#like he CANT or COULDNT ig
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l♡vely p♡is♡n
bonus
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#vocaloid art#vocaart#kaito vocaloid#vocaloid kaito#kamui gakupo#gakupo kamui#camui gackpo#gackpoid#chromatic aberration#purple#blue#gakukai#I GUESS? actually yeah i cant lie this is. kinda gay. and 2000s ass caption SHKJGHJKNGSKJNK#something came over me wtf and i couldnt rest until i finished drawing. gay people. im so tired i finished this at like 3am#what listening to one (1) specific song cover over and over again does to you. goddddddd.#the heights here are kinda off from my usual hcs but then again this is like. some sorta different kaito b/c hes a little fucked up so#maybe hes allowed to be shorter than usual. YEAH CAUSE idk usually these two are actually pretty normal but this kaito's just. gremlin ig#again: what listening to a specific cover over and over does to a mfer. lorddddddd help me.#scheduling this in advance by the time this is posted ill prob still be asleep lmao 😭 recovering from whatever tf possessed me to draw this
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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#character here is (yet AGAIN) reinhardt from branch-wdk53#art#ik it was said wrist cutter isnt fitting but ough the art potential#shrimply cant resist drawing blood. its so fun#enjoy the abyss!#cant really remember my reasoning for this outside of banger design; very fun to draw#but something something into the abyss#and well. points to the lack of feeling. tbh i think i overuse it with things like this but man there is so much potential in it#the dissociative disorder W as i call it#my ideas arent very defined and again wc isnt truly fitting of reinhardt#but slaps some thoughts here:#'Only when it is sliced as if one were simply cutting a mere slab of meat can they achieve this.'#'The blood is always kept in equilibrium; it never overflows. Only despair can be found in its sunken depths.'#really all of this goes back to: s/hing just to feel something#and the nothingness itself; go far down enough and you reach a void - nothing#over time and repeated attempts it gets duller as scars compile. it doesnt give you any feeling anymore. it all just becomes nothing#so hm#in genuine consideration i feel like reinhardt wouldnt s/h bc of the clear logic in the way of 'there are way better solutions than this'#but its fun to think about it ig! and plus the design goes hard i couldnt not draw it#blood on pristine white >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#......yknow every single time i draw reinhardt i have so much to say about him#no 1 blorbo of all time. hes literally in my brain now
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actually crying i swear this frame was an accident
#top 10 worst times to pause a clip#ykw accurate reactions from those two in the back honestly#and yet he continues to be adorable even when appaled can u believe it. i can because he is ithe everything#its emmet im talking abt emmet if that wasnt clear by now#tlm#the lego movie#the lego movie 2#pixie talks#emmet brickowski#what tag do ppl use for lucy#lucy wyldstyle#or is it like. just lucy#eh#im kinda hoping ppl dont find this anyway HFJGDK#damn pixie ur into both sth and tlm at the same time pick a struggle#i lost like 3 followers over posting tlm stuff this is so funny to me#i still have like 900 from the olden days i honest to god couldnt care less#i will be remaining cringe actually#esp since hes like the one part of these i care abt oops#if i cant control a character-specific hyperfix yall will just have to suffer with me ig
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so now im sure she is the one who has been sending me anon hate about me being ugly.... 💀
#she said things like oh i would never send anon hate to anyone!!!#but ig ppl just say anything and then do it anyway 💀#ppl will just lie and pretend to be your friend to then use your insecurities against u#if she acted like a grown up and talked to me i wouldve listened#but that wouldve required her to listen to me tooand not just judge me#and ig she couldnt do that#so she took the easy route#like if i explained to her that yeah i felt abandoned by u bc u just stopped talking to me as soon as u got a bf#and then i kept talking to that guy bc of these reasons where i wanted to see if i could pick up on signs#bc being abused by my bf is one of my biggest fears i have#and she wouldve said iget that but i still feel uncomfortable. then i couldve listened to hger and decided if i wanted to keep making her#uncomfortable and hurt her or just stop. but she didnt say anything or try to communicate or listen#and now to see what a fucking shallow narrow minded view she has#is frustrating bc she hadnt even tried to talk or understand or communicate or explain her side#which is like ok that sucks but whatever i will just let it go#but then she keeps sending me hate abt what i confided to her abt and talk shit abt me and it is like#can u just let it go#just stop everything. lets just pretend we have never known eo or talked at all#anyway ig i dont wanna be friend w a woman who invalidates founded fears#like shes just the kind of woman who would tell her friends that#oh yeah your bf hit u just bc he loves u stop complaining!!#so ig this is good either way but like. ig she just assumes i was flirting behind her back#bc she cant comprehend a woman only being friendly with a guy#and like i didnt keep telling that guy im already in love w someone lmao 💀💀#gosh...disappointing. people are so disappointing#and childish and shallow and narrow minded. yikes
