#like he had a full on panic attack

[ilistentogirlinred]

everyone in my house is shit at communicating cause we're all autistic and both of my parents were raised in homes where no one talked to each other ever so that's fun.

[seldompathic]

Too much fear in familiar blue eyes for his liking :((

[xiaq]

Nothing like a Strep test to keep you humble.

[ranchwamen]

Niklas furry (scalie) version concepts. He's a common European adder! I'm really vibing with the legless version and I think it fits with the rest of my furries (while the fish have arms and legs with digits, ordinary fish already have fins which are homologous with tetrapod limbs, snakes don’t). In any case there's also a limbed version.... because who am I to stop a man from achieving his dream of flipping the bird

[zouisalmightie]

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[lovethytendytenderly]

Got to a part in flooded lungs where it’s like:

Ek: *stops touching Tristan for literally 5 sec*

Tristan: am I bad? Am I a bad sub? Drop! Drop for Tristan for one thousand years.

Ek: I literally just need to get you naked so I can take care of you properly *cursing in swedish*

[psychicthepsychic-daily]

mfw psychic is the liability and not void (rare void w)

[coriander-candlesticks]

Note to self: word prayers better when doing divinatory sessions

I think I've mentioned this before, but I do yes/no stone pulls on Sundays to ask for guidance about maintaining my health re: my commute because it's 2-2.5 hours each way via public transit if everything runs on time. It's rough on me in multiple ways and can lead to even more migraines than usual or being too fatigued to work at all, and it can be difficult to tell whether I'll have the spoons to go in person.

This past Sunday I was exhausted & stressed because of, you know, the horrors, and said my initial prayer a little differently than I usually do. I still invoked Apollo and Hermes as always, as both of them cover divination by lots, Apollo's domain covers health & disease, and he's the one I turn to for divination by default.

Now, the vast majority of the guidance and lessons Apollo has given have had to do with recognizing my physical & mental limits, especially around this issue. The answers I was getting this time around were...odd but not quite in the way they have been with just dud pulls, so I started asking clarifying questions to figure out what was going on. After a few - establishing that there was a reason for the answers but it wasn't a test or punishment or Apollo messing with me (which would have been. odd) - I realized that while I'd invoked Hermes as a god of divination by lots alongside Apollo, I had not explicitly asked him to act as a messenger and aid in communication this time around, nor had I asked Apollo to guide the divination session with the wording I usually use.

I think you can see where I'm going with this.

I re-said the prayer (correctly this time) and confirmed that it was, in fact, Hermes at first while re-doing the initial set of questions (which were much more consistent in the usual way), as well as confirming that the issue was the prayer wording. Lesson learned lol

[florida3exclamationpoints]

Hang on thought about pastry arts school again

[origamihoshi]

can you tell us more abt mono-a? ur padjal girl

Sure, thank you for asking I love talking about my fucked up daughter!

This is my girl, Mono-A-Milla, she's totally a normal girl and there is nothing wrong with her 🥰

But yeah she grew up very differently from other padjal, after she accidentally disintegrated her parents she pretty much became property of the Elementals, yeah sure they could have just taken her horns once seeing how powerful she was that she could mimic the greenwrath at the age of three, but where's the fun in that? So Mono-A grew up deep within the forest far away from other people and had to raise herself (Elementals aren't gonna be able to act as parents let's be real), she was only allowed to go out to where people are when it came to the qreenwrath, so she grew up seeing disintegrating people as nothing more than a game she got to play.

I feel like growing up with only the Elementals around for company can fuck you up, yes she can understand them really well (maybe better than most others can) but there's no good true translation of their language to Eorzean and the seedseers and hearers are all probably better at translating it than her anyway, becasue her understanding comes from her needing to survive and not being able to bridge the gap that padjals normally do. She's not a normal padjal because she never got to learn what padjals are normally meant to learn. Sure she can talk like the Elementals somewhat but becasue she's not an Elemental I feel like she'll never truly have it down.

She's very sensitive to aether and can kind of like hear it, her life has been one of nothing but noise from aether, or as she likes to call it singing. She's so used to hearing aether that if she's in a place with hardly any aether around she freaks out, like full on panic.

