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starryfreckles · 4 years

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Flavie and Ayumi Live (26 mai 2020 on YouTube francetv slash)

Translation/Summary -

(I apologise in advance for the typos. i didnt really read this over tbh)

Interviewer: Where are you at the moment?

Flav: I’m at home, in my room

Ayumi: I’m at my country house in my room. [Her friend joined her there when deconfinement happen and now they’re living their best life. There’s sun and everything is good]

Flav is chilling “la vida loca” she says

Is it not too frustrating to live this 6th season in confinement and SKAM France has a reputation of having very involved fans and with the screenings?

A: Yes, its very frustrating but then again it’s something that I haven’t really lived the projections with the fans so I dont know what it does. But just the feedback of social media is incredible. Its a good preview at what can happen in a live screening.

F: Yea I agree. It is frustrating but seeing everyone on social media is kind of reassuring and comforting and like Ayumi said, we dont know that [the screenings] so its not that frustrating.

what kind of reactions have you guys had on social media?

[flav and ayumi arguing who goes first. Its the cutest thing ever. Flav always wants ayumi to go first]

A: Just love and positivity. On my end is really incredible. I thank everyone. It’s really just incredible.

F: Its so wonderful. At night, I really try to read all the dms on instagram and even if I cant respond to everyone, know that I read everything and I translate everything that isn’t in French. If I were to reply to everyone, it would take a long time so that’s not possible. I dont speak all the languages of the world so I copy and paste is translate to understand.

-video cuts out-

I: we were talking about fan reactions so let’s continue. Have you gotten any that made you surprised, laugh, smile, made you emotional, etc?

A: what is beautiful is that ive gotten many messages from girls and boys who said that they had similar a similar relationship to Lola and Maya in the sense that one helps the other more because of addiction problems. And that’s always nice to hear that they just wanted to thank skam for writing and portraying this kind of story. And of course the reaction of la mif. It’s true the character Jo has been loved by fans. She is so funny and so great and she’s [actress who plays jo, louise] really like that in real life. Like literally from A to Z

Flav agrees.

A: “Louise just played Louise” and it’s just so funny. And everyone online says they want to be friends with jo becuase she made this joke pr did that but she’s really like that.

F: she’s always joking

A: and she just comes up with stuff on the spot

I: we really just can’t wait to see La Mif reunite and see how they are in real life because they are just awesome on screen.

Flav and ayumi agree

I: Maya’s arrival to the season that was a little intense, let’s not lie, is like a ray of light. What does that do to you for having that role of the character who brings light and wonder? (This is kinda hard to translate)

A: its incredible to bring that kind of message, like you said, this light. She is totally this kind of girl that I would love to be friend with. It’s hard to explain. It’s just so beautiful. Maybe flav has something to say.

F: it’s true that you and La Mif brought a light for everyone. Even me when I see my family and close ones they say that they are so funny and new and that they felt my pain [as lola] even if its a show and its feels weird to see you like that because you’re close to us but seeing them [lola + la mif] is a good mix. And ayumi you bring so much like when your face lights up when Lola comes up the stairs its incredible.

A: its a chemical reaction. Its incredible. But flav I saw you on screen and everything that you brought, what David saw. And we lived it but for us it seems natural and on screen and rediscovered the characters and the chemistry at the same time as everyone else.

Flav and Ayumi saying that they havent seen the whole thing before hand and are constantly check their phone for new clips. They have the notifications for the YouTube channel.

F: we at least have the hours for the clips AT LEASTT and thankfully

A: which flav sent me because I didnt have them and she left me panicked for 2 weeks and then she finally sent them over.

F: its great. They’re on my fridge and I cross off each day with my parents and we are one it. My dad everyday is like there’s a clip. So funny.

I: Just so we’re on the same page, there’s a clip today right?

I: [fan question] what do you love the most and the least in the character you play?

A: flav please start

F: I love her “who the fuck are you talking to me like that” and her fuck you attitude. I love that she shows off that nothing moves her but deep down not really, like everyone I guess. I love that about her and she’s so natural. I love her, I really love her. Something negative. That’s hard.

I: you are a very happy, bubbly person. Is there not her depressed, dark side that bothers you?

F: well lola is just full of emotions where we’re going to see everything. But really what I dont like is her fashion sense.

A: im dead. But I was going to say the same thing

F: maya’s fashion sense? You are crazy. And also girl it’s your clothes they used as costumes

A: no no but people have made edits with you know the big pink coat or my outfit at the supermarket and its there that I realised how ridiculous even if they not really.

F: well I think theyre great. Love the pink coat

A: ill send it to you with fedex. I dont have it but ill send it to you.

F: when we were doing costume fittings I told the costume designer that it was simple and that I would be stealing all of these looks. Im going to take a suitcase, im going to take ayumi’s clothes, put them in my suitcase and go back to Vance with them. And I took nothing from lola by the way. She just doesn’t have a style. She doesn’t neglect herself but its her I dont care attitude, again.

