#like its so fuckin obvious guys cmon

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday its l& o time

spoilers thoughts opinions and random ramblings under the cut

Okay, I know they’re undercover but OC seems to be shoving Jet & Jamie together and that gives me the ick because the actors are like, 13 years apart or something. And I get we can age up or down, but I always base of the actors ages so im uncomfortable here…. LOL.

Man… these guys are always SO obvious when they’re trailing, or like, staking someone out from a car, also, ive seen this chase scene already so I know what’s up, BUT, also ive gotta say, her little parkouring is literally just flashy, it’s not saving her ANY time than if she was just continuing to run. If she wasn’t showing off, she probably could’ve escaped.

Okay…does this case/jewelry shit have ANYTHING to do with the casino bitches?? Or are we now doing one BIG case/arc in the background for the entire season and smaller cases for each episode or two? Like the showrunners don’t know what they’re doing with OC….

Well that was some lazy explanation to cover stablers mom not being there and Eli’s in COLLEGE? Are we SURE? Is the math correct on that?

Yeah this Italian chick is annoying, I do not trust her, and she’s literally an olivia knockoff (again, no bensler shipping here…) BUT REALLY?? *sigh*

AYANNA!!!! FUCKKKK!!!! Dem HIPS girl!! I am looking *disrespectfully*

Okay…Jet clearly isn’t the same age of Ainsley if jet was married when she was 20 and it’s clearly been a while now. I don’t like that….

Is this…like..trafficked girl UC cop breaking cover to help her, has a kid back home… is this not the EXACT plot line from last season with elliot and that girl from the diner? This is lazy…just lazy…im literally only here for Ayanna and jet

Fuck AYANA is so pretty! (and also clearly divorced because no lesbian is doing their nails like that….)

Okay. I got bored during a commercial break and looked it up. Eli was born in s9 ep Paternity. That aired in 2007. It’s 2022. ELI IS FUCKIN 15 YEARS OLD AND HE LAZY WRITING/NOT CARING ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS MEANS that he’s in college, in a different state, at 15. Not to mention… he was only 3 years old when he moved to Italy, he would’ve gone to Italian schools, he would have an Italian accent. Jfc. Why couldn’t they just say that he went to live with Kathleen??

 Okay…mothership time.

 Lets be honest, I’m not paying attention to this shit until Samantha’s on screen so I doubt I’ll have much to say LOL.

JFC there are SO many extras/guest stars that have been on a l&o show multiple times before. This is getting ridiculous. Can some more actors relocate to nyc pls?

Ugh can we stop bringing up covid please?? I know it’s all “pull from reality” but cmon…

OH MY GOD A PURPLE SUIT SAM?!?! FUCCCCCKKK ME!

Okay….okay…hear me out… if I end up writing power high femme sam x casual/bottom muncy….don’t come for me…..

“met the old fashioned way, drunk as hell in a biker bar in queens” fuck I love kate

Also there was a whole lot of shying away from terms of specific gender in that dating/partner talk…and tonights ep was directed by the person who played the og lesbian in this franchise… THAT’S SUSPICIOUS…

SAM!! NOW THE TURQUOISE!!??? DID SHE RAID RITAS CLOSET THIS WEEK OR SOMETHING?!!?! (I LOVE IT)

Okay…imma need WAY more background info on what sam’s story is… cause I just know there’s some shit that’s gone down, like I want that history…

Okay. SVU here we go!

Is amanda gonna fangirl tonight or is muncy gonna take that spot? Cause we all know molly loves sports and they do like to add/write in things of the personal actors lives…

I stand corrected… its joe… awe.. poor guy’s by himself?? You KNOW one of the girls would’ve gone with him!

What hotel did they film at? I need to know for fic reasons…wait…is this the homeland hotel…?? (s6 when they were in nyc)

Mothership ended with Sam saying she had a date, the perp in svu mentions having a date and you tell me why im expected sam to pop up over here LOL.

