#what listening to one (1) specific song cover over and over again does to you. goddddddd.

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

l♡vely p♡is♡n

bonus

[dwaekkicidal]

𓆩Mochi Boyfriend Channie𓆪

gn!reader | he was top of the poll :3 Lix's will be posted tomorrow and then I will only make more if somebody requests other member versions <3

Mochi Channie who introduces you to the boys pretty early on, mainly because they begged to meet their new parent but also because they are his whole life, so it's important to him that you all get along. Their opinion is important to him so when they all approve of you instantly (and you handle them well), he’s through the roof

Mochi Channie who is shy about skinship, especially in front of the others, but will tank through it just to see the smile and blush covering your face (as if his ears aren't bright red)

Mochi Channie who encourages you to allow him to spoil you and eases you into it with smaller things like buying you small snacks, then ordering your favorite food after you’ve had a long day and showing up unannounced with it and your favorite treats, then finally will ease you into accepting brand name jewelry/clothes or any gifts that are generally expensive/valuable

Mochi Channie who puts everything (that he can) on pause to answer your texts and calls, even cutting himself off mid sentence when he sees your contact show up with a distressed message

Mochi Channie who calls you every morning and night when he's on tour, even when he's exhausted and doesn't want to do any talking. He'll sit there and listen to you talk about your day and falls asleep to the sound of your voice and the comfort of seeing you beside him once again

Mochi Channie who gives you secret sneak peeks into their latest endeavors, 1. so you know what he is doing at all times and 2. so he can see your eyes sparkle at events you find particularly interesting

Mochi Channie who gives you sneak peaks into songs like he did in Chan's room, only giving you a second or so of noise and then being a tease and leaving you hanging

Mochi Channie who, if you puppy dog eye him at a particular demo that sounds interesting, literally can not resist you and will show you as much of the song as you want/as he is comfortable with

Mochi Channie who, over time, opens up more and will eventually start taking your compliments to heart (Christopher you WILL love urself. 🔫<3)

Mochi Channie who is a fast learner: memorizes every little thing about you within a week of figuring out. New favorite food or drink? Knows the exact order and your preferred store of purchase. New favorite song or movie? Always plays it whenever he can.

Mochi Channie who indirectly asks stay for opinions on gifts for you. Goes on Bubble to send a picture of some items and a message along the lines of "Which do you want? haha." he reads through the replies and tallies them, using the final count to make a decision

Mochi Channie who may be inexperienced at first, but again is a very fast learner. So much so that by the 3rd or 4th time you guys are having sex, he knows your body to the same degree as, if not better, than you

Mochi Channie who has every spot that makes you squirm, every angle that makes you cry out, and every kink that makes your legs weak engrained in his head

Mochi Channie who won’t hesitate to fulfill your needs of him being rougher. also not hesitating to sit you down to discuss specifics and put rules in space

Mochi Channie who researches new positions, trying the most interesting out in order to figure out which one feels the best and has you shaking the fastest

Mochi Channie who gives you whiplash the first time he's rough with you. He wine and dines you while being his usual soft and lovey dovey self.. until he's not

Daddy Chris who pins you to the front door the second it's closed, pushing his thick lips against yours in a sloppy make out session

Daddy Chris who spends over an hour on just foreplay (mainly edging hehe), wanting things to be perfect and wanting you to be as relaxed as possible before he loses control

Daddy Chris who eases himself into you gently, like he normally does, but gives you whiplash when he starts to fuck into you meanly

Daddy Chris who "You asked for it, so just fucking take it. You promised you would be good for me, remember baby?"

Daddy Chris who does nothing but smirk and thrust harder when you cry out about how good he feels and how close you are despite the fact that he just started fucking into you

Daddy Chris who likes to put you in doggy so he can sneak a hand in your hair to pull you back-to-chest with him, giving him free rein to whisper filthy things in your ear while keeping you close

Daddy Chris who goes back and forth with his words. One second telling you things like how “You’re doing so good for me, baby. Taking me so well” and the next second saying things like “Aww it's too much? Good. Take this fucking dick, baby. It's made just for you."

Daddy Chris who pulls as many orgasms from you as he can before he's finished, sweet talking you through every. single. one. so he can watch you squirm below him with the biggest smirk on his face

Daddy Chris who only ends the night after you're overstimulated out your mind, tears running down your face and drool sliding down your chin

Daddy Chris who cleans you up, pressing sweet kisses to your temple and whispering soothing words to calm you down. He holds you close in the shower and at first just lets the hot water fall onto your skin before he washes you both

Mochi Channie who goes on like normal the next day, as if he didn't fuck you within an inch of your life the night before

Mochi Channie who still gets red in the face when you two show any skinship in front of the boys, but is more confident now that he realizes how deep in you both are <3

[fallinforerling]

LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. PART 6 - jb

A/N: I enjoyed SO much writing this, you have no idea. I hope all you love it was much as I did. See you next update! Also, I strongly recommed to listen to the song right when I marked it :) Makes it all better. AND, this is the last part without Jude in it, so prepare!

ೃ⁀➷ part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11

ೃ⁀➷ series/jude's taglist : ̗̀➛ my other taglists

: ̗̀➛ REQUESTS ARE OPEN !

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ˛ * 。° 。 •˚.・。.・゜✭・.⋆·˚ ༘ .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・

“You can't keep going like this, honey” Mia said after you calmed down and allowed yourself to tell the whole phone call at your pace. “You need to get out of this city for a couple of days, clear your mind, go no phone and then come back to your normal life.”

 “Mia's right. I haven't seen you this stressed and emotionally drained... ever. This isn't you. I won't allow one of my best friends to lose herself to a breakup.” Nikki said, giving you your second cup of tea of the morning.

“I know...” You didn't have the energy to think about anything else other than how much your life had changed in so little time. “But where can I go? What you guys have in mind sounds like a spiritual retirement.”

“Well... I know someone who owns a very nice cabin in Scotland...” Nikki shrugged when both you and Mia raised your eyebrows, questioning once again what was that about. “I make a lot of friends, okay?”

“We know” Mia shortly laughed, directing her full attention back to you. “So, what do you say? Does a week in Scotland sound like a bad or a good idea?”

“At this point?” You said, pointing at yourself: you had a cover over your shoulders, a cup of tea in your hands, and a puffy face thanks to all the crying. “Anything is better than this”

“You drink that, I'll make some calls” At this point, Nikki's phone seemed to have all the wonders of the world inside of it.

“One day, I'll be able to figure out how she does all of this,” Mia whispered, grabbing your cup. “Do you want something to eat?”

“Soup?” Besides the anger and sadness that came back with force, the three of you were still hungover. You felt like your head was about to explode from all the pressure.

“You got it”

While she was in the kitchen and Nikki was out on the balcony doing who knows what, you allowed yourself to go back to your room. Your phone was now charging on the night stand. Better to keep ignoring it.

The room was still messy, and even though you really wanted to go back to bed, cleaning seemed like a better option to keep your mind occupied.

The clothes were all dirty so you instantly dropped them inside your basket, reminding yourself to wash them later. Then you made sure all of the other things were at their place before making the bed. The bathroom was the nastiest part (lots of makeup wipes, cotton pads full of micellar water and a wet sink) but you cleaned it all faster than expected.

When you came back to the bedroom, you noticed your phone was buzzing again. It sure wasn't IG, since you silenced it. You came closer, relieved and concerned when you saw Jobe's name on the screen.

“Please God, some peace...” You said before picking up. “Hey?”

“Hey! Uh, I don't want to be, like, intrusive or anything but... Do you know what's going on with Jude?"

“Uhm... Be more specific.” Because you could think of a hundred+ things going on with that man right now.

“He's throwing a tantrum… I mean, not like a toddler type of tantrum, but he's fuming! He asked me for my phone and didn't want to say what for. I said no, of course, and then he got even worse. He's saying something about needing some way to communicate…” His voice became a whisper. “Would I be wrong assuming that is definitely something about you?”

You let out a sigh, feeling drained. Again.

“Yeah, it's about me” You sat on your vanity, rubbing your eyes. “Look, I went out yesterday with some friends and I happened to run into Gio… We took a photo and then some stupid people filmed us dancing. It went a bit viral, I think. I don't really know. Jude saw it and called me all morning until I picked up after waking up. He was asking me why I was with Gio and why I didn't tell him”

“That's insane, mate. What the fuck, he has no right to do that”

“I know! Well, he was calling to question me. It seems like some people are assuming that I'm Gio's girlfriend. I don't know if it's about his man ego getting hurt by me being mistaken for his teammate's girl or what, but I don't want to know anything else about it. So I blocked him.”

“Well, fuck me! His audacity has me speechless…”

“I don't want this to turn into a big thing. Just... Let him throw his little tantrum, he's going back to Dortmund in a few days anyways. He has to forget about it”

“You sound like the one that broke up with him, that's so funny” He laughed quietly, probably not wanting to call the attention of his brother. “Okay, I'll try to keep him on track”

“Thanks... And, Jobe?” You said, feeling more than grateful for having him.

“Yeah?”

“I won't have my phone this week, so don't get worried if you don't hear from me, okay?”

“Okay… Uh, I know this is stupid to ask, but are you still coming to my match? I'll understand if you don't. It's completely understandable with all that's happening”

A part of you wanted to say no, but it was Jobe. It wasn't fair to do that to him. Maybe Jude wasn't going to attend. You were praying for that.

“Of course I'll go. I promised you, and you know how much I want to see you play”

“Thank you” You could tell he was happy about you saying yes. “Talk to you in a week, then?”

“One hundred percent”

After the call ended, you just sat there. Jobe was like your little brother, and maybe his actual brother was the biggest asshole you'd ever known, but that didn't mean you were about to run away from everything that had to do with him.

You weren't a coward. Hopefully.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

song recommendation: cardigan - taylor swift

Leaving your phone at the bottom of your bag and not paying any attention to it was easier than expected. Nikki managed to book flights to Glasgow that same night, and while they were gone to make their bags, you stayed to clean up a little bit more the whole apartment. You were leaving for a week. You noticed that it was the first time that you did your bags in months where your destiny wasn’t Dortmund. 

You grabbed comfy clothes, your laptop and tablet (you still worked from home), and some shower products. Most of your skincare was in the bathroom, but some were in the vanity. While looking for some travel-sized ones, you stumbled across a particular box in the bottom drawer. 

It was blue, medium-sized and simple. Your hand flew directly to your neck, where a necklace rested comfortably. The jade stone was cold, as cold as you felt. You didn’t even realized you were still wearing it, but of course, you never took it off since the day it was gifted to you.

Since Jude gifted it to you. 

You thought about taking it off, but you stopped mid-way. You didn’t feel ready to do something like that just yet. That necklace alone meant so much to you. 

The way he gave it to you wasn’t absurdly romantic, but rather sweet. It was familiar. You were laying in bed, just looking at each other; then he got up and grabbed the little box from his closet. He said he saw it and immediately thought of you; of how well it went with your skin tone and than he was sorry for not giving it to you in a more romantic way. You loved it from the moment you saw it. You used to feel so happy when you remembered it was hanging from your neck.

Now all you feel is a deeply nostalgic feeling that makes the skin around the pendant burn.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Nikki's friend was kind enough to lend you a beautiful cabin in the woods for the week. He (or she, you weren't even sure of their gender) even sent a butler to pick you up from the airport and drive you around town so you could buy groceries. The drive to the cabin, he said, was almost two hours, but the whole scenario- the woods, the lake, the little animals running around- made it easier for all of you to not care about that. It was perfect.

The cabin was even better. It wasn’t exaggeratedly large, so you wouldn’t be bumping into each other the entire time but neither separated if didn't want to, which was good. You needed the space to think and heal alone, even if you loved the company of your friends. 

The first two days were just you hanging around the house, making food, taking walks around the woods- Mia even discovered a tiny lake near the cabin, and lots of bonfires. It felt therapeutic to not know what was going on in the real world outside that cabin surrounded by kilometers of trees. 

You don’t remember the last time you enjoyed nature and being (partially) alone this much. You also spent a lot of time alone in the woods or by the lake; you allowed yourself to cry, to mourn Jude, to blame him and then forgiving him. You didn’t forgave him for how much you were suffering the breakup, not just yet, that was still fresh. But you forgave him for breaking up with you, he had all the right to that. 

You remembered all the good times you had together, the bad ones, the regular ones. It was a normal relationship even if you didn’t get to post his face on your social media, or if your dates had to be more private than normal people were used to. You loved him. You still did, even if you hated the idea of being weak because of your love. 

And then, after all those days that you used to go through all the stages of a breakup, something you didn’t allow yourself to do the past three weeks, you were ready to let him go. To accept that your boyfriend, the one that loved you and appeared to be your soulmate, died the night he broked your heart. And that was okay. 

So on the last afternoon before the butler came back for the three of you, you took a final walk through the woods and into the lake, and like physically detaching Jude from your heart, you took off the necklace and throwed it into the water.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ * TAGLIST

@mentalbaddie | @taintedstranger | @mrs-dasilvasantoss @mbapbaesluvr | @erensfavgirly | @cinderellawithashoe @yoitsmo07

[darkmxgician]

Said & Done- Part 1

After meeting an alluring stranger you fall fast, not realising that he’s about to pull you back in to the dangerous world you’ve tried so hard to escape from.

pairing: fem!reader x noah. tags: swearing, just fluff here

word count: 1.6k

story song: burning out

taglist: @sorrowsofsilence @angelsdevils @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @montgomery-929496. lmk if you want to be added to the taglist

18+ below the cut

I wake up covered in sweat. The last embers of my nightmare tugging me into a sense of fear and dread. I couldn’t tell what was real and my fight or flight started to kick in. Adrenaline began to course through my body, making me aware of every shadow in my dark bedroom. Sleep definitely wasn’t going to come to me again anytime soon, so I pulled myself out of bed and changed into my gym clothes. Rushing to get away from the silence of my home. Stepping out into the cool night air was blissful on my sweat soaked skin and I savoured it whilst I walked to my car. The streets were quiet during the drive, my ancient car stereo playing the mixtape I had in earlier, I’d listened to it so many times it just faded into the background. Thankfully the gym is always empty at 3am, I chose this specific gym for that reason, even though it’s further from my house. I had already gotten a workout in today, but the dreams that haunt me always leave me feeling restless, with a need to purge some of the energy from my system. I use my keycard to get in as reception is closed, I usually make a beeline for the weights and then follow that with a quick run on the treadmill, but tonight feels different. I need to hit something, so I make my way up the stairs, the rooms above the main floor have various equipment, and I head straight for the one with the punching bags. 

