#like if I heard this at a live concert I'd probably cry not to be dramatic<3

[stanheightsimp]

Hi!! Can I request something?

Adam Stanheight x Male Reader nsfw headcanons or a nsfw fic (w an established relationship) where Adam survived the bathroom trap and comes home to the reader then they have soft slow sex with lots of tears and I love yous and stuff?

Thank you!!

This request is amazing, I feel so inspired omg ????? Hope you like it, anon!!!! It's been a long time since I wrote MxM, it was difficult (but fun). (It took longer than expected, I got sick!)

Bring Me To Life | Adam Stanheight x Male!Reader (NSFW) angst!!!

"Make me feel alive" - You find your own way to comfort Adam | 2478 words

My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there and lead it back home Wake me up inside (save me) Call my name and save me from the dark - Bring Me To Life, Evanescence

🪚 Content Warning : NSFW smut, unprotected sex, mention of past trauma (canon)

MINORS DNI

Adam, your boyfriend of 2 years, had been missing for seven days. Seven. Days.

On the first day, you thought he'd probably ended up in police custody without being able to warn you. With all his stalking, this was bound to happen! You didn't worry too much.

On the second day, you woke up to cold, empty sheets. You'd gone to bed the night before, hoping that when you woke up, Adam would be there. But he wasn't.

On the third day, you got really worried. You called Scott, but he told you he hadn't heard from Adam since the last concert. You even called his parents, with whom he'd been on bad terms since his coming-out. And you started making the rounds of Jersey's police stations and hospitals, looking for anywhere he might have been admitted. But nothing. So you filed a missing persons report for Adam.

The fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh days were hell. You were deeply convinced that something had happened to Adam.

On the night of the seventh to the eighth day, the emergency services called to let you know that Adam had been found. Alive. In a bathroom, tied by the ankle to a rusty pipe.

Adam spent three days in hospital, before they allowed him to leave.

And there you both were, back in your shithole apartment, walking out the door hand in hand. All the way home from the hospital, he hadn't uttered a single word. Adam didn't talk much anymore.

Are you all right? you asked Adam as he stepped through your doorway, a rhetorical question designed purely to break the silence.

No, replied Adam in a weak voice.

Of course he wasn't all right. He was even skinnier than he had been before his capture. His eyes were dead. This was no longer the Adam you'd known. A small, fragile figure standing in the doorway with a hesitant air, as if it wasn't in this house that the two of you had been living for several years now. You understood instantly. That's because it was in this apartment that Adam had been captured.

It's okay, Adam, you say, holding him gently against you. It's going to be all right. I'm right here. Nothing's gonna happen to you.

He let himself go gently against your body, nestling his face against your neck and inhaling your scent deeply. You felt him tremble slightly against you.

It's okay, you repeated, the palm of your hand rubbing his back in regular circles.

I thought… I'd never see you again, he confided. It was the thought that obsessed me most. There I was, sitting in the dark, and I… and I…

You could only imagine what it felt like to have been captured, to have woken up in a tub of ice water. To see a man cut off his own foot before shooting him in the shoulder. To be alone in the dark, with only a corpse for company, the corpse of someone he had killed with his own hands. To cling to that faint hope, Lawrence's "I won't lie to you".

I… he stammered, unable to speak further.

His voice derailed. Adam was crying. You'd rarely seen him cry. Adam didn't cry much, except when his barriers collapsed. Your grip around his body tightened.

It's over, Adam, you're through, we're together.

Kiss me, he replied, urgency in his voice. Kiss me, please.

Your lips captured his, cautiously, gently. He responded instantly, with an eagerness that surprised you. His mouth parted, his tongue met yours, and his body pressed against yours. He pressed you to the wall with a vigor you hadn't expected given his weakened state, and deepened the kiss, moaning against your lips. Adam wanted more than just a kiss, that was undeniable. You let your lips run down his neck, as your hands slid under his shirt, against his torso and sides.

His knee slipped between your legs and you felt him smile against your lips. Fuck, his sweet breath. You couldn't get enough of Adam's taste.

Oh, Y/N… Adam gasped.

You felt his breath quicken, his body pressing against yours with desperate urgency. A rush of guilt came over you. You put your hands on his shoulders, hesitating, preparing to gently push him away.

Make me feel alive, he breathed, almost pleading. Make me feel something other than… than this.

Under normal circumstances, you'd have granted his wish. You'd ravage him the way he loved. But not here. He was so fragile, so breakable, under your hands. Instead of giving in to these most primitive of impulses, you decided to slow down, taking the time to caress Adam's slender body with your fingertips with a form of reverence. It was like rediscovering every square inch of his skin. It was like tasting him for the first time.

If he needed more, you'd give him more.

That's when you realized how much you'd missed Adam. How much you'd missed his smell. How much you'd missed the warmth of his skin, how soft it was under your hands. How much you'd missed the way his hair went all over the place. How the taste of his lips was something you could never, ever do without. It was something you'd often thought about, in spite of yourself, when he'd disappeared. That if something had happened to him, you'd go the rest of your life without being able to taste him, touch him, smell him again. You'd thought that the last time you'd kissed him, you hadn't enjoyed it enough. You'd suddenly realized that Adam, his smell, his taste, the texture of his skin, his body, his laughter, his kindness, were things you'd taken for granted, to the point where you no longer savored every kiss, every caress, every sexual act. You hadn't been grateful enough to have him in your life.

I'm going to make you feel loved, you whispered. Let me take care of you.

With every caress, you felt his taut body melt beneath your hands. His eyes closed, and a moan escaped from his parted lips. You don't know whether he or you initiated the movement, but you found yourselves on the sofa, you on top of him, pressing against his little body.

I love you, Y/N, Adam murmured.

I love you too, Adam. Close your eyes.

He shook his head:

No, no… I want to see you, I want to…. he began to stammer, his voice racing.

Okay, okay, you said softly, putting a finger to his lips. Okay. Look at me.

Adam quivered under your touch, squirming pleasantly under the reassuring weight of your body, and his reddened eyes never left yours. Gently, very gently, you removed his flannel shirt, then his T-shirt, leaving him shirtless, with only a bandage on his right shoulder. You questioned him again with your eyes, checking if he was willing to continue. And he was. Fuck, yeah, he was, as evidenced by his growing erection in his pants.

I want you so much, you confided, nibbling indecently on his earlobe.

His cock almost quivered. Your kisses traveled down his neck, savoring every inch of skin beneath your lips. You could feel his pulse beating against your tongue, fast and feverish, like a caged bird. Then your lips slid down his collarbones, as Adam's hands caressed your back, urging you on. His erratic breath grazed your neck, burning. You felt yourself getting hard, very hard. Your cock pressed impatiently against your jeans. Desire surged through you, a delicious heat spreading throughout your being. You needed more, you needed him. You wanted to taste him, touch him, feel him inside you, merge with him.

Do what you want to me, you breathed against his lips, nibbling his bottom lip.

You felt Adam's fingers trembling with desire unzip your fly, freeing your throbbing cock from its denim prison.

I'm going to ravage you so, so much, said Adam in a hungry voice that sent a violent shiver down your spine.

I'd love nothing more, you replied.

His fingers wrapped around your length, and you closed your eyes, stifling a moan.

I want to hear you. Don't hold back, Adam said with a smile.

You whispered his name, and Adam's lips stretched into a satisfied smile.

Normally, he would have called you "good boy" or some other puppy name. But not here. He just started stroking you, his hand tight against your cock, going back and forth. Fuck. Fucking little bastard. He knew the perfect rhythm to make you go nuts. His thumb gently caressed your glans, spreading the precum there.

Feeling Adam jerk you off wasn't enough. You needed more. You gave desperate thrusts, and Adam smiled.

You want to ride me, don't you? he said, and fuck, that was exactly what you wanted.

In one movement, he pulled down your jeans and boxers, which ended up on the floor with his shirt. Then he got rid of his own pants, and finally took off your shirt. Your movements were messy, sloppy, and with every move you let out impatient moans. Your heart beat furiously with anticipation in your chest, your cock throbbing with impatience for Adam to touch it again.

Adam caressed your cheek, dipping his gaze into yours. His lashes were still slightly damp, his eyes still a little red. His gaze was deeply melancholy.

If you only knew how much I love you… he said.

Your fingers grazed his jaw line:

I love you too, Adam.

From your cheek, his hand slid up your neck, fingertips sliding down your spine to between your buttocks. He inserted a phalanx inside you, eliciting a pathetic, begging moan.

Second phalanx. Your cock was gorging itself with blood, you needed him so badly it was painful.

Third phalanx. He had inserted a whole finger inside you.

- Are you all right? he asked, pressed against your lips.

So thoughtful. So kind. You nodded feverishly, eager for more. He inserted another finger inside you.

So tight, he commented. So tight… you can tell I haven't taken care of you for seven days…

He paused, his breath catching, realizing what he'd just said. He bit his lip, almost ashamed:

Oh God, Y/N I'm sorry…

Fuck me, Adam, you replied. Fuck me as hard as you missed me.

He began a gentle, delicate but firm movement with his fingers, moving in and out of you, while your hand wrapped around his cock. He was harder than he'd ever been, and you could have sworn his cock was bigger than usual. You began to jerk him off, feeling him get even harder under your grip. His head tipped back and he moaned your name in such a slutty tone that my god, it's a wonder you didn't cum in the second. And his fingers, his fucking fingers, long, slender, nimble, kept pounding your ass….

Eagerly, he withdrew his fingers, aligning the tip of his cock with your entrance, pressing it gently, but with a dull impatience.

And it was you who impaled yourself on him, feeling his fingers digging into the skin of your thighs. You closed your eyes, getting used to his presence inside you, clinging to him as, inch by inch, you felt his cock filling you, stretching you.

