal standing position.

“What if I only want to break specific hearts though?”

A frown befalls your face and you forge an ugly look by crooking your lips. “What? Was that an attempt to flirt? Please stop,” Waving him off, you turn and pick up your kit, walking away on your heels as Juyeon tails you.

He’s just practising flirting on me at this point. Best friends and best friends for what? Get MY heart broken? PLEASE.

“Flirt with Kevin if you want, he’ll give you better advice,” You turn to the film area and sure enough, Kevin was busy twerking into the camera and Changmin’s just face palming himself. 

“Oi Kevin! Stahb it!” You yell across the space and Changmin points to you, turning to yell at Kevin.

“Yah, even y/n’s telling you to stop!”

Chuckling, you turn into the dressing room as another hair stylist finishes with Sangyeon in the mirror. 

“Hello sir, you look kinda tired today, are you resting well?”

“Don’t get me started. Schedule’s packed into June,” Sangyeon subtly shakes his head, but his stylist holds his cheeks and shifts his face back to face the mirror.

“Sangyeon, please face the mirror. It’s not my fault if your hair gets messed up again,” The hair stylist grins as he picks up the hairspray.

“Sorry,” Sangyeon blinks at him and purses his lips. Juyeon crashes into the two seater-sofa in the corner of the dressing room and groans tiresomely, resting his head on the top surface of the headrest. 

“Well, you should get some rest before Kingdom kicks in,” You place the kit on the dressing table and sit down in the two-seater next to Juyeon. “It’s not going to be an easy fight, y’know.”

“Right! You used to be ATEEZ’s hairstylist!” Sangyeon’s eyes widen and you can see him struggling not to turn to you directly instead of trying to find you in the strangest angle of the reflection in the mirror. 

“Yeah. Those guys are intense, and I mean intense! Six out of eight are known for performance skills and the other two... one produces 99% of their tracks and the other belts out notes even I can’t reach.”

“You sound like you were sent from KQ to intimidate us-” Sunwoo struts in and waves an annoying finger in your face.

“I’m not-” Swatting his finger away, Juyeon leans forward and pulls Sunwoo’s hand. “I’m just saying for good measure- it’s not going to be easy. Stray Kids is also going to be great competition, not to mention iKON and-”

“AhHH, we get it!” Sunwoo shushes you, swinging his hand with Juyeon’s.

“No matter the outcome, you all need to know that you guys were stellar last year. I was new then, but it was absolutely stunning to watch you guys work and put so much effort into your performances.”

“Oh my God, yeah, you could not shut up about the Danger performance,” Sangyeon cooes, letting his stylist finally finishes and shifts to pack the hair equipment. 

“I’ll bet it’s cause your best friend over here got the most screen time,” Sunwoo perks up a mischievous brow and smirks at you.

Juyeon’s eyes widen and stares at the youngest, “I didn’t get the most screen time.”

“If not you then who?” Sangyeon butts in as he stands.

“Uh... Changmin?”

Sunwoo and Sangyeon go quiet. 

“Yah, you had a good amount of screen time too!” Sangyeon turns and blurts out at Sunwoo, playfully shoving him. 

“Y’all are being loud in here,” Kevin’s head pops out from beyond the door frame, one of his stylists tagging behind him and struggling to pat down his clothes. 

“No, tell me if Sunwoo had more screentime than Changmin in Danger from last year,” Sangyeon wraps an arm around Sunwoo and slowly walks him out. 

“What? I don’t know, Changmin had the opening and the dance break...”

Sangyeon’s hairstylist follows closely, and by instinct, he shuts the door behind him, leaving you with Juyeon in the dressing room. It’s humid, from all the lights turned on in the room, and the leather seat wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sit on.

Turning to Juyeon, his eyes are gently shut, and frankly, he looked like he was about to fall asleep. The backrest of the sofa sinks when you lean back, mimicking his position.

“You have like four minutes left so don’t even think of falling asleep.”

“I’m not sleeping,” He offers a tiny smile on his lips, eyes still shut. 

“Sure, you’re not.”

“Wake me up when the director needs me.”

“You wish,” The leather under your legs squeak when you push yourself off, but he sticks out an arm at your stomach and pushes you back down. Judging by the miniscule smirk on his face, he’s just messing with you. “What do you think you’re doing? I have a job to do and you have a music video to film.”

He remains quiet. Someone shouts at Eric outside.

“You’re being fucking weird today, sir,” You lift a hand and grab his arm to move it away, but he swiftly wraps his fingers around your wrist and yanks you forward instead. 

Using your palms to keep the distance between your faces, you’re hovering above him now, breath on his upper lip. The sweat’s begun to collect in the lines of your palms, stuck to the arm rest by his side and the cushion he’s leaning on. 

Your vision immediately darts to his face upon the bold move, and he’s got that slight smile prancing on his lips when he’s thinking of a joke or something funny and doesn’t want to say it. It’s been a good year of being Juyeon’s best friend (apart from the members), so you’ve definitely grown to know how to read him by his actions.

You sigh, rolling your eyes and removing your legs from next to his thighs.

“Juyeon-”

And then he cuts you off by holding you in position with his arm around his waist, challenging your knees to hold you up - because if they buckled, you’ll land right on top of him. 

“What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” 

Knock knock

“y/n, are you done with Juyeon’s hair? Filming’s resuming!”

There’s an awkward tension between you and Juyeon now, with his eyes wide open and staring into yours, arm still around your waist. But having his nose just inches away from yours and his breath breathing down on your philtrum feels so surreal. It feels like it’s a dream that you’ve failed to pull yourself out from.

He parts his lips, then purses them, and sighs through his nose. 

“Yeah, she’s done! I’ll be out in like, two seconds!”

Your gaze finds his and you’re panicking when he’s moving again. Within two seconds, you’re flat on your back on the length of the couch - and this time, he’s holding himself above you.

“What the- I-”

“We’ll continue this later back at the company, I promise,” Then he rounds your cheek and presses a kiss into your cheekbone instead.

He pulls back, offering you his kind smile and a ruffle into your hair for good measure. Nothing in your body is working when you hear him shuffle for the door, and it clicks shut behind him, with Breaking Dawn already blasting in the filming space.

Sucking in a deep breath, you don’t realise how hard your heart is thumping in your head until you hear your own shaky exhale. You don’t know where to look, you can still feel his grip on your waist and his breath on your upper lip, and everything’s just a mess right now.

What the Hell just happened?

“Eric - Dior Shirt Size M...” You mumble under your breath, fingers gripping the pen to the clipboard so hard, your writing would probably leave a mark in the sheet under. 

“I think this is the last luggage!” Younghoon’s stylist drags the black case in, lining it up with the last unopened one. “Need help?”

“Yeah, just open the luggage for me and separate Sangyeon’s clothes from Jacob’s, but otherwise I can handle it on my own.”

She nods, laying it down and unzipping it for the clothes to spew out. “How’s working here? It’s been over a year, right?”

“Mhm,” You glance at her, obviously tired. “It’s alright, but thanks to your advice since last year, I don’t think it could’ve been better.”

With a kind smile, she looks up at you, placing Sangyeon’s pants over his stack. “You’re experienced from ATEEZ, so it wouldn’t have been that hard anyway.”

She stands, resting her hands on her hips as you walk over, squatting to check Sangyeon and Jacob’s clothes. 

“So... what’s going on with you and Juyeon?”

I’d like to know too.

“Huh?” You look up at her, head tilted to the side with a sneaky cocked brow. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, please- All the stylists here know you and Juyeon are like- hanky panky nowadays. Pretty sure the boys know too, or at least have some idea.”

A cackle runs your throat dry as you graduate your attention to Jacob’s clothes. “Is that what they’re calling it? ‘Hanky-panky’? Cute.”

“Do you know why they’re still in a meeting this late?”

“No, why would I bother? As long as I don’t lose my job, it’s none of my concern.”

“They’re in meeting to be informed that their dating ban has been lifted.”

Your grip around the pen tightens, but halts abruptly. 

“Ah...” She sighs, contemplated with herself. “Cat got your tongue? Or should I say... Juyeon got your-”

Interrupted by the practise room door being pushed open, both of your attentions immediately flit to the new commotion. 

“Oh, Juyeon! Meeting’s over?”

“Yeah,” He turns and closes the door behind him. His hair was still waxed up from the day’s schedule, makeup still on but fading. Clothes snug around his shoulders with his belt tight around his hips. Those stupid jeans never did you any good since day 1. “Sangyeon said he left a ring in one of the luggages so he sent me to come get it while he counsels Kevin for twerking.”

“y/n’s just going through Sangyeon’s wardrobe, so she might find something,” Your colleague’s begun to take small, insignificant steps towards the door, and your anxiety begins to increase with every inch she places between the two of you.

“Which is why I’m here,” He stuffs his hands into his back pockets.

“Right, right,” Now, she’s already got her hand on the door knob, glancing past him and at you with wide, glistening eyes. “I gotta go check your wardrobe for tomorrow so... I’mma go now, and uh... security comes by around 12am. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“What-” You blurt out, receiving a sharp, surprised look from Juyeon.

“Bye! Bye Juyeon!”

“Bye,” He waves. 

“No, wait-” 

And so, the door clicks shut behind her, and her shadow behind the translucent material disappears down the corridor. 

The whir of the air-conditioner in the practice room fills all the awkward openings in the room, but all you can hear is the rapid thunk of your heart in your brain - as if that was even possible. 

Thunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunkthunk

“About earlier today-”

“Give me a moment while I look for Sangyeon’s ring. What does it look like?” Standing up too fast, your vision goes white and a second of dizziness throws you off your balance.

So, of course, Juyeon rushes over and holds you by your waist before your ankles or knees give way. The incessant blinking makes you wish you could actually pass out right now, because your weight’s in his arms and you can’t bring yourself to look him in the eye.

“Iron deficiency much?” The corner of his lips curl up into his cheek before releasing you. “Do you need to sit down?”

Clearing your throat, you turn away first. “No, I-”

“Good, because I have some points to make and you’re gonna stop running away from them like you’re doing now.”

The change in tone runs chills down your spine and goosebumps erupt all over your skin - thank god you were wearing a blazer, safe from his observation. 

“How have you tolerated it so much?” He folds his arms across his chest, tilting his head innocently but his eyes say otherwise. It’s always his eyes that tell a whole different story from the person he’s known to be. 

“Y’know, being around me but you’re so calm and collected and I just...” He shakes his head, and to your dismay, takes a step forward - which drives you backwards. “How?”

His voice is too sing-songy. It’s too calm and collected for you because you’re about to barf up your dinner, which was a good 4 hours ago now. There’s nothing left in your stomach to barf up. 

He takes another intimidating step and you wince at your inability to look him in the eye.

Another step back. 

“Like, I know we’re friends but my God-” Shaking his head, he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip.

Another step forward. Another backward.

“It’s upsetting that I can look ‘raunchy’ and it doesn’t seem to do anything to you... But seeing you the way you are every other day makes me want to- just-”

Another step forward. 

One more one back.

And your breath halts.

Your back hits the wall, the rear of your skull lined with the pillar. 

Oh, no.

Gritting your teeth so tight, your jaw starts to ache and your temples are throbbing. 

“I’m not seeing things, right?” A flicker of curiosity sparkles in his eyes when you muster up the courage to look at him - only to regret it instantly. “It’s not in my head that you feel the same way I do, right?”

“I... Don’t know what you’re talking about- You’re an idol... and I’m- I’m just your stylist and I-”

“‘Just my stylist’?” The comment forces his brows into a slight frown, before he lifts his hand and covers the bottom half of his face with his palm. “Rethink what you just said.”

Sucking in a deep breath, your chest wells with a horrid mix of desire and self-discipline. Those two don’t go well together. 

“We can talk about this some other day,” You choose to say, dragging your body along the pillar in a bid to shift out from the wall-Juyeon sandwich like a fool. He lifts his arm and presses his palm into the pillar behind you, caging your poor, poor soul in this fateful corner of his stupid practice room.

“Juyeon, we need... boundaries in this industry. One scandal and it’ll destroy your career.”

“Boundaries?” He buckles his elbows, shrinking the gap between your noses. “Boundaries are for idols who still have a dating ban.”

Breathing down your nose, he’s too close for comfort. You can smell his cologne, the scent of his hair wax and see the bumps on his cheek under the faint layer of makeup. You don’t realise you’re trembling until he tilts his head ever so slightly, free hand reaching up to your chin to steady your face.

“Stop running from me,” Shaking his head painstakingly subtly, he whispers into your lips. “You were mine from the start and you know that.”

The adrenaline rush through your nerves sets off fireworks all over you when he slots his body against yours, lips fitted with yours like puzzle pieces; against the wall, with his palms on your cheeks. There was no care or consideration with how much strength he was channeling into this kiss - it feels so pent-up, so frustrated. Without warning, your body resigns as you circle your arms around his shoulders.

Gripping the rim of his collar in your hands, his hands drop to your waist and holds you closer, if it were even possible. A million thoughts race through your head - and at the same time, none. This moment was something you didn’t even know you needed. 

Juyeon’s hands roam the small of your back as he keeps you against the wall, relaxing into the kiss and sighing into it instead. 

This bliss comes in the form of him. Him who provides you all the sinful wants deep down inside you. 

But this bliss doesn’t last, for the practice room door swings open violently and tears Juyeon off you.

“I told you to find my ring, not hook up with your crush!”

[troubatrain]

high for this - n. patrick

a/n: self indulgent marijuana fueled nolan smut?? from me?? never!! i started this the last time it snowed but i finally got a chance to actually finish it so i hope  you guys like it! tagging @tkafuckit​ & @hookingminor​ because truly nothing gets done around here without them lbr

warnings: smut, marijuana

This had to be the worst blizzard to have hit Philadelphia in decades. At least that’s what the weatherman said while his toupee was dangerously close to falling off, an internal bet Nolan had with himself about how long it would be until it flew away in the wind and snow that was shutting down the city. Not only was he snowed in, he was snowed in with Joel and his girlfriend April who’d been pretending like Nolan wasn’t on the other side of the couch for the last hour. Nolan huffs, getting up from his spot on the couch in search of you.

Nolan didn’t like to admit it, but he had a soft spot for you he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was because you were just as much a weird third wheel to Joel’s relationship as he was. Or it could have been the way he started using hanging out with Joel and April as an excuse to do exactly what he’s doing right now. He walked down the hallway, two doors from the bathroom was your bedroom. He could hear the soft sounds of whatever record you were spinning on the other side, and he took a deep breath before he poked his head and smiled. You were nestled in your bed under a mountain of blankets and a movie on your laptop, “We’re stuck here I think.”

You laugh, an angelic sound bouncing off the walls of your room while Nolan hoped you wouldn’t catch his blush from across the room. You opened your blanket pile, tapping on the other side of your bed for Nolan to come join you. It wasn’t like it was out of the ordinary that Nolan would escape Joel and April to hide out with you, but he was doing it way more often than he used to, “Joel and April are making out aren’t they?”

“April’s five minutes from losing her shirt,” Nolan points his finger up, the sound of April’s giggle from the living room, “I don’t need to see that.”

You’d been in this position plenty of times, Nolan curled up in your bed while Parks and Rec played quietly in the background. Nolan would start off on one side of your bed, and before you knew it you were cuddled into his side while neither of you spoke a word. It was a comfortable silence, never asking for anything more or anything less, “You know, we’re snowed in and there’s nothing else to do…”

“Do you want me to roll a joint?” Nolan chuckles, pushing a piece of his hair from his face.

“You’re just so much better than me at it,” You admit, which wasn’t a total lie. Nolan was the best joint roller you’d ever come across, but Nolan was also the hottest joint roller you knew. It was such a weird thing to be attracted to, the way the paper would roll between his fingers and all you seemed to be able to focus on was how big his hands were, “Please?”

Nolan wasn’t going to say no, mostly because if you were both high he didn’t need an excuse to hold you because you always seemed to snuggle right up to him after. Besides, Nolan definitely wasn’t going to say no when you were pouting with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t leave you to watch Joel and April fuck,” You tease, pushing Nolan in the chest lightly. You heard him call you cute, but you couldn’t read into it. Nolan was single and in the time since you’d met it was clear he wasn’t fucking around with anyone else. Joel told you it was because Nolan was a little introverted and if he liked he wasn’t going to announce to the world. You didn’t think much of it until you met Kevin who was over the moon to meet the girl Nolan was always talking about. All of your friends seemed to think whatever you had with Nolan was on the fast track to being together, but Nolan never seemed to mention it to you. You open your end table, leaning across Nolan and grabbing your grinder and some bud, dropping it in his hands.

Nolan gets to work, long slim fingers dropping the weed onto the paper gently while you hopped off the bed and pulled out a record. Nolan looks up at you for a minute, a Temple hoodie hanging off your frame covering the shorts you had underneath it. His eyes wandered down your legs, god he wanted you, but he couldn’t even begin to figure out how to tell you. He should let you know that you were pretty much his dream girl, standing across the room flipping a Hozier album in your hands while you picked what you should listen to. It’s about the vibes Nolan, you remarked that to him the first time you ever smoked together, and now Nolan had a playlist just for songs he knew you loved most.

“You’re indecisive,” Nolan hums, watching you put the same record back on it’s shelf and licking the edge of the paper, “Just pick one, anything you pick will be cooler than I would have chosen anyways.”

You turn around sticking your tongue out at him and grabbing a Mt. Joy vinyl to put on, “Did you get that for me?”

“I got it for me,” You defend, holding in the truth that Nolan’s music taste seemed to be weaving itself with your own, “But I knew you liked them, and you never seem to leave me alone.”

“Don’t think you want me too,” Nolan mumbles, grabbing a lighter from your nightstand, sparking up the end of the joint and handing it over to you.

“Wow I get the first hit, what a gentleman,” You joke, sitting cross legged on your bed and watching the smoke fill your room. Nolan loved watching you smoke, the way it would just fall from lips and your voice would get a little raspier. He loved the way your eyes seemed to get hazier and your smile just a bit wider than it usually was, “Excellent work Patty.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Nolan chuckles, your head falling into his lap without a second thought. You both laid like that the entire time you were smoking, sharing the joint while Nolan’s fingers weaving through your hair absentmindedly, “I saw it by the way.”

“Saw what?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion at whatever he was on about.

“Your little helper,” Nolan muses, a tight lipped smile on his face because he could literally see your hazy mind trying to figure out what he was talking about. Nolan didn’t know why he needed to say anything about the very teeny vibrator in your bedside table next to your grinder, “Use it often?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You brush him off, it was Nolan and Nolan teased you all the time.

“You know I do,” Nolan hums, his gaze on you while you were practically squirming in his lap, “The same way that you know I like you but you never do anything about it.”

“Shouldn’t you be making the first move?” You poke open one eye to look up at Nolan. His hands moved quickly, grabbing your thighs and pulling you up to straddle his waist.

“Thought we were more progressive than that babe,” Nolan huffs, his voice deeper than it usually was. His hands were running up your legs, rough calloused fingers against your skin.

“I want to hear you say it,” You challenge, boldly running a hand through Nolan’s hair. Nolan’s heart was stammering in his chest, but when a silly smile danced across your lips he couldn’t help but laugh, “Let’s hear it Patty.”

“I want you, here, now, and every time after this,” Nolan says, his voice sure, steady and clear. His lips ghosed over yours for a moment, “C’mere.”

Nolan wasn’t a man of many words, but he was going to show just how he felt. His hands cascaded down your body, stopping on your ass and giving it a tap while his lips pressed against yours. It was electric, and you wondered why you bothered to kiss anyone besides Nolan, “Nols-”

“Yeah?” Nolan pulls away, cheeks rosy and his breath ripped out his body from just one kiss. You bit your lip, looking at him in the eyes before you spoke again.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, grinding your hips against Nolan’s, pulling a groan from his lips. Nolan’s hand gripped your chin, crashing his lips against yours. His other hand snuck under your shirt, the rough calloused fingers that only lived in your fantasies rubbing against your soft skin. He flipped you over, holding himself up by his elbows while he pressed kisses down your neck.

“I’ve thought about this so many fucking times,” Nolan mumbles, his lips pressed against your skin. You could feel his teeth graze behind your ear, pulling a moan out of you.

“Maybe you should’ve done something about it sooner,” You smirk, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him back in for a kiss, “Could’ve saved me a few lonely nights.”

“Consider those over,” Nolan promises, giving you a sweet kiss before his hands grabbed the bottom of your hoodie to pull it off. Nolan’s lips move down your body, love bites and kisses pressed against your skin while he makes his way down to where you need him most. His fingers slipped under your sweats, looking up at you for the go ahead he needed, you nod eating up the feeling of Nolan’s hands on your bare skin, “So pretty baby.”

Nolan’s finger traced lightly over your thighs, his breath hot against your pussy while you ached for more, “Don’t tease me or I’ll get my little friend out to do the job for me.”

Nolan chuckles at your whine, a finger sliding up your folds, “That’s for another time babe.”

Nolan’s words had your eyes rolling to the back of your head, oh it’s definitely big. His tongue swirled your clit gently, trying to figure out exactly what was going to get you off. You let out a moan, one that definitely carried through the hallway loud enough for Joel and April to hear from the living room. Nolan smirks to himself, wrapping his lips around your clit and sliding one of his ridiculously long fingers inside you. Your hand gripped his hair, tugging on it gently while you bit your lip to stop yourself from being too loud, “Fuck Nolan, faster.”

Nolan nods, a second finger sliding inside of you and curling against your g spot. You grinded down on Nolan’s face, his free hand gripping your thigh to keep you in place. You were a moaning mess above him, not caring one bit about anyone hearing you because Nolan’s mouth was magic. It really is always the quiet ones. You were close, Nolan’s fingers sliding out of just when he started to feel your pussy clench around him. You whine, grabbing the back of Nolan’s head to keep his mouth against your pussy but it was no use when Nolan was that big, “Sorry did you want to cum?”

Nolan’s finger was teasing your entrance, watching the way your pussy was clenching in anticipation, you let out a breathy laugh, “Please make cum Nols, I need it.”

All it took after that was Nolan’s tongue around your clit and his fingers curled back inside you for you to cum. Nolan’s name fell from your lips, a sound that Nolan had dreamed of but never thought he’d actually get to hear. Nolan’s eyes looked over at your night stand, grabbing the extra joint he rolled and placing it between his lips. He tossed off his shirt, grabbing a lighter and sparking the end before he blew smoke in your mouth and pressed his lips against yours. You moan at sensation, gripping Nolan’s shoulder to pull him closer. You had him now, and you’d be damned if you were going to let him go. 

Nolan kicks off his sweats, taking a few puffs from the joint and groaning when you palmed him through his boxers. He grabs your hand, dropping the joint into yours and pulling off his boxers to let his cock spring free. Your suspicions were correct- it was big, you let out a giggle, Nolan’s eyebrows furrowing at you, “What?”

“I had this bet with myself about how big your dick was,” You admit, taking your own pull from the joint and watching the smoke fill the room, “Not disappointed.”

Nolan laughs, pressing a kiss to your lips and lining his cock up to you. He looks at you, “You’re my fucking dream girl.”

Nolan didn’t spare you a second to react to his words before he slid inside you. He groaned at the feeling, his head pressed against your neck. Nolan’s hips snapped against you, your nails scratching down his back while he railed you into oblivion. You were seeing stars, moans and whimpers falling from your lips and not a single thought in your mind except the fact that Nolan was making you feel so damn good, “Cum for me again, c’mon.”

Nolan’s deep voice was rumbling against your neck, his dick twitched inside of you in need of a release. You clenched around him, your legs shaking from pleasure. Nolan pulled out of you, spilling onto your stomach with a loud fuck. Nolan collapsed on top of you, the both of you trying to catch your breath. He rolls over, pulling you close his chest, “I meant what I said, I wasn’t just trying to get laid.”

“I know,” You hum, snuggling closer to his chest, “Think April and Joel heard us?”

The last thing you heard before you finally let the exhaustion take over your body was a we did in unison from April and Joel down the hall. 