I push open the double doors and stop in my tracks. I’ve never come across anyone else here at this time before, but my luck has just run out. And it’s not just anyone, it’s the tall dark stranger who has been watching me since I started coming here over a year ago. Give by sleep token is blasting from a speaker as he does push ups with one arm behind his back. He looks up at me, through his sweat drenched hair that shields the full force of his beauty. He stops and slowly, gracefully pushes himself up so he’s kneeling, his depthless brown eyes locked on me, assessing me. My mouth goes dry, I’ve never seen him this close before, I can’t help but study the tattoos that adorn his shoulders, arms, his bare chest, and even his neck. He continues to look at me, panting from his workout that I interrupted. My palms start to sweat, “s-sorry, there’s never usually anyone in here at this time” I stammer, as he raises a brow at my accent. The stranger stands in one smooth motion, and covers the space between us in two steps. Suddenly he’s towering over me, his large frame seems to suck all the light out of the room and I take a shaky breath and look up. He cocks his head to one side, his wet hair following the movement, “don’t you usually workout during the day?”. His American accent was rich and deep, I could feel the bass from his voice in my very bones. I stopped shying away from his stare and looked up, “I-I couldn’t sleep. I need to burn off some, energy, before I can even attempt it again”, cursing myself for stuttering I manage to keep my eyes on his, the intensity of his gaze making my stomach do backflips, I couldn’t help but smile at the stranger. And when he smiled back, I knew I was done for. 

“I’m Noah”, he smiles down at me, “y/n” I reply. I’m having to stop myself from grinning, I’ve never felt this connected to someone I just met before. I could feel my cheeks starting to go red, I have to force myself to look away so he doesn’t notice. “You like sleep token?”, I nod to the speaker in the corner, listening to the intro to gods, at least I didn’t stutter again. I have to try and find neutral ground with the stranger. I need to know him, I feel drawn to him, like there’s a thread between our two bodies, pulling me in. I dare to look up when he doesn’t answer, and he’s just staring at me, his smile keeps getting brighter, his eyes almost glowing. I’ve been in here for all of five minutes and I’m losing it over a complete stranger, what is wrong with me? He reaches out and pushes my hair behind my ear, bringing his hand under my chin and forcing me to look up. “I thought you were beautiful from afar, y/n, but up close I can’t help but stare. You’re captivating”. We’re stood so close, his touch sending electric currents through my entire body. I lose every thought in my head. It’s not just physical attraction, and trust me, that’s there. If any other man had just said to that to me, I’d laugh in their face. Why did it make me want to swoon when he says it? I can’t help but lean into his touch, his hands are calloused, his fingers stroking my skin, so smooth in comparison. My eyes flutter shut at his caress and I almost purr, putting a hand on his chest for balance as I force my eyes open again. The music goes off and is replaced by a ringtone, interrupting our embrace. “Fuck”. Noah rests his forehand on mine for a moment, and he’s gone, sighing as he releases me. He stalks over to the speaker, grabbing his phone, “yeah. I told you, I’m at the gym. I can’t right now. For fuck sake, Nick. Yeah. I’ll be 10 minutes”. I realise I was watching and listening to his private conversion so I quickly pull my phone up. Opening the settings app so it looks like I’m scrolling and texting. “I have to go”, he makes his way back over to me and scoops by chin up again, more forceful this time. “I’ve wanted to meet you for a while y/n, and I believe something wanted us to cross paths tonight”, he takes a deep breath, “meet me here, same time tomorrow?”. I blink in shock, he wants to see me again? I try not to make a habit of coming to the gym at this time, but seeing him is all the motivation I need. “Okay, sure”, I smile up at him. “Good girl”, he replies, so quietly I almost miss it. I almost go slack. “Until tomorrow, y/n”, he places a light kiss on my forehead, grabs his belongings, and stalks out of the gym. What the fuck just happened?

The next day goes by agonisingly slow, I can’t concentrate on a thing. I keep checking my phone, even knowing in the blazing sunlight that it’s not 3am yet. I try to distract myself and keep busy, working on some unfinished paintings, reading, none of it works. I give in and go to my room, hoping to use sleep to carry me towards my time with Noah. 

I wake with a start, the alarm on my phone blaring next to me. 1AM. I gave myself enough time to make a little effort, working my hair into plaits and tying the ends in twin buns at the base of my skull. I curl my eyelashes and dab a small amount of concealer under my eyes, and rub in some lip liner and gloss on my lips. The time is passing too fast now, I put on my workout clothes and rush out to my car, feeling both nervous and excited.

The gym is quiet as usual, I presume Noah wants to meet in the workout room upstairs, so I make my way up. I try to slow my pace as I walk through the double doors, where 24 hours ago I met the strange man that has my heart racing. He’s sat cross legged on one of the mats on the floor, my eyes instantly find his as he looks up. “Y/n, you came”, my stomach does a flip at the sight of him, like my body forgot how beautiful he is, what he makes me feel. He strides over to me and pulls me into his arms, “I didn’t think you’d show”. I melt into him. Like I could just stay home, I’ve always been curious, and he’s alluring and mysterious, nothing could keep me from him. “I did tell you I would”, he chuckles at that and pulls back so he can look at me. All my nerves from last night have vanished, I feel confident enough to ask, “so why did you want me to come?”. My intrigue always getting the better of me. “I wanted to see you again, I thought maybe we could workout together?”. I raise my eyebrows at him. “Not like that” he chuckles again, “I’m not hitting on you, I just thought we could get to know each other whilst we train, I could use the company”. He looks sheepish at the omission. He wants me to train with him? He’s twice the size of me, both in height and width. How could I ever keep up? “I’d like that, but why me? Surely there’s plenty of guys here who could help you, who are more equipped than me”. I feel nervous again all of a sudden, I'm physically fit but there's no way I could be on the same level as him. My thoughts race, until he smirks at me, his eyes sweeping down my body, “but none who look like you, y/n”. And he grins again, as irresistible as last night. Who could say no to that? 

And so we begin. 

[sminiac]

hey!!

four days ago it was my 5 month being a roady and yechan is my bias since day 1 as a roady, could i request a bf!yechan headcanons?

remember to eat and to drink water !! 💜

💌 — I apologize for how late this is but 5 MONTHS!!! Love that for you bestie, of course you can <3

Bf!Yechan who always has to have proof of your existence on him one way or another. The type to spray your signature fragrance all over his clothes before he leaves- like, douses himself in it so the scent will stick longer. He generally likes the scent, but it also helps him fall asleep faster which is why he’s always asking for “just one more.” And If he happens to be wearing a hoodie be prepared to receive a plethora of pictures from the boys of him sleeping with the neck part pulled up to cover his nose :,)

Ex: Get him a candle a candle with the same notes as your fragrance and he’s gonna be sleeping gooood. Same with the actual fragrance, if you buy him the same scent he’d layer it over his usual, also likes spraying it on his pillow/blanket because then it feels like you’re really there with him :,)

Bf!Yechan who was the type to be affectionate with you even before things were official but only in a teasing manner because he was scared of everything suddenly coming to a stop once he confessed, and he’d rather have you platonically than not at all. Always putting in the effort to sit beside you, even if he had to physically drag someone out of their seat, holding your hand, arm around your shoulders if you were walking somewhere, pulling your legs to rest over his thighs. Feel like he’d try so hard to brush it off when his members became a little suspicious, like he didn’t have a huge, absolutely massive crush on you, but the amount of times a “Where’s Y/n?” was casually dropped it was kinda, sorta obvious.

Ex: suddenly he would barely touch you once you’re officially together without becoming incredibly nervous, so stiff and uncertain of himself, constantly asking: “Is this okay?” and he’s literally just laying his head on your shoulder? He’s so silly, just wants everything to be right with you. Once he’s past breaking that invisible barrier it’s hard to get him off, sweet koala boy😞

Bf!Yechan would absolutely curate a very intricately crafted playlist for you, listening along with you throughout the whole duration of it as if he hadn’t already spent so many hours editing it that he could recite the track titles with ease. Drops little fun facts about certain songs and as to why he specifically added them, and they’re such personalized picks, it’s either added for the lyrics or it’s a song the both of you like, or one he remembers from a certain moment with you.

Ex: he’d also make one for you with songs he likes atm/what he thinks you’d like :,) is always: “Baby we should listen to our playlist!”

Bf!Yechan who so blindly follows anything you say that if you were to request of him to leave and come back with a members shoe he’s doing just that 😭 no but he’s so sweet, if you forget to grab your jacket on the way out and quickly asking of him to go back and grab it for you he’s scurrying off, knowing there’ll be a kiss in return, does anything if it means that he’s being compensated with your affection, it’s so serious to a point that his members use it against it him.

Ex: specifically during practice, he’s feeling a little sluggish from the sheer amount of energy being used in their choreo being run again for what feels like the 1000th time and he just wants to lay down or goof off? He can’t, because Minjae- being the leader he is, implements a rule as to keep him in check, constantly reminding him: “You can see Y/n after we go through this one more time, so you better focus.” And suddenly he’s locked in, Minjae swears you and the promise of food after is the only thing keeping him standing, but it also pushes Yechan to want to do better knowing you’re watching, just wants to impress you!

Bf!Yechan who cares about you so much that he’s willing to make any love language one of his own!!

Words of affirmation? He’d do it without even knowing and it always leaves you: 🥹 because it’s such a normal thing to him, rolls right off the tongue. He’d be such a good comforter when it comes to his partner, works on reading the room specifically for you because he’d never want to make your feelings seem insignificant to him, is so good at verbalizing that too :,)

Acts of service? “What do I get in return?” Is his answer 99.9% of the time when you ask him to do something, and as I previously mentioned, that 1% is him already fully expectant of receiving something for his efforts. He’ll tease, but is always willing to do what you ask of him.

Gift giving? Just thought of this but have you seen those holiday themed gift baskets? I feel like he’d understand the hype, goes out of his way to put one together for you but it’s full of silly things he’d get a kick out of. He’d get you stuff that he knows you like, of course, but for the most part he’s like “Isn’t this what a holiday gift basket is?” And it’s full of generic things associated with the specific holiday and that doesn’t pertain to you in the slightest. He’d never learn, does it every year, thinks it’s so funny when you’re like “Huh???” At some of the stuff he put in. I feel like he’s also the type to put together a bouquet for you made from hand picked wildflowers instead of store bought ones, seems like something he’d do :b hand written love letters always, ugh i just want to punch his cheeks, he’d be so warm and pink in the face when giving it to you!!

Quality time? Loves bringing you everywhere, you just make every experience much more enjoyable, it’s like taking a piece of home with him, and if he’s ever feeling stressed or anxious he’ll never be worried for long because you’re there. If the both of you are abroad for his schedule and he’s a little spooked by the amount of people that await for him and his members, he’s dragging you away for some alone time, away from the noise. Loves big, long, comfy hugs, always needs one before performing, usually closes his eyes and lets himself sink completely into your arms.

Physical touch? A sucker for it, truly. Frequently uses your thighs as a pillow no matter your location, and sometimes holding your hand while walking just isn’t enough, results in him waddling behind you with his arms securely wrapped around your torso 😔 does it for as long as he can.

Bf!Yechan who is so warm and kind it’s making me sob!!!!!

[kiarabanetmi]

“Poison” and how it speaks to all types of abuse

Hi there! I’m posting again. This is a small analysis/commentary on how the song Poison from Hazbin Hotel describes not just sexual and drug abuse, but other types of abuse as well. If you haven’t seen Hazbin Hotel or haven’t heard the song, I’ve put a link to the song below. Even if you don’t watch the show the song is amazing and I highly recommend it. Note: this is not the official episode music video, which is triggering to people, this is the before episode release version.

I also made another post earlier on my opinions on episode 4 of Hazbin Hotel. Give it a read!

Ok, so I’m going to cover some very specific lines and moments in the song. The majority of my analysis focuses on verse two and the the final verse.

This song at its core is about abuse. Angel Dust’s type of abuse is a combination of largely S/A along with physical and verbal Abuse by his pimp Valentino. But if you analyze these lyrics, this song speaks to all types of abuse and abuse victims and/or survivors, except for a few lines that are highly specific depending on situations. I’m going to focus on how this song can speak to domestic abuse victims, myself specifically. If you do not feel comfortable hearing about the following triggers then please scroll on and have a good day. You have been warned.

So context before I get into this: I was raised with a mentally ill parent as well as victim of my other parent’s former Fiance who also verbally and emotionally abused but the two of us. My mentally ill parent suffers from untreated unconventional borderline personality disorder, known as BPD. My other parent’s ex Fiance suffers from grandiose narcissistic personality disorder, known as NPD. I am no longer in contact with the ex Fiance and have no plans to see them ever again. However, I am still suffering from my parent with BPD, specifically over the holiday. We had a major fight because they believe my other parent is truly the abuser in their reality and by taking their side, I was starting to abuse them as well. This has caused me to (at least temporarily) cut off the unhealthy parent and live with the other one full time. And the unhealthy parent is a master at verbal, emotional and psychological manipulation.

Now getting onto the actual song:

Whenever I listen to the back half of verse 1 into the first chorus, I really relate to the lyrics through personal experience. It starts at the following line:

“I shoulda known that this would happen,

“I shoulda known it when I looked into your red-hot eyes

“Spewin’ all your red hot lies”

Now let’s go back to the lyrics and how it relates to me. As part of their BPD, this is especially true, and true for those who are involved with family/spouses/loved ones who are verbally and emotionally abusive. I believe any person who has different under an abuser will relate to this simple like. At some point we know the pattern, we know the signs for when we “fucked up” as it were. And we know at some point, consciously or unconsciously, that our abuser is lying.

