#like I have a full complete draft of chapter 16 that I'm about to start revising

[mkstrigidae]

Apparently, the solution to my APWH writer's block was just opening up a new word document and rewriting the whole damn next chapter.

[wetcatspellcaster]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

Thanks @redrocketpanda for tagging me ^_^

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

11! 9 completed, 2 WIPs.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

:)))))))) 831,063 :)))))))))) I don't wanna talk about it.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I am a fantasy videogames girlie, with a brief foray into Darklina sickness. I have written for BG3, Dragon Age, and Shadow and Bone.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

Party Favours at 1,804

The Stars Don't Shine They Burn at 1,196

A Bleeding Heart at 1,133

Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth at 1,026

Eye of the Storm at 645

Before this year I had no fics over 1,000 kudos, so that was a cool development in 2023!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to reply to everything, unless I am crippled by depression (or crippled by illness)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That goes to!!! Sunblindness!!! The only time I've foregone 'I can fix him' for 'I can make him worse (and I deserve to, as a treat)'.

I was actually planning to end that fic with a major character death and then a close friend was like "jfc this is what people read for fun Emma, chill the fuck out"

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The happiest ending is probably Party Favours? But I also think Stars Don't Shine They Burn with the 'I can't fix him I can make him fix himself, but at my end, I can also make us immortal soulmates' tied up pretty neatly, and I was very proud of it at the time.

(Also shout out to A Man's Word is His Bond for being the final chapter I'm happiest with.)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope, not yet! I've had some entitled comments and a few mansplainers, and if anyone sends a WRITE MOAR comment when I have 9 completed fics and over 800k for people to read if they want to, I'll likely become pissed. But no hate!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Queen of the Fade to Black, the moment anyone touches anything racier than a waist when I'm the one behind the keyboard I start blushing :')))))))))

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have written one whole crossover, my darklina Shadow and Bone/Stardust AU, and tbh it sent me pretty feral at the time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes :-) twice I think. it's fine.

12. There was no question 12 so I'll make one up myself: What's the longest you've ever spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

Screaming, crying, throwing up. I remember the Emma who used to only post fics once they were fully drafted. I remember writing a Zevran/Warden fic in a week in the height of living alone in lockdown. I also remember writing A Bleeding Heart in a worryingly brief 3-week period.

Then I got hit with the crippling depression. The longest I've spent working on a fic is 19 months for Sunblindness when I got the Big Sads.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Not a group projects girlie. I'm here to cater to me and me alone.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Lol. Of the ones I've written for, it's a tie between Zevran/Surana and Astarion/Tav, as their dynamics were the funnest (seems rogue/mage is my jam). Of all time, it's Spike/Buffy - I have no need to write for them bc I am already well fed.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a Darklina Wintersmith AU that I have 2 out of 3 chapters down for and then BG3 full release happened. But the depressing answer to this question is 'original fiction projects' - I want to try and write something original but my confidence always fails me. I'm trying to transfer the things I enjoy about fic to original stuff to combat it but I'm not there yet!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Idk man, who could say? I think I'm good at dialogue/banter bc that's the compliment I receive most often in comments. I also think that if I've got a plot-twist in mind from the very beginning, I usually land it? The rest of the plot might be squiggly and messy as fuck, but if a scene was there when the fic was dreamt up (the ending of Sunblindness, the stag scene in my Stardust!AU, the agoraphobia reveal in A Bleeding Heart, the study scene in Pieces, etc.) then it usually ends up being received well and being exactly the way I pictured it in my head.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Can't write smut!!! It's the only thing holding me back!!!

(also if I have the choice between describing something in a sentence or in 3 paragraphs, I usually pick 3 paragraphs. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is a fucking travesty. See answer to question 2!)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Amazing and encouraged but not something I can do, as I am bad at languages so it would just end up being a colonial hate crime facilitated by google translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dragon Age: Inquisition!

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Despite the way that Full Access recontextualises it, my favourite fic is absolutely A Bleeding Heart. It was so much fun to write, it was my first time doing unreliable narration, and I was really proud of the plot twist in the final chapter. Also for someone who doesn't write smut, the fact that I got a friend to walk out of their house with the hair-pulling scene made me very smug tbh.

Tagging anyone who wants to do this!! I have made a bunch of new friends and mutuals lately, so if you're a writer and you want to answer these qus please do this so I can see your answers.

[tlgpandoramia]

Chapter One : The Mortifalia

Notes : Hiii, after some inner struggle I decided to share some of my book in Tumblr. I'm just yearning for some feedback XD so I would appreaciate any, but please do be kind, that's my first draft and English is not my native language. Please, don't repost anywhere without my permission. Enjoy!

Word Counting : 4020k

Rate: 16+

`'Read my words well, as I write this under some influence, I feel that my head is about to pop, no idea if all those vaccines shots put a chip, or another virus inside of me, or maybe is just that fucking MORT-09 shit scratching my brain. The doctor said I just got to avoid everything and avoid to drink too much water and take sunbath, easy for that fucker to say, I feel like my body is completely dried, even my lips are all numb and rough for lack of water, the fever is not helping either. Anyway, screw that medical garbage, all the hospitals are full like a Best Buy in a sale day, everyone is coughing blood, and some are even bleeding from the eyes, mouth, nose, ears and pretty much everywhere, is so disgusting to see that, so I prefer to stay at home, at least here I have internet, my computer and nobody looking like a weird horror story. But, the doctors gave me a shot, a vaccine of some sort, saying that it isn't one hundred percent efficient, but it should help the immune system to fight the virus, I say it is bullshit, is not doing anything and my right arm is still sore from that stupid needle.

They said that this new virus came from a plant, or a flower, whatever, is the freaking same thing. But is ugly, last week when I had to go take the shot, I saw a guy bleeding from the head, like someone had cut the top and left it to bleed, the messed up part is that it wasn't normal red blood, but dark like a can of black tint, like a midnight lagoon, the news said that this is the last stage before going into coma, then is over, you fall into a sleep and that's it.

After the shot, I started having nightmares, not the usual scary bloody clown chasing you through an abandoned factory, kind of nightmare, but some real things, like it seems it actually happened, I don't know if it was just a weak moment from my delirious mind, this fucking fever and all the stress, but I heard some feral noises, sounding like shrinks coming straight off a hellish forest. Then I woke up, and saw something through the bedroom window leading to the yard, it was a black shadow of some sort, but it had flesh underneath, it was moving in like a foggy way, giggling around and lifting itself like a cloud of gas. I was up and ready, I know this, I even remember when the trigger was pulled and the bullet hit it. I even buried it, but its always coming back, digging itself off that dirt and the grass, I see it everywhere, in the corner of my eyes, inside the pipes, struggling to get inside, pushing the door and floating around, just like that damn black fog, or spores, that I see when the ignites are on, the vacuum cleaner can't deal with that, I used it, then the next day they reappeared, but that giant human shape black fog is always coming back, doesn't matter how deep I dig it.

