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anonymous0writer · 4 years

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The Words We Never Said II Sarah Cameron

Author: @anonymous0writer

Warnings: Sarah’s death?? ANGST

Summary: You’ve always been in love with your best friend, Sarah Cameron. But you’ve kept your feeling close to your heart as you watched her fall in love with other boys. And dealing with the loss of the girl after she ran off with the John B. is not easy. Especially when a realization comes to light.

Pairings: RafexReader KelcexReader SarahxReader but they all are platonic :)

A/N: Big shout out to my girl Jackie @calumbroutledge bc her fic gave me inspiration and whoo-wee I haven’t written in a long time. Anyways, here ya go.

also if this is bad IM SO SORRY

Tags so this doesn’t flop: @jayjaymaebank @decap-quadrant @starkeystyles @thelocalpogue @socialwriter

The picture. The damn picture had your heart tumbling out of its carefully placed pieces and breaking apart once again. Because of the picture.

The portrait. Of her in her shining glory and brightly smile. A gasp ripped from your chapped lips, a tell tale sing you were about to fall to your knees. Gasping, you tried to tear your gaze away but you couldn’t. It was painful to look, but looking away made your heart ache, reminding you of the empty place in the cavity of your chest. A ragged breath filled and emptied your chest.

You gazed at her, taking the stinging time to memorize her features. You studied the sweep of her blonde hair, the edges curling slightly from the salty air. The soft curve of her full, shiny lips as they broke into a smile. One she flashed to strangers on the street and gave whenever your days were plagued with your darker thoughts. You admired her eyes, crinkled at the edges from her broad grin, glimmering with joy and something else you couldn’t quite place. The emotion was tucked away, expertly hidden, but you, of course, could pick it out. Your shoulders sagged as you stared hard into her painted eyes, trying not to cry. The familiar glint of her wasn’t there. Because it wasn’t a live photo. It was a painting, a smear of mixed paints and colors to create a replica of the real thing. But Sarah was too bright to ever be captured on a canvas. Her light too great to ever be tamed.

Without realizing it, a sob tumbled out of your throat, weak and broken. But with it came a scream. A scream of desperation and hollowness of a lost one forever torn. your lips dropped and your throat burned but you released your feelings through your vocal chords. Your scream died to a broken gasping, but tears swam down your cheeks in little rivers. Another wave, another memory stabbed at you, making your knees go weak and another cry erupting from your lips. You stumbled backward, unable to hold yourself up, sorrow tugging you down.

Footsteps shuffled behind you quickly, and arms scooped beneath your armpits as you hit the floor. the strong arms pulled your back to their chest, keeping you from freaking out further. You couldn’t stop it now. The cries of grief falling from your lips in an unending spill of emotions. You sobbed, unable to see in front of you. In your haze of sorrow, you flailed, hands flying and feet trying to find purchase on marble floor. A grunt escaped the boy before you, but he tugged you closer, trying to keep you under control. Lord knows what this weight of grief would make you do. Your nails gripped his broad arms tightly, digging half moons into his flesh, but he did not stop holding you.

You gave up, too weak to continue your fight. You collapsed in his arms, sobs racking your delicate body. Your head dropped to his chest, his warmth radiating from all points of connection. You gripped his shirt, hands balling into the fabric. His large hands came up to rest tentatively on your back, trying desperately to soothe your aching heart and grieving mind. Your crying created a heart breaking symphony in the foyer of the Cameron house. You shook violently as you broke your connection to the boy holding you to see who it was. Looking up through your wet lashes, you found the saddened face of Kelce looking down at you. Your eyes met, your red rimmed ones meeting his dark orbs. Your hiccups stopped abruptly, and you sniffed, eyes going wide. His dark eyes were like Sarah’s. His face was in the slant of light coming through the windows, turning the golden auburn color you were so familiar with.

A scream ripped from your throat, and your feet fought for purchase once again, arms pinwheeling as you scrambled backwards. Her eyes- his eyes- hurt more than you could fathom. The memories came flooding back like a broken dam, the pain of it dragging across your skin like barbed wire. You hurried away and quickly you back hit a wall. Your eyes were wide and brimming with tears of hurt as you stared at your friend. Tears soon blurred your vision again, sending everything into a frenzy and your heart racing and slamming against your ribs. You were hyperventilating by this point, hands shaking uncontrollably and cries filling the foyer once again.

Kelce stared at you with dismay, his own heart cracking at sight of your broken figure, slumped and hyperventilating, tears streaming down your red cheeks. The memory of your nails still hovered over his skin, and the ghost of your form shaking in his hold scared him. He hated seeing you this way, so broken and irreversibly sad. He craved to calm you down, help you, but he knew he couldn’t near you without you bursting into hysterics again. Kelce swallowed the lump in his throat and called for the one person he knew would help you. Rafe.