“What’s the worst part of this hell?

“I can only blame myself.”

This line can be relatable depending on the type abuse you suffer from. In Angel’s case, he signed his soul away (literally) to his abuser. In a way I do that with my abuser every time I choose to go see them and enter that unhealthy environment. The problem for me personally is that BPD does have patterns but I find myself surprised and shocked by them. Know that now I am doing research to try and learn how to properly deal with family members with BPD, but that personality disorder does not excuse the abuse I suffer from t I’ll his parent. Mental illness is NOT an excuse for inflicting abuse, even if it’s as complex or rarely treated like BPD. But every time I go back into that environment I can only blame myself for entering that hell willingly again. Because despite the pain I know they will inflict upon me at some point, I still love my abuser. I imagine this is a similar mindset to what other victims of domestic abuse feel as well. We walk back to our abusers, usually choosing to because we still love our abuser and hope they’ll change and this time they’re telling the truth.

But that’s usually not the case.

“Cause I know you’re poison,

“You’re feeding me poison

“Addicted to this feeling I can’t help but swallow up your poison

“I made my choice and

“Every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow.”

In my situation I relate to this line INCREDIBLY hard. It’s not just my unstable parent who is abusive. That side of my family has a long cycle of generational abuse that I am trying to break away from. But because I grew up in that situation, despite now knowing how bad and unhealthy it is, it’s what I’m used to. And unfortunately, I am used to or addicted to that chaos. For the past few months I have lived with my healthier parent and during that time, I have developed a non-chaotic, healthy lifestyle. Growing up everything was constantly shifting and changing based on the needs/wants of my unhealthy parent, since I was predominantly in their custody in my youth. Because of this, I grew up used to that chaos, considering it normal and fine, until I was shown another alternative by my other parent when they filed for custody and finally got rid of their own abusive fiancé. But because of the way I grew up, I became used to the chaos, and every time I go back to visit my abusive parent, I run the risk of falling under their spell. And unfortunately, more often than not, I do fall for it. And when I do fall for it, I fall into survival mode once again. This means that in a sense I’m “living like there’s no tomorrow”, like Angel. I don’t think about the consequences of anything other than escalating the situation, of making sure I make it out of there without some sort of fight or confrontation.

“I got so good at being untrue,

“I got so good at telling you what you want to hear,

“I disassociate disappear”

When I enter this survival mode, as I’m sure many other abuse victims and survivors do, I tend to lose myself for a time. I become someone else in order to be who my abuser wants me to be. In my personal case, I end up regressing to a smaller helpless child (not literally, but my body language does, as an unhealthy form of self soothing, being untrue and becoming who they want me to be: someone they control. I tell them what they want to hear, usually that they are right or that their pain is valid and nothing is their fault because they are the victim (which in my parent’s case of BPD is a reality that they ACTUALLY believe). Half the time when my abuser parent is tearing into me or trying to make me feel guilty or into he the bad guy (with depressingly frequent success rates), I tend to enter a sort of humble stage. I disassociate until it’s my turn to speak. I disappear for a while until it’s safe to come back out and say or do something. And when I do disassociate it’s awful. I lose small chunks of time. This has not happened yet outside of these instances of interaction with my abuser, thank goodness, but it is still dangerous to disassociate too often. I’m sure survivors of all types of abuse have disassociated at least once in their time with their abuser.

“So far beyond difficult to resist another gulp.”

Since I grew up so used to this behavior and pattern, it is like fighting my own nature to try to stand up and not fall for the lies. It’s so hard because I still love my abuser but because of their illness and their refusal to acknowledge it or seek real treatment this pattern is unending. It’s hard to resist swallowing down the poison they force in my face and flood me with. In my case, unlike Angel, my form of poison is in a pool, slowly raising towards my mouth, and I struggle not to get it not. And I imaging that’s what most other victims of abuse also feel like. That physical, emotional, sexual, psychological abuse is a poison that if left unchecked or stayed near to long will eventually kill us, either minor abuser’s action or our own.(Note, at the end of this post I have posted links the contact information of various services to help people in these situations, at least for those in the United States). Angel’s situation is also like that too, but he’s also drugged and forced to take poison by Valentino.

“My story’s going to end with me dead from your poison.”

This line hit me hardest out of everything in the song. During the latest fight with my parent, they tore into me overall and so brutally that for the first time in my life, I truly contemplated suicide as a better alternative. The verbal and mental poison they fed me for so long overwhelmed me and I felt myself wanting to die from it. I am not suicidal now, but it was an overwhelming feeling of pain, hopelessness, feeling trapped with no escape (at one point literally when I threatened to go drinking and they blocked the door, which is a tricky situation). If I hadn’t gotten out of then not already had the support system in place that I spend years setting up and learning to build, I may not be making this post right now. And there’s thousands of others like me who are still stuck in that pool of poison, but have already choked too much and succumbed to it. Never forget them.

“Poison, I’m sick of the poison,

“Im filling up my glass but it’s always hollow

“Full of poison, I’m sick of the poison,

“Wish I had something to live for tomorrow.”

And like Angel here, I’m sick of the poison as well, and every other abuse victim of any type can relate to this. At some point nothing helps anymore when you are stuck in the situation long enough. There’s no escape, and everything is hollow. There was a time when I was like this as well. My abuser had isolated me from nearly everyone else in my life save for my healthy parent, and it nearly broke me. But I found a reason to live for tomorrow at the time.

And I hope you can too. If you are reading this and relate to my story, or you heard this song and related to it in some way, then please know you are not alone. This song is not just a bop, it’s a real look at the kind of a severely abused victim that we don’t always see.

If you or your loved one are being by abused in some way, you are not alone. Here are some resources if you are in danger and need to call for help:

The Suicide Hotline: 988

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline:

The National Sexual Assault Hotline:

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Parents

[seaofreverie]

I listened to a new Sparks album and it was all I could think about for two weeks straight afterwards, a.k.a. My Hello Young Lovers Review

Okay, so here's my fabled review (I mentioned having written it once about three months ago, so I guess there's a chance that someone still remembers that). It's hecking long (seriously, it's long.) and consists mostly of me pointing out specific sections of the songs and raving about which specific elements of the songs I particularly like. And also attempting to make some sort of general statement on the style / atmosphere / themes etc. of the whole thing. I wrote this back in november, after 5 full listens of the album, over the course of about a week, and I didn't update it with any new opinions that I have formed since, to keep it true to that original form, besides some side notes where I thought they'd be useful to add. I hope you enjoy my yapping, however unprofessional and all over the place this whole thing probably is.

How to start album reviews? Well, I could sum up the general vibe / thing / feel / theme with the album but that seems much more fitting for the conclusion of the whole thing.

So let's kick this off with the first thing we see instead!! The album cover, the sleeve! (note: I got this album on vinyl for that first listening experience, the 2022? reissue) Ohh so pretty and cute, isn't it? Even inside, so much pink, even over-the-toply-so (for real though, I didn't even really think about what to expect from the inner cover, besides some photos that I knew would be there, but it was certainly not THIS. level of pink and cute), it looks so pleasant and sweet, doesn't it? And the band photos too, fun times all around!

Oh wow, ok, let's get back to reality here, I knew what I was in for (knowing just one track and excerpts of other two + reading misc comments on the album before already, as it is inevitable, you know. And frankly, that was actually the exact right amount of info from that commentary for a peak enjoyment here. Not going in totally blind but still encountering many surprises). This is a prime and, imo, very well executed example of mood dissonance. In a way where, idk, maybe it comes from me still having this even small amount of info beforehand, but it's the kind of situation that you can actually tell that something is off.

So yeah, the visual aspect of the album does fit it and I'd even say it does so VERY well, but as to how and why, maybe I should start exploring the atmosphere and themes and elements of individual songs first so we can make more general conclusions from that! So yes, I think it's time to dive in!

1) Dick Around ▪︎

Shortly put, amazing, showstopping and life changing song. And one of the earliest ones for me too! As a part of the extremely important and memorable playlist (note: my first time hearing a bunch of random popular sparks songs), it appeared somewhere in the latter half on the mix and oooh boy, was hearing this song for the first time, on the road in the dark evening too, an experience. I certainly found it intriguing to say the least, maybe I wasn't yet completely SOLD you know, and let's not forget that the second time I heard it (july) it actually kind of freaked me out in a way, but still, it certainly made an impression immediately. There's a reason this is one of the more well known / popular / important songs of theirs overall. This song is truly a journey and it messes with you in so many ways, oooohhh so many ways. I was super looking forward to hearing it again properly after being teased with some parts of it in the more recent weeks, so ok, maybe this is where I get to the individual parts I want to talk about.

Actually wait, first let's maybe say something about the placement. Of course it's the first song as I was pretty much certain it would be (and maybe already had kind of possibly spoiled..?), and it does work incredibly well as a mood-setter for the rest of the album, so it truly couldn't work any other way in my view. So yes, speaking of parts, there are so many different ones! Hearing this again was extra fun also because I would remember the main "point" / mantra of the song ("all I do now... is dick around") but not much else, then be reminded of another notable but very different part, then listen after this whole time properly on pretty much repeat now and be aware of those other little touches and bits that bring it all together...

So, let's start with the pleasant vocals & piano break near the beginning, it's, well... I just really like it (I hope I'll be able to say more specific things about other elements in these songs that I think need to be mentioned as I go on LOL), and right after that we have some very nice strings, then, suspenseful strings!! Idk why but I really really like it when those come in, they really set the unnerving classical tone that follows and returns throughout the album, then the same "calm" / bouncy vocal melody and a more "all over the place" piano returns (at least from what I remember, the notes are sort of more expansive in range in this part I think...). And soon enough... we reach the real moment of the song when it gets, well, real. And very intense. And this is almost jumpscare-like, ohhhh it's so good, even when you know you can expect it it still hits the spot amazingly.

So this is the rocking part that's honestly pure distilled joy and amazement to hear for me each time, the repeated echoey "hey hey"s for a second there are just the icing on the cake, so so so good. And, in fact, it doesn't get more rocking than this for the rest of the album. Dissappointing? Maybe it WOULD be, if there weren't other things still going on later, which were also in their own ways showstopping, so I think that yeah, those can make up for all that follows not really coming close to this level of unhinged. And this is the right word here I think, unhinged!! Damn, this freaking song. Like for a second there I remembered that in one of my early-ish hearings I just found it almost uhhh, unbearably raw? Idk if it's the right word but yeah, it gets... ugly for a second (I need to stop cringing at every more unusual / to the point word I use or I won't be able to write any genuine reviews in my life). Before going back to the main mantra of course! And then it goes on in a circle a bit more again, with more changes and some progression of the story and all that. And end on the mantra again. I don't know if I'm leaving out any super important bits here, I might be... Well, it comes back to full on rocking near the end too, with some variation too, so that's awesome! And very suspenseful and unnerving strings too for a moment!

So, should I talk about the lyrics / the story just a bit now? Ok, I won't go super deep into these or any of the following ones, I'll try to focus more on specific bits and the feelings that come with them and a general "theme" if anything. So, I think this song and its story is very engaging and I like it a lot and it certainly provokes further thoughts and ponderings, those 6 and a half minutes fly by super fast (guess that's just the power with sparks and their long songs, it's kind of incredible how maybe this goes ESPECIALLY for songs that rely a LOT on repetition, because those might work this trend the best), lots of variation, while still keeping some prominently repetitive / reoccurring parts balances it very well. You're really just thrown from one part to the next with this song. Ok, I wrote a lot about just one song and I feel like there's still more I could say if I thought about it hard, but let's move on now, we don't have all day (night)...

2) Perfume ▪︎

This is a favourite. An instant favourite. Right away this song grabbed me with its subdued, brooding and honestly pretty dark tone and sound. Low vocals, kind of ragged but driving guitar sound, and the DRUMS. They do SO much for this track, something about this specific drum pattern / style is very pleasant to me, very atmospheric. It's like a specific pattern that works to deliver some kind of effect (ok, I think through that, in a way, I just described the whole thing with repetition in sparks' music, especially in this era, nice, I guess that's how I view it and why it works so well) there's still a lot of interesting stuff going on there, plus it just sounds nice, idk. Once again, maybe "driving" is a good word for it. But now I need to mention that there is this one odd-one-out part that sounds much more cheerful, or maybe hopeful (and it returns again near the end). Because it has this specific thing, the different intonation of the SAME lyrics than the rest of the song ("and that's why...") feels strangely emotional. It certainly hit ME in the feels once I noticed it, so, yeah!!

So I think this is one of the darkest songs in mood and sound, while it also has something extremely COOL about its sound that I can't really categorize, I think I'm gonna feel like repeating this for every other song on the album but it just feels so CLASSIC, it's that typical song that always existed type of feel, yeah. But here it's less so due the melody necessarily, and more due to the whole picture. With some others it's also the song as a whole of course but they don't necessarily feel as much as a representation of a whole THING / genre / type of song / feeling in music of sorts (I'm really bad at articulating my exact views on these, am I not...) rather than those specific special moments that just bring it all to the next level. But OHHH I can't believe I almost forgot this, but the piano lines (I mean the post-chorus ones specifically) in this song, oh my goddddd!!!!!!! They're truly THE thing that sold me on this song completely, they're just so... something. So I guess this song also has that special "it" moment after all, doesn't it? Well, still possibly not quite as prominently as the next one, because...

3) The Very Next Fight ▪︎

Well, this is the kind of song that's completely made up of those specific parts making a very special whole. Starting with, of course, that melody line during the chorus "it's always the same. It's always the same". But maybe, just to be fair, I should actually start with where the song actually starts so, well, hmmm, the beginning. The very solemn piano and overall kind of heavy atmopshere here kind of slows down the momentum after the first two songs, and it delivers something quite different instead. So yeah, well, that chorus melody!! Oh wow!!! Isn't it so simple though? But it works so well!! It's simply beautiful honestly. It absolutely is! And later the electric guitar comes in for more effect and oh wow, it feels so incredible, yeah. And then some more solemnity with the... I think harpsichord?

