#like i said i didnt even fucking notice them i found the book flowed. you might even say. like smooth honeym

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Maybe its because i am used to both Tumblr and Academic Writing but tbh. I didnt even NOTICE ( let alone mind) the alleged frequent "run on sentences" in The Starless Sea i've seen other people complain about

[mtfstuff]

David was really mad. His dad had promised weeks ago to help him oresent his school project. But when the day came, he had no time. David almost failed the project and wanted to get revenge. But the revenge he got was different than he thought.

Bzzzz. Beep. Beep. Beep.

David turned off his alarm clock. It was project presentation day. He worked all day and night on it to get a good grade. This could be his ticket to go to university in some years.

He stood up, got dressed and left his room. He went downstairs to eat breakfast, but he found something else. His dad had just opened the front door to leave to work.

"Wait, dad. You said you would drive me to school?", David said.

"I'm... I'm sorry, bean. There is an emergency at work. I have to leave now.", his dad Brandon said.

"But who will bring me to school then?"

"Eh,... maybe a friend of yours can take you with him. Jay, eventually. I really have to go. Love you, and good luck with your project."

He left and the door closed.

David just stood there, motionless. He couldnt believe that his dad just left.

Breakfast was quickly made by him, as je was messaging Jay: Hey, could you take me with you to school.

Not a long time until the answer came: Sorry, I cant.

David had to dress quickly as he was almost to late to walk to school. He grabbed his presentation and left the house.

Back at home, David was angry. He almost didnt manage to arrive early to present his project. He still passed but it is unknown if he will get a ticket to go to university.

Its his fathers mess, his fault, David thought.

He went into his room and wanted to relieve some steam. He undressed himself, laid on his bed, took his rod and jerked off hard.

He thought about how he could get his revenge on his dad. Slashing tires so that hes to late at work? Nah, too expensive. Stealing some clothes so that he to search them and be late for work? Could work. David got hard only thinking about his father in his suits. Yeah, David could really take some of them and of his dress shoes. That would teach him a lesson, as this would be comparable to what he had to go through today.

He fantasized about his father running naked through their house searching for his clothes.

Oh god, thats wrong, David quickly thought. He never even had seen his father shirtless, how could he even imagine him running around naked. Also, isnt it wrong to have fantasies about his own dad?, David asked himself. Maybe these were just one of his gay urges he developed over the last few months as he discovered his sexuality.

To get these fantasies out of his head, he stopped jerking off and got off of his bed. But even though he felt like he was standing, he noticed that his feet didnt touch the ground. As he was looking down, he couldnt believe that he was floating.

David started to test his new form out. He leaned against the wall not thinking about falling through it, but exactly that happened. As he came out of the wall the books on the shelf he float through were slightly shaking.

"Wow, I have a slight impact on my surroundings.", David exclaimed. "Lets see what else I can do."

He went over to the kitchen and started to experiment. He tried to lift up objects or to move them by phasing through them.

Then, the front door opened. His father was back from work.

"David, I'm back home. I'm sorry for what happened this morning.", he shouted as he closed the door.

He listened.

"David are you here? Is everything okay?"

David panicked. His dad shouldnt see his unconscious body laying on his bed, jerking off. He went over to his dad who walked towards Davids room.

David tried to pull his father away, but for his surprise, he felt how he got sucked into his father.

His dad, Brandon, fell moaning to the ground as Davids spirit got sucked into his body and overtook control. His body stopped shaking as Brandon managed to stand up. Hands on his knees and out of breath, he didnt know what had happened.

"Holy fuck, that felt awesome!", David exclaimed, instantly recognizing the sound of his fathers voice.

David looked down at his body, admiring the suit that his father wore. He had no idea how all of this happened but he was in awe. He went over to the nearest mirror and started flexing his fathers body. He ran his hands over his fathers beard, the shirt and tie that fit tightly around the torso, down to the belt. He opened the belt buckle, ready to see a real mans dick, but the doorbell rang.

With his belt still opened, David opened the door. In front of him was Jay.

"Hello Mr. Thompson. Is David there.", he asked.

"I'm sorry Jay, he's not here right now. He wanted to go for a long walk. And please, call me Brandon.", David said, trying to imitate his fathers charme and smiled.

"Alright. Ehh...Do you know when he'll be back?", he asked.

David noticed how Jay was starring at his fathers crotch. He knew that Jay had a crush on his father and the fact that his belt was open didnt made it better.

"No, I dont know.", David answered, crossing his legs. "Can I do anything else for you?"

"Ehh... no, no... All good. Thanks Mr. ... fuck.... I mean Brandon. Have a great... day.", he said leaving.

David closed the door and went back to where he left off. He rubbed his pants against the tip of his dick. David moaned in his stolen body. He now couldnt ignore the hardening rod in his pants.

He went into his fathers bedroom and got onto his big bed. David started to strip his fathers suit off, starting with the jacket and tie. He unbuttoned the shirt and opened the pants. Brandons body, still controlled by David, pushed down a hand into his pants.

He grabbed his fathers erect pole and exclaimed: "I never really played with my own, but I know that this one is huge!"

David stroked it slowly, building up the feeling he never felt this strong before.

He pulled down his pants completely and stood up to stand in front of his fathers hige mirror.

He felt how cum started to build up in his fathers throbbing member. David rubbed his free hand over his fathers hairy body, feeling the abs pulsating beneath it.

A drop of cum felt from the tip of his huge dick, right before David got this body to shoot an incredible amount of cum against the mirror. The body quaked in pleasure shooting 12 thick strands of cum all over the mirror.

David dropped onto his fathers knees, overwhelmed by the sensation flowing through the body.

"Ooohhhh, fuck. That felt so good.", he said out of breath with his fathers deep voice.

David got up onto his fathers feet again, his legs shaking. He leaned against the mirror, staring at the cum running down the smooth surface.

David made his fathers body flex once more.

"This was too good to be true.", he said happily.

He looked at his fathers handsome face in the mirror.

"You know, I think I'll stay in your body for some time. And now, I'll explore what else you have in store for your horny son."

David sad down on the bed again, lifting his legs.

This will be fun, he said to himself.

__________________________________________

Idea submitted by @weisnichts

Pictures submitted by @weisnichts

[bubblesam06]

TWIN FLAME

JJ Maybank x reader

Requested: no

Warnings: Light smut (barely), Fluff, swearing

A/N: This is my first Fan fiction, I’m sorry if it’s bad, I tried :/ anyway please request some ideas because I really want to start doing little blurbs of OBX... hopefully enough for a master list! THANK YOU!!! enjoy! ❤️

Description: The government created a system to better relationships. They thought soulmates were overrated so they created the Twin Flame where two people with the same personality connect with one tattoo.

*NOT MY GIF!! CREDITS TO OWNER!!*

Being John B’s sister is already hard enough, but dating JJ Maybank is like a crowd of underage high hormonal teenagers in one body. I have to say although that may seem tough he’s like my other half or as some would call it “twin flame” even if it’s not yet confirmed I can feel it.

After my dads disappearance JJ has helped me a lot, coming over at 2am just to comfort me, bringing all the snacks you could imagine, and even getting high and running through the neighborhood together. John B has taken it the hardest and believes he’s still out there but me, I have just came to my senses and accepted his death.

