stef-rambles - Tumblr blog

[stef-rambles]

[stef-rambles]

she's tired, but she's strong because she still gets up every morning

she's drained, but she's strong because she keeps on giving

she's growing numb, but she's strong because she keeps on smiling and laughing

she's not enjoying the things anymore that usually bring her joy, but she's strong because she keeps on doing them

she's slowly falling apart, but she's strong because she still looks put together

she's not herself anymore, but she's strong because she's still the same for everyone around her

she's not okay, but she's strong because she doesn't show it

she's strong, no doubt, going through all those hard times and yet, she keeps getting up and giving and smiling and going on and pretending

but did you know...

did you know that she's tired because she had to be strong and still get up every morning?

did you know that she's drained because she had to be strong and kept on giving?

did you know that she's growing numb because she had to be strong and kept on smiling and laughing?

did you know that she's not enjoying the things anymore that usually bring her joy because she had to be strong and kept on doing them?

did you know that she's slowly falling apart because she had to be strong and still look put together?

did you know that she's not herself anymore because she had to be strong and still be the same for everyone around her?

did you know that she's not okay because she had to be strong and not show it?

did you know that... that she's not strong anymore?

did you know that... that she's tired and drained and numb and not enjoying the things that bring her joy and that she's falling apart and not herself and not okay anymore?

did you know that...?

if that's the price for being called strong, she doesn't want to be strong anymore

she rather be weak and fragile because maybe then...

maybe then... people would care a bit more

maybe then... people would notice all those things slowly weakening her

maybe then... she would be a tiny bit happier and not feeling so alone and lost anymore

[stef-rambles]

okay but like, this has been haunting me all day yesterday already, alas why I had to at least write it out somehow, and today it's not better, so I'm well aware I'll have to turn it into a fic at one point but like... brain not properly braining rn bc burnt out, so....... how?!

*sighs in frustration* 😩

CW suggestive language and mentions of doing the do (nsfw), pls read at your own discretion

so...

ratiorine ewb (enemies with benefits), in the middle of doing it — but this time ratio is gentler than usual, taking his time and mostly concentrating on aventurine's pleasure, altho still very much overstimulating him and simply continuing to have his way with the blonde, while also saying things like "you're so beautiful" or "you're mine, only mine" and even kinda confessing that he actually fell for aventurine at one point— and he does it all rather casually while they're still in the middle of it

but for aventurine, it only sinks in a few days later during one of his gambling sprees as he thinks back to that encounter, which causes him to freeze and then panic, and hence, ignoring ratio for the following days and even weeks

and then— ratio thinking that aventurine has now finally gone insane as they meet by accident and the blonde just flees as if he's seen a ghost, stammering something about having an urgent mission he's gotta leave for immediately— just bc he's still very much shaken by the fact that he'd actually smiled broadly and felt giddy as he first remembered what ratio said before he went into panic mode 😌

[stef-rambles]

CW suggestive language and mentions of doing the do (nsfw), pls read at your own discretion

so...

ratiorine ewb (enemies with benefits), in the middle of doing it — but this time ratio is gentler than usual, taking his time and mostly concentrating on aventurine's pleasure, altho still very much overstimulating him and simply continuing to have his way with the blonde, while also saying things like "you're so beautiful" or "you're mine, only mine" and even kinda confessing that he actually fell for aventurine at one point— and he does it all rather casually while they're still in the middle of it

but for aventurine, it only sinks in a few days later during one of his gambling sprees as he thinks back to that encounter, which causes him to freeze and then panic, and hence, ignoring ratio for the following days and even weeks

and then— ratio thinking that aventurine has now finally gone insane as they meet by accident and the blonde just flees as if he's seen a ghost, stammering something about having an urgent mission he's gotta leave for immediately— just bc he's still very much shaken by the fact that he'd actually smiled broadly and felt giddy as he first remembered what ratio said before he went into panic mode 😌

[stef-rambles]

[stef-rambles]

yet another one of stef's "what if" thoughts before going to sleep \o/

what if...

...the gem imbedded on Alhaitham's chest glows when he's excited or happy or even aroused — simply when he experiences any kind of positive emotion but people think it means he's extra cranky and pissed off bc he scowls more than usual 🤔

and!