This track feels very empty (as in the atmosphere, I'm not actually calling it empty as a bad thing or something like that, no no no!!) in some parts, then it has those emotionally charged bits, and let's not forget that it has some more really amazing guitarwork near the end. That kind of guitar "wailing" sounds beautiful in its own right too, it also kind of reminds me of some other rock-adjacent genre(s), I can't tell what exactly though...

4) (Baby, Baby) Can I Invade Your Country ▪︎

In all honesty, after my first listen I decided that this was probably the song I was the least impressed by? Kinda strange, yeah, because I no longer think that, and yeah, it was another one that I was only slightly familiar with already. Very slightly. It's a very interesting song once again, I think it's really unique after some thought actually (as are most all of the songs on this record tbh, obviously). It's unique, but it once again has this special classic quality to it that just feels like it represents a very specific type of sound.

I wanna say that the chord progression in the chorus might be some variation of one of the "usual" progressions although OF COURSE I might be very wrong here, it's just the feeling I get because maybe it's worth mentioning that 1) a while ago I started noticing this one type of progression in songs that made them sound very similar to Kiss Me, Son of God (They Might Be Giants song), so I figured it must mean that KMSOG is just in some kind of typical progression that is used a lot, especially in country-sounding songs from my experience 2) there was also an element of some classic rock / rock&roll (?) / punk (??) songs that also made them sound very alike after a while when I started listening to this one internet radio station recently, idk if it's the same progression or its variation or if all those songs use different variations mostly but are still based on a very similar thing at the end of the day, but yeah. I might still not understand chords or be able to catch them while listening, but there's now at least a little part of that whole section of music theory that I might be able to recognise in music just by myself, so that's some major music literacy development on my part I think... Anyway, maybe the progression in this song didn't even remind me of that usual pattern specifically, but it just made me think of that thing nevertheless, maybe it's similar, maybe it's not... So this was kind of an irrelevant tangent on my part, oops.

So ok, let's get to the jist of this... What exactly I like about this song and such, or just what I wanna mention. Well, I wanna mention that this is probably one of the more repetitive songs, also one of the longest I think, maybe the third longest, I wouldn't be surprised by that (the opener and closer are both pretty tough competition in the length department) but it doesn't feel monotonous, it flies by super fast, once again.

I think it's also possibly the brightest sounding song on the record, the word that immediately sprung to mind here is "triumphant". Certainly fitting with all those awesome horns!! They're truly what really sets this song apart. I'm especially a fan of the horns in the bridge part, I think it's the bridge. Sooo so cool sounding, kind of "descending". I also really like the layering of the different vocals and their melodies and such, the acoustic guitar also brings it all soooo nicely together, it's so pleasant sounding, especially in the quieter "baby, let's invade" part.

Idk what else to say, very awesome song though and I definitely don't mind listening to it twice (with the repeat as a bonus track, which I'll also get to briefly at the end) at all, in fact this might be the least "intrusive" song in a sense, so that makes the best choice for a repeat, if I had to choose, I could see myself going with this one, it's just very pleasant all around.

5) Rock, Rock, Rock ▪︎

So things get real once again, huh. This is one of the songs that I count in the category of kind of sick and twisted but in a way where I only respect them more for making it, so that puts it right next to, hmmmm, sherlock holmes for sure, maybe some others I can't think of right now. Big part of that factor is surely played by the repetition which just works, well, very well. Specifically the choruses.

One part of this song I was pleasantly reminded of on my first few listens were the short strings interludes, they really give it some of that pleasant classical feel (a separate thing from what i describe as classic feel here!) that I could say kind of contrast with the song and its atmosphere in general. Or maybe spruce it up, idk, we do have very dramatic strings during the verses too... The very deep drum sound is also pretty prominent in this track I think, pretty great.

As to some more notable parts in the vocals department... Let's just say that the way Russell says some words is very, uhhhhhh, effective (i think this sounds more cursed than it should, but i mean exactly that, the delivery just really hits you... and other times it's kind of silly instead). And also, with that repetition and it creating something great in mind, there's the repeated "and since you put-" part near the end that's also really great. The repeated "I"s in the bridge I think also need a mention. It's like they know exactly what word / phrase to repeat, what amount of times, and in which part of the song for it to work the best, like the perfect placement and number.

I think this song also has a bit of a fake ending, so that's also something of note, especially when it's supposed to sound as dramatic as possible (at least that's the idea I get from it). And actually, oh, so does the previous song! I forgot that part even though it's even more noticeable / memorable in that song than it is here imo.

6) Metaphor •

Second half of the album starts off with something that's very elegant and all the while very pleasant and melodic, all of which makes it a very nice track, even in a more usual pop song sense. Some very cool piano to start things off, and the electric guitar accompaniment, which also enters pretty early on. And then we have that slightly more strange part, kind of like an early bridge, that honestly has a bit of a comical effect imo (with no disrespect intended!!)? As in, I find it kind of funny and silly personally. Yeah, the "who's up for a metaphor" part, especially when we get the repeated "don't don't"s and "we we"s, and, well, what follows is what's definitely the greatest part(s) of the song, when Russell enters his falsetto mode and we get the "aaaaa-ªªªªª..." etc. backup vocals in choruses. Those are the moments of the song that are just, well, ONCE again that classic factor that makes the melody & everything else super special. But more specifically, I think those parts are just kind of beautiful. Yeah, I'd say this song is the prettiest in sound that this album gets overall. Truly wonderful and gets you excited for the remaining songs.

Meanwhile, the spellings of dig as d-i-g might feel kind of random I guess? But it works. Adds variety or whatever (note: it's also a very good moment of a rhythm change I believe, I think now that's what makes it sound as cool and satisfying as it does). So yeah, kind of a heavenly song I think, in a sense, also one of my top faves just for that factor (note: this song is now probably my favourite on HYL, and also among my top fav Sparks songs overall. It wasn't instant, but it grew on me quickly and oh man, I truly love this song so much now)

7) Waterproof •

I think this is kind of an odd-one-out actually? And why? I think it's probably the closest on the album to being sort of a fully, or at least MOSTLY, "normal" song. It doesn't have so many parts that are just downright weird and unexpected I'd say, it's just kind of friendly instead compared to the other ones (note: it took me perhaps too long to realize that this song just doesn't have quite as much repetition, which most other songs here rely on heavily, so that's definitely what makes it stand out the most). Not that it's an entirely bad thing! Sometimes you gotta slow down and relax a bit I guess...

I do appreciate the kind of sudden switch with the "the sky is starting to cloud up" part, and the little orchestral bit right after the first time the aforementioned switch happens (the second? or generally some later time it happens again there are also some very awesome horns! Really starts feeling like a quaint rainy street in some french town or something...) when, well, I was going to say that the vocals and the strings do the same melody, but they actually don't, at least not fully, still though, I did have that illusion before I made sure it wasn't the case with another relisten, either way, when it DOES happen, and Sparks do that a whole lot I feel like, it's always quite awesome, I mean, syncing the vocal melody with some other prominent intrument's melody...

The I think harpsichord also makes a return, yay! And then there's the guitar part, that does have some real surprise factor when it comes in, but this time for sort of the opposite reason - it sounds bright and nice this time around, and also it reminds me of Sparks' later style tbh, specifically in their following more rock-centric songs of course. And I think that's very nice, we see the always progressing evolution of their sound here I think. That guitar bit also has some album closer vibes, that kind of fake closer (or nearly-closer) situation kind of reminds me of a similar thing I experienced with Bon Voyage on Propaganda for example (note: I have since learned that Bon Voyage IS the closer on Propaganda, and the following two songs on streaming are just b-sides. So it makes sense that it would sound like an album closer because it IS one).

Annnddd the last thing that I just can't forget about here is Russell's another epic falsetto moment (waterwatereverywherebutnotadroponme!~) that part actually makes me smile. Yeah. Legit. I paid attention and I did smile on that part during my relisten today. ... Ok, let's go on.

8) Here Kitty •

When this song came on the first time during my vinyl listening I of course instantly knew exactly which song it was (bcs I've heard the title before, and a few words on it too) and had this little amused "oh no" moment. And, well, turns out this song is actually very awesome and veeeery interesting! It adds something really unique to the album. I saw someone call it quite impressive in the vocals / vocal lines layering department recently (in the last week, so already after hearing it myself I'm pretty sure) and I absolutely agree.

First off, let's settle that - this is a very strange song. But that's exactly what makes it so good of course. The strangeness keeps you so distracted from this fact, that when we reach the bridge of the song you suddenly realize that beneath all the "tatata"s, meows and unsettling rising piano notes we have the very much usual song structure with verses and choruses. Yeah, I think I actually sort of figured it out, what might be the verse, and what might be the chorus... Speaking of which, the parts that I identified as choruses have this, well, it's the same thing all over again (but each time the specialness comes from a different place and is totally different of course), but that very classic feel, indicative of maybe even some specific genre but idk what exactly...

Besides that, well, maybe let's go back to my oh no moment for a minute, and let me say that I either am very illiterate in that sense (and yeah I am tbh) or the lyrics aren't as overtly, let's say, innuendo-filled? as I expected. They actually have a semblance of a story you know... I mean, NO, not even a semblance, it IS a story! Let me also say that this is a very interesting song to have stuck in your head a lot over the course of pretty much an entire week. Yes, it got to the point where it could be annoying. One last bit of the song I really like is at the very end, when one vocal line starts to sound kind of echoey / distant, nice touch.

9) There's No Such Thing as Aliens •

The song that first cemented itself as being by far the shortest song on the album, sort of an interlude before the incoming epicness of the last one (that was quite literally my very first impression before I even heard either, looking at the vinyl this one was visibly much shorter than the last, and of course I expected the last one to be fittingly grand, and so it was obviously, but we'll get to that in a minute). The funny thing is, it's not even that short, as I figured even before eventually making sure how long it was in fact, and that's almost 3 minutes, which, well, of course that's still something around well over two times shorter than the last song.

But enough about its length, this song actually does kind of work as an interlude thematically too, which it is? it sort of even feels like it doesn't quite fit with the themes of the other ones, I mean, maybe not that it doesn't fit but just that it's defintely the furthest removed from the much more similar topics of the other ones (more about that also later!). Plus it's pretty sparse lyrically, once again, there's less you can fit in under 3 minutes anyway. Which supports the interlude argument also I believe.

Anyway, the music. First of all, waltz time!! Always a treat in sparksland to have that rare spooky 3/4 time track. The feeling I get from this track is: grand, very orchestral, anddd, hmmmm, elegant. But is it more elegant than the rest of the album... Idk, I wanted to use 3 different descriptors. I honestly don't think there's much more to say about this one, it's great, the melody is really great, the grandiosity of the choruses, the even more notable waltz time during verses. I think that yeah, I could pick this track as the most orchestral / classical inspired of the album. One cool moment I'll mention though would be the very ending, with the repeated "no"s going for longer than you'd expect them to maybe, and the deep drum accompanying all that. Very grand ending.

10) As I Sit Down to Play the Organ at the Notre Dame Cathedral •

Well, how do I even start on this one. I think I can say that with literally each single listen I become more and more in awe of this song. Could I even call it even more of a journey than the opener? In a sense, yeah. There's so much going on here. So much that I almost feel like breaking it down into individual parts and giving all of them their due because they all work for the amazingness of the whole. In fact, I might even already have this track roughly memorized (all... 7 minutes of this track) so it could be done. But ok, I'll just go with each part as I remember it, we'll see if I in fact do go over nearly all or all of them.

So. Echoey synth (?) intro, then the first melody part, with the individual words repeated, kind of "urgent" vocals part, very nice rhythm and something I just find very cool. As it progresses we get another part of just the synth / electric guitar-like synth / guitar or whatever this thing is, then a mix of both + this clicky instrument and / OR is it the harpsichord again? Giving it all more urgency and a nice constant rhythm. I also really like when the "byebyebye" vocal gets looped before the synth reenters. Overall, this part of the song has a very electronic, drony feel that I greatly enjoy and find very atmospheric and immersive already.

But, well, it doesn't end here. Because later, everything else stops and we hear a church organ. Even the melody it enters with is very much like something you'd hear in a cathedral, indeed! Good environmental storytelling, isn't it? But then... the organ transitions into this very very cool frantic melody (and by very very cool I mean that it's probably the #1 thing that stood out to me about this song right from the start) which returns consistently throughout the song and is just oh so very awesome.

So we enter the next part, what could probably be called the central part "as I sit down to play the organ...", tension is rising, the organ is doing its thing in the back, then some "hallelujah"s and BOOM! The chorus? The "I've got faith" part of course. And with it some epic strings, and I don't think I can really say what exactly it is about this part that makes it SO FREAKING GOOD & ABSOLUTELY SHOWSTOPPING but it's easily in my top 3 moments on the album at least. Then it's followed by the slightly considerably calmer "she's here..." section and we go mostly full circle for now, more variations on the same parts. Some grandiose "lalala"s & epic drum action too. And then, the "I believe" sections which I cannot let myself neglect, mostly just on the basis of them being kind of sickening to me. You know, in the "why did they do this (said respectfully)" way.

Ok, did I really just talk about all of the individual parts, I guess so. But before I move on I have to mention the moment when the very first major part, the "bye-bye-bye my baby" part, makes a sudden comeback. It's honestly just so good and satisfying, when completely different sections switch and make unexpected (or maybe you actually DO expect them on some subconscious level, and that's what makes them work so well??) returns like this, if a song has that it's very likely it will become a top top favourite or at least have a very big effect on me. Or even HUGE effect, like here.

So yeah, the song does eventually end (I mean technically unbelievable somewhat, since it's so long, but have I actually mentioned yet that this track goes by about just as fast as the first one, because it sure does, you do not notice the time passing WHATSOEVER) on some more "hallelujah"s. And the album's over. Wooo boy.