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years ago I made this like species of magical cats with antlers bc i wanted to make smth like warrior cats and my little pony
anyway this is aurora starstep and moonboy (just moonboy) aurora is a priest but fake (his antlers arent real & he has no magical/spiritual ability) and moonboy is obsessed w the moon princess but she's (believed to be) dead so he goes to priests to try and speak to her. hence the name. miraculously aurora has been the only one so far who can reach her 🤔
#smudgy.png#oc posting#original species#oc: aurora#oc: moonboy#i love thesetwo so much. my little skrunklies#initially moony visits aurora for moon related stuff but eventually he finds he just rly likes aurora!#ig sad wet guys is his type#aurora also likes moonboy bc hes so sweet and fun & feels bad for lying to him#but he cant Stop bc its what hes been taught to do since birth basically#to make a long story short he has A Lot of pressure on him bc hes from a family of cats with a special gift for speaking to spirits#but he was born without the power & his parents couldnt take that so they have him pretend#anyway#theyre more fossa than cat rly but i just like calling them antler cats lol
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i cant see relationship posts on this site i start seething and coping
#my ex couldnt even have a phone call with me for like 2 years#bcus he 'didnt have the energy'#but he could help his irl friends move and do things with them ig !#but yeah dude just keeping lying abt how u care abt me i guess#i feel really dumb for believing the whole 'i want to spend time with u i just cant right now' for like years straight but what can u do#ALSO!!! IM LITERALLY THE LEAST MAITNENCE RELATIONSHIP POSSIBLE literally all i want is to talk to u and then like watch a movie sometimes#i just wanna hang out..thtsit#PIPE BOMB!!! TO UR HOUSE!!! NOW!!!
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idk if this travelled much into tumblr yet or not but i probably wont be talking abt anything to do w wilbur anymore :')
takin it hard ngl cuz ive loved that guys songs and content as well as the whole sbi dynamic for four years now but what can you do
#discourse#<- ???#ik its *technically* not confirmed but ive watched shubble for a while too and i really dont think shed#let an innocent uninvolved person take the fall for something they never did and would tell ppl to stop but she didnt#she said 'id name him if i could but i cant' and i think thats my confirmation#though id already believed it was him (while hoping it wasnt) cuz everything lined up so perfectly it was just the nail in the coffin for m#not to mention an ex lvjy photographer saying 'its exactly who you think it is' and the ex trumpeter saying she was bit by a man too......#like youre seeing this right. wilburs always been kinda open abt the fact that hes hurt people/used to be a bad person ig we just didnt#know that that behavior was still around to present day 💀hope he gets better and changes but. yeah idk !#oop update it got worse its confirmed lwky fuck everyone who was going around spreading misinformation with “dont speculate”#which shelby literally did not say and said multiple times that she was sharing her story because she believed he was still dangerous#and that she wanted to name him but couldnt like...idk
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nevermind yall. forget ALL my criticisms. this movie got vince staples in cute lil shorts??
T E I N !! (10) Keith Lee declaration of glee with the hands in the air !!
why are they the only ones all flared like that lol it's so cute <3 n his pretty shoes too omg!! babygirl!!
#his character was called speedy lmfao#tbh he does look like a speedy#i cant believe they made him a snowhare hunter tho omg HE WOULD NEVER!!!!!#altho he Is from cali....... cough. pg. cough#BUT HE'D NEVER!!!!!@@@!!#he Is into moms tho..#which is odd since he is a mom himself (personality-wise)#i digress tho i digress#why is allen standing like that..#the second photo 😭😭#me n my neurodivergent gang#LMFAO#the powerpuff girls: autism anxiety w/anger issues defense and add#i cropped out harlow idk why#just inexplicable hatred ig#he can have autism too if he wants i suppose#i can make these kinda jokes if u couldnt already tell from me being on tumblr btw#incase u were wondering#anyways vince looks so <33 bbg here#WHY DID THEY HAVE HIM SCREEN LIKE EVERY FUCKIN PLAY??? he is two cm and sleeps in a flower in a meadow#HE IS THE SHORTEST ON THE TEAM AND THEY HAD HIM SCREENING G I A N T S!!!#bbg and his weird lil sonic shoes did NOT deserve that#it was a cute movie tho. some quick ass.. tiktok skitass friendship resolutions tho 😭 and fights#' YOU MADE ME A MEME ' WHAT??? LMAO#they all shouldve kissed. my onion#my FINAL onion !!