Yaaaasss molly coming in with the title card! A kween!  (truly did think we’d have to wait until after amanda was gone but I guess I was wrong about that)

Okay, called muncy being an American football fan, adore that they added that in there.

I LEGITIMATELY CANNOT TELL IF THESE TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FLIRTING OR IF THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE BROTHER/SISTER SASSY VIBES!!?!????

Octavio with the fucking *hand* thing again jesus

LOL fin… I love you… sweet talkin and bringing people food to get ahead in the case LOL

 UGH FUCKING MCGRATH CAN YOU PLEASE GO OFF A CLIFF ALREADY?!?

Muncy simply cannot be straight when she’s sitting on desks like that…. That IS A QUEER

GRACE FINALLY GOT HER CHEETOS!! YAY!

“the vending machine was out of kale” LOL also lol to joe being all health conscious…

THE BRIGHT TEAL HENLEY!! PLEASE!! JOE!! I AM WEAK

Omg grace fake fangirling, I love it

Where the fuck is carisi??

Dude…. You KNOW the cops are there..why the fuck are you now pulling a gun??

Okay so I will admit, I wasn’t paying too much attention to the case at hand, or the perp, like im literally just here to thirst over people at this point but that wasn’t a bad episode. Definitely the best out of the three for tonight. Still pissed that we don’t seem to get to go to court anymore. I also DESPERATELY miss the recurring guest stars that came along with court rooms, defence attorneys and judges and the like. *sigh* maybe next week. 2 more eps with amanda. Do we think they’ve been clowning us with those BTS pictures/videos or will that shit actually happen?

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[bxngthedoldrums]

im going insane over gabilliam today so im sorry if this is annoying, but which cobra starship songs do u think are about william? personally ive always thought (aside from the kids are all fucked up) keep it simple, you can’t be missed and one day robots will cry are about him lol

u are so valid and this is not annoying at all its actually what i Love 2 Do so thank u

im not gnna be talking abt any late midtown (idk it well enough!) or anything from night shades (i pretend this album doesnt exist) so past that let’s just go album by album,,,

lets start w OBVIOUSLY the kids are all fucked up - since i detailed it in a post a bit ago i won’t get in2 it here but it’s pretty self-explanatory,,past that, while the city sleeps has it’s warmer in the basement. i FEEL LIKE gabe himself joked w william abt this being about him, so if my memory isn’t failing me i’ll try to find a source abt that...i dont think the song is really about him as its kinda just a joke song but its worth noting

keep it simple !!!! this song fucking OWNS and i agree w you,, “i’m down if you don’t expect any more from me” is SO telling,,, yall Know how william talks abt gabe in his songs about him, that kinda looking up to/respecting/being intimidated kinda way. yeah. the rest of it is just cutesy partying stuff and that tracks w them i love it

YOU CANT BE MISSED !!! this song goes CRAZY the chorus is so poignant and “we’re too young / i hate to love you” UMM let us fondly recall william Was 21 when this album came out and like 18 when they met...makes u think....”we’re too fast for love” is a sentiment that has been expressed similarly in some other cobra songs and some tai songs as well !!!

one day robots will cry has always felt like a continuation of you cant be missed to me? so it goes without saying that its prob abt william,, i mean “don’t be afraid my dear / now i’m older” when he just talked abt them being too young in you can’t be missed,, “i’m dying not to hurt you” HOMIE.... “when you were young you kept a list / of the things you’d miss as you got older” sounds like one certain aquarius we know but who’s guessing !!! also the whole “sleep for days” thing just echoes the whole sharing a bed shit both cs and tai talk about OFTEN 

these r the ones u mentioned, but allow me to add on the world has it’s shine. “the way i’m living makes you feel like giving up” compared to the lyrics in chop chop? bruh “i’m gonna make my way home / we can turn our backs on the past” lil similar to the vibe of robots imo....im not even gonna explain these next few lines all u gotta do is read them and u will understand: “i used to dream you up and make you up in my mind” “all i’ve ever wanted is to be understood / you’ve been the only one who could” “not long ago i gave up hope / but you came along and gave me something i could hold onto” ok not long ago sdfghjhgfd when this came out in 2007...ALRIGHT OK ALRIGHT

