#like i didn't even mention the whole brass section

[myriadism]

So are you a Drummer girl/dude

or flutist

or a knows how to play the piano AND guitar maestro of the class

Or are you the kinda bitch that brings bagpipes to the quartet?

[pride-moth]

My take is that So Much For Stardust is the best post-hiatus album in the way that it unifies) brings together everything good from both pre- and post-hiatus.

It brings all the post-hiatus willingness to push and experiment musically, with unbridled Stumpian whimsy and it's orchestral intros and brass sections and string section and everything.

Despite this, it has so much of that pre-hiatus rawness with the crisp drums and fanciful guitar riffs (something that Patrick said was missing from Mania and even though I'm a Mania defender until my last breath, I tend to agree.)

And crucially, the lyrics bring a raw emotionality that we didn't see that much of post-hiatus. Like, yes, all three of the previous post-hiatus albums have some lines that make me cry in the shower but they never went quite so heavy. So Much For Stardust is SO heavy in its lyrics, it's kind of too much at times. Like, the title track will come on shuffle and I'll go "No, I can't have this emotional damage right now, sorry" like lots of people do with What A Catch, Donnie. And of course Fake Out is one that had everyone and their mom in a frenzy with its whole *gestures vaguely* vibe.

All in all, it's an album that celebrates pretty much everything that came before it, including even some Soul Punk influences (What A Time To Be Alive), while still feeling remarkably fresh. It's like... Every song draws from things they've done before but sounds like something they couldn't have done before.

I still do see an argument for SRAR being the best post-hiatus album, especially since it had such a tough job to do as the comeback album. SMFS has an advantage in the sheer amount of material it has coming before it. So, I wouldn't really wanna pit these two against each other other, but I personally feel more strongly about SMFS.

Anyway, here's two additional things:

- the spoken word interludes are good, actually, and break up the album thematically. I enjoy them.

- I've mentioned this in a Twitter post before but one thing about this album is that it's emo in a very adult way. Like, every adult angst going on in there. Lots of scabbed-over heartbreak whose scars are fading but forever present. Lots of "I've grown so much as a person, but I miss the way it was anyway" and "the pain is so real, and it might always be here, but I'll be pressing on, no matter what it takes." It's a bit too powerful for me sometimes. Like, the pre-hiatus teenage angst gets pretty intense sometimes, but this whole album makes me want to get wine drunk and lie down on the floor sometimes.

Anyways, share your own takes with me. About anything Fall Out Boy, really. I need more people to be very not-normal about them with because my friends are starting to think I'm crazy.

[itrustmydiscoverweekly]

I survived my visit to Plastic Beach

all i got was employment...

Anyways, minor update, I got employed, and I work evenings, these posts are now going to be more prone to changing post time, but they will still be out every week.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5 out of 5 stars)

Yeah, this album is a Gorillaz album, there's so many things to love and every song is unique yet ties in so well, lots of great names on this album too. I had a lot of fun!

Pretty much, if something is a 5 out of 5, I do see myself consistently coming back to it over time; as I see myself in the future with this album.

The big reason I had never properly listened to this album was that my parents did not have the CD and therefore I did not know this one existed until I was given internet access and I wasn't all that interested once I did. (Don't fight me but I've only really heard self-titled, Demon Days, and Cracker Island, and of course now, Plastic Beach)

Opinion Time! (as always, album order, not exactly any ranking order)

Briefly interupting my opinions I would like to share I will not be counting the orchestral pieces on this album within my rankings, they hold a special place in my heart and I love all of them, they all win/hj

"White Flag (feat. Bashy, Kano and the National Orchestra For Arabic Music)" is a super cool track, it has a lot going on and I find it to be pretty much the identity of this album. It's super cool, it incorporates everything on this album really well, and it's a super cool way to expose the setting of the album. I like it a lot, I like the orchestra stuff on it, I find the lyrics to be quite clever while still being cheeky and definitely Gorillaz.

"Superfast Jellyfish (feat. Gruff Rhys and De La Soul)" I pick out because I like the rap portions and how they work with Damon's choruses. I think this is another very Gorillaz song and it's very fun to listen to. I like that it has lots of noises and how they work in the song as well as the effects used on Damon's voice for the last chorus. I love music that sounds weird, you can't blame me.

"On Melancholy Hill" I picked out because I think I would be crucified if I did not. It's one of the big Gorillaz songs, and I'm kind of surprised I didn't know it better. It's a cool song, much more mellow (hah. I guess why/rh) and I like the role it takes on in the middle of the album and how it flows into "Broken". It's also nice to see a just Damon Albarn/Jamie Hewlett song. Damn good synths on this track too.

Honorable mentions!! 🥳🥳🥳

OK, I have a lot, this is a long album with loads of good stuff.

"Rhinestone Eyes" has lots of good sounds and noises and the melody in the "That's electric" portion on this one gets stuck in my head

"Stylo (feat. Mos Def and Bobby Womack)" I like the chorus on this one, I enjoy the whole composition n this song and the LAYERS wow.

"Empire Ants (feat. Little Dragon) I gotta give the song with a Latin beat a shout, I like the way it uses it in a more subtle way, it's fun. I also love how tender this sound sounds and then the transition and juxtaposition to Little Dragon's section.

"Some Kind of Nature (feat. Lou Reed)" I just love how their voices mesh together and I like the piano on this track.

"Broken" I like how it flows from "Melancholy Hill" I think it complements this song really well, yet it still is distinct in its identity.

"Sweepstakes (feat. Mos Def. and Hypnotic Brass Ensemble) has more noises and I just love how this one sounds, it's eerie in a really good way. I also love the band coming in at the end, this song sounds so full in the best way.

Yeah I like Gorillaz, shocking./j

[infinitedungas]

ok so akram khan's production of giselle is cool as FUCK

i've seen other productions of giselle and always felt that for such a gut-wrenching story it was presented way too pretty and polished... this though??? fuck me, man. its grabbed my brain in a vice like grip and wont let go.

ramble under the cut but TL;DR everyone should watch this. 10/10, brutally efficient storytelling, ballet being legitimately scary, left me feeling hollow but in a good way like a tragic ghost story should

also if anyone else wants to watch it in the totally legal way that i did, lmk and i can provide means to do so

khan's choreography is incredible. ballet often takes something very physically challenging and makes it look floaty, effortless - a lot of the choreo here looks painful, or strained, or unnatural, and it works so so well. he's also brilliant at using the ensemble dancers to convey emotions and story beats - like the circle of dancers around giselle as she loses her mind, contracting like a muscle, almost like they're breathing so you really feel her overwhelming fear... then rolling like waves before swallowing her up entirely. in some productions giselle just kinda?? goes mad then drops dead?? but in this one, even without the rushing sea sounds at the end of act 1, it's clear she drowned herself. idk maybe this is basic stuff but as someone who sometimes struggles to follow the narrative in ballet without looking it up beforehand i really appreciate shit like this. it's really efficient and effective storytelling.

