#like gob was fully convinced it was fake up until that point

[gregmarriage]

that whole thing where it’s like “a man ruins every romantic relationship he has with a woman because his real soulmate is a man” or whatever, but apply it to gob bluth

[sathtrash]

The first time Geoff trusted Gavin with a negotiation he was incredibly nervous. Gavin knew he was good with words, he had always been very persuasive, whether it was convincing Dan to do something dumb when they were drunk or working for his first gang back in London, spinning lies like golden thread to get important people out of trouble.

But his last negotiation, before he left London for LS, had gone so horrendously wrong and he was so terrified it would happen again. He had known the girl he’d been bargaining for, she was a friend even if she was the gang leader’s oldest daughter, she was such a nice girl, so quick to a wide grin at even the dumbest of antics that Gavin would tell her about him and Dan getting up to. And she had died. She had only just turned eighteen, maybe three months younger than Gavin, and then not long after she had been kidnapped by a rival crew who were upset over a gun deal gone south or some rubbish. He had used every ounce of skill with words he possessed, even flirted a bit with one of the captors just to get them to leave her, and they had. But she was hours cold with a bullet buried in her skull, and she would never smile again, never bat her dark eyes at her father to let Gavin stay over just a little longer to hang out late at night, she would never laugh again when Gavin went a little too hard at a video game, never talk conspirationally behind her hand to Gavin and her three little sisters about some boy or another at a party. 

The thought of having someone else’s life in his hands like that again terrified Gavin. And when he had to do it again it was for Michael. His boi, his best friend his found-family, his brother in all but blood. And he was terrified. 

“We need him back” Geoff said, hands planted on hips, doing so less as a gesture of control over Gavin and more trying to control himself, ringed fingers digging into his hips in a way that showed how scared he really was. “You’re the only one who can get him back buddy”

“I don’t think I can” Gavin replied with a hitch in his breath, he was so scared that he would find Michael just as he had found that girl, freezing cold with a bullet wound gaping between his curls. He couldn’t handle that.

“You can and you’ve gotta. Michael is important to all of us, and you can get him back. They know they can’t reason with me or Jack for you boys, if she or I have to go in we are never coming home with Michael” his voice was hard, but it was edged with tears and fear “I am not losing either of you to some low-lifes that just happened to grab Michael on a street corner without any real fucking plan of what they would do other than try to squeeze our territory out of our hands.” Geoff paused, raking fingers through already messy hair “You can do this and you will, and Michael will be home with his ass on my fucking living room couch before Jack puts dinner on the fucking table.”

“Alright” Gavin choked out after a long pause, hands clenched at his sides “I’ll do it” his heart felt tight in his chest, racing too fast for comfort.

“Good” Geoff paused, putting a hand on Gavin’s shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze “You can do this Gav, not just because you need to, but because this is what you’re good at, what you were meant for.” with that Geoff left the room, his back stock straight and stiff. He was going to find Jack, Gavin knew that for sure, she had been devastated when they’d gotten that note, and had seemingly yet to calm down, last Gavin had heard she had gone up to the roof and hadn’t come back down since.

When he heard Geoff leave the apartment Gavin finally moved from where he stood, and went to ready himself.

He left less than fifteen minutes later, looking his usual self, a ring sparkling on each finger, gold chains hanging from his neck, hair styled to an inch of its life. The only difference was his jacket. Tucked into the waistband of his trousers at the small of his back, hidden by the navy blazer he wore, was a pistol with a pearl-plated handle Michael had given him for Christmas. It was a good luck charm, and in a way, it was insurance. Gavin wouldn’t let them leave the room when he talked them out of it until he knew Michael was alive, and if he wasn’t...

Well, Gavin wasn’t sure. The gun had a full clip and he had an extra in his pocket just in case. But he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he found his Boi dead. He wasn’t sure if he’d kill them all or just himself.

It didn’t take him long to find the place, it was an old warehouse from LS’s factory days maybe ten blocks away from their apartment. When he entered the building he listened for any noises in the building, and followed them up a rickety metal staircase to the second floor of the building that held the offices. 

In the hall between two of the rooms were two members of the other crew and Michael, who sat prone in a chair with a bag over his head, and Gavin had a moment of horrific déja vu to another good friend he hadn’t been able to save. 

“Good afternoon gentlemen” he said lightly, shoving his fear down, his voice airy and unaffected “We got your note, I do believe that’s my friend there, if you’d be so kind to remove the bag I’d like to take him home now”

“Nice try fucker, you ain’t getting him back so easy” said one of the thugs who stood to Michael’s left, his hands were shoved in his pockets. Gavin glanced down behind mirrored sunglasses and saw the outline of a knife clutched in one hand, and decided to tread a little more carefully.

“Alright, what is it your boss would like from us in exchange? Your note was wholly unclear about the terms here, just that one of us should come here to you, alone.” 