i may be crucified for this but pleasure ryland sdfghj it seems like such a cutesy jokey song gabe wld definitely write for william to tease him,,like cmon,, “be my hoe ‘cause i’m your moneymaker” also “my heart, it breaks when you get on your knees / won’t you let me take you home?” he’s got JOKES guys gals and nb pals

hot mess is a bit scarce in the gabilliam department other than fuckin FOLD YOUR HANDS CHILD !!!!! HOW THE F U C K . . . whyd they let him release that like truly not one person sat gabe down and was like “maybe this ones too obvious or smth” ... ofc not because pete wentz was enabling his ass and we all know pete’s treacherous past...

anyway that’s some cobra starship songs about william beckett. thank u so much

[jeonqqin]

me and my lovely moots as the OG gang because;

why not?

@mikoto-ica-fics as Bang Chan

reasons why;

mica is our grandpa

mica is also hot asfucck

got those calm leader vibes

also the only sain one

is loGical

but also will most likely skin someone for her babies (hehe that’s us)

but she still complains when we bother her

we are her biggest hassle

also is the shyest baby when getting complimented (pls compliment her, it’s hilarious)

wants everyone to be healthy and happy

#stoptalkingaboutalcohol

#andstartpayingattentiontoyourkids

#theyregettingaway

definitely needs more sleep

@mini-meanhoe as Lee Minho

reasons why;

summer is always spouting something sexual

she owns all of us let’s be honest

will probably eliminate one of us in the future

has definitely thought about killing all us younger ones

endless supply of people thirsting over her

(probably) has killed someone just by looking at them

BDE (big dick energy) to the MAX

has a secret closet(???)

won’t tell us what’s in it but I have my suspicions

cute but will rip your face off if you call her that

I suggest that you do not call her cute if you want to live

unless you’re alice then you can do whatever you want smh

@chanonymous as Seo Changbin

reasons why;

seems super mysTeriOus

but is a big ol softy

has the same energy as “binsual”

bc yeah she pretty hot

I LOVE DARKEU PFF—

acts all tough

but really she be a baby

unintentionally adorable

but like,, I feel like she will knock your lights out

and that’s hot too shoot—

her duality is too much for this world

will be a cute ass baby one second

but then turn around and kick your ass

@lixiefe as Hwang Hyunjin

reasons why;

okay hear me out

don’t you dare question me on this okay?

mal is the cutest creature on this earth and that is what’s up

and she could be talking like a regular person one second just being all adorable

then BAM

your heart is in peices

but like in the best way

understand?

also like she is aesthetic asFUCK

she’s gorgeous

so gorgeous

and the sweetest thing to ever walk this earth

and none of us deserve her *sigh*

@jeonqqin (ME DUDE) as Han Jisung

reasons why;

you can’t deny

I’m a whiny asshole

with everything

especially with alice

but I’m also loud, hyper, and clingy ASFUCK

22nd century fashion bITCH

squirrel cheeks ™

and I’m good at everything hA and super duper handsome

(not really..... unless 👀)

so yknow

jisung guys

I rest my case

@ammuqwer as Lee Felix

reasons why;

this is the most obvious choice

she’s perfect

TELL. ME. IM. WRONG. I. DARE. YOU.

erryone wants to smash istg

everyone’s favorite

it’s unfair

but she cute so I get it

and shit she’s my favorite too

AND THE DUALITY FUCK

it’s like she’s two different people guys

she will melt your soft ass heart with her cuteness

then fuckin kill you with her coy unabashed BABENESS

idec if that isn’t a word, that’s what she is

a fuckin B A B E

and a B A B Y

but don’t be fooled

she WILL kick your ass

but yknow if you’re into that go ahead and make her mad

@hiddenskz as Kim Seungmin

reasons why;

her and mal work together to fucking kill us all

a part of the duality squad with mal and alice

those three hurt us

I also want to mention that she is one of the babiest of babies goSh

but don’t get me wrong

she’s a coY LITTLE SHIT

but it’s okay bc she cute

lowkey tho don’t tell her I said that

she kinda scares me

bc like???