i also need to talk about the wili - when i saw giselle as a kid i didn't get that they were meant to be angry spirits, but here you can't fucking miss it. they're terrifying. gliding out en pointe in ragged dresses and wild, untied hair, in this really eerie regimented symmetry, crossing the stage in lines that weave in and out and make the dancers look incorporeal, like they're phasing through each other. and the sticks. the STICKS. the wili have weapons, the threat is established from the outset and stays present the whole time they're on stage. banging the sticks in time, using them to direct others' movements, it's like a nod to the interpretation of a stern ballet teacher or headmistress in horror stories (the movie suspiria comes to mind) and i love every minute of it.

also can we talk about the costume and set design? i already mentioned the wili but what i really love about the costumes and sets is how hard they drive home the focus on the class divide. the way albrecht's shirt is tucked in neatly, that tiny difference in costume marking him out from the rest of the town right away and telegraphing the reveal later on. the towering wall in the background with grasping handmarks from the townspeople who'll never scale it but forever keep trying. the moment when it lifts up and you see the silhouette of the nobles, in these lavish, exaggerated costumes (the duchess' dress!!! holy shit costume designer great job!!!!) in stark contrast to the townspeople's simple dresses and tunics.

also the SCORE. THE SCOOOOORE. some of it's really different / stripped back from the original and it really works for the stark environment it's set in. there's more than enough of the original music to be recognisable but even then there are often these kind of industrial sounding undertones that keep you on edge the whole way through. the wili dancing hilarion to death is my favourite though - the clockwork ticking alongside the drumbeat of the sticks on the floor is some frankly excellent horror scoring.

the commitment to making the story look and feel gut-wrenching, unforgiving, horrifying in places, sums up what i love about it i guess. i've seen classical ballet productions approach the darker parts of their stories in a big, bombastic, ooh-listen-to-the-brass-section-isn't-this-scary way before, but this so different. this is the first time i've seen a ballet production be quietly sinister and looming and horrifying and brutal.

i'm sure other productions of other shows have managed it (from a cursory look at akram khan's other work this seems to be his specialty) but it was a new one on me and frankly it blew my fucking face off.

[spiderversegf]

caspian !! what are your favorite albums? or like albums you can listen to straight through?

HI MOUSE i love this question <3 this will take me a little while to collect only because i love music sooooo much and it quickly becomes a Whole Thing but i'm so excited to answer! i'll also provide spotify links & a brief blurb ab why i love each album so much!

temporary highs in the violet skies – snoh aalegra

i discovered this album back in september of this year and it has almost immediately become an all-time favorite. i don't think i've gone a full 24 hours without listening to at least one song off this album since i discovered it. tangerine dream was the first song of hers that i heard thanks to spotify's discover weekly, and it has such a warm, clean sound that i was immediately enthralled by. i also adore her voice! she has such a rich, deep, soothing voice that makes the whole album, even the sad songs, an absolute delight to listen to. she also has a huge variety of rhythms and moods across the album, and my favorite thing in the world is a lyrically devastating song you can shake your ass to.

favorite tracks: tangerine dream, indecisive, in your eyes, in the moment, taste, & everything

renaissance – beyoncé

what can i even say? this album is quite truly Everything. it is so reminiscent of black joy & a particular kind of delight that only comes with a crazy brass section. beyoncé did NOT come to play on this album and the songs are all so musically different while managing to all tie together perfectly under one core emotion, which is rebirth & change. i love it. it's so fun.

favorite tracks: cozy, alien superstar, cuff it, energy, church girl, & pure/honey

han – berhana

i LOVE this album. i had a therapist who mentioned that this was her favorite album in passing, and i was curious enough to look it up. i am SO glad i did. this album is a quick listen (i think it's ab 33 minutes from start to finish), so it's really nice to listen to while taking a brief break or laying down. there's a huge range of sounds on this album too, which i clearly am a huge fan of, and berhana's voice is soooo lovely to listen to.

favorite tracks: golden, i been, lucky strike, & health food

after laughter – paramore

i know a lot of people didn't like this album very much since it was so different from paramore's older stuff, but i LOVED it. this album carried me through a breakup so i'll always love it for that, but it's so FUN to listen to. i love screaming along to hard times while i'm in the car, and if you need a song to lay facedown and groan to, "tell me how" is literally Perfect. i love it here.

favorite tracks: hard times, rose-colored boy, forgiveness, pool, caught in the middle, idle worship & tell me how

montero – lil nas x

this album is genuinely a masterpiece. for the sake of being concise i'll say this is not a sad album, but it does carry a Lot of grief. this album is so beautifully produced and i genuinely feel that it has no skips. my absolute favorite track is either dead right now or scoop, but i love the emotional versatility & rhythmic variety in this one sooooo much.

favorite tracks: dead right now, thats what i want, scoop, one of me, dolla sign slime, void, & dont want it

igor – tyler, the creator

i didn't listen to a ton of tyler's stuff before igor came out, and if i remember correctly, earfquake came up on my discover weekly and it was a wrap after that lmao. i really like his other albums too, but since this was the first one i listened to in full i am particularly fond of it. it's so sad but so healing at the same time and i love love love that juxtaposition !

favorite tracks: earfquake, i think, running out of time, a boy is a gun, gone, gone / thank you, & are we still friends?

[etlunainmorte]

“May I have the honor of this dance, my lady?”

"I long to see such things as those you have probably seen. I want to experience everything and I wish to see them with my own eyes. See for myself what these poems of mine describe. But, the idea of doing those things alone,… do not please me, at all.”

“Would I be selfish if I ask you to accompany me, little wanderer?”

“Those scars,… symbolize the true enjoyment and will that you felt doing that special something you adore. Those feet, my Lady,… I would kiss,… over,… and over again,… if I could,… ”

“What matters is that you still have precious people around you, my Lady. You must focus on not losing them, as well.”

“Those feelings you have for me, I’m afraid we do not share them mutually.” 

"I do feel obliged to tell you that I’ am not the person you seem to know. I’ am neither a good person, nor a hero you consider. In fact, I’ am the villain of your story. And I, may I add, only helped you because you seem so,… useless. Why would you even take up this massive commission in the first place? You are not as half as strong as the weakest Devil Hunter here to begin with. You are just a weak human who relies on others for survival."

“I choose,… POWER!”

"ENOUGH!"