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

hiii :) for the song prompts could i get #11,16 & 29 for sweet pea x ex!reader who both still have feelings for each other but are too stubborn to admit it, please? 🤍

hey! i love this idea so much so i’m so excited for you to read it! thank you for requesting! also, i got a little carried away, so sorry!

lyrics: things will change they always do, but my heart will stay open for you (stay open: maya hawke)

if you dance with me, darling, if you take me home. will we talk in the morning? (will we talk?: sam fender)

the millisecond that you're away i get the loneliest feeling (give me a try: the wombats)

“I can’t believe we’re here.” You say quietly and he nods, both of you looking at the paintings on the walls and silently wishing that you were anywhere else.

“I know.” He replies, glancing at you quickly before looking straight ahead.

Somebody behinds you coughs, and you can’t quite figure out if it’s a genuine one or if they’re just trying to tell you shut you up in a polite way. Either way you roll your eyes and sit properly in your seat, however you can still feel Sweet Pea’s arm against yours, the soft material of his blazer rubbing against your bare arms making you hyper-aware that he is, in fact, here.

It’s barely been five months since you broke up, and things are still...awkward, to say the least. And it's made even more awkward by the fact that you’re sat together at Fangs and Kevin’s wedding, despite both of you trying to get them to change the seating plan and both of them telling you that they’re stressed enough with this stupid wedding and so you’ll sit on the ceiling if that’s what they tell you to do, that made the both of you shut up and accept your fate.

You’re gonna spend a day, forcing smiles and pretending to be okay with the fact that the other is right next to you, yet you can’t touch them, no matter how much you want to.

“We did it!” Kevin cheers when he pulls away from Kevin, the two of them grinning from ear to ear and holding their hands in the air. Everybody stands and claps, while they walk back down the aisle, now husband and husband and both of them looking so happy that you think they’re gonna burst.

“Congratulations.” You grin and pull them both into a tight hug, squeezing you’re two best friends and trying to convey just how excited you are for them.

“Yeah, congrats guys.” Sweet Pea adds and leans around you to hug them both. You move back awkwardly and send an uncomfortable smile to Toni who just sends you an odd thumbs up before chatting with Veronica and Betty.

“We’ll see you both at the reception right?” Kevin adds. He tries to mask the fact that he’s on edge, worrying about whether everyone is gonna turn up, with eagerness, but the smile he's giving you just looks painful.

“Of course.” You smile.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Sweet Pea adds and you give him a shy smile. His gaze lingers on your for a little longer than it probably should for ex’s and you feel his eyes trail up and down your body, focusing on the parts that you made sure were accentuated in anticipation for seeing him again.

Fangs and Kevin share a look before excusing themselves and leaving you to try and look busy while Sweet Pea does the exact opposite. You know you shouldn’t, you know it’s wrong to still be loving the attention, to be dressing just to impress him, maybe make him a little jealous, but you can’t help the fact that you love how it makes you feel. All the attention, the small touches, the way his breath fans against your neck when he leans in to say something sarcastic, or the smirk that tugs at his lips when you do something to make him laugh, either on purpose or accidental.

You may have ended five months ago, but you’re still madly in love with him, and even though he tries to deny it, he can’t say he doesn’t feel the same about you.

“How are you doing?” He asks and your surprised by his bluntness. The two of you walk in the same direction as the rest of the guests, both completely unaware as to where you are going, and so you just stumble along blindly and hope that at least somebody around you knows what’s happening.

Sweet Pea’s hand ghosts the small of your back as he lets you through the door first, and the small pause gives you a chance to think of what to say. Do you lie and say that you haven’t spent every night thinking of him, and that the fact that he’s this close is making it difficult to breathe.

“Honestly?” You ask and he nods, his expression serious and he looks genuinely concerned. “The millisecond that you’re away, I get the loneliest feeling.” You laugh bitterly and his eyebrows furrow.

“Oh.” He says and grabs your arm, letting the rest of the guests shuffle past you until it’s just you and him stood in the corridor.

“Oh?” You repeat. “Is that a bad oh?”

“No.” He shakes his head quickly. “It’s a relived oh.”

“...oh.” You say and the two of you giggle.

“Same.” He adds and you nod awkwardly.

“Do you think we made a mistake?”

“Breaking up or being together in the first place” He asks and you frown, forcing yourself to look at him. “I’m sorry things are the way they are.” He adds and your expression softens.

“I’m sorry too.” You reply and grab his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He stares at it for a few seconds before slowly pulling you closer to him and you feel your breath hitch. “Do you wanna dance tonight?” You ask, trying to change the subject in order to give you a chance to remember how to breathe.

“That depends.” He shrugs, leaning closer to you and your cheeks heat up.

“On?” You ask, trying and failing to steady your voice.

“If you dance with me darling, if you take me home...will we talk in the morning?” He asks, almost begs as his lips brush against yours and you feel yourself falling for him all over again. Your hands cup his cheeks and his grip around your waist tightens around you, and for a brief second, everything that has ever happened between you, all the fights, the tears, the make-ups, the 3am calls and the drunken nights spent together when you told yourself no more, they’re all replaced by this one kiss, and all the possibilities that it could lead to, you just need to make sure you follow the right path this time.

You pull away, desperate for breath, but also yearning for him to keep kissing you, you want him to kiss you forever, you want to be held by him for the rest of time, until you can no longer hold each other.

But then you’re reminded of what drove the two of you apart in the first place. You’re lack of communication and the fact that life had been grinding the two of you down, far too much for you to focus on one another. That sort of things kills a couple, it makes them too stressed to love and even more stressed to talk about their issues so the only thing you can do is argue, and even then, that gets exhausting quickly.

You hated who you were then, you both did. You knew neither of you were the person that the other fell in love with, and you hated the way the other one looked whenever someone said something they instantly regretted but were too stubborn to take back.

You desperately want to go back to a time where you were happy together, but can you really go through all of this again if it goes wrong? But then he looks at you, his expression full of hope and love and there’s a shy smile playing on his lips thats only reserved for you, and you know. Of course you can, he’s worth the heartbreak.

“I don’t know.” You say honestly. “We can talk, but I don’t know where it’ll lead us, I hope it’s somewhere nice, things will change, they always do, but my heart will stay open for you, no matter what.” You say honestly, it’s the only thing you can say, but his smile shows that he’s willing to try, and then he grabs you and kisses you, and you know that you will talk, and you both hope it never stops.

song lyric prompts

sweet pea masterlist

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[rubix-writings]

Punisher Pt. 10

Tenth part of Punisher. We’re halfway people. This is a Chicago PD/Fire imagine with an original character. I don’t own any of the plot points or characters from the show. Also, it doesn’t follow any particular season or sequence in the shows.

Series Summary: Josephine (Jo) never expected to find support and pure love when she left Los Angeles. She ran away to Chicago and was content with living an insignificant, hidden life. But everything changes when she walks into Molly’s to get a job.

Josephine (OC) x Jay Halstead

The italicized lines are internal thoughts of the character.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, teeth rotting fluff

I followed Voight’s advice to the letter, changed up my routines every day and had Hermann adjust my schedule at Molly’s. I wasn’t making the money on tips I used to with my closing shifts, but it’s necessary. I knew I made the right decision going to Voight as soon as I saw Jay. He knocked on my door the next night with a home cooked meal, he sat with me for a few hours giving me updates on all the things I missed. He came over every day after until I felt “well” enough to go back to work. It’s funny to think you can miss a place, but when I arrived back at Molly’s I was met with a warm welcome by everyone, instantly filling a longing I didn’t know was there. 

“Hey Jo, can you sign for the kegs out front? Make sure they know where to go,” Stella asks before disappearing into the back. I make my way out the front entrance of the bar and sign for the kegs of beer. The two large men start wheeling the beer to the back entrance, I pray that they move quicker. The wind is making goosebumps rise on my exposed skin, making me seriously regret not bringing a coat. My leg shakes as the men are wheeling back the last of the order. 

“Jo?” I turn and see Jay walking up. 

“Hi,” I can’t contain my smile. 

“What’re you doing out here, it’s freezing,” Jay takes off his coat and wraps it around my body. The warmth is immediate and the woodsy smell of his cologne dances across my nostrils. 

“You’re gonna get cold,” I try to protest, but Jay stops me from taking the jacket off and continues to rub my arms. 

“I wasn’t the one that was just sick for two weeks.” Oh right.

“Excuse me, can I get one more signature?” One of the workers asks. I grab the clipboard and sign my name, allowing them to leave to their next delivery. 

“I never got to thank you for bringing me dinner,” I say when I turn to face Jay. 

“You don’t need to, I think eating my cooking was hard enough,” he jokes.

“It was good!” 

“Oh yeah? You really liked that rice?” I laugh.

“Yeah how does someone mess up rice?”

“I don’t know!” I hug Jay, resting my head on his firm chest. His head rests on top of mine. I close my eyes and focus on his heartbeat. I slowly pull away and look up to Jay. His large hands move to rest on either side of my face, he strokes my cheekbones with his thumbs. Jay moves down towards my face slowly fluttering his eyes closed, I gradually met him halfway, closing my eyes at the last second. His lips firmly press into mine before our lips start to move more frantically. I grip his shirt desperately trying to extinguish any space between us. Jay’s soft lips are a sharp contrast to the stubble on his cheeks. I feel like my lungs are going to explode from lack of oxygen, but I lean in as soon as Jay pulls away, not wanting this moment to end just yet. We both reluctantly pull away, Jay rests his forehead on mine. I slowly release Jay’s shirt from my grasp, trying to control my breathing. 

“I should get back inside,” as much as I want to stay in Jay’s arms, I know Stella would come looking sooner rather than later and for right now I want to keep this between Jay and me.

“Yeah Will should be here any minute,” Jay pulls away a little more, looking in the eyes. His piercing blue eyes could melt anyone’s heart. I slip out of Jay’s jacket and hand it back to him before taking a few steps towards the entrance. 

“I’m closing tonight,” I blurt out. “Any chance you’ll lend a hand?” A bright smile spreads across Jay’s face.

“I can do that,” I match Jay’s smile, and then quickly make my way back into Molly’s. I pick up a few empties on my way to the bar.

“Everything go okay?” Stella asks while popping the caps off two beers. 

“Yeah, easy,” I say, avoiding eye contact. Luckily, Stella’s too busy to catch my blushing cheeks. 

I busy myself by filling a couple of orders and opening new tabs. Jay and Will enter the bar, most of the Intelligence Unit is at the bar and they grab seats on the stools next to them. 

“Hi Jojo,” Will snickers. 

“Hi Willy Billy,” Will’s smile falls and he looks at Jay. “Yeah two can play that game.”

“How could you? Your own brother?” Will gasps. Jay shrugs and smiles at me. I grab the brothers some beers and slide them across the bartop. I didn’t notice Will analyzing Jay and me, all I could think about is the kiss we shared outside. It was needy and passionate, all the pent up tensions finally released. 

“You two kissed!” Will announces. Jay and I snap out of it because of Will’s outburst.

“What?” Jay asks.

“You two finally kissed, or was it something more?” Will looks deep into his brother’s eyes. I look around the bar and see everyone staring, my heartbeat fills my ears, almost giving me a headache. 

“Will,” Jay warns.

“You’re giving me nothing,” Will turns his attention to me, his gaze is probing. “It was just a kiss, but…. But you want it to be more.”

“Will,” Jay warns again, everyone else on the other hand finds this exchange incredibly hilarious. 

“Alright, who owes who?” Will asks. Both Jay’s and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I watch stunned as people start exchanging cash, they mumble as they try to figure out who gets the payout. 

“Did you know about this?” I ask Jay. 

“No,” he runs his hand over his face, already exhausted by the night. 

“This is insane,” I whisper. Stella walks up to the group and realizes what’s going on. 

“Oh thank you! What’s my share?” She turns to Kevin and he puts some bills in her hand. 

“You too?”

“Yeah, and I think this shows how good of a friend I am because I was right.”

“I quit.”

“Haha yeah good luck with that,” Stella chuckles before heading into the office. 

Finally the last of the customers exit Molly’s leaving Jay and I in the bar. It was a night full of teasing and betrayal, the more of our friends that showed up at the bar the more the bet was brought up. Even Matt was in on it, he was mad we couldn’t wait another week otherwise he would’ve had the pot to himself. 

Jay is putting empty chairs on top of the tables as I finish wiping down the bar top. I move to start cleaning the booths against the wall. When I stand back up, Jay’s behind me rubbing my shoulders. 

“Are you feeling okay?” I lean back into his warmth. 

“Yeah, I feel really good,” I look back up at him. 

“I’m sorry about Will,” I laugh. 

“That was unexpected for sure, but in the end it made telling everyone easier,” I try to lighten the situation so Jay doesn’t punch out his brother the next time he sees him. 

“Still, it wasn’t his to tell,” he kisses my temple before grabbing the rag and cleaning the next booth. I follow him and grab the rag out of his hand to make him look at me. 

“I can think of a few ways that you can make it up to me,” I flirt. Jay grabs my waist and pulls me in between him and the table. 

“Yeah, I’m happy to oblige,” he leans down and kisses my lips. This time it’s slow and gentle. “Are you free Friday night?”

“I am, what do you have in mind?” I rest my hands on his chest. 

“I’m going to take you out, make it a proper first date,” my hands move to rest on his biceps. 

“First?”

“Yeah.”

“Some would say we’ve already had a first date.”

“When?” 

“When you came over to my place.”

“What, no, that wasn’t a date,” he says trying to think through the nights.

“Well there was food, and just the two of us talking,” I try to reason. “Well actually we’ve been on multiple dates already.” 

“No, it’s not a date unless I ask you, therefore those were not dates,” I smile. A glimmer of light catches my eye near Jay’s neck. A gold chain peaks out from his neckline. I slowly pull the chain out and run my thumb over the medallion. The details are so intricate, the name Saint Christopher is engraved into the metal. “It’s the saint of protection.”

“It’s incredible.”

“My mom gave it to me before I left for the war, she wore it everyday before that,” I tuck the necklace back into his shirt. 

“That’s a beautiful memory.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s ok to miss her,” he nods.

“I know,” he replies sweetly. “C’mon let’s get moving,” he pulls me away from the table and smacks my butt. 

“How sinful!” I joke. 

“I’ll show you sinful,” he says and begins to chase me around the empty bar. He finally grabs my waist, pulling me back to him. Jay kisses my face relentlessly causing me to scream out in laughter.

Taglist: @whit85-blog @bestillmystuckyheart @nocturnalherb16 @5sos-imagine @miranda0102 @thexplosivegirl @annalism

[apocalypseornaw]

Always be Yours- 2

Word Count 5,437 *not my gif*

Story Summary: Inspired by the 2 part I did of the same title. Follows Dean and Reader through season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: Adaddon is back and using two hunters to draw the boys into a trap so of course you're right there with them

Warnings: cursing, fights, minor character death

Dean could hear your laughter drifting down the hall the moment he stepped out of his room. You'd only been at the bunker a week or so but you'd always had a habit of making any place feel your presence. Hell even Crowley asked if he could see you when he found out you were there. Kevin was acting more normal than he'd ever seen the kid and it was a bit of a relief to know he wasn't the only one keeping a close eye on Sam should Ezekial decide to not hold up his end of the bargain.

He headed towards the kitchen and could hear music. The closer he got he made out the tune of "You give love a bad name" when he stepped around the corner he was met with the sight of Sam spinning you around while you sang along word for word. Kevin was sitting at the table working on a large stack of pancakes and laughing at the show of you and Sam dancing around the kitchen in your pajamas. The two of you had formed a close friendship back when you were both the youngest kids being pawned off on Bobby during hunts and Dean would be lying if he said he didn't wish you were as comfortable around him as you were Sam.

He could still remember the first case him and Sam worked solo with you. It was the Croatoan virus. You hadn't blinked an eye when you refused to leave Sam's side when he was exposed telling them both that if they were giving in so were you. Over the years you'd been in and out of their lives and the day he'd been dragged out of hell you showed up at Bobby's and had a blade to his neck before him or Bobby could explain. When they proved it was really him that was the first time you'd ever hugged him. You'd pratically squealed when you jumped into his arms "Dean! You're back!"

You always had a habit that no matter how long you went without seeing him or Sam you always treated them as if you'd just seen them the day before. When Sam was soulless you helped him to track down Death to get Sam's soul back. He'd never seen you back down from a fight especially if someone you cared about was fighting.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when you slid to a stop in front of him and held a hand out to him. "C'mon Dean" you pleaded and he shook his head "I haven't even had my coffee yet Y/N" you being the ever persistent woman you were rolled your eyes then looked over your shoulder at Sam "Be a good little brother and fix the man some coffee" Sam grinned as he moved to grab Dean's mug and you turned back around to Dean with a smile "So now what's your excuse?" the song switched to "Have you ever seen the rain" and your eyes lit up when he hummed the first couple bars before hesitantly taking your hand.

You slid your arms up around his neck and he put his hands at your waist careful not to catch the bare skin when your shirt rode up slightly. Normally he'd feel stupid as hell dancing in the kitchen? Especially with an audience but the smile on your face was worth it, most of the time you tried to keep up the front of a fearless hunter but since Bobby's death you'd started to let your guard fall more often and around more people than just Sam. When the song ended you winked at him and said "Who knew Dean Winchester can dance?" then moved to turn the player down. Sam cleared his throat and looked from you to Dean before holding the coffee out "Want your coffee Dean?" when you turned your back Sam raised his eyebrows and Dean shot him a glare "Thanks Sammy" you thankfully didn't see the look passed between them when you turned around to ask Kevin if he wanted orange juice.

-------

The ease of the morning was interrupted by a phone call coming in about a busload of bodies found on a naval base. That mixed with the freaky storms and dead cattle circling that area screamed demon. You grabbed your duffel bag and the bag with your fed suit then stepped out of your room and met up with Kevin in the hallway. He glanced down towards the armory so you shot him a smile "Just stay away from him Kev. He'll try to get into your head and it's not worth it" he gave you a small smile in return "I'll stay away from him Y/N" he turned to head to the library so you headed for the map room where Sam and Dean stood waiting. Dean's eyes skimmed over you and your crossed your arms "Is there a problem Dean?" he met your eyes and smirked slightly "Naw, just you're gonna be a lot more fun to look at all day than Sammy here" you rolled your eyes and chunked your duffel bag to him considering they both already kept go bags in baby's trunk "Easy tiger, we got work to do"

You walked next to Sam up the stairs talking about the case and what could possibly be waiting.

------

When Dean rolled to a stop right outside the area that had been tapped off you slid your ID into your pocket then climbed out the backseat. You had stopped off about ten miles back for all of you to change into your suits. "This place reeks of sulphur" Sam muttered and you nodded "Between the stink and the storms.." "Mixed with the dead cattle I'll take demons for a thousand Alex" Dean finished holding the police tape up for you to walk underneath.

The MP noticed the three of you and headed your way so you pulled your badges out while Dean did the introduction "Agents Stark, Banner and Barnes. FBI. Just need to have a look around" She didn't hesitate to ask "Why? This is a military case, not a federal one" "Well that's not what our supervisor said" you interjected and if anything you speaking seemed to make her attitude that much worse "That so? Then maybe him and I ought to have a chat" Sam cut his eyes at you and Dean said "Ok" then pulled his phone out. You wondered what he was doing and leaned up slightly to see him hit Kevin's number.

"Hey boss, we got a little problem" poor Kevin you just hoped he knew to play along. After a beat Dean continued "Yeah just a local badge needs a little confirmation we're supposed to be here. How the word came down from FBI headquarters in D.C." you were glad you were used to situations like this because if not you probably would've laughed imagining how confused Kevin must be but nonetheless Dean said "Yeah" then held the phone out to the MP.

She looked between the three of you before saying "This is sergeant Miranda Bates. Who am I talking to?" She looked back at Dean who you knew by far wouldn't break before asking Kevin "How old are you?" you were started to get annoyed with her attitude when she said "Listen kid, I don't have to do anything and I don't take orders from the feebs so unless you can give me one good reason you got a couple of pretty boy agents and their handler poking around my crime scene" "Handler?" you scoffed and Sam reached a hand out to pull you back next to him as she kept ranting "I'm gonna put them in cuffs and spank your ass raw"

Her face fell at something Kevin said "What?..How did you find that?" You looked between the boys to see if they had any idea what Kevin was telling her but they both shrugged. She finally said "Yes sir" then handed Dean's phone back and walked away.

Dean was barely holding back a smile when he said "Kevin, what the hell did you just do?" Sam motioned to the bus so Dean waved the two of you ahead.

You stepped on the bus behind Sam and went to the first body while Sam started looking over a different one. "Sam look" you pushed back the guy's shirt with a pen to show the bullet hole in his chest. All the bodies had fatal wounds but they were all also long dead.

Dean then stepped up on the bus and asked "Got anything?" Sam nodded to the body nearest you "This guy was shot in the heart" "That what killed him?" he asked and Sam looked at you so you shrugged "Maybe? but like ten or twenty years ago" Dean glanced at Sam who added "All these bodies have fatal wounds but they're all old" "So meatsuits?" Dean guessed so you nodded "Bodies took a licking but demons kept them ticking"

"And now they're riding the soldiers" Sam added. Dean looked behind Sam "Hey" you looked up to see sergeant Bates walking up onto the bus with a tablet in her hands "Excuse me agents. We pulled this off the security camera. You might want to take a look" Sam reached out for it so you moved to the side so Dean could see the screen as well. It clearly showed the soldiers walking away but Sam froze on one woman in particular. You knew they couldn't tell you why in front of Bates but the moment the three of you stepped off the bus Dean said "Abaddon? Seriously?" and you knew why Sam had frozen the screen. That was the demon that had attacked the men of letters and who killed their grandfather Henry after him and her jumped through a magical portal to recent time.

"I thought you kentucky fried that meatsuit?" Dean asked Sam who shrugged "I did Dean" "Then how did she get it back?" you asked and nodded to the cop that held the tape up for you to pass. "And why's she playing G.I. Joe?" Dean said and Sam responded "No clue. Why don't you ask her when we find her?"

You slid into the backseat and pulled your suit jacket off while Dean pulled out onto the road and said "Oh I will and then I'm gonna chop her freaking head off..again"

------

After stopping off long enough for all of you to change back into normal clothes you got back on the road to the bunker. It was already dark out and you were laid across the backseat when Sam's phone rang and you heard him say "Hold on Kevin..Wait..slow down" Sam cut his eyes back when you sat up then put the phone on speaker while Kevin repeated the coordinates he'd been given then said "And she gave me two names. Irv Franklin and Tracy Bell" "Irv's a friend, don't know Tracy" Dean cut in before Kevin continued "All right, the lady said they were hunters and that if you didn't go save them that she would kill them" "Yeah heard that song before" Dean grumbled but you were looking up the coordinates to see where you were all headed.

"Dean, who was she?" Kevin asked so you answered without looking up "The bad guy" Dean asked Kevin to dig up everything the men of letters had on the knights of hell. Abaddon was one although you didn't know exactly what that entailed. After Sam hung up with Kevin you leaned up between him and Dean "The numbers point to a spot on the outskirts of Eugene, Oregon" then glanced between the two of them "Are we gonna adknowledge this is a trap right?"

"Yup" Dean said matter of factly. You turned your head to look at Sam when he asked "And we're just gonna walk right into it?" "Guns blazing" you answered and saw Dean glance your way in the mirror. "Well Y/N's with me, Sam?" Sam of course said "You know it"

------

You drove through the night and stopped a few miles shy of where Abaddon wanted to meet so all of you could be as well prepared as possible. The place was completely abandoned. Dean gave voice to your thoughts when he asked "What the hell happened here?" "A local chemical plant sprang a leak years ago. They evacuated three square blocks. Guess it's still contaminated"

"Wait? So this whole place is poison?" you asked, a little worried. "Yeah" Sam replied and you laughed when you saw Dean's hand move to cover his crotch "That's not gonna help" Sam told him with a sigh. Dean realized you'd seen him and shrugged "It doesn't hurt"

One thing you'd gotten used to was that when you hunted with them both they had a habit of keeping you between them when they could. You weren't sure if it was on purpose or not. The three of you walked further into the town then heard a slam coming from an old diner that caused you and Sam to pull your guns. Dean nodded so you covered Sam while he kicked the door in.