“He wants your bratty boss and his stupid ginger bitch to get the fuck out of his city” said the second thug to Michael’s right, Gavin forced himself not to tense his jaw, that man would pay for calling lovely Jack a bitch. 

“I’m afraid I can’t really do that, anything else you’d like to work out here?”

“Well then I’m afraid you won’t be getting this little girl back then” the second thug replied, mocking Gavin’s accent. Imperceptibly to his captors, Michael tensed. Gavin however, saw this, he wasn’t sure if it was because the thug was mocking Gavin or because he had misgendered Michael, but either way it let Gavin know Michael was still alive under that sack, just pretending to be passed out. It gave Gavin all the confidence he needed to keep going.

“Oh I think you will be giving me my friend back by the end of this meeting” his voice was sharp as he spoke, his back ramrod straight now. He clasped his hands loosely behind his back “If you were smart you wouldn’t have grabbed him at all really.” 

“I think we’re a lot smarter than you’re giving us credit for, we got you here didn’t we? And we’re gonna get you to leave this fuckin city or baby girl here won’t even make it out of this warehouse.” said the first thug.

“Oh yes, very smart grabbing an unarmed boy on a dark street at night without even a go ahead from your boss to get anywhere near the Fake AH Crew, very smart indeed.” he scoffed, shoving his hands playfully into his pockets “In fact, I’m not even sure you know who you grabbed, it could have just been a random curly haired kid off the street. I’m sure your boss wouldn’t be too happy with you if he knew you might not have even gotten the right kid, I mean have you ever even seen any of us in person before this moment? Because I’ve never seen your ugly gob before.”

“You shut your fuckin whore mouth, we got the right kid, your stupid fucking boss is the only one in the city who’d keep a little girl like this around.”

“Take the bag off and we’ll see about that” 

“Why the fuck should we listen to you?” the second thug barked at him. Gavin could see their composure breaking, and knew he was winning. 

“Take off the bag and show me his face or there’ll be no deals.” Gavin’s voice had gone hard again “Prove to me you aren’t as incompetent as you seem to be.” there was a long pause after that before finally, the first thug pulled the bag off of Michael’s head.

The second it was high enough to reveal any of Michael’s face he had bit firmly down on the first thug’s wrist, catching both of his captors by surprise, the first one stumbled back, ripping his hand out of Michael’s mouth, blood streaming down along his fingers, while the other fumbled at his waist for a gun. In an instant Gavin’s pistol was in his hand and pointed directly at the second thug who still hadn’t been able to pull his from his holster. 

“I suggest you gentlemen let me and my friend walk out of here completely unharmed or neither of you will be leaving this building.” he said firmly, walking towards Michael, gun trained between the eyes of the second thug. Keeping his eye on both of Michael’s captors he fully pulled the sack from over Michael’s head to find him relatively unharmed, a cut on his head had matted the curls over his left ear to his skull, and blood from the thug he’d bitten streaked his chin and lips, but he would be okay. “You alright boi?” he asked for good measure.

“Yeah, I’m fine, be even better once we can fuckin go home” he said gruffly, wiping the blood from his lips as he stood. Gavin glanced back at the two thugs, who had backed up several paces now, both looking ready to draw a weapon. 

“You’d better keep whatever you’re thinking of grabbing in your trousers boys, it’s time for us to go” Gavin wrapped an arm lightly around Michael’s shoulders, his head cocked to the side, gun still pointed at the two across from them. “I do hope to never see your ugly mugs ever again” he gave them both an appraising look “And if I do I can tell you for a fact it’ll end with your brains on the pavement.” he gave them a smirk while Michael just laughed. He glanced back at Michael again and gave him a lopsided grin. “Shall we head home then boi? I’m pretty sure Jack got a pork roast out for dinner tonight.” 

“Sounds like fuckin heaven boi, let’s go.” they left the two thugs in their wake, both looking stunned, and walked arm in arm back out to Gavin’s ugly purple car, laughing all the way down. When they were out of the warehouse and getting in the car Gavin hugged Michael as tightly as he could.

“I thought I was gonna lose you in there boi” he said finally, clinging to Michael’s neck.

“I didn’t have a doubt in my mind you’d get me outta that. You’re my boi Gavvy and I trust you with my life. Besides, I’ve watched you swindle Geoff into one too many sparkly jewelry thing to believe for a second you couldn’t bargain me outta even the toughest spot, and god was I right.” he gave Gavin one last tight squeeze before pulling away, grinning at him “Come on, I’m sure Jack and Geoff are worried sick, and you said something about a pork roast?”

“Yeah, I do believe I did” Gavin said, returning the grin as they both got into the car. 

After that day Gavin was never scared of bargaining someone out of a tough spot, he knew that if he could get his lovely loud-mouthed, rude boi out of that first bad spot alive he could get anyone out alive.