#like if you're actively promoting something and saying it'll make people look like you even tho you got it through plastic surgery

[ishikawayukis]

while on one hand it should be safe to assume that most idols have gotten some kind of plastic surgery done, on the other hand those before and after videos are sick and straight up comparing pictures of them as teenagers and then as almost 30 year olds

[tuckersdeslauriers]

Hi! Just curious... I was reading one of your previous answers and you said you feel they're building toward a breaking point with chenford this season. I hadn't seen it that way and I'm just wondering if you can share more about what you think is leading towards this and what kind of breaking point you're expecting? Thanks!

sure thing! just noting this is like...purely conjecture, but ultimately what i would like to see coming up. i also think a lot of people don't want to see this and i respect that, so as a blanket statement since i am posting this publicly: all i ask in sharing this is that you please reciprocate that respect.

so, i think it's incredibly telling that chenford has yet to really talk about their feelings. if you look at 5x08, 5x09, 5x10 – everything is actionable, leading towards something (their first date, then their first time, etc) rather than them tackling how they feel for one another. right now, they're in this blissful happy little space where they're each other's most important person who they can now freely be with. they don't have to shrink back, pretend they don't want to touch, push feelings off – but they still haven't said much, which matters. if they were just going to be settled and together, we'd have seen a bigger moment of confession, a somewhat more dramatic arc of getting together, etc. it's been fairly easy up until now, and i think that's incredibly telling – because it shouldn't be, and it isn't actually easy.

the other shoe is going to drop, and i personally think that'll come in the form of a breakup. i know some hate the idea of this, but i honestly think it'll serve to see them pining for one another now that they know how incredible it feels to be together. whether it be some greater force (work, the powers that be at the LAPD, etc) that keep them from continuing their relationship, a miscommunication (tim went over lucy's head to take the desk job, lucy's now gone over tim's head to get him into metro – and in lucy's case, she's now actively deceiving tim about it, lying to his face when she says "i don't know how you keep that all straight" after orchestrating the whole thing), or a mixture of things (metro's hard on tim, they're missing each other because of shifts, and then it comes out lucy's been lying to him this whole time)...something's going to drive a wedge between these two.

a lot of people saw lucy orchestrating tim's move to metro as a thing tim would be okay with – and i don't think he wouldn't be okay with the move, but the way lucy went about it and the way she kept him in the dark...even after he got the promotion? i don't think tim's going to be cool with that. i could be wrong, but the idea that she's lied to him and actively kept it from him, even when all their colleagues/friends know doesn't seem like it'll sit well when it inevitably comes out.

ultimately, as a viewer i will be more satisfied with their story if it's difficult – and up until now, i don't feel it has been. sure: we have waited for them – but i don't think chenford understood there was even the potential for something until 4x21/4x22 (feelings are a different thing, but literal potential i don't think happened until the fake proposal/first kiss). like, i'm loving the content we're getting but there's no way (imo) that there isn't trouble afoot for them. it wouldn't make sense to me to just let them be – especially with the way problems have cropped up left and right for them from the second they even considered being together. every time something gets resolved, two new issues pop up – so i won't be surprised to see it all come to a head and blow up in their faces for a while.

plus, i would love to see a version of chenford who knows how deeply they feel for one another try to walk it back even a little and be like...we're still friends. we can still be friends! totally! when they know they cannot – when they know they are still (and will always be) each other's most important person. melissa and eric would be bonkers in an exes we-almost-had-it-all-and-i-never-got-to-tell-you-i-love-you arc...and i for one would like to see that happen.

[killingmyself-s-l-o-w-l-y]

Maybe I'll just write all the things I wish I could tell her here. Since I'll probably never be able to.

Why am I privileged if you can get anything you want? You own so much clothes and shoes that you literally scam to get. You literally commit a crime to get free shoes. It's called fraud.

Do you look at all white people and think in your head that they're privileged? Just cuz their skin color. When did you start thinking that? Why do you think that? Does that apply to homeless white people? People who were more abused than you? Do you look at poc and categorize them into levels of oppressed and privileged? You're pretty light yourself. Does that mean you're not as oppressed as someone darker than you? Or does being mixed make you more oppressed?

