I was randomly thinking about how my name rubs me the wrong way, always has, always will. Like yes, i love how it's unique (met like two people who shared it with me at most but now that the namesake's dead.... well there's more), and I've always gotten complimented on it and how its pronounced and whatever.
But holy hell, could it be any more ragingly feminine.
I also remembered this weird conversation i had with this coworker (straight dude who was like 35 and always flirting with me, tbh i usually play along because it made him Very Helpful). Anyhoo, him and somebody else were talking about 90s music artists.
He was like "Ya know who was a really good singer? Aaliyah." The other coworker just agreed. Then i noticed him giving me this Look as i held this dumbfounded face trying to figure out why the fuck this had to do with me. It took me like a solid thirty seconds to just say "Ohh yeah, she was pretty good." and just walk the fuck away.
Just another small thing that made me internally start screeching about how i hate having this name.
Also how else was i supposed to react to that and the damn Look??
Thinking more and more about possible name changes, but i can't even name things, let alone myself. (Have yall seen my flight rising lair??? Half of the dragons are unnamed rn.)
Like the only other thing I've gone by was Taksony and that's online on a few sites and sometimes here. It's a medieval hungarian name (i should look up that monarch who had the name and make sure he wasn't problematic. He was a monarch so that might be hard) and i doubt the world is ready for me to bring it back. Plus the short form is Taks and that just sounds like tax. So. Yeah. Taxes. And a name from an OC from the ancient dA days. I just stole his name once i got comfy being called that on FR and lioden and whatever.
But yeah. Super feminine name from an old hip hop artist isn't exactly what I'm liking tbh. I've never liked it much and now I'm aware of why i don't so here we are.
I'm an adult who's very likely not cis, and renaming yourself is possible. So yeah. Here we are.
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