"Clear" you and Dean went in behind him so you kept an eye on the kitchen to make sure there was no surprises while Dean untied Irv and who had to be Tracy. You glanced back when he said Abaddon had been torturing hunters to get information on Sam and Dean. If you hadn't been with them she might have gotten her claws on you.

Dean gave Irv a shot of holy water while Sam gave one to Tracy who rolled her eyes "Happy?" she was slinging more aggression towards Sam than you would've liked but now wasn't the time. Irv nodded to you when Dean untied him "Y/N, good to see ya" "Yeah" you said then once again Tracy got mouthy with Sam when he introduced himself. You knew the look you had when Irv quickly explained "She's new. We worked a shifter job in Sacramento together. Smart but got a mouth on her" She scoffed so you clicked your tongue "Honey we ain't got time for whatever you got going on. We need to gear up and clear out" Dean tilted his head towards you "What she said"

------

You were helping Dean lay out every weapon you'd grabbed. "We got jesus juice, devil's trap bullets shoot a demon with them and put em on lockdown" He explained and you spun an angel blade in your hand "Angel blades work"

Irv took a gun loaded with Devil's trap bullets about the time Sam said "They're coming" "Good" Dean said handing you a vial of holy water. "They've got assault rifles" Sam added and you cursed under your breath "Ok, less good"

Irv looked at Dean "So, what's the play?" Dean looked at you "Give me your phone" you handed it over without question and watched him record a voice memo of himself saying "COME AND GET IT YOU DICKS" and knew his plan. You grabbed one of the cake trays and drug it over in front of him "Prop it up here" he did as you said then looked between everyone else. "Let's go"

------

All of you made it out behind the cafe so Dean looked around "We got to flank seal team douche in there so uh Irv, you and me will go left. Sam, you Y/N and Tracy go right" "Ok let's move" Sam said and reached for Tracy's arm but she shoved him back "Don't touch me" "What is your problem?" you asked feeling Dean grab you around the waist with one arm to hold you in place while he repeated the question.

Tracy's eyes never moved off of Sam "My family's dead because of him" "What?" Sam asked and in that moment you could've knocked Tracy flat just for the guilt in his eyes. She looked back at you then at Dean before saying "I watched a demon slaughter my parents and the whole time it talked about how it was celebrating how some dumb kid let Lucifer out of his cage" you looked over your shoulder at Dean and he slid his arm from around you. "Ok we got to move. Y/N you go with Sam and Irv, Tracy with me" you didn't really want to leave her with Dean in case it became a your brother did this to my people so I'm gonna do this to you type of thing but it wasn't like you were in a position to start an argument. You simply nodded and tapped Sam's shoulder "Let's go"

------

You were walking close to Sam gripping your gun and trying to keep an eye out, He had the demon blade in his hand and Irv was behind you. "Sam you copacetic?" Irv asked and Sam nodded "I'm good" Irv glanced at you then said "Good. Give me that toothpick, grab Y/N then you two get Dean and Tracy and get the hell out of here" "What?" you asked in shock and Irv explained "I'm going in there alone. I'll buy you as much time as I can"

"Irv, that's death" Sam glanced at you for help but you didn't know what to say at a friend basically asking for the two of you to be ok with him killing himself. Irv looked ashamed when he finally spoke "Yeah, well it's what I got coming..It's my fault. I was in some dive and I was sloppy and lonely" Sam glanced at you as Irv continued "And I met some girl and the next thing you know, I'm strapped to some bed and she's twisting things that ain't supposed to be twisted" "She who?" Sam questioned but you had a feeling you already knew the answer Irv saying "Abaddon" just confirmed you were right.

Irv's voice broke when he said "I gave em up. Pete,Tracy,even you Y/N. I gave em all up. So Sam you hand me that blade and you let me do what I got to do or so help me" but he had moved to the point his back wasn't blocked by any building and a shot rang out a second before Irv fell. Sam instinctively pushed you back and pulled his gun. You nodded that you were ok then you both leaned out to return fire then make a break for the diner that was across the street.

You fell in behind Sam and looked up to see one of the demon's holding you at gunpoint "Boo"

He snatched you to your feet and Sam dove for him with the demon blade but another demon popped up and knocked Sam sideways then both of you were thrown over the counter. You scrambled to your feet again about the time the third demon walked around the corner and smiled "Cool. I didn't miss the best part"

------

Safe to say you and Sam were getting your asses handed to you. He had his head slammed into a wall and you thought he was unconscious then suddenly his eyes glowed blue and he looked at "GET DOWN" "Bout time you pop up" you muttered diving back behind the counter and tucking yourself into the smallest ball possible as Ezekiel's wings shown on the wall of the diner.

You stayed in that position until the door of the diner opened and Dean called your name. He let out a visible breath when you popped up. "Fuck don't hide again!" "He told me to!" you argued pointing at Ezekiel who was stabbing the last demon in the head with the demon blade. "They were going to kill him and her Dean" "Ezekiel?" Dean asked and you nodded. "What the hell did you do?" Dean pushed and Ezekiel turned to face him "I was protecting your brother and Y/N. I thought that was what you wanted" "Yeah of course, Thank you we're just still getting used to all this" you cut in and Ezekiel looked around "As am I" "Sam's ok?' you asked and Ezekiel explained that he had been knocked unconscious and in a way still was and wouldn't remember what happened. "So what the hell am I supposed to tell him when he comes to?" Dean asked and Ezekiel held the demon blade out "Which was why I used the knife"

"Right, smart" Dean took the blade then looked at you when Ezekiel spoke "You are troubled still" Dean turned back towards him "Yeah it's just that uh. Yeah this is on me. I was the one who talked Sam out of boarding up hell so every demon deal, every person they kill you're looking at the person who let it happen" "Dean" you tried but he wouldn't even look at you. "You were protecting your brother" Ezekiel offered then continued "I am in Sam's head. Everything he knows I know. and I know that what you did you did out of love"

Dean scoffed "Look Zeke, I'm gonna call you Zeke. I'm not really with the whole uh love and well love" you were standing there looking between the two of them when Ezekiel said "but it is why I said yes" "Yeah and if that goes sideways that's on me too" you finally snapped at Dean "PLEASE STOP HATING YOURSELF FOR FIVE SECONDS"

They both looked a little startled so you took a breath and said "We're trusting you Ezekiel" Dean finally shook himself out the shock of you hollering at him to say "and I just hope you're one of the good guys" "I am" Ezekiel said then added "But I suppose that's what a bad guy would say...Dean Winchester you are going the right thing" you took a deep breath and look at Ezekiel "How about letting Sam take back control? me and Dean will clean up before he wakes up" Ezekiel nodded then walked over to where Sam had been knocked out and sat back.

------

Once his head drooped over you moved to help Dean load the weapons back into the bag. Neither of you spoke until Sam started to stir.

When he groaned you made it to his side first "Sam?" "Sammy?" Dean asked helping Sam to his feet. Sam looked at you "What the hell happened?" you shrugged "You took a shot to the head, I was about to be the pinata for these asshats before Dean decided to slide in and save our asses"

Sam looked at Dean "You killed three demons, alone?" Dean shrugged "Took them by surprise. Got a little messy, I got a little lucky oh and I'm awesome so there's that" Sam looked around and you smirked when he said "You are pretty damn awesome"

You heard an engine roll up and looked out the window to see Tracy roll up in baby and looked back at Dean "She gets to drive baby and I don't?" Dean tried to explain but you simply grabbed the weapons as the three of you headed outside.

------

Tracy looked at Sam "You good?" "Yeah, more or less" and you smiled when her reply was "Good." She chunked the keys to Dean "I got everything but guess I'm late to the party" "Lucky you" you muttered and walked around to get in behind Sam as Dean said "Let's blow this toxic dump. Burgers and silkwood showers on me"

------

After you dropped Tracy off at one of her friend's houses you and the boys got back on the road. You hadn't really said much to either of them. You were thinking about Ezekiel and if he truly was a good guy. Sam was used to the way you'd get quiet sometimes but Dean had looked in the mirror about a dozen times before you finally said "Speak Dean" he shrugged "You pissed at me?"

You knew you had to look as confused as you felt so he clarified "Tracy driving baby?" you laughed "Naw if you wanted to let me drive her you would" and shrugged he looked a bit hurt so you winked at him to let him know you weren't upset about that. 

------

Twenty miles from Lebanon Dean decided to stop to get Kevin some food. You were sitting in the backseat with your head leaned back while Sam checked his emails.

You glanced up when the door closest to you opened and was surprised to see Dean holding the car keys out to you "I really don't want you killing me in my sleep" you grinned and snatched them from him not risking him changing his mind.

-------

When you pulled up to the bunker and killed the engine you looked back at Dean who was watching you and smiled "Thank you" he took the keys that you were holding out and nodded "Wait, you're still staying around right?" you didn't stop to think Sam hadn't heard that conversation between you and Dean before he said "What?" you shook your head and climbed out the car "Don't worry about it Sam I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

-------

Kevin was nowhere to be found and considering Crowley killed his mom the three of you ran to the armory.

Crowley was beat up but at least not dead and neither was Kevin. "Who worked you over?" Sam asked. Crowley looked at you then said "Martin Hayward and Brandon Favors" "They did this?" you asked but he shook his head "No they're demons. Your boys wanted names, I'm giving names. They're underperformers. Spike them, You're doing me a favor"

Dean smirked "Wow, you break easy" Crowley rolled his eyes "Please,your little plan to have me stir in my own delicious juices? Pathetic. You want intel, I want things too. Maybe we can come to some kind of arrangement. Quid pro quo gentlemen" "So these names are freebies?" you asked and Crowley smiled at you "Not at all sweets.You can consider them fair trade for the enjoyment Kevin gave me" "What the hell's that supposed to mean?" You and Dean asked in unison and Crowley quirked an eyebrow at that before saying "He's my new favorite toy. Wind him up and watch him go" You glared at him "You red eyed bastard" then spun around to walk out the armory and find Kevin. You heard Dean tell Sam "Check the names, I'll help Y/N find the kid"

------

You found him packed up and trying to leave "Where are you going?" Dean asked but Kevin kept walking so you stepped in his path. "Y/N you can't keep me locked up here. I'm leaving" "Like hell" Dean said and you cut your eyes at him "Kev we told you not to talk to Crowley he messes with your head" "He said my mom was alive, that if I let him go he'd give her back"

"And you believed him?" Dean asked with a scoff. "He's still in there isn't he?" you moved to put yourself between Dean and Kevin before saying "Kev, Crowley's lying" "And if he's not?" he asked and you were glad for once that Dean answered "Than she's dead, in every way that matters anyways. We're sorry Kevin"

"I know you're dying to bolt. I get it but out that door it's angels and demons and they'd all love to get their hands on a prophet so even with Crowley here..It's still the safest place for you" you took a breath hoping you'd gotten through to the kid. "and we need you" Dean added.

It hurt your heart when Kevin assumed "Because I'm useful?" but you couldn't help but smile when Dean answered "No,because you're family. Same as Y/N. If you don't think after all we've been through together we all wouldn't die for each other man I don't know what to tell you. We're all we got but hey if none of that matters to you then I won't stop you and I won't let Y/N"

Kevin looked at you then slowly nodded "Ok" you cut your eyes at Dean "I'm gonna get him to his room then I'll come find you and Sam" 

-------

You walked into the library and heard Dean telling Sam "You have helped a lot more people than you've hurt" and guessed it was due to what Tracy said so you stepped further in and Dean waved you over and sat a glass of whiskey in front of you. 

You took it then sat down next to Sam. Dean looked back at him then said "All of that was then" he held up his glass so you did the same and bumped Sam's shoulder so he'd join in when Dean said "Here's to now"

You clicked your glasses against theirs then took a sip. "You both ready for it?" Sam asked so you looked at Dean who questioned "Ready for what?" "Fallens angels, Abaddon. Cas losing his halo, Crowley living in our basement"

You half laughed "Dean you invited me to move into a freakin sitcom" Dean shrugged "At least you have company?" Then turned his attention to Sam "What about you? How's the engine running?" 

Sam looked between the two of you before saying "Honestly? I feel better than I have in a long time. I know it's crazy out there but I look around here and I see friends and family. I'm happier than I've been in forever. It's just things are good" Dean met your eyes and nodded "Never better" 

------

Sam had already headed to bed and Dean went to check in on Kevin. You knew you wouldn't wind down for a while so you collected the books Kevin had pulled about the knights of hell and laid them out across one of the tables in the library. 

You poured yourself another glass of whiskey then sat down. You were halfway through the first book when Dean cleared his throat and you glanced up to see him leaning against the doorway "I figured you went to bed" you said and held the bottle out. He took it then sat across from you "I figured you did too"

He poured a glass then reached for one of the books so you slid it across to him. The two of you read in silence for a few minutes before he called your name. You glanced up "Yeah?" "What was that about?" You weren't exactly sure what he meant so you asked "What was what about?"

He closed the book and for once there was no humor in his face when he asked "You yelling at me about not hating myself for five minutes?" Oh that was what he meant. You finally answered "You're very self deprecating Dean even worse than Sam. I can't stand it" he nodded but still pushed "Why?"

You sighed and laid the book down pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and trying to get the words right before you spoke them "You're a good man Dean. You damn near raised Sam, you have saved so many people. You have a good heart and even when you fuck up it's due to good intentions and don't start about the road to hell being paved with good intentions you know what I mean. When it comes down to it there's no one else I'd rather have to back me in a fight or as a friend" the corner of his lips ticked up in a small smirk "um thanks?" You shrugged "It's the truth. Now let's finish with these books we're currently on then I think we should head to bed" "Yours or mine?" He teased with a smirk but you knew the best way to handle Dean was to give his own medicine right back to him so you quickly fired back "Oh honey I just don't think you could handle me"  and laughed at the look on his face "Yeah I can definitely see why Sam likes having you around" "oh and you don't like having me around not even in the least?" You asked and and he rolled his eyes then pushed the book you'd been reading back at you "Read your book Y/N" 

You turned your attention back to the book but noticed the way he kept glancing your way for the next half hour. When you finally closed your book to head to bed you stood and stretched "See you in the morning?" He nodded "I'll be the best looking one" you shook your head with a smile then headed to your room.

Tags: @akshi8278 @facadeformyrealblog

[mae-gi-writes]

Kevin Frost | Kevin Moon (The Boyz)

Summary ❄ Being sick every winter sucks, until winter itself decides to bring itself to you in the form of Kevin Frost.

Genre ❄ fluff, fantasy, inspired by Jack Frost (as per my beautiful @nyuwings​ request)

A/N ❄ for my lovely @nyuwings​ with whom I’ve bonded with so quickly I keep wondering whether we’re soulmates. Thank you for your presence and for just being you. Ily. ❤

° . · ❄ · . °

Sighing for the nth time, you placed your hands up against the window, palms turning icy cold as you took in the array of snowflakes floating to the ground. It was that time of the year again, a time that signified celebration as the town of Sleva would get covered in a blanket of what your brothers liked to call fairy dust. Snow would bathe the entire streets white and would glimmer in the light of the street lamps lining the streets. You could already spot the Christmas lights in variants of red and green and yellow gold strung across the main intersections, probably where the Christmas market would be. Right about that time merchants would line the streets with their wooden carts, shouting out about all the fresh sausages and special meats they’d offer for a good price for the festive season. 

You knew Christmas season like the back of your hand. It was ironic then, that you were the only person not allowed out whenever Christmas and winter came around. 

“You’re sick,” your mother had scolded you once when you had mustered up the courage to ask her why you were the only one being left behind, “you’ll die if you go out in the snow.” 

And it was true. Your lungs were small, pea-sized, as the doctor had mentioned at one of your checkups. It was about the same time when you started asking questions, curiosity finally picking away at your logic. Going out in the snow and allowing your body to suffer the cold would deliver a fatal blow to your nervous system. 

He had not, however, told your parents to keep you locked in like a prisoner that would instantly face death the moment you caught wind of cold. But while your parents had taken dramatic measures to keep you tightly tucked in warmth until summer came around once more, you’d like to think that it was more of an exaggeration as an extension of their concern for your well-being, and not the actual truth. 

So that was why you were sitting like the pathetic picture that you were, staring out at the countless other people trudging through snow and laughing as they made up snowballs and built snowmen in their driveways. You wondered briefly what your friends were up to, knowing full well from their recounted stories that at this time of year they’d flock to the bars to catch glimpses of the beautiful young men, soldiers and men from military that would come home from their basecamps on these special occasions. 

“We can sneak you out!” One of your friends exclaimed the first time you had explained the real reason as to why you could barely set foot outside, “And we’ll bring you home before your parents wake up.” 

You shook your head though, politely denying their requests as your heart ached, “it’s fine. You guys have fun.” 

“We’ll find a nice catch for you, Y/N,” another winked at you and you plastered a smile on your face right up until they had turned the corner.

You had cried yourself to sleep that night.

So there you sat every day and night, surprised that your butt hadn’t made an indentation on the chair yet as the sound of your mother’s cooking echoed up the stairs. The attic was where you liked to spend most of your time. It was a place where you could be at peace with yourself and enjoy your own company, the silence that came with it filling your mind with nothing but serenity.

Something flashed across the window. 

Probably a snowball, you thought to yourself as you rubbed your eyes. The smell of your mother’s famous dumplings wafted through the attic room and you sniffed the air, stomach growling in anticipation. There was bound to be a feast on Christmas eve. It was a tradition your family never missed out.

A group of children were busy building a snowman in the yard opposite yours and snuggling a little closer to the window, you pulled your blanket tighter around your frame as you watched them, giggling amongst themselves, while sticking the carrot to form its nose. 

Another flash. So fast and blurred that you cried out in shock and almost toppled over from your seat. 

Blinking, you stared long and hard at what you thought you had seen. If you weren’t mistaken, you swore that it had looked a lot like--

“Hello!” 

You screamed, toppling over for good this time. You landed on your butt and must’ve caused a ruckus for your mother’s voice to float up questioningly, “Y/N? Are you okay?” 

“Fine!” you cried back without tearing your eyes away from the window. 

A boy gazed back at you with amusement glimmering through his eyes. No, not a boy. More like a young man in his twenties, maybe about the same age as you were.

And he was floating.

You opened your mouth only for the words to choke the back of your throat. You coughed instead and didn’t realize that the said young man had propped open the window until you heard him ask, “you good there? That was quite a fall--”

Rushing to clamp a hand over his mouth, you hurriedly looked back towards the staircase. Thank god it seemed like your mother was so engrossed in her cooking and you sighed in relief, before realizing that you were a little too close to the said stranger. 

Pulling away quickly and tugging your blanket over your frame, you hissed out, “who are you?” in a tone that you hoped was threatening enough for him to understand you were not here to make friendly conversation. If anything, he was a stranger and he was weird.

But either he was used to people’s rude demeanour or he just didn’t care, for he merely brushed some snow out of his raven coloured hair before settling himself on the window frame more comfortably. He had a wooden cane gripped tightly in his left hand and his feet were left bare. You wondered briefly whether he was cold.

“My apologies for barging in without introductions,” his voice was melodic, smooth, “my name is Kevin Frost. I’m...winter?” 

Your eyebrows dipped into a frown, “excuse me?”

“I’m winter personified. Kind of like a guardian, weather guardian. In my case, guardian of winter,” he lifted his cane as if proving a point. Except, what was so special about it? It just looked like a tree branch he’d picked up along the way, “I’m responsible for the snow, I guess?” 

“You guess?” 

This guy was crazy. 

It seemed like he read your mind, for he sighed and threw you a sympathetic look, “you don’t believe me.” 

“You end your statements like they’re questions. How am I supposed to be convinced by that?” 

Kevin lifted his hand at your words and as he twirled his fingers through air, a wisp of snowflakes suddenly danced along his knuckles as if by magic. Blinking in astonishment, your jaw fell open without warning and he chuckled, “close your mouth, sweetheart. You might catch a fly.”

You snapped your mouth shut, “there are no flies in winter,” you muttered through narrowed eyes while crossing your arms over your middle, “so say what you’re saying is real...What does that mean?” 

“That I control winter, kinda. I come around every year when the season rolls around.”

“Why?” 

“Why? Because the world needs winter,” he scoffed as though you had asked the most stupidest question, “without winter, the cycle would be broken.” 

“Well, you can take your winter and use it elsewhere.” 

He looked at you for a second too long that you couldn’t help but shift uneasily under his darkened gaze, “What?” you asked, though averting your eyes at the sudden change in his demeanour.

“You don’t like winter.” 

He said it like a statement. Without question. Confident that what he told was the truth. 

And he was right.

“What?!” it was his jaw that fell open this time, “so what? You’ve never touched snow before?” 

“I don’t,” you answered.

"Why not?"

Biting the inside of your cheek, you said, “I...my health isn’t the best during winter. I can’t go out.” 

You shook your head and his eyes grew even wider if that was possible, so baffled by your statement that he almost dropped his cane, “Oh that is really shitty.”

“Oh yes,” your eyes glued themselves to the floor, “that’s me.” 

The silence that followed made your heart drop. Why were divulging your darkest thoughts to a mere stranger? And one that climbed through windows and could weld snow like it was as easy as breathing? 

But Kevin’s hand reached out, palm open and facing upwards as his face softened. It was almost like he understood what it felt like to be different, deprived from something that everyone else could enjoy, “I think I can help with that.” 

“Uhm,” your eyes were skeptically analyzing the small wisps of cold air surrounding said hand, “I don’t think that’s the answer--”

“Just trust me.” 

“You’re a stranger.”

“And I’m the only way you can enjoy winter.” 

Maybe it was the truth that rang through his words despite barely knowing him, or maybe it was the idea of finally being free of the bodily chains that held you down and just out of reach of the unknown. But one look at the dark obsidian orbs that swam with nothing but an open invitation was enough to make you reach out, hand gently placing over his and shuddering slightly at the icy coldness of his fingers. 

"Allow me,” he murmured as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder before tugging you with him. And before you knew it, you were tumbling out of your window and into open air as you whipped along with the wind that carried you forward, over the houses, over the cityscape bathed with snow with Kevin’s hold tightening every so slightly on your frame. 

A gust of wind blew in your direction and your shoulders tensed, readying yourself to feel the air nip at your skin and skittle across your clothes with those icy fingers. 

But nothing. Nothing but a soft warmth that slowly spread through your limbs, almost as though you had sat by a warm campfire with a mug of warm hot chocolate. Your eyes shot up to meet Kevin’s, who only grinned at you with playful mischief. 

“Told you that you’d be safe with me, didn’t I?” 

With that, he swooped you along, the edge of your dress skimming the top of houses. You didn’t realize you were yelling in delight the higher you went as your legs dangled. Tingles shot down your spine and into your feet as you looked down at the ground, butterflies roaming your stomach in a mixture of fear and excitement. 

“Oh!--” the air stuck in your throat the moment you spotted the Christmas market, “Is that--Is that the Christmas market?!”

His chuckle grazed your ear, “sure is.”

“And that’s the church! Oh my gosh--It’s so pretty!” Gasping at the wondrous sights that appeared before you like a movie you’ve been dying to watch, you can’t help but tear up in blind joy. This, this is what you’ve been missing out on all this time? You couldn’t believe it; how magical it all was, how authentically beautiful and breathtaking. It was almost like looking into a snow globe. Untouchable. 

“Are you--Are you crying?” the panic laced in Kevin’s voice made you burst out laughing as you felt the ghost of his hand swiping at your cheek. It felt weird hanging in mid-air being too close to a man -- or could you call him a man? -- that was currently wiping away your tears like it was the most mundane occurrence. But at this point you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“No I’m just--It’s beautiful. I--I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on all this,” you spluttered out, chest tight with emotion, “why hasn’t anyone ever told me?” 

“Well to be fair, we are above all humans,” his murmur was so close to your ear that you turned out of curiosity, only to swallow hard at the closeness of your faces. 