———————————————————————

“Y/N, baby let’s go!”

“J give me a minute ok, I’m trying to find my favorite shorts!” JJ always thought you didnt need to dress up for anything he say things like / “you’re already beautiful” “Baby you need to stop worrying about clothing” “you look amazing with or without makeup babe, I still don’t think you need it” \ which you love very much about him but you’re just too insecure thinking you look like an oompa loompa.

“love, come on I put them on the dresser after last night- oh hey Kie” he obviously didn’t realize she was here, “do you think I can talk to Y/N for a minute... alone”

Kie hesitated for a minute before giving in, “yeah I guess, I’ll meet you guys on the boat”

JJ watched as Kiara slowly left the room and right when she closed the door he spun his head around wrapping his arms around your waist picking you up, quickly you wrap your legs around him so you won’t fall. He presses your lips together moving in sync fitting perfectly like a puzzle peice.

“you have no idea how much I needed that” you smile cheekily up at him, his ocean eyes meeting your (Y/E/C) ones, “you know I am almost positive that you’re my twin flame” you smile at his words looking down as your cheeks flushed a light red.

“me too”

that’s all it took for JJ to push you down on the bed his lips attacking your neck, you lean your head back as a low moan escaped your lips

“J-“

he pulls your shirt over your head “J, babe... I wish we can but they’re waiting on us outside-“ your breath hitched as he sucks on a spot that made you crazy.. “never mind... continue- oh god please keep going baby”

you rip his shirt off without breaking the kiss “don’t worry love, we’ll be quick-“

“you guys good? we’ve been waiting- Oh shit guys come on!” John B says as he opens your bedroom door quick to cover his eyes

“JB what the fuck? ever knock?!” you quickly reach for your shirt putting it on, “ok you can look now”

“are you sure?” John B asks

“yes we’re fucking sure” you and JJ say in innusion, “jinx”

“let’s go... hurry up”

you follow JJ out of the room when stops grabbing John Bs shoulder, “you’re a cockblock”

you giggle at JJs remark

“I am not”

you decide you add your own remark “JB as much as I love you, JJ is right this is the sixth time”

he looks down and walks out the door while smiling, “shut up”

You and JJ both laugh at John Bs sudden words “don’t worry love we’ll finish tonight, I promise”

your cheeks turn bright red “oh I know we will” you say as you kiss his cheek

“finally what took so long” kie and pope asked annoyance written on they’re faces “well I found this two on top of each other almost naked” John Bs voice getting louder as his head turns looking at you two

JJ nudges your arm noticing you were dozed off, him not knowing you were thinking about the twin flame hoping you and JJ’s tattoos match.

“it’s not my fault my baby wanted some kithes, plus I told him you guys were waiting” you say grabbing JJ’s cheeks while making kissy faces. JJ repeats your actions, “oh yeah what happened to ‘oh please JJ keep going uhhh don’t stop’ ”

your face turns red as the other pogues fake gag, “oh but you weren’t afraid to moan-“ he places his hand over your mouth stopping you from continuing to talk.

“anyway are you guys excited to see your twin flame tattoo?” Pope asks

you nod in return, “very... but I already know my twin flame” you say as you wrap your arm around JJ he quickly grabs you and places you on his lap “yup dis’ my babygirl” he says kissing your head

“in just four hours we’ll found out how our lives will be forever” Kie says euphorically

you look down at your hands fidgeting them nervously. “Love are you nervous?” JJ whispers tone full of concern, “a little, I just really want it to be you” you whisper “me too bubba, but don’t worry everything will be ok”

He read me like a book

———————————————————————

“sarah JJ wanted me to be with him when we get our tattoo”

“yeah yeah I bet he did now hurry up!” She retorted

You always knew JJ was your splinterbean, but ever since John B and Sarah matched tattoos you got scared because they seemed like complete stranger opposites

“Sarah I swear to god did you take my $50 I was supposed to use for barry- I mean uh my new gold club!” you hear Rafes voice echo throughout the Cameron household. Rafe Cameron. he always had a crush on you even though you were a pogue he still called you cute and sexy which you hated, but JJ it was different when he called you cute and sexy you knew he meant it and you loved that about him.

“oh hey Y/N!”

you roll your eyes “hi” you say trying to walk passed him, you felt a strong hand slap across your butt causing a yelp to leave your lips

“what the fuck Rafe!” you yell bringing your hand across his face creating a loud slap

“aren’t you feisty” he retorts, “wonder what you’re like in bed” That’s it he pushed your buttons. you grab his arm twisting it clockwise then you take your foot kicking him directly in the dick.

he groans making you satisfied that is until he reaches for your leg pulling you down on the ground, he proceeds to punch your face until he saw blood or until Sarah ripped him off you.

“You’re psyco Rafe!” you scream spitting blood from your mouth “go to hell! you know what Sarah i’m gonna go, I don’t know why I came I should be with JJ right now-“

“no please I just wanted to talk to you about something” she says helplessly

“I only want JJ right now”

———————————————————————

after walking for what felt like hours you made it home seeing John B sitting on the porch with Kie and Pope they were taking about something. but you couldn’t see JJ.

“Y/N you’re back- woah what the hell happened?!” John B asked

“nothing”

“that don’t look nothing” Kie added

“I said it’s nothing ok!!” you yell leaving them shocked, “where’s JJ?”

“he’s uh inside” Pope said

you quickly walk inside checking the time, 11:08, shit

“Bubba? Bub where are you?”

“i’m in your room baby!” he answers you

“thank god I thought I was gonna miss the tattoo- Y/N what happened to you?!” Concern and anger flooded his tanned face

his toned body twinkled with sweat from the scorching heat of outer banks, you were mesmerized and couldn’t believe you were his, and he was yours.

“love?” he asked again

“can we just find out our tattoo please?” you ask, “everyone’s outside waiting”

“guys it’s almost 11:11pm we have your tattoos from the mail” The tattoos are etched into your skin like a real tattoo would by a machine that you place on your wrist

“ready baby?” you ask JJ, he nods

“no matter what i’ll always love you” he says before placing the machine on his arm, you doing the same

“and I’ll always love you more!” you say

“Babe what the fuck we’ve been through this I love you more-“

“enough with the fighting!” John B yells

“JB did it hurt this much for you?” you ask between gritted teeth

“it wasn’t bad” he reply’s

after five minutes you take the machine off after hearing it beep and so does JJ, you got excited knowing they were similar tattoos because of the time it took.

“ready Love?” he asks, your heart melted at his nickname for you

“always”

you look down at you wrist seeing a simple line of a wave flowing across your wrist, “it’s beautiful” you say

“on the count of three... one, two, three!”

“a wave!” you both yell in innusion

you scream and shove your lips onto his, squeezing him making sure he doesn’t go anywhere. A simple tear slipped from your eye

“get a room!” John B boos causing the others two shove him

“peace out guys imma go have fun with my twin flame!” JJ yells carrying you in the chateau

“JJ!” you shout playfully slapping his shoulder

“wear protection! and don’t be loud we’d like to sleep tonight!” John B shouts

[kendrixtermina]

Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.