Yesterday I spent eight hours watching over the window, aware all the time, feeling my eyes burning and the muscles cramping, but somehow I couldn't stop it, like a sleep paralysis. That's was when I started seeing that white glow fog on every surface, just floating and existing, when I left the house they turned into those huge shining orbs on the dark sky, glowing and singing to me, chanting in a soprano voice, beautiful and peaceful, something that I didn't felt in a long time, it was like angels telling me to law down and accept my death, that they would take me to a better place if I only allow it, that feeling of being rotten from the inside vanished, even the nightmares.

I...We, all thought that this virus was just another excuse for the big pharmaceutical companies to make vaccines and earn billions, but this is different, it doesn't feel like a conspiracy theory or something, it feels real.

My blood turned black, yet sometimes I can catch a glimpse of the red color if I look hard enough.

Today is October six of two thousands and seventeen, three days after the hospital visit, the news aren't positive or hopeful, showing footage of hospital being overrun by sick people, bodies being transported in every available vehicle and being toss inside containers, some are saying that that's it, the end of humankind, between that and global warming is a tough situation to get yourselves out of it.

This Mortifalia, isn't new, I heard about it back in two thousand and six, people from all over the world used it for different purposes, some native used it the flower as a medicine, others eat it like a meal, a few beauty industry people discovered and started using in cosmetics, and not to mention how some would use it as a drug, grab the flower, smash it and mix with hot water, then just smell that thing, it would give anyone a huge high, I did that back in university years ago, maybe that's how I got it, since nobody infected came near me in years and I barely leave my house for three years. When it started becoming an issue back in two thousand and thirteen, the government said that if you took the nitrogen pills and all the vaccines, you would be fine, and so we carry on in this pandemic. In those years almost nobody died, only going into coma, millions of people went to deep sleep, some remained to recent days, I know some people had the virus in the past and nothing happened, but now they are numbers in intensive care units. A little to late, but I throw away all that had the ``dormant Mortifalia``in their formulas, the shampoos, deodorant and that cursed healing water for the skin, they always said that it was impossible for those products to infected someone since the virus within was dead, who knows...Maybe that how I got infected or the flower smelling. Is unusual to say, but I feel at peace, feeling like I could just lay down and sleep forever, the angels don't stop to speak with me, but a part of me feels that this is wrong. There is no peace at slavery, at being a puppet, I'm a salve for a thing that is controlling me, commanding me in everything, even my own thoughts, and words. No! My words are my own, shut up now, and stop whispering in my ears, telling me what to do, or is this just what I'm supposed to believe? It's controlling me, I know, just like a puppet of an insane puppet master. The smell of blood is strong coming from the next house. No, it doesn't! Maybe I should watch those angels in the sky for a little longer.'' Words found in a pre outbreak letter

The story circles to the future, two thousand and twenty seven, disclosing around survivors, one in particular being Miyako Uzume, descendant of an ancient Japanese family with roots of witchcraft and a rumor of ``Chosen by a God``, bound by a promise with a deity until end of times. ``One shall see beyond men logical perspective, blessed to not join the army of pawns that shall walk upon Earth`` An old prophecy that turned the family popular back in Japan, as nobody appreciates they.

Enough of mysticism, those word are only coming out because I fear to speak about the reality that we set upon yourselves.

Beyond the metal and atomic bomb resistant walls, lies something that would make death seems like a frail human, extermination, nothing less. The girl don't remember how the world looked outside the metal box, how most of the days were spend hiding behind the apartment and looking out of the window, never coming in contact with people of the same age or friends in general, weeks would go by and only the sight of the family members could be seen, alongside the smell of recent baked cookies and how loud the progenitor used to listen to the news, yet for her the words never made much of a sense, considering that English proved to be different from asian mother tongue. Although melancholic and boring, the past hits with a home sick feeling, coming in strong and persistent.

Most people misses the old world with all of their hearts, the daily activities, go to work, bar and parties, hear those meaningless celebrities news and the idea of just existing. An emotion not share by the child, as it may be that those were never experienced, if the inner thoughts would ever be spoken out loud, strangers would condemn, after all who could be sympathetic towards someone that believes in the idea of a pandemic world being better that the past one, overall humans grew simplistic, surviving and coping with the past takes all their time, left with no time to judge others or the path someone else wishes to walk upon, worrying about surviving another day.

Dreams of traveling, earning degrees, buying houses and last generations vehicles were crushed years ago, if one were blessed by Lady Luck an approval letter for a shelter program or an invite to live inside a Military Zone arrived in the mailbox a few days before the breaking day, half of the issues could've been dealt with it, however feeling safe also worked as an ultimatum. To be able to live inside a secure place, a citizen should proves useful, assigned to be a working member of the new society, either by attending educational institutions, tasked to a specific job or being less fortunate and work as a manufacturing worker, aiding to keep the places sturdy, maybe joining the militia, options are limited, nevertheless one still has the power of choosing, even though this power lies in two paths, accept it or leave it.

Young kids or infant born within those camps believed that the inanimate concrete and steel is a sentient deity, that shields they for the horror of the outside world, of the lands dominated by the infected, kilometers of the Black Fog covering the capitals, corruption eating away every miserable human settlement out there. Cursing someone to go to hell no longer works, now the most lucky ones wishes for others to go beyond the walls and experience how it feels out there, death penalties also ceased to exist, if one commits a crime that calls for severe punishment, then exile seems logical enough.

Hopes for an ordinary life died six years ago, a major pike of infection overwhelmed hospitals across the world, and it couldn't function anymore with millions of humans going into stasis, the point of no returning, after a few more hours the virus had full control over the host. Despite never witnessing an infected or a victim, children that grew up in shelters learned about it, The Manual describes them as ``Former humans, now in absolute control of the Mortifalia``. Diversified by five stages, all shared an importance, yet the first worries the doctors, taking place between four to six hours after a bite, scratch, breathing the spores or by simple coming in contact with infected blood, airborne took most of the victims, as they never noticed it until the last moment, some areas in cities are so deep within Its territory that the air itself is bio hazard, one dies by suffocation before turning into a Courier.

Shelters were built by the Saga Corporation, half of it were put inside major military camps, however the organization took responsibility to generate their own food, water and electricity supplies. Each party has their own objectives, the military one being to avoid infected near the borders, as a high concentration of the infection can cause a Nucleus to be form, spreading the Black Fog through the wind, even infectiing the rain and the soil itself.

Miyako rest as the youngest daughter of the prestigious virologist, Doctor Reira Uzume, a veteran researcher of the Mortifalia and a key factor for creating a vaccine, the child takes the mother word over anything, admiring her beyond compression, a woman capable of running for president, if the government worked like before, the Uzume matriarch wrote half of The Manual Of The Infection, responsible for gathering information about the virus and how to deal with it in hundred of scenarios.

The others countries remains until this day, yet details of what happened and what became of the provisional laws is a privilege meant for a few high rank officers. The USA fragmented itself in regimes called Provisional Governments, a president figure persisted, however with less power and no longer representing a political wing. With a mandate lasting three years, they need to allied themselves with the Military, Scientific or Industrial party, each with its own beliefs on how to deal with the virus and prevent humans to be extinct, and of course, making sure that the walls remains strong.