Fuck, Y/N… he murmured with a hoarse sigh. So tight… So hot...

In that instant you were nothing but a puddle of pleasure, unable to utter a coherent sentence. You moved slowly, your muscles stretching and contracting around him, and your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders.

He put his hand on the back of your neck to draw your face to his. You felt his lips curve into a wry, greedy smirk.

Are you ready? he asked, a purely rhetorical question, because he knew you were more than ready.

He kissed you, his tongue caressing yours fervently. You responded eagerly, your breath coming in short, ragged gasps. It was almost too exhilarating. His hands reached for your buttocks, and with his hips, he set a faster and faster rhythm, his eyes still in yours, his breathing quickening with his movements.

Faster, Adam, harder… you moaned, burying all restraint, all rationality.

Adam obeyed with undisguised joy. His hips slammed into your buttocks with violence as he pounded you with all-consuming passion, sending little electric jolts through your whole body. Your hands caressed his torso, moving up to his face, cupping his cheek. He tilted his head to one side and caught your thumb between his lips, sucking it with an innocent yet mischievous expression.

Do you like what you see? he asked, your thumb still in his mouth. You'd like something else in my mouth, wouldn't you?

His tongue swirled around your thumb and he smirked at you. You imagined him with your cock deep in his throat, your hands in his hair, guiding his rhythm. You pushed your thumb deeper into his mouth. Your imagination galloped as you straddled him.

His fingers tightened a little more on your buttocks, and he quickened the pace a little more, his backstrokes becoming messier, more desperate. You could feel the tension building inside you, each stroke bringing you a little closer to a precipice into which you were only waiting for one thing: to fall.

Adam… you moaned, and your body arched, sending him to the gates of his release.

He was the first to come, his cock throbbing inside you, spilling deep inside you. You came right after him, spraying a trickle of semen down his torso, all the way to his face.

Your body collapsed onto his like a house of cards, and almost instinctively he tightened his arms around you, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Your fingers tangled in his hair.

I love you, Adam, you say. Thanks for…

I needed it, he said hoarsely. I wanted… I wanted…

His face buries itself in your neck.

It's okay, now. We're together, you say.

He nodded, and you felt a few tears mingle with his warm breath against your skin. You moved to find yourself lying next to him, withdrawing Adam from you and getting used to the sensation of now being empty.

You gently turned him on his side and he came to snuggle up to you, a sobbing little spoon who, until a few minutes ago, was fucking you as if his life depended on it. You scratched his head affectionately.

It'll be okay, Adam, you promise.

Oh, yes, there would be bad days. But you'd be there.

[bloomingstay]

favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!

who is your favorite kpop group?

stray kids, if that was any surprise

which member sparked your interest first?

hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??

But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again

who was your first bias?

chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…

what makes them your current bias?

oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)

it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp

who is your bias wrecker?

i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.

i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?

in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him

after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.

hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍

when did you first discover the group?

(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)

okokok so

i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing

but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.

then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)

THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

not yet~

what are some of your favorite songs by them?

THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)

Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts

levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.

secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?

leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies

sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.

megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.

gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else

domino. neeed I say more

social path is bomb

grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow

eternity. told u I’d cheat.

love poem. big cheat my list worth it

I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.

the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3

@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife

Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!

[feuqueerfire]

Lovely Runner Live Blogging

I've been seeing the “i found you girl i like being around you” edits on tiktok but before then, i’d also heard about the show and saw an ep 1 clip of when she runs up to him at the swimming pool. i’m a time travel show enjoyer and this show has been getting such good reviews, so I’m excited. my last few shows have been quite dark and violent and i kinda wanna go for another such show but think a lighter (yet emotional) show might do me some good so that i don’t burn out

Ep 1 (June 25)

2009

omg…

ah, he encouraged her to live through this time when she was contemplating suicide and ig later on she will do the same bc he unfortunately takes his own life before the time travel i think

Dec 31, 2022

13 years, how old were they then and how old are they now?

oh i knew she was a fan but she’s a biiiig fan

ah, they were in high school at the same time and his high school was across hers

some fans hate Sunjae bc he’s too popular and getting opportunities

the band members also seem to not like him and it could be bc of his popularity but he also seems resistant to being an idol in general and wants to retire so that might have smth to do with it

wow she’s really having a tough day: rejected from job bc it has no elevator and she has a wheelchair, late to the concert, and then lost the ticket omg

this scene of Sunjae putting in his in-ear and going on stage is now iconic to me bc of the edits, kept expecting to hear “i found you girl i like being around you” as background music loll

she’s really determined to be positive and make the most of everything, i expect a breaking point soon though

oh, in hyuk doesn’t want him to retire

phone crack

wheelchair stops

yeah the tears finally. what a fucking day

hehe they meet in the current timeline

lolll her getting annoyed that her friend came just when she could’ve been getting a ride w Sunjae

what is that jar that she gave him?

was it Sunjae who saved her from the accident?

the watch was weird for a second. i guess that's gonna be The Object that takes her back/causes everything

ahh he took meds and jumped off into the swimming pool.

this reminds me a bit of True Beauty but like the friend who passed away

time of death: Jan 1, 2023. 12am

dead at 34, so was 21 in 2009? 19 or 20 interactional age?

The fact that she Just saw him alive and seemingly well a few hours ago must make it even more unbelievable

Traveled back

her legs work again

okay, I'd seen this Instagram edit of this scene as the very first thing I saw from this show but I didn't know when I first watched it just how awkward/embarassing this is T.T

aw, is he also going through something now? her talking about how he went through this alone made him soften

SHE SAID SARANGHAE SUNJAE-AH?! please

her still being like 'this is my dream' oh she's gonna be mortified when she realizes this is real in a time travel universe

lolol she's like I'm not dreaming? Fuck, am I dead?

pls i'm dying, Sunjae's so confused while she's acting as if they're both dead now (and mustn't cross the bridge)

so did Sunjae take the watch?

Ah, he probably had to quit being a swimmer and become an idol in the original timeline too because of his shoulder

June 2008

So are they seniors in high school right now?

ahh she gets to see her grandma from 14 years ago when she still recognized Sol before alzheimers or whatever T.T

Aw, Sol cries every time she looks at Sunjae

ah, the parallels of Sunjae holding the umbrella over Sol and asking why she's crying now and in the original timeline

I watched around the first 30-40 minutes of this episode on my iPad while I was on the train (and also like 10 minutes in a restaurant lol). I'm likely going to have to take the train a lot starting the second week of July so I had been thinking that maybe I'll save this one for that time and watch like some raunchy BLs and GLs now that I can't watch on the train but the first ep was quite good, I think I'll binge it now oof.

Ep 2 (July 6)

Since Episode 1, I've watched My Stand-In Eps 1 - 11, Blank Season 1, and reread Mistborn: The Final Empire.

"i can fool a 19-year-old, right?" lol Sol

who is this guy? i know there's a love triangle, is this the second lead?

the people who go back in time/become younger scolding the other kids who seem the same age as them is always funny

ah, so funny, he's the first guy Sol stanned

lmfao please why's he running after the bus

the little icons getting farther and farther away and the song about going farther away playing lmfao

omg, she can't tell him the future/what will happen if he does something? time stops?

woah, you really could just stop time and do a bunch of stuff while shouting future facts lmfao

pls, this future-telling grandma cosplay

Sunjae jealous of Taesung already

how does she keep finding herself in these situations, plssss

like Sunjae is literally so correct to be like what the fuck like actually but also T.T

that guy is indeed Sunjae's father and lmfao Sunjae was the one who borrowed the porn/erotic VHS that Sol's mother has been on the dad's case about

overly dramatic crosswalk scene but i guess it's fine since it's mirroring how she probably got into her accident originally and she has trauma from it

she's the one who gave Sunjae an umbrella first! Also i've def seen this scene from a tiktok or smth

pls so he didn't even mean to borrow the erotic video? smh

this is kinda like My School President when Tinn was trying to impress Gun but everything went wrong and he was being a loser lol

so these two episodes effected the future and there's a photo of Sunjae and Sol on the table but it didn't change the death

Ep 3 (July 6/7)

ah, so he didn't injure himself this time?

hilarious that he can't seem to confess while she's fangirling and cooing over him

the dad left his shoe like cinderella lmfao

eughhhh she's like fuck, you don't want me to be your fan anymore? let's be friends! while he's trying to confess

Sunjae's dad dramatic + full of expectations and pressure + getting ahead of himself

and Sunjae also not tell him about the injury

omg her brother and her friend are both home not noticing the fire in their sight?

does that much water even do anything to a fire? feels like you're not supposed to be doing that...