A; I love maya’s engagement and her will towards everything and everyone. Shes a teenager but that’s beautiful to be engaged in many causes. She just really wants everyone, her friends, to be well and happy. But otherwise things I dont like outside of her clothes I dont know. Clothes is like the best answer

F: you forgot about her makeup. The makeup artist did her eyeliner and dots under the eyes and I was there like do the same thing with me!

A: that is really the best thing in all of humanity. It was so cool.

F: honestly. The makeup artist gave everything on you but on me she went in the morning like poof poof ‘well that’s it honey, there’s nothing else I can do for you’

A: you forgot the drama hair!

F: oh my god. She would pour oils and everything you want on my head. “You could like cook French fries”

A: flavie says that but you know she can wear whatever she wants and still look good

F: awe I love you

I: Did the age difference between you hinder your ability to be friends?

A: no not at all. What do you think flav?

F: not at all. Im just the baby of the group, im the youngest but we all so dumb together that we don’t realise

A: exactly. We all act like we’re 7

F: all of us together is horrible. The whole mif. Intolerable.

I: how was youre guy’s first meet?

F: ok let me tell you from my point of view because its quite funny.

A: she was so annoying. She looked at me all weird. she was not cool No that’s not true at all. She was adorable. Trop cute

F: I arrive to the production offices and im with David signing contracts and he says don’t move I have a surprise. And im like oh no what has he brought me a croissant or something and he brings back ayumi. So we start talking for like 10 minutes and I did not who she was actually. And I was like who tf is this. I did not know. And im one point im like so she’s the one who plays Maya? It was so funny. It was cool. And then he brought Maxence

A: from my point of view, flavie was so shy and locked off. And I knew who she was and I was honoured and thrill. She was so small and closed off. But honestly NOT AT ALL. i quickly understood the next day that flavie is a bomb! You understand ?

F: at first maybe you were like “I just want to protect this little thing.”

I: so what was the first scene that you guys filmed together?

Ayumi makes it clear that it’s a scene that hasn’t been released yet. And Flavie can’t remember what it is.

A: flav, you are putting our whole relationship in question!

F: I just dont know!

A: ok but the second scene we did together was the scene of Saturday morning after the first urban party

F: OHHH you right! I remember now!

I: but that’s a great scene that fans loved because of the chemistry and people loved it. How did you create that complexity? Was it the writing or did you try to meet up on your own?

F: honestly, not that much because the problem is that I live in Vance. We really tried to see each other but trains made it difficult to see each other just us two, but it still worked somehow. We worked a lot with David but not so much just us too and yet we still manage to create something really strong and powerful.

A: in between scenes we also just talked all the freaking time. And by the time David said action, it was like we just finishing our conversation in the scene.

F: every morning we were always happy to see each other and we didn’t see each other that much but that honestly wasn’t a problem at all.

I: in the YouTube comments, everyone is slightly making fun of flavie for living so “far”

A: [also starts making fun of flavie] oh yea yea basically 45 minutes.

F: BY TRAIN! By car its like 2 hours and a half, so sorry.

A: you don’t even have a driver license! So you have to take the train!

F: alright I almost have my drivers license! Soon supposedly! And don’t worry ill come pick you up in my ride!

Ayumi makes more fun of Flavie for her hours of driving and her basically driving illegally (in France you can only drive at 18 and flav is 17)

I: what was the most difficult scene to film for you?

F: well im not gonna answer. I can’t answer

A: honestly I dont have any. Oh wait yes yes yes! I just remembered. Flav you do know! It’s the scene where I tell you that ive missed you.

F: oh right! You were sick right!

A: yea I had shrimp for lunch. Bad shrimp and in the scene im in process of dying. I have never been in more pain and discomfort.

F: and I was like why is she angry at me? What did I do?

A: and flav is like are you okay and thank god you were there flav because she was telling me breathe and take it slow. It was the difficult

F: for me the most difficult that we’ve seen is was hard because of weather conditions. It was so cold on the whole set but it was the one where we were around the fire and jo sees eliott for the first time, the first urbex party. We were getting fire embers in our eyes so we were all crying and complaining. It was awful. Louise was actually crying so so hard.

A: it was so funny. Louise was actually crying and was joking at the same time whilst crying. We were laughing so hard.

The say that night was still a lot of fun and then they all went to Quentin’s apartment [actor who plays sekou] and the ambiance on set is better than on screen. It was a lot of fun

A: la mif always has a great time, messing around

F: David would say “FOCUS FOCUS”

I: it was mid November, and we all know skam france shooting is very intense and fast. So David was like a police officers. We cant wait to see the behind the scenes. David in the comments says thank you to all the extras who were there until 4am

F: oh yea honestly. Thank you– just thank you

A: oh yea flav thanks for that. Its great.

I: we know there’s a clip today with a reunion. And fans are expecting a kiss. Are we getting that moment today?

(Silence)

A: listen if there is a kiss, it will happen at a perfect moment

I: there is a lot of pressure on this kiss becuase there are so many people from the LGBTQ+ community who are saying that this kind of relationship is rarely seen on screen. Do you feel the need to do good?

F: its so well written and directed that we do want to do really well. Ok your turn

A: the want to do good, of crows but its already something we want to do. We are not forcing ourselves, because its already there.