Bonus tracks

Well, it's not really over yet if it's not the vinyl but the streaming version. We still have just two more bonus tracks, technically just one? So I'll go over both quickly now for completion's sake.

First we have "We Are the Clash" which is a pleasant song for sure, can work as kind of a denouement after the crazy journey of the previous track, so you're left on a little less of a mood unresolution and can become a little less unsettled after all of this going down... Idk.

But yeah, I actually have this impression veering on pretty strong conviction that this song is a cover actually. It could even be a cover of the band whose name is mentioned in the song, which would put this version in a extremely funny area of how far stylistically it might be from the hypothetical original, if it exists (what's up with all these bands and their "we are the [band name]" songs, there's so many). Of course I could also be very wrong about this so all I just wrote could turn out to be absolutely hilariously off target, still, a fun little attempt at guessing things and connecting ideas on my part, whatever the truth turns out to be (I will learn the truth... in due time. My experience tells me that when I'm still fully in initial unwell mode over an album it's difficult for me to read and retain any outside information / commentary on it. So no need to rush it, heh) (note: yeah I was right for once. I meannnn I guess it was obvious anyway but still, let me have this, I've been fooled by assuming that a cover was someone's original song way too many times so I'm happy to not be fooled for once).

So ok, the last last track. Baby baby can i invade your country is baaaaaack, not much to say but it's pretty much the same other than the lyrics, since well, it is the "alternate lyrics" version, not "alternate" version. I do think that it might be slightly longer than the final version though but it's also likely I'm misremembering.

Anyway, lyrics, all I can or feel the need to say is that they seem to be definitely way more to the point on what this song's actual topic is (not... invading... countries . I don't need to explain it here do I) so subtlety win for the final one I guess. Just so it is known, I have not read these two songs' lyrics unlike all the main album tracks'. But I think I caught enough to get the main idea from both, you know. I do think also that the final version's lyrics just kind of sound better, idk if it's the rhythm of the words or what but they do just have a nicer flow. So, improvement, probably, still very nice to know this version anyway of course. (note: yeah i have learned since that most of the final lyrics are the US national anthem. Makes sense that if any song were to have alternate lyrics it would be this one)

To round it all up...

I think there's still a lot that can be said about this album as a whole but how do I go about that. Well, I did mention earlier that I'd come back to a) the overall feel / atmosphere here b) the themes / stories and how they connect. So those shall work as a guide to my conclusions part of this whole review.

First off, I could even say a bit about the main vibe / sound here in reference to Lil' Beethoven! Since it really does work as a sequel, at least in sound, by all means. I described LB with stuff like... cold, distant, cathedral-like, what else was there.... Ok, I have more, lifted directly from my LB write-up. (note: finally listening to LB a month prior to this was enough of a big deal for me that I wrote down my live reactions to hearing the songs) Impersonal / detached. Alien. Spacious.

Do those apply here too? I think so, yeah! Pretty much all of these words also feel like pretty good descriptors here. But honestly, the more I think about it.... Maybe it's just that the distance / the detachedness and alienated feeling is a bit lower here? Or at least in some songs more than the others. It's hard to explain honestly.... That similar atmosphere continues here but it's just..... not as pronounced maybe. Idk, maybe it will become clearer with this next point I wanna make which is that LB actually is less, uhhh friendly in sound. Less accessible! Yeah, I do think that this album could be seen as: LB started the experiment, HYL perfected it by taking it in a slightly more accessible direction. Or is perfected a wrong word here, who can say which was, or should be considered the better outcome here.... I think I actually have a problem putting concepts into the right words today. But maybe at least some of my feelings about this can still come across here...

So yeah, I don't think it's possible to tell if HYL is better or LB, it also depends on how you look at it! As it kind of always does when judging stuff per good / better. One thing that I can say sort of for sure though is that LB certainly started ideas / techniques that HYL expanded on and toyed with further, so in that sense, it could be considered an improvement. And so it is clear, I don't think I can say 100% that I like one more than the other. It's not that simple. I guess you could however say that HYL was more of an instant hitter and LB really just grows and grows more in power overtime....

So yeah, they kind of did take the LB concept and all of the avant-garde, experimentation factors that come with it, and made it more accessible, which is a form of art and an achievement and a testament of skill in itself. I think the somewhat friendlier, more palatable approach of this album also lifts off the coldness aspect a bit, but it's still there, especially on tracks 1, 3, 5, 10, off the top of my head.....

But maybe I should talk more about the album and its sound as it stands on its own before I move on though. Maybe we could jump from the words I already used: classic, orchestral, brooding, dramatic, dark, aggressive (yes, I somehow see it as friendlier than its predecessor despite also being much more aggresive in all senses. Raw even. How does that work? I can't tell you today. And idk if I'll ever figure it out. And also personal, YES, that's the word, this album feels soooo very personal and emotive. Not in the sense that I'm trying to say that it must be personal to them, more like it just shows some very personal feelings and struggles), triumphant (but that goes only for that one song really), driving, ELEGANT. I think the word elegant is the key here. In all of its subtler or less subtle tone shifts it keeps that very elegant, kind of graceful feel, all throughout. Even when it seems to be touching subjects that wouldn't necessarily bring that kind of atmosphere to mind, it kind of elevates them and gives them, idk, a new meaning?

So is this a good segue into the topic of themes? I guess the album name sits well with what I think is going on here, because my main impression of the whole thing was something like.... stories of fucked-up guys with self-image problems / feelings of inadequacy, which they try to go around fully convinced that they're right (and their messy love-lives too ofc). Or are they just, normal, regular guys actually. Who can tell. It certainly gives you an idea / a whole concept to work with and ponder here and to connect and visualize kinda.

I think that yeah, out of what I've heard so far this has to be the most thematically-consistent sparks album there is. It comes to a point where all the songs give this little impression of a whole universe where all of this takes place, and while I've had these kind of impressions from albums that are way more all-over-the-place conceptually with their lyrics (I mean like.... pretty much every They Might Be Giants album. You can create this sort of illusion with more than words, the music and its atmosphere and often also its stylistic consistency might be even more important actually), this comes, in my mind, almost close to concept album levels in that regard.

The definition of a concept album probably calls for something more specific than all the tracks being in sort of a similar theme but you know.... I don't think it really happens most of the time in music in general, that the whole album has this sort of a familiar idea / spirit throughout that makes a unique whole. (note: apparently wikipedia calls this album a concept album. Another win for me in that case, lol). You could probably try to connect different songs' themes and work with that in some way.... Which is something I already did in all honesty, but actually it's a between albums thing here, because I do believe that the dick around guy could be the same guy that the narrator from ugly guys with beautiful girls talks about. Similar ideas you can connect! That's what I'm talking about. I love it when songs tell overarching stories.... Make me think about characters from songs or little universes and vibes created by even the vaguest of lyrics and the ideas those create and the imaginings they bring, any day.

Ok, what else can I say. I think I mostly covered everything I could actually. Should I say something more about the cover with the added context now. I already said that it gives off a "something's wrong" feeling, but I think it's also compelling in how it conveys that elegant, non-threatening and polished image, sterile kinda. Well, I think only one of those four words I just chose doesn't really apply to most of this album's songs. I mean non-threatening ofc. Hmmm, maybe sterile doesn't really work here either, besides those prominent examples of the coldness of sound on this album, it would actually go more with LB, which also has a fittingly minimalist, all-white cover. Collected and orderly to a distressing degree. Just like here, it also gives off some.... distressing vibe. As I already said with the "this isn't right" feel.

What else can I say. In reviews you usually give your opinions, which I very much did throughout this thing here, everything like this is always somewhat subjective I think, but even then, a final verdict could also be said here. I think it's pretty damn clear by now what my opinion on this album is. I wouldn't spend several days writing a review and analysing every little detail if I didn't have a very strong (positive) opinion on this album (I guess I technically can imagine writing a very throughout review of something that just annoys you so much that you simply have to go through everything wrong with it and have some relief and closure through that. I can't see myself doing that kinda thing however, I'm not that kind of hater (or really a hater at all lol, i hope), I'd rather devote my time to things that I find actually cool and awesome and stand-outs in a positive sense, and worthy of attention and that dedication).

So this comment I fittingly found on tumblr over the last few days feels pretty relevant towards my opinion of writing "reviews" of stuff (this was more of a, very detailed analysis I know, but review just kind of fits, especially with how people call their recaps / commentary / writeups of concerts "reviews" a lot of the time):

(note: yeah I think I should come clean here that despite my very recent start of actual social media participation I've already been a serial lurker in various places for years now, lol, I mean, that's probably a normal thing to do though, I hope. I mean, probably lots of people do or did that at some point, but still. And I don't know whose post this is anymore sadly. But I thought I'd keep it here because it's a good summary)

And also, just for the record, this is my opinion on HYL pretty much. Yaaaayyy i loved it i had so much fun!! For real. i'm glad they're creating something!!!! Absolutely. One of a kind album that I will cherish as yet another great and unforgettable entry on the list of albums that changed me (TM) and brought me lots of fun and great memories / associations, even in such a short time. And the actual FIRST on the new list of albums that I'm happy to have brough the utmost attention to and dissected like that. It's out of love.

Thank you for reading this far! Here's a little bunny as a prize!

Whoa whoops this gif was supposed to be small! Have a huge bunny in that case, you deserve it! 🐇

[the-moth-from-elsewhere]

The Amazing OC Unoriginal Soundtrack.

You’re welcome, autumn.

Okay so I like to associate songs with scenes and characters, but sometimes I take it a step further and make what is essentially a soundtrack for a world comprised of random songs. Like a full OST but made of songs that are completely unrelated, or even songs I have straight up made up in my head. I’ve done this a bit with TAOCC specifically, especially because I like to think about scenes as if they were in a video game (or even a book!), often in the style of a visual novel or something. So….here goes I guess??? This is going to be completely off the wall and entirely for my own personal gratification so GET READY.

By the way! I’ll be linking most songs due to Tumblr’s audio file restrictions! My apologies for that.

———

Freaking Table of Contents:

“Mix and “Mada Dame Yo””

“Music Boxes.”

“Yume and music boxes”

“I guess I should talk about Yelena, huh?”

“Some stuff with Ace Attorney”

“Antiquity for the Funnies”

“Planetquest my Beloved”

“Dusk and some One Shot Shenanigans”

“Kingdom…y….stuff…YEAH! Can you tell i’m running out of titles?”

“I am losing it, there’s so many songs, let’s do the rest of GTA while I still have my sanity”

“The railroads and other Fei stuff. Awww yeah.”

“Some autumnal ost”

“Other/miscellaneous”

Goodness help me.

Mix and “Mada Dame Yo”

Alright, so there’s this specific leitmotif in Madoka Magica: Rebellion that’s typically associated with Homura, and comes from the song “Mada Dame Yo”. It’s all over the ost, and ever since I started listening to it, I’ve imagined this as Mix’s motif instead.

This song first plays when Dusk visits the bar for the first time and Mix is properly introduced. He starts speaking when the accordion begins. At about 1:05, we get a view of the back room, specifically of a bloodied sink, and the first hints of something being wrong or concerning about him.

Later, during the scenes with Mix when he’s stressed or arguing with people, specifically during breakups, we get “Raise the Curtain”, where the accordion becomes tense, and instead of kind of swinging back and forth like it does in the song, I imagine when mix snaps, the accordion player messes up playing a very shrill note, before going back to playing the motif over and over and over again.

Most hopeful scenes with him have “Not Yet (Epilogue)”, especially the scene where he finally accepts himself. Fight scenes use “Retribution”, because Xeya said that was his fight theme and now I can’t unsee it. But, of course, for his final Witch breakdown and kind of murder of Simon and Yelena, I just had to do “I was Waiting for this Moment”, just to complete the madoka rebellion thing.

This song also plays when we see a full flashback of the car crash. It’s sampled when Isaac becomes a magical girl, and when he first confronts mirror Elida.

Speaking of Elida, a lot of these songs have a music box in the background. Isaac’s theme instrument is the accordion (the accordion later becomes the “regret” instrument), not the music box.

Which brings us to our next segment:

Music Boxes.

Music boxes are used to denote children or child-like characters/moments, as well as generally being a good way to keep track of a character’s innocence. If the music box in their theme is upbeat and pleasant to listen to, the character is probably innocent or naive. If the notes are strained or distorted, there’s a severe problem or their innocence has just been shattered. A music box cover of a character’s main theme will play whenever they talk about their childhood or a flashback plays.

The music box-esque thing in the background of most of issac’s themes is supposed to reference Elida and how, despite her death, she haunts him at all times, burning her presence into even his theme music.

Yume and Music Boxes

Yume’s theme and leitmotif is “Hitonboro Envy”, almost always instrumental. The normal version plays in scenes with her, although it’s usually very quiet and uses quiet acoustic guitar. Her song is usually sampled in the background instead of being the only motif used, but during scenes where she’s being a kid/childish, the music box version plays instead, and does actually take center stage. When she’s feeling conflicted or having a crisis, both versions will audibly fight to take control, the guitar and music box trying to choke each other out as she switches between mentalities. Conversational themes with her or times when she’s working on art/not in conflict will often use the “Mochi’s Manor Night” theme instead, with bits of Hitonboro envy dipping in at times when she hints at her internal struggles/suffering. Mochi’s Manor is most often used in conversation with Odette, Achilles, or Slynn, while Ramona gets Hitonboro Envy’s guitar because she tends to bring out that side of Yume.

I guess I should talk about Yelena, huh?

This is where things go ABSOLUTELY OFF THE RAILS.

Yelena has so many songs I associate with her, it’s kind of insane.

Her songs are generally separated into two categories: the cutesy upbeat ones, and the horrors.

Her main leitmotif is “Snowfall” by Øneheart, which plays whenever she’s calm and okay and not dying of the horrors. She doesn’t really have a leitmotif as much as she has a certain “vibe” to her music.