A prestige biologist, Katherine Williams sits in the White House, feeding the hope of a vaccine to save the world, whoever the truth doesn't aligned itself with this ideal. The group has the duty of maintaining the hospitals, camps and clinics, while creating ways of improving the new educational system, and worshiping the possibility of a vaccine.

Every night Miyako wonders what happened to the apartment, now laying in a prohibit area of DC, almost all were left behind, even Ren, a teddy bear given by her brother in the girl six year old birthday. On the day the world died, a group of men wearing white tuxedos knocked on the family door, demanding the four to pack it up in essential and leave for the shelter located somewhere in the capital heart, a lot of things were considered useless baggage by the agents, not allowing more that two pair of clothes and shoes, going against the orders, the oldest son sneaked away nail polishes for his sister, storing it all away inside the jacket pockets.

Once upon a time, feed the wishful think that the things left behind would feel alone and abandoned, just like she does. Through all the way to the landing spot, many people were roaming the street, some sick and wandering around, enjoying the last minutes before falling into coma, while others were protesting for a solution, gathering around the military camp protecting the white house, begging to be let inside, the scream mattered not, as none of those outside made it

That night marked the first time she left the secured place for a non medical reason, it felt engulf at some point, as the air itself attempted to crush her lungs, however the safe heaven tagged along, once more, as he promised to do each time. The vision of the round metal vault door closing imprinted itself as an intruder memory, the noise, the staff affirming in a loop that nobody should worry about anything, the smell of smoke and the red light shining, as the door closed to never be opened again, for others present there the sight worked as a reminder of hope and safety, yet for her it mold as a frightened event, locked inside a place with people that controlled the child's life since the first day.

Shelter...A fancy word to be buried inside an underground facility, in the false illusion of safety against everything the outside could throw at it, from atomic bombs to the Black Fog, the idea of holding yourself in an infection free zone, with food, water and light sounds perfect, built inside the biggest military camp in the country, as a warning to the government on who runs the show, although fools believes that the construction happened to create a harmonic relationship with the politicians.

In the middle of the cold and empty metal hallways, a Observatarium takes place, covering several meters of the gigantic room, an enormous and thin screen showing realistic videos of a snowy tundra, as a light snow falls on top of the trees. She's able to witness such landscape through the brother's eyes, again, a promise from long time ago.

Mafuyu serves as her eyes and protector since the girl came into the world, ignoring all else and silently focusing the eyesight so she can enjoy it to the max, a fake nature, yet it brings comfort.

Never allowed to try for friends, as the doctors redeem her immune system too weak to be close to others, so the young men turned into something more that just a brother, a friend, a father figure and someone who wished nothing more that her well being. The two would spend hours playing or watching television, in the beginning he didn't hesitated to believe in the sight story, and when the truth that Yuki never existed came to be, Mafuyu one more time jump to the ``It's okay`` part, talking with their parents and explaining what it meant, for the youngest they share more that blood, someone who took over all of possible roles, the burning feeling irradiating in the lower abdomen fades when she can rest her head on the teen shoulder, sure that nothing out there can bring harm to the siblings.

An imaginary gust of wind blows the Uzume hair, as the elder sibling beside smiles and laughs, revealing to be the one blowing the air, extending the playful moment to the max.

they cares not about what happened in the past or that others misses the old world, as not even the apocalypse could change the family routine, or the parents lack of attention to their children, since the beginning, he remembers the adult overworking themselves to the extreme, leaving the siblings without a guide, Mafuyu felt lost for years, not sure if those two people were his parents or just someone that shares the same blood, when Reira announced another pregnancy, he knew that the same fate waited the infant, a life of loneliness, and to never hear a parent saying ``I love you``, fearing this future, the teen took over the duty of raising a child by himself. Is no secret that the girl considers the brother as a father, showing this trust by only speaking next to him, as she craves the safety and reassurance that comes with the elder Uzume presence, and he never hide this honor that it feels to be someone comfort person.

The father, a charming Chinese men in his late forties approaches. Yi Han stands out thanks to the glorious dark hair brushed in a classic and refined hairstyle, a well chosen dark blue suit and the silk skin, leaving no space to comments about flaws, while the fellow scientists worries about work, the men prioritize the physical appearance over looking clever all the time.

How the men ignores the younger child enkindles rage within Mafuyu, ``A parent should always know where his children are``, yet the youngest replies with silence, non concern to hid the scorn growing towards the men. The siblings carries on their moment, Yi takes that as a defeat, looking over the future of the family, wondering if the methods of raising they are valid, or just a cruel way to treat an eleven year old child, a sensation of shame overcomes the men smooth persona, choosing to step away before any flaw can be shown in front of others.

The father-daughter relationship had been damaged years ago, as Yi Han refused to believed about the sight and her decision of no longer wanting to pretend to be a boy, claiming that such important decision should've been delayed due to insufficient age, blaming Mafuyu influence and the heat of the moment, the lack of support pushed her away from the him, hurt beyond word. With the head of Saga paying for everything, and how the brother hold her hand at every second, Miyako went forward with the new life, going through treatment and last year a surgery to end the circle, mistaking the corporation gesture for kindness, yet the goal strayed from that good, a way to keep the child under their wings and docile, a solution to make sure that she couldn't leave the shelter or abandoned the cause, to enhanced their trust further, the pharmaceutical company developed a tiny device into a specific area of the body, assuring that the technology would avoid the necessity of daily hormones pills. A factor that seal a bound between the girl and the company, seeing the CEO as a hero of some sort, someone that aid in the most dire moment, able to enjoy life as Miyako, a name picked by the brother. The solo demand made by the company happened to be a small thing, cooperation, and nothing more. A contract signed by the child to assist in a project to adapt the sight to soldiers, so they could hijack into infected minds and gain upper hand, despite believing in this supernatural gift, the head scientist cared not to make it a project, using it as a mere mean to an end.

One would think that the end of the world could bring people together, but it didn't, the mother spend most of the days working in the dream of manufacturing a vaccine, or at least something to retard the effect of the virus, while Yi Han makes sure that the shelter geothermal power plant remains in working order. Mafuyu takes the promise to an honorable level, even joining her in classes about electronics, mechanics, medicine and biology, subjects from the new educational system, a way to create a better future, so the new generation can grow knowing the most important lessons instead of dwelling in past history or unnecessary mathematics. Despite finding those five hours boring, she cherishes every second of it, as what follows it in the schedule its never pleasant.

When the experiment time begins, Mafuyu has to leave, not a single test is harmless, each holding their own amount of pain or discomfort. Recalling about yesterday, the scientist attempted to created a theory about how the brain connect itself with the sight, looking for a logical way to explain the ability of seeing through others eyes. A thin and silver needle penetrate through the lower eye until it reached the brain, the whole procedure took place under heavy anesthesia, yet the pain grew harder to withstand afterward, worse that an emotional hollowness, a feeling that shocked through the brain and the nervous system.