They say that its sad for the time being that they have to continue to fight for rights in the LGBTQ community and Ayumi says that with SKAM its all going to change. They always get lovely messages thanking them.

They talk about the ship name and how fans have decided that is going to be Mayla. Ayumi is happy that its Mayla. Flav wanted Loyla. Ayumi says it was their first “fight” and they weren’t agreeing. Even la mif voted on the ship. It was heavily debated.

I: Are we right to have so much faith in Mayla or are you going to break our hearts?

F: for that you’ll have to keep watching

A: well said flav

F: l’amour gange toujours

I: what is next for you two?

F: not much. Im seeing friends at a distant. Stay safe. I was starting to miss my social life. Not going out too much because I really dont want to get “this vicious/awful thing” so yea “la vida loca”

F: project wise everything is on pause but im on a good path. Crossing my fingers. If it happens it happens. Its destiny

A: its destiny. Same thing. There was a movie that stopped before quarantine and won’t start again but there are castings. Until filming starts again, we are all waiting.

I: it’s funny, everything something is said, it gets translated in the comments in five or six languages. Have you taken something from your character and have you left them something?

A: her joy to live at everything. And give her my body to just exist

F: what I took, well nothing. I gave her 7kg more. Well actually I took from her 7kg. That’s it!

I: who forgets their lines the most?

F: ME! But you too kinda. You just talk SOOO fast you start to stutter

A: I talk too fast and then I stutter and it was so cold that that doesn’t help. So in front of flavie, she really made fun of me.

F: I didnt always forget but sometimes when its really long I forgot.

#Flavie Delangle #ayumi roux #skam france #sarah speaks french*#this took a lot longer than i thought #long post #its so long yall #im sorry

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generaltravis-blog · 5 years

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Star Wars Episode 9 theories and possible spoilers.

The ending of a saga, the passing of the torch from a generation to the next, the beginning of something rising? Redemption, loss, family, strength for good, fighting for goodness sake; not your own life... All of these things can be taught in a Star Wars film.

Wrapping up the Saga that began when my father sat down in theaters to watch the opening crawl, the beginning crawl, rather. After this he would use these movies, along with countless others to show me a lesson. In this life there is good, not so good, then people who are just straight up evil. In my opinion we have not had full Sith allegiant character. If so, Rey would be dead.

So the following is my take on Star Wars Mythos and possible plot details to the upcoming ninth installment that will stamp the end to this saga were the force will be headed, and the plan for upcoming movies.

Star Wars and the Bible have correlations, mainly in the initial creation of things. Firstly there was the dark (sith) then by the will of the force the light (jedi) would rise, illuminating the force in general as a whole for all to see. The darkness and sith wanted it all to themselves and had attributes of vanity. Seeing their broken ways the Jedi would eventually lead to an uprising that would unlock the force and to our ‘new hope’ we cling that good will win, but does it have to?

Just like the bible, Jesus takes us in grey washes us white as snow to become warriors for his name.

Similarly the Jedi are led either by a teacher or by their own will to the good of the force. Usually these beings have attributes of patience, stability, control, and selflessness. In this saga the meek inherit the force per say?

The direction of the films if not picken by up clothing, symbolism to games, color’s chosen by certain at certain times; is grey the fact that a little boy of no royal bloodline or chosen race had the force shows us this fact. I would argue we are already seeing the beginning of the grey jedi ethos in The Last Jedi and The Force Awakens, mainly through the arc of Rey.

In the context of balance of the force we have seen two movies, especially Last Jedi, we have seen the light side poke it’s face to the surface. Now with a sinister laugh we are beginning to see the arc of sith rise.

Since this current phase of movies we have learned two things, force sensitive beings who are strong users of the force can implant their feelings, and/or will in to objects to call to others to carry out their will. Also force sensitive beings, can communicate across space and time.

With these new details I can surmise a lot about were we are heading plot wise the obvious thing being choice. Dark vs. Light

The Sith

The power of the sith is strangely something I have been interested in since the video games came out (mainly Knights of The Old Republic, I am also working on the trilogy D.B Wiess and David Beinehoff will be writing based in the period of the “old republic/knights of the old republic era”).

Although conceived and portrayed to be evil and bad, the sith are actually a race. So imagine your whole life in the Old Republic you are carrying out missions doing tasks for an emperror who only cares about himself. Somehow you and everyone around you are convinced this is correct; that somehow this was right, pure conquest with no diplomacy. Regardless the force, had other plans though. After ruthless ruling and killing of millions of innocent lives, we see characters like Bane, Revan, all struggle with the choice of going against the grain. Eventually this notion would prove correct.

The rise of the light side

People, and all races who were positive to the force would rise up to form a place between the great divide not seeking goodness, not seeking a reward. The beginning of the jedi were created literally from the sheer will of the universe needing balance. Yoda and other force sensitive beings would become strongly that this balance would need to be maintained.

The pre-quel movies are very good mythos pieces to explain the force. On one hand we have people dedicated like an army cadette (Obi-Wan) and we see people who know what is good and speak it and live it out, and would rather not be obliged to the establishment (Qui Gon Jin). Also we see characters who understand anger but are good, and we also evil characters understand good choices. Mace Windui and even Yoda come to mind. The power of shooting lighting is a sith power so how could yoda perform this?? Yoda did what he had to, he fought fire with fire.. and literally caught the jedi texts on fire.