she’s still confusing to me guys just *SIGH*

SHES HOT AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE IT BC SHES ALSO CUTE AND ADORABLE BUT LIKE IM ALSO SCARED OF HER WHICH MAKES HER EVEN HOTTER GUYS MY LIFE IS TOO HARD

oh yeah she’s also our lil puppy :)

@yangomangos as Yang Jeongin

reasons why;

cmon

its obvious isn’t it?

OG brat

also OG baby

BUT SHES GROWING UP SO FAST I—

IT HURTS

everything she does is cute tbh

like she could just say “good morning” to me

and I’ll literally fall to my knees with tears running down my face

bc this little shit is our BABY

HOW DARE SHE HURT ME BY BEING SO PRECIOUS

she also kinda scary like

where’s your parents??

sorry what did you say??

I’m calling child protective services

that kinda scary

but I love her and we all love her so it’s okay

LMAO ily guys so much you all mean the world to me so please don’t kill me after this okay BYE

[tumblunni]

Social anxiety saves lives??

Huh I just had a really stupid experience. Just turned around and some guy was climbing in my window! I often say ‘man, I’m so socially anxious, I think i’d be less scared of getting stabbed in a dark alley’ but I guess I just proved it was true?? I was like ‘UGH MATE, GO ROB SOMEONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY HAS MONEY’ and he freaked the fuck out and jumped out the window again! Then I just locked the window and turned the lights back off and went back to the computer. How the fuck has this experience not left me scared AT ALL yet talking to a customer service guy on the phone can make my heartrate hit the roof??? But also its funny to think about how the weird happenings today were all foreshadowing for this, and how my various social anxiety tactics managed to all work in my favour? Like I was all ‘wtf why is someone knocking on my door in the middle of the night’, and was too scared to open it. And then when i heard someone knocking on my WINDOW I just told myself i was imagining things, or it was a bird. But now in retrospect its obvious that the dude thought I was out because all my lights were off and I wasnt making any large amount of noise. Which is also cos of social anxiety, i always use headphones for the computer and dont have the lights on at 2am and stuff cos i dont wanna annoy my neighbours. And he wouldnt have seen me going in or out of the house all week cos I’ve been having A Depression Time. And then I didnt see him when he knocked at the window cos I had a piece of cardboard over it, cos the curtain rail is broken and its been a weirdly sunny winter. So yeah, a million coincidences of me being a failure at a human being ended up saving me! That and my weird fearlessness in the face of Actual Threat, which probably scared the living daylights out of him. Seriously I didnt even see his face, he just did this absolute piroette on the windowsill and jumped the fuck back out! XD Somehow I actually feel cheered up by this?? It was kinda badass? I was too ‘ugh really, today of all days?’ to even remember that ‘guy in window with knife’ is sort of a threat XD But also you can bet i will not be able to fuckin sleep now and first thing in the morning I’m calling my support worker and screaming HEY CAN WE BUMP THE  MOVING OF HOUSE UP THE PRIORITY LADDER PLZ I wonder if this is the same guy who smashed the window of the neighbour house last year? Cos that was right after they moved, and it seems this guy likes to capitalize on potentially abandoned houses instead of stabbing me like a man. CMON IVE BEEN CLOSER TO DEATH AT MY OWN HANDS, GEEZ!

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

Okay folks. this is it. part 1 of the final chapter

here we go.

-

trial day 2?? oh yeah i forgot they split this game up in the worst, uneven way possible 

-

wow that cutscene was

something alright

-

wow datz actually managed to hold onto the snow globe. kudos?