No your son will never be looked at as mixed. Hate to break it to you. But your son looks 100% Asian. He'll only face Asian hate if that's what you believe. Racism isn't alive and well the way you think it is. Of course there are individual cases of discrimination.

Why is me not wanting to watch the news racist? Just cuz the things that are on the news are "poc issues", well that's what you think. That's not what I meant and you know it. I hate the news cuz it's depressing. Always have. I literally don't care what's on it. It's always negative. I'm not gonna subject myself to something that'll make me sad, anxious, angry. Unlike you, I actually enjoy happiness.

I'm privileged cuz I can avoid the news. Well, so can you. You're American. You can just as easily turn off your phone and go outside. And to say "you're 26 years old" like it'll mean anything. You are too. We are literally the same age. You're not somehow more mature than me cuz I have a different life than you. Cuz I have hobbies you deem childish. Cuz I enjoy life like a child cuz I like to believe the world maybe isn't all bad. Or cuz I present myself as more free-spirited. I really don't know what my age had to do with anything. I'm not gonna look up triggering media just to make you happy cuz you're an activist that demands everyone "educate themselves". I. Don't. Care. About. World. Events. If it's not affecting me in my household. If it's not affecting my income, my happiness, my home, I don't see why I should fill my brain with complete despair. And the fact that I came across a video of a 4 month old dying cuz you wanted me to "educate" myself, while my daughter was 4 month old and it had me sobbing. You sat there and TOLD ME THAT WAS GOOD?! You told me that triggering myself was a good thing, are you fucking kidding me?! And then you turn around later on and contact my MOTHER IN LAW to tell her you think I'm unstable and that I should be thrown into a psych ward. Wow. Just wow.

If you think I'm so unstable why would you actively promote that I put myself in a situation that would make me more unstable. Make it make sense.

Oh and BTW I TOLD you that I would be triggered and you still PUSHED. You pushed to the point that I relapsed on self harm after being clean for a little over a year. And then you again, turn around and tell me *I* fucked up. Are you fucking shitting me right now?! Like it's somehow my fault that YOU VIOLATED MY BOUNDARIES. JESUS.

that's what abusers do.

God, I can't believe I never noticed how abusive you are. You're so toxic. Like, I get it you're going through some shit but WOW. Literally inexcusable.

But let me continue. You owe not only me but my fiance, his friend, my mom, even my mother in law, money. You took SO MUCH. Thousands of fucking dollars. And you turn around and say no one ever does anything for you. Unbelievable. Fucking ungrateful. We helped you get out of debt, which you fell back into. We helped you get a car, which you hated. We helped you live at my house cuz your abusive mother kicked you out. While you were pregnant! Everytime I went out with you I paid for the fucking food. Same with my fiance. Cuz we wanted you to save your money. Cuz you always complain you have negative in the bank. But you refuse to get a job. Cuz you "hate healthcare" well no one if forcing you to work healthcare. There's plenty of other jobs that need to be worked. But you refuse. And you do "influencing" instead. Yeah, just cuz you get a few sponsors doesn't mean you'll make bank. Get another job and actually pay the people you owe back ffs.

You're lazy. And fat but we'll get into that.

You complain constantly about your weight and the comments you get about it. Well, stop binging. Stop emotionally eating. And if that means going to intensive therapy to work it out so be it. Oh BTW, see a fucking therapist you can afford. Or see 2. One that you like and one that your insurance covers. Ffs. Get some fucking help. You have so many issues and you're so miserable. Maybe you need medication. Get some fucking sleep. Drink water. Stop drinking so much coffee. Stop buying coffee also. You're wasting money. You have fancy expresso machines and shit. USE. IT.

God you live life so lavishly and you think IM PRIVILEGED?! Who gets to live at a literal home rent free? Not me! Yet you complain about all this useless worthless pathetic crap all the time but do nothing to change your circumstances. You whine that your partner is abusive but whenever I offered refuge it wasn't good enough. You complain that you don't want his mom to raise your child but you scroll on your phone instead of participating in raising him. You whine that you're fat but still eat junk and never exercise. You whine that you're tired but you never sleep. Get your life together.