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i love hiwatari n the hikari sm my ass struggles so hard to hate them which is fine for daisuke but bad for dark bc dark in the beginning absolutely did hate them. has hated them. it's only daisuke who flips the entire family dynamic, who meets satoshi as much as satoshi is willing to meet daisuke and cure their family curses together, but as far as dark was ever concerned, 'satoshi' was (initially) the same as krad: someone obsessive, possessive, someone out to solely capture and potentially destroy him first, who had nothing else in their life despite lineage and plausible skill as an artist, someone who 'valued' but did not once ever actually love the things that dark stole. fr if it had been dark alone against krad and satoshi['s body,] satoshi would've been straight up Dead by now, because dark's is 2000 yrs of subdued misanthropy for the hikari and humans alike, and ofc throw in his own confusion over his birth and his decisive betrayal following his capture, release, and manisumea's destruction. its the paradise lost 'heaven is empty and kept only by a heartless tyrant' bit that daisuke dissolves and reaches out across by his compassion, aka what dark could Never.
#*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀��𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#i would not classify dark as a hater. he truly truly truly so so so so easily COULD be a megahater#but hes not. but he did hate the hikari bigtime. and he couldnt separate sato from krad in his opinion#but it does shift. does change#thanks to dai not letting dark annihilate sato ig GHHFBDFJGJF#me whenever i have 2 write dark hating the hikari: but they're so funky.... all fo them r like... glass bones n paper skin....#i cant hate that.... its mean..... dai vc
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Got news my cousin's? (Not 1st cousin but i think my fam refer to her as my cousin), yeah my cousin's mom is in really bad condition health wise
Like, idk who in the family is bringing her back from mexico city to my family's hometown for her last moments. Not even last days. My mom says she's in bad condition and who knows when she's going to pass. :(
#papuka rambles#and lowkey i feel bad bc i dont remember my cousin and her moms faces much less the mother's brother#bc my mom told me i met him when he was here.#and so i feel bad for feeling so detached#like yeah that sucks and i do hope she makes it home so she can be surrounded by family and loved ones.#i think my grandma went tl her house to wait for her to arrive and to say her goodbyes#literally cant remember if lady(ig my aunt but my mom doesnt refer to her as my aunt) was sick with something#my mom just said but the phone was being weird so i couldnt hear
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nacho varga should have been a woman
#i am#it is#burning in my brain#its an itch i cant scratch#he should have been a woman#literally nothing#nothing would have changed#it would have been the same#but ig vince gilligan couldnt do that#bravo vince more like nah-vo vince#nacho varga
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Safe with me by daddy and the love songs is the ultimate love song I got a few certain someone's out there rn I'd love to learn to play it for
#i doubt theyd ever reciprocate but yknow doesnt stop yhat yearning#god im polyamourus and bi and yet i cannot keep a single bitch#like cmon please please anyone who likes me theres a 99.9% chance i like you back PLEASE ask me out#i cant do it im too nervous AANXJXJKZKX#anyways yeah i got that crush on bitches so so so far away swag#EVEN THO PNE OF THEM IS STILL IN MY CITY HES TOO FAR#THE OTHER IS LIKE. SO FAR I COULDNT SEE THEM WITHOUT A PLANE#LIKE PHYSICALLY#EVER.#IM SO SAD ABOUT IT BUT THEYRE SO FUNNY AND SWEET AND GODDDDD#he sent like 2 photos of himself once and i was LOSING IT.#HES SO PRETTY#holt shit okay no more gay for me okay im good now#my post#vent tags#kinda#ig
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Today at trivia: learned a baby hedgehog is called a hoglet. You've many hedgehog themed shenanigans here and I thought you'd like to know if you didn't already 💕
YEAAAHHHH LIL HOGLETS !!!!!! an UPMOST important fact to know...