You looked away, “and you’re not human?” 

You sensed his hesitation, “...not exactly.” 

“Then what are you?” 

Another round of silence as he struggled to give a coherent answer. Something told you that you weren’t going to be fond of all that he had to say. 

“It’s complicated.” 

You didn’t fight him, knowing full well that it would provoke more questions than provide you answers. He tugged you along silently over the house chimneys, allowing you to ogle at the arrays of food merchants littering the streets and settling you atop one of the roofs to enjoy a live show of musicians in Sleva’s Square. Curiosity burned at the tip of your tongue whenever you caught yourself looking at him for a second too long. But it seemed like your earlier conversation had dulled the light in his eyes and you decided it was best to keep your mouth shut, instead focusing on clapping along to the sound of merry jingles floating through the air.

It was past midnight when Kevin deposited you at your window sill, gingerly settling your feet onto the ground as you allowed your eyes to find his own dark orbs reflecting the dim light of the attic. 

You licked your lips that had run dry from the slow ebbing warmth of Kevin’s presence, “thank you, for today.” 

His grin was contagious, for you felt your own lips tug into a smile, “you’re welcome, sweetheart.” 

You couldn’t help the blush from spreading up your neck at the little pet name that he had garnered, “so who’s the next lucky lady then?” you were quick to change the subject, “you can’t tell me I’m the only who gets to ride along with Kevin Frost.”

He smirked and you swore your heartstrings tugged. Reaching up with his hand, he proceeded to tuck your hair behind your ears and only grinned a little wider when your face flushed.

“You are,” he whispered, and with another cold gust of wind, he was gone before you could utter another word. 

° . · ❄ · . °

Kevin Frost’s presence was starting to become a constant in your life that winter, dropping by on numerous occasions throughout the day and night as he kept you company. He entertained you with stories of his day; how he’d helped a few children ice skate by freezing the entire lake over, or how he’d made it snow a little harder for others to get enough snow to finish off their snowman.

Sometimes, he would whip up some Christmas creations in your attic itself and wrap you in his arms as he danced along to the snowflakes cascading from your ceiling. He’d hum to a few Christmas tunes as you went, stepping onto his feet and him on yours because-- you’d realized shortly after -- that he wasn’t as such of a good dancer as he claimed he was. 

Most nights though, he’d make it a must to fly you to one of the rooftops to enjoy the scenery. You would huddle closer for warmth, your blanket heavy on your shoulders and his arm around you keeping you heated while you exchanged stories of your past and childhood. In exchange he would recollect where he’d come from; how his earliest memory had started from the moment he’d fallen out of an icicle in the North Pole and how, from that day onwards, he’d fly around the world to provide snow when it was necessary.

“So that means you’ll be gone once spring comes around?” you couldn’t help the words that slipped from your mouth. Coughing a little, you nestled closer out of instinct. For some reason, you had been a little weaker these past few days, reason being the numerous secret outings after dinner time. Not that you had mentioned that to your mother when she’d commented on your physical state. That was recipe for disaster.

"My duty will lie elsewhere when that time comes."

"I notice you always talk in riddles whenever you don't want to say things that will hurt people."

He glanced at you, maybe out of shock or maybe just because he already knew how you'd picked up on his habits in the few days that you had spent together.

When he spoke next, his voice was a raspy whisper, “I don’t like hurting people.”

"Don’t avoid my question, Kevin Frost.” 

The words hung between you like a cold breath of winter. Kevin’s skin was warm and yet, your fingers felt numb from gripping one of the roof tiles too hard. 

“Yes,” he pressed his lips together, “I’ll be gone. Until the next winter season.” 

“So you’re leaving me.”

“I never said I was going to stay.” 

The words stung like bees, as though someone had reached into your chest for the sole purpose of squeezing your heart until it pinched with pain. 

He must’ve regretted his outburst, for in the silence that followed there was a soft mumble of his apology. 

"And you said you didn’t like hurting people,” you scoffed and saw him wincing from the corner of your eye, “that’s exactly what you’re doing.” 

Gathering up your skirts and wrapping the blanket a little tighter around your shoulders when you felt a gentle whoosh of the winter air scald your skin, you muttered, “I’d like to go home now.” 

The fly back was laden with a heavy silence that pressed down on your throat and made your eyes burn with the onset of tears, though you refused to cry for him. You knew, deep down, that he’d be gone in the blink of an eye. He wasn’t the personification of winter for nothing and it ultimately wasn’t his fault for leaving you. 

He wasn’t to blame. 

It was just a matter of unleashing your own frustrations because you were going to miss him. More than he could imagine.

The moment your feet touched the wooden edge of your window sill, you fought the urge not to turn around and bury yourself into his arms. He grasped your hand, the other around your waist as he helped you inside like he always did, except this time your heart skipped a beat despite the small pang of pain resonating through your chest. 

“Y/N,” came his murmur the moment your feet touched your attic floor. You turned around reluctantly, heart collapsing the moment you caught sight of the glistening wetness in Kevin’s dark orbs. 

“I--” he took a shaky inhale, stepped towards you until you were close enough for your feet to touch, “I never wanted you to get attached, nor did I want to get attached...to you.”

Your head angled to the floor as you bit your lip, not wanting him to see how much you were breaking inside. 

"Oh come here sweetheart,” and that was when his arms laced around your middle to pull you close, a movement so surprising that it made you gasp. Your hands flew to his chest to push him away, only for him to hold on a little tighter and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck. Your heart felt like it had suddenly been ignited with fireworks, heat coursing through your veins at the sudden display of affection that left you lightheaded.

“I don’t like seeing you unhappy,” his whisper echoed through your ear and as if on impulse he tightened his hold. 

“You’ll...” you broke off when the tears started choking you up, arms going around his chest to press your cheek against his collarbone, “you’ll come back though. You can promise that...right?”

Feeling him nod, you pulled away to get that same affirmation from his eyes, which you did once your gazes locked. Gently, Kevin’s hand went up to hold your cheek, brushing his thumb slightly over your cheekbone and causing your breath to stutter inside your throat. 

Time felt like it had stopped as you stood there, unmoving, just watching the shades of dark brown moving to soft maroon of Kevin’s eyes as the light danced against his face. 

And then he leaned down. His lips feathered over your forehead before pressing a soft, chaste kiss upon it, “I promise.” 

° . · ❄ · . °

As Winter slowly ebbed away with the arrival of Spring, so did Kevin Frost. It was as if you were waking up from a dream all this time, a dream that you hoped would last forever. It was only when it was warm enough to step outside that you spotted all of his silent messages displayed across the town. Ice sculptures depicting two miniature figures flying through the sky, dancing on rooftops and laughing together paved the way from the door of your backyard to the edge of your fencing and you swore that if you had been alone you would’ve broken down into tears.

But you held on to that thin strand of hope that Kevin Frost would return the next winter. You hoped. Believed that he would keep his word. 

Summer was a daze where you occupied yourself helping your brothers, who had recently bought a stand to open up a bakery shop at the end of your street. As you slowly started learning the ropes of rolling dough out and making confectionaries that the locals were so fond of, you slowly developed the skill of decorating them to your liking; which was winter-themed. Soon enough, cookies in the forms of snowflakes were being displayed, there were icy popsicles in the shape of ice-skating rollers, cakes to show the frozen lake and small figurines dancing atop its surface icing. 

The one creation that sold the best out of all these was the pastry depicting a scene from when you and Kevin Frost had sat upon a roof, heads nestled close and looking like there wasn’t anywhere else in the world you’d rather be. You had carved into the dough with the best of your ability, with the details springing from the golden crust once it had gone through the oven as bits and pieces of white chocolate made up the snowflakes falling in that idealistic landscape.

"My daughters just love your creations!” One lady once stated as she bought a cake box and about dozens of your pastry, “she finds them so adorable that she shares them with her friends at recess!” 

“Thank you, ma’am. I’m glad she likes them,” you smiled back as you exchanged the box of goodies for some gold coins. Your brother, named Hyunjae, nudged you the moment the woman was out of earshot, “so now that we’ve established that you know how to bake. Care to elaborate where you met this man?” 

“What?” you tried keeping your face impassive. But you’d be a fool to think your brother would be satisfied with your obliviousness. 

“Y/N, I’d like to know whatever’s going on in that little head of yours,” Hyunjae slung an arm around your shoulder with a sly smirk, “so do please enlighten your brother before he finds that man and lands him one.” 

You gasped, “You wouldn’t dare!” 

“Well it seems like he’s breaking your heart, whoever that man in the pastry is.” 

"I--He’s--There’s no one.”

“Y/N.” 

“Hyunjae, leave her alone,” your eldest brother, who went by the name of Younghoon, just threw Hyunjae a stern stare, “she’ll tell us when she wants to.” 

“You’re no fun Younghoon.” 

Before you knew it, the temperature had dropped and the lush greenery of the foliage adorning the town slowly turned to warm hues of orange and red and yellows that fell to the ground, signalling that a new season was making its way through Sleva. Working in your house kitchen was a given now that it was too cold for your body to handle. You woke up before down each day to prepare the set of pastries and adorned cakes that your brothers would then transport to the market place as you watched, waving until their figures disappeared behind the wooden structures of the buildings. 

And then, the first snow came. 

You weren’t exactly sure when or how Kevin Frost was going to make his appearance. It had been so long that your memory fogged up whenever you tried to remember the details of his features. Did he have a mole at the corner of his eye or was that just a figment of your imagination? Nevertheless, the first time you spotted snowflakes drifting to the ground, there was a rush of adrenaline through your heart and you just knew that Kevin Frost was here.

That night, you set up the fire in your attic as per usual and gathered your blanket around you before huddling over to the edge of the window. No expectations, your mind told you, no expectations that he’d make it to you today. And that was alright.

Your hand went to press against the window pane. It was cold. It sent a shiver through your body and you coughed slightly, muffling it with your palm. 

Who were you kidding? There was absolutely no reason why you sat at the edge of the window with your palms bearing the cold if not for one glimpse of Kevin Frost, one sign from him that he had returned with the winter that buried Sleva in its magical beauty.

You imagined him now, that playful asymmetrical smirk and those gorgeous feline eyes and the tender way he would look at you whenever you would spark a conversation that would keep you awake till the early hours of the morning.

You missed him.

Breath fogging up the glass as your nose went to press against it, you took this moment to close your eyes. 

Get a grip Y/N. You had to live your life just like he was living his. He wasn’t even human, so why? What made him so important that you felt like your heart was constantly dancing to the rhythm of his voice? 

Your eyes fluttered open as you took a breath--

Only to look straight into Kevin Frost’s eyes. 

Gasping in shock, your jaw fell slack as you gazed at his face from behind the window pane, his hand pressing up where yours was as he grinned back at you.

“Kev--” your throat felt tight, “Kevin?” 

Your hands scrabbled for the latch. You flung it open.

He was here. He came back as he had promised.

Your heart swelled twice the size of your chest, tears gathering along your eyes so that they made your sight all blurry as you reached out to feel his hands clasping your own and before you knew it, you were being cradled to Kevin Frost’s chest as he held you as though he was never going to let go.

“Kevin?” your murmur was muffled against his shirt and reaching out to cup your cheek, he tilted your face towards his in a manner so gentle that your lungs seemed to stop functioning altogether. 

His eyes were the same dark obsidian, his nose scrunching in that same manner of his whenever he was deeply amused and whether it was due to your shock, you weren’t about to make a comment when he was here in the flesh, in your arms. 

“Long time no see,” his mouth was pressed to your temple and he pecked the area, over and over again like he himself couldn’t quite believe it, “sweetheart.” 

His pet name made you laugh, though the tears now pooled down your cheeks, “long time indeed.” 

“Kept my promise though, didn’t I?” his hand went up to smooth over the back of your head in an affectionate manner and you swore you felt your heart melt at his touch.

“Still as cocky as ever.” 

“Admit it, you missed me.” 

You grumbled out a small whine of agreement while looking away and Kevin only chuckled in response. He pushed back your hair, curled it behind your ear before cupping your cheek once more as he searched your gaze.

The intensity of his dark orbs made something in your chest constrict, hands tightening ever so slightly on his shirt, “what? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“I wanted to try something.” 

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I saw a bunch of couples doing it so it got me thinking.” 

Heat spread through your cheeks and coursed down the back of your neck at how casually he seemed to handle the matter. It must’ve been obvious from the look on your face for Kevin only chuckled and bent down so close that his nose brushed yours, eyes slowly drifting shut when he angled his head to the side.

When his lips touched yours, you swore your heart burst into a million of fireworks. 

A shy, tentative kiss. A first kiss for Kevin Frost. That was for sure. 

It felt unreal, cold lips against warm ones that made you shudder out of the sheer sensation. His hand moved to the back of your neck, holding you in place as he caught your lower lip between his own. You let out a small sound of appreciation and spurred on, he kept on kissing you that way over and over again while his other arm tugged you close so that you were pressed up to him, all of your curves molded to his hard frame.

He pulled back and for the first time in forever he was the definition of being flustered, red cheeks and shy smile, “how...how did it feel?” he asked like a little five year old boy. 

The grin that almost split your face in two was priceless and you'd never know that his heart was racing hundred miles an hour the moment you did.

"Cold," you giggled at his confused frown, "...and magical."

Satisfied with your answer, the young man pressed another kiss to your cheek in a manner so delicate it made your insides blossom with butterflies.

"So," Kevin turned towards the now open window which was now coated in snowflakes, "shall we?"

Your hand slipped into his as you made your way to the ledge, noting the gentleness of his arm as it wound around your waist and caressed your side.

"Show me what you've made of this winter, Kevin Frost."

[dayzone]

blame this on @skunked-up-kicks for commenting about childhood friends to lovers jeaneil growing up in the nest together

at first, yeah, neil has riko and kevin growing up but they’re riko&kevin

when jean comes around, jean and neil just click. of course, there’s a few months of posturing and an uncountable number of brawls between them before they let each other in, but those are just semantics

they rebel together in subtle ways to feel like they have some semblance of control and shield each other when they don’t have the energy to protect themselves

they memorize each other’s movements on court and synch better than any backliners in the game; their synchronization isn’t just on court either- the other ravens whisper about how eerie the two are, the way they move like every step, every second of the day is choreographed to a dance only they know

neil teaches jean how to pick the locks of the nest doors while jean teaches neil how to pickpocket car keys out of the other raven’s pockets; they sneak out when riko and tetsuji are out of the nest and choose a car at random to hijack for the night so jean can speed down a deserted highway while neil sticks half of his body out of the window to feel the wind rip through his hair and to holler over the bass of the music jean plays, relishing in the deep rumble of jeans laughter. at first, neil hated jeans taste in music, but after a few years he��s come to appreciate the way it drowns everything out.

the speeding and the drowning, heavy beat grinding through the speakers used to calm jean in a way nothing else could, but as he gets older he makes excuses to sneak out to drive just to see the blinding grin neil sends his way

(when they’re older, and healing, jean will drive neil to an overhang at an ungodly time in the night. they’ll sit on the grass, neil between jeans legs, leaning against his chest, and jean will hum an old french song he remembers playing on the radio that sat in his kitchen in marseilles. he’ll hum the song into neils hair, and neil will revel in the deep vibration of jeans chest against his back)

jean teaches neil french in the dark of their room, sometimes spelling words on neils skin with his fingertips

neil, being the fucking spitfire he is, still gets into fights with the ravens, even when he’s just thirteen and the shortest raven is an entire head taller than him. jean stays close whenever the anger that bubbles under neils skin boils over, when neil slams another raven into the wall hard enough to crack their teeth, when he ends up with blood on his smile after starting a brawl with another raven for checking jean just a bit too nastily; jean keeps himself pressed to neil to remind him i’m here, you’re not alone, i’m angry too, let me be your shield for once

they’re so attatched at the hip it doesn’t occur to either of them to label their relationship; they’re nathaniel and jean, number three and number four, best backliners in the history of exy and partners for life; they don’t need an unnecessary label to know where they stand, not between them

neil kisses jean for the first time when he’s sixteen, jean seventeen; they’re supposed to be watching a game in their room but all neil can focus on is the shadows jean’s eyelashes are casting on his cheeks, can only feel the way his heart speeds up just a bit every time he glances at the way jeans fingers are splayed against his thighs, thinking about the way jean played so well at practice earlier and how none of the backliners on the screen even begin to compare to jean. he taps at the freckle on the inside of jeans right wrist, a spot neils fingers always seem to gravitate towards, and when jean turns his head to neil, eyes sleepy and eyebrows questioning, neil murmurs quietly, “you know you’re my favorite, right?” and slotting his lips against jeans before he can respond

it should scare neil, the way it feels so right, the way he’s not scared at all, but he can’t when jean has his fingers ghosting against neils jaw and ribs, he can’t be scared when jean pulls neils bottom lip between his teeth languidly, sending a tremor through neil

it’s all so easy and feels so natural and neil can’t see anyone by his side other than jean

and yeah- jean still has so much anger festering in his ribs towards his parents for what they did to him, still yearns for his younger sister so strongly that it feels incapacitating sometimes, still despises the nest despite the ugly pride he has for it all, but. but he’s got nathaniel, who never left his side even when their faces were bloody and bruised because of each other’s fists those first few months, even when jean would lash out and try to isolate himself. neils always been there and the idea of neil leaving him hasn’t ever even entered his mind

their situation is fucking shit and they’ve been dealt the worst hand possible but they’ve got each other to cling to and that’s enough

[stay-tinystars]

Hurting, and Healing

Kevin Moon (non idol) x reader (fem. Implied, reader wears dress)

Old friends reacquainted. Not a love story.

Warnings:discussions of past abusive relationship (non graphic), discussions of therapy, guilt, and surviors guilt. [Please let me know if I missed any]

Angst!

Word count: 1536

A/N: this was originally a song fic, that changed drastically. This is a very angsty story, with little fluff. No romance, just old friends reacquainted. I'm not sure why I wrote this, but I needed to get this out apparently. Please let me know what you think.

---------------------------------

The live band playing covers of songs amongst the busy shopping district was always something you enjoyed. It was one of the things you had missed when you were away at college. Walking your old stomping grounds had been a pleasant afternoon.

You had stopped near the back of the crowd, dancing in your short flowy sundress. The skirt twirled and twisted along with you. Your small backpack shifted, as you danced in your well worn Chuck Taylor's. 

That's when he saw you, enjoying the music just like you used to. He stopped in his tracks, doing a double take. He had almost convinced himself it wasn't you, until you laughed and cheered as the song ended. He started towards you as another song started, he watched as you jumped with excitement. You hadn't changed much since he last saw you.

You spun around with a giggle as the chorus to Jesse's Girl started. That's when you saw Kevin off to the side watching. A smirk came across your lips as you pulled him in to dance with you. His hands in yours as you bounced to the music.

"I wasn't sure if it was really you-" he started, you shushed him.

"Not now, Just shut up and dance" you said as you started to spin the both of you. He smiled, shaking his head as he started enjoying the music with you. You both got lost in the others company, until the song ended. You separated and started to cheer, pumping your fist in the air. "Wooo"

The next song started, This time the slow tune made you sway. Kevin pulled you back in, placing his hands on your waist. You followed his lead placing your hands on his shoulders.

"When did you come back?" He asked, his eyes soft as they stared into yours.

"Only yesterday." You half smiled glancing down, then back up into his eyes.

"Are you staying?" His head tilted to the side.

"I'm not sure yet. Now that I've finished with school I'm waiting for the jobs I've applied for to respond. I guess that's when we will see where I go." You shrugged.

"I've missed you." He looked out at the crowd, most who had taken the cue to dance themselves. "I'm sorry I wasn't the person you needed before you left."

You shook your head, "You did exactly what you needed to. You weren't at fault"

"But I didn't help you. I was too much of a coward to fight for you." You could see the anger behind his eyes, for no one but himself. 

"Kevin, it wasn't your fight." You sighed. "I had to learn how to take care of myself. What happened wasn't right, but now I know how to protect me."

"But he abused you!" Kevin broke away. "I should've seen it. I should've done something."

You took in a deep breath, as you followed Kevin, grabbing his hand once again. He just held on, pulling you towards an empty bench, away from everything, and everyone else.

"You are the one who saved me. I know you're the one who called, and turned him in." 

"But why didn't I see it sooner" He turned towards you.

"Because I wanted to hide it. I didn't know how to handle it, the things he did-" a lump in your throat caught your words. The memories from that time frame came rushing back, the heartache, the pain. You sat on the bench, and tried to calm your breathing.

"You always had my back, you stood up for me in highschool. Then when you needed me I couldn't protect you." He plopped down on the bench beside you.

"Kevin, don't beat yourself up over the past. It was years ago, and you are the reason I'm still around." You took a deep breath. "That night I called you, and told you." You paused putting a hand on his knee, causing him to make eye contact with you. "Kevin you came, you got me. The reason I got away from him that night was because I couldn't take it anymore, and I remembered that move you showed me to get away from an attacker. I did it and ran. You saved me, you've done so much for me." You gave his knee a squeeze.

"You remember that? I taught you that before prom because I didn't trust your date."

"It's what saved me from His drunk ass that night." You closed your eyes as the scene played in your mind.

"I just still don't understand why I didn't see it." His eyes made contact with yours. You could see the hurt now "Why didn't you tell me?"

"The first time I was sure it was an accident, that I had done something. After that I became ashamed, he convinced me I deserved it, and that if I said anything no one would believe me." Hot tears ran down your cheeks, as you looked at your hands, that now rested in your lap.

"I would've." His voice soft as he placed a hand atop of yours.

" I know that now." You shook your head, "but when it happened it was overwhelming. When he came in that night, drunk and shoved me into the wall, it was like something snapped, and I knew if I didn't do something I wasn't going to make it. That's when I did that defence move, it brought him down to the ground and I ran."

You both sat in silence, his hand gradually moved yours, his fingers intertwining with yours.

"How have you handled it. All of it." His words barely audible above the sounds around you.

"Moving away, getting a fresh start, but mostly therapy. Therapy helped me a lot. I found a group of others who had been through. I went to that group every week until I graduated. The individual sessions helped to. I'm better now. I also took some real self defense classes." You gave a weak smile. "Kevin, I'm ok now. I'm sorry you've felt like you've let me down all this time."

He nodded, "I missed you. Your mom updated me on your well-being when I saw her around." He said off handedly.

You hung your head. When you left for college you deleted every social media, and got a new number. You needed to leave your old life behind, because it all hurt so much. You never realized how much that also hurt Kevin until now.

"I missed you too." Your voice quiet, as you glanced towards him. Your heart felt heavy. You had healed from most of your trauma, yet Kevin who had been one of your closest friends hadn't been able to have closure. "I'm so sorry. When I left I was only thinking of myself."

"You needed to take care of you." he gave your hand a squeeze.

"That's not a good enough excuse, how could I do that to you. Over two years and all you get is updates when you see my mom around town. We used to spend hours at each other's places in high-school. Then when Jin came into the picture I practically ditched everyone. I left you not only once, but twice. What the hell is wrong with me?" You yelled at yourself, dropping his hand and bringing your hands to your face.

"Nothing is wrong with you. You're human, we make mistakes." Kevin put an arm around you, in an effort to console you.

"But I left you without saying anything." You muttered into your hands.

"You needed a fresh start, it's okay." His hand rubbing small circles on your back. 

"It's not okay. It will never be okay. I left you. I left you and you thought you could've done something better. I left you, and you beat yourself up for over two years because of my ignorance." You lost your words in self anger. He searched for words he couldn't find. He had been hurt, but so had you. The actions you both had failed to do haunted the two of you. Silence fell between the two of you, it wasn't comfortable, nor was it awkward, it was just silence.

The sounds of shoppers and the soft canned music of the shops seemed to fill the silence. After a few minutes you leaned against Kevin slightly, just as you used to in high-school. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and he gave a squeeze. Neither of you spoke for over a half hour, as you both took in the words that had been spoken, as well as the unspoken ones that seemed to float in the air. The sun started to go down, the sky darkening slightly, as you rested your head against his shoulder. His cheek on your hair.