It's crazy that you think I'm immature for keeping my distance after my best friend of more than half my life called me racist for not wanting to talk about politics. For not wanting to watch the news. Cuz it made me... uncomfortable. Cuz ya know, silence is violence. Even tho I didn't feel comfortable talking about an issue that I knew NOTHING about. Cuz I'm privileged for tuning out. For just trying to live my life. Yet you took every single thing I texted you as some sort of petty passive aggressive comment. I literally just wished you a happy Thanksgiving. There was no hidden jab to get at you. Didn't realize your criminal mother was finally facing the consequences of her actions. Oh and it's not ghosting cuz you didn't reach out either hunny.

You are so goddamn miserable you can't even realize that maybe the whole world isn't out to get you. Maybe I have my own life. With my own child. And a healthy relationship that you're clearly jealous of. There's so much I shouldve said when we were on that last phone call but you wouldn't let me talk. You SCREAMED at me. At the top of your lungs. And you laughed in a condescending way. You look down on me. You think I'm less than you. I can't believe that. Just, wow.

Not to mention you called me a few different names. Did I ever once call you a name? No. No I didn't. But I did call you what you are. A jew hating, white hating person. A liberal, leftist, sjw, activist.

The fact that the world doesn't know how fucked you've become is appalling. Of course the internet doesn't know how you really are irl. Or what you've become. You used to be nice. Compassionate, kind, understanding. But what happened? Did you sell your sold to the devil? Maybe it was college. A place where they brainwash weak minded people. You don't even realize how hypocritical you've become. It's sad really.

Oh and I forgot to mention how you belittled my eating disorder. How could I forget. Cuz you're so insecure about your weight being a fat person of course when my anorexic mouth spouts shit like "I'm fat" you took that personally. Like "if you're fat than what am I?" Bro. Are you serious right now?! My eating disorder has literally nothing to do with anyone else but myself. I don't care if others are fat. That's their prerogative. But me? I fucking hate how I look. It's called body dysmorphia, maybe you should look it up sometime.

Way to take something not even related to you and twist it to be about yourself. What's that called? Narcissistic? Bffr.

[spinkt]

Some wrestling thoughts, and I know I know I know just...pretend I have better interests or something. This just needs out of my head.

So one of the wrestlers in one of the major promotions is apparently going to climb Everest. By that I mean, I suppose, that he intends to, I guess? And while I do not pay too much attention, context clues would indicate he's supposed to make his attempt in a week or two, but he's...still on tv, taking huge stupid bumps?

And like, I have enough thoughts on this to be annoying because I don't even like him. I initially thought he was interesting but then I learned more about him and he seems like a shitty person, but in ways where I can mostly just be like "I guess it's this guy again" instead of someone like Jericho, who I actively hate. But like this guy (I do not know why I'm not naming him, his name is Darby) seems like someone who would be all "oh yeah I'm gonna climb Everest to show I've conquered the mountain" and all that shit, while not...actually taking it seriously? Like he seems like a dude who thinks he's got an active job and can handle pain so he can just do this thing.

Setting aside that I kind of feel like climbing Everest at all makes you a shitty person and there's no real way to do it ethically, I just...like, what is this guy expecting? Shouldn't he be there right now, acclimating to the baseline temp/elevation? Shouldn't he Not be going there with bruises and a back that's still cut up from major lacerations sustained when he jumped off a ladder into a real sheet of plate glass?

I imagine him to be the kind of Everest hiker who either gets to base camp and has to call it there but still says he climbed the mountain on the technicality, the kind who gets told to turn around because he's being fucking stupid and you can't brute force your way through oxygen deprivation and gets all shitty about it, or the kind who takes selfies with the Everest bodies.

And like seeing comments on here about him doing it is wild, because you can tell most of these people have no idea how actually serious and dangerous that climb is, and how easily you can get absolutely fucked. Like Darby himself has said in his promos that he could die, but it's always taken in a "look how dangerous and cool this thing I'm doing is, I'm so hard and reckless" kinda way, and his fans are like "omg he has to come back it'll be so sad if he doesn't!!!" And I just wanna link them to some YouTube videos so they get some idea of the prep and danger. Like it sounds stupid but you have to respect that mountain and if you go up there with hubris thinking you're better than everyone who "failed" by dying, you're...probably not gonna have a good time.