I wish they hadn't done this fire scene so humorously with the brother and friend, kinda took away from the weight of it. also i wonder if the fire or her mother burning her hand won't still happen bc stuff like the shoulder injury or the ball hitting Im Sol still happened even if in a different way than the original timeline

aw, glad his dad understood

lol she's drunk, how cute

is she gonna forget the confession and kiss? since she's yknow legit drunk. i wonder if ppl made a fuss about it because if it was a bl, this would def have been Discussed in the fandom

ah, ofc she doesn't rmr

bruh aghh it's like I can see where this is going with her listening to the recording + Taesung spotting her + Sunjae being far enough behind that he'll see them (+ he thinks he confessed last night and expects her to remember the kiss too)

i'm gonna kill somebody, she didn't even pause so the "I like you" is just playing with nobody to hear

omg travelling to original timeline

girl what?! how could you say you want to date Taesung or is that not really happening or like what's going onnnnn

Ep 4 (July 7)

Oh, Sunjae had not only saved her but was at the hospital too. He'd liked her throughout his high school time i guess but what about that final night, did he recognize her even then?

oh, he had. wild

ohhh she gave him a bunch of the candy that night that she had given him the very first time when she mistook him for a mailman

hmm okay so the Sunjae POV we got of that night was the original timeline before Sol's time travel thing, right? because the photo wasn't there? and the timeline that Sol's waking up in right now is slightly different based on what she had done?

ok the future had indeed changed

omg what the hell, why did that timeline's Sol reject Sunjae like that, like in this timeline, they were friends??? unless Sunjae was being a creep fr

i got spoiled about she can come back 3 times but how does she know only 1 time is left? also it's just been 10 days?! so why did Sol react like that, wtf

ah, so it's like she's kinda fighting with her 19-year-old self from the past who's in love with Taesung? and doesn't know Sunjae?!?! weird...

so the 19-year-old Sol thought she was possessed because her memory from when older-Sol came back was missing... interesting and complicating

lmfaoo exactly, I was saying she could stop time but shouting out future facts. hilarious to have her shouting celeb marriages

plsss how's she asleep on his floor

"i don't make friends with girls. how can a girl and a guy be friends?" alright lol.

why do we have Hyunjoo pooping her pants and that furthering her romance (?) with Sol's brother come onnn

ah, Taesung mommy issues and feelings of abandonment

yknow I do like Taesung and Im Sol's banter and back-and-forth

i'm cryinggggg, not young-Sol's birthday event for Taesung

it's suchhh a long song, i'm dying. and young Sol's fashion pls

hehe Sol telling Taesung how to treat young-Sol is cute actually

so many weird men... that taxi that went away? and now this guy...

is this Sol's accident but in this timeline?

ah, Sol realizing that Sunjae had saved her

okay, in that original timeline, i thought they just called a random number maybe and was confused and ig that's true but Sunjae specifically called Im Sol's number? or what? how'd he know it? and he knew that it was her he was talking to.

Ep 5 (July 7)

i wonder how the accident happened the first time and why Sunjae was there back then

this bra returning scene reminds me of True Beauty but I can't remember what Suho was trying to give Im Jukyeong, idk why I keep thinking pads??

okay i was gonna be tormented, so I skimmed and it's on ep 2 of True Beauty. She accidentally gave Suho a bag that said "thanks for keeping my bare face a secret" but he hadn't recognized her, so to get it back, she'd said that it has pads (i remembered this part at least)

cryingggg at her being like hmm he said he can't be friends with girls, so all those "just friends" rumours with girls were all real romances (as idol Sunjae). anyway i doubt it bc he seemed to forever be in love with her even over a decade later and that's just a trope I'm gonna have to get used to.

yesss i love a girl saving a guy from the common motorcycle/car trope and also girl kabadoning guy

Sol is cute trying to block all mentions of the swimming Olympics from Sunjae but plsss it's all becoming romantic moments and also iffy when you think about young-Sol having a boyfriend

oh, cop mentioning burying a body... i think I've heard that this show has a serial killer

in the original timeline, the taxi driver with the key indeed did something? but this time the other guy got there? and he's the serial killer or what

damn, taxi driver has Sol's flip phone

not Sol's brother and Sunjae meeting but Sunjae being punished for giving Sol alcohol

cryinggg Sunjae being curious and looking at Taesung's profile but he finds out

pls Sunjae getting mad at Sol's inability to bike reminds me of Tinn yelling at Gun about not knowing any math (My School President). when even the down bad secret crush bearing Sunjae and Tinn lose their minds teaching Sol and Gun lmfao

girl, why is Sunjae buying the same jacket as Taesung T.T but ig they're gonna have him fill in for the vocal... but he's not gonna fill in for Taesung

how humiliating to run into Taesung just as Sunjae bought and wore the bright red jacket because Taesung owns it too yikesss

and that's how the eclipse happened, though Taesung isn't in it for much longer i guess?

Taesung watching Sol watch Sunjae perform reminds me of Twinkling Watermelon

oh, intense yelling from Sol

double whammy of hearing the confession recording finally and Sunjae also telling her to break up with Taesung at the same time

Ep 6 (July 8)

ah, I’m Sol broke up with Taesung but I don’t know if that’s the end of it… but she also knows Sunjae’s confession…

sunjae is quite fun to watch like his despair at his “breakup with taesung” thing going wrong vs joy when taesung got broken up with

Sol’s brother does bother me, why is he so annoying

pls both Sunjae and Sol holding back to appear cool/not “shake the other’s heart” aghhh

Taesung’s “Oh, I think I liked you a lot” is funny

not Taesung getting into a car crash, damn it

so is Sep 1 the day her accident happens? I don’t remember the date. is it gonna happen again even though the bridge thing already happened? or is it a different thing?

Taesung’s dad (?) Kim cop is investigating the case of a he dead bod?

nooo now he has their address bc of grandma

oh, Sunjae confession

Taesung in hospital but his dad doesn’t visit and his friend doesn’t believe in him + he calls Sunjae to let him know that Sol’s mother is at the hospital, oh man

aw mannn Sol rejecting Sunjae because she knows she’s not in the right timeline and is gonna have to leave soon etc. does she realize she’s the one he liked in the original timeline too? he’s talking about liking the rain and on the original timeline radio show he also mentioned it

not having to take an umbrella to Sunjae on the day of Sol’s accident! and after she almost stayed home all day

omg she’s realizing right now that she was his first love back then too and she didn’t “confuse him”

tbf maybe this mans would’ve gotten her even if she didn’t leave right then. a fucking kidnapping

omg this taxi fucker really took her Again D:

Ep 7 (July 8)

oh on that original accident too Sol missed her stop on the bus and Sunjae was waiting with her in the bus, that’s how he was there on the time of her accident on save her

i’m watching this on the subway on my commute to/from work but there are two people talking in korean beside me and i feel awkward watching a kdrama beside them lol

okay they left a couple minutes later

oh at this bridge where her original accident happened is where she dropped that watch and the first time she time travelled, right?

omg who the hell grabbed her in this timeline? bc taxi driver was in the taxi still

good job to sunjae for connecting everything and figuring out the reservoir lmfao

ah, she went back to her time again and the young-Sol is back but also that's kind of oh no in a way, though Sunjae's clever i wonder if he'll be able to figure it out?

i knew from pics i saw that she can use her lefts in the future

Sunjae survived too

pls not her getting mistaken for a sasaeng, i don't even wanna watch anymore

what a different life

damn, young-Sol had another kidnapping a year later?

oh naurrr is Sunjae doing the "who are you? do we know each other?" thing because young-Sol did this to him after he helped her with the kidnapper?

oh he's not even here, it was a scenario in her head lol

lmfao crying, this Sunjae lovesss the attention and fame (though not the stalking)

the shenanigans of them justtt missing each other every time

i can't believe we're getting random enemies-to-lovers right now, especially with them texting each other antagonistically, this is soooo fun

i seriously need to go to sleep but ahh

owww

oh, the concert didn't happen

ah, and they met on the bridge again

35 minutes after my bedtime already, gonna take a while to fall asleep too, whelp

Ep 8 (July 9)

omg Sunjae got the time capsule egg before it got torn down and he even waited on Jan 1, 2023 fully expecting her to come - and she did, so why didn’t they meet?

and Sunjae got the watch from the time capsule

hmmm would he happen to travel back in time at all? bc she travelled back with his watch and maybe he can travel back with her watch?? esp if smth happens to her idk

lmfao pls not the hotel where they can be alone together

but also he’s an idol going with a random girl lmfao

i loveeeee Sol omg she’s so funny and endearing as she’s talking about how she didn’t mean they should have a passionate night and also mentions that they had crushes on each other in a throwaway line but she doesn’t wanna skip intros and get to the conclusion But she’s not judging sunjae for thinking that, they just have different values lmfao what a cutie but sunjae’s gonna act clueless like oh? what were you thinking as if he doesn’t know what this insinuates

i loveeee celeb/non-celeb romance esp when it actually shows the reporters and rumours and fans and such and how they can affect/limit the relationship

he has such a big house why not hide the cut out in some random storage room omg

pls and now Sunjae thinks she plans to stay the night and have sex lmfao

true Inhyuk would be like what the hell, Sunjae can’t fall for Im Sol again!!

Taesung?

Inhyuk talking about how Sunjae’s liked only Im Sol this whole time and kept going back to her old house whenever he was drunk while Sol can hearrrrr

ah, she confessed that she used to like him too

i kept being nervous that Taesung would somehow be in the house but Sunjae/Sol first kiss!

isn't it crazy fr, after 15 years you finally meet again and this time the girl you've loved forever confesses back and you kisssss and it's not a shitty one either

what the hell, the fuckass taxi driver is here too? that was indeed Taesung before right or did i mistake taxi driver for Taesung, I hope not

"Even if somebody sent me back to the past, I would never gamble with my future" whelp Hyunjoo, don't foreshadow too hard

the stalker makes me nervous both in terms of what if that person was the person who was knocking or whatever the night Sunjae died and also what if she finds out that Sunjae's dating Sol and does something to either of them?

okayyyy, so the taxi driver mans went and attacked Sunjae, was it the same thing in the previous iterations too?

I listened to the Afternoona Soju podcast episode and learned about 2 scenes: Sunjae and Taesung drink and do karaoke together and cuddle to sleep, and Sunjae's speech envelope + Sol's resignation letter get swapped so he ends up saying that out loud as a speech

Ep 9 (July 9)

so as hinted, a year after she came back to the current timeline, in the young timeline 2009, the taxi guy kidnapped Im Sol again and Sunjae saved her again and that's what caused that guy to get jailed until now

i loveee 2009 freshman Sol's hair, beautifully bangs and wavy hair

Hyunjoo's joyoush "hmm" and nod at 33:50 after Sol asks her if it was her idea is sooooo good omg i replayed several times

omg, the sudden "are you really from the future?" that had like no build-up, so I was surprised hehe

ahhh they kissed accidentally ofc they did, ig we'll see Sunjae and Sol married by the end?