However, a worst one exist, The Helmet, or so she calls it, a metal device is introduced on the head, then electrical stimulus are send to the brain, a way to improve her eyes and recover a tiny fraction of the natural sight, it makes the body fake a scenario where each centimter of skin melts, every cell and fiber deteriorates, reaching an astonishing level of fading, only to be wake by the same pain, left with no choice, but to endure it the most brutal five minutes of the day, it happened several times, and it can't seen to get better anytime soon. The shock waves suffering is staggering, yet she judges as a necessary evil, willing to make this sacrifice, blind by manipulation and scared of the chance of Saga sending the family away from the shelter, not willed to put Mafuyu into harm ways, or to sacrifice the parents career.

Using the girl lack of direction and the endless search for a purpose to created a perfect harmony, as Miyako feels like a sheep in a forest full of werewolves, a part of her believes that the suffering can be justify, and the other she deserves the pain coming from those test.

Regardless of the brother encouragement words, remanding how important her life is, the child refuses to see in the same way, seeing herself as a pillar, holding back the corruption from crumbling under the one she loves, willing to continue with the penitence, just for a small glance of a better tomorrow.

[ginkgomoon]

Lucien's Iridescent- Analysis

Finally, some more Lucien-based content! I'm so sorry for the wait, Lucien stans! If you’re out there please let me know so I can say hello to you individually and ask questions about your fav!! I want to interact with the community more so I can expand my knowledge and perception on the different characters and aspects of the game. I’d honestly love to have a chat about MLQC anytime! I didn’t expect to be posting this today because this is one is a freshie! (Started working on it today, and posted up today, unlike the other hundred that I have drafted...) Lots of spoilers for the character of Lucien and for future content. Please do not read if you don’t want spoilers! Thank you! Hope you enjoy!! 🌈 💜

Iridescent definition-

“Showing luminous colours that seem to change when seen from different angles.”

Origins

The pen is originally brought over from England, where Lucien was studying when he was younger. It actually belonged to a Granny before Lucien, and she told him, "give this luck to the special someone when you meet her."

Lucien didn't really care for the pen that much other than that, though.

"Although I had always felt that he was not gentle with me, this time I knew he did care for me. My joy didn't last for more than ten seconds, when my owner took me back and gave me a faint glance, and then gave his full attention the girl."

Also, it's tiny bit ironic about how Lucien can't see colour and names the pen "Iridescent".

"A rainbow! It's my favourite scene- that's where my name came from. But my owner can't see the rainbow. he doesn't know how to appreciate these colours." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

Iridescent and MC

“This is for you."

A silvery- white steel pen glinted in the sunlight with an "X" etched prominently into its surface. (The "X" refers to his Chinese name, "Xu mo")

MC: "Isn't this the pen you left in the set the first time you were on the show?"

"Yes, at the time I rushed back to the set. Everyone had left but one girl was still foolishly sitting there, just to give me this pen. For the first time I thought, compared to my own actions of running back there, she didn't seem that foolish at all."

His lips curved up in a smile, and his eyes softened.

"It wasn't foolish. I was slower than you, but afterwards, I saw."

I didn't understand what he meant. I tilted my head and looked at Lucien. His eyes were streaked with shadow and light by the sunshine.

MC: "Why are you giving me the pen?"

"The pen has a name. It's called Iridescent. It's a lucky charm that's been with me for many years. Now, this luck belongs to you."

Lucien opened my hand and placed the pen in it, then closed my hand back over it with an assertive force.

"It's just a pen. Take it."

Lucien turned his head and looked at me, the sunlight glistening on his lips, clear and warm. -Chapter 13-10

Lucien gave a lot of thought into giving MC the pen.

"He had been staring at me for so long his gaze almost penetrated me! My owner had always been very decisive and unwavering, but this time, I could feel his hesitation. What was it for?"

But why?

"At the moment I was a little dizzy, and thought, am I now a "love token"?" -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

I would argue multiple reasons actually. Firstly, as Iridescent itself stated, it was used as a "love exchange"- a silent confession that he loves her. He uses this pen for his work, and since this "work" was focused on the QUEEN and BLACK SWAN, it was almost like a declaration that what Lucien had owned- what Ares will soon gain, that no matter what, both personas would be by her side.

He knows that she's always in danger, from others and from himself, so he silently hopes that this pen in becoming that "lucky charm" would also help her so that she wouldn't really get caught and tied up in BLACK SWAN business.

It serves as a reminder for himself too, that a part of him will always be kept close to her. And like how its name is Iridescent, that aspect of him that can see colour is being surrendered back to her, because only with MC, can Lucien finally witness colours of the rainbow.

But of course, like all rainbows, they don't last forever, and MC uses this pen- in the name of colour- his weaknesses and the symbolism and connection of their relationship- against him.

MC: “Why?”

“I warned you before. You still had time to run too bad, you had no awareness of danger. Or one could say, you trusted me too much.”

He spoke in a tone that was provocative and mocking.

With ease, he ripped open a scar that hadn’t fully healed, and my tears came pouring out.

I don’t know why, but in that instant, I seemed to see a flash of sorrow in his eyes. But in less than half a second, he had resumed his composure. Then he pursed his lips and made a faint smile.

Thick blackness surrounded him. Even the brightest of setting suns couldn’t reach him.

But I still hoped that the hint of sorrow I caught was real. I hoped that he was still the way he used to pretend to be. But then why did his eyes seem so sincere?

Even now, I wasn’t willing to completely believe. My heart told me that it wasn’t lies.

Helping me save my final show was real. Rescuing me from danger was real. Every bit of encouragement and help was all real.

If all of that was real, how could the person in front of me now be fake?

I strained to find in his eyes any sign of pain, struggle, even a moment’s hesitation. But there was none.

There was nothing at all. We were like two strangers.

“Ares, what are you waiting for?”

I don’t know where my strength came from, but in an instant, I held something sharp to my neck. I tremblingly held the pen, sensing the bitter taste in my throat.

Seeing my action, everyone froze.

How ironic! He clearly gave it to me as a gift, and now it was carrying out its mission like this.

“You won’t do it.”

My neck was in terrible pain, and half my body was going numb.

I didn’t even realise that a trickle of blood was streaming down my neck. We stood there, neither of us was moving.

“Don’t do anything foolish.”

You’re right, I am too foolish. When I was at my lowest, he held out a hand of friendship to me and I took it in with full trust.

And now here he was again, saying that same voice I was so familiar with, that was all a trap.

He stood there, aloof and cold, with all those emotions swirling in his eyes that I never understood before. Now I final understand. It was the thrill of laying a trap and the joy of watching your prey take the bait.

MC: “Let me go.”

“You think you can negotiate with me?”

MC: “You still owe me a thank you gift.”

A tear rolled down my face silently. (This line killed me.)

He smiled mockingly.

“I can let you go, but next time, you won’t get such an opportunity. Don’t let me catch you next time.” (In other words he means, "pen you did well, now she can escape.")

MC: “Next time I won’t trust you, Ares. I will never trust you again. Because you aren’t Lucien. He would never harm me. They have nothing to do with each other!”