Like in ShB the light was so loud it was hard for her to focus on anything else, it was everywhere and taking in that light didn't do her any favors. (making all her spells light base is probably the best out come for what the light could do to people but still not great in her eyes)

She doesn't know how to control her emotions very well so when growing up the Elementals just overwritten her emotions with hers so she's kind of fucked up for life not being able to tell when it's her own emotions or theirs, really a lot of stuff with her is that she's been fucked up for life becasue of everything.

Because if you think about it padjal are kind of fucked up, people who have to grow up really fast to spend their whole lives having to please the people and the Elementals to keep the peace, but also they stay looking like a kid forever. It's messed up so of course when making Mono-A my whole thing was wanting to go into that things could really mess the kid up. She's probably in her 100s but she'll never look like it, she can be wise and act much older but most of the time she's super childish but in all the wrong ways, fighting is a game to her, she didn't get to play games like normal kids do, instead she got to kill those who wronged the forest. This kid doesn't even know her own emotions.

Before the seventh umbral calamity she was simply known as the Bringer of Greenwrath, someone to be feared becasue if you saw her you're dead. She was a sign of death, a story to tell the young to keep them in line, so it's kind of funny now that she's the Warrior of Light, she's seen as a hero. A dangerous hero who if emotions left unchecked could easily probably kill everyone, she's kind of a ticking time bomb if you think about it.

I like to think the Scions are like older siblings to her, yes she's older than all of them, but she doesn't look or act like it most of the time. But also I just like imagining her and G'raha sitting somewhere together as she reads a book out loud for her becasue she can't read.

But yeah Mono-A-Milla, my beloved padjal has never known normal and never will, becasue either she is feared or beloved and either one will only fuck her up more, there is no fixing her.

this is probably a mess but hopefully can be understood.

[mug-of-shark]

"feels lame in comparison to everyone else" and proceeds to include a batshit crazy experience in the tags

kitt

kitt you can't do that to me

....

did you ever find out where the blood was from?

unfortunately (or fortunately?) i did not

that school system did have a pretty hefty issue w violence though, so i’m assuming some 7th graders just decided fuck this and committed a violence

my personal thought is someone got beat down against the wall by multiple people bc iirc there were like smears in addition to splats

and uh. and then i went to art class and drew furries while being annoyed at my teacher (for being sucks) and my friends friend (also for being sucks. she had a tendency to punch people and then guilt trip you about being like dude don’t punch me)

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

part of my issues i think is i had a vet appt for both cats this week where earl was supposed to be sedated for an exam bc the first time the vet met him she decided to come in loudly and walk straight at him. which freaked him out. so, despite him letting the vet tech get his weight and come right up to swab deep in his ears with no issue (he has a history of ear infections and mites), the vet is now saying he has to be sedated for any exam, and i’m just supposed to drop him off at 8 and pick him up after over 8 hours because they’ll get to him when they get to him. i’m not fucking doing that. so i just sent an 11 pm message asking to keep the appointment for pye because i think he’ll be a bit more chill (and he needs dewormer), but i want to cancel earl’s because i had myself one foot into a panic attack about it. there’s another vet with a great reputation for working with skittish cats that i’m going to try for him

[sherlock-is-ace]

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[inbabylontheywept]

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

she then told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and go to heaven, and be able to talk to the worms face to face. that i'd be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident, driven only by excessive Love, and that she was positive they would forgive me because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[wordsgood]

the more i think about it the more the whole ‘well it’s not a romance book so why are you all so bothered about how the romance subplot played out’ thing that people take when some readers are dissatisfied with a romance is just. what is with this ‘not like the other girls’ vibe. yes being obsessed with shipping and romance is a shallow and uninteresting way of engaging with a book (or any media, tbh, i saw people doing this with severance s2)

but a romance is still, for better or worse, a valid and functioning plot element, and we should not be expected to just sit back and go “well i didn’t like how that relationship developed, what it said about the characters involved and the directions their stories took both separately and apart, but i don’t want to be a cringe shipper so i guess i don’t get to care.” no! romances involve characters! we care about characters! a romance plot/subplot is something you are allowed to have opinions on! you’re allowed to not like things that happen with a romance even if the book is not a romance! WORDS MEAN THINGS, including in a romance plot!!!