[bakugous-abs]

So here's a scenerio, Bakugo, Midoriya, Kirishima, Kaminari, or Shoto having a s/o who has really bad PTSD with swords that even just seeing one freaks them out, and has a spouse/bully that has swords and torments them with it? (s/o was either nearly stabbed by one or watched someone they loved get stabbed by one)

Here you go! I'm not that knowledgable about PTSD, and had to do a bit of research on just what it is, symptoms, and how to help someone out who is faced with one of their triggers. I learned a little bit, and that makes me feel really accomplished, so I thank you for requesting this! However, if I got anything wrong, please tell me! I don't want to offend anyone at all! Hope you enjoy! I went with Bakugou on this one- Admin Bomb

***POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING***

Why of all days did he have to be home? Why of all days during this week, this month, this year did he have to come home as you were getting ready for a study session?

Did he like giving you unsettling flashbacks? Did he like seeing your palms clam up with anxiety and your colored bulbs shake with unnerving fear? Did he like knowing your heart would pump blood faster as its pace quickened, making your body hot and red, and your head wrap around negative thoughts?

Who were you kidding? Of course he did

It wasn’t abnormal for you to see your eldest come home from “Hero” work, tired and aggressive, irritated from losing a villain in the back alleys of the streets. Really you knew he would just go trotting around said back alleys with friends, tormenting any lone person that “dared enter”

He knew what the sight of swords did to you. To your head. What effects it caused. And he just loved to see you suffer, and you knew this

But normally he would crash at his friends house for the week, only coming back to shop for the house and stock the fridge and cupboards with needed materials, getting whatever you left a note for that he deemed necessary. He didn’t today

He walked through the front door, making you jump at the sudden sound. He hadn’t really expected you to be home, but, fortunately for him, you were

“Well hey there, Y/n.” He spoke your name, saying it a bit more sinister than any normal person would

He had a grin that screamed malice. He knew what he was going to do to you, seeing you sit on the floor, books sprawled out over half the living room table, and you knew it too

“H-Hi, big brother. How was your-” You attempted to make small talk, but froze in fear at the sight of his sheathed sword in his left hand, his other hand on his hip

Red flooded your imagination, seeping into your visions and your eyes blurred with tears, the next thing you knew, you were in your old house, crying over your mother and fathers dead corpses, blood splattered all over the walls and floor, and even yourself. But it wasn't the blood you cared about, as it didn't come from you

No. It was your parent's bodies, not moving or breathing. Why weren’t they breathing? Did they die? No. Your mommy and daddy were the strongest heroes!

“M-Mommy? Daddy? Wake up. Please wake up. Please wake up I don't wanna be alone!” You shook their shoulders, small hands trying to clamp over their wounds

“Y/n! Get the hell out of there now!” You heard your older brother call. Why wasn’t he sad? Why was he angry at you? Shouldn't he be angry at the villain just like you were?

“But Mommy and Daddy aren’t breathing!” Your eyes blurred out their own vision, noises around you blurring as your older brother and grabbed your shoulder. Heroes stomped into the house at your screams, your older brother dragging you out and into the light of the outside world

The tears flooding your vision flowed down your cheeks in rivers, memories and flashbacks going with them as you were brought back to reality

You never understood why your brother did this. He was a disgusting sadist, but you knew you weren’t better than him. You were weak and worthless. You couldn’t do fucking anything that day. You were upstairs playing with your blocks and hero figurines, too distracted in your own imaginary world to notice or hear your front door creak open

It wasn’t till you heard your mother scream that you ran down the stairs, reaching the bottom and to the room that you witnessed your father getting stabbed, hitting some vessel that made blood splatter everywhere

Across the wall, across him, across his killer, across the floor, across his wife, and across his little daughter, too young to understand that concept of a stab and how easily it could end your life, just as it did your fathers

Maybe it was only because he saw the aftermath that he didn’t understand. But why would he torture you? Those were his parents too

“Yeah, you see this? She stabbed someone today. Lemme give you a little re-enactment to how it happened”

He grabbed the handle, your voice cracking and hardly audible as he unsheathed it, the classic ‘shhhink; sound playing as it came out, its metal shinning brightly in the light seeping through the windows, and making it glow a soft pink as it shone through the thin curtains

“Please stop…” you whispered, bringing your legs to your chest. Can anyone be trusted?

He didn’t wanna re-enact it. He just wanted to jab a sword around and even jab it at you, and that's what he did, coming inches from your face. You let out a blood curdling scream, even surprising your elder brother as he stumbled back a bit. How can I trust Katsuki if I can’t even trust my own brother?

You had never screamed like that a day in your life, and it was scary hearing such a sound erupt from your throat

“S/O!!!” You heard your boyfriend charge through the door, probably breaking its handle clean off the door to get to you

Your eyes were wide, and you screamed for his name, and he came towards you, seeing your attacker with his sword in his hands

He threw his bag to the side, crackling his palms and sending a well-calculated explosion his way, not hitting anything else but your brother who got slammed against the wall with such force, the sword dropping from his hands and to your feet

Katsuki knew of your PTSD. He knows what goes through your head when you see anything resembling a sword, having found out during the day they were all assessed with having the teachers go after students. You had ran out of the room and caught you, tears flooding your eyes and running anywhere else but there

He had ran after you and found everything out when he managed to catch up to you, asking you what was wrong. He also knew what your brother thought was fun to do, and it felt good being able to get a hit on him like that

“Don't you FUCKING DARE come near them with A FUCKING SWORD AGAIN. YOU HEAR ME??” Katsuki screamed, but it seemed as though your brother was losing all or most of his consciousness as he nodded robotically, passing out in Bakugous hand. Maybe I can trust him….

He ran over, grabbing the sword from your feet and sheathing it, running out of the house and to a dumpster he saw nearby, disposing of it and rushing right back

You jumped into his arms, shaking and sobbing as he wrapped his arms around you, falling to the floor and onto his butt. He didn’t give two shits, petting your hair and telling you calming things, just letting you sob into his shoulder for the time being

You tried to ground yourself. Feeling him beneath you. Smelling his caramel sweat. Seeing his ash blond hair fall next to your face. Everything just about him and nothing else

You squeezed him a bit tighter, grip tightening in his t-shirt and nuzzling into his neck, body shaking a little less, and sobs becoming quieter with each passing momentWith the current events that happened tonight, and your currently shaken form, Bakugou assumed that maybe there wasn’t gonna be time to study tonight

[sunflowerrichie]

my boy

chapter 1: eighth grade

“who’s richie?”

“he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie.

summary: ever since they met in eighth grade, richie had been disappearing for weeks (even months) at a time, leaving eddie to think they’re on bad terms; though, that’s not really why richie disappears.

warning(s): language.

author: richie (sunflowerrichie)

note: this book is based off real life events, so if the details are too exact, that’s why. i don’t know how many chapters there will be at the moment due to events after the 7th chapter not happening yet, but i will let you guys know when i’m going to post the next chapter.

word count: 2,076

ao3: x

tagging: @addimagination

“who’s richie?” eddie had asked myra, his doe eyes wide and questioning; he briefly thanked whatever god was out there that the girl could not see him, for she’d read right through him. if eddie could go back in time from where he was now, he would’ve never asked that simple question containing only two words, though he already knew this was another one of her unsuccessful boyfriends. there was a comic book in his hand, one he disregarded the second someone new was mentioned.

myra fixed her hair from where she was lying on the couch, responding quickly. “he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie. “he’s tall and lanky... got dark, black hair; i’m surprised you haven't seen him around, eddie.” 

myra had met eddie in sixth grade, easily becoming friends with the hypochondriac. the smaller boy made a habit of wiping her desk down with cleansing wipes before she sat in it, and in return, she gave eddie platonic love. his mom loved her; for she was just as neat as her sweet eddie-bear and she vowed to make sure he’s taking his medication on time. she was much like sonia, actually; except for being a believer in ‘love at first sight’.

this wasn’t the first time she���s been head over heels for someone, nor would it be the last, but eddie was used to it at this point. each time, he’d make himself presentable for her boyfriend, and each time, they’d never show much interest in the asthmatic boy.

eddie hummed, feigning carelessness and turning back to his book. “is he in eighth grade, too?” he had asked, flipping the page over, though his ears were perked up and his eyes were no longer scanning the words printed nicely on the paper.