You woke up to the sound of his frightening voice that seemed to rattle the whole place. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness inside your room as you hysterically felt for the things around you. And when your cold and trembling hands reached what felt like the soft and smooth bed covers you haven't used for what seemed like ages, your heart felt like it would shatter. You know he was there, just outside your dark and suffocating room, and you knew full well that if you get up, walk to that door, and open it, you will see him.

But, at the same time, you knew you can't.

How you've wanted so much to go to him, to throw yourself at him, to embrace him, and tell him that you love him very much but, you know you can't.

"I choose,... POWER!"

Those were the words that he told you after you bore your whole, fragile heart to him. It,... hurt you, and you knew you would be lying if you said it didn't. It hurts, and you could never deny that fact.

Then, darkness. You couldn't remember anything else after that. What happened after that? And how long ago was that? A week? A month? A year?

You tried to move an inch, however, an unbelievable sensation of pain hit your mid - section, your arms, and your legs. You covered your mouth, trying to stifle the scream of horrified pain that tried to escape from it as you heard some more, incomprehensible noises outside. It seemed that he was not alone. There were others,...

... but you didn't have any idea who they were,...

... only that they sounded familiar.

With a huge amount of effort, you carefully sat up as you propped up on your elbows, still feeling the excruciating pain in your body. You carefully swung your right leg off the edge of the bed first, followed by your left one. When you felt the coldness of the floor through your toes, you slowly put your feet down, then tried to stand,...

... only for you to collapse and scramble on the floor. You swiftly covered your mouth once more and closed your eyes as you stopped yourself from screaming and crying.

Everything hurts. Everything.

You remained on the floor curled up like this as your tears fell silently from your face. Your arms on your stomach and your legs folded, you stayed there, embracing the coldness and loneliness and waiting for those ear - shattering sounds to subside. And when they finally did, you took a deep breath and tried to stand once more. It became awfully quiet but, you couldn't care less. At least, they were gone. He was gone.

And that was entirely better compared to him pushing you away and physically and emotionally hurting you yet again.

With a slight limp, you made your way towards the door, and,...

All of a sudden, you heard it - a knock. On your front door.

Your hand abruptly left the doorknob as the knock became more and more impatient. You were about to go back to your own bed, cover yourself with those heavy bed sheets, and pretend that you didn't hear anything, when you heard a familiar voice.

"Hey, V! You forgot something at the shop!"

What,... ?

Despite the pain in your stomach and limbs, you flung open the door and sped towards the front door, ignoring the mess in the living room and even failing to notice your precious antique record on the table. You grabbed the brass doorknob, flung open the door, and,...

"Whoa, Babe! You don't look so good - "

The man was startled when you threw yourself into his arms, and when he felt your body trembling as you let out those tears of agony, he couldn't help but feel even more protective towards you.

You looking so sad and broken and vulnerable,...

... it simply tore his heart apart.

He,... could not bear it!

"I'm sorry, Dante!" He heard your muffled sob. You were making his jacket wet with tears but, he didn't care.

He didn't care.

Because he only cared about you.

"I'm so sorry,..."

Wrapping his arms around your fragile frame, he said, "Why are you saying that?! You did nothing wrong, (Y/N)! You - "

"I'm sorry - !"

The man grabbed your shoulders and looked straight into your red and puffy eyes.

"Alright, babe." He told you straight in the face without so much as a hesitation. "You're coming with me."

***

I See My Future Before Me - Alternate Endings

***

***

To Dante, staying low and quiet for almost three months felt agonizing enough. He could only take small Demon hunting jobs for a while so as not to raise any suspicion. Hell, he even took a different name and went as far as Gaoltown ( where there was little to no demonic activity ) past Swan Lane where no one would recognize him. Not to mention putting Morrison in charge of Devil May Cry during his absence ( he just couldn't trust anyone, even Trish or Lady, for this ). 

Well, despite this meager choice of a lifestyle, Dante still miraculously pulled through. He often volunteered for farm work when he has no Demon hunting commissions, helping with the harvest ( people were kind enough to let him take home some fruits and vegetables after a hard day's work ) or taking care of the cattle ( the sheep were all nice to him, so were the cows but, all of the goats seemed to share the same interest of kicking him in the butt for some reason ). His new neighbors, a cute old couple ( who honestly looked like an old couple from a fairy tale ), although a bit suspicious of him at first, came to really like him, often giving him meals so he would not go out of town to procure some. The simple rural days felt so calm and peaceful, and the quiet nights felt so serene and cool, unlike the always busy and chaotic atmosphere of Red Grave.

Over time, the humble rural life of Gaoltown has grown on Dante, and soon enough, he has learned to accept his new life as a simple man with simple pleasures.

And the girl who was living with him? The people came to love her, as well, just like how they've grown to love him.

"You will take long?" You asked as you watched Dante prepare for another Demon hunting commission ( this time, a pair of Hell Judecas bothering the Gaoltown mayor's family ), confused as to the sudden change in his demeanor. Normally, his missions only lasted for a few hours, four to five, tops.

But, now, he said that the mission would take an entire day to do.

And for only a couple of Hell Judeca's? That sounded so suspicious,...

The Legendary Devil Hunter, whose skin has become tan due to many hours outside helping the neighbors with farm work, looked up and gave you that charming boyish smile. "You sound like a worried wife."

You sighed as you shook your head. "I' am worried. There are only two Demons. It shouldn't take you an hour or so." You placed the kitchen towel impatiently on top of the wooden table and stepped closer towards him. "Tell me, why do you need a whole day to do this?"

The man stood up and gently laid his callous hands on your cheeks. "And now, you sound like a jealous wife."

"Stop that, please,..." You uttered as you shook Dante's hands off and turned away from him. You went towards the window and stared at the peaceful scenery, unable to explain the sudden heaviness in your heart upon hearing those words from Dante.

A worried wife? A jealous, worried wife?

Impossible!

"Impossible,..." You whispered.

"What is?" Dante, who had preternatural hearing, being a half - Demon, and all, asked, walking towards you and placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"Nothing." You said, facing him and looking straight into his eyes. "You'll be late. Go now."

To this, Dante only scratched his head in confusion. "Alright, then. I'll see you later."

"Yeah." You answered, getting your stitch work from the sofa and picking up where you left off. "Take care."

Dante's words were still ringing quite clear into your head as the hot and lazy day passed. As usual, the grandma from next door visited you once more to bring you lunch but, this time, she also gave you some linens you might find useful later on. That little boy from the farm where Dante often helped came and read books with you again. He even gave you flowers, the adorable little thing. Said he wanted to marry you when he grew old. You even managed to finish the laundry and the rest of your chores a few minutes before twilight.

For three months, your quiet life went like this. At first, you felt uncomfortable with it, being a person who was so used to traveling and doing lots of activities. But now, the silent life felt like a blessing to your tired body and battered mind. You have learned to be content with the things you currently have, you have learned to appreciate nature even more,...