-

what the fuck

i think i heard it wrong but Dhurke’s objection sounds like an old man 

I'm pretty sure i heard it wrong 

missed the bass

-

who was that no– oh Garananana

i guess she's gonna be the final boss instead huh

- 

im so tired i cant even snark properly 

-

“is that kosher?”

i like it

-

oh god

what.... what is she wearing 

i mean

fuckin

TALK about madonna-whore complex. oh yeah, time to turn super evil?? bear your midriff! show off dem tiddies! 

look, SOJ. theres only one bad bitch in ace attorney who can pull off floaty tendril hair, and its NOT ga’ran.

i cant believe i have to look at this train wreck for the rest of the trial

-

“heh heh heh. its all coming back now. the feel of my blood pumping through my veins”

this is perhaps because youre actually moving now, your eminence.

-

can we just dispense with the trial and have a good old fashioned anime fight? cmon apollo, spike up that hair and grab your BFS. 

-

“meep”

WHATS WITH THE MEEPING

BONNY DID THAT TOO

SOJ ITS 2016 ...ACTUALLY ITS 2028 YOU HOLES

-

everyone in the court: :O what??? whats wrong with rayfa??? why is she sad???

oh i dunno maybe because her fucking Father just got brutally murdered?? maybe??

what the fuck is up with SOJ characters being dumb as a bag of bricks when it comes to other peoples’ feelings regarding death of loved ones???

-

phoenix: shits fucked, thats why?? apollo: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-

“seems like she's worse off today than she was yesterday”

hey game you'd better not be implying any shit 

-

“discipline”

soj

-

alright, back after another longass break. i can do this.

( That’s oddly compassionate of him, all things considered )

I was about to defend Nahyuta because what kind of person wouldn’t try to spare a child from witnessing that kind of trauma... but then again, this is the Sadmad who purposefully tried to trigger someone into losing a trial so

(shrug emoji)

-

grana’s gone into full HORHORHOR BITCH MODE 

partially I'm totally numb because i dont have any stakes in her newfound ebilness, and partially I'm tired of this weird new trend of child abuse in the new games 

- 

“Barbed head.”

oh my god 

the first person she goes to after realizing that her caretaker is gone is fucking Phoenix 

im gonna cry 

“ive been reduced to “royal robe remover”” NO NICK YOU’VE BEEN UPGRADED TO DAD BY SOMEONE WHO’S NOT YOU

( ‘It’s like she’s grooming Mr. Wright to be Nayna’s replacement’) 

I know this game is all about confusing bullshit for heartwarming moments and vice versa but guys 

good lord

my heart

i really needed that 

-

(sigh) they really couldn’t get someone who sounded like a fucking 14 year old to do her voice?? really???

-

rayfa: (looks like she's going to die and collapses)

apollo: this is not good...

gee apollo you really think so? 

-

wait a fuking second 

we went through the whole dance cutscene and we’re not even going to see the pool??? does that mean the priestess has to be conscious and present for the images to be visible? ...and how does that work, anyway? 

i just realized, a medium could use a pool to see the dead, but how the hell could they project it for others to see?? does she literally open a portal to hell???

(sigh) i just regret sitting through that cutscene again

-

“cabal of traitorous lawyers”

i love that

-

(Seriously Dhurke? This is no laughing matter.)

this basically sums up Dhurke’s entire personality 

...yknow, i know what they were trying to do with his character– i really do. i know he’s supposed to come off as a dashing, cavalier rebel who laughs in the face of danger. 

but they overshot endearingly irreverent and ploughed straight into fuckwaddome. if you want a character to be charming, they need softer moments too. Dhurke isn’t a bad person, but he’s kind of an asshole when you get right down to it, and nothing so far is proving otherwise. 

-

ok ive heard Dhurke’s Objection again and it doesn't sound like an old man– it just sounds about as overblown and ridiculous as Manfred von Karma’s (not to mention about as deep)

-

LET DHURKE SAY BITCH

... i guess

-

another perfect example of Dhurke being kind of a fuckwad: he keeps needling the queen and baiting her in ways that could get himself killed, which would be all fine and dandy if he were the brave resistance leader being tortured for information in the bowels of a dungeon.