...it glows the brightest whenever the General Mahamatra is around or they're interacting, so people are convinced they hate each other with a passion when in fact—

it's the exact opposite and only Cyno knows, who secretly smirks to himself whenever he notices it 😌

[stef-rambles]

it's honestly still super baffling to me how fast people just forget about you, especially if you're not the one reaching out first (or even if you do, which is even worse then)

but that's just what happens with unimportant stuff, I guess

it gets forgotten

[stef-rambles]

today's one of those days again; I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and people just can't find anything about me that's likeable, as if I'm constantly doing or saying something wrong...

or I'm simply being taken for granted

dunno which one's worse tbh

[stef-rambles]

modern au in which neuvillette is still a judge but during the next trial he freezes to the spot, with eyes wide as saucers and mouth hanging open, the moment the defendant enters the hall and immediately shoots him a lopsided smirk the moment their eyes meet

he's the one slip-up in life he made, none other than neuvillette's one-night-stand from a few weeks ago, the guy who never left his mind ever since...

wriothesley

[stef-rambles]

the pressing urge to share a snippet of what I'm writing rn but I just know I'll jinx it if I do 😩😭

*sighs before silently going back to writing* 😒

[stef-rambles]

hello selfdoubt, my old friend.

it's really *not* nice to see you again and especially not now, right before the end of this already exhausting and stressful year.

please stop making me feel like a failure and like I don't deserve nice things, I beg you.

[stef-rambles]

catching up on drawing wriolette (11/20) rise and shine your grace, someone's waiting 🐉

[stef-rambles]

Wriothesley, in the middle of a conversation with Neuvillette: "fuck me if I'm wrong but–"

Neuvillette, interrupting him without looking up from his papers: "you're wrong."

Wriothesley: "e-eh...?" 😅

Neuvillette, now intently staring at Wriothesley with narrowed eyes: "I said, you're wrong, Wriothesley."

Wriothesley: 😳

[stef-rambles]

watching a vid about Chucky the Doll as the new k!ll3r in DBD yesterday probably gave me the weirdest brainfart I've had lately and I needa share it with you guys... xD

just as a small heads up; characters are way OOC, I'm very well aware of it, this is just a fun little idea I had and wanted to share

DBD AU with my four fav genshin idiots (lovingly) Alhaitham, Cyno, Neuvillette, and Wriothesley but instead of them all being calm and collected as they usually are, imagine them all nearly shitting their pants and turning into whimpering, in the corner sitting and rocking their bodies back and forth, wide-eyed staring, and trembling, horror-stricken messes after getting a glimpse of the k!ll3r, who's actually a short Doll (totally not thinking of Scara, dunno what you’re talking about) running around and lurking in the shadows to hunt them down

bc I can totally imagine Scara doing just that, spewing stuff like “don’t chicken out now!” and “where are you assholes?” or “you’re mine!” and “that’s what you get when you play with dolls!” or “gotcha! you dumb shit!” while viciously laughing as he scampers through high grass, holding a knife almost the same size as himself, just to get a thrill out of seeing the others being absolutely terrified outta their minds xD

[stef-rambles]

been seeing lots of artists, writers, and other creatives in general justifying themselves lately for enjoying the content or ships they like and I'm...

*sighs dramatically*

honestly... I'm a bit sad about it bc since when does anyone need to justify themselves for liking the things they like?

since when do I need to explain myself for liking a ship of two characters who never met once in canon? if I like them as a ship, then there's that on that. it doesn't have to have a deeper meaning, I just like them together. easy as that.

same goes for shipping characters bc they simply look good together, doesn't matter if based on aesthetics, size difference, or bc of whatever other reason that makes a person think "I think they're neat, I'll ship them"

since when does anyone need to justify themselves for that?

exactly. they don't.

and they shouldn't either

ship whatever tickles your fancy, whatever waters your crops, ship what makes your heart race, whatever brings you joy and happiness, and please, for the love of the universe, do not justify yourself for it, people don't have to like the same things as you do and that's okay. you're free to ship whoever you want.

just do it.

go on!

ship the barely 5'6" character with the 6'4" tall hunk bc they feed your size difference kink!

ship the mid 20 yo. with the almost double their age character bc it fits perfectly in your age gap agenda!

ship the rivaling mafia bosses or the hero with the villain bc enemies to lovers is your top favorite trope of them all!

ship the grumpy asshole with the ever so bright and positive sunshine bc you adore how they complete each other and it makes your heart happy!

do what you want and enjoy what makes you feel comfortable and 👏 DON'T 👏 JUSTIFY 👏 IT 👏

bc you don't need to. you good. you're valid.

what matters is that you're happy ^_~

<3

[stef-rambles]

Telling myself this every day here's a meme

[stef-rambles]

neuwriolette but make them both dragons 🐉

they sometimes go fly in the dark of the night in their dragon forms and people who see them wonder who they are, totally mesmerized by their imposing beauty, brilliant blues and iridescent whites reflecting the moonlight and the stars from above

and when Neuvillette hears anyone whispering about them during the day, he just smirks happily to himself, remembering all the nights there were and looking forward to the ones that are yet to come