... and most importantly,...

... you now see Dante in a different light. He,... changed. And not for worse. Your three months of stay in Gaoltown has taught the both of you a lot of things, simplicity, hard work, appreciation,...

... your isolation from the rest of the people you knew has taught you how to appreciate Dante even more.

Well, not that the man has been unkind to you, no. Somehow, it felt like you haven't acknowledged the man enough for all of his hard work. He even chose this kind of life for your own well - being despite knowing all of the consequences. He even did his best in fulfilling his promise to you that no one would ever find out that you're here, hence, all that secrecy and staying low away from everyone.

And honestly? He did all that wonderfully and without a hint of the slightest hesitation.

Just for you.

Of course, the pain was still there. After all, it was evident with the scars on your body and the changes you've recently been going through. You don't want Dante to know about this but, you were feeling as though you were getting weaker and weaker as the days passed, like a battery that was getting closer to its limit. Waking up every morning and getting up from bed felt like a huge struggle, and doing simple chores took most of your strength. Hell, even your hair looked different. Most of its strands were still (H/C) but, should one make the effort of taking a closer look at it, one would surely notice the strands of silver - grey here and there.

And just now, just this morning, you felt,... different. Calmer. More at peace,...

You knew you're time was coming. And Dante being gone for a full day? It felt really frightening.

You were so scared to go without Dante by your side.

Did you learn how to love him just like how he loved you? No. Of course, you were still in love with that man, and Dante knew that. He respected that, even though it hurt him too much deep inside. It broke him.

And still, despite knowing all that, he persevered for you. He may not say it to you outright but, he knew what was going on with you. He noticed your difficulty in getting up each morning. He observed how the simplest of chores would take the most out of you. And most importantly, he knew all about your granny hair problem.

Dante knew but, he never spoke up about it.

And now, as the clock struck six in the evening, you sat in front of your door, waiting for Dante to arrive,...

... only for someone else to come.

You looked up, stood, and took a few steps back. And in shock and fright, you turned away and tried to close the door, only for the visitor to take hold of your arm.

"Hon, talk to me, please!"

"Nico, leave me alone,..."

The Artisan only tightened her grip on your arm as she forced you to look her in the eyes.

"Girl, listen to me." Nico pleaded as quietly as she could so no one would notice the two of you in such a situation. "V has been lookin' all over for ya! But, for some reason, he can't see ya! He is worried sick about ya!"

That name,...

"I - i d - don't know who you're talking about,..." You stuttered as you felt your heart being crushed all over again.

The man,... actually looking for you?

Impossible!

Impossible,...

"What?! Aww, come on! I know Dante has been hidin' ya! Morrison is way too suspicious. And I'm right! Ye're here all along!"

"Nico, can you please leave me alone?" You pleaded for the second time, avoiding her eyes so she won't see you crying. But, it was no use. Nico just wouldn't be budged.

"No! V has changed! He loves ya! He still does! And he wants the two of you to start all over again! He,... wants to make it up to ya! Right every mistake he has done,..." And as if in an effort to throw all of her trump cards at the table for her to win this battle, she desperately added, "V,... can't live without you!"

For a moment, you stopped struggling against her. You took a deep breath, and exhaled, dragging the air out of your lungs as long as possible. You wanted to calm down, you do.

Yes, you love him. You still do.

But,...

... it was too late.

"Where is he?" You asked, making your voice softer.

*

"Babe, I'm home!" Dante greeted you a few hours later as he entered the house.

"Dante, I'm right here!" You called. The man followed your voice and found you sitting on the sofa in the dark living room.

"Eh, it's too dark in here! Why don't we - ?"

"No!" You cut him off as he was about to turn on the lights. "Please."

Dante only raised his eyebrow in confusion. "O - kay?" Shrugging your strange behavior off, he brought what he was carrying to the middle of the room and placed it on the floor near the windows. "I think it's time we liven things up in here! It's getting a bit boring!"

In the darkness of the room with only the moonlight as your guide, you observed how Dante arranged and connected some wires to the thing he just brought, and a few moments later, the thing lit up, brightening the whole room.

It was a television, and connected with it was a decent dvd player that must've cost Dante a huge sum of money.

"Had to go back to Red Grave to purchase these." Dante smugly confessed. "Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't able to buy Titanic and Dracula for you. They're sold out!"

"What did you get?"

"This."

"Here's Charles Muntz piloting his famous,... "

Your eyes widened at the wonderfully colorful sight before you. 

" ... is there nothing he cannot do?! Yes! As Muntz himself says,... "

"ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE! Look out, Mount Rushmore!"

"I, ah, hope you like Pixar." Dante asked as he sat on the floor next to your form.

"It's great." He heard your simple answer. "Pixar is great."

With Dante's head on your lap, the two of you watched as the two characters interacted, how they met, and what started their romance.

"I saw where your balloon went. Come on! Let's go get it. My name is Ellie."

"I thought that's a boy!"

"Dante, it's clearly a girl."

"What? I don't get it!"

"Just watch!"

"There it is! Well, go ahead."

"Ah, I wouldn't do that if I were you, kid."

"Agh, Dante, just - !"

"Okay, okay,..."

"Go on! 

"AAAGGGHHH!"

"Told ya,..."

"Oh, poor kid,..."

"HEY, KID!"

"AHH! Ouch!"

"Thought you might need a little cheering up! I have something to show ya!"

...

"I' am about to let you see something I have never shown to another human being. EVER! In my life! You'll have to swear you will NOT tell ANYONE! Cross your heart! DO IT!"

"Aww, that's so cute."

"Really? That seems creepy to me."

"You know what's even creepier, Dante?"

"What?"

"Lady and Trish taking over your shop."

"Oh, right,..."

"MY ADVENTURE BOOK! You know him: Charles Muntz, explorer! When I get big, I'm going where he's going: South America! It's like America but, it's South!"

Dante felt a gentle hand caressing his hair, and he fought the urge to take it and kiss it.

But, somehow,...

... it felt weaker.

And you,...

... you sounded different.

"You know, you don't talk much. I LIKE YOU!"

"(Y/N),..."

"Please,..."

Dante felt his breath hitch when you prevented him from seeing your face.

What,... exactly is going on?!

"Babe, you okay?"

"Yes! As fine as I'll ever be."

"(Y/N), tell me the truth, please."

"I'm fine. Don't worry. And, Dante?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. For the television. But, really. You should've told me earlier you're gonna be late because of it."

"Ahh, you sound like a jealous wife again."

"Hmm,... maybe?"

"(Y/N)," Dante began, trying his very best to see your face but, you just wouldn't let him.

Not now.

"Babe, please, tell me what's wrong. Are you hurt? Did something happen? Did - ?"