#snap chats#class ended early since we were just introducing ourselves but i still managed to have the most annoying night oh my god#first my professor accidentally shook my bad hand and i didnt tell him it was A Bad Hand#people usually tell me i have a really good handshake but now my handshake look AWFUL like im sorry prof my hand has cysts in it#awful first impression and those are big to me..#it gets worse though cause i went to get eggs and detergent and my card declined For Some Reason???#the only strange thing i did lately was get gas LMAO I DONT ??? UNDERSTAND.#i mean i got my shit with another card i have but i didnt get the receipt the first time since i thought it was in the bag#but no it gets worse cause i cant even get into my dorm building cause for some reason my id card just. does not open that door#IT OPENS MY DORM ROOM BUT NOT THE BUILDING DOOR and then i couldnt find the housing department room#so i have to email them tonight. to fix my stupid card ig.#but no so i ran back out to ask the clerk if he still had my receipt and He Didnt. Fair Nuff so he just gave me a rough estimate#which is SOOO fun so heres to hoping i didnt underpay my credit card. overpay Ill Live itll prob just be a few cents more#AND THEN I HAD TO DO THE AWKWARD THING WHERE I SIGNAL TO THE DESK CLERK TO LET ME IN. AGAIN#but yeah... AND THEN I HAVE CLASS AT 8AM on god i might just skip since i want to drop the class anyway#but thats also MAD disrespectful.. ill just hope class ends early idk..#so yeah. terrible night. it WILL get worse.#maybe ill make eggs.... not like i can buy food. i mean i CAN but ugh i hate doing credit card payment that shit so extra#and to top it off as i was leaving the store Again some mate was liek 'excuse me sir- oh im sorry excuse me ma'am'#MY GUY I AM WEARING A SUIT AND A FACE MASK AND I HAVE SHORT HAIR STYLED LIKE A DEBATE CLUB MEMBER#YOU WERE RIGHT THE FIRST TIME I PROMISE LMAO kms. fr.#ok im done ranting SORRY. thank you for the reminder baby hedgehogs got cute as hell names..#im gonna try to think of old people to feel better...
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Agghhhhg
#my coworker that ive been paired with is such a dungbrained cud-chewing IDIOT!!!#how have you been on this job for more than a year and barely be able to tell very clearly different stratigraphic units apart??#and when i call over our boss to show that weve found or the change in unit hes just like yeah uhu i could see that#no you couldnt? you couldnt tell.a football from an egg dumbass#all the other vets that have known him for long also cant stand him#aside from being bad hes also apparently a tattle tale and a suck up#plus hes had like 20+ sick leaves in a year and not all approved!! and most of them conveniently on fridays!!#and then he posts himself going on holidays and shit on ig like 🙄🙄🙄🙄
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need to sleep but the Dread is consuming me
#i just feel like smth bad is going to happen tonight. but also i feel like this p often on random nights where nothing bad happens so.#it could be bc i had caffeine this morning and its still fucking with my. brain#or more likely its bc im back on the overnight call list for work starting tonight and continuing the rest of the time i have this job#being able to not be on it while i was on vacation was so nice like i could actually sleep#still couldnt sleep through the night but at least when i did wake up it didnt take me an hour to fall back to sleep#generally when i feel this much dread on a night i can get work calls its bc theres going to be a call sometime between 3 and 6am that nigh#hopefully there wont be but ik this dread and anxietys gonna fuck up my sleep regardless so whatever#i dont really want to move to nyc but if i get this job offer i think i just need to bc this job is fucking me up so bad#if it wasnt for this fucking on call thing itd be tolerable but i just can't handle the on call thing#the fear that ill get a call and not know how to solve the problem and have to call my boss or coworker to help is killing me#ik its stupid but i have really bad anxiety around waking ppl up and asking ppl for help and calling ppl so#perfect combination to make me Suffer ig#and i did try talking to my boss about it and told him it was the reason i was unhappy on the team#and he essentially said i just need to be better at my job so we get less calls and that being on call is essential and unavoidable#if i dont get the nyc job i might need to just quit anyway which i know is pathetic but i just cant handle this on top of the other things#like i cant have no friends and a useless therapist and meds that dont work and no sense of self and a million other things#and then on top of that a job that makes it so i cant even sleep which is the one thing ive always been okay at and not had problems with#i know its so silly and i know i need to be grateful this job pays me well and shut up#i just am so miserable and i need to be able to sleep like i need that one thing please#sorry for being ridiculous and insane i know its stupid to be this upset over this#sorry dkdkjd sorry about all this i genuinely cant believe anyone still follows me when i post this bullshit#hopefully its fairly easy to ignore and everyones just not expanding the tags so im just screaming into the void#cant tell if i really want no one to see this or if im putting it all here all the time so i can pretend someone is reading it and cares#idk im just so tired and so sad and so scared all the fucking time and i think i just dont want to always be alone in it idk#and i know my problems arent real or serious or bad but unfortunately im pathetic and spoiled and theyre destroying me anyway
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