...but here’s the thing.

IF YOU DIE, DHURKE, APOLLO AND PHOENIX DIE TOO. DID YOU FORGET ABOUT THE GODDAMN DC ACT? ITS NOT JUST YOUR DEAD ASS ON THE LINE HERE SO SHUT YOUR SASSY TRAP AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR *AMAZING WIT* FOR ONCE.

you’ve got 2 extra lives on the line here.

...3 if my suspicions are correct.

-

stop calling him son please you abandoned him in an orphanage and didnt contact him for 14 years.

...and if he can’t call you ‘dad’ you have no right to call him ‘son’

-

coming back to this after ghost trick has convinced me that one of ga’ran’s lackeys miiiiiight be related to Cabanela, baby

-

“Wright... I can see we are kindred spirits, you and I! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!!”

NO

NO 

NO

NO

FUCK YOU DHURKE 

-

“It’s pretty easy to spot the difference between a soulless man and the soulless shell of a man”

ok that did get a laugh out of me, good job dhurke.

-

apollo: pls dont get us killed dhurke: mmmm ok ill try but I'm not promising anything lol

://///

-

“But remember, son, if you truly believe in me, you should be able to prove my innocence.”

do i even have to list how many reasons thats wrong and a shitty thing to say

-

“Such Insolence”

You’ve been beat out, Not So Fast

-

Ga’ran used Gust!

Apollo flinched and couldn’t move!

-

“I could behead you at any time”

she's got a point; she’s a fucking despot, there’s no reason to actually hold a trial. i mean i guess she wants to shut up the rebels but just killing them would be a lot easier and its not like she has any qualms about murder

-

“Aw shoot, ya got me.”

again, not an appropriate reaction for whats going on buddy

-

lol get fucked kjudge

-

DGFUFUS OH COOL

WE GOT GUILTY (excited cheers from the audience)

the applause and the shots of everyone with :O faces is making me feel like i just won a gameshow 

wheres my cheesy jingle 

-

also i love how Dhurke’s like “oh shit!! my assholishness has directly resulted in my son’s death!!! did NOT see that coming!!!!!!!!!”

-

again the sound mixing is drowning out the background music (sigh)

-

“your benevolence? I’d be happy to lend an ear if you’d like to talk!”

>this is it, this is why he leaves the series guys. Apollo is too good for these sinful games.

-

DAMNIT DHURKE, YOUR SHIT MOUTH IS RUBBING OFF ON YOUR SON

-

hmm

we’ve got an april may here

-

“Rayfa, I shall buy you a new servant”

so Kooraheen practices slavery..? I mean, she.... she said ‘buy’, not hire.

-

“she would have left shoeprints”

do

do you know what evaporation is your malevolence 

-

wait wait wait

that doesn't make any sense 

the only prints leading out are from Inga, but the prints inside the building are from Nayna? how did she avoid leaving prints leading inside, then?? did she just long-jump over the dirt path???

-

the guards are not fanboying, apollo, they’re toadying. there’s a difference.

-

apollo: maybe the place he was stabbed and the place he died were different 

(the game only continues after you carefully explain what dying of blood loss is three years later)

-

to be completely fair, there are actually stories of people who were unaware of being stabbed 

furthermore, when you get stabbed, you’re not going to be the most rational human being on earth. 

phoenix, don’t give sadmad that point, especially when he’s currently assaulting your protege 

now, as i was saying, Apollo’s suggestion that Inga was stabbed in the back and then ran into the temple is perfectly plausible; running to shelter from an attacker is probably the first thing you’d want to do when injured, and the tomb was a pretty safe place, i’d wager. 

tbh i really don’t know why they’re arguing about him feeling the pain as that wouldn’t really impair his movement considering he was stabbed in a place that wouldn’t affect his ability to walk???

but yeah apparently he was doped up to shit so 

-

...i highly doubt back pain medication is strong enough to negate a stab wound. on the other hand, if it is and your back pain is THAT intense, Inga, you need to see a fucking doctor pronto.