“yeah,” myra responded, her voice like she was up in the clouds, high on euphoria. she snapped back quickly, glancing down at the boy on the floor and catching his eyes. “you should talk to him; i think you would start to like him,” more than you think, eddie would learn to realize. before he could decline the offer, though, she was speaking again. “he likes david bowie... and what’s that one song you like?” she paused, her eyebrows scrunching together. “uh... something about the rains in africa?”

eddie perked up quickly, his hot chocolate colored eyes twinkling with the white marshmallows sculpted deep inside them. “africa by toto,” he had said, his cheeks growing hot. eddie kaspbrak loved music, he always had; and now that he would potentially have someone to discuss this love with, he was immediately hooked. he found out three years later, though, that it did not work out the way he had planned. he snapped out of his daze, his smile still apparent. “is he coming over?”

the girl grinned from ear to ear, unbelievably delighted that her best friend was keen on meeting her boyfriend. she looked down at her phone then, the screen lighting up and reflecting on her face in a green kind of glow, the color of her lock screen. “he said he’s on his way,” myra started. “he lives just down the street, so he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

the short boy was struck with a sort of fear then, subconsciously fixing his hair. he nodded, biting his lip and trying not to act suspicious (though this was normal for him; he was always afraid new people would think he’s too messy, too uncaring). myra didn’t seem to notice, though, and kept staring at her phone with a smile, typing away at the keys. at this realization, eddie stood up and coughed awkwardly. “i’m gonna go use the bathroom.” once he got an ‘okay’, he started walking.

when he came out of the bathroom after a few deep, calming breaths and a puff of his aspirator just in case, his clothes were freshly lint-rolled and perfect, his hair was combed and neat, and his teeth were nice and brushed. his fanny pack was around his waist, keeping him grounded and secure. he heard talking from the living room and walked into the doorway, his hands cupped at his front.

richie tozier turned to him, a wide grin on his face and his glasses askew. eddie let his eyes drift around the boy, taking in every detail he could in the three seconds he allowed himself to stare. richie had a grey shirt on, a white and navy blue hawaiian shirt draped over it. the fabric was loose on his skinny frame, and eddie noticed three cigarettes extended out of his pocket, making the small boy’s hands start to shake. his pants were black and tight, complimenting his long legs. and to top it all off, he had black and white slip-on vans over his green and purple socks. he didn’t match; but it suited him in a way eddie felt jealous of.

“like whatcha see?” the tall boy asked, making eddie blush in realization that he noticed the staring. before he could respond, myra spoke again, catching the asthmatic off guard. he had forgot she was in the room.

“richie, this is eddie,” she gestured towards him. “eddie, this is richie,” and back towards richie.

the glasses-clad boy grinned even harder, making eddie wonder if his face would split in half with the force of the grin. the smaller boy looked over to myra quickly, her giving him a smile and her eyes saying ‘this is normal, don’t be alarmed’. he stepped forward and stuck out his lanky arm, waiting for the small boy to shake it. he didn’t; he was afraid richie would think his hands were too rough (he forgot to apply lotion). “richie tozier.”

-

one week after richie introduced himself to eddie, the asthmatic was at myra’s house again, same as last weekend. “what did you get for number 6?” the girl asked, flipping her paper over and furrowing her eyebrows. she was across from eddie on her bed, both of them lying on their stomachs and going over their math homework.

“two,” eddie responded easily, writing something down on his paper. he then paused for a while, his hand hovering over his paper as he thought. “what do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked, looking up at her with hope in his eyes. hope that richie would come over again. hope that they’d have another chance to all watch a movie together (he had sat on the ground the whole time, though, trying not to pay attention to the sound of their lips smacking together every once in a while and the bounce of richie’s leg on the carpet). he hadn’t got that close to richie yet, for he’d have to take a puff of his aspirator every time he thought about it; but with richie’s loud mouth and his easy-going attitude, it was slightly easier than he thought.

myra hummed, looking up at him briefly before turning the page in the blue textbook. “i was planning to have richie come over at around ten in the morning,” she spoke, seeming to think them over as they floated out of her mouth. “is that okay?” she blushed slightly, looking back up at eddie.

the small boy nodded, pulling his phone out quickly to set an alarm for nine in the morning. he told himself he’d need time to wake up, but he knew deep down that he really only did that because he wants to look good for the taller boy. “that sounds good,” he smiled, glancing at the time quickly. he stood up then, grabbing his fanny pack and snapping it around his waist again. “be right back, i gotta take my medicine.”

the second it turned nine o’clock the next morning, eddie’s phone was ringing and the sound was echoing through myra’s living room. the small boy groaned and rolled over, shutting off his alarm and rubbing at his eyes. when his mind got a chance to catch up and his first thought was richie, though, he was up and rushing to turn the shower on.

when richie opened the door an hour later, he was grinning and his nose was a different color, the cold, november air outside making his skin blush red.

“spaghetti!” he yelled, immediately taking interest in the asthmatic boy, much to his surprise. “i was hoping you’d be here again!”

eddie blushed deeply, water pooling behind his eyes due to embarrassment. “hi, richie,” he spoke softly, the name unfamiliar on his tongue as he scanned the room for myra (he hoped briefly that he’d get a chance for the name to finally become familiar flowing out of his mouth). “uh, myra will be here in a second, she went to-“

the taller boy cut him off quickly, wrapping his lanky arm around his shoulders. “no worries, short stack,” he started, not coming off offensive but more... fond; as if he’d known eddie since they were in sixth grade, too. “for i, the one and only richie tozier, would not mind hanging out with my favorite eds!” he finished off in a loud, almost ear-ringing, voice, grinning down at eddie, his ocean blue eyes gleaming.

before the brown-eyed boy could respond with a ‘don’t call me that’ and a soft shove, myra was walking through the doorway and richie’s arm was unwrapping itself from his shoulders, leaving him with a heart that had plunged down into his lower stomach. “i see you two have made friends with one another.” friends. all they would ever be.

to that, richie nodded, the grin still on his face. does he ever stop fucking grinning? “we have, haven’t we, spaghetti head?” the words seemed as if they came from another planet, for the sound of blood rushing behind his ears was too loud for the small boy to process what richie was saying.

he excused himself to go use the bathroom then, and when he got there, he realized he might as well have been losing his mind. “keep it together, kaspbrak,” he said to his reflection, swallowing down a lump in his throat. “it’s just richie,” the name was still unfamiliar, “just myra’s new, unsuccessful boyfriend, richie.”

when eddie finally got himself to come out of the bathroom and walk into the living room again, he was stopped dead in his tracks. myra’s pinky was looped around the taller boy’s and words were flowing out of his mouth beautifully.