In order for this battle to be won, in my opinion both sides will have to sacrifice. Rise of Skywalker stuck out to me title wise initially because adding ‘the’ just makes it seem better. Although to a singular person this could mean everything and there is one only Skywalker left. And if the Jedi ended, being called a Skywalker wouldn’t be something to be ashamed to off.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.

Ben and Rey are our main characters and at this point. After suffering a massive embarrasment Ben will not be happy in my opinion. Nothing he has planned has gone his way, the sith do not like this. Rey is figuring the force out with the help of hopefully ghosts/spirtis of Luke and Leia. This leaves no one to keep Ben in check, with anger growing in him the force will sense this and I believe we will see the force ghost of someone that will turn him (see ya round kid).

After Kylo is led by coniction that he can do good once he is redeemed, he will turn in my opinion. After this he will gain full power of the light and dark side, at the same time training Rey in some awkward gatherings and maybe fights.

From what I know of Star Wars this path of mythos means a lot of duels, lightsaber construction, and people discovering good and leading others to it.

It has already been said by cast that we will be losing a big character. What ‘big’ means exactly is left to be seen. In my opinion someone who we have taken as ‘big’ in this run and not really to the saga as a whole will go down. Poe, Finn, and maybe Rose are on my top three to go. Balance cant be achieved if both Rey and Ben (Kylo) die. Balance also can’t be achieved if either of them go to the polar of their force ability.

If Rey goes full Jedi, and Ben goes full Vader (which would take a lot of rage and anger much more than we have seen thus far in my opinion) balance will not be achieved. In order for their to be balance their must always be ‘a new hope’

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richmeganews · 5 years

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Bernie Sanders Just Hired His Twitter Attack Dog

Shortly before he gave speeches launching his 2020 campaign earlier this month, Bernie Sanders emailed his supporters, urging them to “do our very best to engage respectfully with our Democratic opponents—talking about the issues we are fighting for, not about personalities or past grievances. I want to be clear that I condemn bullying and harassment of any kind and in any space.”

What he didn’t include was that one of the people already advising him and helping him write those launch speeches is one of his most famously aggressive supporters online.

Since December, David Sirota has, on Twitter, on his own website, and in columns in The Guardian, been trashing most of Sanders’s Democratic opponents—all without disclosing his work with Sanders—and has been pushing back on critics by saying that he was criticizing the other Democrats as a journalist. He centered many of his attacks on Beto O’Rourke, but he also bashed Kamala Harris, Cory Booker, Joe Biden, Kirsten Gillibrand, Michael Bennet, John Hickenlooper, Mike Bloomberg, and even Andrew Cuomo.

A screenshot of one of the more than 20,000 tweets that Sirota deleted yesterday.

Sirota’s hiring as a senior adviser and speechwriter was announced by the Sanders campaign on Tuesday morning after The Atlantic contacted the campaign and inquired about the undisclosed role Sirota held while attacking other Democrats.

Faiz Shakir, Sanders’s campaign manager, confirmed in an interview on Tuesday afternoon that Sirota had been in an advisory role prior to his hiring on March 11. “He was advising beforehand,” Shakir said, explaining that Sirota’s informal work for Sanders goes back months, and was meant to be a trial period to see how the senator, who famously likes to write every word that he says himself, would work with a speechwriter.

[Read: Bernie Sanders is the Democratic front-runner]

The online fury of Sanders’s supporters was one of the most defining characteristics of his 2016 campaign. Sanders himself has said he is sensitive to that, as well as to accusations that he created divisions within the Democratic Party during his 2016 run against Hillary Clinton. “Negative attacks on Democratic candidates,” Sanders said in 2018, criticizing the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee for putting out damaging information about an opponent to a favored candidate in a primary, “just continues the process of debasing the Democratic system in this country, and is why so many people are disgusted with politics."

When people have questioned his tactics, Sirota has called them “mentally incapacitated.” Responding in mid-January to those who criticized him online for preemptively railing against the record of O’Rourke, who had not yet entered the race but had been a huge source of concern for Sanders allies since talk of O’Rourke’s potential presidential run picked up last year, Sirota tweeted, “The screaming temper tantrums by Democratic Party operatives whenever reporters scrutinize a lawmaker’s voting record is something to behold. These people quite literally hate democracy.”

At another point, he said his critics “are deranged and/or running a deliberate disinfo campaign.” “Positively unhinged,” he wrote about them a separate time.

Read those comments, Shakir paused. “He used those exact words?” he asked. “I’m sure he regrets the tone.”

None of those comments can be found online anymore. On Monday night, after being contacted for a second time by The Atlantic with a list of specific questions about his undisclosed work for Sanders, Sirota did not respond to the email but deleted more than 20,000 tweets. He left fewer than 200 online.

On Tuesday morning, minutes after his position was announced by the Sanders campaign in a long list of new hires, Sirota said he hadn’t been able to respond to my initial inquiries because he’d been caring for his sick child. He did post a photo on Twitter of himself bowling on Monday evening, wearing a turkey hat.