Ep 10 (July 10)

ah, makes sense that Sunjae wouldn’t actually believe the time travel stuff oof

pls hiding under the table is so T.T

oh she’s telling Taesung about the time travel too

i like it when in a love triangle the guys try to impress the family like now with the flooding and in Ture Beauty with the dumplings but it’s annoying when they let it get the best of them and don’t care about what’s actually happening like why are you up arguing and making a mess instead of helping clean up wtf

i do like Sunjae Taesung antagonizing when it’s like verbal and witty not physical fights

oof Taesung telling Sunjae that he shouldn’t even be jealous of him bc Sol clearly likes Sunjae

Superstar K vs going to the states

ah, he digs up the time capsule and figures out that he dies (possibly because of trying to protect Sol) that time in the future

oh, the billboards changed and Eclipse is releasing their new album instead of Sunjae’s stabbing hmm i can’t tell bc im watching on my phone but is Sunjae in that photo?

Ep 11 (July 10)

ARE THEY GONNA GET BACK REFUNDS FOR THE PLANE AND THE REHABILITATION? and are they gonna get the luggage back?!

not this kissing gossip lmfao

yknpw technically this is a noona romance in this timeline 3x Sol x 20 Sunjae (krn age)

the “should we roll back another minute? if you give me another chance, i’ll do my best” thing is soooo cute like Sunjae fr was just going for the remote not the kiss like Sol thought

i’m crying from second hand embarrassment at the parents and brother finding them like this and am dreading the hundreds of condoms reveal T.T plssss and even Basic instincts got brought up again and Sunjae having to cover Im Sol’s ears i cannotttttt, how humiliating

the condoms flying out like this is really and truly killing me i can’t watch fuckkk if i was sunjae i would have to leave move away say good bye to Sol like life death and time could not make me stop loving you but this… in front your family? yeah i’d learn to live

lmfao the family meeting was very funny

he sings sonagi for her on a stage ahhh first of all he’d died but she gets to see him sing again + knows it’s about her this time

ah this fucking killer mans

Ep 12 (July 10)

ofc both Sol and Sunjae are gonna try to stop the murderer

lol will Sunjae get jealous of In Hyuk lmao

i can't watch this toilet water nothing pls at least use the water that's stored in the tank of the toilet not in the fucking bowlll

is the institution just that they made out? because i don't think they had sex?

lmfao maybe now the MIL and FIL will finally get along

omg, she's pretending to have gone back so that Sunjae doesn't stay with her at this place where the attacker's gonna come

oh also i'd figured out the 3 lives thing a while back btw i'd been like how does she know w/ certainty that she has 3 chances but the clock said 3, then 2, and now it's at 1

Ep 13 (July 11)

just go so frustrated that Youngsoo figured out that Sol was setting a trap bc that guy put his hand on her to check but Sol ended up shouting for Detective Kim eughhh such planning and yet

and Sunjae runs into him right then ofc

not Sunjae getting knifed! and falling off he cliff!!!

oh, Sol returned

girl where the hell is Sunjae like nice to see Sol’s life and Taesung but c’mon

i got spoiled about the letter switching and Sunjae giving actor award speech from Sol’s resignation letter so i don’t have like The Suspence for this

ohhh Sunjae’s watch also became a time machine

oh my godddd his time machine also takes Sol back in time for some reason and she literally cuts it off right at the beginning?!?! doesn’t give him the umbrella in the rain

curious about how they’ll explain the killer stuff in the past if Sunjae’s not there to save Sol?

Ep 14 (July 11)

so Sol and family just move away soon after like Sunjae still has his sling? yknow what let me not think too much

lolol articles coming out. i didn’t realize he was just gonna be mc-ing

ahhh Ryu Sun Jae is gonna be acting in Im Sol’s script?!

ouch the script hurts (though she’s plagiarizing so hard from alternate timeline Sunjae!!)

both of them busy trying to reject the script/actor but omg poor Sol. it sucks so bad to be the one who remembers, like when Sunjae used to remember while young Sol forgot and now thisssss after everything

another enemies to lovers arc

okay i was wondering how we’d go back to Sunjae knowing but ig he’ll get dreams and memories

oh, the murderer is gonna attack the sasaeng girl instead?

Sunjae is just Meant to be obsessed with Sol in every timeline ig

yaas the lottery tickets truly a must for a fucking time travel anything

ah the ferris wheel

Ep 15 (July 11)

the taxi driver can’t be obsessed w Sol in this timeline too right esp bc it’s been 15 years since his interest in the original tl

not Sol’s mom trying to set Sol up with sunjae now loll how the tables have turned

lmfao this time it’s Sunjae hiding from Sol when usually it was the other way around in the past timelines

oh, the killer is actually targeting Sunjae straight up this time maybe, not Sol first

Sunjae’s memory coming back in flashes

oh, he's got it all back

omg dramatic. killer guy almost got Sunjae again and then for a second I got nervous that Taesung was gonna crash like the other way so that killer T-bones his car

Ep 16 (July 11)

last ep!! 1h 19 mins instead of the usual 61-63 mins

killer dies just like that

ahh meeting again after remembering

"because he died, somebody else might get to live"

they kiss pretty nice

the parents do make me laugh, the dad being like hah i know Sunjae chose a good, beautiful girl to date while the mother's like hah i know she's no beauty

ah, marriage and wedding, cute

Overall:

A fun show with a fun concept and great acting + romance. It was funny and delightful most of the time, there was a kind of killer/suspense aspect but that wasn't really ever the Focus, Sunjae being killed was the focus; similarly, they didn't thoroughly explain the time travel because the mechanics wasn't the focus, Sol going back was the focus.

I liked Sunjae and Sol together and it was fun seeing how Sunjae was slightly different in the different timelines lol I liked seeing the couple on high school, college, as idol!Sunjae and actor!Sunjae. It did feel a bit like consistency was lost in their relationship but that was the point i guess. It was a very romantic concept, the way they were falling in love in every timeline.

Everything about it was good and I was engaged, I just don’t think I’d think about it much though. Kinda reminds me of When I Fly Towards You c-drama in that way; a cute youthful romance drama but I'm not hung up on it. At least it kept me company during my commute of the first week at my new internship.

Rating: 7/10

[lynsburner]

BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE DID YOU SEE THE VID OF ANDY SINGING UNKNOWN ON STAGE????

https://twitter.com/hozier/status/1666156710816251927?s=46&t=LSoyIXqT91OLGNpISabobw

“you know the distance never made a difference to me” THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS YOUR FIC 😭 this song is sooooo andy/lovely core im obsessed!! i can’t wait for it to come out, A) bc it sounds amazing already, and B) bc im so excited to hear your thoughts on it!!!

Oh... bestie... you might not like my answer for this one because I am absolutely begging him to put this one bACK IN THE VAULT (or whatever it is. Sorry I have too much Taylor on my mind after going to the eras tour twice now. And for the last time, I swear.)

Is it a bad song? Absolutely fucking not. It's gorgeous. But it hits a little too close to home for me.

So... I am about to tell a silly story. Picture this. It is late September. I am SEATED to see Carly Rae Jepsen at Radio City. I check twitter (yes I am on the hoz side of twitter. Not under this name, though lol). People are freaking out about a tik tok he made. I had only seen a small clip posted of him jamming on a guitar so I think nothing of it.

The curtain goes up. Carly comes on. I am having the most fun two hours of my life because how can't you when you get to hear the best opening number for an album ever made, sax and all? She ends with Cut to the Feeling, one of the most joyous songs ever made! I am on a happiness high! Nothing can ruin my night!

And then I am sitting at the bus stop and I check tik tok and realize it was a full song! A full song about a long-distance relationship! And I start SOBBING!!!! Because guess what? That song is SAD!

So I go from absolutely forgetting every bad thing that had ever happened to me to full-on crying about a failed relationship I was still not over!!! In the middle of 5th Avenue, no less!!!!

Idk if you've heard the full thing, but it is DEPRESSING! It's basically the opposite of Francesca (or the "I'd do it all over again" motif) ! He literally sings "And there are some people, love, who are better unknown" like??? Imagine thinking you're better off never someone than knowing them at all! (which, I know is my interpretation, and I can very much be wrong but that's what it's giving to me!) I can imagine! I was still in that mindset! Especially since this one was about a long-distance relationship! It hit me too fucking hard!!! I have literally ignored every live performance I've come across of it on social media since because it makes me absolutely sob!!! I wish I was joking!

Anyway, a hilarious bookend to this: the day he announced in that Instagram Q&A the date Unknown was officially being released? Guess who I was seeing in concert that night? That's right! Carly Rae FUCKING Jepsen!!!!! *Insert the "If I had a nickel" meme here*

But yeah, he got the real long-distance thing down to a fucking t, especially with the second verse, "Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy. If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in thе mind of me" because yeah, you can forgive a lot of shit when the person isn't physically in front of you! Also, "Where a blinding light shonе on you every night Either side of my sleep" to me is just a fancy little way of saying face time/late night calls lol. (Again, I could be wrong, but still!)

But (I am sorry for repeating "But"... BUT!) he also confirmed it's from circle 9, which is treachery! Which... well I am not defining a successful relationship as treachery, I'm sorry! Judas is in that circle! And I did too many years in Catholic school to know what that guy fucking did!