Anyway I think it is absolutely wild that a successful professional wrestler who is massively popular and active has chosen to possibly die horribly on a mountain that absolutely kills people, all to....prove he can? I guess?? Best case scenario I think is that he get, like, one or two camps up, and then has to come back down. He would be insufferable if he got to the summit, and it would be nice if there weren't another fuckin corpse on that mountain, but if he gets partway up he can always blame outside circumstances for his having to turn around, and everybody can think he was very cool for having gotten as far as he did, and then his garbage isn't adding to the trash pile that is that climbing trail the *whole* way up.

[defdaily]

GQ Korea Magazine June 2021 issue featuring JAY B: in transition

To prove himself, JAY B is constantly changing. Because he has so much to show.

Translated by defdaily

Your greeting from the video earlier was new. You said “This is GOT7’s JAY B and H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B.” After GOT7 parted ways with JYP Entertainment, you told fans that you were a freelancer and I guess you’ve found your spot.

Yes. It has not been announced officially yet but I’m H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B. I told fans I was a freelancer as a joke. I like communicating with fans as if we’re friends. But I was looking for a company at that time too.

How did you make your decision?

Of course I thought about it a lot. I talked with various companies, but when considering the freedom and synergy, I felt like H1GHR MUSIC fit me well. That seemed like the best decision.

What kind of synergy and effect are you looking forward to?

I don’t think “I’m definitely hip-hop!” just because I joined a hip-hop label. I think that through the label I can show R&B, dance and pop genres too. I want to attempt different things without any boundaries.

What did you talk about with H1GHR MUSIC’s CEO Jay Park?

From my point of view, it’s a new challenge so I was a little anxious. But Jay Bum hyung’s thoughts were similar to mine and said I could do music comfortably and didn’t wish for any certain colour, because if you keep focusing on one thing, you’ll slowly be locked in it, and said it’s good to try out different things. That’s what he told me.

Will this period of time divide JAY B of the past and future?

Of course it will. If previously it was a situation where I mainly received benefits from the company, now that I have the autonomy, I feel that I should do things myself and I grew a deeper sense of responsibility in that way. I think there’s a need to be more proactive. And I plan on prudently moving forward one step at a time with an appropriate amount of nervousness. Because this is the process of starting from the beginning, I am very careful about every decision.

What factors influenced your decision the most?

Feeling/intuition. I have a feeling of whether I think I should do something or not.

It feels like you have a pretty good sense of the direction you want to move forward in.

I asked Jay Bum hyung why he recruited me and he said that skills were of course a factor but that I seemed like I would work hard consistently. It’s a given to be working hard on your own things but the most important thing is consistency. I've been doing that for a long time, and I'll continue to do what I've been doing.

Do you have any values that you’ve held on for a long time?

I’ve always thought that it’s important to never forget the things that I’ve done and have been doing. I debuted as GOT7. I cannot just suddenly say “I’m not an idol,” and I do not want to disappoint the fans. I’m very thankful. While promoting as part of GOT7, I never forgot the fact that I started as a b-boy at first and that I’m a person who likes hip-hop.

People’s expectations are high because of GOT7’s achievements. On one hand, there must be people viewing you thinking ‘let's see how well it could go.’

I am mindful of that. But it’s just GOT7 JB that was that big, JAY B as an individual isn’t that great. To be honest, sometimes I think that I’m nothing. If you ask people my age which idols they know, even if many people know about GOT7, they might not know me very well. It’s important to be acknowledged for my music but I feel like I have to get my name out there first. There is someone called GOT7’s JAY B, H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B. I feel like this is just the beginning for me.

It sounds like you are at a point where you feel the need to prove yourself. Do you not worry that fans might not be accepting if you do what you like and want to do?

Rather than being worried, I see it as something that could happen. For example, I could use profanity or harsh expressions if I feel that they’re needed for better musical completion. I can’t help it if some fans who used to like me as an idol hear that and turn their backs. I also don’t want to give up or lose my own standards because of such reactions.

I see you're very determined to make creations of your own. I heard that you're going to release a new song soon. How is it?