"Dante, listen to me very carefully." With those words, the man felt your caress once more as you tried to calm him down, all the while preventing him from seeing your face. And your voice,... it sounded so,... "Thank you,... for this house."

"(Y/N),...?"

"Thank you,... for this quiet and humble life. Thank you for taking care of me. For your hard work. For accepting me into your life. For,... accepting me as I' am, flaws, quirks, everything. Thank you,... for your unconditional love."

And to those words you just uttered, Dante felt his whole world collapse before him.

He knew what you meant.

He knew.

Ah,...

"T - the screen," Dante stuttered, his voice failing him as he felt that burning sensation in his eyes once more. And he hated it. " ... it's getting blurry! I should have it changed first thing in the morning - "

"STAY." You almost yelled, your cracking voice giving you away. "Please."

And Dante couldn't do anything.

"I - i'm sorry." The man cried. "I,... f - failed you! I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm so sorry,..."

"No! You didn't! You did,... wonderfully. And you sound like I'm gonna leave you. That hurts."

"Aren't you?"

"Who told you?"

"Well,..."

You hummed as you bent and wrapped the man in your arms. "I'm not gonna leave you, Dante. I,... might be,... going somewhere,... but, my spirit will stay with you. I will continue to watch over you. I will stay with you,... for as long as it takes. I will never,... leave your side."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

The man felt your soft lips ghost the top of his head, and this only made him hold onto the fragile arms wrapped around him even tighter. He would cherish this moment, this very moment, for as long as he lived.

For as long as he breathed.

"Let's watch, Dante Sparda."

"Alright, (Y/N) (L/N)."

***

❤ @la-vita and @clevermentalitybeliever . ❤

***

A few hours earlier,...

"Where is he?" You asked, making your voice softer.

"Somewhere!" Nico answered. "He could see us right now. He could hear us."

You smiled. "If he could hear me, then,..." You cleared your throat and made your voice a bit louder despite your failing lungs. "Listen very carefully, V.

"I,... love you. I still do. And I missed you so much. So much it hurts. I still love you,… despite everything. I tried to get you out of my mind, to forget that I've known you. To forget that I have fallen deeply in love with you for the very short time we've been together. And it hurts,... so much,... to know that I will not be able to see you again, that I will not be able to talk to you again. That I will never hear your voice again as you read to me your favorite poems.

"If I could only go back in time, I would prevent all the pain and suffering from happening. I will tell you to run as far away as you can from that place. I don’t care what happens to Red Grave! I will,... save the both of us from that huge blunder. Maybe then, we could start all over again, to get to know each other again. Maybe we could take another shot at it.

"But, it is too late. I'm,... dying, V. Very soon, I will leave this world, and you will be left devastated. However, you have a wonderful life ahead of you. So,... go. Do everything that I told you: travel the whole world, watch all kinds of movies, eat popcorn and lots of junk food, go fishing and catch a boot, win the stuff tiger. See the world that your poems describe. Go,... and do all of those with the person you will love and cherish,... until the end.

"And I? I will stay with the person who gave me unconditional love. I will stay with the person who didn't give up on me despite everything. I will stay with him,... until my last breath.

"I will stay with Dante, until tonight when I close my eyes and enter eternal slumber.

"I love you, V. Now go,... and live a life you'll be proud of."

***

❤❤❤

***

[etlunainmorte]

🖤 I See My Future Before Me 🖤

***

“May I have the honor of this dance, my lady?”

"I long to see such things as those you have probably seen. I want to experience everything and I wish to see them with my own eyes. See for myself what these poems of mine describe. But, the idea of doing those things alone,… do not please me, at all.”

“Would I be selfish if I ask you to accompany me, little wanderer?”

“Those scars,… symbolize the true enjoyment and will that you felt doing that special something you adore. Those feet, my Lady,… I would kiss,… over,… and over again,… if I could,… ”

“What matters is that you still have precious people around you, my Lady. You must focus on not losing them, as well.”

“Those feelings you have for me, I’m afraid we do not share them mutually.” 

"I do feel obliged to tell you that I’ am not the person you seem to know. I’ am neither a good person, nor a hero you consider. In fact, I’ am the villain of your story. And I, may I add, only helped you because you seem so,… useless. Why would you even take up this massive commission in the first place? You are not as half as strong as the weakest Devil Hunter here to begin with. You are just a weak human who relies on others for survival."

“I choose,… POWER!”

"ENOUGH!"

You woke up to the sound of his frightening voice that seemed to rattle the whole place. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness inside your room as you hysterically felt for the things around you. And when your cold and trembling hands reached what felt like the soft and smooth bed covers you haven't used for what seemed like ages, your heart felt like it would shatter. You know he was there, just outside your dark and suffocating room, and you knew full well that if you get up, walk to that door, and open it, you will see him.

But, at the same time, you knew you can't.

How you've wanted so much to go to him, to throw yourself at him, to embrace him, and tell him that you love him very much but, you know you can't.

"I choose,... POWER!"

Those were the words that he told you after you bore your whole, fragile heart to him. It,... hurt you, and you knew you would be lying if you said it didn't. It hurts, and you could never deny that fact.

Then, darkness. You couldn't remember anything else after that. What happened after that? And how long ago was that? A week? A month? A year?

You tried to move an inch, however, an unbelievable sensation of pain hit your mid - section, your arms, and your legs. You covered your mouth, trying to stifle the scream of horrified pain that tried to escape from it as you heard some more, incomprehensible noises outside. It seemed that he was not alone. There were others,...

... but you didn't have any idea who they were,...

... only that they sounded familiar.

With a huge amount of effort, you carefully sat up as you propped up on your elbows, still feeling the excruciating pain in your body. You carefully swung your right leg off the edge of the bed first, followed by your left one. When you felt the coldness of the floor through your toes, you slowly put your feet down, then tried to stand,...

... only for you to collapse and scramble on the floor. You swiftly covered your mouth once more and closed your eyes as you stopped yourself from screaming and crying.

Everything hurts. Everything.

You remained on the floor curled up like this as your tears fell silently from your face. Your arms on your stomach and your legs folded, you stayed there, embracing the coldness and loneliness and waiting for those ear - shattering sounds to subside. And when they finally did, you took a deep breath and tried to stand once more. It became awfully quiet but, you couldn't care less. At least, they were gone. He was gone.

And that was entirely better compared to him pushing you away and physically and emotionally hurting you yet again.

With a slight limp, you made your way towards the door, and,...

All of a sudden, you heard it - a knock. On your front door.

Your hand abruptly left the doorknob as the knock became more and more impatient. You were about to go back to your own bed, cover yourself with those heavy bed sheets, and pretend that you didn't hear anything, when you heard a familiar voice.