Anyway, unlike me and my ex (and whoever the fuck Hoz is singing about, may they have their peace and never have to hear this one randomly in a store or some shit), Andrew and Lovely are definitely on better terms in my mind and are absolutely thriving <3 As I said before, love those crazy kids! They're in their own universe probably looking at rings as we speak! Or face-timing since he's out on the road! Good for them!

This is also not an insult to long-distance relationships in general. I loved that shit. It was wonderful! The guy, though? He sucks! And I am still doing some reflecting on that (which I am sure will continue once I force myself to listen to Unknown in a non tik tok way!)

Lovely Anon, I know this is not the answer you expected, but hopefully, it makes you chuckle! Or at least gets you to listen to the greatest album ever made: Emotion, by Carly Rae Jepsen!

PS: thank you for that other ask because I have been putting "no plan" back into my rotation of songs and oh boy I forgot how fucking good it was!!!!!

PPS: I hope this didn't come off as too, "Uhm, actually!" because that was not my intent! The opening, out of context, is absolutely Lovely and Andrew coded! But the rest? Oh, she has words for him!!!!!

[acrossthestage]

Diamond Edge in Manila

Date: October 6, 2017 | Venue: Mall of Asia Arena

First time meeting the loves of my life.

After having my heart broken by Shining Diamonds in Manila in 2016, I promised myself I will attend all of SEVENTEEN's future concerts in the Philippines. My first two concerts kinda eased the concert-goer culture into my parents. We had established a system -- once in a while, there will be a concert I'd want to go to and we'll hire a car to take me to the venue. I'm glad we figured that one out, because then the only thing I have to stress over is how I'm going to save money to buy the concert ticket.

I don't know if it was before or after One K Concert, but I saved up for Diamond Edge for MONTHS from my school allowance. Fortunately, I had saved enough to get lower box just in time for the ticketing. That was my first time not being in the general admission section.

For the ticketing, the plan was that I will go to SM Sta. Rosa to get a ticket after school. I don't remember what time my class ends back then, but it was pretty late. Probably around 5-6PM. The boys were already getting bigger during this time because they've already released Don't Wanna Cry. I knew there would be nothing good waiting for me at SM Cinema if I get there at 6PM. So I decided to ditch classes, and instead of riding a jeep to school, I rode the jeep to SM Muntinlupa at past 5:30 AM. People were staring at me because they could see my uniform and the route I'm taking was literally opposite to my university LMAOOOO. (If my mom sees this post -- Nanay, please forgive me. I still graduated with honors anyway!)

I did get a good seat and regret nothing.

Seeing SEVENTEEN for the first time felt...extraordinary. I can still remember how I hard stared at the members to indulge their existence. They were there. In front of me. Moving. Dancing. All I had in my mind was "so like... they're actually real."

I remember screaming so hard for Junhui and Minghao. Mainly because they were so crazy performing My I, but also because they were not present at Shining Diamonds in Manila and I wanted them to know we waited for them and we're SO stoked to finally see them!!!

I heard a lot of my favorite songs, but I was the most emotional when they performed Habit. That was like my favorite song for a long, long time and vocal team's live vocals were just *chef's kiss*

This was also my first time finally chanting "열시십분" for Hoshi's ment, screaming "beautiful!" right after they scream "our carats are", and doing the iconic OT13 fanchant.

Diamond Edge was a dream come true. I think it's really one of the moments that cemented SEVENTEEN in my life. There's something about seeing and hearing them live that just makes you think "these are the artists I want to support for a really long time." And the first time I saw them in person, I just knew I'd strive to meet them again in the years to come.

[juliensvault]

Srs here once again! Thanks so much :) their names are Gordo and Rocky!! Gordo is 6, and Rocky is 11 months old (I've only had him for about 2 months though)! Tortoises are really awesome pets, especially since they're quite easy to take care of. Mine actually sleep in my bed, lol.

I'll definitely have to check out Paleface Swiss, they sound super good!! My favorite genre of metal has to be Melodic death metal right now! Children Of Bodom is a really good band in that genre! And as for my favorite Metallice song, I'd have to say either For Whom The Bell Tolls or Harvester Of Sorrow! I went to two Metallica concerts in August of this year, and they played both of them, which almost made me cry!!

Have you ever been to any concerts? If so, what band(s) did you see? :⁠-⁠D

Hiii again! I've never really thought about having a tortoise as a pet, but now I kind of want one, LMAO! That's so funny how one sleeps in your bed! 🐢

I've heard of Children of Bodom, but I haven't taken the time to really listen to them. I shuffled their discography and got 'Trashed, Lost And Strungout' which I liked a lot and added to my huge metal playlist(s)! I'd love to hear your personal recommendations from them as well!!! (My favorite Metallica song is Moth into Flame, by the way:))

Alternative metal came out #1 on my wrapped this year, but I think my favorite genre of metal is probably nu or deathcore.

My first ever concert was Jinjer, Breaking Benjamin, and Disturbed as the headliner, which was SO fun. Those bands are so good live and I totally recommend seeing them! I also just saw a big collection of bands at a small venue in September, which actually had Paleface Swiss as the headliner!! AHHHH! I saw Tracheotomy, VCTMS, Enterprise Earth, Crown Magnetar, and Paleface Swiss in one night. (all AMAZING deathcore and metalcore bands) Absolutely mind-blowing.

What concerts have you been to? And what artists are on your concert bucket list?

- 🎸

[emometalhead]

for the music asks!!! 2, 6, 11, 14, 16, 23, 24 !!! love youuuuu <33

Syd!!!!! ILYSM!!!!! 🩷🩷🩷

2. who is the artist you put on to cry to?

I don't have a specific artist I put on to cry! I have a playlist of some songs that consistently make me cry, but I haven't actually listened to it! Tbh I cry a lot, so I really don't need music to make me cry lol. When I do turn on music while crying the artist/genre kind of depend on if I'm trying to lean into the mood or fix it.

6. what was the first concert you went to?

My first concert was Train! It was in 2015, and the openers were Matt Nathanson and The Fray. It was a lot of fun! We actually got free tickets. Someone my dad worked with at the time was dating someone that worked at the venue, so we got free tickets like the day of the concert since there were open seats. I was really into Train at the time, and I liked the openers too, so it was a cool experience! Plus obviously it sparked a love of concerts!!! 🖤

11. do you prefer loud booming speakers or quiet in headphones?

It depends on my mood, but generally I prefer to play music out loud on speakers!! I love singing along to music, but I don't do that if I'm listening through headphones.

14. who is the most overrated artist in your opinion?

Probably Tool. I just don't get the hype. I know they have a large and dedicated fan base, but I can't quite figure out why! I've tried to listen to their music on multiple occasions, and I can't get through a single song. I attempted to watch their set at a festival, and even live I couldn't see the appeal.

16. tell us the name of a song that most people probably don’t know but you absolutely adore

Refugee by Tribal Ink!! If you're looking for a new (old) nu metal song, I highly recommend it!!

23. how did you discover your favorite artist?

I'm going to give my answers for Taylor and FOB. With Taylor, I can't quite remember! I remember hearing the Fearless album shortly after it came out, but I couldn't tell you for certain how I heard it. I was 5, and You Belong With Me was my favorite song though!

With Fall Out Boy, I first discovered them when I was 3/4. Dance Dance was on a video game that my family had (Dance Dance Revoltion), and I was obsessed!!!! I'd turn on the game just to hear the song even though I sucked at the game back then lol.

24. which song do you want played at your funeral?

I spent a lot of time thinking about this, and I really can't come up with an answer. I don't think I have strong feelings about this one.

Thank you SO MUCH for asking!!!!!!!!

Questions

[fannationdaily]

Your mom is so cute I over heard you two outside she's so happy she met kidd g and had a good time sounds like he made an impression on her that's cute

Yes she hasn't stopped talking about it or him until she goes to bed,we eat,other self care or we are watching TV lol . 🤣Little annoying but yes cute she's so happy. It's nice to see her happy and she's all "Tell that man to come back" and I was like he's touring mom he won't be back this year but he might be back a 3rd time next tour. And she was all "WHAT!!!!!! He's been here before?" Yup at the chase Matthew one everyone said he was there I couldn't get us tix cuz they were sold out 🥺🤣 and she was all "Aww well He better come back" 🤣 I was like hopefully I'll have my learners atleast by then and can drive us to where ever if not. But I gotta make sure my eyes are back to normal again..I can't be driving then lose my eye sight or have them go very blury again...but ...by no means am I a professional at this as professionals are confused and still insistent about more tests but... I think it was the emotional state I was in like past few years have been ALOT on me facing homelessness [2016] , Losing my cat and my sister's [ 2021 &2022] to watching my dad get worse then watching him get better and fight his illnesses and say everything was ok then BOOM a few days after his last Facebook post and text he was gone! Our last convo was he was gonna be ok and he was gonna be rich then his last status was I KID U NOT "Funny how someone thinks she can get my death benefits while I'm still alive and even when I die she can't " that was like the 18th then the 23rd of January he was gone . She got the money but not what my dad was talking about before he died during the last phone conversation I asked who it was about and what those were and he said "Survivors kiddo I'm gonna live for ever...that's the plan anyway kiddo...but when my time comes " dad no that's like jinxing your life please don't " no kiddo u have to know this when I go she can't get those unless we get married and stay married for over 5 years kiddo you call SSA and inform them I'm gone when that day comes but kiddo u know me I'm a fighter u just have to know this stuff kiddo I love u . " Any way yeah I think my brain just needs to rest a bit and be happy again like at concerts... since this summer I haven't had another [what I call it] eye attack again which is good. Those were scary AF I'd lose sight completely for up to a minute or they'd go super blury like when u cry too much but their were no tears at these times. As I was at the professional eye place one happened and they got it on the exam cam things but they're still stumped at what it is meanwhile my mom thinks it could be ms as this happened to her first time she got it but they can't do those tests yet I'm on a waiting list as I didn't fit in the machine thing ...for once the issue wasn't my weight but my boobs 🤣🤣🤣 and they couldn't test me with the thing they enclose on your head as I freaked out I have a phobia of enclosed places where I can't get out and they legit lock the box thing around your head I did my best to stay calm but they were all "yeah no she can't make it through this help her up Emily breathe it's ok it's ok " I tried 🤷‍♀️ They say for the next one they'll be having me have anxiety stuff and probably drozy/have me drift to sleep not anesthesia but similar to it 🤷‍♀️. I'm happy I haven't had anymore of those. I can thank my idols for that. This summer was the worst without my dad but also THE BEST as I went to 4 concerts with my mom. 🤗 Making memories with my mom is great.