His stomach growled making you both laugh.

"When did you last eat?" You giggled, as you sat up.

"I was actually going to go get dinner when I saw you." He smiled.

"Do you still like that old burger joint we used to go to?" You raised a brow, and he nodded.

"That's actually where I was headed." He smirked, and stood up, offering his hand to you.

[knockknockchicagopd]

A serie with Antonio Dawson. Chapter I.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1.3k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to the author.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @anotherfan07 @ocetevasgirl @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13 @mcgreads. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

Neither of you complained when Voight asked you to be undercover as a couple, for a simple mission. Someone gave the tip-off of dirty cops dressed like plainclothes who used to deal drugs in clubs. Antonio and you should have to fake to be a drunk couple making out in the bathroom, where the deals used to be closed. He knows you work to perfection together and, out of the District, you're close friends, so it wasn't a problem for you.

Once Kevin and Ruzek have checked the camera installed in one of Antonio's buttons and you two have the earpieces, ready for the action, your partner offers you a fist to crash it with yours.

“Ready to be my girlfriend for a night?”

Raising both eyebrows, you look at him from top to bottom containing a laugh.

“What? Any girl would like it. I'ma good guy”. Pretending to sound offended, he squints at you.

“Do you really want me to break your heart?” You ask then, making reference that every woman he has been with, has left him.

“Low blow”.

“Still being the only one who stays”.

“That's why you're my best pal, and not my girlfriend”.

“Aw, you're afraid of losing me?” Making fun of him, you pull his cheeks shaking his head.

“Don't do that”. He chuckles pushing you away, before offering you his hand. “Ready, princesa?”

“Let's go”.

Stepping out from the VIP zone and going downstairs, you mingle with the people on the dance floor. The music is too loud for you, feeling a little annoyed, while letting Antonio bring you to the bar so you can have a look at your surroundings. You have seen the pictures of the cops, but it's too dark to focus on the faces around you. Although, this is why the Unit is outside checking the club through the cameras, isn't it? Technically, you only have to wait for Voight's alert to go to the bathroom.

Almost bending over the bar with both arms rested on, you wait for the bartender to be attended, feeling Antonio placing himself behind you and landing his hands on your hips. Kissing your bare shoulder, he puts his chin over it watching the people behind your positions through the mirror in front of you.

“Anything?” You whisper loud enough to be heard only by him.

“Not yet”.

“What can I serve you?” The bartender pushes you out of your thoughts about Antonio's fingers caressing your waist, showing him a soft smile.

“Two beers, please”. You reply leaning on your tiptoes for a second.

While your partner pays the drinks, you grab them turning around to continue watching the assistants, without looking too suspicious. With an arm on your shoulders and a beer less in your hands, Antonio guides you to a corner of the club from where you can have a better look of it. Being undercover is one of the things that you like the most about your job, but you're not going to lie; starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the situation of exceeding the limit between him and you. At first, you didn't care. Antonio and you are very cuddly with each other, but knowing that your Unit is monitoring every second makes it somewhat awkward.

Having a sip from your beer, you turn at him placing your hands on his shoulders, feigning that you're just having a good time dancing on a given night. It isn't the first time you hang out alone, but not in this manner, and you sure he can feel it.

“Relax”. Antonio murmurs into your ear, pushing you close to move his body in sync with yours.

“I'm relaxed”. You lie chuckling and licking your bottom lip, tossing your head back looking for his incredulous eyes. “I am!”

“Sure”. He teases you by pinching your nose and making you laugh louder.

“After the mission, we're gonna book you a hotel room, no worries”. Jay's voice makes your cheek burn in shame, as your partner chokes on his beer.

“Intelligence pays”. Now, it's your boss who is speaking almost causing you a heart attack.

Antonio puckers his lips as if he's agreeing, drawing a funny gesture on his face.

“Breakfast in bed?”

“You can't eat breakfast, if you don't have tee—”.

“Cops at your six. Black jeans, brown jackets. Military boots”. Adam informs, knowing it's time to go to the bathroom.

Leaving the beers away on a coffee table, Antonio tangles his hands with yours to guide you through the crowd, straight to the place you've installed another camera to record the mission. As you come closer, the pressure in your chest becomes heavier, and you can feel him nervous by the way his fingers move around yours. Taking a last look of the plainclothes officers, you walk into the bathroom.

At your right there are four cubicles, in front of the sinks and the mirrors. All emptied. Antonio makes you a sign with his chin before continuing to the marble counter, between the second and the third sink. Sitting on and placing your purse by a side, your partner settles himself between your legs and puts his hand on your lower back.

“I'm too sober for this shit”.

“Stop complaining, you're enjoying it”. He scoffs clicking his tongue.

“Yeah… sure I'm the only one…”

“Alert. They're coming in three… two… one…” Before Jay can say zero, the door gets opened.

You don't see them, rushing to crash your mouth on Antonio's. From the very first moment, your lips move in total sync as if they were dancing passionately, when you feel the click in your guts. His arms pushes you somewhat closer, shortening the distance between your bodies with the same necessity it's running under your skin. There's no way back, and you two know it.

“Get outta here. Now”. You hear, breaking the kiss breathlessly to turn at your partners from another district, accompanied by two unknown guys.

“Man, I've paid for her five drinks. I ain't going anywhere till this bitch sucks my dick”.

You can't believe his words, nor the tone of voice he's using, letting go a nervous laugh palming his chest and pushing him away softly to put down on your heels.

“No worries, boys. Do your thing, and we'll do ours”.

Grabbing Antonio's shirt in a fist, you take him to the cubicle in front of you trying to feign to be drunk enough, closing the door behind your backs. You can't help but cross your arms over your chest, tilting your head with both eyebrows frowned.

“It was part of the plan”. Antonio tries to excuse himself, just moving his lips without uttering any noise to not arouse suspicion. “Sorry”.

“You called me bitch”.

The man waves his hands desperately to make you understand, earning a snort from you before starting to hear the deal happening some feet away from you. A simple one. Heroin and money. You can't even believe they can be this stupid, making you roll your eyes under Antonio's attentive and funny look.

“Shouldn't you be on your knees?”

Squinting as you lick your lips, with that kind of gesture that warns him that maybe he's going to be punched on the face, your partner lifts up both hands to defend his innocence again containing a laugh.

“Oh, fuck… You're so good”. You fake a loud moan, having so much fun when you see Antonio taking a step back, starting to blush.

It has been so real he's scared. Raising both eyebrows, you can't help but draw a petty smile on your mouth. The reddening of his cheeks enraptured you for a second, till you hear how the deal is closed, being the go-ahead to complete your mission. Grabbing the gun inside your purse and throwing it to the floor, you suddenly open the door in position and pointing at them.

“Chicago P.D.! Don't move! Hands on the head! Put your hands on the head!” You shout stepping out from the cubicle, followed by Antonio ready to help you containing them till the squad arrives.

[anobscurename]

ocean eyes – chris evans

previous part: PART VIII — masterlist

concept: for your birthday, chris takes you to a burlesque club, where you reunite with anthony and sebastian. the first kiss. the slowest of slow burns. part nine of many.

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 5.2k

warnings: strip tease, kissing, aNgSt

author's note: nothing i can say will prepare you for the rollercoaster you are about to endure. i hate myself for doing this to you. ya girl really popped tf off on this one.

Looking at Christopher Robert Evans, you wouldn't expect him to be someone who happened to frequent burlesque clubs.

You also wouldn't expect him to have so many tattoos, but that's what a good long sleeve jacket was for.

It would be dangerous for anyone to assume anything about Christopher Robert Evans. And yet, assumptions were made... Just like how you had assumed he would forget your birthday.

It wasn't an unfair assumption, by any means. You had only been living together for about six months, of which he was only there for a few days at a time, before jetting back out to whatever location his film shoot was at.

You were close, but at the same time, not close at all.

It was hard to think of where you stood – neither one of you could really answer that question, and should anyone corner you both separately, you'd both resignedly sigh and claim "just friends."

That was why his gift surprised you on two different levels:

One, he had remembered your birthday. Perfectly friendly enough.

Two, he had gifted you something not quite friendly in the slightest... And that was where waters got murky. But you'd be fucked if you didn't admit just how willing you were to wade into those waters – murky or not.

The box had been delivered to the house late in the morning. Chris had been gone for just over a month this time – 46 days, you were unashamedly keeping count – and his absence didn't go by unnoticed.

Everything reminded you of him, even if he didn't spend a lot of time there.

The box had been from La Perla, and just the name – gold embossed on cream – elicited a visceral reaction of excitement.

You signed for it – a little too eagerly, given the delivery boy's eyebrow raise – before dashing inside to open it.

And now, there it sat, on your bed, silk ribbon still intact.

You weren't unfamiliar with the forever coveted – and forever out of your price range – Italian lingerie brand. But knowing it was from Chris... Your fingers inched towards the ribbon.

Your phone rang, rescuing you from letting your imagination run too wild. Checking the caller I.D., you faltered. It was him.

"Hello?"

"{Your name}! Hey." If you shut your eyes, you could see his smile. "Did you get the gift?"

"Yeah," you responded, a bit more breathless than you would've liked. "Looking at it right now, actually."

"And? What do you think?"

You hadn't the heart to tell him you hadn't opened it yet. "It's..."

You heard a familiar voice in the background. Two of them, actually. "Who's that?" "Is that {your name}? Hey, yo, {your name}! Happy birthday!"

"Guys, cut it out!" Chris laughed, the reciever crackling a little. You could only imagine what was transpiring on the other end: Chris trying to wrangle himself free from his friends all clamouring to get a word in over the phone he was holding just out of reach.

You giggled. "Is that Mackie?"

"Yeah, and Seb. I'm on set with them right now. Decided to drop by, say hi to everyone. Try and convince those two delinquents to come out tonight, but after they heard where I was taking you, it wasn't much of a task. Just managed to sweet talk the producers into getting them the night off."

"It better be great tonight, Kevin really wasn't impressed!" You could hear Seb's muffled shouts from across the room, followed by a "quiet on set!" from a voice you didn't recognize.

Silence was instantaneous from the clamour you had almost gotten used to from the other end.

"Hold on," Chris' voice was hushed. "Gonna get out of their hair before they start filming again..."

You found yourself perching restlessly on the edge of your bed as you waited for Chris to return to the call. There was some shuffling on his end, quiet apologies whispered to passing strangers he was trying to skirt past.

When he got back, he was speaking normally again. "About the gift. It's a bit much, I know. Not exactly Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge! but I know how much you love that film, so I thought it'd be fun if tonight... Well, if tonight we visited something close to it."

"You're not taking me to France, are you?" Your heart was in your throat, hoping he'd say no. Not that you wouldn't love to go, it was just that you weren't ready to make a trip that big any time soon. The panic of packing would be all consuming, and that was the last thing you wanted to be doing on your birthday.

His laugh was infectious. "God, no. In this economy?"

"So, where are you taking me, then?" Your eyes had narrowed in suspicion.

"Think Moulin Rouge, but smaller and more local."

"Oh..." There was one name that came to mind – Vulpecula, the Latin word for "little fox". A burlesque club, every bit as elite as the club you used to be a waitress at.

"Oh," he agreed. Even over the phone you could see the smug smile on his face. He had recalled you mentioning how you'd always wanted to go there, but could never get in. The moment he heard that, about four months prior, he had excused himself from the conversation – having given you some perfectly justifiable explanation at the time, reasonable enough for you to not suspect anything different – and promptly booked a front seat table there for your birthday. "So, listen, I'll be home in... Let's see, they have an hour left here before they wrap, from Georgia to L.A., that's four, maybe five hours...? So let's say no more than seven hours? I should be home by dinner, have a quick shower, and be ready to meet Seb and Anthony at Vulpecula around nine for the reservation. Sound good?"

That was in... One glance at the clock on your bedside table confirmed it. Ten hours time by the looks of it.

Ten hours was more than enough time for you to pick something Vulpecula worthy and get ready. You hoped. "Sounds good."

"Alright, see you in a bit."

You said your goodbyes, the thrill of finally going to a burlesque club beginning to rise. Your thumb hovered over the "end call" button, about to press, when Chris interjected one last time.

"Oh, and {your name}? Happy birthday."

———————

True to his word, Chris was home for dinner. "Dinner" being two pizzas balancing precariously in one scopic hand – held aloft, well out of Dodger's eager jumping reach – and roses clutched firmly in the other.

"You're back."

His face lit up at your presence, tired eyes becoming wide awake once more. "Hey there, birthday girl."

You let him put down the pizza and flowers first before you sprinted into his arms. The scent that you could only reconcile with airplanes from his flight clung to him, but if you inhaled deeper, the smell that was so distinctly Chris was there too.

He chuckled, hugging you back every bit as enthusiastically, even going so far as to pick you up and spin you around, Dodger yapping excitedly at the situation.

"I missed you, you asshole."

"I missed you too," he sighed into your hair.

You pulled apart. "You have no idea how quiet it gets here when you're not around. I almost feel bad for the shampoo bottles, they haven't heard you sing in a month now and it's– What? What are you staring at?"

A stillness had overcome Chris as he held you at arm's length, hands resting just above your elbows. He was looking at you.

"Just you," he affirmed softly. There it was again, that smile. "You look gorgeous. Doesn't she look beautiful, bud?"

Dodger, suddenly bored of the interaction, dashed off to go retrieve some chew toy or another.

"Guess he doesn't think so," you shrugged, suddenly shy under that molten ocean gaze.

"Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

———————

Vulpecula didn't disappoint. Your eyes were wide in awe, almost wishing they were wider so as to take in as much as you possibly could. You were right by the stage, all of you seated in plush, velvet chairs. You sat around a gold and black vintage marble-top table cluttered with empty bottles and half full drinks.

Anthony and Seb – after showering you with birthday wishes and small gifts now residing in your discarded coat pockets – were reclined in their seats, drinks in hand, talking low to one another. You had heard a snippet of their conversation in passing. They had been debating how long you and Chris would last in this will they, won't they charade.

The very thought of a will they had your eyes rolling. As if that would ever happen. You didn't need to remind yourself: friends. Just friends, nothing more.

Sultry music, moody lighting, and the hint of wine and expensive perfume mingled with French cigarette smoke all invaded your senses.

"They look amazing up there," you whispered in reverence, eyes never leaving the dancers.

Chris leaned in, shoulder brushing yours. The natural magnetic pull he had on you snapped you out of your wonderstruck state, and you tilted your head to hear him better. His breath was hot against your ear as he struggled to be heard over the music. "Not as amazing as you look right now."

You shrugged the compliment off. It wasn't lost on you, the reason he enjoyed these types of clubs. "Yeah, but I could never do what they're doing right now."

"I don't know," he cajoled. "I've seen you dance before. You've got moves."

He was referring to one particular evening where you had decided to settle your differences over The Impromptu Never Have I Ever Swim™ – namely, who was at fault – with a dance battle. But that was nothing.

You quirked an inquisitive brow. "Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"No suggestions here," he said, hands raised in submission. "I'm just saying you've got moves."

At your scoff, he leaned in again. You weren't entirely oblivious; the implication of his words were crystal clear: "And you could out dance anybody in this room."

"Is that a challenge, Evans?" The smirk came easy to your wine darkened lips as you brought the flute of champagne to them for a sip. You had been rather indulgent in your mixing of alcohols all night, and compliance was becoming incredibly enticing.

"You can't compete where you don't compare, and these girls don't even come close."

The dismissive wave he gave the stage had caught the attention of Anthony and Seb, and they were now listening and watching intensely, both trying to hide their amusement behind their tumblers of whiskey.

"You are challenging me," you gasped in mock disbelief.

"If anything, it's a request," Anthony had attempted to disguise his commentary behind the whiskey glass, but had failed. The whole table had heard, earning him a slap on the arm from Seb and an amused quirk of your lips. "What? I'm just saying what we're all thinking. We're all thinking it."

"I'm not about to be sweet-talked into making a fool of myself by the likes of you, Christopher," you teased, turning your attention back to Chris.

He smirked. "I dare you."

"You really don't think I'll go up there." It was more a statement than anything. He knew the need to prove him wrong would heavily outweigh your dignity, and you hated that he knew that.

He shrugged, noncommittal, but still smirking. "I have no inclination to what you will or won't do."

That was it. The thread he'd been pulling at all night had finally unravelled, and it was probably the alcohol that had dulled your better judgement, but it was your birthday, for fuck sakes, and you felt like doing something memorable and insane.

"Guard my drink."

And then you were up, making your way to the dimly lit steps leading up to the stage.

If you had been there with anyone else, you would've been escorted out immediately. But that was the thing about loyal patronage, fame, and money... You could get away with almost anything. Your status was immediately elevated just by being in their company.

Seb watched you, mouth agape, as you sashayed to the front and centre. "Holy shit, she's doing it."

Uproarious applause met your arrival as your steps pulled the attention of the audience, but you could hear and see Anthony whoop in support above them all.

"How the hell did you pull this one off, Evans?" Anthony asked as he sat back down to enjoy the show, face laminated in a permanent smile.

"What can I say? I know my girl," Chris winked.

Seb sighed, digging some cash from his pocket. "You win, I guess," he grumbled as he handed over the money to Chris.

"That's mine, thank you." Anthony plucked it from Seb's fingertips. "You too, blue eyes. Hand it over."

"But I won," Chris all but pouted, confusion creasing his brow.

"You said you could get her up there with them in ten," Anthony corrected. "I said you could do it in five if she had the right amount of Moët in her. And would you look at that..." – he plucked the near empty bottle in question from the table to display to his friends – "the perfect amount of Moët."

Chris yielded. He fished some stray bills from his pocket and paid his fee.

The entire exchange was lost on you, however, as the song changed. There was a hush over the club as the music faded, and suddenly, there was a spotlight on you. The other dancers stood back, watching you in delight.

And then the music began to play.

And you began to move.

You were mesmerizing, incredible in your command of the stage. The sway of your rolling hips, the placement of your hands, roving over your body suggestively, but not overtly sexual. That was the beauty of burlesque – it was to sell sex without outright giving it, and it was as if you'd danced there your whole life, the way it flowed so naturally through you.

"Would you look at her up there?" Anthony breathed, something akin to pride in his eyes. Your relationship with the Falcon actor was strange – something close to siblings. Although, if you were to think about it, no big brother would ever be as proud as he was to be watching his little sister dancing at a burlesque club. It had been less about the dance, though – and all about the joy he could see emanating from you.

You liked being the centre of attention for one night. And you very much were.

The interaction at the table was practically forgotten as your friends stared up at you in admiration.

And when your hands traced your curves, moving languidly to the zipper at the side of your dress, Chris' breath visibly stuttered. And when the dress was slipping off of you – straps slinking off the delicate slope of your shoulders to allow the pooling of the fabric at your feet – Chris leaned forward in his seat, entirely bewitched.

You were wearing it – the lingerie he had bought for you.

It was a pretty little number – light champagne coloured silk, trimmed in black lace. It fit you like a glove, hanging off your frame in a way that revealed enough to stir a desire to see more, but not enough to have you shying away in discomfort in front of all the onlookers. The neckline was low, and the skirt fell just above mid thigh.

And still you danced, motions slow to the music, toying with the skirt, the straps, your hair. For that single moment, you were seduction incarnate.

He couldn't look away. You were everything in his world, the only thing in it. You were his world.

When you made eye contact with him, out in the darkness at the edge of the stage, he could've sworn he'd forgotten how to breathe.

You sank to your knees, sensual, undulating, gathering your now discarded dress. The smirk you had – so often teasing – was beckoning, mirroring the intent in your eyes.

You slowly dragged your eyes over Chris, taking in the state of him. What you had rendered him. The hold you had over him was tangible – the awed set of his agape jaw, the way his eyes were glazed with such intensity and want. It stirred something in you, something in the pit of your belly.

You cast him a coy wink before you lazily tossed the dress to him as if you hadn't a care in the world.

Sebastian sucked a whistling breath through his teeth when the song ended. "Who was that girl?"

Chris shifted in his seat, trousers having grown immeasurably uncomfortable. He found himself dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea."

———————

The excitement of the stage was still coursing through you when you returned to the table.

Anthony, who had rightfully given you a well-deserved standing ovation, gave you a massive bear hug that lifted you off the ground and had you giggling. "Wow," was all he said. And then, louder: "Wow!"

Nearby patrons cheered in agreement, and you felt your cheeks flush. "Stop it," you rolled your eyes.

"No, he's right," Seb smirked. "Isn't that right, Chris?"

Seb had tilted his head to peer at Chris past you and Mackie, cocky at having caught Chris out.

Chris – having crossed his legs to conceal the effect you had on him – could barely even look at you. "Yeah," he cleared his throat; it didn't help chase the rasp from his voice. "It was quite something."

You exchanged a slightly annoyed look with Anthony. "I don't see what your problem is, I was only doing what you wanted."

You plopped down in your seat, immediately taking a sip from your champagne. Chris' eyes followed your action, attentative – even more so when you caught a drop at the corner of your lips with your deft tongue.

As if he wasn't already hard enough.

And then his undoing – you spotted your dress. It was still exactly where it had landed when you'd tossed it, splayed across his lap. Unthinkingly, you reached for it, your fingers grazing his crotch and–

His hand shot forward, intercepting you, seizing your wrist in an iron grip. He looked to almost be in pain. "Don't."

What happened next, you didn't blame the alcohol this time, or the thrill the stage had left you with, or anything else. This was all you.

The air had been thick with desire – that all consuming want – and there was a glassiness in his blown out pupils – a need – that had spurred you on.

You grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him to you. Tilting forward, you captured his lips in a hungry starving kiss. He stiffened, before melting, becoming putty in your hands, kissing you back with a passion that set your entire soul and body ablaze. It was sloppy, liquor heavy on both your lips. He moaned into you, hot tongue swiping against the seam of your lips, begging for entrance. Entrance which you granted, whimpering as he deepened the kiss.

You had clambered onto his lap in the frenzied urgency. The hiss of pleasure he gave at the slow grind of your hips against him was almost enough to make you come undone then and there.

Searing hands travelled your body, fingertips digging into soft flesh every time you rubbed against him just so. He traced your curves, encompassing all his hands could reach without ever crossing the line you so desperately wanted him to. He was a gentleman, first and foremost – although he kissed like he hoped to devour you.

Your own hands carded through his hair, tugging at the strands, eliciting throaty groans you never dreamed of hearing from him. His lips muffled every mewl of pleasure you emitted, and for that you were thankful, because once his hand came to rest around your throat, you knew you were done for.

"Fuck," he growled out against your lips.

You finally pulled apart, head swimming and breathless. "Let's get out of here."

He stared at you for the longest time. You, who looked so beautiful with your kiss swollen lips. You, who was sat in his lap, looking down at him, eyes telling innocence, but lips suggesting sin. You, who was finally his. "You must know what you're doing to me."

You stifled a moan as Chris tilted your head back, gently leaving a trail of featherlight kisses from your jaw to your collarbone. Your toes curled, and you knew that if someone were to ask you your name in that moment, you wouldn't be able to tell them. "And what's that?"

"Driving me fucking crazy."

———————

You were still in absolute disbelief, convinced you'd wake up and this would all be a dream.

But it wasn't a dream, and you were there, with him, and your lips still throbbed in the remembrance of that kiss...

"Hold on," you said. Chris reluctantly halted his steps, turning to look at you. "Just wait here, I need to go get my coat."

"Don't be long," he said, voice low and soft.

You gave him a goofy half smile, still kiss drunk. "No promises."

You dashed off to the coat check station, leaving Chris in the foyer.

Ten minutes, that was how long it took. That was the number you would put to the time it took for absolute devastation to occur.

It wasn't your fault there was a line at coat check. Just like it wasn't his fault he happened to run into a particularly gorgeous woman from his past in just those ten minutes.

"Chris Evans?"

He spun at the sound of his name ringing out in the empty foyer. The music of Vulpecula was still faintly going in the background, muffled by the gilded gold doors that granted entry.

"Hey! Long time no see," he grinned. "I haven't seen you since...? Wow, it must've been ages."