“Wake Up” plays during her introduction sequence with Simon. “Wistful” plays when she’s in more calm, relaxed scenes.

And now for her non-calm/fight themes, which take a HARD turn into cutesy upbeatness.

More upbeat/casual interactions use “Ka’mani’s Hair Salon”. Celebration/festival scenes with Yelena use “Crawdance”, while most fight scenes (specifically when she feels like she’s going to win) use “Rabbit Hole” (INSTRUMENTAL, OBVIOUSLY). Witch fights, specifically the scene with Simon and the fight with the Air Control Witch use “Flirt Flirt Oh it Hurts”. The sudden tonal shift in the middle is when the Witch starts fighting back.

When fighting her Doppel/witch, a slowed down/distorted version of “Snowfall” plays.

Some stuff with Ace Attorney

This is Clown’s theme and you can’t tell me otherwise. The sudden orchestral segment happens when a character really gets an idea of his power level.

Gumshoe’s theme from the anime is Zachariah’s theme and leitmotif. It’s reused as zombie’s theme, but zombie’s version sometimes has some instruments missing or replaced with other instruments. The beat that starts about 0:36 appears in most scenes that he’s in, in the background, or starts playing when he’s involved with the events onscreen.

“First Tournabout” and “Novice Attorney! Phoenix!” are often filler cheery themes for when the characters are having a nice time.

“Pursuit ~ Cornered” is so iconic of a song that it’s only usually used in joke arguing segments. It was used in the scene where everyone got mad at Kumo for putting Ketchup on spaghetti, or when Nova gets caught pranking someone.

Antiquity for the funnies

Let’s start with antiquity itself. It’s leitmotif is this instrumental version of “September”

Although, you might get the more upbeat and intense part of the original instrumental with all the drums and stuff if your character is in danger. Antiquity’s theme instrument is bells, and it’s implied that the bell sounds in the music is actually Lemonade’s bell tower.

speaking of lemonade, his theme and motif is Viva la Vida. This instrumental version is the base from which his themes take bits and pieces, although when you’re getting the grand tour of antiquity or he’s at the tower, the base song’s instrumental plays. The bells from this song are omnipresent in almost anything involving lemonade or the seasons as a whole, while the slow ending accordion plays during times when he’s regretful or guilty or lonely. The baseline takes center stage when he’s excited, and the beat gets really loud in combat. A music box version plays when he flashbacks.

Calla’s motif is the “Starlight Strand” theme from Slime Rancher 2. It shifts from version to version depending on the mood of the scene, but it always plays in her house.

It shifts to the “Night” version when she’s excited or happy, the “Dreaming” version when you’re upstairs or in the guest room, and the “Late Night” version when you find the graveyard. Her fight theme is “Creeping Rainbows”, which is sampled whenever someone starts figuring out that something is wrong with her.

Charles is in a similar situation to Calla, with this motif being “Indigo Quarry”. It plays the “Late night” version as a base, with various other versions used to denote tone. As he heals from his wounds, both physical and emotional, his theme shifts to being the “Day”/“base” version of the song.

Planetquest my beloved

Uhhh…I don’t actually have much to say here, heh! Most lighthearted scenes use the lighthearted songs from the Sailor Moon ost. The overall motif of Planetquest is “Route Venus”, and it gets a music box version during flashbacks! Also this is the theme for when The Bad things Happen, which plays when Elysia collapses onstage and when Marcus is shot.

Dusk and some One Shot Shenanigans

Dusk’s instruments are flow-y classical violins and pianos and soft synths, betraying her nature as an AI. She usually reprises/covers other characters themes instead of showing her own, but her theme is “Spatial Lullaby.”

Most early scenes with her use “My Burden is Light”, as well as her first appearance. When she snaps or abstracts or has crises, “Simple Secrets” plays, specifically in Chase’s death scene and the scene where she had her first drink.

“On Little Cat Feet” is the theme for getting lost in her domain. Sometimes “Our Heritage” or “Abyss” plays during her scenes.

Her normal fight theme is “Quiero Salvarte!” Or “Credens Justiniam”, but it can sometimes be “Madness Plan” when she’s about to snap. “Madness Plan” is Dawn’s fight theme.

Kingdom…y….stuff…YEAH! Can you tell i’m running out of titles?

Icia’s motif is literally just the Shiva motif from FFVI and I’m not sorry. This is her fight theme, the motif is the vocalist. Rip anyone who has no idea what’s going on.

This is the kingdom’s overall fight theme.

“White ball” (the instrumental version) serves as the “excited” kingdom theme, often when Cool Shenanigans TM are occurring.

“Giselle Act 2 Hilarion Appears” is the “Ramona punches some people (see: Slyn)” theme.

“Giselle Act 2 Giselle and the prince” is the conspiracy shenanigans are happening theme, usually used when Slynn and Hexe are talking. More specifically the beginning part, but something about imagining the later, more upbeat bits as very tense background music instead made me keep this here.

“Swan Lake Act 1 Op. 20 No. 2” is the “THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING” theme. See: Yume gives Hexe a piece of her MIND.

Aoki’s theme and motif is “Decretum”, obviously all of his songs use violins.

Dunite’s music has tons of music boxes and are very cutesy. She gets a violin in her main theme later on.

Switchboard’s theme is freaking “Kom Susser Tod” and “Outlands part II” for when she’s doing technical stuff or building a plane. The theme for when she crashes her plane is “Fall”. “Space song” for when the gal is floating in space.

I am losing it, there’s so many songs, let’s do the rest of GTA while I still have my sanity

Simon’s songs are almost always classical and calm, with piano taking most of the melody. The instrumental version of “Mind Electric” is often used, but his base theme is probably the instrumental version of “Dream Sweet in Sea Major”. He just has the vibes, idk, it feels just silly enough for him. His fight theme is the instrumental version of “Murders”. The tense piano riff that plays through the middle of the song happens when he’s stressed. “Murders” is played during the scene where he’s pushed off a cliff, and is introduced to us as the theme during the “Silhouette torments sun” scene, and is played during the “killing Zach” scene/flashback/whatever. A random theme he occasionally uses during chill/lighthearted scenes is “Library Stroll”.

Bro is the entire Hawaii part II part II album

Anyways! Carbine! Carbine gets electric guitar as a theme instrument because come on I have to. He also gets really heavy base lines and TONS of chiptune. His fight theme is “Starship Showdown”.

When Sami is mentioned, Music box gets added to his theme. No, I don’t have a base theme for him...maybe this?

Caleb’s theme is “Please Help UK”. He has tons of chiptune and synth and overall is very “video game”-y.

Felicia’s music all sounds like chill elevator music. It’s supposed to show the dullness around her and how lifeless she feels, yet the world goes on despite the things she’s seen. She’s at work, and her background music reflects that. The instruments warp into something much more dramatic when she gets serious about something.

Edward…no clue, man. Camel by Camel?? All of his music sounds like a desert level from Mario or smth.

The Railroads and other Fei stuff. Awww yeah.

The railroads’ background music is freaking…like…”music to have a bar fight to” or smth.

Jessy’s theme is an instrumental of “Sweet Tooth”. I don’t make the rules. I guess his fight theme could be “Time Machine” (instrumentalllll obviously- must I even say this by now?!). Flashbacks with Amanda play “Plushie Melody”, which ends up as her motif later on.

“Museo Della Memoria” plays during Raina’s more creepy or off-putting scenes, including during the explanation of what happened to her.

Some autumnal ost

Neb’s theme is “Six Forty Seven”. Like…all of their songs sound like they’re from a liminal space video. The songs get very off-putting and slowed and distorted when the entity arrives. The liminal spaces have very chill themes.

Radio’s theme is “Ludicrous speed” for obvious freaking reasons. It will start playing very quietly when he gets excited and almost explodes like a freaking meme sound.

Nonspecific/miscellaneous themes

“Icosa” is used for silly shenanigans and other such things.

“cats!” plays sometimes when there are…uhh…CATS. Especially Fred.

“It could happen to you” is the “we vibin and having a nice wholesome montage” theme lol.

idk where I wanna put “distance of feelings” but it sure is here

This for when characters go insane.

and of course

“Your new home” plays whenever we have some kind of major existential madness.

Tags because I want people to see this madness that fell apart into nonsense

@star-on-a-beach @feiar @sh4tt3rg1rl @silhouette-anon @shot-of-hopes-and-dreams

@mod-autumn <- THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

[fantastickkay]

Album Review of the Week: Cher - Backstage (1968)

1968's Backstage is Cher's fifth album and first commercial failure. The album and its two singles failed to chart at all. While it is not specifically noted, this may also be the beginning of the end for husband Sonny Bono being her main producer.

This is an album of covers, and while most have great vocal delivery, some leave me scratching my head as to why the song was chosen at all in the first place!

We start on a high note with Go Now. This is a great track, perfect for any strong vocalist - like Cher. The instrumentation is a little too much, very whimsical and does not really match the mood of the song. Lots of organs, indicative of the times. Her vocals, as great as they are, could have been mixed better. It sounds like they were recorded on a rather cheap microphone. There are points where they suddenly become quite loud.

Carnival (Manha de Carnaval) is another gorgeous tune. I really enjoy the soft guitar - this time, the music matches the tune. This has a really nice lounge feel (although the vocals are mixed a little loud, again).

It All Adds Up Now brings up the tempo. I especially enjoy the vocals on this track, we get some nice flourishes here and there!

Reason To Believe has some great violin going on! Makes an otherwise boring ballad fun to listen to!

Here comes the sitar! Masters of War makes use of the instrument that The Beatles had popularized for the West. Is it executed well? No, not at all. One short riff is repeated throughout and the vocal melody/mixing actually makes it rather irritating to listen to. Lyrically, it is a pretty good anti-war song, complete with threats of violence! This is very of its time in a not-so-good way.

In a crazy pivot, we end side 1 with a cover of The Lovin' Spoonful's Do You Believe In Magic? It has a subdued tone that I enjoy, her vocals are mixed better in this one and sound great.

Organ vibes are back with I Wasn't Ready, although they are done much more tastefully this time! While Cher sounds good, this does sound more like a rough vocal demo than a finished product.

A House Is Not A Home is a pretty ballad and quite well done in comparison with the rest of the album. The strings are gentle and Cher's vocals are lovely.

Take Me For A Little While was one of the singles. I can understand why radio did not embrace the track. It's fine, but is not on par with what was popular at the time nor interesting and different enough to break the mold. I do really enjoy the chorus, however. The vocal layering sounds really nice!

The Impossible Dream (The Quest) is a very popular song that has been covered numerous times over the years. (Most notably by Niles the Butler in the Nanny, just kidding!) This version is nice, but there is not really anything special about it.

According to Google, The Click Song is a traditional song of the Xhosa people of South Africa. Why Cher did a song in an African language baffles me. Even worse, it was the lead single for this album!! Obviously, I'm sure, I don't know this language well enough to judge her delivery although some YouTube comments are quite scathing.

The album closes with Song Called Children, a whimsical ballad. Once the instruments really kick in, the song is quite cute. Has some nursery worthy instrumentals, although it kicks back and forth from slow to fast at a dizzying pace. At times it is a slow piano ballad, then the fast violin kicks in every so often.

While Cher's vocals are quite good, the mixing, overall production and song selection help me understand why this album did not do very well. Go Now, It All Adds Up Now and Do You Believe In Magic are the only real standouts.

[smileymoth]

@pikslasrce tagged me to post my top albums from this year :))

senses fail - still searching // armor for sleep - what to do when you are dead // senses fail -let it enfold you hollywood undead - hotel kalifornia // boysnightout - make yourself sick // wilbur soot - your city gave me asthma alesana - the emptiness // bedwetters - meet the f@cking bedwetters // bring me the horizon - sempiternal

do not ask me how many times i've listened to these 9 albums idon't even know myself. it's way too much though. i couldn't put all 4 boysnightout albums here so i just stayed at 1 and put it in the very middle because they altered my brain chemistry <33

senses fail gets 2 albums because i didnt spend weeks only listening to those 2 albums for no reason... their lyrics mean sm to me i want to illustrate the albums or songs one day. this goes for both senses fail and boysnightout btw. AND armor for sleep. there's something about that specific album. i realised i really enjoy albums that tell a story. and the fact that i like themes of angst love blood betrayal etc etc is no surprise either. car underwater got played way too many times

i discovered bedwetters thanks to eurovision, they were one of the options for estonia and i ofc found their old and only album (they released a new one a few weeks ago tho) (i dont know why they have 2 spotify accounts. im not asking). i even got to see them live bc they gave a free concert during summer <33333333 i got a picture with the band too !!!!! so cool

the new hollywood undead album got me back into them so im back to being obsessed. i love my silly california guys :3 i've been keeping up with them since and i desperately need to draw them again, this time without their masks!!!! im very glad that i found alesana to be sooo palatable this year because ive tried to listen to them before when i was a teenager and it just... didn't click, even if i tired. so yeah i get to fix that mistake now.

in spring i had a moment where i listened to sempiternal on repeat on the cd player for multiple days straight and in the past month i've, again, been listening to bmth and specifically sempiternal again so it gets a special place, too.

wilbur is just there because i had jubilee line stuck in my head so so so so much and also it's the best study music ever. also wilbur why is i'm sorry boris so silent. i can barely hear it it makes me angry so i always skip it. and then bc its the end of the album it gives me some lmanburg flag cover-art song that i don't like

anyway here's a special mention to these 3 albums because 1) greeley estates - caveat emptor, i just discovered it this week and i am in love. also greeley estates has been in my radar for quite some time now and i find the singers voice to be very pleasant and interesting? the tone does sth for me 2) brand new - deja entendu, for being stuck in my head for a good week because the tommy gun song wouldn't leave my head since it came on shuffle from my saved mp3 list when net was down 3) just surrender - if these streets could talk, because again i was obsessing over this for like a good week before i forgot about it. good album. not available in serbia tho for some reason

can you tell i love talking about music that i like. i know nothing about music it just makes me happy. :)

anyway i am tagging uhhhh @varteeny1234 and @complicatedsurgery and uhhh @cactusringed and uhhhh anyone else who wants + i'm not gona tag you, sly, because you only listen to alex g anyway <3

[hanarchy]

ooooh i promised @wantbytaemin a post about hanji covers (not that you asked, i just want to talk about it more) and i just came back from listening to your suggestions several times and i have sooooooo much to say ok, so little numbered list again for ease bc i cant shut up to save my LIFE.