He turned but said nothing. That was the last time I saw a gentle look in his eye. Then he looked up at the sky as his whole body emerged into the shadows, and he continued onwards.

The pen fell from my hand onto the ground. The “X” etched onto it gleaming, seemingly telling me a story. -Chapter 13-19

"I saw the pain in my owners eyes and felt the trembling of the girl's right hand passing through me... grasping me as she left, she could not control her shaking body. She seemed to be holding onto me with all her strength, as if I was her only support.

I was accidentally dropped to the ground and rolling into the dust. but the girl didn't seem to notice, as she was in a trance looking up at the kites in the sky. But the girl crouched down to pick me up and gently wiped the dust off of me. Everyday at nightfall, I knew how much pain she endured and how much she cried in her sleep. I thought she would abandon me, but she did not... -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

n a way, it's also a silent promise, or a reason for him to keep returning to her. The tie that she always clutches secretly in her pocket that she, too, still cares for him and still thinks of him. MC still evens put the effort in the take care of Iridescent, making sure it doesn't get lost or broken. This is similar to how the ginkgo bracelet is a form of support from Gavin to MC.

As I put away my camera, I again reflexively felt around inside-

MC: “Oh no!”

A ball of sweat fell from my forehead. Where was that pen!?

A single possibility suddenly presented itself to me- but another thought immediately supplanted it-

MC: “It’s his anyway. The staff will give it back to him…”

Having confidently convinced myself with that reasoning, I left.

See how they're back to how they were from the beginning- where she was starting to get to know “Lucien”, but now she’s starting to view him as “Ares”. The two personas correlating to this one pen.

I banged my head on the table. I clutched my head in pain, and the metal pen rolled away, stopping before a pair of black shoes. Then I saw a slender hand daintily pick it up.

“You came back to find this?”

He looked at me with a playful look on his face. He raised his eyebrows and held the pen in front.

“Don’t lose it again.”

I reached out for it, but that sunny late spring day suddenly flashed before my eyes, and I started to regain my posture. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back for it.

MC: “Never mind, I’m always losing things. And it doesn’t belong to me anyway. At this point, it should go back to its original owner.”

He slowly and deliberately put the pen away, then gave as light nod. -Chapter 16-11

"With determination, the girl gave me back to my owner. The moment he took me, the last thread linking them together seemed to have broken. My owner withdraw his gaze from her and after a long time he said softly, "my little fool". The words sounded unfinished, with untold tenderness hidden behind them. But in my opinion, should the fool refer to my intelligent owner himself?

I couldn't help but think, did my owner lose his colours? Or will he find them again, someday? Because, those who have seen the rich colours of the rainbow, would not be reconciled with grey again." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

But in the end, the pen was returned back to MC.

Lucien carefully took out the pen from his pocket and placed it in the girl's hand. The he leaned over and whispered into her ear-

"Next time, don't rush into danger by yourself. Especially on my account." -Chapter 16-22

Like how Lucien would always come back to her- Ares or not, because those are his true colours- that Lucien, like how he’s also “iridescent”, would show all sides of him to her, and that he would love MC no matter which side he's on.

[rose-lord-of-simps]

AO3 fics

This is a list of AO3 fics I find and need a place to save so I can read them later! I’d save them in a file on my phone but my phone hates me and quite frankly, I don’t blame it.

Note: I also take fic finding requests! I can’t help you find specific fics but if there is a ship here you aren’t interested in or don’t ship but you want a fic for, let me know what genre you want and the ship or x reader and I’ll find it for you! Genres include fluff, romantic, spicy, angst!

Some of the descriptions are the actual descriptions from the fics, however some are just notes I made about them myself. NONE OF THESE ARE MINE AND I AM NOT TAKING CREDIT FOR THEM!

This is mostly just for me but I figured I’d post it so I can create a link for it on my page instead of going through my drafts to look for it.

Guide: ☘️ not completed 🍀 completed ❌ not read ✔️ read 🌶 spicy 🌹 romance 🌵angst 🌼 fluff

If you think an emoji on a fic should be changed, just let me know! I DID NOT PUT ANY TRIGGER WARNING IN THE DESCRIPTIONS! If I think there is something trigger or know there is I will tell you to read the tags and notes but if you read one of these with a mislabeled emojis or you think a 🌵 should be added, please let me know.

On the last day of every month I go through and update the info of if it is completed and how many chapters there are. Because of this some of the info may be wrong as you read this post.

Solangelo

A World Alone

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

10 chapters and part of a Series

🌼🌹 Nico was ready to propose - now he just needed to figure out how. He convinces Will to celebrate Hanukkah for the first time in years. The problem is, Nico doesn't know anything about Hanukkah.

The Ballad of Landon Creek

Completed ☘️ Read not all the way

22/32 updated 2021-03-05 left off on 16

🌵🌹🌼Doctor Will Solace had lived in the secluded Oregon town of Ladon Creek for a year when a mysterious stranger arrived and turned his world upside down.

PLEASE CHECK THE TAGS AND NOTES!

Kiribaku

A series of coincidental meetings

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

3 chapters - left off on 3

🌼 Exactly what the title says

Coat/Jacket

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 chapter but part of a series!

🌼 Eijirou wakes up cold, alone, and worried. What hidden truths will he find when he seeks out his boyfriend?

Axis

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter but part of a series!

🌵 Ochako recieves a letter from Bakugo she never wanted.

Not Kiribaku centered but includes Kiribaku

And your name for the order is

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌼 Coffee shop AU where Kirishima is the only one who enjoys taking Bakugo’s order

Tell me the truth (even if it hurts)

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

3 chapters - left off on 3

🌵 little not much 🌹/🌼 Kirishima gets hit with a truth quirk but he isn’t the one telling the truth

Tell me Whatever

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 chapter

🌼 mostly, Bakugo gets hit with a quirk and it becomes impossible to be lied to, and Kirishima is so very open

Bien Cuit

Completed ☘️ Read ❌

7/10 updated on 2021-02-12 left off on 1?

🌼🌹 “It’s the best cafe in town! You gotta try it!!” Kirishima exclaimed. “What’s the worse that can happen?” Kirishima asked. Bakugou should have fucking known better than to trust that Shitty Hair for a simple coffee recommendation.

Or : Bakugou Katsuki accidentally ends up in a cafe meet-cute with Deku’s former number one ride-or-die, Uraraka Ochako, and they catch feelings.

Fireflies

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌵🌹 romance and angst, soulmate AU!

Dis-ease

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

2 Chapters and part of a series left off on chapter 1

🌼Kirishima is sick and Bakugo takes care of him

I Missed You

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 Chapter

🌼 After a long mission, Bakugou and Kirishima talk on their couch, some sweet things are said, and their friends walk in on them making out.

5 Times Bakugou Katsuki was soft for Kirishima Eijirou and the 1 Time Everyone Found Out

Completed ☘️ Read not done yet

2/6 Chapters updated on 2021-01-19 left off on 2

🌼 Sunflowers, daisies, and a discussion about bubbles.