"Since we broke up, yeah," she nodded in slow agreement.

"How's," he snapped his fingers, hoping to jog his memory. "Don?"

"We broke up, actually. About a month ago."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." He made his consolation known through a friendly pat on the shoulder, thumb rubbing circles on the skin revealed by her sleeveless dress.

And it was at that moment you returned, seeing him and the woman, too close to be entirely platonic. He wasn't guilty of anything, you knew that. But the hand on the shoulder...

He hadn't noticed you yet, so you were given ample time to dissect the unfolding situation.

It dawned on you exactly why it bothered you so much. The way he was touching her, it was how he had touched you. Not in Vulpecula, no, but every day leading up to it. And it could've meant one of two things:

The first was that it was friendly. Suggesting that he had seen you as nothing more than a friend before... Before you'd fucked it up.

Or the second... That he had seen you as something more all along, and that was what he perceived her as right after that kiss you had both shared.

And honestly, you didn't know which was worse.

"I'm going to be in town for the next few days if you wanted to grab a drink and catch up..." You had stalked past them in that moment, coat draped over your arm, catching her words in passing.

Chris' eyes followed you as he spoke, distracted by your shift in mood. "I'm actually here with someone..."

He trailed off, watching as you didn't even look at him as you brushed past. "Um, hold that thought," he said, already starting to follow you out. Her entire existence was dismissed by his need to get to you and discover why you were suddenly giving him the cold shoulder. "It was great seeing you again, tell Don I say hi – wait, no, scratch that–!"

He was practically yelling over his shoulder as he chased you down. "{Your name!} Wait up!"

You didn't stop, but you were at a disadvantage – your heels, his long legs – and he caught up to you easily. His hand on your shoulder was enough to make you flinch. Who knew you could read so much into the touch of a shoulder? "Hey, what's wrong?"

Your heart could've broken at the gentleness of his voice. Could've. You'd steeled yourself already, and it was glaringly noticeable. "Nothing is wrong, Chris, forget it."

"Just wait–"

You shrugged his hand off your shoulder. "I said forget it."

"I won't," he stepped closer. "Not when I can see something is bothering you."

"Well, I will," you stated, voice flat. You turned away from him to continue your retreat. "Can we just go home?"

When he refused to budge – instead looking at you with those mournful blue eyes of his, you sighed, exasperation and a touch of anger laced through. Why were you so upset, anyways?

"Chris, I just want to go home. I'm tired and I want to get out of this ridiculous fucking outfit so please. Please can we go home?"

He watched as you backed away from him, already pushing open the foyer door to step out onto the curb. His voice was so soft when he next spoke, you hadn't even heard him over the sudden symphony of noises from outside.

"Okay. Okay we'll go."

———————

"Hey, Evans!"

Chris peeled his eyes away from your silhouette to find new purchase on the person who'd called him. He'd been watching you try – and fail – to get a cab for a little over five minutes now. He was still trying to puzzle through your sudden tonal shift, and had ended up simply staring at you from afar for what felt like ages. His eyes burned. Had he blinked? He couldn't recall.

"What are you still doing here?" Anthony hollered from the other side of the foyer. As he drew closer, his voice lowered. "I thought you guys left a while ago."

"Is {your name} around?" Sebastian asked, still in the midst of shrugging on his coat that he'd just retrieved from coat check. "We wanted to say goodbye before we headed back to the hotel. Early flight and all that."

Chris struggled to find his voice, and when he did, it didn't sound much like himself. "She's outside, getting a cab."

"Oh, you guys are gonna go home and—" Anthony wiggled his brows suggestively.

Seb was quick to land a gentle slap on Anthony's shoulder, a silent hint to shut the fuck up. "I know that face. And that voice." Sebastian drew closer – approaching Chris almost like one does a wounded animal – and placed a consoling hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I... I don't know," Chris sighed. His voice sounded strangled, even to him. "She won't talk to me. Wants nothing to do with me by the looks of it."

Anthony pursed his lips. "Well, what did you do?"

"Why?" Sebastian sighed in exasperation. The question was addressed to no one in particular – except maybe God.

Anthony ignored him. "Man, do I have to spell it out for you? She's crazy about you, giving you those big doe eyes everytime you come within a five mile radius. That is some love shit if I've ever seen it," he chortled to himself. Snapping out of it, he leaned in menacingly – big brother mode activated. "So what did you do?"

"Oh, man..." Chris groaned, trying to remember the events that had led to this point. "Well, she was getting her coat."

Anthony nodded slowly, showing he was following. "Right."

"And this girl I used to date, she came over and we started talking."

"You've lost me," Mackie said, still nodding.

"What do you mean?"

Lightning quick, Anthony smacked Chris upside the head. It wasn't hard, a love tap at most, but it still made Chris grimace. "What do you mean, what do I mean? Honestly, both of you are so clueless. Man, she's perfect for you. Literally, perfect. So what are you talking to your ex for?"

"It wasn't like that, Ant," Chris groaned, rubbing the back of his head. "Wait, do you think she thinks...?"

"I don't know what she thinks. What I think, is that you should fix it. As soon as possible."

"Guess I'm in the lead again, huh?" Sebastian slid his hands coolly into his pockets, rocking on his heels.

Chris frowned. "You guys bet on us?"

"Not with money. With something much more meaningful," Seb smiled.

Anthony nodded sagely. "The settlement on who the Black Widow belongs with."

Chris winced. "That's a lot."

"Well, I had faith."

"He's Team Chris-and-{Your Name}-Should-Get-Married," Seb nodded toward Mackie. "I'm Team Let-Them-Live-Their-Lives."

"Yeah, the names are still a work in progress," Anthony admitted.

Chris sucked in a deep breath, fatigue suddenly hitting him like a freight train. "Well, it's late. You guys should probably get going. I'll text you with an update tomorrow."

Anthony had already started heading out, Sebastian at his side. He swiveled to face Chris. "If I'm not scandalized by what's about to go down tonight, don't even bother."

Sebastian took Mackie by the shoulder, guiding him away. "I'm going to take him back to the hotel before he has an aneurysm," he smiled apologetically. "He hasn't planned yours and {your name}'s wedding in a little over four hours now."

As they departed the building, Chris could still hear Anthony calling out to him.

"I want to be scandalized, Evans! Scandalized!"

———————

"What part of forget it is not getting to you, Christopher?"

He leaned against the doorframe of your room, arms folded and legs crossed at the ankles.

"I just want to know what I can do to make it better. Tell me what I can do to make it better."

You gently removed your earrings, tossing them on your desk, before removing your coat. When you'd gotten home, you'd gone straight to your room, and, in a great imitation of Dodger, Chris had followed you there. "It's nothing."

"Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it."

"That's exactly it, Chris. It's nothing. We were both drunk, and it will never happen again. It was nothing. So forget it."

You couldn't even look at him, instead choosing to speak over your shoulder. Because if you had seen him, been looking at him, you would've seen the hurt in his eyes, the pain in the set of his jaw. Your next words were a dismissal: "Thank you for the gift. Good night."

But it wouldn't be a good night, not for either of you.

You were too tired to cry, too tired to sleep, too tired to dream. You were just so... tired.

And Chris... He spent the night sleepless. Entirely unable to do what you asked, and forget. You had seared yourself into his mind, and he was entirely incapable of forgetting.

[babybatscreationsv2]

A King on a Leash ch8

Marvel | Starker

Tony Stark is a powerful man with a beautiful husband and a loyal crime family, but it looks like he didn’t keep his husband on a short enough leash. After turning Peter lose on a Cuban gang leader, Peter’s life is  in danger. The real trouble is that Tony now realizes that Peter is the  only thing in this world that he cares about and he never meant for that  to happen.

Sequel to A Doll on a String

Rating: Explicit

Full Fic

A Doll on a String

Warnings under the cut*

Warnings: torture, murder, mafia au, graphic description of a panic attack, orgasm denial, possessive behavior, jealousy

Fists, a knife, a flambe torch, and two hours later and Tony had everything he needed. He sent Natasha off to find Bucky. Together they would gather up their teams and corner this cousin of Suarez's. Ricardo, but everyone calls him 'Chili'. How intimidating. They dumped the body off a pier, then Tony noticed the time. Shit. He was going to be late to pick up Peter.

"Hap," he said through the phone. "You available to pick Peter up today?"

"Sorry, Boss, I'm across town. You can't make it?"

"Fuck. I'll have his guards drive him home."

"Sorry, Tony. Wish I could make it. Want me to call and make some threats before they pick him up?"

"No," he sighed. "I'm sure I can manage. Thanks anyway, Hap."

"No problem, Boss."

Tony ended the call and dialed Kevin, the head of Peter's guards when Happy wasn’t around. He would already be parked in front of the building to make sure it was safe.

"You're bringing Peter home, today. Make sure he comes straight home and don't you-"

"Boss?"

Tony clenched his jaw at being interrupted. Better be fucking important. "What is it?"

"You telling me this ain't your car the other Mr. Stark just got into?" the fear in his voice was icy.

His own heart was shot through with the same icy fear. "Tail them. Wherever they go. Call me when they stop."

He hung up and called Peter, hands clammy. Could Ricardo have gotten to him this fast? His man said he was in Jersey today, but he could have made the drive in the time it took to get it out of him. It could have been a distraction. Could have been a trap. Peter could be dead already.

"Tony?" Peter answered. Tony sighed, instantly soothed. He didn't sound scared or stressed or otherwise in trouble. He was okay.

"Baby where are you?"

"You didn't get my texts?"

Tony checked his phone. As he looked, four messages arrived in series. He sighed. Stupid warehouse reception. Sometimes it knocked out his signal.

"Sorry, baby. Tell me where you are."

"I'm just going to dinner with some friends. Sorry if I scared you."

Tony relaxed into his seat. He's okay. He's alive. His own heart still raced. "It's okay, sweetheart, I'm not mad."

"That's an awful lot of pet names for not being mad."

Tony took a deep breath. "Next time, make sure I got your message before you leave. Please?"

"Of course. I love you, Tony. Go enjoy an evening to yourself, okay? I'll be home late."

"Sure, angel. Have fun. Tell your friends I said 'hi'."

"Will do." Peter kissed him through the phone. "See you at home."

"Love you, Peter."

"Love you, Tony."

The call ended. Tony sighed and stared out the window. He didn't like the cold, anxious, feeling of being without Peter. 'Enjoy an evening to yourself', yeah right. He sat and fiddled with the ring on his finger. Then ice shot through his heart.

Friends?

Friends. Plural. Peter has two best friends: Gwen and MJ. They hate each other. Sure, he goes out with the girls he dances with every now and then, but he doesn't call them friends. He calls them 'the girls'. MJ has a girlfriend. He could be going out with them together, but MJ wouldn't have met him at the performance hall because she hates Gwen. Even if she had she couldn't afford a car that would be confused with one of Tony's. What friends?

His first instinct was to call him back and ask, but no. He didn't want Peter to think he was being overbearing. He deserves his own space. Fuck, it was killing him, though. Like a blessing from God, Kevin called.

"Boss?"

"Where is he, Kev?"

Poor Kevin sounded like he might throw up. "He's at that Italian place you guys like and he's with friends."

"Which friends?"

"Uh," he paused. "The blonde girl and a guy. I've never seen him before."

There was a guy that he danced with, but he and Peter never got along so they don't hang out. He would have remembered if Peter had made amends with him. "Describe him."

"Expensive looking suit, short brown hair, maybe an inch or two taller than Mr. Stark. Looked around the same age. Couldn't see much of his face from here, but he was clean-shaven."

Harry Osborn.

"Call in the second car. I want men inside. I'll call Leonardo and let him know you're with me."

"Yes, sir."

It hurt. It genuinely fucking hurt. And it was stupid. Why did he feel like Peter was cheating on him? Of course he would want to see an old friend. Harry had been gone for years, they would want to catch up. At least Gwen was with them. She was very straight laced, she wouldn't let Peter run off with him- What the fuck was he even thinking? Of course Peter wouldn't. He took a deep breath but it didn't stop the panic. He couldn't breathe. The car was suffocating him. He climbed out and nearly fell onto the sidewalk.

His driver got out and came around the side.

"You alright, Boss?"

"Fine-" he choked. "Just need a minute. Wait in the car."

He looked unsure, but he did what he was told.

Tony's mind spun with thoughts that didn't quite connect and weren't entirely coherent.

Should start going to his practices with him... Should tell him he's not allowed to dance anymore. What if he leaves? What if he doesn't come home? I should kill Harry Osborn. What if I caught them together? What if Peter wants him? What if he's better than me? What if he's better for Peter than me? I should go to the restaurant. I should call Peter. I should go home. Why can't I breathe?

Tony sat down on the curb and put his head between his knees. He didn't want to imagine what he looked like, a Mafia Boss, a capital 'B' Boss, sitting on the ground like a kid at a Macy's parade. Cue the fucking confetti and tootsie rolls.

His phone rang. It was Peter. He answered without thinking, then realized his throat was thick and he probably sounded like he was crying. Was he crying?

"What the fuck, Tony? I can't go to dinner without a babysitter?"

Tony gulped down air. The sound of his voice, even venomous and angry, helped to soothe him. "No, baby, you can't." His voice came out thick and gravelly and probably sounded more angry than upset.

"And why not?" He could just see him, hiding in the bathroom so no one would here them argue. A hand on his hip and the other clutched around his phone. Teeth clenched and hair disheveled where he ran a frustrated hand through it.

"Because you're mine," Tony said, a little smile on his lips.

He heard Peter sigh. "I know I'm in trouble and all, but can't your men wait outside?"

"You need all the protection you can get, angel. I won't let anything happen to you." Or anyone, he thought.

A pause, then another sigh. "Fine. You're right. Sorry, I overreacted."

"It's okay. I'm glad you called."

"Are you okay?"

Tony stood up and brushed himself off. He looked at the people passing him by as if they were the ones who were strange. "I will be when this is over."

There was a pause. "Should I cancel dinner?" He sounded so upset. Tony couldn't take something from him if it really meant that much. Though, he couldn't say that it didn't feel good to be reminded that he could. If he walked into that restaurant and dragged Peter out no one would stop him. Hell, Peter would blush and make excuses but he wouldn't argue. Not in public. Not when it could tarnish Tony's image.

"No, angel. Enjoy your dinner." And think of me, he thought. Remember the guards I sent to protect you. Remember that I'm always just a call away.

"You sure?"

"Of course. Be safe. Don't go anywhere alone." Just come home. Just ditch him and come home.

"I'll be careful. You be careful, too."

"I love you, Peter." More than anything. Anything at all.

"Love you, Tony." Why? What's worth loving when I'm weak like this?

On shaking legs, Tony got back in the car. Cold and pale, he cleared his throat. Then he barked at the driver to take him home.

Peter wasn’t late, but it felt like it. Especially since Tony had spent a good while on the bathroom floor throwing up into the toilet. He had showered and brushed his teeth and he prayed Peter didn't smell the vomit on him. He was relaxing by an artificial fire, forcing himself to read a book, when Peter came in. He was all smiles, walking on air. He floated across the room to give Tony a kiss.

"Whatcha reading?"

"Nothing." He let Peter take the book from his hands and set it aside. Then he sat straddling his lap. "There's my angel." He brushed Peter's hair from his forehead. He had to get himself under control. He'd been completely sick until Peter got home. He felt like he'd been holding his breath up until the moment Peter's weight settled in his lap. He closed his eyes and breathed him.

"Did you miss me?" Peter cooed, angel sweet. He smelled like fresh Italian herbs and restaurant hand soap.

Tony shrugged. "Should I?"

Peter gave him a coy smile. "I know what missed me." He slipped down to the floor and pushed apart Tony's legs. His skinny fingers trailed over his crotch. A slave to his husband, the man that was supposed to be his plaything and not the other way around, Tony's cock started to thicken at the touch. He let his legs spread wider, let his head fall back as Peter's hot little mouth made a wet spot on the front of his pants. He could feel the heat, the tease of suction through too many layers. After suffering so many bad feelings throughout the day, the promise of pleasure made him hungry.

"Don't tease, sweetheart."

Peter looked up at him with a mischievous smile on his face. He continued to suck on the fabric, moaning like it was his cock, like he could taste it through the material. Tony stared, his expression dark. He reached slowly down to unbuckle his belt and pulled it off. Peter sat still and waited watching as he took out his cock.

Tony admired the way he licked his bottom lip as be eyed the belt in his hands before he eyed Tony's cock. He looked up, asking for permission.

"Get your mouth on it. No hands."

Without a question, Peter bent and took his cock into his mouth. Tony finally felt some of the days tension leave him. He let Peter get him hard and wet, then he used the belt to pulled Peter in, letting it curve against the back of his head, and pulled him down until his tongue reached his balls. He pulled down with the belt and thrust his hips forward, burying as deeply as he could in his throat. His head fell back against the chair. Peter wretched, body trembling between his legs. Tony let him up before he could puke up his dinner. He looked down at Peter to see his eyes glassy and his mouth open and dripping with spit.

"What a good little toy you are. Gonna be my fleshlight, baby?"

Peter moaned. "Yes, daddy." Fuck, that look on his face, cock stupid and perfect. Ready to do anything he asked.

"That's a good boy."

He got his mouth back on Tony's cock and Tony used the belt to guide him. He kept his mouth open wide and let Tony have what he wanted, appearing more fuck hole than man.

"You're daddy's perfect little slut aren't you?"

Peter gurgled on his cock, unable to answer.

"Should keep you tied to the bed. Use you whenever I want." Never let you leave. He liked the sound of that.

Peter was so good, so patient, and obedient. Tony's treatment of his throat was brutal, tortuous, yet he sat with his hands in lap. Tears ran down his cheeks and spit down his chin. Daddy's good obedient pet. Perfect and beautiful and all his. All his.

He let Peter go and sat stroking himself, watching him gasp. Once he recovered enough, he sat up, mouth open waiting for his cum. Tony painted him with it, coating his face in sticky white, hardly any ended up in his waiting mouth. And Peter sat, still and patient until Tony wiped the cum from his eyes. Then he blinked up at him, licking his lips.

"Can I cum, daddy?"

Tony thought a moment. "No," he decided. He could spend tomorrow hard and thinking about Tony and not thinking about Osborn and Tony would feel a little better about his dinner outing.

"Clean your face and strip for me."

"Yes, sir." Peter wiped cum from his cheeks and licked his fingers clean. Tony scooped some off his forehead when he missed it. Peter happily suckled his fingers, humming and closing his eyes. Like having any part of Tony inside him was bliss. Then he stood and stripped out of his clothes. Tony looked at his cock, fully hard and needy.

"Come sit with me, angel."

Peter sat down on his lap, happy when Tony gave him a deep kiss. Then slowly started to kiss down his neck. His fingers teased his bare thigh. He brushed them over his hard cock, adoring the way his cock jumped under his touch. "Tell me about your dinner. Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah," he began, notably breathless. "Harry was back in town so- so Gwen and I took him out." He stuttered as Tony sucked on his neck. He grinned against the fresh bruises he made.

"That sounds nice," he said.

He wrapped a hand around his cock and slowly stroked him. Peter licked his swollen lips.

"It was fun. I missed Harry. I missed you, too, of course. I'm not used to having dinner without you."

Tony sucked another mark into his skin, increasing the pressure until Peter whined and his hands touched his chest. Then he thought, just one more, and sucked another mark just above his Adam's apple.

"What's gotten into you?" Peter asked, breathless and clinging to his chest.

"Nothing." Tony threaded his fingers through his hair and kissed him again. He licked away the taste of cum from his mouth until he could taste Peter underneath. His Peter.

[ororowrites]

Stripped -  (Yahya x Black OC)

Sweet Thang Series - Chapter 2

Warnings: Language

Word count: 2,735

One-Shot: By the Open Fire

Chapters: 1

By the end of the first song, Candace was in her comfort zone. Yahya never let his eyes leave her and she no longer felt shy. The club had rules about no touching but Candace suddenly wanted this man’s hands all over her. Those long fingers and smooth brown skin were doing things to her. Maybe it was the liquor making her horny over a man she didn’t even know. 

Little did Candace know, Yahya had thoughts racing in his mind too. He couldn’t stop thinking about her petite body under his or how her lips would feel on him. Candace was a beautiful woman and something about her intrigued Yahya. When she straddled his legs and began to grind on his lap, the urge to touch her grew. The scent of her perfume was as intoxicating as her hips, almost putting a spell on him. 

It must have been the alcohol that gave Candace the courage to make her next move. She could feel his breath on her lips before they were interrupted by the dance timer. The euphoria they had experienced quickly disappeared as they fell back to Earth. 

“Shit, sorry,” Candace apologized, swinging her legs to the floor. Yahya became any other customer and she held her hand out to collect her payment. “Thank you. You enjoy the rest of your night.” 

Yahya opened his mouth but Candace was already heading out the door, stuffing the bills in her bra. 

-------

Well into the next morning, Yahya was still thinking about the mystery girl from the club. He’d been to many strip clubs and never felt a connection with any of the ladies he encountered. Something about her grabbed him and sucked him in and had her on his mind hours later. 

“You still stuck on that hoe from the club.” Damon lit his blunt and relaxed his head against the back of the sofa. “Nigga, we ain’t taking you to the club again.”

“Word on the street is that the shawties at Dynasty have golden pussy or some shit,” his brother added with a drug induced chuckle. 

“Respect the ladies, man. Being a stripper doesn’t make them hoes. And Kevin that’s enough kush for you. Golden pussy? Really,” Yahya snatched the blunt from his friend and put it back in the ashtray. 

“Aight, let me respect the skrippas. But still, you don’t know her. What if she’s crazy? You will be going back home tomorrow night and no tellin’ when you’re coming back to LA, so why does it matter,” Damon explained. 

“Both of ya’ll are some fucking haters. Trash asses.” Yahya grabbed his phone and took his troubles to the balcony. Kevin and Damon were great friends but their childish, misogynistic antics got on his nerves when he was around them. At times, he felt like he was outgrowing them, even though he still considered them brothers he never had. While he was looking to settle down sooner rather than later, they were stuck in the same phase they were in throughout high school and college and it appeared to be a never ending cycle. 

Was it ridiculous to think that the stripper he met at the club was the one? Yep. But, that didn’t keep Yahya from wishing he could see her again before he was back to the reality of being jobless. 

-------

“Are you sure you saw him with her?” The very question had Candace’s heart pounding against her chest. Natalie, Maxwell’s ex-girlfriend, had entered the picture again after Candace thought her dropping out of school was the blessing they needed. Now with her back in California via North Carolina, she had access to Maxwell as did he to her. 

“Sis, would I lie to you? I saw that bastard with her in the Commons. Took everything out of me not to run up on them and start whooping ass,” Trinity said, fuming on her sister’s behalf. Truth be told, she never liked Maxwell and knew the type of guy he was from the beginning. Maxwell was charming and had the ability to make any girl weak in the knees. Especially a woman like her sister that was in love with being in love. 

Anger built from the pits of her stomach. Feelings of betrayal had never quite faded since they had made up and she ignored it in the name of love. “Did he see you?” 

“Nope. But I’ll make myself seen when it comes to my sister. Candy, why are you still trying to make things work with this immature, cheating ass, motherfucker? I try to hold my tongue like you ask but I refuse to hold it again. You’re too good for him.” When it came to family. Trinity was the sister that would physically fight for her siblings. At times, Candace admired her sister’s tenacity and wished she wasn’t as timid when it came to relationships with people. That was one negative trait that kept Candace anchored to people that did not deserve her time. 

“I honestly don’t know.” Tears began to form in Candace’s eyes as the shame set in for her. She knew Maxwell was no good for her but he always found a way back into her heart. “I’m...um...I’m going to talk to him.”

“Candace,” Trinity called out, noticing her sister’s emotions getting the best of her. “Please don’t cry over that man. Please.” 

If only Candace knew her worth. 

-------

Candace took the scenic route to Maxwell’s apartment, playing different scenarios in her head on the way. If she murdered him, where would she hide the body? Did she just hit him with questions or soften him up first? 