[bleedingheartbird]

woah, it's been a while since I last had this dream...

dreamt I quit the media design studies and went into economy instead. got a dorm room all to myself, bathroom and mini kitchen included. did pretty well and befriended a metalhead down the hall. we were soulmates and would meet up regularly to listen to his legendary album collection. even went to a couple concerts and had the greatest time. was honestly ready to platonically spend the rest of my life with him.

he was beautiful and so sweet and nice and had great taste in music. but then one day he died under mysterious circumstances, his parents swooped in and sold off all his belongings, not even checking in with his friends if they'd like to have any of his things to remember him by.

went to a junky antiques/secondhand dealer who I heard had bought up the entire album collection. was too nervous to ask for it because the seller looked so mean and grumpy. then I started crying out of nowhere. just thinking about my dead friend and how we'd never get to hang out and listen to music together ever again. because he was gone. he was dead and gone. as was his collection.

the seller eventually took pity on me, I told him my sad tale, he said the collection he got from my friend's parents probably sold like crazy within a day or two, but he'd have a look for me. when we got to the box, it was almost empty as we both had feared. just a few singles I didn't much care about, none of the beloved albums left. I broke down in tears once again, crying my heart out while the seller tentatively gathered me into his arms, holding me through it.

I think I even woke up crying from this dream...

---

on a lighter note: there was another part of the dream (before the death of my metal soulmate part obviously) where I walked around a very well kept town (almost like these nice little holidays for your health type towns in the mountains or by the sea, you know the ones) at night, running through the lush grass of parks and over the smooth cobblestones of the roads, belting out Florence and the Machine songs at the top of my lungs (I remember Dog Days Are Over in particular, starting at "Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father," [...] "leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive") which felt so great and liberating.

also dreamt I was on a boat on a big wide river, looking at the glimmering lights of the city along the shoreline. there were some buildings that looked so majestic, I felt they just had to be some type of fairytale style castle entrance to an amusement park (like legoland or something but more castle neuschwanstein themed)

also a short interlude of me living in a mash up of my hometown and a bigger city, and applying for a retail job at a popular clothing store. the ladies I interviewed with were real nice and I was actually looking forward to starting my work there (but then the dream shifted of course, as my dreams tend to do)

---

anyway, still rattled from the loss of my dreamt up metal soulmate who I haven't dreamt about in literal years. he's not real but I have the primal need to get him into my arms, hold him tight, and never ever ever ever let him go... tell him I love him dearly (platonically ofc) and that I'd always look out for him, take care of him, till my last breath. because I love him and our friendship and soulmate bond so so so much

[halalhyungwon]

obsessed with the bloody heart ost tbh

[ichigomis]

hiii :D so I was wondering if you could do osamu, suna, Kita, akaashi if their s/o was an kpop fan (: like how would their reaction be etc just head cannons of it

HIAKYUU BOYS WHEN YOU'RE A KPOP FAN

with: osamu, suna, kita, akaashi

notes: aaaaAAAAAA ohmygod this really brought me back to my kpop days when i'd cry over pcs aka a card with a face printed on it :') this was really fun nonnie thanks for the request!

❊ OSAMU

definitely learned how to make you an inkigayo sandwich when you asked him

and yes you slipped your number in there just for fun

he didn't understand why smh

caught you staying up to catch the release of a music video more than once

"why can't you just watch it tomorrow?"

"you don't understand, it won't be the same."

you showed him this picture of wonho and told him he looks exactly like that when he's working at the restaurant

he was so happy about it and started wearing more clothes like that for you and it's so rogebrnuighreiughidsjuigh

still wonders why you have a whole album dedicated solely for your bias and why you don't delete those photos despite you having no memory on your phone,,

once heard you screaming because your bias changed their hair color and he doesn't get what's the big deal rognriuhgure

you've definitely asked him to try a more daring hair color like maybe pink or bright blue

he will never go down that road again

will actually dance with you to some songs and you'd teach him the choreo and he'd try his best and it's juST SO CUTE 🥺

❊ SUNA

accidentally (not) stumbled upon your fan account and followed you under an alias just for fun riuegneurhguer

and yes, he's seen your thirst posts he gets it

and yes, he's also seen that fic you've been reading smhh

lowkey actually listens to kpop and explored korean music after you introduced him to it!

OKAY HEAR ME OUT BUT HE LISTENS TO DEAN, DPR LIVE, AND RAD MUSEUM I JUST SEE IT

once used your lightstick as a back scratcher just to spite you LMAO

saw you watch the same MV for days on end and he's just so done

he lets you use his phone for streams 💪

LAUGHS at you when you start singing in korean because he knows you're most probably not singing it right

actually sings with you when the english lyrics come on

IS SO ANNOYED THAT YOU SOMETIMES ANSWER THE PHONE WITH "YEOBOSEYO" 💀💀

goes with you to buy merch when there's a pop-up store and everyone just stares at him because he always dresses like an idol in the airport 😭😭😭😭😭 he's so hot

❊ KITA

does not understand the logic behind photocards and is genuinely concerned by how much you spend on them 💀

heard you practicing your fanchants once and he thought you were rapping HAHAHAHAAHA

knows who your bias is and also knows their birthday, blood type, favorite food, and position. he doesn't know what the info is for but he just knows

watched a stage performance with you once and was so confused when you'd watch it again and again

"why are we watching it again?"

"i didn't see the others last time! i need to focus on each one ㅠㅠ"

you brought him to one of your fav's concerts once and he has seen this whole other side of you frhuigrehger

he finally gets what fanchants are for

"ah so that's what you were rapping before" 💀💀💀

sometimes glares at that pillow/poster/picture of your bias when you're not looking hhhhhh

nothing serious he's just like "why tf is that there"

actually got into korean skincare when you introduced him and now he uses that aloe vera gel and face masks you got hm

listens to your favorite kpop songs on the daily so he can sing them with you 🥺

❊ AKAASHI

cannot tell your favs apart but knows all their names like ???

"oh yeah, i saw a poster of mark earlier."

"which mark..." 💀

is actually really fascinated you learned hangul just for fun like honey that's a whole language

HE PROOFREADS YOUR FICS UR NOT EVEN SHY ABOUT IT ANYMORE

"i don't think it's possible to pin someone so hard on a door..."

"what? but it's hot,,"

got a bit pouty when he saw that you had a pc on your phone instead of a picture of him PUT HIS PICTURE INSTEAD THERE THIS BABY WILL BE SAD

once bought you the latest album of your fav and you love him for that like he actually took the time to research and it look for it 🥺

LOVES WATCHING KDRAMA WITH YOU

he said he was there for the plot

mhm okay plot you two have been binging park seo joon i don't think he's just there for the plot rgnrognrjgner

YOU MOST DEF TAUGHT HIM HOW TO DO AEGYO AND HE'S SO GOOD AT IT LIKE RIOGNROEIGNO

but he'd never do it in front of anyone else rgenrgnrgerjg

» m. list

[theflyingfeeling]

So I don't know what you've already heard of the Lahti concert from other sources but here's my report anyway 🖤

The first thing I need to tell you is that in front of me there was this sweet sweet girl who needed a hair tie so I borrowed her mine because I wasn't using it and as a thank you she filmed me so many, long videos and she had an EXCELLENT view to the stage!!! 😭

I mean, I did too, holy shit they were close, my breath was taken away when Porko suddenly appeared what felt like mere metres away from me 😵

I could see all their expressions and omg 🥺 they were all so happy to be playing a show again 🥺🥺 I especially loved the look on Niko's face and in general I was happy to see him a little better, I feel like I didn't see much of him at the Tampere gig

Joel did lots of interaction with Joonas as per usual and 🥺🥺🥺🥺 sometimes he went up to stand next to Aleksi and just 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 smile and look at him 😭😭😭😭

OLLI SANG!!! ........except that he didn't 🤡 They/we hyped it up and everyone was like omg he's gonna sing HE'S GONNA SING--- and then he fucking lipsynced to the opening of a Bon Jovi song 🤠 I swear to fucking god. This man is such a troll and I hate him 💞

Also, getting fucking rickrolled at a BC concert is NOT what I thought I'd ever experience, and yet 🤠 thx Porko <3

Aleksi had a little DJ solo of his own and everyone was happy 🥰 He also jumped around the stage during Sharks Love Blood 💓

Speaking of which, The Kiss was 💀!! It happened right in front of my salad and I died, I'm actually writing this from the grave

The setlist??!?! They played SO MANY SONGS I DID NOT EXPECT THEM TO, such as Giants and Enemy For Me 😵 Giants especially was a special moment to me personally, will post a video tomorrow 💗

And they STARTED with Balboa of all the songs, blasting my brain right to the back wall 👌

Niko/Joonas flirting, but what else is new (Niko @ the crowd: "I've been looking at you all evening." Joonas @ Niko: "I've been looking at you too 😏" Niko: "who's surprised, hands up" lmaooo these guys 🥰)

Tommi didn't say a single fucking word the whole gig lol go on give us nothing, #onsealfa

Probably forgot something, will add later

I've had a shit past two months due to work stuff, but this kind of made up for it all. I love this band so much and oh god I'm gonna cry

Anyone with whom I talked about the gig beforehand knows how nervous I was (thanks for all the nice words btw <3) but, as per usual, everything went perfectly fine, I had possibly the best night of my life so far, and I'm so so happy that I went. I wish it would never have ended.