“-i promise, okay? i’ll always be here for you,” and then he was moving his hand up and extending his thumb to kiss. “i never break a pinky promise.” if only eddie would have known those six words would be repeating through his head painfully for three years afterwards. richie looked like a totally different person when he was serious, eddie then realized. he felt anxiety creep up his body with the question ‘i wonder if i’ll ever be in myra’s spot’. he knew he’d probably have an asthma attack due to richie’s eyes alone.

-

“me and richie broke up,” is what eddie heard five days later coming through his cell phone speaker, the owner’s voice broken and rough. “i-i didn’t-”

“wait, wait, what happened?” the brown-eyed boy asked, more curious than sympathetic.

“he pinky promised me!” she wailed, ignoring his question and making eddie move the phone an inch or two from his ear. “he said he never breaks pinky promises, and he did!”

-

eddie stopped talking to myra after that. not because of any particular reason, but just simply because of the fact that whenever he looked at her, all he could think about was richie’s arm around him and richie’s pinky promise and richie’s beautiful, blue eyes. the two boys never swapped numbers, so eddie had to spend the rest of eighth grade wondering if richie was ever really his ‘friend’, or if he was only taking interest in the hypochondriac because of myra.

what he didn’t realize until three months later, though, was that richie actually never did break his pinky promise. he was still there for myra if she needed him, but eddie guesses he lost interest in being something more than acquaintances. richie was good with his words and eddie was destined to be wrapped around his finger sooner or later.

[briteboy]

stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried

so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)

game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok

we’re starting off on a great note

Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now

Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)

then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone

IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW

DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS

hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao

oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection

i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!

ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333

Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!

see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it! but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery

Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......

OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question

rooney's eye are so BIG

just like her tiddies lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes

Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?

WHO i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and

tru

I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh

SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3

ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me

im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.

OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well

thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful

thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘

do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?

euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google

You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg

lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on

I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine

Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls

YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’

@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)

yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously. 

I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!

YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine

Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.

OMG LMAO NO what i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it

I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️

lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him

yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"

WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET SAME that’s all i care about when i play

that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it

i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child

sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?

boop

hi i love you ♡ pass it on

I LOVE U

Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares

SAME my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop

Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.

maybe he should 🤔  but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay

i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him

thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.

My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did

🤔 you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin

i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.

omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33

Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN

WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok

Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.

WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao

You love to make me cry

i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear

I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂

I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”

whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))

OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother

Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha

well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!

I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi

SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho

Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist

I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)

ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!

Lou is an angel honestly

“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”

what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.

omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3

Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/

I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me

Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x

no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.

is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends

it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that

I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE

EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)

waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see

u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night

Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.

YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3

One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.

OMG LMAOOOOO NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT who’s making these i want one

your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME

Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x

ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3

Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?

i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.

there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE

OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}

I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...

OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao

Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.

LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same

u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh

oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔

Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)

LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP

let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever

omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP

in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl

i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.

OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.

ur dead 2 me

I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!

[angstgods]

OKAY! I'm probably going to suffer for this but I'm a glutton for pain so I humbly request: one where Yuri succeeds in his suicide BUT Otabek staying with Mila and having their baby. The years go by and they're all miserable, especially Otabek. He's gotta live with the consequences of it all. Love ya and I trust you to break my heart into dust. ❤️

sorry this took for fucking ever to finish, but your wish will eventually be my command i guess lol (evidence for yuri’s date of birth found here: https://yurikobutachan.tumblr.com/timeline)

also, im so sorry i didnt update, school just started 3: updating soon! heres something to tide you over! 

A little boy with knobby knees pouted on the front steps of his house. He couldn’t have been older than seven or eight, right? Well, actually, he was almost eleven. He hated being small.

Mousey brown hair that looked reddish in the light fell into his eyes. It was getting long again, falling just past his chin. With his chin in his hand, he grumbled mean things at his bangs. He secretly liked how long his hair was, he thought it framed his face well. He knew his mother would make him cut it as soon as she noticed, he pouted even more.

“Hey kiddo.”

He gasped and pointed a little button nose up at a man standing over him, house keys in hand. He had a shock of thick, dark hair that was starting to grey right in the middle of his forehead, and dabbles of white in the scruff on his face that never seemed to go away. He wasn’t very tall, but built solidly, from the ground up like a brick wall. The boy recognized him and went right back to grumping. “Hi, Dad.”

Otabek looked around. “What’re you doing out here?” It was a nice day out, the sun was low in the trees but it was still warm enough for a t-shirt. The boy sat up like he was going to say something. After a pause, he slouched back down, pouting even harder. Just when he thought he’d been left alone, Otabek settled down next to him, feeling it in his knees. The boy stared at the pavement, pretending he didn’t exist.

“Vaska, what’s going on?” Otabek questioned, Vaska looked everywhere but in his direction. “Visaliy,” he pressed, but Vaska shuffled away. “Vasya,” Otabek softened, taking a page from Mila’s book. A peachy blush ran right over the freckles dusting Vaska’s nose. One more push. “Come on, let’s here it, Votik Kotik–” 

“Stooooop!” Vaska whined, delivering an embarrassed shove to Otabek’s shoulder. Affection, get’s him every time.  

“What’s wrong?” Otabek tried again when Vaska softened up a little. Still, he looked away, watching ants march along the ground. He huffed.

“Pavel and his friends called me a fairy because I like to dance,” Vaska explained after a lull of quiet between them. He picked at a dirty band-aid on his knee, “he said it makes me weak, but I’m not weak! Ballet is so hard, Dad.” He shook his head, puzzled. “Why doesn’t he like me?”

“Do you like him?”

“No.” Vaska grimaced. “He’s mean to girls and steps on flowers, he’s a batman villain.” Otabek had to laugh at that, letting out a little puff of amusement. “Stella said she’ll kick his ass if he talks to me again.” Otabek raised his brows.

“I have no doubt in my mind,” he agreed gravely.

Now at the tender and tumultuous age of fifteen, Stella had taken up kickboxing as a way to channel her stress. She was a happy, energetic girl, but sometimes the world weighed a little too heavily on her shoulders. When Vaska was born, she immediately took him under her wing, caring for him like a little brother. She would defend him to the end. Akari, on the other hand, was a little shy of him at first. Vaska asked her why once, she said he was too familiar. Up until then, he really thought they were all siblings, sharing similar catlike monolid eyes. His were a bright sea foam green, a little similar to Akari’s. But when she officially rejected him, he finally saw the distance between them. 

“I… like Stella,” Vaska confessed after a while, an uneasiness clouded his eyes. “She said I’m not supposed to. She think’s I’m a fairy too, doesn’t she…” 

“No way,” Otabek flat out denied. “You may be a little young for her, but it’s probably just the way she was brought up. It’s a little strange for her that boys and girls can like each other.” Vaska took this into consideration. As long as Stella didn’t think little of him, he was happy. “You know she loves you in her own way,” Otabek reassured, but Vaska already knew that.