None of those scenarios played out once Candace reached her destination and was met by Natalie in the hall outside Maxwell’s apartment. The three of them froze, each of them searching for words to break up the awkward moment. 

“I should get going. I’ll call you when I get home,” Natalie mumbled, lowering her eyes and pushing past Candace. 

“I knew that apology was a lie and you were full of shit,” Candace spoke through clenched teeth. She was taught to never put her hands on anyone and it took a strong prayer to keep her fists at her sides. “What the hell is Natalie doing here and don’t even think about lying.” 

Maxwell didn’t even put up a fight. Besides, after the news he had learned, he didn’t have the energy to lie or smooth talk his way out of this one. 

“What was she doing here, Maxwell?”

“Natalie’s pregnant,” he replied, leaning against the wall across from Candace. He watched as his girlfriend’s face fell blank. “I fucked up and I’m sorry for that. You don’t deserve the shit I put you through.” 

Still lost for words, Candace slid down the wall until her rear hit the concrete floor. Pregnant. That had to be the final straw, right? The game they had been playing for the past three years had come to a tragic end that Candace feared. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry. I know I stay apologizing but I mean it. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“Yeah, you did.” 

Maxwell kept his distance. “Did what?” 

“If you didn’t mean to hurt me, this would have stopped after the first incident. But I gave you chance after chance and you still didn’t fucking stop. I’m done, Max. I can’t put myself through this shit because it’s obvious you won’t stop. I’m foolish to even think you would,” Candace spoke in a hushed tone, never raising her voice or releasing the tears that threatened to fall. 

“I’m-”

“I don’t wanna hear another one of your tired excuses. I sure the hell hope your dick is clean. I’ll come back for my shit another day.” 

“Candy, come on-” 

“Move! Don’t fucking touch me.” Blood rushed to Candace’s face as the embarrassment set in and she could no longer look Maxwell in the eye. This relationship had become a part of her identity and she allowed it to consume her so much that she forgot to love herself. “We’re done, Maxwell.” 

Candace ignored the apologies and groveling. A weight lifted off her shoulders and she didn’t intend to put it back ever again. 

------

Yahya had one more day to enjoy Los Angeles before he had to return to San Francisco to figure out his next move. He was desperate to burn off steam and decided to hit the park for a workout. The skies were clear, granting Yahya  a good dose of vitamin D while he ran the steps. He pushed himself to do one more set before taking a lap around the trail for a cool down. Yahya was so focused, he didn’t notice Candace approaching him from the opposite sidewalk. 

“Hey...wassup,” he said, removing his headphones when he finally saw the brown beauty in his path. 

“Hey. Didn’t think I’d run into one of my customers...ever,” Candace chuckled nervously. The breakup had her emotions all over the place and gave her the bravado to approach a man from the club. Keeping those two lives separate  was important to her except in that moment. 

“Oh, yeah? Well, I don’t want to think of myself as your customer. That’s a little weird,” Yahya admitted, earning a nod from Candace in agreement. “But since we’re outside of your job, can I get your real name?” 

“Candace.”

“Nice to meet you Miss Candace. I’m Yahya.”

A short, awkward moment of silence gave Candace time to get a better look at the man she had danced on in a dark strip club. Beautiful dark brown skin covered a body that looked like it was sculpted with the utmost care. If you looked up tall, dark and handsome in the dictionary, Yahya’s picture would be used as the definition. Once her eyes traveled back up to his face, his bright, white smile captured her and held on for dear life. The man was fine and seeing him in the light had Candace acting like a shy, school girl. 

“You live around here,” Candace asked, breaking the silence. 

“No, I’m visiting my boys from back home. I’m living in San Francisco right now. I go back tomorrow evening,” he explained, looking Candace over. She was petite compared to his 6′3 frame. “You?” 

“I’m from Chicago but moved here to go to school. Trying to live the dream, ya know?” 

“I hear that,” Yahya nodded. “Well Candace, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we ran into each other. Would you like to get a recovery smoothie with me? My treat. Unless you’re still in the middle of your workout.” 

“I can cut out early. I know a good smoothie spot not too far from here if you don’t mind walking.” 

Yahya’s smile grew, “Sounds like a plan, let me put on a shirt.” 

Or not, Candace thought to herself. 

--------

After the ice was broken, Candace and Yahya began to enjoy each other’s company. The break-up earlier that day was still on Candace’s mind, but she felt at ease being around Yahya. Sure, they didn’t know one another on a deep level, yet she could sense Yahya’s compassion. When she spoke, his eyes stayed on her and he truly listened. One thing that irked her about Maxwell was his inability to listen below the surface level. 

“That’s too bad. Many of these fellas out here don’t appreciate their lady until she’s gone.” Maxwell sounded like many men Yahya knew and the type of man his parents raised him not to be. He could see the hurt in Candace’s face when she described what had led up to the end of their relationship. 

“Yeah, it’s just a shame I wasted my time and my heart on a guy that didn’t want to protect it.”

“His loss, your win.” 

Dumping personal information on a stranger was not how Candace usually moved, nonetheless it felt good. “I’m sorry for treating you like a therapist.”

“Nah, you’re good. You had a rough day. I don’t mind listening.” 

“Thanks, but I wanna hear more about you. What do you do in expensive ass San Francisco,” Candace quizzed, sipping her raspberry/banana smoothie. 

Yahya hoped telling Candace about his unemployment wouldn’t ruin his chances. He still hadn’t shared the news with anyone else. “I was a City Planner for the Mayor’s office but I was laid off on Friday. I honestly don’t even know what the hell I’m going to do when I go back home.” 

One of Candace’s strongest traits was her empathy. She had no issue stepping into a person’s shoes and feeling what they felt. Those that were worthy enough to spend time with her felt Candace’s warmth right away. Yahya could feel it, which is why he felt comfortable sharing the news with her.

“I’m sorry, Yahya. Shit sucks when you get well into your career and your job is in another person’s hands,” Candace sucked her teeth and shook her head. “Are you thinking about staying there and getting another job?”

“To be honest, I need a change of scenery. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise because I think I got comfortable in my lifestyle. I loved my job but things were stagnant,” he explained, tracing the lettering on his smoothie cup. “Right now, I’m thinking about taking a break and figuring out what I want to do from there. I’ll get unemployment, so I’ll manage until I find another career that makes me happy.” 

“That’s brave of you. I’m too damn scary and would need to have a plan right away. Good luck with that. You seem to be a determined man so you’ll find your way. I’m hoping I can graduate and get into Yale then we will see if I make a career out of this acting thing. If not, I’ll go back to school for education and teach theatre.” 

“Wow, Yale? I did some acting classes back in the day and they seemed pretty cool. I don’t know if I have the talent to get into a school like Yale though. I need to work on my Denzel cry first.” The two shared a laugh and finished up their smoothies. 

Time passed as their conversation ranged from discussing their childhoods to recent life events. They were so deep into discussion, they didn’t notice that two hours had gone by since they first arrived at the smoothie shop. Candace was more easy going than Yahya thought. That shy exterior had fallen down, exposing the sweet and funny side of her. Like many women in the stripping industry, her persona in the club was a lot different from her true self. He wished he could get to know more of that side.

They walked back towards the park, where their cars were parked on a side street. Yahya walked Candace to her Jeep and waited for her to load the backseat with her duffle bag. 

“Thanks for the smoothie and talk. I needed that more than I thought,” Candace closed the back door and stood in front of the driver’s side door. “Dr. Yahya is a great listener, even though we’re complete strangers.” 

“It doesn’t have to be that way. I wasn’t kidding about taking some acting classes with you when I’m in town,” he replied, flashing his wide grin. 

“I’ll hold you to that Mr. Abdul-Mateen. Like I said, acting is like recess so it’ll be fun. Who knows, maybe you’re a natural at the shit.” 

“We’ll see, we’ll see. I won’t hold you up, you should probably get home before it gets too dark. Text me when you make it.” 

“Alright. Thanks again, Yahya. For real,” Candace’s soft curls blew over her face as the wind picked up. 

“You’re welcome. Thank you for listening to me ramble. Get home safely and don’t forget to let me know.” Yahya leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Candace’s cheek. The simple act almost made her melt into a puddle in the LA street. Opening her car door, Yahya waved her inside. “Bye, Candace.” 

“See you later.” 

Candace drove away feeling like a new chapter of her life was on the horizon and she was ready to face whatever it had in store. 

Taglist: @blackburnbook​ @just-peachee​ @emjayewrites​

Want a tag? Let me know. 

[vxlkyrie]

bittersweet - ii

pairing: spencer reid x reader, jay halstead x reader, sonny carisi x reader

genre: angst, fluff

warning: cursing, violence, graphic crime details, mentions of rape, mentions of death, mentions of sex, fighting, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of abuse, mentions of alcohol

word count: 6.1k

summary: a huge case calls for the bau, intelligence, and special victims, causing you to cross paths with your ex – that no one in your team knew about

other parts: one, three

a/n: i want to thank everyone for giving me a lot of love and support for the first part of bittersweet! i hope you guys will continue to enjoy the series with this next part! (this one’s a bit longer)

the sounds of chatter and loud music fill your ears as you entered the bar. jay held your hand as he led you to a big group of people.

“hey guys!” jay said, causing several heads to turn your direction. he greeted a few of the guys with a hug as you awkwardly stood with a smile on your face. you recalled some of the people standing in front of you.

adam ruzek. kim burgess. kevin atwater. vanessa rojas. hank voight.

“detective l/n, nice of you to join us today.” hank said, giving you a handshake.

special victims and intelligence had worked on a few cases together. it’s how you and jay had met.

“there’s no need for formalities. please, call me y/n.” you smiled at the older man.

“so what brings you to molly’s tonight?” kim asked, taking a sip of her beer.

“we all know why she’s here.” adam smirked, giving you a side hug.

“she came in with jay. why don’t you just tell us you guys are dating already?” kevin laughed, others following.

“okay, you caught us,” jay said, raising his hands in surrender as you chuckled. “yes, we’re dating. we have been for a few months already.”

“that’s what i’m talking about!” adam yelled, bringing jay in for a hug.

“come on y/n, let’s get you a drink. it’s on us.” kim said as she and vanessa led you towards the bar.

later, you found yourself in deep conversation with the girls as you sat on a stool.

“so, when did all of this start?” vanessa teased.

“remember the last case we worked together and you guys were in new york?” you asked, earning a nod from kim. “well, we met up after we closed the case. i’m surprised none of you noticed that jay stayed in new york for one more night.” you raised a suggestive eyebrow.

“no way!” vanessa fake gagged, making you laugh.

“well i’m happy that you two are together. you guys have been dancing around each for the longest time.” kim laughed.

“you guys finally broke that sexual tension.” vanessa smirked.

“shut up!” you hollered.

you turned to see jay looking in your direction as the guys were having their own conversation.

you couldn’t help but smile at him.

and he smiled back.

“hey babe, you coming?” a voice interrupted your thoughts. you turned your head towards the owner to see spencer looking back at you.

“yeah.” you nodded frantically, walking towards the door.

you walked into the squad room to see a big group of people. you watched special victims and intelligence reacquaint themselves before hotch introduced the bau. they all shook hands, along with derek mentioning how he’s also from chicago.

“they definitely are quite the lookers.” penelope mumbled to emily as she examined the intelligence unit.

“damn right they are.” she chuckled.

you quietly walked up to the group.

“are my eyes deceiving me? is that y/n l/n standing in front of me?” hank joked as he walked towards you.

“hi hank, how have you been?” you said, giving the guy a hug.

“i’ve been great!” he pulled away. “i heard you’re now a hotshot profiler for the fbi.” he smiled.

the bau looked at you two with expressions that ranged from confusion to shock. you turned around to see them looking at you.

“you know them?” jj asked.

“yeah, we worked a few cases together.” you half-lied through your teeth.

you went around, saying your hello’s to the rest of intelligence. kevin even lifted you up into the air as he gave you a bear hug, earning laughs from the whole squad room.

“didn’t think they were that close.” derek whispered to spencer.

“what do you mean?” the younger man asked. “she said they’ve worked together before.”

“yeah, but it seems like they’re more comfortable with her than with the other detectives.”

you decided to go with jay to a big family dinner with his squad.

“jay’s chasing this guy who starts running into the residential areas,” adam recalled while you and the rest of intelligence were listening in. “next thing i know, jay’s toe hits the fence as he tried to jump it, so i just see him faced down onto the grass groaning in pain.” he laughed.

“he ate shit!” kevin shouted.

“you just had to bring it up.” jay rolled his eyes as he watched the table laugh their heads off, especially you. you looked at him to see him glaring at you.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t think i’d be here listening to my badass boyfriend trip over a white picket fence.” you pressed a hand over your mouth as you tried to suppress your giggles. even though jay looked annoyed, you could tell he was just joking by the way he pulled you closer to his side.

“not only is he clumsy, apparently he’s a big softie too.” vanessa raised an eyebrow at you two. now you were blushing as well as jay.

the night continued as everyone continued sharing stories. you talked about what it’s like in new york and how special victims is going. you even had your share of embarrassing stories about your boyfriend.

at times like this, you felt like you had a home away from home, especially with jay by your side.

you were ecstatic to see all of your friends in one big room together as they got to know each other.

this is better than any family reunion i’ve ever been to.

until you were face to face with jay.

“hey y/n.” he said quietly. you gave him a small smile.

“hey jay.” you hesitantly went in for a hug, ignoring the faint ‘awkward’ coming from adam. you hear him groan in pain shortly after, assuming that kim slapped his arm.

knowing who you currently work with, this definitely didn’t go unnoticed by any of them.

“how’s quantico?” he asked as you both pulled away.

“it’s been good.” you simply said, the air suddenly becoming thicker with tension. you ran your left hand through you hair, earning a glance from jay.

“y-you’re engaged?” he furrowed his eyebrows. your eyes widened, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“yeah.” you answered, feeling guilt rush through you as you saw a pained expression paint your ex’s face.

someone come please save me right now.

“hey.” a voice said from your right side. you look up to see spencer with a faint smile on his face.

this is not what i meant.

“i’m doctor spencer reid.” he said, offering his hand to jay. you gave him a surprised look, seeing that he never shakes anyone’s hand.

“jay halstead.” jay responded, taking the taller man’s hand and shaking it firmly.

spencer lightly put his hand on your lower back. once you relaxed under his touch, something in jay’s head clicked.

you’re engaged to him?

“y/n, can you help us organize some stuff before we deliver the profile to everyone?” spencer said as he looked at you. you nodded, excusing you and spencer from jay as you both walked back into the conference room.

the door closed as you saw the bau looking at you.

what the fuck is happening right now?

“you wanna tell us what that was about?” jj broke the silence.

“what was what about?”

“intelligence.” emily answered.

“oh, i told you guys we’ve worked together before. we became friends over the years.” you explained, ignoring your racing heart. even spencer was looking at you suspiciously.

“you work with profilers, y/n. we can tell intelligence is more closer to you than they are with benson and the rest of special victims.” derek pointed out.

“and what’s with the tension between you and halstead?” your fiance added.

“y/n, just tell them already.” hotch said, not looking up from the file in his hands. you gulped.

“jay’s my ex.” you blurted out loud. the team’s eyes widened.

“you dated him?” spencer asked softly. you nodded. you could tell he was hurt.

“interesting.” penelope muttered.

“are you guys ready to deliver the profile?” olivia cleared her throat as she opened the door, breaking the tension that briefly filled up the room.

“yes.” hotch answered, nodding at the rest of the team who started to walk out of the room.

a few moments later, it was just you and spencer in the room.

“why didn’t you tell me?” spencer softly spoke. you bit back tears as guilt ran through your veins.

“i’m sorry,” you sniffed. “it was such a long time ago. you didn’t ask and i didn’t think it’d matter when i was falling for you. i should’ve told you.”

“shhh, it’s okay.” spencer rushed over to you, wiping the tears that you didn’t notice falling from your eyes. he pulled you in for a hug.

“i’m so sorry.” you repeated, wrapping your arms around his middle.

“don’t be sorry,” he whispered, rubbing circles on your back. “that was all in the past. i trust you and i know you love me – that’s all that matters right now.” he kissed your forehead. you two hear the door slowly open.

“are you guys ready?” hotch asked as he peeked through the small opening of the door.

you fixed yourself up as you nodded at your boss. he gave you a small smile as he stepped away from the door. you looked to spencer, who gave you a reassuring smile. you felt your worries wash away as you walked out to the squad room, ignoring that suspicious looks coming from everyone.

-

“the unsub we’re looking for is a female in her mid-to-late 20s.” hotch started.

“she is organized. she could’ve possibly befriended these women and somehow end up poisoning them, later sodomizing them and killing them by slitting their throats.” spencer explained. you bit back a smile as he started wiggling his fingers around as he talked.

“this woman has killed nine women from three sororities, and it is possible she could be targeting more women either from the same sororities or from other chapters.” emily continued.

“she might have been someone who went through recruitment and wanted to be in one of these houses, but was rejected by all of them. she probably sees these murders as acts of revenge.” you added.

nods were seen throughout the room as officers took notes.

olivia’s phone buzzes, causing her to pull the device out and quickly look at the message she received.

“thank you agents,” she said as she approached the front of the room. “but it looks like we’re gonna have to stop right here.”

“why?” hotch asked.

“there’s been another murder.” she announced.

“same victimology?” hank asked.

“yup,” she sighed. “rebecca harris and stacy johnson were found in the middle of central park.”

“a double murder?” kim stated in confusion.

garcia started rapidly typing on her laptop.

“rebecca and stacy, both 22 and in their last year of college. both sigma phi kappa.” she said quickly.

“she went to killing active members.” you added.

“there’s more victims from here than any other states, why new york?” amanda asked.

“either she’s from here or went to college here – or both.” emily chirped.

“then she must’ve went to hudson.” adam uttered.

“if the recent victims were from the same chapter, then our unsub must’ve wanted a bid from sigma phi kappa the most.” you added.

“emily, jj, i want you two to go to the crime scene with tutuola,” hotch ordered. “garcia, dig more into these girls’ lives. morgan and reid, interview the deans.”

“me and hank will stay here. we’ll notify the family and see if we can get them here.” oliva added.

“y/n, since you’re familiar with greek life, what else should we be looking for?” hank asked.

“these chapters are under a council, we should talk to the people who help run recruitment and the girls from different sororities who became recruitment counselors during the fall. at least one of them must’ve talked to our unsub.”

“burgess and rojas, interview the council and get that list of girls who went through recruitment in the past five to seven years. dave and i will stay back and help build the geographical profile,” hotch continued. “the rest of you split up and go to each of the houses and see which girls became counselors and any other information we can get from them.”

everyone scattered around, whether it was heading to the cars or to the white boards.

“is talking to these girls going to be a pain in the ass?” amanda asked you, half joking.

“uh, i don’t think so. they’re nice – for the most part.” you answered honestly.

“i’ll hold you to that.” she chuckled.

“me and adam will take the delta xi house.” kevin said as he walked past you.

“kat and i well go to kappa alpha delta.” amanda said, grabbing her jacket. you stood alone in the middle of the squad room, looking around to see everyone in their own world.

does that mean-

“i guess that leaves us the sigma phi kappa house.” a familiar male voice said from behind you. you turn to see jay nervously standing. you could tell both of you didn’t want to work together, but your feelings didn’t matter when there’s a serial killer on the loose.

“yeah, i guess it does,” you smiled. “come on, hurry up before i take the wheel.” you joked, knowing that jay likes to drive. he sighed out of relief, smiling at you before he walked out of the squad room.

you felt an arm wrap around you. you turned, smiling at spencer.

“hey,” you softly said. “i’m about to head out with jay.”

“oh?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.

“we’re going to one of the houses. everyone paired themselves up and we were the only ones left.” you quickly tried to explain.

“babe, it’s fine.” spencer laughed. “just, stay safe out there.” he pouted.

“it’s just sorority girls.” you laughed.

“yeah, i know, but-”

“but?” you interrupted him. you knew what he meant, you just wanted him to say it.

you’re going to be alone in a car – with your ex.

“you never know,” spencer sighed, steering away from what he was actually trying to say. “just be careful.”

“i will.” you chuckled, letting it go. spencer planted a quick kiss on your lips.

“ready to go?” a third voice said, catching you both off guard. you turned to see jay standing there, holding a set of car keys.

you pulled away from spencer, nodded at jay as you grabbed your jacket and walked towards him.

-

you quietly sat in the car as jay drove towards campus.

“it’s been a while since i’ve flown to new york,” jay said, awkwardly trying to break the silence. “i think it’s been like, what, six years give or take?”  you quickly glance at him.

i wonder why.

“i think the last time i was here, we watched that one musical you really liked.” he calmly said.

“come on jay, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy watching heathers.” you laughed as your arm wrapped around your boyfriend’s.

“i enjoyed watching you sing along,” he chuckled, steam coming out of his mouth due to the cold weather. “and besides, i think i like the original movie more.”

“although the movie was good,” you said as you two walked down broadway. “i love the way they told the story through songs. it was fun catching the references.” you smiled. 

jay looked down at you and felt himself smiling even wider. 

“why are you looking at me like that?” you nervously laughed as you raised an eyebrow at him. you both stopped in your tracks.

“no reason. i just love you.” he blushed.

“i love you too, more than anything.” you smiled back as you both leaned in for a kiss.

you quickly blinked yourself away from your memories.

“that really was a long time ago.” you said, the awkward silence quickly coming back.

“so, doctor spencer reid. he looks really young to be a doctor.” jay mentions.

“he’s only a couple years older than us. and he’s not that kind of doctor. he has several phd’s.” you explained as you fiddled with your fingers.

“several? doesn’t that take years to get?”

“yeah, he’s kind of a genius. graduated high school when he was only twelve. he also earned some while working at the bau.” you smiled to yourself.

“wow y/n,” jay scoffed. “didn’t know you were into that.” he said, quickly glancing at you.

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“whoa, it was just a joke. no need to be so hostile.”

“i can tell that was not a joke. what the fuck did you mean by that?” you aggressively asked.

“chill!” jay exclaimed. “it’s just that, you’re you, and he’s, well, him.” he tried to explain. you raised an eyebrow.

“that is the worst explanation i’ve ever heard in my life.” you scowled.

“why are you getting so defensive about it?”

“first of all, it’s my relationship. so whoever i’m dating is really none of your business. second-” you spewed before stopping yourself.

“okay. you’re right, and i’m sorry,” jay quirked an eyebrow. “you were gonna say something?”

“what?”

“you said ‘first of all,’ and stopped yourself.” he pointed out.

“it’s nothing.” you crossed your arms.

“don’t pull that on me, i know you. what were you gonna say?”

you sighed.

“you’re not the first person to say that.” you practically whispered.

“no way, you’re dating that pipe cleaner with eyes.” a guy laughed at you as he pointed out your boyfriend who was uncomfortably sitting at a booth by himself.

you and reid were undercover at a club, trying to scope out for a guy who was a person of interest in a case of an unsub who went after couples, giving women the more brutal death.

fortunately, when you went up to get a drink from the bar, the guy you were looking for had approached you.

“um, yes way, actually.” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“come on, you can do way better.” he smirked, placing a hand on your arm. 

“don’t think so.” you said as you tried to back away from him.

the moment he tried to yank your body closer to his, the guy was suddenly slammed onto the counter, bending over as his arm was pulled behind his back.

“how’s that for a pipe cleaner?” you smirked as spencer cuffed the guy.

“shit, i’m sorry y/n, i really am.” jay profusely apologized, putting the car in the park as soon as you both arrived at the sorority house.

“it’s whatever. listen, can we just do our jobs? we have 11 women murdered and our relationship is the least of my worries right now.” you frowned.

“you’re right.” he sighed.

-

“i’m sorry for your lost,” jay said as you comforted maria, sigma phi kappa’s president. “what can you tell me about rebecca and stacy?”

“they were great sisters. they were on our executive board too.” she cried.

“is there anyone who would want to hurt them? maybe an ex boyfriend or a jealous friend?” you asked.

“no, not that i can think of.” she replied.