Light it up like dynamight

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 chapter

🌼 Kirishima had a mission: to discover Bakugou’s favourite band. After all, he had a Christmas gift to buy.

Or, alternatively, in which best bros Kirishima and Bakugou go to a concert and they end the day being more than bros.

Valentine- a Kiribaku fluffshot

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 Chapter

🌹🌼 Happy valentine's day! Well, it's not not so happy for Katsuki, who's finally decided to confess to Eijirou. Much due to Mina's pushiness, he decided to confess through cliched Valentine's chocolates. Although he's nervous and doubtful, a good deal of hope sits buried in Katsuki's chest. But what will happen when the Bakusquad hangs out on Valentine's Day and someone notices the chocolates?

We don’t have to be ordinary

Completed 🍀 Read unfinished

8/8 chapters left off on 5

🌵🌹🌼 A Footloose AU that nobody asked for, but I'm certainly providing.

Sounds a little strange for someone who’s never watched footloose- BUT IT’S SO GOOD I PROMISE!

Gotta KiriBaku Them All

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter

Eijiro Kirishima is a eighteen year old rock trainer in a world full of Pokemon. His childhood best friend Denki Kaminari travels with him to different regions. One fateful day they decide to enlist in a charity tournament at Lumiose City in Kalos. Who will they meet and what challenges will they face? Follow the boys as they make new friends and battle their way through the competition!

Im unsure how to emoji label this one so please read the tags and notes!

Bakugou and his Journal

Completed ☘️ Read not finished

1/2 chapters updated 2021-02-07

🌼🌵? (Unsure how to emoji label this) Bakugou’s journal.

Shinkami

Clashing Colors

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

3 chapters

🌼One month into classes at UA and shinso is being transferred into class 1-A, a small problem being that kaminari has started to have feelings for him and just to his luck, kaminari has been chosen to help shinso move into his new dorm.

(Obviously) They’re Married

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

6 chapters

🌹🌼mostly, Where Kaminari meets Shinso’s dads. But he doesn’t know who they are. Erasermic family!

5 + 1 Things : Kamishin

Completed 🍀 Read ?

1 Chapter

🌼🌵 5 times Kaminari was too loud for Shinso, 1 time he was too quite. Warning: language and brief mention of homophobia

Let me Scream

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌵🌼 Mina made Hitoshi drop an extremely personal note before reading it out loud with Denki present. Denki got mad at Hitoshi for the first time. A while later, he angrily opens up and tells Hitoshi why.

Or Hitoshi and Denki have their first argument as a couple.

You Make It Feel Like Christmas

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter

🌼Kaminari and Shinsou spend their first Christmas together. Shinsou's never really celebrated Christmas and Kaminari is determined to give him a real Christmas

Catch Me

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

5 Chapters

🌼(but read the tags!) Shinsou and Kaminari meet by chance their first year of high school and spend one whirlwind day together that changes the trajectory of their entire lives. Three years later, after maintaining a long distance friendship, they are roommates, nearly through their first year at the University of Osaka. They are forever on the edge of something beyond friendship, but never quite able to take the leap of faith for fear of tainting their memories of that one, perfect day. That is, until Kaminari gets blackout drunk in a night of frustration and Shinsou won't let it go.

Pizza n Fries

Completed ☘️ Read not finished

3/? Chapters updated 2021-03-10 left off on 2

🌼 So here Kaminari sits, the most popular boy in school, alone, idly poking at his school lunch,, pizza. How the school managed to screw up pizza was beyond him, but at the same time he was once given a single slice of soggy bread for lunch. Just as he was about to get up to throw his plate in the trash, it's entire existence disgusted him, a deep voice sounded in, "school lunches am I right?"

We’ll Hold You When the Sky Falls Down

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 Chapter

🌹🌼This is a Kaminari x Jirou x Shinsou fic! Soulmate AU where you can write on your arm and it appears on your partner’s arm!

Denki Who is Not His Boyfriend

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌹🌶(a little bit) PLEASE READ THE RAGS OF THIS ONE AND THE NOTES

Kaminari Denki’s Very Strange Day

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌼 All hail Denki Kaminari, newly initiated drinker of respect women juice, matchmaker extraordinaire. Alternately, Shinsou Hitoshi simultaneously has the worst and best day of his life.

Tododeku

How did I not Know?

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌵 Aizawa is concerned when Todoroki starts to fall behind in class but dismissed it as the boy needing a break and that he would be fine when he came back to the dorms after a weekend of being at home. He never would've thought how wrong he was and how one weekend would reveal a lifetime of secrets about the Todoroki household. Though he just wished that the two teens would have been spared from the crossfire that is Endeavor.

Not Tododeku centric but they’re together

The Prince and the Painter

Completed ☘️ Read ❌

1/? Chapters updated 2021-01-30

🌵🌹🌼 Prince Shoto Todoroki is next in line for the Alterian throne. His father rules the Kingdom with an iron fist, giving Shoto no choice but to obey his every order. He is overworked, depressed, and utterly miserable. That is until he meets Izuku Midoriya, an avant-garde painter who starts to bring the color back into his dull life. But what happens when they start to fall in love with each other? Shoto is a Prince, and Izuku is just a painter, surely this cannot end well!

(Basically a royal AU! Lots of angst, family drama, and of course fluffy love. Enjoy!)

Of Flowers and Tattoos

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter and part of a series!

Shouto owns a tattoo parlor. Izuku owns a flower shop. Love (unsurprisingly) happens.

Property Of Prince Shotou Todoroki

Completed 🍀 Read not finished

9 chapters left off on 4

🌵🌹🌶little bit of Bakugou x Midoriya, prince Todoroki x peasant Deku AU! PLEASE READ THE TAGS AND NOTES!

Lady in Red

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 chapter

🌼 Izuku’s mother refuses to tell him who her Valentine’s date is. Tododeku isn’t the main ship but it’s still included so it’s going here.

Something That I Want

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌹🌼🌵(lightly) TANGLED AU ITS SO GOOD OH MY GOSH-

The Cupid Quirk

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

23/23 chapters updated 2021-04-08

🌹🌼 During an attack at school, Midoriya gets hit by a quirk that leaves him infatuated with the first person he sees, which just so happens to be Todoroki Shouto. Due to an unfortunate side effect of the quirk, Midoriya breaks out into a horrible fever whenever they’re separated for too long, so Todoroki accepts the responsibility of caring for him until the quirk wears off. Problem is, Todoroki sort of, kind of, maybe likes Midoriya as more than just a friend, which makes the whole situation just a little awkward for him.

THIS IS AN AMAZING FIC AND I LOVE IT. You’re not gonna regret this read.

Erasermic

So They Follow in Our Footsteps

Completed ☘️ Read ❌

1/2 chapters 2021-01-22 part of a series!

🌵🌼 Eventually, Aizawa thinks, he’s going to figure Shinsou out. He’s gonna figure out what it means to tote around a kid through the zombie apocalypse like a Chanel bag, and what it means to get truly, murderously pissed when they’re threatened.

