#like before & after coming out blurs bc all that changed was transphobia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fantastic-mr-corvid · 7 months

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bro why the fuck is understanding my gender locked behind reckoning with my traumatic childhood and the de-gendering & social masculinization i went though due to poverty and having to turn to masculinity/male social systems due to being rejected from girlhood at a young age and needed a social systems to protect myself from the consequences of being an autistic traumatized gifted student.

cant i just have a quick answer? a shortcut? without dredging all that up? without getting a PHD in gender-studies? please??

#thebirdspeaks #welcome to my ongoing gender crisis #i am a thing that exists and also technically a person #i cant even fully describe the gender i was perceived as pre-social transition #like i was a girl on paper but i was broadly treated as such so little #that i cant easily fit into seen as girl -> actually not one #its more other people refused me femininity & other aspects of being a girl #so i forcibly embraced masculinity #because you cant survive on the outside #and i was very much one of the guys #a very very extreme tomboy #and that resulted in further rejections from femininity #idk like on paper i was a girl #but i was never really treated as one #i was this in-between thing #even before i came out as trans #like before & after coming out blurs bc all that changed was transphobia #anyway #tldr my gender identity is confusing and going back to try and figure it out is needed but also messy as fuck

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