“Sometimes Stella calls me Yuya,” Vaska spoke up, “She’ll say it, then she’ll get sad. What does that mean?”

Now Otabek was staring into the yard, Vaska looked over to find a stony look on his face. He let his Dad think for a bit, scooting over to make room while he adjusted his seat.

“Do you know how you think of her as a big sister?” he began. Vaska nodded. “She used to have someone just like that. She thought of him as a big brother, and she called him Yuya.”

“Was that his name?”

“Yuri… His name was Yuri.”

Otabek closed his eyes. When he opened them, Vaska had nuzzled in close, wiggling under his arm and offering what comfort he could without understanding why his Dad was so sad all of the sudden. He pulled Vaska into his lap, settling him in his arms and resting his chin in Vaska’s hair.

“You remind her of him,” Otabek explained softly, nostalgically, “you remind all of us of him. 

“What’s he like?” Vaska asked curiously, taking note of a strange tinge in Otabek’s voice.

“He was…” he paused, looking for the right word. “He was like a tiger.” Vaska exhaled, wondrously imagining a regal, majestic young man that may have resembled himself. “Yuri was eye-catching, you couldn’t look away. He had these eyes.” 

“What did they look like?”

“Green, just like yours.” Vaska smiled just a little. “They were powerful. They could make you forget what you’re saying right in the middle of your sentence. He could see into you, see your thoughts and your feelings. Very calculating, like a… soldier… Unforgettable.” Otabek went quiet. Vaska didn’t rush him, feeling his chest suddenly get tight behind him. Otabek sniffed. “He was elusive though, like a tiger. He didn’t trust many people. He never let them in too close. But he was so magnetic, everyone wanted to be close to him, to be chosen by him.”

“Did he choose you?” Vaska flinched, feeling something wet drip down onto his scalp. He twisted around to see what it was. Otabek’s eyes were red and watering. He offered a small apologetic smile. Vaska needed a second to take it all in, then turned around to stare at the ants.

“Yeah, he did,” Otabek replied honestly, “I met him the first time during a ballet class when I was eight. I was too scared to say anything though, he was beautiful then too. I met him again ten years later. I’d almost lost hope that I’d see him ever again, but those eyes…” He sighed, hugging his son and watching the people go by. “He was a fierce kid, Vaska. He took no prisoners, just like your mom. That’s actually around the time I met her, but…” Vaska hummed for him to continue, but Otabek shook it off and moved on with his story. “Then I found him again after Stella and Akari were born. He was a full fledged adult by then. He was an award winning figure skater, he was a principal dancer with the Mariinsky Ballet, he was on every talk show and magazine cover; everything they said about him he used to his advantage. They called him a fairy.”

“No way, really?”

“Really,” Otabek nodded, “He didn’t like it at first, but he used that and became this otherworldly, nymphlike creature. He loved Stella and Akari more than I’d ever seen him love anything else. Even the ice. He was… he was…”

“Dad?” Vaska questioned. Otabek was holding his breath, letting tears fall from his eyes. His nose was red, but he wouldn’t cry. If he started he wouldn’t stop and Vaska didn’t deserve that. “Dad,” Vaska had been saying for a few long moments, “did you… did you like him? Like… Did you like him?” He let go of the breath and nodded. “Did he like you too?”

“I think so… or he did at one time.”

“What happened to him?” Vaska asked slowly. A fresh flow of tears fell from his Dad’s eyes.

“I was with him when your Mom found out she was pregnant with you,” he said. A small smile lightened up his face. “He wanted to name you Charybdis.”

“What does that mean?” Vaska smiled in interest. It was from a book that was a little over his head. He would be able to read it soon, probably in school. “I like it!” he said, “what else happened?”

“Well,” Otabek tried to stay at least a little positive, but his facade was slipping, “Yuri and I knew that it was time for us to go our separate ways. We were both sad about that, but… But Yuri was very sad. And I wasn’t there to tell him it would be okay… What do we say about feeling very sad, Vaska?”

“Tell someone?” Vaska responded automatically. It didn’t quite make sense why his parents had taught him that until right this very second. The sun went behind a cloud. 

“Yuri didn’t tell anyone he was so sad. He was all by himself and,” Otabek cut himself off, taking a few breaths to collect himself, “he decided he didn’t want to live anymore.” Vaska gasped, a tear rolled down his cheek. “It was peaceful,” Otabek reassured, “he fell asleep and didn’t wake up.” Vaska stared at the steps they sat on, watching his tears hit the cement. “That’s why Akari stays in her room when we come over. It’s not your fault, she just loved him very much and now he’s gone. It’s hard to think he’s never coming back.”

“I’m really sorry, Dad,” Vaska’s hair fell into his eyes, and in that moment he was Yuri’s spitting image. Otabek’s heart skipped a beat. He barely registered Vaska saying, “I got between you. Maybe… Maybe it would be different if–”

“No. Stop that– Vaska, look at me.” He resisted, stubbornly squirming but eventually he complied. “You– Vaska, you’re a miracle. Your Mom and I, you’re what we’ve always wanted. We tried for years to have a baby, we thought it was too late, but here you are. You’re my son and I love you more than anything. I wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

“Do you love Yuri?” Thrown for a loop, Otabek’s words stuck in his throat. “Why haven’t you told me about him before? Is it because you love him and he died?” Otabek opened his mouth then closed it back up, starting and stopping until his thoughts straightened out. His son watched him, knowing where all the cracks where that would give away his true emotions. Only one other person had been able to figure him out like that.

“Yes, I do,” he finally settled, “we didn’t tell you about him because he meant a lot to me and our friends. It’s very hard for us to talk about and we all just decided one day to never talk about him. It’s easier for us to move on.” Vaska wasn’t all the way satisfied with that answer, but it sated him for now. “Yuri was just as excited to meet you as I was. He was ready to love you as much as he loved Stella and Akari. When he died, I promised him I’d love you as much as both of us combined. I miss him every day, but I’m so glad I have you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” Vaska replied softly, a genuine response when he wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. He let Otabek smooth the hair out of his eyes, slicking it back and kissing him right on the crown of his head. Vaska turned pink. “You can’t forget him,” he said, “not talking about him means you’re forgetting him little by little. You have to talk or the memories won’t keep. Tell me one thing about him every day.” Otabek could agree that that seemed fair. If no one else wanted to talk about Yuri, Vaska was more than happy to lend an ear. “And, and,” he wasn’t finished yet. “Let’s visit him. Let’s go before Mom gets home.

Like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs, Otabek went rigid for a second, slowly relaxing. No one had ever wanted to visit him. “Okay, Vaska,” Otabek found himself saying. “Let’s go see him.”

…

Wandering through a peaceful cemetery, Vaska scanned for names and faces that jumped out at him. Otabek lagged behind while he ran ahead. Under a cherry tree lived a white marble headstone dusted in pink petals. A pensive face, lovely and sad, was carved into the center, framed in gold filigree.

Yurochka Nikolaevich Plisetsky. March 1st, 1999 -  November 22nd - 2019

“So young…” Vaska mused to himself. He straightened up, squaring his shoulders. “Yuri.” he said, “I’m Visaliy Altin. I’m– What did he call you?” Otabek looked down, realizing that that question was for him. “You call him Yuri, did he call you something?”