...yeah shots straight into the spine is one step away from surgery; not to be an asshole but I'm not sure Inga was doing so well anyway before he went 

-

huh. are they really gonna give us an actual choosable choice to abandon Dhurke and save our own skin? Cause that would be interesting; a lot like the old games where you could “”choose”” to defend a client or not.

to be clear here, though, i wouldn't choose “no” even as much as i dislike dhurke. we know (sigh) that he’s innocent, and even if i dont like him it’s our duty to defend his shitty ass

OH HOLY FUCK

THERES THE CHOICE

wow. y’know SOJ, i dont much like you, but you fuckin Did That. well done.

also thank you for the Justice pun it is much appreciated.

-

“And while I can’t say I’m used to it, this isn’t exactly my first rodeo”

FWHAT

>game flashes back to the Ahlbi case

DSKJFLS THIS IS LITERALLY THE “at second rodeo: this isn't my first rodeo” POST

-

YES OK WE’VE SEEN THIS CUTSCENE TWICE NOW ALREADY

WE GET IT, RAYFAS GOT COLD FEET ABOUT BEING QUEEN

MAYAS IN THE GAME 

OK

-

phoenix: allow me to mansplain how rayfa is feeling despite how fucking obvious it is. after all, we know our players have the mental and emotional capacity of goldfish!

oh hey mansplain is a legit word in the dictionary 

cool!

-

why are they building this up?? just fucking tell Rayfa to do her stupid dance again and get on with it; we already did this at the beginning of the trial 

-

“Hmm... Indeed. It would be problematic.”

ohohoooohohohhhihgjhgo

-

oh her nails are actually tiny pen 

thats neat 

thank goodness Kooraheeneese is an up-and-down written language– otherwise they’d have to make a whole new animation for the english game teehee

-

“....................But... Horn Head needs my help”

oh my heart

-

dan she just straight up begone’d her 

-

see the one thing that falls flat here is that, during a regular trial, the prosecution saying “oh, ok, have it your way; you can try to prove your theory” holds up a little more since they... you know. don’t have absolute power.

where as, with Garananana, its more like she's just a huge posturing pushover. especially since every other minute she's saying “ok, I'm gonna kill you for REAL now.”

-

rayfa: b but if i fail you'll be killed!!! i dont get it...

apollo: i literally just finished explaining that I'm 100% ready to die for my shitty job that was like 5 minutes ago

it is sweet to see that he’s cheering her on though. good big bro 

-

I'm finding small solace in this beautiful moment of “your foreign dad and bro are here for you babe reach for the stars”

Athena’s probably flashing a double thumbs up from the gallery too

-

“But... I finally know now. I know in what I can trust”

Bobby, from the afterlife: YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 

-

Garan: What??? my tiny 14 year old daughter is going to do a thing i don’t want her to??? fuck there’s no way i can shut her up. not even with all of my large adult man guards who could easily just escort her out of the courtroom without any resistance because they’re my fucking royal guards and I'm the Queen

-

oh shit she took off her own cape

im so glad i muted the game so her awful voice actress couldn’t ruin this cool moment

-

and now as this long ass cutscene plays out again, i simply cannot help but wonder about the poor choir and how long they’ve been on standby 

where do they keep the choir during trials 

whats it like singing the dance of devotion song every trial 

-

oh finally here we go. alright, lets see what the magic party pool has in store for us this time 

...o ...ok then

-

OH! OH SHIT 

Inga’s face blind?!

Y’know I did have a few thoughts about that when we discovered his notebook but I didn’t think they’d actually go that route... though, thinking about it now, it is pretty convenient.