“i heard there’s a group of girls from your chapter who were recruitment counselors.” jay said.

“yes, every fall. what about them?” she asked.

“we need your list of girls who’ve gone rho chi over the past seven years. we believe the person who killed rebecca and stacy might’ve been potential new member, but was dropped from sigma phi and one of the rho chis might’ve interacted with her.” you answered. maria raised her eyebrows at you.

“were you a-”

“a sorority girl? yeah, me and my older sister were.” you said, giving her a small smile. “we were in alpha chi delta. i was president my last year.” you revealed to her. she nodded at you with a smile, feeling like there was an understanding between you two.

“come with me, and i’ll help you guys with that list.”

you and jay followed her into a smaller room.

“just letting you know, there are a lot of girls that go through recruitment and i don’t think any of our recruitment counselors would remember them.” maria stated.

“it’s worth a shot.” jay said.

“that’s fine, we just need you to send them to our tech analyst.” you said as maria nodded at you.

“if you need anything, maria, feel free to contact us.” jay said as you two gave her your cards.

“do you really think a woman would kill because we rejected her?” maria softly asked.

“this woman is sick. she doesn’t handle rejection well and projected her anger onto women associated with what hurt her.” you explained to her, giving her a sad smile.

-

“holy crap, there are so many girls,” penelope shouted as she scrolled through the thousands of names that displayed in front of her. “i’m gonna need more specificities.”

“can you narrow it down to girls who were rejected from those three specific chapters?” emily asked as penelope typed away. the other two teams looked at her in awe.

“we need to get ourselves a garcia.” adam thought out loud.

“you could say that again.” kat agreed.

“sadly, i am a one-of-kind edition.” penelope smirked.

“that’s right baby girl.” derek smiled. several of the detectives looked at you. you shook your head at them, telling them to not even ask.

“there’s still at least 200 girls.” penelope said.

“how about girls that have been called back by those three houses up until the third day, but never received a bid?” you asked, ignoring that confused stares coming from several of the detectives.

“aha! we are now down to 30.” penelope smiled.

“okay, now see which girls ranked sigma phi kappa as their number one all three days.” you said.

“wow, we are down to 10 girls thanks to miss alpha chi delta,” penelope smirked. you gave her a questioning look. “what? i looked you up.” she admitted, earning chuckles from you and the others.

“that’s a start,” hotch said. “is there anyone that lived in richmond, chicago, and new york?”

“negative, sir.” penelope answered as she continued typing.

“she must’ve been vacationing in those two cities at the time of the murder,” hotch stated. “y/n how can we narrow down the list of recruitment counselors?”

“penelope, match up the 10 girls with who their recruitment counselors. if they were all in different groups over the years, they might have at least two rho chis each.” you looked at the tech analyst.

“you did it again pretty girl, we’re down to 23 recruitment counselors.”

“okay, we have a lot of people here. i need everyone to call every recruitment counselor and see if they can recall anyone of these girls.” hotch said.

hours passed by as all three teams made calls that seem to never end.

“thank you, ma’am. have a good night.” you slurred, barely being able to keep your eyes open. you leaned on your fiance who was sitting next to you the whole time.

“we cannot have you falling asleep on us,” spencer laughed as he fixed your disheveled hair. “besides, our food’s almost here.”

“suddenly i’m awake.” you instantly opened your eyes and sat up straight, earning giggles from everyone around you.

“you guys are so cute it’s disgusting.” sonny commented. the intelligence team gave jay a sympathetic look.

“it’s cute until you have to see them sneak kisses in the office for five straight years.” emily gagged. 

it was hard for jay to keep a calm expression when everyone is gushing over his ex and her husband-to-be.

“listen-” you blushed.

“food’s here!” jj and amanda shouted as they walked in with bags that contained boxes of chinese takeout, hotch following behind with even more bags.

“thank god!” fin and rossi cheered as everyone gathered around and grabbed their own food.

“here’s yours.” spencer said, giving you your order as he returned to his seat next to you.

“thanks babe.” you muttered as you didn’t hesitate to dig in.

“what’d you get?” kim asked.

“oh, just some sweet and sour chicken, nothing too fancy.” you softly laughed.

“i thought you hated sweet and sour chicken.” jay chirped in. spencer gave him a look.

“i guess my taste in things have changed.” you responded, not realizing that the passive aggressiveness behind it. kevin spat out his drink, earning a slap on the head from adam.

you all continued eating. you whined as spencer stole a piece of your chicken, quickly stopping when he gave you a piece of his food.

“so, y/n, spencer, tell us,” amanda asked. “since you’re engaged, what kind of wedding do you guys want?”

spencer’s eyes widened as you scratched the back of your neck.

“we’re not sure yet, actually. we don’t know if we want to go all out or have a simple backyard wedding.” you said.

“i think you should go all out! get a huge venue, buy a ballgown as a dress, invite everyone. you must be making more money now that you’re a federal agent.” sonny chimed in, earning nods from the girls.

“maybe i should.” you laughed.

“you could have a small wedding. save up some money for a house.” jay casually said out loud as he chewed on his food. you could feel spencer gripping your thigh out of frustration.

he’s really trying it.

jay, stop talking.

“you could have it at my house.” rossi offered.

“do you know how many times we’ve used your house for events?” spencer chuckled.

“he’s not wrong. we’ve already had jj’s wedding at your place too.” derek said.

“like i’ve said, we’re still working on the details. either way, i just know i want a huge flower wall.” you smiled.

“filled with white roses?” spencer asked.

“of course! they’re my favorite.” you beamed at him.

“weren’t those the flowers spencer brought you on your first date?” emily asked. you nodded as everyone awed.

“and since then, i’ve only bought her white roses.” spencer said, slightly blushing.

jay could feel himself cringing.

“i thought you hated flowers.” jay grimaced.

“do you have a problem?” spencer said loudly, shooting out of his chair.

“spence-” you whispered, trying to calm him down.

“yeah i do,” jay barked as he walked over to spencer. “can you shut up about your stupid relationship and stop rubbing it in our faces for just one fucking minute?!” he pointed at spencer’s face.

“jay!” you yelled, standing up.

“oh i’m sorry that you fucked up your relationship with y/n! i’m sorry that your egotistical, meat-headed, jealous ass can’t handle that she moved on after six fucking years – something apparently you can’t do!” spencer yelled, harshly poking jay’s chest. he wasn’t one to get angry, but you could tell he was pissed off.

jay pushed spencer to the floor, causing you and derek to run in between the two.

“break it up!” derek shouted as he pulled spencer up.

“jay, stop it!” you pushed him away as kevin held him back, pulling him into a room next to olivia’s office.

“we’re going for a walk.” derek told spencer as he walked his best friend out of the squad room with jj following them.

you ran a hand over your face. you felt your phone vibrate.

jj: i’ll talk to spencer. talk to that hotheaded ex of yours.

you sighed, walking into the room kevin was holding jay as he calmed down.

“i got it, thanks kevin.” you told the bigger guy as he left the room and closed the door.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?!” you almost shouted at the jay who was sitting down and holding his head in his hands.

“what’s wrong with me? you two are practically making out in front of everyone in the squad room!” he sat up.

“we were definitely not doing that.” you raised your eyebrows.

“you might as well be.”

“you’re so childish. what the hell was that out there?” you crossed your arms.

“i’m jealous, okay?!” he roared, making you jump back a bit. “i know we broke up six years ago but goddamnit y/n i’m still hurting! during those six years, you never bothered to call back or answer any of my messages. maybe you blocked me – maybe you got a new number. either way, it hurts knowing that you don’t even want me in your life anymore after we broke up. and it hurts even more that now you’re here in front of me after all that time of not seeing you, you’re engaged to someone else.” he cried.

“jay-” you whispered.

“i was going to propose to you, you know?” he said, looking deeply into your eyes.

“w-what?” you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“our last phone call. i asked when you would be visiting again because i was going to propose to you at that one restaurant i was talking about.” jay confessed.

“i guess this is it then, y/n.” jay softly said, fighting back the tears that were starting to form as he leaned on the kitchen counter.

“i’m sorry.”

“yeah, me too. i won’t forget about you, you know that?” he said.

“yeah, i know.” 

he heard you quickly exhale through the speaker.

“if you need anything, and i mean anything, i’m one phone call away.” jay offered.

“thanks jay.” you sniffed.

“have a good night.” jay said, not knowing those will be his last words to you for the next six years.

“you too.” you quietly said.

jay pulled his phone away from his face and pressed the red button on the screen, ending the call. he took several deep breaths before walking into his bedroom. he sat on his bed, opening the drawer of his nightstand. he pulled out a small velvet box, popping it open to gaze at the ring he had worked so hard to get.

is she gonna like it?

is the diamond too small? too big?

will it fit her?

those thoughts filled his head for the past few months, only for you to suddenly break up with him.

in the end, it was all for nothing.

“jay.” you gulped, feeling your heart break.

“why are you with him, y/n? do you even love him?” jay scowled. you took offense to his questions.

“yes, of course! how dare you ask me that question!” you yelled.

“would you die for him?” he quickly asked.

you straightened your back. he raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for your answer.

“i-i almost have, actually.” you croaked.

“fbi! put the gun down!” you shouted as you and spencer aimed your weapons at the unsub who had been holding a man hostage for several days before your team found him.

“make one move and he’s dead!” the unsub threatened as he pushed the gun’s barrel further into the man’s head.

“you don’t want to shoot him, it’s not in your m.o.” spencer said, mentioning the fact that the unsub kills his victims with blunt objects.

“what do you know?” the unsub spat.

“i know that you’re a sick man whose father abused him as a child, and projects it onto other people. you torture and beat people up to reflect the actions your dearest daddy did to you.” spencer said.

you could tell the unsub looked pissed.

he aimed his gun at spencer. and the moment right before the unsub fired, you jumped in front of spencer, hitting the ground hard as soon as the bullet pierced through your vest.

spencer fired at the unsub, shooting him dead and ran to you.

“y/n!” he yelled as he pulled your laying body towards him, taking off your vest and putting pressure on the bleeding wound that colored your chest. “agent down, we need a medic!” he yelled at his radio.

the rest of the team arrived, taking the man taken hostage to safety.

“hey spence.” you weakly smiled at him, slowly blinking as an attempt to try to keep your eyes open. you loudly groaned in pain, closing your eyes as you clenched his hand.

“everything’s gonna be okay honey, just keep your eyes open. medics will be here soon, just stay with me.

“i feel cold.” you whispered.

“shh, be quiet. you’re gonna be fine.” he said as he saw the medics run in. as soon as they got you into the ambulance, spencer hopped in with you, never leaving your side.

after a few hours of waiting for the trauma surgeon, spencer was finally able to breathe again as soon as he heard that you (barely) made it. once you were awake and ready for visitors, spencer practically ran into your room.

“spence.” you looked at him with glossy eyes.

“babe,” he said as he gently grabbed your hand, rubbing circles in the back of it. “you gave us quite a scare back there.” he said, giving you a small smile.

“i’m sorry. i knew he was gonna shoot, and i just couldn’t let you take that bullet.” you explained as a tear rolled down your cheek.

“well, that was very stupid of you,” spencer chuckled. “i’m just glad you’re okay.” he said, pressing a deep kiss on your temple.

“you did?” jay asked, his face painted with more concern than hurt.

“yeah,” you slowly nodded. “he, uh, almost died for me too.” you told him, watching jay’s eyes widened.

your heart rate picked up rapidly as hotch quickly drove to a house just outside the city. spencer, in an attempt to save you, was taken hostage by an obsessive unsub.

you’d never forget the words that displayed on penelope’s screen: give me the doctor or y/n dies.

you thought it was stupid that spencer voluntarily brought himself to the unsub, but no one couldn’t blame him for thinking with his heart and not his head when it came to you.

the team, along with swat, barged into the house. you kicked down the door to see the unsub removing a knife from spencer’s abdomen. you shot the unsub down and immediately ran to your boyfriend who was covered in cuts and stab wounds. medics immediately arrived as you untied him, carefully taking his face in your hands, examining the blood that littered his face.

“y/n.” spencer croaked.

“why would you do something so stupid?” you mumbled, pouting at him.

“i guess we’re even now.”

“i- wow.” jay exhaled, running a hand through his hair.

“yeah.”

“so you really do love him, huh?”

“yes, more than anything in this world.” you confessed.

after a few moments of silence, jay spoke up.

“i understand,” jay nodded. “he looks at you the same way i looked at you. and i can tell he makes you very happy, both emotionally and physically.” he said, chuckling at the end as he recalled your words. you gave him a sympathetic smile. “i guess i’ve been acting kind of like a dick.”

“kind of?” you raised an eyebrow at jay.

“okay. i’ve been acting like a dick,” he admitted. you both shared a soft laugh. “i’m truly sorry for everything.”

“i’m sorry too.” you apologized back.

“come on, bring it in.” jay teased, opening his arms to you. you rolled your eyes and approached him, reciprocating the hug. 

you failed to notice that the blinds in the room were open.

spencer squinted through the small spaces in between the blinds. once he saw you and jay in each other’s arms, he felt his whole world crumbling down.

you two broke apart, opening the door to see spencer quickly walking out of the squad room.

what the hell?

you looked over to see everyone looking at you with worry.

“what happened to spence?” you asked out loud.

“i tried to explain to him that it was probably just a friendly hug between you and jay, but he wouldn’t listen.” olivia said, resting a hand on your shoulder.

oh no.

“i have to go after him.” you exclaimed, trying to follow him.

“as much as that i would love for you to do that,” penelope stopped you. “you have to see this.”

son of a bitch.

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 21

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

21 - No Body, No Crime ...

Jay stirred, waking up to Hailey’s head on his chest. They must have moved in their sleep, because he was now on his back and Hailey was using him as a pillow. He peered over her to see Adam and Kim still on the floor, he was the first one up. Hailey shifted next to him and Jay wrapped his arms a little tighter around her. 

“Good morning.” She groans, hiding her face in his chest. 

Jay chuckled, kissing the top of her head. “Good morning. Did you sleep okay?” He asked. 

“Great.” Hailey said, smiling up at him, but it was only half true. As much as she loved falling asleep in his arms, she couldn’t shake the pit in her stomach. Sleep didn’t come easy with her mind all over the place. 

“So,” Jay said, grabbing her attention again. “There was something I never got to ask you last night.”

Hailey smirked, “Oh?” She asked, sitting up.

Jay pushed himself up and moved to sit across from her on the couch. “Hailey, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked. 

“I don’t know Jay, I’ve got a lot of offers-” He cut her off with a kiss, both of them smiling into it. Hailey pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. “Yeah, yeah I will.” Jay pulled her into him, deciding that he could take this one moment to be happy before he dropped the bomb waiting in his basement.

There was rustling on the floor, and then a groan. A few seconds later Adam popped up off the ground. “Hey.” He said, stretching. 

“Hi,” Hailey said laughing.

Kim stirred awake next and the four gathered in the mini kitchen, trying to make a decision about breakfast. Somewhere in between pop tarts and pancakes, Jay sighed. “So, there is no easy way to say this, actually I don’t know how to say this at all…”

“What?” Kim asked.

Hailey watched her (now) boyfriend carefully, hoping he was going to spill whatever the hell he was doing last night. “Um. Erin’s alive, and she’s at my house.” 

…

Thirty minutes later, Hailey sat in the front seat of Jay’s truck waiting for him. After he dropped the basically nuclear bomb in the kitchen, Adam and Kim bombarded him with questions but Hailey stayed silent. She had been there when he got there last night, he dropped her off and went back to Erin. She knew that jealousy was the last feeling that she should be having right now, but all rationality was gone.

Jay slid into the driver's seat, prepared for the fight he knew he had instigated. He was waiting for tears and yelling, but all he got were Hailey’s sad eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked calmly, her eyes searching his for any explanation. 

“Honestly Hailes,” He said, hitting his head against the headrest, “I thought when I got back she wouldn’t be there.” 

Hailey sighed, it was a terrible excuse, which is why part of her believed him. “You still should have told me…” She said, looking straight forward.

“You’re right.” He rushed, “You are so right, I shouldn’t have lied. It was just such a terrible night and I didn’t want to wake it worse.”

Hailey shook her head, leaning back and running her hands through her tangled hair. “There is always going to be a terrible night Jay.” She said, “When are you ever going to realize that? There is nothing left to protect me from.”

“Hailey-”

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Hailey said quietly.

Jay looked at her, dumbfounded. “What?”

“We don’t work Jay.” She said, shrugging. “Everytime anything good happens between us, something gets in the way. Maybe we are fighting for something that isn’t there?” Hailey had been through more in her sixteen years than most people in their entire lives and as much as she wanted to be with him, she was sick of fighting for things she would never have. She was sick of everything she loved being ripped away from her.

Jay shook his head, “No, don’t do this.” His chest felt tight, like someone was sitting on it.

“I don’t want to…” Hailey said, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Then don’t.” Jay said, grabbing her hands from her lap. “You are right, there will always be a worse night. I have absolutely no idea why Erin is back or even why, I have no idea who is hurting us…” He trailed off. “But, I know that I love you, and I want to be with you.”

“And I want to be with you.” Hailey confessed.

Jay shifted in his seat, hesitantly reaching out to cup her cheek. He felt desperate, he was so desperate to make her understand. “I know you're scared, so am I. This is terrifying, but I know that it is worth it.” 

Hailey nodded, covering Jay’s hand with hers. She looked down, trying to hide her teary eyes. “I do too. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Jay said, nudging her chin up so that he could look at her. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.” He leaned in and kissed her gently, letting his lips linger. “Are you okay to head over?”

“Yeah,” She said confidently. “Let’s go.”

…

“Erin.” Kim sighed out, breaking out into a run as soon as she saw her. The two former best friends met in the middle of the room, embracing each other. “I missed you so much.” 

Erin laughed, holding her tightly. “I missed you too.” Soon they broke apart and Erin made her way to Adam, “Hey.” She said, giving him a short hug. “Hailey.” She said, grinning, before hugging her. 

Hailey was taken aback, she wasn’t sure their reunion was going to be warm and happy. “I’m so glad you’re alive.” She said honestly, hugging her back. It calmed her nerves a bit, she was so worried that Erin was going to hate her even more than before. Apparently presumed death helps with forgiveness. 

The five of them found seats around the room, Hailey tucked in Jay’s side. She wasn’t sure if it was for her comfort or his. They all caught up, well, they caught Erin up. She retold the majority of her story from the night before and the rest of them went into more detail of their own horrors, including the night before. 

Jay watched cautiously, something seemed off and after the last twenty-four hours he wasn’t sure if he even trusted his own gut. It was crazy, just the morning before he was in Hank Voight’s house thinking he was crazy for thinking Erin could be alive. That didn’t age well. “Erin.” He said, speaking out of turn.

“Yeah?” She asked, her head snapping up to look at him.

“Were you at the dance last night?” He asked.

Erin shook her head, looking confused. “No...why?”

Jay shrugged, wanting to palm himself in the forehead. “Uh, nothing.” Obviously she wasn’t, but he felt like he at least had to ask. 

“So, where’s Kevin?” Erin asked, sitting back in her chair.

Kim looked at Adam, looking for help. He was none. “He didn’t go to the dance, family stuff.” She explained vaguely. She figured telling her that they all had a huge fight about her the night before was probably a bad idea. 

“That sucks.” Erin sighed, “Are Vinessa and Jordan okay?”

Adam took that one, “Yeah, they’re fine. His mom just needed help.” 

“Speaking of Kevin.” Jay said, standing up. “ I think I’m gonna go over there and get him. He doesn’t know about Erin.” He grabbed his keys off the coffee table, silently checking with Hailey if it was okay for him to leave, she nodded her head slightly.

“Yeah, okay.” Adam said.

Jay made his way towards the stairs, “I’ll see you guys in a little bit.” He was about to leave when a board he hadn’t looked at in a long time caught his eye. The same strings and print outs still attached, so much had changed since then. 

Hailey shifted in her seat, she felt a little less comfortable with Jay gone. “Jay told me what happened in the garage.” Erin said, grabbing her attention. “I’m so sorry, I’m so glad you guys are okay. That must have been terrifying.”

Kim nodded, “Us too,” She glanced at Hailey. “We got lucky that the boys found us.”

Erin sighed, giving Hailey a sympathetic look. “And Hailey, it must have been so hard to see your parents after so long. Jay told me that your dad showed up at the hospital.”

Hailey froze. “What?”

Adam watched the exchange, he knew that Hailey’s parents showed up, so did Kim. But none of them had told Hailey and he wasn’t sure why Jay would have told Erin. Kim caught his eyes across the room, giving him a look, silently agreeing to admit to knowing nothing.

“You didn’t know?” Erin asked, “I’m so sorry, I assumed you knew…” 

Hailey gave her a small smile, “It’s fine. He didn’t tell me, I guess he thought it was best I didn’t know.” While she appeared fine to everyone else, she could barely breathe. She was somewhere between crying and furious. She was sure Jay had his reasons for keeping it himself, one of them being that even several weeks later the thought of her father seeing her so lifeless and vulnerable still made her stomach churn. But, the fact that he chose not to tell her, but told Erin, that cut deeper than she ever thought it could.

…

When Kevin opened the door, Jay was almost sure he was going to slam it in his face. “What?” He asked.

“I have some news.” He said, “Can I come in?” Kevin took a step back to let him through, eyeing him. “First, I want to apologize for last night. I could have handled things better.”

Kevin sighed, “Me too man. I’m sorry. We cool?” He asked, holding out his hand.

Jay shook it, smiling softly, “Yeah, we’re cool.”

“So, what’s up?” Kevin asked, falling into his couch.

Jay chuckled, “You are never going to believe this.”

Kevin laughed, “Try me.”

“Erin’s alive.” He deadpanned. 

Kevin’s face fell, “What?”

“She’s alive and in my basement. I know it’s crazy-” Kevin jumped up and ran into the other room, “-what’s wrong?” Jay asked as he came rushing back.

Kevin held up a notebook. “I-” He started. “I wrote everything down. Every text, everything. Ever since Vinessa had that doll I’ve been writing down theories and I-”

“Kev, what are you saying?” Jay asked, his heart beating faster.

“Jay.” Kevin sighed, “What if it’s been Erin this whole time?” He asked. 

“What?”

“Just think about it.” He said, flipping through the notebook. “Hailey said the only person that knew about her dad was Erin. Erin knew that Hailey didn’t want us to know. No one else knew. And you, you were the only other person to know about Nadia and Mr. Sampson, Erin knew that. She also knew how good Nadia looked for it all. She set us all up Jay. She gave Vinessa the doll and told her that we would see her soon.”

Jay’s head was spinning, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “No-no, she told me that she was getting threats too. That’s why she ran…”

“Do you have any proof?” Kevin asked.

Jay thought back to not thirty minutes ago when he saw the board, he had combed through every message on Erin’s phone and there were no threats, no blocked numbers. Why would she delete them? “No…”

“She left her phone for you to find! She knew you would come after her, she set us all up! She had to have killed that girl and put her bracelet on her. She wanted us to think she was dead.” Kevin explained. 

Jay collapsed on the couch. “There’s no way…”

“Jay.” Kevin snapped, “It’s Erin.”

“Ohmigod.” He said, running his hands through his hair. “It’s Erin...Shit. Hailey, Adam and Kim are with her right now.”

…

Adam felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pulling it out he checked the caller ID. “It’s Jay.” He said, standing and walking to the other side of the room. “Hey man.” 

“Are you still with Erin?”

“Yeah, why?” Adam asked, lowering his voice. 

“You guys need to leave right now.” There’s a pause. “Adam, it’s Erin.”

“Huh?” He huffed, not really comprehending. 

“Erin is the one behind the texts. Make up an excuse and get the hell out of there as soon as you can.”

Internally, he was freaking out, but Adam played it cool. “Okay. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” Adam hung up the phone, his hands shaking as he fumbled for keys. “Hey guys, we gotta go-”

Pop.

…

A/N: I’M SORRY. I’m so sorry. The next chapter will be up soon, I promise! Thank you so much for reading! <3

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