Here’s some wishes I would have for jisung if he listened to me

1. Straightforward/Live/Acoustic Instrumental music with some VOCALS!!

This is why i have my country girl agenda, like why i picked kacey musgraves. I love the tinyy snippets we have gotten of him just singing over guitar. The softness, and yes as you mentioned!! The emotionality he can put in his voice!! I would love to hear more of that. Just quiet, no electronic beats, not the usual slightly overproduced instrumentals he gravitates to, I want to HEAR his voice even when its quiet. acoustic, stripped. like fast car, absolutely.

I would just love more rock, more guitars, more real drums (FREE ME FROM THE KPOP DRUM MACHINE). This is why like. arctic monkeys are appealing to me. they have three instruments and alex turner pretending to be cool and the tension in a song like ‘do me favour’ is so thick. Would do Jisung amazing BUT. you’re SO right that he could also build that emotional tension that carrie underwood does on this with his voice (btw hearing this again after years made me listen to shania again, which, fun fact: first album i ever bought with my own money was shania twain ‘up!’) if he just WANTED. I hope he practices more, i hope he collabs with day6 or xdinary heroes. he has the bands IN HOUSE!!

2. More production experiments but specifically more stripped back beats and funkier basslines (and real drums but whatever).

Now this one he is on the way to himself I think.

His production sensibilities are just very pop-focused and i respect it and understand why and I also don’t have the terminology or knowledge to explain what makes both the brent faiyaz song you suggested and the internet different but like. He demonstrated on 1,2,3,4,5 and on Run what that could sound like for him. Those are maybe my favorite hanpop songs so far and i desperately want him to explore this direction more. The vocals on run are so good, relaxed, laid back, the change between lower register and high parts. Now the next thing he should do is make a song with a rap part that offers a nice contrast. Rhythmic, strong, kinda takes you out of it and then plunges ur head back under water. Or if it’s something more melodic, make it airier, more ethereal, more surreal. Like fka twigs yess exactly. nebula by cifika is different vibe but also so atmospheric and a bit otherworldly.

I also think this niche of rnb has become the sound of situationships and messy breakups and i loooove that for him because he occupies that in-between of love and hate so well. resentment, anxiety, uncertainty and yes. pettiness. Which brings me to my next and biggest point.

3. Explore more uncomfortable and ugly feelings.

Listen. This may be the parasocial relationship speaking but I know that kid has some powerful perfectionism and jealousy going on. There’s a self-hatred and a desperation there that, if he were to explore it, would make him unstoppable imo. Now I absolutely understand why his position and his genre make this impossible and I am absolutely open to having a discussion about whether artists are really obliged to share everything or not.

Like this is gonna sound negative to the average kpop stan but i KNOW he is a judgmental little dick. I know he has an ego that is barelyyyy being kept in check (by his own limitations and working in a group) but is also just kind of explosive and i KNOW he knows exactly how good he is but being anything other than humble and only boasting in the context of largely meaningless skz title tracks (im sorry but they havent made a title with an emotion other than ‘look at us being so great at doing our own thing’ since like… idk. levanter. many of them are bangers regardless but explorations of real emotions they are not.) is just not acceptable. This is why i bring up that pettiness so much (lol) bc its the hint of like. an unpleasant emotion that (record execs think) doesn’t sell to teenage girls.

Don’t get me wrong, the anxiety and the romanticism and the fear and the love are all real emotions too - many of them uncomfortable - and he has built and recorded great songs around them. I’m not calling him emotionally dishonest. But they’re emotions that are acceptable for a boygroup member to have publicly. Stuff like Paramore (i dont actually know their discography very well so your input was MUCH appreciated and i agree wholeheartedly) or the way alex turner or julian casablancas write unfavorably about women while it’s extremely clear that the only reason it’s unfavorable is because of their own shortcomings and smallmindedness and self-obsession is something that would simply not be allowed of a man that is being marketed by a kpop company. And yes i do believe it’s uncomfortable for him to explore publicly and there may very well be many other reaons and cultural barriers that i do not understand but this is my wishlist so it has to work with my limitations.

And well anyway I know I’ll never get it but i would just enjoy him leaning into that. Doing some introspection and some scary shit. I think it would be transcendent.

little tangent: (I love bands like hole and sleater kinney and bikini kill because theyre unapolgetic angry women but ironically i used to love kanye west for the same (not exactly but very similar because he was extremely unapologetic in his own confidence and ability and his personality in an industry that didnt want it at first) reason kfkfkdk. hes not ok to listen to anymore and frankly i dont like talking about him and the women in these bands would crucify me for putting him in the same sentence probably. But what they have in common is that they publicly explored and explore emotions that society thinks unacceptable. (If you ever want to hear an EXTREMELY intelligent analysis of kanye and his career, FD Signifier has two incredible videos on youtube that go so deep into like… pop culture, hip hop culture, black masculinity, mental health… just music history. cant recommend them enough))

4. storytelling

listen. what i look for in a songwriter i become obsessed with is so simple: emotionally honest to the point of personal detriment, tells a good story, self-obsessed in a self-hating way, driven by love and the belief in beauty and magic underneath it all and a good hook every now and again. jisung checks most of these boxes and i think tbh he could just learn a lot from country musicians or people like tracy chapman or bruce springsteen or leonard cohen etc etc etc

like do NOT get me wrong i dont think hes bad at it and i also think its likely there are many korean songwriters better suited but due to my personal mental illness this is just sth i think about a lot. what jisungs version of like… Johnny 99 would sound like…

[doodledoinks]

EVERYWHERE AT THE END OF TIME

Everywhere at the end of time is by far one of the biggest, most influential and addictive things I have ever listened to. Its an incredibly beautiful yet devastating representation of dementia and Alzheimer's yet it feels so... Soothing?

I am incredibly afraid of getting Alzheimer's and/or dementia and having seen what it does to people only increases that fear. By no means am I trying to say that I enjoy listening to the rollercoaster that is EATEOT, only saying that from an artistic point it feels incredibly unique and different compared to anything I've seen before.

I'm gonna basically summarise the 6 stages of EATEOT for those who don't know what it is first:

Everywhere at the end of time (EATEOT for short) is a 6 part project spanning 6 and a half hours of listening time. It contains ballroom music from the 1920s-1930s. It is by no means the largest project out there- with albums inspired by it being in some cases 9 hours long- but what it covers in those 6 hours is phenomenal. It starts out with a sample from the start of "Heartaches", by Al Bowy, before slowly but meticulously deteriorating into unrecognisable static.

BRIEFISH SUMMARY OF EATEOT

Stage 1- The calm before the storm

Stage 1 starts out with looping samples from segments of ballroom music, seemingly whole and in no state of corruption. Whilst there is the occasional pop here and there it doesn't feel disorientated.

Stage 2- Unfamiliarity

Stage 2 feels like a more gunned down version of stage 1, with the music being more staticy and hearing a lot more vinyl pops between tracks. It feels off compared to stage 1 yet still recognisable. Towards the end it crumbles further, before segmenting into stage 3

Stage 3- Feelings of confusion and fear

Stage 3 is when it really sets in, with the first track containing 2 samples layed over eachother in an effort to create a sense of confusion in the listener. You hear the music being reversed, broken down and just ripped apart; with bits of clarity here and there it still feels painful.

Stage 4- The dread solidifies as everything fades

Stage 4 is by far one of the hardest parts to listen to- more specifically when you hear HELL SIRENS in the middle of it, thanks Leyland for that one. But it feels horrible. The audio is in shambles, there's still some music legible but only barely. It feels to me like trying to listen to what your neighbour's watching on tv whilst there's a government speech going on in your room. It's just painful.

Stage 5- The advanced plaque entanglements

K1 is where you know that afterwards is not pleasant. There's brief periods of clarity that fight to be there, begging for a chance to stay with you. At this rate it's impossible to hear the music, just warbling nonsense. Is practically impossible to explain stage 5 given that it is just backwards and forth nonsense in your ears

Stage 6- The end arrives with cavalry.

Stage 6 is the end, it is where the Caretaker as a character just ends. There's practically no way of knowing what is going on, it feels almost ambient in a way. Then you reach it. You reach the terminal lucidity. A choir, church? The orchestra that is death wraps her arms around the caretaker- leaving the listener with a minute of silence.

MY THOUGHTS ON EATEOT

EATEOT is one of the greatest, most powerful things I've heard. Hearing a song I love (heartaches) get split apart and thrown into probably ¾ of the album is honestly depressing. The whole album is. Everything about it is depressing. It wasn't intended to be a nice fairytale of sounds, more so a boxset of torment on the soul and ears. If you told me to take 6.5 hours out of my day to research dementia I would've spat in your face and said a few words. BUT if you said to listen to it and then go and explain it to random internet people then Idve been delighted to. The hell sirens in stage 4 absolutely terrified me when I was half asleep in maths, but I'd listen to it again either ways.

Everywhere at the end of time is not intended for people in a difficult mental state, so please if you are struggling with metal health then get help.

With all being said

LISTEN TO EVERYWHERE AT THE END OF TIME

Thank you for listening to my lecture :-)

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Current Top 10 Bleachers Songs

Though I can't exactly say I grew up with Bleachers--I was 14 when I first heard of them--I feel like I did. Maybe it's because I actually did grow up with Bruce Springsteen, and didn't someone once call Bleachers a glorified Springsteen tribute band? I couldn't find the original reference, but I love Bleachers almost as much as Springsteen (who's only my favorite artist ever--sorry, Alba Reche, you're a close second I promise!!!), so I can't say that label is a bad thing. The Springsteen energy happening in their music is FANTASTIC, with some interesting electronic influences to spice things up! They released a new album last Friday, so it's time to do a top-10-so-far before I find any new favorites :)

1. Wild Heart

This is for all the kids who lived off the Love, Simon soundtrack in eighth grade, who huddled in their room and listened to "Wild Heart" over and over and over again and tried to work up the courage to ask their parents to take them to see the movie... but what if they guess? What if they figure out I'm gay? I'll just watch the trailers over and over again, listen to the soundtrack on repeat... Look, I like so much about "Wild Heart", especially the echo-y vocal effects and the way the chorus crashes in and the grumbling bass and the outro, but really this is my favorite Bleachers song as a salute to my past self. I'm sorry. And thank you. And I'm so proud of you.

2. How Dare You Want More

This song is layers and layers and layers, it's all the chaos and glee of a really great party, and I feel tipsy by the time that sax solo hits.

3. Hate That You Know Me

I thought this one was pretty weird for a longggg time, but it got me eventually. The production here is emptier than what I was used to from their first album, but over time, it started to feel less empty and more immediate to me, like I could just be hearing a couple of people giving the performance of their lives across the street. Speaking of which, shoutout to the backup vocalist who does those riffs--they bring out the best in this song's rhythm. Also, these might be my favorite Bleachers lyrics. They're fantastically fun to sing, without losing any meaning to the sonic whimsy!

4. Don't Take The Money

This is my comfort scream-it-all-out song--it has the perfect blend of genuine humor and equally genuine agony that I love so much in my favorite Taylor Swift songs. Experiencing the mortifying ordeal of being known? Singing, "I SAW YOUR FACE AND HANDS / COVERED IN SUN AND THEN / I THINK I UNDERSTAND / ... OH I UNDERSTAND" is the most effective cure I know.

5. I'm Ready to Move On / Wild Heart -- w/ Yoko Ono

Okay, sure, this is kind of just "Wild Heart" again. But I think it deserves its own spot, since it really does have its own thing going on. I'm not as much of an experimental production lover as I want to be--though I respect attempts to expand the range of sounds we think of as 'music', I still have a hard time actually enjoying the more out-there electronic stuff. But I'll listen to this one any day, weird buzzing noises included, because Yoko Ono's melody instantly cheers me up, and I find myself singing it constantly. Snow is falling! All the time! Snow is smiling! All the time! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! To move on!

6. I Wanna Get Better (cw: sui)

This one is... intense. I think that's what I love most about Bleachers, though, is that you get all this emotion wrapped up in these ridiculously catchy rock anthems. There's so much feeling that's fighting to get out of these songs, and so much in my heart that's fighting to get out when I listen--but then I can free it by singing along. These are songs that want to be sung along to, that invite your shared experience of things that are too heavy to carry alone. Hell, maybe that's what drew me to Bleachers, specifically, out of all the artists on the Love, Simon soundtrack. Because their music felt like coming out, even before I actually did; it gave me an escape, to a place where I felt like my secret, my big terrifying secret, had already been shared. Even for just a few minutes, I could get that weight of things unspoken off my shoulders. And suicidal ideation is hard to talk about, too. And I didn't talk about it for a long time--not for years after coming out. But I had this song to process it with, and for that I'm eternally grateful <3

7. Like A River Runs

Okay, this spot could belong to a whole bunch of songs on the Strange Desire album, but I'll go with this one, which was my most-listened song on Spotify Wrapped 2020. I don't think I've ever been able to relate to this song--I'm lucky to never have experienced the death of a close friend, or of a family member I knew well--but the production always manages to capture me instantly. I guess this song gives us another good explanation of why I feel like I grew up with Bleachers: their music sounds like how my growing up felt--this overwhelming rush of reckless joy in the present, combined with intense fits of yearning for the past.

8. Everybody Lost Somebody

COME ON MOTHERFUCKER YOU SURVIVED YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK !!!!!

9. 91

I never really know what to do with this song, honestly--it's not let-it-all-out fun, like I usually expect from Bleachers. Rather, it's mysterious and reserved... but that makes it uniquely captivating, too. Its lyrics have beautifully executed time skips, and I love that string instruments are made central to the arrangement, rather than left to a low-volume layer in the chorus.