The title is Switch It Up. Should I say it’s close to Hip-Hop Dance? It’s a different style from what I have been making consistently under the name Def. You could say it is a little similar to the solo songs I’ve included in GOT7 albums before. I focused on the purpose of informing the public and the music scene that “I think I will do this sort of music in the future." I’m also sending a message to fans saying that I’ll be starting to promote actively again so look forward to it.

I'm curious. Is there any image that came to mind while working on it?

A sexy image. If I use Def. to freely express my personal stories in any genre, I made a distinction that JAY B does cool and sexy music. Regardless, they are both me, but JAY B is more like a fictional character who can show various sides of me.

What do you think are your strengths as an artist?

There is no such thing. I never thought that an artist should be a certain type of way. I think an artist is one who lives the same life as others, but feels differently, and knows how to express that well. As a matter of fact, anyone can do that. Even everyday office workers, when their stress piles and piles and they scribble down their emotions then toss the paper out, I think that can be a way of art too.

I like that. In any form, what do you want to talk about the most now?

That’s what I’m contemplating a lot right now. I think I’ve been pouring out too much. When writing songs, making the melody or arranging the music isn’t that hard but I don’t know what to write about. The same goes for coming up with titles too. No matter how hard I try to come up with an idea, I can’t think of one. I just think, “ I guess it'll just come out gradually.”

Not as JAY B but as Lim Jaebeom, what have you been thinking about or trying to do?

I try to think positively.

Ah not long ago, we saw you posted on your Instagram “Let’s try to think positively.”

I had quite a lot of worries and a negative mindset. A lot of people may live with unnecessary worries but I’m a little worse. I guess it’s my nature. So I try my best to relax my heart/mind and say “it’s good,” “everything will be okay.”

In introspection, what is something that you are most satisfied with?

That’s hard. No matter how hard I think about it, I feel like there's nothing I like about myself at the moment.

Why? Did something change?

No, it’s not that. Even with one thing, one day you could like it and another day you could dislike it. It’s natural to change your mind. So when I speak, I often use the terms “always” and “at the moment.” Anyways, it’s not that I think that my current self is completely bad, but I’m not satisfied to the point where I would go “wow.”

Then, among the various images that you embody, which do you feel is the piece of clothing that fits perfectly?

I think naturally, the clothing of the name Lim Jaebeom is the most natural and comfortable. Because I’ve got a good hold of the side that is most like me, there can exist Def., JAY B of GOT7 and JAY B of H1GHR MUSIC. Oh, I could explain it like this. If Lim Jaebeom is the earth, just as there exists oceans, mountains, and cities within it, there are various sides of myself that are making up my life.

What will happen to GOT7 in the future?

We probably will not be able to promote as actively as before, but the members and I are trying our best to do anything. I often look up and watch videos of when we were promoting and I miss the GOT7 from those days. The overflowing passion and energy as well. Looking back, it was really fun. It's similar to the feeling of reminiscing about school days.

What did you gain personally from the past 7 years promoting as GOT7?

Should I say, I think I’ve gained expertise? People around me say I’ve become much more relaxed now. But I still get nervous. I was nervous even before today’s shoot. But in turn, I’ve gained ways to overcome the nerves. I guess that comes to show that I’ve become experienced

What kind of person does Lim Jaebeom want to be?

I wish I could be endlessly kind and do only good things, but in reality, that’s impossible. As you live you could unintentionally make mistakes and cause disappointment. Nevertheless, I definitely do not want to become a shrewd person, I despise being scheming and fooling people. I don’t want to be that kind of person and neither do I want to be on the receiving end. But it’s still a bit of a mystery if it’s okay to say "I'm going to be this kind of person." Because as I mentioned before, my current feelings and thoughts change frequently just as trends do.

I guess those words right there can change too.

That’s right. That's why I'm cautious about doing interviews. If I talk about something, there will be articles pouring out that say JAY B said this and JAY B said that. Although we’re doing an interview today like this, if I was asked the same question tomorrow, I could have a different response.

How should we wrap up this interview for you to sleep soundly?

This was the story of Lim Jaebeom on May 4th, 2021. I think this will be okay.

Translated by defdaily.