[Read: Bernie Sanders’s staffers want him to be less grumpy]

In a brief emailed response, Sirota attributed the scrubbing of his account to having an “autodeleter that periodically and automatically deletes tweets. I started doing this many months ago.” He did not respond when asked if it was a coincidence that the tweets were deleted hours after I contacted him and the morning before he was announced as a Sanders employee. He did not respond to other questions about why he had not disclosed his role with Sanders either on Twitter or on his website, Capital & Main, described as a home for advocacy journalism. Sirota’s ties to Sanders go back 20 years, to when he was Sanders’s press secretary in the House of Representatives. He has always portrayed that role as a past association and nothing more, despite his continuing affinity for Sanders.

Screenshots taken before the mass Twitter deletion preserve the role that Sirota was playing to his 125,000 followers, trying to turn the early online conversation about the 2020 primary race against other candidates, all while unofficially advising Sanders.

He’s accused Harris of giving in to big donors and changing her stance on health care, and questioned how she will defend and define being “tough on crime.” He responded to Booker getting into the race by reminding people of the New Jersey senator’s defense of Bain Capital, Mitt Romney’s former company, in 2012, and a 2017 vote favored by the pharmaceutical industry that has become a big target for Sanders and his supporters.

Sirota has repeatedly attacked Bennet, his home-state senator from Colorado, over his management of the Denver school system, which he has said is “now ripped apart by chaos.” He has also attacked Hickenlooper, the former Colorado governor and a current Democratic presidential candidate, for the poor state of Colorado’s roads. He has criticized both Bennet and Hickenlooper for not responding in what he thought would have been the appropriate way during a teachers’ strike in Denver.

Responding to an NBC News op-ed in January calling Biden “the Democrats’ best chance to beat Trump,” Sirota highlighted that the author used to work for the American Legislative Exchange Council, and wrote that Biden “was just endorsed” by a former spokesperson for “the group that pushes right-wing legislation in state capitals across the country.”

Reacting to a CNBC article about Gillibrand’s outreach to big donors, he wrote at the beginning of February, “Welcome to the oligarchy,” and attacked her for the time she spent at a law firm with the tobacco company Philip Morris as a client. In another tweet, he mocked her for endorsing Representative Joe Crowley last year in his losing primary campaign against Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

He also knocked Bloomberg for how much of his fortune he spent on a presidential campaign, and for his “allegedly awesome climate policies,” which he contrasted by pointing out the former mayor’s support for responsible fracking.

Asked if these attacks align with the pledge for a clean and positive campaign that Sanders has made, Shakir said, “I can only promise and pledge the manner in which he is going to work on this campaign is consistent with those values.”

He said that he is sure Sirota is apologetic. “All I can say is, going forward, he is very much a team player,” Shakir said.

Meanwhile, before officially joining the Sanders campaign a little more than a week ago, Sirota promoted meetings of the campaign and the Sanders-aligned Our Revolution group.

Among the few people in the 2020 conversation whom he has said positive things about: Jay Inslee and Bill de Blasio. Both have appeared on his podcast.

And then there’s O’Rourke. Sirota went after the former Texas congressman’s campaign-finance and voting records. He then turned those into an op-ed on December 20 in The Guardian, writing that “a new analysis of congressional votes from the non-profit news organisation Capital & Main shows that even as O’Rourke represented one of the most solidly Democratic congressional districts in the United States, he has frequently voted against the majority of House Democrats in support of Republican bills and Trump administration priorities.”

“This story was reported by David Sirota of Capital & Main,” the disclaimer at the end of the article read. He wrote another op-ed two weeks later, on New Year’s Eve, headlined “Beto O’Rourke Is the New Obama. And That’s the Last Thing We Need.”

Pushing back against those who wondered why he was tearing into another Democrat, he dismissed via Twitter “the trolls trying to de-credential me & claim I’m not a ‘real journalist.’” In December, he said anyone who questioned his motives “illustrates something important: while Dems deride Trump’s war on the press, there are a cadre of Dems who try to bully campaign finance reporters if they report facts that are inconvenient to Democratic candidates.” He also tweeted that if “you are a political reporter or DC thinktanker, you see everything in front of you as a political scheme & cant fathom the idea of non-partisan issue-based missions. Election politics is the prism through which you view the world & so you assume everything is political.” He added later that he’s not engaged in “some sort of secretive political conspiracy for a particular candidate.”

Sirota sent a note to his own email list after the hiring announcement was made, writing, “I believe journalism is an extremely important and necessary line of work, and I will miss it (and one day in the future, it is possible I may return to it).”

His hiring has been in discussion among the top levels of Sanders’s campaign since before the senator launched his bid for the presidency, according to Shakir and other sources with direct knowledge of internal discussions, but Sirota did not portray it that way.

“This new job was not something I expected or planned for—but it is something I am excited to do,” he wrote in his note. “I want to express my deepest thanks to all of you who have supported my journalism work over the years—your support has meant so much to me, especially in those times when my work has generated blowback from the powerful.”