"(Y/N)? It's me! Are you there?!"

It's her!

Despite the pain in your stomach and limbs, you flung open the door and sped towards the front door, ignoring the mess in the living room and even failing to notice your precious antique record on the table. You grabbed the brass doorknob, flung open the door, and,...

"(Y/N)?!" She said, looking so shocked upon seeing your appearance. "What happened to - ?!"

But, your friend wasn't able to finish her sentence as you threw yourself at her and cried your miserable little heart out. Your friend wrapped you in her arms and allowed you to let it all out on her despite not knowing the things that happened to you.

"T - take me," you sobbed. " ... away from here! P - please, Patty. P - please!"

***

XXXIII

***

You stared at your tired face in the mirror of the bathroom, pulling at a particularly dark and large bag under one of your eyes with a finger and looking at the pale flesh underneath it.

With a frown, you left your eye and looked closely at your hollow cheeks. You clicked your tongue as you noticed that they've gotten a bit thinner in just a few days. But, what really caught your attention was the few strands of hair that covered your forehead. You reach out with your right hand, brushing your hair with your fingers and slicking it up to confirm your suspicion,...

... and you were right. You were a hundred percent sure that there were only a few about two weeks ago but, now, it almost covered half of your head.

White hair. Or more accurately, silver - grey hair.

You couldn't help but sigh as you let your hair go. You slightly stepped away from the mirror and grabbed your shirt from the counter, putting it over your head and wearing it, covering the large, ugly scar on your stomach. Then, you grabbed your sweat pants and wore it, effectively concealing the equally huge and ugly scars on your thighs. Finally, you went back to your bedroom and grabbed your long - sleeved turtle neck from your bed post, wearing it and covering those bruise - like scars on your arms.

Tying the end of your long hair and tossing it to your back, you finally went out as much as you hated it. And only then did your day begin.

You were like that for nearly three months after you left Red Grave, and it was rather safe to say that during that period of time, you have easily become an angst magnet with legs who only eats, breathes, and sleeps, somehow.

Somehow. Not to mention your tears' nasty habit of pouring from your already tired and battered eyes every night before sleeping.

During those first few weeks of crying, the only things that came to your mind were the torturous thoughts and painful memories of what happened between you and him. The moment your mind made the huge mistake of conjuring his image, you couldn't help those awful tears from coming out. Hell, you even thought that you could never move on from that. 

But, alas, you were wrong. 

For the next few weeks after those angst - riddled sessions of crying, well, you still cried. Not only because you could still perfectly remember how he looked like and how his voice sounded like after all those weeks ago, no. It was because you felt yourself and the world around you getting heavier and heavier, and as each day and night passed, you felt yourself getting weaker and weaker to the point of breaking down. Your wounds were not healing as opposed to those times when they healed in a heartbeat. Your agility seemed to have deserted you, and the happiness, if there was any, that was left in your heart seemed to have abandoned you, as well. You were getting thinner by the day, and now, oh, fuck, now, you have white hair. Yes, your once thick and lustrous (H/C) hair was rapidly turning white. Which could only mean one, no, two things.

Number one: he was able to obtain the entities inside you that gave you immense power and kept you immortal for ten whole years.

And number two: now that these entities were gone, you were rapidly getting weaker, kind of like a side effect after all those years of taking in all the damage that should've ended your life in a heartbeat.

No, weaker was the more gentle way of describing what was happening to your body.

If you were totally being honest with yourself, you would admit that, yes, you were rapidly, and alarmingly, getting older.

But, who cares, anyway? After all, nobody would even notice. All those years of doing good to others did nothing to alleviate your pain. All those years of saving others did nothing to save yourself from your inevitable fate.

All those times, and effort, and years, of crossing the oceans and exerting your body to its limit and beyond just for that one mission, and that one man, that, you thought, could save you from your own misery and give you the future you, so, craved for, did nothing to ease your slowly dying heart and stop your abnormal aging.

You shook your head as you chuckled at the thought.

No, you were not simply getting weaker or older. You were dying, and you knew it.

But, when?

Ah, it didn't matter, did it?

"It doesn't matter anymore." You whispered as you absent - mindedly stared at the spoonful of cereal that was drowning in cream before your very eyes.

"Ah, sorry?" Patty, who was at the other end of the table, also eating cereal, asked as she peeled her eyes off the television.

You put the spoon in your mouth and ate the cereal, smiling as you did so. "Nothing." You muttered after swallowing the food.

The young, blonde woman raised a questioning eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Perfectly fine." You lamely replied as you took another spoonful of the sugary breakfast.

And this made Patty even more worried than ever before.

Ever since seeing you injured and broken like that, Patty had no other choice but to yield to your selfish request of being taken away from that place. And how could she ever refuse you? Not when you cried and begged like that, no.

Still, it was so hard for Patty to see you like that: crying your eyes out for nights on end until you fall asleep, refusing food most of the time, hell, even refusing to go outside and enjoy the sun. During those torturous months, she witnessed how your voice became hoarse and your throat worn out due to constant crying, she saw how your once healthy body changed drastically due to self - imposed starvation, she even watched helplessly as the sweet face of her friend morphed into something that was truly unrecognizable.

Depressed, unhealthy, and perpetually tired,...

... this is the (Y/N) that she never thought she'd see in her entire life.

And Patty knew, sensed, the cause of all this life - threatening sadness. You may not have uttered a single word about it, and she never forced you to, but the way you stopped listening to old love songs ( she once saw you turning off the radio at the first lyrics of the song, End Of The World ), the way you ignored the movies you once adored watching with her ( and that was Titanic she was talking about ), and the way you changed the topic at the mere mention of the word love ( once, she hasn't even finished saying the accursed word when you cut her off by introducing the topic of weather, of all things ), she became a hundred percent sure,...

... a certain man,...

... had the audacity to break your heart,...

... to the point of angst, anxiety, and depression.

Of course, upon realizing this, Patty did the best that she could to cheer you up. As much as you hated it, she forced you to have movie marathons with her just to keep you from crying each night ( she chose horror and gore, of all things ), made you do some crazy and unnecessary stuff with her to keep you preoccupied ( like eating a whole tub of ice cream by yourselves, making all kinds of DIY crafts from the internet, and doing make up tutorials, to which you were both horrible at ), and even made you compile hundreds upon hundreds of Dante's stolen shots that she took into one scrapbook just for the sake of fun ( and some did make you laugh, to be honest, like that one where he was giving himself a pep talk in front of the mirror, or that one where he was wearing mismatched socks ). She did everything she could think of just to help you divert your mind off the thoughts of whatever happened to you with that certain man.

And obviously? You only got worse.

And Patty could not take any of this, any more.