Zombie apocalypse AU! So- Apocolypse AU’s aren’t my thing so I don’t know why I have this one saved and I’m probably not going to read it, however I found a link for it on tumblr in the Erasermic tag so that’s where it’s going! ALSO READ THE NOTES OF THE CHAPTER!

Miritama

Glowing

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter and part of a series

🌼 Kirishima asks Tamaki about Mirio.

Of Octopus Balls and Contract Flaws

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 Chapter

🌼 Tamaki really had to be careful about what he said out loud sometimes, or else a simple frustrated phrase such as "I would sell my soul for some decent takoyaki" could easily be taking out of context.

Purple Haze

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter and part of a series!

🌹🌼Tamaki wants to know Mirio’s colour. “What’s your color? I wanna know, I wanna know.”

Burst of Sunlight

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter

🌹🌼🌵(possibly) In the aftermath of the Shie Hassaikai raid, Tamaki looks after Mirio. One-shot. Soft Miritama

Summertime:Miritama

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter

🌼 Amajiki Tamaki had always preferred the winter, until Mirio came along. Tamaki tells the story of him and Mirio by following their memories through the course of many summers.

Grossly Incandescent

Complete 🍀 Read ❌

1 chapter

Mirio thinks, perhaps, his journey to find his own sun has found just the right path. Tamaki just do what he's supposed to and ring the bell. Their paths may just merge into one. OR Mirio knows incandescence when he sees it, but it's a bit harder to prove that to Tamaki if he's just going to hide under his hood all day!

Star Spots

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter

🌹🌼 mirio looks so sad, beneath the surface, and tamaki wants to say something, but doesn't know what's best for his best friend. what do you do, what do you say, when your best friend lost something so important to them? or, a series of scenes where tamaki and mirio spend their time in each others company, make confessions, and make it through to the other side.

Moments of Peace

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 chapter and part of a series

🌹🌼Mirio wakes up way too early, and he takes a moment to appreciate the love of his life

The “Almost” Perfect Nest

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌹🌼Omega Tamaki likes to take comfort in the nests he creates to have Mirio's alpha scent around. He finds blankets and clothes that smell likes Mirio and throws them all into one big pile. So what happens the day he can't find a specific hoodie that belongs to Mirio? He loses it.

Love Confessions are Hard for Idiots

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌹🌼Mirio wants to confess.

Todoroki x Kaminari

Denki’s Life Essentials:Memes, food, and Shouto

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

1 Chapter

Denki tries to explain what memes are to Shouto and accidentally falls in love.

Hawks x Reader

Amans Avaritia

Completed ☘️ Read not all the way

3/? Chapters updated on 2021-01-05 left off on chapter 3

🌵🌹When the Prince of the feathered-folk Kingdom, Hawks, threatens to declare war on your kingdom, you’re forced to make the worst and best decision of your life.

Let’s Chase the Sun

Completed ☘️ Read ❌

19/? Updated on 2021-02-22

(I unsure what emojis to use) Your whole life you had been sheltered away from the real world, but you weren’t exactly alone in that aspect. You just had less freedom than him. Now, however, you would take him as a chance to live life the way you wanted to. Who cares about the consequences after all? Life isn’t easy, though, and that’s something you’ll have to learn, even with a capable hero at your side. Because to be honest, being with him is the biggest problem of all.

Im unsure what emojis to use so PLEASE CHECK THE TAGS and the NOTES in the first chapter!

Writers

Born Dead

MHA ship writer, mostly Kiribaku I believe

Multi-Ship

Totally Definetly Legit Leaked BNHA Valentine’s Day Light Novel Spoilers

Completed 🍀 Read ✔️

1 chapter

🌼 I honestly have no idea how to describe this, some Momo x Todoroki, and Kiribaku

If you don’t take this friendship, I will shove it up your ass

Completed ☘️ Read not finished

3/? Chapters updated 2021-01-31 left off on 2

🌼crack fic, no one ship specific, super funny!

The Todoroki In-Laws

Completed 🍀 Read ❌

13/13 COMPLETED and part of a series!

🌼crack fic Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings. Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but… Honestly, where’s the fun in that?

Part 2 coming soon... there’s more...

[purplefictionmom]

I'd normally be like "ALL THE QUESTIONS" but I'm really interested in 7 and 15 (but like if you wanted to do them all then hell yeah pls do)

You know what, Imma answer them all, cause I love you darling~

All answers under the cut, cause I’m sure I'll get long winded, as usual haha

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?I mean, there was a story that I had been sitting on for...10 years, I think? I just didn’t know how I wanted to tell the story. It started as a mockumentary type of thing, then when that didn’t fit the narrative style I wanted to tell, I moved to a classic modern fantasy style, but that didn’t pan out either.

Then, the game called “What Remains of Edith Finch” came out and it hit me so hard that I nearly passed out: that is the perfect narrative style for the book idea I’ve been sitting on!!

Incidentally, if you haven’t played/watched someone play it, “What remains of Edith Finch” is an excellent game and Jacksepticeye does a wonderful let’s play of it :D

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?Not as much anymore, but I used to hate bringing up “...And the Things That Followed.” Just for a short what-for: ATTTF is a Left4Dead/2 fanfiction, reader-insert that started as a sort of experiment: I perused lunaescence and picked a fandom that I was familiar with, but that didn’t have a lot of fanfiction to choose from. I mostly wanted to see if smaller fandoms stay active, even with very little content to choose from. And boy, did I get my answer.

The biggest reason that I ended up embarrassed over it was because I hadn’t intended it to be a romance fic (I mean...the two main characters are the reader and a Hunter, and what with necrophilia being really gross and all...), but I had readers out and out demand for it, to the point of going on strike from reading my fanfic. This was years ago, mind you, so I caved like a wet noodle and now hate that particular fanfic, to the point where I don’t even want to write the two sequels that I already had planned and half-written.

So, it started out as embarrassment, now its more I wish I could just delete it and forget it exists, but I’m one of those authors who has a really hard time deleting anything, even things I hate haha.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?For the very first, ultimate scene I picture in each fic/story/novel, it could really end up anywhere in the final version.

After that first initial scene I see, I try to start as far back as I think I can get away with and move forward from there, so I guess the short answer is I write from beginning to end, no matter how it ends up being at the end, haha.

4) favorite character you’ve writtenI guess this is supposed to not include characters I don’t own, but that’s no fun so here you go:

OC: A supernatural Hunter named Silva and another hunter (who I have an rp blog for) named Theodora ‘Timmie’ Wilson

Non-OC: Writing Yusuke from YYH and Asgore from UT

5) character you were most surprised to end up writingI’m not quite sure what this question means, so I’ll just take a stab and guess it’s talking about how a character can end up differently on paper than how you first envisioned them in your head.

And that award goes to Silva. I expected her to be a hard, cold killer, but she had so much inner turmoil and hidden thoughts that she was definitely the hardest character to write until I actually started to understand her.

Which took an ungodly amount of time, tbh haha.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change nowProbably how often I use the double-hyphen. Its meant to be an alternative to using commas (which, I use to many as it is anyway haha), but now they litter my writing like popcorn on the floor at a midnight release, haha.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?Honestly? A little of both.