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scrumptiousninjatidalwave-blog · 5 years

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Not defined

Ok, so here goes, another long but purposeful post. I’m typing like i talk so excuse the grammar. Im 36, soon to be 37 end of December, like literally the end. I’m married, happily, with 3 kids. I got my happy ever after eventually after going through some pretty tough n rough times. I wont confide cos who knows who is out there, and i’m not exactly everyone’s friend as i’m a bit different. I been through a lot of frogs n toads, and a couple of evil baddies, Disney expectations caused by watching fairy tales growing up. reality is different to the movies. I’ve got Fibromyalgia and EDS (joint hyper-mobility). Not a condition i would wish upon anyone, even my enemies. And i portray the Fibro as my enemy, living inside my body, taking up residency and not being a welcome visitor, in fact it has well and truly out stayed its welcome. Its a thief. Plain and simple. Its robbed me of so many things. I cannot walk far anymore i have to use a stick, or crutches. I’ve got one of those Rollator things you see elderly people using. Boy did i have trouble finding one that was tall enough, I’m 5 ft 7, and one that didn’t look like it belonged to my Nan who also uses one. I found one eventually, quite modern looking, but it didn’t stop the stares. I have a mobility scooter, so i can regain some independence and go to the local supermarket, parks by myself without having to have help. I’ve had to have adult social services come and kit my house out, extra hand rails on the stairs, perching stool for kitchen as i cant stand too long. a shower seat, which i still cant manage and a frame around my toilet.So its practical but its very much in your face. I mentioned I’ve got 3 kids. Now from their point of view this is a change that is going to take a lot to get used to. Mum can no longer chase after them and play, i can’t get down on the floor to play with my 4 yr old anymore. None of my kids can sit on my lap for long as the pain is unbearable. They need their comfort, but cant bear to see mummy in pain, let alone knowing that they could cause me pain unintentionally. My middle child is 8. She understands a bit better but i feel guilty as there is so much we cant do together, and she has seen the change of a healthy me to the fragile me. My youngest will grow up never knowing any different. my oldest, has Autism and Tourettes. Everything has always had to be broken down and explained factual and precise. its an adjustment. they feel helpless as there is nothing they can do to stop this happening. We have always had to plan outings and now we have to work out if it is accessible for me too. By law most places now are wheelchair accessible, if you don’t own one, they have ones you can use. And quite a few places like supermarkets and some National Trust places have mobile scooters that can be hired to use. Brilliant. My issue is the vulnerability i feel when i am out. Being in wheelchair puts you more or less level with peoples bottoms. It’s what i imagine being in a pushchair feels like for a toddler. Peoples shopping bags, cigarettes are all at that level. The stares, and the looks i get, I don’t want pity, i just want to be accepted for me. No i am not borrowing my Nans scooter to whizz to the shops. No i am not too lazy to walk. And surprisingly to some people, it is possible that people who use wheelchairs can walk, we are not giving up we are simply using the wheelchair as a tool so we can access places, and of course to save causing ourselves more pain and possible injury. So next time you see a younger person, some one under 50 using a mobility scooter or a walker, have a thought before you stare or say something rude or nasty. A smile will do. even a hello. I’ve had my scooter for a year and everytime i pass someone else in one, they will always smile and say hello. Its like a code. Bit like dog walkers talk to other dog walkers, and mums with babies talk to other mums. We get it. Phew this is long winded. And maybe a bit off course. But its in my head. I need to get it out. Its not just old people that have to use mobility scooters, walkers, walking sticks, rollators, etc. Its all ages. I guess i’m going through not a midlife crisis, but an identity crisis. If i catch a reflection of myself, i don’t see me, i see an old person. Its all down to stereotypes. i feel old beyond my years. my hair is going white against my dark brown hair. I’m not ready to be old and grey. I’m young still. I’m very excited to be getting a bright pink wheelchair! I couldn’t have said anything positive about my situation, it was all negative. i still have bad days, but a pink wheelchair means i don’t have to do anything to it to make it girly, away from the dull dark colours they usually come in. and it folds and goes in the boot of the car..i don’t drive. i look at my mobility scooter as my open top car lol. its even got a name, but thats another story. lol. I’m kind of trying to find myself, who i am, and so things are starting to get positive. I’m going to get my hair done, get rid of the grey and white, and have a nice ombre look. i’ve been getting my tattoos that I’ve always wanted. so far I’ve got my ghost busters, ludo from The Labyrinth with David Bowie, that’s going to be eventually a sleeve. And ive got my Galifreyan cartouche which my husband designed, he has a matching one. So i’m getting there. My old english teacher would have a field day, no pararaphs lol.but thats me, my thought of the day. over and out

#housefairy81

#refinednotdefined #oldbeforemytime

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MIA: This is a white country, you dont have to spell it out to me

Maya Arulpragasam is bringing dancehall, hip-hop and grime to this years Meltdown. Is the outspoken British Sri Lankan the best argument for positive cultural appropriation?

The Guardian said that you couldnt shag to my record. As conversational openers go, MIAs beats the banal niceties of, say, Hello, how are you doing?. Its no surprise that she charges straight into a chat about why her last album was considered too confrontational for the bedroom by this paper. Its an icebreaker moulded to MIAs very own design: abrasive, compelling, underpinned by sex. Yeah, she finally concedes with a grin when I suggest we move past it, you cant have it all, can you?