“Rafe!” he called desperately, voice breaking at the end of his call. He was careful not to make any sudden movements, but he wanted to hold you close and tell you it was gonna be alright. You were the happy go lucky girl. The excellent surfer and strongest person he knew. And to see you- his friend- to be such a bright light dimmed, made his heart hurt.

The eldest Cameron came into the room, blue eyes finally landing on you. You buried your face in your hands, trying to wipe away the tears that kept on coming. A broken sob met Rafe’s ears as he knelt before you, his voice soft and coaxing.

“Hey,” he murmured, needing you to look at him and calm down. His voice was as soft as someone who understood could be. He knew the feeling that would linger behind your heart like a nasty shadow. It was already on his heart, him finding closure much quicker than you. For you, it was like a fresh, gaping wound, each time your eyes or thoughts wandered to something relating to Sarah cutting it open all over again. “Y/N.” he said more forcibly, a slight beg raising his voice. “Look at me, okay?”

You looked up as soon as his large hands rested on your arms, the warmth of them sending shock waves through your chilled body. You met Rafe’s blue eyes and caught your breath. In them you found the sea, and the peace you needed to still your racing heart. You hiccuped, mouth tugging into a grief ridden frown.

“I know.” The boy whispered, voice just loud enough to travel to your ears. “But it’s alright. You-“

“How?”

Your voice cut through the shocked silence of the room, coming out choked and hoarse. Rafe’s eyes flickered over your face, taking in the puffy, red eyes, the tear stained cheeks, the trembling lips. He swallowed. He knew how much his sister meant to you and visa versa.

What he didn’t know was how you were in love with her. Stricken dead by her beauty and golden soaked skin, shining eyes and breathtaking smile. But you’d fallen in love when you learned her. Learned the way she spoke about her family, mouth tilting up and her eyes shrinking as she smiled. Learned the way her hand fit perfectly into yours when she dragged you to places or just grabbed it for support. You learned the way she laughed when she found something really funny, mouth wide open, full, hearty laughs filling the space. You learned the way her presence brighten a room, just the whisper of her brought everyone’s mood up. You learned the way she whispered her secrets to you, voice low and almost raspy as she giggled and confided in you in the dark of her room. You learned the way she breathed when she was sleeping, on her side and facing you and she snuggled closer when you slept over. You fell in love with Sarah Cameron as soon as you learned her being. And you fell only deeper as she grabbed a hold of you and submerged you into her life, making yours such a vibrant one. You knew here reputation with people. How she grew close and reeled them in and then let them loose once they got a little too close. And maybe that’s the reason why you thought she felt the same. Because she kept you. But once enough saw her mouth against the pogues that worked on her father boat, you knew you were wrong. And when she ran away and disappeared in the churning waves of the ocean with him, you knew she never ever felt the same way. You were just another sister. Someone you almost had to love. Another wheezie. Perhaps she meant to let you go but the waves took her before that happened.

You choked on your grief but continued. “How is this alright?” your voice quirked up, riddled with pain. “How is Sarah begin gone okay? How is any of this okay?!” you hollered, as loud as you could without breaking down.

You watched the blue eyed boy before you flinch away from you words. Both of you knew they were spoken out of grief, but they hurt nonetheless. The waterworks started, and you cried harder because of it. You hated the way you broke so easily. Broke down and cried like it was the easiest thing in the world. Cried like you were weak. You knew it was wrong for you thoughts to twist this way, but the only person who could change them was crushed and lost to the Atlantic ocean.

Rafe’s throat bobbed and his hands moved from your shoulders. You quickly swallowed the rising scream, and tried to regain control over yourself.

“She’s gone!” you sobbed as Rafe enveloped you in a hug. His warmth spread through you, trying to soothe you. You broke down against Rafe’s chest, crying and sobbing. You kept repeated the words ‘she’s gone’ into the soft material. Anger rose in your blood, painting your eyelids red. It built up, rage at the world - for taking Sarah away from you. In fit, you slammed your fist against Rafe’s chest.

“She’s gone! Sarah’s gone, Rafe!” your voice was raw and begging. Begging him to take away your hurt in any way he could.

“I know- trust me. I know.” he whispered, his nose flaring as he tried not to join you in crying. You gave up trying to be strong and collapsed against the boy.

You stayed like that, on the floor and crying. You had wrapped your arms under his arms and gripped him tightly as Rafe held you back with the same intensity. As if you held each other tight enough, you wouldn’t fall apart, and you’d be ok. Your sobs quieted, and you sniffled harshly, burying your face in the crook of the boys neck.

You almost wanted to laugh. It was always the Cameron’s hold you together, wasn’t it?

Without trying, your eyes traveled to find the portrait. Hung delicately on the wall, resting softly as it displayed the occupant of the house proudly. And indeed, she was beautiful. But that’s not what caught your attention. It was the glint in her dark eyes. The usual joy in her eyes was there, but that hidden emotion. You finally realized what it was. Love. Pure love, consuming and overwhelming.

And then it hit you. Sarah wasn’t looking at the painter.

She had been looking at you.

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