I’m someone who sees fanfiction (and any fanwork at all, tbh) as legitimate art forms, but there are so many who not only don’t agree, but they belittle and question those who participate in fandoms.

There are days I have all my shit together and I’m ready to defend my fanfiction to the death, along with all my original content; I have my sources, I have examples, so on and so forth, but other days...

Well, let’s just say there are days I don’t even volunteer that information to people willingly haha.

8) favorite genre to writeOther than fanfiction, I love horror, fantasy, and scifi the best, though there are plenty of times it feels like I’m hardly writing for any of those genres at all, haha.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?Fanfiction, most of the time, but I also listen to songs on the radio, discuss ideas with friends/family (my step-dad was the only person when I was growing up who nurtured my love for telling stories and many of my ideas for novels came from talking with him over the years), or I also like to free-write.

At least, I think its called free-writing haha. I basically just put my pen on paper and just talk to the page with my pen. Sometimes, its just a rant, but more often then not, I’ll find a story or character hidden there.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?All of the above, haha. In the perfect atmosphere, music is playing in the background, and I’m completely alone with no distractions, but since that’s not reality, I’ve sort of forced myself to adapt to what I can.

My computer (where I do 90% of my writing) is in the living room of my house, so my hubby is usually around, and if he’s playing overwatch, then its usually a few voices playing in the background.

If it gets to be too distracting, I just put headphones in, but I also write in notebooks and I take those everywhere, so for that, I just write when/what I can as I go along.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?Definitely dialogue, but also my prose. Honestly, all of it, haha. I look back at stuff I wrote years ago and I wonder how anybody thought I was any good, haha.

12) your weaknesses as an authorIf I had to pick one, its probably that I tend to either over-explain, or under-explain. There is no in-between, haha. My first drafts are often a mess of me focusing in on the details of one room and then not describing a setting for two chapters or more.

13) your strengths as an authorProbably my ability to logically follow order of events, even though I don’t plot, like, at all. This also makes it easy to see where I can divert from what’s expected and explore different avenues.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?Not really? I tend to either put my whole library on shuffle, or I have a dedicated writing playlist that’s full of background music from video games and other things like that.

15) why did you start writing?It started as an outlet.

When I was about 10, my dad came home from work one day while my mom was still at work and while I watched, packed all his stuff into his car, called my mother and told her that if she didn’t get off work soon I’d be home alone, and then left.

I was in a complete and total depression from around then until well into my late teens (I have a little depression now, and a slew of other problems, but now for diff reasons). On top of my dad leaving, my mother, step-father and I all moved to a completely new state, where I started to bomb academically and had literally no friends until almost a year later.

It started out as angsty pre-teen poetry (a lot of which actually still pretty good, even as I go back to read it), then it spilled into fanfiction and fandoms, and around the age of 13--once my step-dad found my love of writing and wanted to pull me away from fanfiction--I finally started writing original ideas out.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?Silva, and a few others. Not so much because their stories are left untold, but moreso because of the way they helped shape me as a writer and the things I was interested in writing about.

The debate about whether or not a writer should write about a certain subject usually stems from readers, but I tend to lean toward the argument from a writer’s point of view: there are subjects that I broached as a teenager that I needed to explore in order to be who I am today, as a person and as a writer. Not to say I have something horrible in my writer’s past that I wouldn’t be able to share, but more that it might be questionable about the age that I delved into those topics. (and no, I don’t mean just smut, though that is included in what I’m talking about)

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?Stop wasting your time trying to please family members with what you write. Most of them are going to ignore the whole of your writing and focus in on the one swear word you threw in for characterization anyway.

Write what makes you happy; whether or not its publishable isn’t the point. You’re just starting out and you need to write; to get better, to learn the ropes, so just go WRITE!

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?Oh geez...at the beginning, everything I read affected my writing style. Fanfiction, published novels, everything.

Probably my biggest influencers would be “The Green Mile” by Stephen King, “The Hobbit” by JRR Tolkien, “This Present Darkness” By Frank Peretti.

And while these are hugely different authors with different writing styles, they more influenced me in my way of thinking. Of expanding my imagination of what could be if I just had the courage to write it.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?I either have a notebook filled with notes about characters/information, or I use a website called Hiveword(dot)com. It’s a novel tracking website that also advertises its program (which you have to pay for), but the website itself is free and you can store all the information about your book, characters, timeline, etc.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?Both, but I get more done with longer sessions. I know that seems like a no-brainer, but its more because of how I prep myself for my writing time:

I have to have a glass of water or cup of coffee, I have to have my music playing (which, with spotify could take a few minutes to load), I have to re-read the last page or so of what was previously written so I can get back into the feel of it, then I can actually sit down and write.

the little spurts end up being in my notebooks and they’re a mess, honestly, haha.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?I used to cringe and close it immediately, but I’ve been trying to analyze and see the biggest differences in my writings from a then and now standpoint. Sometimes its really hard, if its particularly bad or whatev, but its been a real confidence booster when I can see where I was and where I am now.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?Not uncomfortable, per se, but I tend to try and think of things from a reader’s perspective at the same time I write, so there are times when I get a little too involved in what’s happening on the page, haha.

HIAPOTS was a terror to write at some points because of this.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?All of it, if I’m being honest, but obscure things specifically? Hmm...

I mean, probably the fact that I give all my pets personalities and conversations between each other? I do it without thinking, but there are times where I’ll find myself using lines or situations from this weird little thing in my actual writings, haha.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?OMG SO MUCH. Like, idk about ‘expert’, but I have so much useless trivia in my head because of being an author. Talk with me for an hour and see if I don’t throw ‘fun facts’ into the mix of our conversations haha.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud ofOh ugh...umm...let me to look...

From a currently unpublished reader/sans fic I’m writing:You understand, don’t you, Sans? 

Sure, Sans understood. Sans always understood. He was the one who didn’t make waves, or overturn boats--you could always count on Sans to be the reassuring nod when you felt lost or the understanding ex who’s perfectly okay with just letting things die, even though the ending came as the greatest punchline ever written in history:

He hadn’t even seen it coming.

(I love delving into characters’ heads, and i love it more when i can do it well enough to feel comfortable with letting other people read it, haha)

From Part 6 of my Garrus/Reader serial fic:“They were my cases,” Garrus admitted, his eyes finally leaving Castis’s in favor of looking at the floor, “And I can’t watch it happen again.”

If Castis didn’t have such a steely reign on his composure now, Garrus might have been clued into his father’s line of thought. As it was, Castis was being forced to realize that he had been wrong in his assessments of his son.The older turian had always thought Garrus shirked the rules and regulations as a form of rebellion, since Castis stepped in and forced him to quit training for the spectres--as if to prove he didn’t care about what his father cared about. Now, Castis realized the reason Garrus pushed them aside so easily was because he did care, maybe too much.

(Honestly, the whole argument between Castis and Garrus in this part of the fic is something I’m proud of)