“Beka,” he admitted softly. “I called him Yura.”  

“Beka’s my Dad,” Vaska’s chest puffed out, “and you can call me Vaska.” Otabek smiled and squeezed his son’s shoulders, proud to the ends of the earth. “I’ll be eleven soon. My birthday’s in August. I’m training to be a dancer with Madam Baranovskaya, just like you. She says hi, probably, I haven’t talked to her about you. Dad says I remind everyone of you sometimes. Especially Stella. Her hair is long and blonde now, I think it’s really pretty…”

Vaska told long stories about school, his best friend Dima, and his first visit to Kazakhstan when he was five. He thought pointing his toes was easier than the rest of his classmates did. He must be gifted. He’d asked his Mom if they could get a cat and she said no, what she didn’t know was that the cat wasn’t for him. After Ume died, Akari was very sad. He wanted to bring her a new sphinx as a peace offering. It was easy for Vaska to talk to the gravestone that represented a man he’d never met before, easier than it was to talk to Mila.

“My Dad still loves you very much,” Vaska concluded, “he thinks about you every day. And I know you love him too.” Having plopped down in the grass to rest his head against the marble, he stood up. Vaska shrank just a little bit, getting a good look at what this was doing to his Dad. 

Standing a few steps behind him, Otabek did his best not to make a sound, but tears bored from his eyes. His face was red from holding his breath. He didn’t want to take this away from Vaska, he seemed like he needed to pour himself out. But just standing here, seeing his son– so like Yuri in so many ways– chatting with his headstone like they were old friends, it was hard to watch. Yuri was so many things; he was stubborn and moody, sweet and intelligent, headstrong and cocksure, and so so caring. He’d been all over the world, seen everything there was to see. He was such a complicated, multifaceted person, and here he was, boiled down to a name and a date like it never happened. He never truly existed. It was wrong, it was offensive.

Vaska peered up at him, snub nose turned up like a little piggy. His hair fell into his eyes.

“Ready, kiddo?” he smiled through sharp pangs of guilt and sorrow. Vaska nodded. Otabek held out his hand. “Let’s go.” Vaska walked right past the hand, throwing his arms around Otabek’s waist. They stayed like that for a while, Vaska pressed his face into Otabek’s chest, warming his heart with as much love as he could muster. It was hard for him to be here, Vaska knew that. He was so grateful that his Dad shared a part of himself that he normally tried to hide. It brought them even closer together.

…

The door opened with a squeak and a little body wiggled in through the opening, darting into the living room. Sitting in an armchair with a cold, black aura surrounding her, Mila sipped something clear out of a rocks glass and numbly watched her son cross the living room in search of her.

“Mom!” he exclaimed when he finally saw her. Taking six of the ten steps it took to approach, he was smiling until he noticed the mood around him start to sink. He slowed to a cautious gate. “Mom…?”

“Where have you been?” she interrogated monotonously. Vaska stopped just shy of her reach.

“Mom, you’ve been drink–”

“Answer the question.” Otabek closed the front door. He didn’t move into the living room. He listened intently.

“W-We… Dad was telling me about Yuri,” Mila’s eyes widened, “so we went to go see him.” Mila sat up in her chair, unblinking as she set her glass down. “Mom, I–”

“Go to your room.” Vaska nearly jumped out of his skin. “Now, Visaliy.” He skittered away. When his bedroom door closed, Mila settled back into her chair and tossed back the rest of her cup.

From the front door, Otabek heard her calmly call his name. Gritting his teeth, he ventured into the living room where it was ten degrees colder just with her in it. All his muscles were tense, sensing an oncoming fight. She watched him approach and plant his feet on the opposite side of the living room. 

“You took my son to the cemetery?” she asked slowly, enunciating all of her words.

“He’s my son too. He asked me to go and I said yes.”

“You listened to a ten year old boy?” 

“He’s right, Mila,” Otabek raised his voice just a notch, careful to hide his words from Vaska’s prying ears. “Every day I avoid talking about him, I’m forgetting him little by little. Yuri was–”

“Don’t you dare say that name in my house,” she hissed through her teeth. Otabek was silent, still like a statue. “You promised me. You promised me you wouldn’t do this.” She moved to stand, suddenly feeling dizzy and falling back into her chair. She squeezed her eyes closed with a groan. When she opened them back up, her glass was half full and Otabek was in the kitchen looking for whiskey. “Are you going to lose your fucking mind again?” she spat. Otabek sighed. “I’ll take him. You’ll never see us again.”

“Then go,” he whirled around, squeezing a glass of his own, “go to Italy if you think that’ll make you happy. But he stays with me.”

“No,” she denied, shooting up from her chair. “You didn’t even want him, Otabek.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is!” she countered, “if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, you’d be off somewhere with Yuri sucking each other off like a couple of teenagers.”

“Leave him out of this,” he all but growled, but Mila was unimpressed.

“Why? Everything that happened is his fault.”

“I mean it, Mila.”

“Oh my god!” She threw her hands up. “You still don’t fucking love me over a rotting old corpse? It’s been twelve years, there’s probably nothing even down there.” She gasped, startled by the glass in Otabek’s hand exploding in his grasp. He swore and turned into the kitchen to clean up ice, whiskey, and broken glass. He was bleeding. “You’re not gonna do anything,” Mila shook her head, but her heart was beating out of her chest. “You can’t blame me, or Vaska, you can only blame yourself.” Otabek barely looked at her. “What does Katrine say?” she asked with her arms crossed. Otabek was quiet. “What does she say?” Mila repeated herself.

“I stopped seeing her.”

“Oh god… Goddammit, Otabek!”

“If I can’t even talk about him, the dreams are all I have left of–”

“Having sex dreams about a dead body is all you–”

“They’re not sex dreams, they’re morning after dreams, and you’d know that if you’d fucking listen to me!” He realized he was shouting after it was too late. In the silence, Otabek and Mila listened to their son’s confused weeping from his bedroom. He was in there alone, listening to his parents fight, thinking that he’d somehow caused this. Otabek took a few calming breaths for the sake of their son and tried to put his family back together. “You’re my wife, Mila, I should be able to tell you these things.” She scoffed. “You should be able to talk to me too, we haven’t spoken in ages.”

“You wanna talk? Fine, let’s talk.” Otabek took a breath. Before he could let it go, Mila hissed, “I don’t love you either. Why are we even trying if all we do is make each other miserable? Listen to what it’s doing to Vaska!” In his room, Vaska’s crying was getting softer and softer. He was falling asleep. “Yuri is dead,” Mila deadpanned, sitting back in her chair and reaching for her glass. “Maybe you should be too. You’d be happier, right? You’d rather be dead than be here with me?” She rolled her eyes. “Maybe we should all be dead… You, me, V–”

“Vaska!” Charging down the hall, Otabek blew through the door to his son’s bedroom, startling him awake. His cheeks were streaked with tears, eyes puffy and raw. The first thing Otabek did was drop to his knees and pull his boy into his arms, hugging him tight. “Let’s go, buddy. We’ll come back in the morning and get your things for school.” Too tired to walk, Vaska opened his mouth to whine, but Dad was already bending to pick him up. He was too big to carry, but special circumstances called for special privileges. 

“Where are we going?”

“Go get in the car, everything’s fine.”