Some time ago someone sent me an ask asking what's the best concert I've been to. Back then I answered Antti Tuisku @ 2017 SuomiPopFestarit and BC @ Tampere back in August. They have now been replaced, and only another BC gig will ever compare. They are amazing live, and if you are given the chance to go to their concert, TAKE IT AND RUN 🖤

But let me tell ya, one of my absolute favourite moments happened AFTER the gig at the merch stall 🙈 This is the interaction I had with Miki, roughly translated:

Miki: *struggles to find the size tag of the WANS hoodie I'm buying*

me: it's an S

Miki: S, got it. *tells me the sum of my purchases*

me: *hands him my credit card*

Miki: *takes the card and inserts it in the payment terminal* it's a busy night!

me: yeah, but it's good you got your hands full am I right

Miki: yes, it's a positive problem! *tells me how to navigate on the payment terminal*

me: *barely manages to choose debit instead of credit and then just stares at the machine when it asks for my pin code because 1) the machine looks completely different to those in grocery stores for example, and 2) I had not expected to get to do small talk with Miki lol)

Miki: ..did you blackout?

me: YES, the numbers are in different order, you know, from the ones they have in grocery stores?!

Miki: *takes out that exact kinda payment terminal I'm talking about* no, they're in the same order

me: *upon seeing the more familiar-looking machine, remembers her pin code, THANK HEAVENS, and the payment is accepted* Y E S

In conclusion, you are all invited to our summer wedding 🥰🤣

[songonthewind]

Was talking with my pal Blue about some music that's been impactful for us in various ways and I talked about "Puff the Magic Dragon" by Peter Paul and Mary (and more specifically the version they played at their 2tth anniversary concert in 1986) and how for my entire childhood and most of my teenage years, I couldn't hear that song without bursting into tears. Just couldn't do it. I'd get like a verse in and just lose it completely, every single time, until I was like 17 and just listened to it over and over and over again until it just didn't make me cry any more.

And nobody know that. I could not tell you a single soul that knew that about me, until Blue tonight and now anyone reading this, but that was a formative experience for me! Loving a song so much but also having to excuse myself to the bathroom every time I heard it because I didn't wanna cry in front of people but I just could not hold back the sobbing. But most of my friends don't know that. My mom knows part of it, the rest of my family doesn't know that.

And I forget most of the time! The only reason I remembered was cuz Blue told me about the recording of "No Children" by The Mountain Goats where the audience sings instead of the band, which reminded me of the 25th Anniversary performance where Peter, Paul and Mary do the same thing. But I probably hadn't thought of that performance in at least a year!

And just something something what formative pieces of ourselves are unknown to the most important people in our lives something something what formative pieces of ourself do we forget when bot actively thinking of them something something how do we share the most important parts of ourselves with others when we ourselves forget about those parts most of the time something something

Tldr: thinking about formative experiences that you arent trying to hide but just dont come up often and how something that makes us who we are is not known to the most important people in our lives

[ladyorlandodream]

Agentha Fältskog interview - English translation

In September, Agnetha Fältskog of ABBA agreed to grant Swedish radio presenter Carolina Norén an interview for the classic Swedish chart show ”Svensktoppen” on Swedish Public Service radio. The interview was broadcast September 19.

Carolina Norén: ”Don't Shut Me Down” by ABBA – and with me on the phone I have Agnetha Fältskog. Hello, Agnetha!

Agnetha Fältskog: Hello, Carolina!

C: And, of course, congratulations to entering the top of the chart, Agnetha!

A: Wow, what a surprise! That was amazing, really fun.

C: Let's just say that I wasn't that surprised, and neither was the rest of the world. However, ABBA.s last number one here on Svensktoppen was actually ”Waterloo”, back in 1974!

A: Was it that long ago? Well, there you go. It was about time, then.

C: It was about time! Exactly.

A: I'd like to take the opportunity to tell you how happy, grateful and moved everyone in the group is by the enormous reception. It feels very nice and warm inside.

C: I'm thinking, the first time you received a call like this from ”Svensktoppen”, and I don't know if you remember this, Ulf Elfving was calling. It was in 1968, you were 17 years old and ”Jag var så kär” (I Was So in Love), had reached number three.

A: Yeah, it's been quite a few years, ha ha.

C: What has Svensktoppen meant to you over the years?

A: It means a great deal. We're so used to charts, and have enormous success in several countries, but ”Svensktoppen” – it's our native country and the audience we have back here, and it obviously means a lot. We're very moved by the reception everywhere. I remember that first interview with Ulf, I was very nervous, and almost couldn't believe that I'd entered Svensktoppen, it's something you don't forget. This was also an enormous surprise, because you can never really know how it will turn out. One is never sure that something is going to be successful, and one is glad when it happens.

C: I was actually thinking about that a bit: I know that you love spending time in the studio working, and so on, but was there any point while working on this new material where you started to feel doubt or fear: what if it doesn't work?

A: Yes, we said that in the beginning: a long time had passed since we recorded, and you can never be sure that the voice is going to hold up – was it going to sound old? However, we heard pretty immediately – from both Frida's voice and mine – that it sounded more or less as it did back then. However, you may have to make another kind of effort, and give more, or how to put it, of your ability to tell a story, to empathise with the song. I always used to do that, but it's a lot more now that one has lived an entire life. You put more emotion into it.

C: I was thinking, whose idea was it to do this – who was the driving force behind the comeback?.I mean out of you? From the fans' point of view, it's always been a given.

A: Yes ... Well, one thing lead to another, somehow. We felt that we wanted to do a few new songs for the avatar project that will open in May next year, in London. So we said ”let's do a few songs and see how they turn out, how it sounds. One thing led to another with a few more songs, and then Benny kind of said ”why not make an entire album?”. Yes, and that's how it happened, and since we enjoy working in the studio, it's fantastically fun to be able to create and such.

C: Yes, and you have said that it's sometimes easy to ”tempt” you into doing things if they sound like fun.

A: Yes, that's true.

C: So you weren't hard to convince, when it came to doing this?

A: No, I don't think any of us were. Not doing this. The avatar project, I had to give it a think, since it meant a lot of work, as it were, on stage. Because I'm not a stage personality in that respect, but I can convey more feelings in the songs.

CN: Indeed. The rumours around this comeback started back in 2018. We got to know the song titles, and it feels like these two songs that we have heard, have been underway for a while. Have you polished the songs over the years? What has happened since we first heard of them in 2018?

A: Well, we have been at it. At first we worked on the avatars throughout February...let's see, was it the year before last? No, it was last year. We had just finished working with that, when the Corona situation appeared. Then, after a while, we started recording these songs and it's continued like that.

C: When the songs were released a little over two weeks ago, fans gathered around the world simultaneously. Björn and Benny participated in the live stream and you and Frida were part of the edited program. Björn and Benny said that you were following the broadcast from a distance. How did it feel watching it?

A: It was actually enormous. I've been watching our fans a little, when they're listening to the songs, and they're actually crying. It's quite enormous what a reach it had all around across countries. It's almost hard to take it in, actually.

C: I was present at Gröna Lund (in Stockholm), where fans had been invited, and there were many fans from other countries. I can really attest that emotions were enormously strong. It was, you know, almost sacred. Just like you said, they cried and were deeply moved. One thing many of them said, at least the ones I talked to, was that they missed you – ”the girls”, they said: Agnetha and Annifrid.

A: Yes.

C: Do you know when you will get together next time?

A: I don't really dare to say. We're a bit older now, and have our minor ailments, ha ha. But we struggle on. But I don't dare to say, because it's a bit uncertain. At the moment we feel happy that we got this together, and let's hope everything goes well in London, at the premiere over there.

C: Right, in May next year. The avatars. Incredibly cool, actually.

A: Right.

C: You touched upon the thing about the voice, whether it would hold up. When you released your solo album in 2013, you mentioned in an interview that you'd had the same worry, and had taken singing lessons – which turned out to be one lesson. How was it this time, Agnetha? Did it end up being any singing lessons?

A: Haha. No, it didn't. One knows this, that it has to do with support from the stomach, that you shouldn't ruin...so it doesn't become too much for the throat. Instead, you find support in the belly, and it just fits so well, once you're in the studio. You just, ”wow, it holds up!”. One has different … I like to sit down when I sing. Frida usually stands up. It varies a lot, how you feel that you get the power.

C: You are the one doing the main vocals – at least most of them – on the single ”Don't Shut Me Down”. I should add that ”I Still Have Faith in You” is also in the chart, at number four.

A: Yes, how fun!

C: How does it work when you divide it between the two of you? Do you choose your favourites, or is it directed by the respecive voice registers? Do tell.

A: Yes. It's probably the guys who are in charge of that. We get some lyrics, get to listen a bit, and try a little. It's also happened that one has felt ”this one I'd like to do”. There are no fights about anything. We try it out, but it's usually the guys, I think, who already know who is supposed to sing what. We're also part of each others'... Even if one of us sings the solo verses, we're always join together for the choruses, for the most part.

A: You have also a background as a songwriter, and ran your solo career in the beginning. These days, Björn and Benny usually end up talking about the project. How much are you able to go in a change things, or feel ”that doesn't work, let's try this”.