10. Rollercoaster -- w/ Charli XCX

I mean, Bleachers has some of the best hooks out there, and Charli XCX has a voice that makes any chorus a punch to the gut. A dream collaboration, for sure, and I wouldn't be surprised if this is my most-listened Bleachers song ever!

Honorable Mentions: Reckless Love, You're Still a Mystery, All My Heroes, 45, Big Life, Don't Go Dark, Anti-Hero (Taylor Swift feat. Bleachers)

[badstargateimagines]

Jonas's Big Day Out Part 2 of ?

Jonas and Daniel have a wonderful day out. A story of love, acceptance and the writers losing custody of Jonas Quinn.

Gen Fic, No Warnings, mentions of cigarettes and alcohol. No Beta I trust my tumblr followers to love and accept my dyslexia

Part 1 Here

The weekend came faster for Daniel than any other weekend had before. It seemed as though he had blinked in his office on Tuesday and suddenly he was in his car on Saturday morning. He could not think of a worse time to go to the mall, specifically Build-a-Bear, than a Saturday morning in July. It was his own fault, more or less, but it didn’t make him any less grumpy as he drove up to retrieve his surrogate little brother that he never wanted nor asked for. 

Sure enough, as Daniel approached the base, he saw Jonas all ready to go. His outfit was very clearly snspired by MTV as the alien opted for one of Daniel’s plaid shirts to be open over a black tshirt. His bottom half was just his BDU cargo pants and his gym shoes. Daniel sighed upon seeing the outfit. As if the taunting around base wasn’t enough, he was about to look like a divorced dad with his son on their one weekend a month together.

Jonas slammed his body into Daniel’s Hyundai with the force of a falling sack of bricks. Jonas looked at his colleague with a wide smile, almost saying ‘what’s the hold up? Let’s blow this popsicle stand!’ with just one look. Daniel’s slanted eyes cut over to Jonas.

“Seatbelt.” He stated, still a little too tired to process what he was doing. Jonas’s eyebrows went up in realization and put the seatbelt on. “Okay, good. Now that I’m not terrified of killing you…” Daniel put his car in drive and started to move. “Where’s the first stop, Jonas? How will you torment me from the outset, hm?” Daniel asked. 

Jonas brought his notebook out of his backpack. “Well, I think we should go to the mall first. I wanna make sure I get the best clothes for my bear. And then- Oh!” Jonas interrupted his own thought and rummaged around in his backpack. “Do you have a CD playing in this piece of shit?” He asked, the sound of crinkling paper still coming from his backpack. Daniel rolled his eyes.

“First, don’t call your ride to the mall a piece of shit. It’s a good car, does what I need it to do. Second, yes, I do.” Daniel answered. He again looked over at Jonas digging around in his backpack. “Third, why?” He asked, suspiciously. 

Jonas’s hand emerged from his backpack with a CD. It was not a CD Daniel had ever seen before but that didn’t stop him from disliking it. He didn’t like the look of the nurse on the cover at all. “Oh, awesome! I brought some CDs to listen to! This one is from Blink-182 and it’s totally awesome! There’s a song on this one called ‘Aliens Exist’! Isn’t that cool? Y’know, cuz like-” Jonas explained, excitedly. 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Put it in, whatever. I don’t care.” Daniel snipped with a huff, losing patience.

The high energy pop punk filled the car, each song bringing Jonas to turn up the music more. Even though Daniel didn’t seem to be having a good time at all, Jonas couldn’t’ve been more thrilled with how the day was already turning out. He was a simply guy: just the idea of having a good time accompanied by Blink-182 was enough for him. He banged his head the whole way to the mall, only getting a little sad when Daniel turned down the music to see the road better. 

When they got to the mall, Daniel parked near the edge of the parking lot. Normally, this was something he did to irritate someone into having a terrible time when he was forced to do something. However, what Daniel failed to notice was a group of nearby teenagers skateboarding. Jonas stood completely entranced having never seen skateboarders in real life. They were having a good time just doing a few easy tricks with their surroundings. A girl in cookie monster pajama pants was on a roadblock laughing at the wipeouts smoking a cigarette and drinking an energy drink. At first Jonas thought she was the only one who couldn’t skate, but that notion was disproved as quick as it popped in his head. She tossed her butt to the side and immediately got on her own board. 

Daniel grabbed Jonas by the arm and gently tugged him, trying to get him to stop staring at teenagers before one of them noticed. Jonas walked with him but kept looking over his shoulder at them. They were all just having so much fun, not a care in the world; just a group of friends on a normal saturday morning. 

“I need to get one of those things!” Jonas announced. Daniel side-eyed to him as they walked. 

“Sure, I’ll just let you die, no problem.” Daniel said, sarcastically. Jonas rolled his eyes. 

“They’re not dying. Look at them! They’re having fun!” Jonas argued, pointing to the group. Daniel hurriedly brought his arm over to his colleague’s and dragged the pointing finger down.

“Stop it! Jonas, please, pointing and staring it rude. Especially when they’re teenagers. Just… Let’s get moving.” Daniel urged, walking faster. Jonas shook his head. 

“Fine, but there better be a store where I can buy a skateboard in there!” He shouted, pointing at the mall. Daniel winced and brought a hand up to his eyes. He reluctantly agreed to help him find a skate shop, just so Jonas would stop yelling.

They got into the mall after what felt like ages. Admittedly, Jonas was a little confused when he got inside via the Sears but he sensed that Daniel was irritated enough with him that he didn’t want to ask about it. All became clear when he saw the other door that led to the mall. Daniel led his alien buddy to a map of the mall and asked him where they were going. Jonas shrugged. All he knew was that he wanted a build-a-bear, a skateboard, new clothes and perhaps a CD from a band he’d seen on MTV. In response to the shrug, Daniel started looking for build-a-bear on the map. He figured he’d ask for help navigating to a store that sold skateboards when they got there.

[so2uv]

you're tuning into the jj radio show.. here are some sort-of monthly roundups!!! (but kind of last months too its only been september for like 2 weeks). idk if any of them will be ur thing but i hope u like at least one out of the 10 i picked >_^

3005, childish gambino. god. this is just the song ever for me i cant explain why i love it so much i just DO. sol.. to be honest.. i'll right by ur side til 3005. ITS JSUT SOOOO.

追われてる, soul scream. INCREDIBLE!!! THIS IS REAL MUSIC!!! THIS IS CRAZYYYY. OWARETERU ❗ OWARETERU 💢 OWARETERUU 💥 like some people wouldnt even get it for real.

make luv, brent faiyaz. CRUSHING something in my hands right now. IDK HOW HE DOES ITTTT when he makes sth good he makes sth GOOD do u get me. i might explode.

100,000 - unfinished, jai paul. shoving this song into the hands of anyone who'll listen. every time i listen to this song i think the “And when you think you know what I know / A hundred thousand light years to go” near the end wont hit as hard because i've sort of built up a resistance to it and then it SHOOTS ME IN THE HEADDD. too good.

trick me, kelis. the tasty (2003) album gets me INSANE there is not a singular miss on there for me. and this song... oh its so bad rn. im obsessed with it. like im going crazy. Hepl!

1 thing, amerie. i hear this song and suddenly i can sing i can dance and i can walk in 6-inch heels! and also this isnt that relevant to the song but her hair on the touch album cover.. IT EATS IDEK

two moons, exo-k. you might've heard this before but if not IT NEEDS TO BE HEARDDDD this is literally one of my fave exo songs.

the 7th sense, nct u. you might've heard this too sorry 😓😓 BUT HOW CAN I NOT SUGGEST THIS LIKE ? changed my life forever. when mark lee said “uh, and that's a long-ass ride” i think some part of me just passed away. that IS a long ass ride. 1 thing mark lee's never gonna do is lie!!

taking what's not yours, tv girl. THIS SONG IS SO FUNNYYY. and also very good. BUT ITS SO PETTY LIKE STOP I GIGGLE EVERY TIME I LISTEN 😭 “Ooh, I still have your lighter / Ooh, I still have your book” LIKE HE SOUNDS SO ANNOYING LMFAOO

iii. telegraph ave, childish gambino. had to start and end w him!!! again HOW IS HE SO CRAZY LIKE THISSS. got me moving and floating and ascending and dying. its serious. i love it.

and thats it! like i said i hope u like at least 1 ☹️ THIS WAS FUN I RLY ENJOYED TYPING OUT MY SILLY LITTLE THOUGHTS.. but i will shut up now LOL. time for you to switch to a different station, because the jj radio show is over!! (LMAOO OK ROLEPLAY)

3005: not bad not bad! rap isn't my favourite genre but the lyricism is great and it's honestly really nice to listen to while staring out a window :DD

追われてる: the intro was funky in a good way! love the rhythm and it's catchy in a way that has me bobbing along to it.

make luv: not really my vibe but the chorus is enjoyable. smth id put on my fic writing playlist ngl 👍

100,000 - unfinished: THE SWITCH UP AT THE BEGINNING AYOOO??! from the heavy rap to sudden vocals then merging the two is so 😩😩 i love the vibes of it. “a hundred thousand light years to go” ‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love how the words are staggered; it’s jerky the speech but it works so well

trick me: again, the song itself isn't for me specifically but the lyricism is to die for. "freedom to us has always been a trick // freedom to you has always been who ever landed on your dick" LIKE HELLO??? YES I LOVE THIS audibly went "ooooh" when i heard it. the rap is amazing too

1 thing: ok the intro ok it's nice its nice. OOH THE VOCALS I LIKE THIS TBH it's so fun??! if i weren't hacking my lungs out id totally get up and dance very badly to this (pretend like im an edit or like part of a clip compilation or smth yes yes)

two moons: the beginning is very cool, i like the beat and the rapping! ok when it picks up around 0:59 and they start saying two moons and stuff 💥💥💥 honestly did not expect to like this as much as i actually do :00 added it to my main playlist too 😼😼

the 7th sense: "OPEN YOUR EYES" OMG I LOVE THE CHORUS like my eyes are open and im sat. I GET WHAT YOU MEAN WITH THE MARK LINE!!!! nah ok this is going on the main playlist bc yes.

taking what’s not yours: THIS??? SLAPS??? i don't listen to enough tv girl shit i should be- the beat is such a good walking song i will climb a mountain listening to this. “ooh, i still have your lighter // ooh, i still have your book // ooh i still have everything you bought, but you never took” this right here. makes me want to- *explodes*

iii. telegraph ave: OMG THE DROP thought this was going to be a slower song but. the shift. the switch up 😫

omg this was fun!! pls music recs are amazing i love getting them

[edsbacktattoo]

interview questions!

tagged by the perfect and wonderful @skysofrey

1. Who would win in a fight- Dr.Phil or Oprah?

Oprah no doubt. Dr Phil is a wimp.

2. What is the significance of a piece of jewelry you own?

i own a lot of jewelry but my favourite is probably the necklace that my partner got me for our first anniversary. It’s a tiny and simple little crystal heart on a silver chain. super dainty and sweet. and now we’ve been together over 9 years :)

3. What’s your favorite cover song?

this cover of Britney Spears’s ‘Everytime’ by Ethel Cain. fuckin stunning

OR!!!

this cover of Smashing Pumpkins’s ‘1979’ by The Contortionist. either of these

4. If you were a Care Bear, what symbol would be on your stomach? I guess this question could also apply to if you were a My Little Pony

i fucking LOVE care bears this question was made for me (my faves are bedtime bear, wish bear and grumpy bear btw. if u even care)

i could be a funny guy and say that it would be a clown, probably. big red nose and all

but if i’m being serious it would be a realistic human heart i think!

5. If you could relive one day of your life, what day would it be?

probably the night that i saw Gorillaz live last year! i got the set list from that show and when i realised what it was my friend and i spun around hugging each other and sobbing while the stadium emptied. probably just that moment specifically <3

6. What is your favorite book and what are you currently reading right now?

my favourite book is Frankenstein! not reading anything at the moment because i’m trying my hardest to finish a fic and i don’t want anything to distract me until it’s done but i’ll be tackling some books soon

7. What’s the most embarrassing song you listen to?

being embarrassed about the music you listen to is DEAD!!!! love things with your whole chest because that’s what we’re put on this shitty planet to do <3

but in the spirit of making fun of myself, my most embarrassing song in my liked playlist is absolutely ‘Hero’ by Chad Kroeger from the spider-man soundtrack.

^^ this song’s pussy doth pop severely

8. What question do you never want to be asked again?

i can’t think of any questions, but i statement i’d be pleased to never hear again is this classic: “i can’t even draw a stick figure!” after i show someone my art. drives me up the wall i tell ya. there’s only so many ‘awww i’m sure you can! :)’s I’ve got in me and i’m running the hell out

9. What’s the craziest rumor you’ve heard of yourself?

nothing really outlandish, but someone started a rumour that i had a crush on one of my friends in high school. 🤷 i absolutely did not i thought he was smelly but eh what can ya do.

10. Does a horse go to heaven?

??? bitch i hope so???

11. Which of the 7 deadly sins best describes you?

wrath :)

12. Which would you rather have as a pet, a Vampire bunny or a rabid unicorn?

vampire bunny. i’d name her Elvira i reckon

13. If you were a famous rockstar, what would be something you’d always take with you on tour? Nothing boring like your phone

my framed picture of Kim Kitsuragi. he keeps me humble <3

14. Chunky or smooth peanut butter? What kind of jelly?

smooth, for sure. and i like strawberry jam a lot! that’s usually my go to for a pb&j

15. What is one thing you love about yourself?

my optimism! it’s a difficult choice to continue to make, but I make it every day despite the odds. i’m proud of myself for that.

16. If you were an animal what would you be?

fruit bat!!!!! I love fruit and love 2 scream <3

this was fun! :D i’ll no-pressure tag these angels:

@tisziny @vampirebutterflies @jellybeanium124 @ella-doe and you. yeah you. looking at this. yea. go on. do it. tag me so i can read your answers <3