Otabek took Vaska with him to stay with Victor and Yuuri. It was late by the time they arrived, but Yuuri was expecting them. Stella, who’d been brushing her teeth when they announced their arrival to the house, grabbed Vaska by the arm and pulled him into bed with her, lending him something to sleep in and tucking him in next to her. Otabek took the living room couch, having to fight a small bear to get to it. Even then, Egor tried to sleep on top of him once or twice. But sleep eventually found him and Otabek found himself in the same dream.  

“Beka… Beka…  Wake up!” Otabek’s vision sharpened, and two green eyes were smiling down at him. Long blonde hair tickled his skin. Straddling Otabek’s waist, Yuri peeked out from under the sheets. The sun reflected off his bare chest, filtering in through the windows of his bedroom. Without even thinking, Otabek pulled him down and kissed him all over his face, ending with a slow meaningful peck at his lips. “Good morning to you too,” Yuri joked, falling into an even slower, terribly reverent, almost apologetic kiss that he accepted but didn’t quite understand. “What’s wrong?” he asked when it was over.

“Nothing,” Otabek avoided with a sad sigh. Yuri didn’t press him, hoping a nuzzle and a kiss in the middle of his forehead would make it a little better.  

“So,” he changed the subject when it seemed like they didn’t need to delve any deeper. “If not Charybdis, it should be something else badass.” Sliding down Otabek’s chest, Yuri’s face came to rest in his hands. Otabek could feel his breath on his face. “That that one chick. From Game of Thrones. Arya? That’s sorta Russian.” Yuri shrugged his shoulders.

“What about Visaliy?” Otabek suggested thoughtfully, knowingly. “I have a feeling it’s gonna be a boy. It’s weird, but he kinda looks like you.” Yuri raised a confused brow. “In my head.” 

Yuri took the name under careful consideration, resting his chin in the dip between Otabek’s collar bones. “Hm… Yeah… Okay, I like it. Only if we call him Vaska,” Otabek agreed with a pleased smile, “especially if it embarrasses him.”

“Sounds perfect.”

Yuri sighed, drawing lazy patterns all over Otabek’s chest, watching it rise and fall. A hand made its way into his hair and Yuri purred happily. Otabek swept rogue strands of gold out of his face, out of the way of those eyes peering into him. 

“I wanna stay like this forever,” Yuri mused wistfully.  

“You have no idea how much I feel the same… I love you, Yuri. I don’t tell you that enough.”

“I love you too,” Yuri smiled, “even if you are a cringey bastard.”  

[drowning-in-salt-water]

SO BaSicaLLy,  I was going through my drafts and deleting a bunch of stuff that held zero potential. (And I mean ZERO potential) and then I saw this one and I was like eh, imma trash it as well, because it didnt really fit the feeling I was going for writing style wise, but then freaking Ellie Goulding’s Dead in the Water started playing on my Pandora *LISTEN TO IT WHILE U READ IT MAYBE YOULL FEEL MY FLOW* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFzQ7KAVq1w    and I was like fuck it lets just take the conecept and build a mock-scenario. I know, I know, they have like 100 mock break up scenarios, but it honestly isnt my fault, there are just so. many ways to write a break up and i love writng angst so if you think this is a lot, willow, you should see my drafts. Its honestly tragic. Anyway, this wasnt anything serious and honestly it doesnt fit into the books writing theme/character arcs but what the hell I revised and edited it while listening to ellie’s trash voice so why not post it away. (Am I right?) And just so you have an idea of when this was originally written time frame wise, I had to change all the Dominic’s to Pierson’s. (Yeah, its BP, Before Pierson) Hit me up on snap we should talk tomorrow after escuela. *I didnt proofread any of that so sorry for everything I spelled/wrote wrong lolz*  ALSO A HEADS UP: I am so FREAKING PISSED because for some reason tumblr is RETARDED AND WONT ITALICIZE AND IT LOOSES SO MUCH MEANING UGH. ANYWAY, if you leave the mobile app it works (I think) so don't read it her use this link -> * https://drowning-in-salt-water.tumblr.com/post/161234113208/so-basically-i-was-going-through-my-drafts-and * it’ll italicize, (maybe) but on mobile/dashboard it DoESNt!!!! Jeez that is so aggrevating!  Also, try to listen to the goulding song I linked above while reading. Okay? Okay. Peace out  Betrayal was the worst poison. It didn’t lick skin like fire did, it wasn’t as fast as a bullet; No, she could feel every moment of agony as it slowly ate away at her. An ever burning reminder that even Legacies fell victim to the incurable poison that was heartbreak. As if a thousand bolts of lightning were coursing through her– tearing apart her insides. Valerie had the ability to show none of this, because he did not deserve to see her pain. But she let him see, let him know, because she deserved to have this conversation; this moment of closure. The eye of the storm, the crest before the heartbreak. With as much dignity as she could muster through her shock, she started, her honest words setting the tract for an equally honest conversation. “It hurts.” She whispered quietly, unsure as to whether she wanted him to hear her or not. “If I had known it would hurt this much, I would’ve never chosen to love you.” She had said it. Finally, after months stolen kisses and nonverbal acts of devotion, the words were spoken out loud, laid bare. Her confession echoed off the walls of the empty hallway. It mixed with their labored breathing and broken promises. He said nothing for a moment, and she couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he was. Standing with his jaw flexing and his body tense beneath the hard muscle and soft skin. So miserable and defeated but beautiful all the same. If she were an artist she would paint this memory, if she were a photographer she would take a picture to hold onto. “I love you too.” He spoke finally, somehow his voice was far stronger than his posture, and he found it in him to continue, “don’t lie to yourself, you know we never had a choice. And even if we did, I would still pick you, every time, no matter the pain.” His ocher eyes shone with passion, and her breath hitched, just slightly, but enough that he knew she understood what he said was the truth.   Valerie said nothing, the both of them staring at each other with burning eyes, from tears or anger neither knew. Instead they let the silence between them speak: It’s over, their silence said. Whatever love they felt may have been real but it was only a feeling. The world was real, and reality was cruel. Perhaps love was supposed to make it bearable, but this time it couldn’t. They remained silent. They loved each other. And still they make no move to speak. Love was not enough. The world was far too powerful for a feeling to change it. And Valerie knew this. She felt her love for him even as she felt her loathing. Perhaps love and hate could exist next to each other. Her face did not change, her eyes still locked with his. A single tear rolled down the arch of her cheekbone, and Pierson winced as though he could feel her regret cutting through the silence, cutting through him. But still, the tear traveled lower, resting on the point of her chin. It will hurt to let you go, her tear said as it fell from her face. It will hurt to stop missing you and it will hurt to hate you. It will hurt to exist in the same world as you but not with you. It will hurt. They remained silent. Even as Valerie left with her head held high and her shoulders pulled back. She would leave with her dignity. This was only goodbye, it was now a part of her past, he was now a part of her past. And she couldn’t help but think that if this was goodbye, how many hellos did she still have ahead of her? All the while Pierson watched in agony. Thinking of ways to fix something that was missing all its parts. A million words stuck in his throat. And they were still there, crawling their way up, suffocating him. Those words remained, even though he knew she was long gone.

This lovely excerpt came from my asshole bcs its honestly a piece of shit wHoOPs`