A: Back in the day it happen pretty regularly, but these days it doesn't. I can come up with a lot of ideas: ”could we add some finesse at this point in the song?” I'm also pretty good at harmonies, but the guys handle most of it. We do as they say, and it turns out well.

C: Another thing when one talks about ABBA and ABBA's music, your songs have been quite associated with you as people over the years. The most obvious example may be ”The Winner Takes it All”, which is about divorce. How about today – what do the songs say about you as people, and artists today?

A: It's probably mostly in the lyrics, and you should probably let Björn answer. One can read one thing or another into composers', songwriters' or lyricists' work, and of course you add a bit of ”it's about him, or me”. But it's general, how to say, relationships. Because it's often about love.

C: The two most recent songs, maybe a little more general. Now that we are talking about love, I've go to ask you: you have said that you're are a romantic person, Agnetha.

A: Yes, I am.

C: And you like romantic music.Will there be more romance on the album? More love?

A: Haha! Well, it's very varied. I can't say much about it now, but it's very varied. I can tell you this much: if you like these two songs, you will probably like the entire album. I do think so.

C: Right. That's good. I feel I need to scratch the surface a little more. What we have heard is a timeless ABBA sound. Can one imagine that it will continue with that sound as well?

A: What do you mean, on the CD?

C: Yes, on the album.

A: Ah, yes. It's very much the ABBA sound. We're not trying to sound different or letting ourselves be affected by other, current things, so to speak. We're trying to keep ... It becomes what it becomes – and it becomes very ABBA when Frida and I get together in the studio. It's almost like a marriage between our voices, and almost hard to tell them apart at times.

C: Now, I know that a lot of people are looking forward to the concert in London in May next year. First, there's the album, in November. The one we were talking about. We mentioned the avatars. What went through your head the first time you heard of the idea?

A: Haha. Well, yes, none of us probably really knew what to expect, but we've worked with it a lot, so you grew into it, eventually. We stand there, doing these songs, with– I don't know how many cameras and people. And then, somehow, it was technologically transferred, in some way that we don't even understand, to other people that are going to be on stage as us – but it's still us, haha! I can't really explain it, it's so hard, but there's a lot of technology and lights involved. But it felt great to do in the end. Because it was so different. Also, there was a vibe, one felt that ”maybe it's the last thing we do”. Same thing with this album.

C: Ooh, you can't say that, ha ha! We want more!

A: You can cut that out.

C: Jonas and I will cut that out! Solo album in 2013. I can reveal to you, here and now, that in the summer of 213, ”Dance Your Pain Away” was the only thing I listened to.

A: I see! That's nice.

C: I know it inside out, but I won't sing it!

A: Yeah, that was cool, actually.

C: Is there anything in the pipeline solo – another solo album from you, Agnetha?

A: Not at the moment, no. I think, and I feel, that I've done a lot now. So I can't promise you that. We have got to find joy in what we have, and all that awaits.

CN: Indeed. May I also add that I was very happy when I heard that you would be with us and share. Because I've learned that you are somewhat restrictive when it comes to doing interviews. What do you think, are there further public appearance from you ahead?

A: Not really. But, as you say, I've never really retired that way, but I am restrictive, and I feel that a lot of things are being written, and have been written, about us. We agreed to do, and have done, so many interviews. There's a risk that you ruin it by talking too much. You want keep a little something to yourself. Something private.

C: Agnetha, we respect that, and we are very happy here at Svensktoppen, and, I would imagine, that the listeners who haven't perhaps fainted from the surprise, and have stayed with us, are happy that you could join us. Once again, huge, huge congratulations to topping the chart.

A: Thank you. I also want to send greetings from the rest of the group. I know that they are all very happy about this. It means a lot to us.

C: Wonderful. I hope we can talk again. I almost get shivers suddenly doing the presentation here. So I say: new number one: ABBA and ”Don't Shut Me Down”. Thank you very much, Agnetha.

A: Thanks so much to you, too!

English translation by Anders Lundquist

[acommonloon]

D is at Brasserie De Silly, eating steak with peppercorn sauce while I'm left here alone eating her birthday steak...just the way I like it. Seasoned with garlic, butter, salt, and a smoked pepper blend that'll make your sinus cavities take note, medium rare melt in your mouth.

I learned to eat/grill steak while living in Texas from the tender age of 19 to 25. To that point, I only remember eating steak (sirloin) on rare occasions at the Ponderosa Steak House. I have two clear recollections of the Ponderosa in Clarksville, IN. The first was when my mom made the server take my steak back because she felt it was under-cooked over my outraged protest. My other memory almost makes me cry.

My cousin Stephanie and I were the same age and we went to the same high school. She was beautiful, stylish, and such a sweet person but country mouse naive. She was always nice to me so when she and another girlfriend, I'd known since 5th grade, asked if I would take them to their first rock concert (Styx) in Louisville, I was willing. Their mom was cousins with my mom and she trusted me.

I really didn't know Stephanie well but Rebel E. was a wild child and she crushed on me hard before we were old enough to date. I'd kind of lost track of her by high school, what with all the other girls with boobs and knowing smiles. She had long blonde hair but alas was flat as a board and I was just a stupid boy. Anyway...we stopped at Ponderosa before the concert. I'm guessing we were sixteen and it may have been my first meal at a sit down restaurant with others only my age. I'd order my steak whatever temp I damn well wanted!

I remember Steph ordered the fillet. I remember the confused look on her face when she didn't get fish. OMG, I don't remember if we were cruel but probably a little. I believe she had a good time though I remember only bits and pieces about that night.

When D and I moved back home, we often (too often) spent evenings at The Fireside bar. One night I heard someone shriek my name. It was Steph. I'm not sure I'd seen her since high school. She looked exactly the same. She and her husband sat at our table with other friends that night and GD if she didn't mention the night she and I went to that Styx concert. We promised we would hang out together and we did trade a few texts but Steph was a breast cancer survivor and shortly after that night she found out her cancer was back.

Of course as we were family so my mom gave me updates but things didn't seem to be going well for her. Some months later, D and I were standing at baggage claim in Louisville. I don't remember the trip but I was exhausted. I heard my name shouted and a woman raced up to me. I was confused because I didn't recognize her. It was Steph and I still remember the confusion I felt and then shame because I didn't know her and she knew I didn't. Cancer had wrecked her.

She died a few months later.

When I look out on a glorious day like today with the sun shining I think of all the people living this day and making memories, what a gift. I barely knew Steph and the memory of her is a gift. She will live on as long as anyone remembers.

I believe that's all any of us have and at my age, it's enough. I put some effort into living in a memorable way.

Hope you make a memory today.

[passingthetime]

Tagged by @psihokracija, thank you!! 🌻

What is the first song you remember hearing?

The Ketchup Song.... but I know for fact that the first music I ever heard in my life was the Twin Peaks soundtrack so that makes up for it.

What is the first band you got into?

Emil.RuleZ! which probably doesn't mean much to anybody on here especially non-Hungarians. I loved the songs as a kid because the lyrics sounded good, but I could not piece together the sentences because of weird line breaks. After growing older and understanding the lyrics, I still think they are really cool, but music-wise I don't like them very much anymore.

Do you collect any physical music?

Nah... I would love to but wow it is expensive! That said, I did uh, borrow some CDs from my parents and I desperately want to get my hands on the Deep Purple self titled vinyl with The Purgatory on the cover.

What is your favourite piece of music memorabilia?

I have a Radio Moscow t-shirt from their 2019 world tour! It's super awesome and I bought it from the band's bassist himself I think. Lazy to take a photo of it, but looks something like the image below except it has way nicer colours and has "world tour 2019" written on it too.

What’s your favourite concert you’ve ever been to?

King Gizzard at Sziget 2018!! That concert was amazing! Honestly had I not seen them live at that time I would not have gotten into their music.

If you could see one artist who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

The Doors, which is technically two artists no longer alive... Anyways I am sad and angry I never got to see a Doors concert because it sounds like a very unique experience

Have you meet any musicians?

Not so famous ones sure. I mean my boyfriend is a musician, so so were a bunch of his friends. We even camped out in the backstage of a small biker festival because we were with one of the bands. We met Rudán Joe there and told him he did a good concert lol. Like he needed or feedback on that.

What is your to go album when you’re feeling sad?

Point of Entry by Judas Priest because it makes me feel better.

What is your to go album when you’re feeling happy?

Help! by The Beatles, it's just cute and simple and happy me likes that.

What is one music documentary you love?

Janis: Little Girl Blue made me cry.

What is one DVD concert you love?

I am sorry, I haven't watched a single one. I get overly emotional over live albums already I don't need visuals on top... Favourite live album is either Unleashed in the East by Judas Priest or Live! In California by Radio Moscow.

Do you prefer listening to playlists or albums?

In theory I love playlists, in practice my playlists I actually listen to are just a collection of albums one after another with unnecessary content removed (such as bonus tracks or just songs I'd skip anyways).

Do you prefer listening to albums in order or on shuffle?

In order, always. Can shuffle a playlist, but can't do that with albums.

What is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?

According to Spotify Cheater by Judas Priest gets barely any listens which is ???? why would you not listen to one of their best songs ever? As for my other favourite band, it is of course Before the Kiss, a Redcap by BÖC if that counts.

What is your favorite cd/cassete/vinyl you own in terms of packing?

Technically it is not me who owns either but the album cover (both inside and out) of Vadászat by Hobo Blues Band is very awesome and the 25th anniversary CD box edition of Dark Side of the Moon is really fucking cool with the art cards and everything too!

I tag @hackettsongs, @jiangwanyin, @barbarella and @0mmadawn! 🌼