"Okay, that's it." The blonde said as she stood up and made her way towards you. She sat on the chair next to you and practically snatched the spoon from your hand just to get your attention. And she was successful.

"Patty - "

"(Y/N), listen to me," Patty began, cutting you off the moment you tried to complain as she grabbed your shoulders. " ... I know it's hard. I know how hard it feels when someone you love left you - "

"Wait, I - !"

"NO! Stop talking for a while and listen to me!" Patty almost screamed. "I mean, you've cried enough for him! You've neglected yourself far enough! Look at you! You barely eat, barely sleep,...

"(Y/N), you've gone too far, and I hate seeing you like this! I want you to move on! Forget him! Live for your own sake! Please!"

You understood your friend perfectly. You knew that Patty only wanted the best for you, and you could understand perfectly well that, due to your carelessness within the last few months, you have unnecessarily made the girl worried. 

And you felt really guilty about it.

With a sheepish smile, you gently took her hands off your shoulders and clasped them together, keeping them joined with your own. You bowed your head down low and placed your forehead on top of your clasped hands as you let your emotions take over you.

"(Y/N) - "

"How I wish I could tell you everything. But, I know it won't be that easy." You told her as you looked up once more. "So, I'll just show you." You simply said as you stood up, letting Patty's hands go as you gestured towards the empty drawing room you spent the most time in during your stay in the Lowell Villa. It was a beautiful room, actually, with smooth wooden floors, cream - colored ceiling, pastel wallpaper - covered walls, and a pair of huge glass doors that allowed one to view the breathtaking island, its white sand, exotic trees and flowers, and the ocean, itself.

If things were normal, you might have enjoyed sunbathing there. You might even consider making a sandcastle of your own, one with pointed roofs and numerous windows, complete with a guardian dragon. You could also easily see yourself taking a dive in that astounding blue sea, then staring at the coast from afar. Or simply enough, you could picture yourself collecting all kinds of seashells buried there on the fine, white sand, just waiting to be found.

However, things were different for you. And difficult.

You knew you could no longer enjoy the simple things of being a normal human, and you knew it's too late for you to even enjoy it now. Your time was running out, and you finally decided to let your friend take a look of what you have become before it's too late. You owed her, and you don't want her to keep guessing. You must tell her the truth, no matter how difficult it was.

And when you grabbed the edge of your long - sleeved shirt, pulling it over your head and taking it off, removed the shirt underneath, and took off your sweatpants, leaving only your underwear, Patty could not help but gasp at the terrible state of your body. Almost skeletal and extremely pale, skin dry and slightly cracking, not to mention those unspeakable bruises on your limbs and stomach that looked as if you were skewered by something really sharp and huge, Patty immediately sensed the horror of what you've been through during your time in Red Grave.

The young, blonde woman shook her head and closed her mouth as tears streamed down her pretty face, unable to believe her own eyes at the pitiful and horrifying sight before her.

However, the pain of finally seeing you has only just begun.

"There was a time," you began as you positioned yourself in the middle of the room. " ... when I lived as carefree as anyone could." You said, then raised your arms and brought them down to your face. Patty realized that you have began dancing. But,... "I was very powerful. I thought nothing could defeat me." Something was wrong,... "But, I'm wrong. For these powers,"

Something,... was definitely wrong.

As Patty watched you moved, she noticed how,... raw,... your movements were. Almost as if,...

" ... they are not mine. They are for someone else."

And she was right. For the moment she saw you struggle with the moves, and jumps, and twirls that should've been a piece of cake to you before all this, she finally realized,...

... you have completely lost the ability to dance.

"I have searched,... for such a long time for this person." You went on. "I have waited,... longer. Far longer. Then, I found him. And I,...made a mistake." You stumbled one more time and tripped, hitting your head on the floor. But, you don't care. Still, you stood and went on. "I,... fell in love with him. Fell in love,... with the man,... who never cared in the first place. And when he took my powers for his own,... along with it, he took my heart,... he took my soul,... 

" ... he took,... my life.

" ... but, I'm here. And still alive. But, I'm dying. Slowly and painfully dying. He took my strength,... and in return,... I took away his pain,... and his death,… and made them my own."

And after one last fall, you remained lying on the floor for a few moments. Too exhausted to go on dancing, you slowly and carefully sat up, allowing yourself to calm down and relax.

"No matter how much I try to deny it, no matter how much I hide the truth, the fact still remains." You said as you looked up at Patty. "One of these days, and it won't be long. You'll call my name, and I'll be gone. And when I do," You stood up and went over to your friend, who was now silently crying. " ... I want you to remember me how I was, and not like this." You, then, wrapped your arms around her and allowed her to let all the tears out on your shoulders. "I don't know how long I have left but, when the time comes, that's it."

"Please tell me you're lying!" Patty sobbed. "Tell me this is all a nightmare! Tell me this is not real!"

Your emotions overwhelmed you the moment you felt your friend's body trembling against yours. You closed your eyes and held her tighter. "Hey, at least there will be one less ugly burden in the world."

"(Y/N), YOU'RE NOT A BURDEN! STOP LYING TO ME! SAY YOU'LL WATCH MORE MOVIES WITH ME! SAY YOU'LL AGREE TO MAKE DANTE COME TO ALL OF MY BIRTHDAY PARTIES! SAY WE'LL GROW OLD TOGETHER AND LAUGH AT HOW SILLY WE LOOK AS OLD AND WRINKLED WOMEN! (Y/N), PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE!"

The tears just flowed and flowed, and you allowed it. You allowed the emotion to overwhelm you for the very last time. You even ignored how your heart twitched in pain at the prospect of dying alone without having to enjoy your own life at its fullest.

Well, you did fulfill your mission.

It just wasn't your idea to be a disposable vessel.

And just then, a silly idea came to your mind. You made Patty look at you and pinched her cheeks.

"Ouch! Hey - !"

"Cut my hair, will you? I want to look as fashionable as you." You smiled at her as you pointed at her stylish pixie cut hair ( she ditched the long curls the moment she hit the legal age ).

"(Y/N), I don't think that's - "

"Come on!" You smiled gingerly at her as you emphasized how ugly your hair was. "Do it for me, please?"

A few moments later ( and after putting your clothes on ), you were made to sit on a chair as Patty brushed your hair and started parting it.

"How short do you want it to be?" She asked you.

"Up to you." You answered.

"Okay. I won't cut it too short, though."

"I leave everything to you."

Patty sighed as she started cutting parts of your long hair, letting its (H/C) strands fall on the smooth floor of the drawing room.

"I must say, I really envy you, (Y/N)."

"What?! Why?"

"Because you have long and shiny hair! And you're just letting me chop all this beauty,..."