Its a theme she warms up to when we talk about her edition of Meltdown at the Southbank Centre, which were ostensibly here to discuss. Usually, I wouldnt do something like this, she says, slouched under an oversized khaki coat dress. [But the organisers] were like: Hey, you can do whatever you want. Still, putting on the South Banks annual festival, curated in previous years by the likes of David Bowie, David Byrne and Patti Smith, has turned out to be a fairly arduous affair for MIA who says she doesnt do computers at the moment.

They didnt tell me it was nine days long. I thought it was a weekend. And then all my lists were, like, Well, this person wont be in London and that person is doing Glastonbury. Organising festivals is actually really complicated, she stresses. It wasnt just about dreaming something and then it appeared. Programming literally means, like, programming.

For all that Maya Arulpragasam didnt quite know what she was letting herself in for, one suspects the Southbank Centre didnt either; logistics aside, the mornings photoshoot has already been met with some flapping from the press officer made nervous by MIA climbing on the roof without safety clearance. Still, her lineup dancehall, Brooklyn hip-hop, depressive Swedish rap and Nigerian grime is perhaps the most underground the festival has seen in its 24 years. How much is she expecting to shake up its comfortable concert halls, cafe bars and conference-room spaces?

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Click here to watch the video for last years Go Off.

When I was a teenager in London, I would just get a Travelcard and go somewhere, explore the city and go to weird places, she says. I would never judge the place, like, This is middle class and white. This is a white country, you dont have to spell it out to me, but there wasnt ever a limit on where I could go or what I could do.

A long, elliptical digression on London then and now follows, which takes in the optimistic multiculturalism of the 90s, Tamil house parties, empire and British identity. Its the bento box of an MIA interview: individually contained ideas that dont obviously bleed into one another and yet, overall, make a collective sense if youre prepared to go with it. Thats the key thing about MIA: you have to be willing to go with her to properly get her. Given that she still looks and sounds like a beautiful, bratty, art-school upstart and is prone to labyrinthine tangents, its easy to portray her as inarticulate or unhinged. But MIAs intelligence is instinctive rather than intellectual, and fuelled by the political.

The Mehrabian maxim that reckons that only 7% of communication is verbal is one that might best be proven by the transcript of a chat with MIA removed of all tone, attitude, context and body language. Take, for instance, her explanation of why only the future remains relevant:

As humans, we dont use our past and our history to work out the importance of what our role is in the present, she says. And if you cant use the past to define your present, then it should not be an element that holds back the future. Greece is a perfect example. More than Britain, they were brought to their knees, and not a single white country thought about saving them. And it was part of their heritage. Its where their mythology comes from or their concept of capitalism and democracy comes from. Nobody cared, everybody cared about the modern. Right?

Kim Kardashian is actually more powerful than Greece. She has more money than the whole of Greece, she continues. Therefore, thats where the power lies. If you then define it that way, then you kind of just have to live with that. And maybe whats happening in modern society: that if youre going to judge it by that, then other countries are gonna come in and define the future.

In print, its a statement that seems lacking in logic and coherence. In the moment, Im fairly sure Im able to follow her and we go on to consider how and where this future is being defined (for the record: You cant ignore the fact that China is going to be doing their thing in the next 50 years) and how Arulpragasam believes the immigration issue has become a red herring covering up a truth that can explain the American and British swing to conservative populism.

With Brexit, the idea was to get away from Europe and reinvent our identity, she says. And really, that identity was going to be American, but then they gave us Trump! So, everyone now is like, Oh shit, what is Britain? Are we going to rewind back to the 1800s? We cant. Its too late for that. So, going forward, we need a charismatic leader who then va va vooms the British identity. And we dont have that either.

People thinking that Im a bitch is totally unwarranted … MIA. Photograph: Stephanie Sian Smith/The Guide

The prime minister has called a snap election on the day we meet. Does MIA have any faith in our political system? Or in the left?

Everyone keeps going, Corbyn cant do this, but its, like, well, who else is there? she says. If people just left him alone to actually do the job and actually gave him some support, maybe hed be different. Treating him with so much contempt fighting that takes all his energy. How the fuck do you expect him to do interesting things? In any case insists the estranged daughter of a Tamil revolutionary, politicians are people who couldnt get jobs somewhere else.

MIAs politics, unwieldy and unslick though they may be, have often made her an easy target for tedious sneering in the press; the most insistent narrative is that, like Banksy, shes big on arch, subversive statement but lacks substance. Or that she is a hypocrite for making herself the poster girl for the worlds most marginalised people. And yet, shes one of the best pop stars Britain has ever produced. For all the ear-clanging experimentation of her five albums, MIA has always kept a sleeve full of pop bangers Bucky Done Gun, Paper Planes, Bad Girls, Finally that have sounded like little that came before or since her. Even if she didnt have the tunes, here is an art-school refugee Sri Lankan single mother with a visual aesthetic co-opted by everyone from Vetements to Versace who was born into political rebellion and revels in controversy. Gleefully gauche and carefree, MIA is the best argument for when cultural appropriation works. Bland singer-songstress beloved of Radio 2 playlists she isnt. So how much has the criticism bothered her?