"My hair? Beautiful? Come on! Look at it now! I would even bet you everything I have to prove to you that it's,... hey, Patty?" You called as the girl stopped cutting your hair for a brief moment. And as you were about to look up, Patty held your temples firmly to keep you from moving. "Hey!"

"Umm, (Y/N)?"

"Yeah?"

"If he is here right now, what would you tell him?" She asked you in a slightly different tone that you didn't really take notice of.

"Why would you ask that now? It's pointless! He is probably somewhere in the other part of the globe, having loads of fun and forgetting everything about me - "

"(Y/N), I'm serious here!" Patty interjected. "You don't want to go without letting it all out, right? I mean, if you wanted to say anything, now is the time. Not later, not tomorrow, now. What would you say to him if he is here right now?"

" ... nothing." You simply whispered. And could anyone really blame you? If he's here right now, would he even lend an ear to you after everything that went on between the two of you?

You heard Patty sigh behind you. "Okay, let's do this one more time. If I'm him, what would you say to me?"

What's with this girl all of a sudden? "Alright! Alright! Since you're insisting, I might as well tell you.

"How are you doing? Are you,... uhh,... eating well? Sleeping well? I hope you're not,... doing anything rash and careless,..."

"Yes, and?" Patty prodded on.

You sighed and went on. "Umm, whatever happened between us in the past, I want you to forget everything. Live freely on your own, do everything you can to make yourself as happy as anyone could be. I want you to forget about me,... and go on. Find,... someone else who is,... worthy of your love and protection."

There was a moment of silence as Patty stopped cutting your hair for a while. Then, she combed through your hair once more as she parted them again in the middle. "Is that what you really wanted to say? Forget about everything? Forget about you? Find another person to love?"

You felt your eyes widen as they started to sting, yet again, with your raw emotions. You closed your eyes and simply let those tears fall.

"I'm so tired of pretending that everything's okay." You whispered, your head bowed down low, and your tears falling onto your neatly folded hands on your lap. With a deep breath and a sob, you finally let it all out. "I missed you so much, V! So much, it hurts. I still love you,… despite everything. I tried to get you out of my mind, to forget that I've known you. To forget that I have fallen deeply in love with you for the very short time we've been together. And it hurts,... so much,... to know that I will not be able to see you again, that I will not be able to talk to you again. That I will never hear your voice again as you read to me your favorite poems.

"If I could only go back in time, I would prevent all the pain and suffering from happening. I will tell you to run as far away as you can from that place. I don’t care what happens to Red Grave! I will,... save the both of us from that huge blunder. Maybe then, we could start all over again, to get to know each other again. Maybe we could take another shot at it.

"But, I know that everything is inevitable. I have,... fulfilled my mission for you. I gave you back what you rightfully own. And I know that this is irreversible.

"I,... love you,... so much, V. But, please, go away from me. I don't want you to see me looking like this, going rapidly old, skin crumbling, dying. I will accept that someday, you would find the perfect person to love and protect until your last breath. I would even accept that someday, you will forget about me and everything that happened between us.

"So,... go. Do everything that I told you: travel the whole world, watch all kinds of movies, eat popcorn and lots of junk food, go fishing and catch a boot, win the stuff tiger. See the world that your poems describe. Go,... and do all of those with the person you will love and cherish,... until the end.

"And I'm so,... sorry. For everything. For all the hurt. I'm sorry."

You sighed deeply, unable to believe how wonderful it felt to truly let everything out. Your chest heaving up and down in a rhythmic pattern, your whole body finally relaxing, you closed your eyes,...

... and smiled.

"Goodbye, V. I will,... never bother you,... anymore."

"There. You look perfect." Patty answered, seemingly in jest, a few seconds later as she brushed the hair off your shoulders. "Could you stand up for me, please?"

You did so, your head feeling a bit lighter. You reached up with your hands and felt for your now shoulder - length hair.

And it felt really nice.

"Could you please, turn around so I could see you?"

You slowly turned, and,...

***

🖤 Again, a special thanks to @harlot-of-oblivion for teaching me how to convey some important messages with the flower language. 🖤

🖤 @la-vita , @gothghoulfrend , @micaelagua , @yepps , @ceruleanworld , @vergils-daughter , @beyond-the-mirror , @diabeticsugarush , @shadowrosess , @lessy86 , @bettybattaglia , @heaven-on-a-landslide , and @krazy06 . 🖤

***

There was a moment of silence as Patty stopped cutting (Y/N)'s hair for a while. Then, she combed through her hair as she parted them in the middle. "Is that what you really wanted to say? Forget about everything? Forget about you? Find another person to love?" She asked.

Her head bowed down low and her shoulders slightly trembling, she answered with an achingly weak and vulnerable voice. 

"I'm so tired of pretending that everything's okay. missed you so much, V! So much, it hurts. I still love you,… despite everything. I tried to get you out of my mind, to forget that I've known you. To forget that I have fallen deeply in love with you for the very short time we've been together. And it hurts,... so much,... to know that I will not be able to see you again, that I will not be able to talk to you again. That I will never hear your voice again as you read to me your favorite poems.

"If I could only go back in time, I would prevent all the pain and suffering from happening. I will tell you to run as far away as you can from that place. I don’t care what happens to Red Grave! I will,... save the both of us from that huge blunder. Maybe then, we could start all over again, to get to know each other again. Maybe we could take another shot at it.

"But, I know that everything is inevitable. I have,... fulfilled my mission for you. I gave you back what you rightfully own. And I know that this is irreversible.

"I,... love you,... so much, V. But, please, go away from me. I don't want you to see me looking like this, going rapidly old, skin crumbling, dying. I will accept that someday, you would find the perfect person to love and protect until your last breath. I would even accept that someday, you will forget about me and everything that happened between us.

"So,... go. Do everything that I told you: travel the whole world, watch all kinds of movies, eat popcorn and lots of junk food, go fishing and catch a boot, win the stuff tiger. See the world that your poems describe. Go,... and do all of those with the person you will love and cherish,... until the end.

"And I'm so,... sorry. For everything. For all the hurt. I'm sorry.

"Goodbye, V. I will,... never bother you,... anymore."

Patty slowly turned behind her after those words that her friend uttered. Then, she turned back and brushed the hair off (Y/N)'s shoulders. "There. You look perfect." And she's not lying. The girl looked,... perfect. "Could you stand up for me, please?" Patty waited for (Y/N) to stand and watched as she felt for her brand new hair style. "Could you please, turn around so I could see you?"

She slowly turned, and,...

... her eyes widened in shock at the familiar figure standing before her,...

... of a person,… a man,... she thought she would never see or hear from,... ever again,...

“One of these days, and it won’t be long,

You’ll call my name and I’ll be gone,

Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well.

... and so,... thee came,..."

***

🖤🖤🖤

***