People thinking that Im a bitch is totally unwarranted because Im not, she ays. I just had to fight for shit, and I still do. I just dont care any more. I dont know. She stops and starts. What I deal with as an artist, the media, the public persona, its a walk in the fucking park, compared to how confusing the universe really fucking is. Theres so much beauty in it and theres so much mystery, theres so much confusing shit in it. That is way more interesting to think about than why, like, Patricia hates me. You know what I mean? I laugh. Its like, Who the fuck is Patricia? and How can Patricia say this shit about me?. It just does not matter to me at all.As it is, she says shes most preoccupied with how to be a functioning grown up, an adult and a mother to an eight-year-old son (whose father Benjamin Bronfman is son to the billionaire heir of the Seagram fortune) born into immense privilege.

When the war came to an end in Sri Lanka in 2009, it actually did affect me, she explains. Everyone was, like, What the fuck does she know? Shes, like, a pop star, but that was my life. It was 50% of who I was, it was my identity. I didnt know what to do with myself. So I had a kid. Its the year the cause died, but the year my personal cause my son was born. And then, OK, I have to figure out what to do in very small parameters: I have a son, how is he going to see his grandma, am I going to make it there on Saturday? Can I make sure that I dont mess up his head by being depressed about certain things?

She struggles to reconcile her upbringing poor and living in Sri Lanka for her childhood to poor and living on a council estate in Mitcham, south London, in her adolescence with her sons. Im not very straightforward as an immigrant. That whole My kids would never see the pain that I saw; Im not like that. Im totally up for reintroducing him to the pain. I dont have any qualms about that. Her problems havent changed, she says, because of money or better circumstances. Whether Im in a mansion or a council flat, I would feel the same anxiety waking up going: I need to write this thing in a scrapbook, wheres my notepad? I would still have all those problems. I might still overcook the fish fingers. Those things are not going to magically transform because your house has changed. At the beginning I thought that money couldve saved my family. Very quickly I realised that money is not the thing.

Her conflict in wanting to being huge and commercial versus credible and ahead of the curve has been a persistent tension threaded through MIAs career. When I got into the music game, it was never an option to shut up and make lots of money. she says. To be a huge pop star, I would have to be, like, Yes, I think bombing Afghanistan was a great idea, I love our democracy and what it has achieved. I love the American flag and Im going to make a jumpsuit out of it. I just think it was important to have all of those Arab Springs, and its great and lets drink Coca-Cola. I had to do that, and do it all in a thong. Could I have done that if it meant that my mum had the nicest house in Chiswick by the river?

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Click here to se the video for MIAs Bad Girls.

Does she worry about money now? If youre preaching living within your means, you have to, to some extent. But I also know that if youre someone in society that speaks out about injustice or political issues, one of the things that happens is that you get economically punished, 100%. I take that hit all the time.

The most recent, obvious example was MIA being forced to quit her headline slot at Afropunk last year, following a contentious quote in which she asked in an interview why Beyonc and Kendrick Lamar might not discuss why Muslim lives matter or Syrian lives matter. I dont regret [raising the issue], she says, with triumphant chutzpah. You saw how bad it was. And the Muslim ban didnt happen just with Trump, it was already happening under Obama. But you couldnt say that about him, you couldnt say that he introduced the Muslim ban, or banned seven different countries, or was already monitoring people, or dropped more bombs than Trump has. In truth, Obamas administration did identify the seven countries on Trumps list for additional screening measures, but it didnt bar their nationals. Shes already skipped ahead. The quantity of damage cant be quantified right now, she insists. Well have to wait the four years. After eight years of Obama, we kind of knew [his failings], but we just werent allowed to say them because he was so great. He was better than any person in Hollywood that I wouldve watched. He was really likable and just had loads of swag. That doesnt mean that you have to deny the truth, though.

This (and much more) comes moments after she tells me she has no time for opinions these days. She claims she doesnt read the news any more and that her primary sources for information are customers at the local kebab shop, taxi drivers and then sort of figuring it out. What about the state of the world? MIAs moment as an agitprop pop activist has never seemed more potent. Politics? I have no time for these things because Im so stuck in the zone. Ive become a hermit. [Meltdown] is actually giving me the chance to actually go out and meet people again. Ive gone for weeks without talking to a person, I do that happily. I tell her I dont believe her, as I suspect it would be a recipe for her to go fully barmy.

Im actually quite an extreme person, so I dont see that as madness. I see that as, like, solitude, doing a phase of solitude is not that bad. After declaring her fifth album AIM to be her final one, shes also trying to find new ways to channel her creativity. Im trying to write a film. I havent stepped into it yet because I want it to be good. Once you hit the start button you cant really stop it. She has, she tells me, the added complication of ADD to contend with. When was that diagnosed? I just have it. Dont even need diagnosis, its a waste of time, its a waste of the NHS. In truly blithe MIA style, she adds: Its just when you have too many ideas and not enough ways to get them out.

MIAs Meltdown is at the Southbank Centre, SE1, 9-18 June