...ok everyone’s freaking out. maybe they’ve never heard of face-blindness? ...or maybe its not face blindness after all

im pretty sure it is though

-

i dont know why but everyone being like FUCK ITS GOD and phoenix being like “whoops shits trippy now” made me laugh pretty hard

-

ok i gotta say I'm actually a little invested now, even if its just because i think face-blindness is an interesting thing to incorporate into a murder case. again, a convenient thing, but an interesting thing all the same.

-

ahh fuck i keep forgetting how the stupid seance works 

welp, there goes one of my souls... (sigh)

-

..apollo you dont need to show her the picture of her dead father to say “he had a cell phone”.

-

the voice was coming from INSIDE THE PHONE 

-

RAYFA HAS A PET FROG????

WHAT

SHOW US THE FROG SOJ

SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! SHOW US THE FROG! 

-

...why would Rayfa interpret the sound of the warbaa’d (something she’s familiar with) with a lion’s roar (something she’s unfamiliar with) ??

-

oh i see thats why Vore Machine is an idiot 

for plot convenience 

-

Datz Are’bal, a man who throws fire crackers at children.

...sounds like an are’bal guy.

bahdum-tshh

-

“The joker who got a kick out of startling Ahlbi with his Dragon Snot Snaps”

...something tells me that if Datz found out about Youtube, he’d be one of those “””prank””” channels.

also WHY ARE THEY CALLED SNOT SNAPS

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

-

“happy-go-lucky”

i think you mean vaguely sociopathic

-

(sigh) ive finally been worn down to the point where i need a walkthrough. ive... been beaten...

-

boy ahlbi’s just a font of knowledge isn't he 

-

DID SHE JUST BREAK HER NAILS OFF

PLEASE SAY THOSE WERE STICK ONS

HOL SHIT

-

MMMM LAY IT ON ME NICK

face blindness 

... i mean theyre not calling it that but thats what it is 

-

yeah yeah channeling blah blah come on! youre in the LAND of channeling !

-

shduhjahdjk

I'm picturing Inga running into his own dead body and flipping his shit 

-

oh man. thats the end of Trail 2 part 1.

guess i’ll see you guys on the other side... heheh. 

[neopuff]

riverdale ep 1-3

these twins always make me >___>

oh yeah i knew jason was gonna die

this is very artsy

i thought he was murdered

oh

tragedy

oh......a mom for veronica

what is a...chocolate shoppe? and why? does it sell? burgers?

is veronica the new kid

OH KEVIN

the gay kid gweiopubgoewgnew

the acting in this is terrible

the archie actor is clearly not a real ginger so i approve of this casting lmao

“to pass time i started composing poems in my head” shut up archie

archie: says anything betty: amazing!

lmao

betty: ive been thinking about us- archie: is that a hot bitch i see

“we do, both of us, together”

omg

GNOIWPEGWE BETTY’S FACE IS KILLING ME

awkward

oh....archies dad

thats not archies dad

archies dad got that fat gut

“im a sophomore’ BITCH NO UR NOT

SHES GOTTA BE LIKE 25 LMAAAOO whaaatt

im still dying theyre supposed to be 15 gwenpiubgewo;gwe

“gay, thank god, lets be best friends” im gonna piss and die

wow

love these pussycats

“ive had every flavor of boy except orange” its better that

waywiongubwepogn;wegew

ARCHIE AND GRUNDY IM DYING!!!!

IM GONNA FUCKINGGG DIIEEEE

GRUNDYINOGEW;EWL

im pissing im

DYING

shes the music teacher

why wouldnt they just make up a new teacherniogwepng;ew WHY IS SHE MS GRUNDY!!!

oh

archies dad/veronicas mom have a....history

“chose the rich kid”

wow

so many divorced parents

outdoor cafeteria

when will i see a high school that has one of these forreal

i assume its a west coast or south us thing

kevin: refers to cheryl as a widow me: i called the JOKES

“is cheerleading still a thing?” “is being the gay best friend still a thing”

the dialogue in this show is terrible its so funny

im glad betty/ronnie is a good ship

grundy is all turned on by archies music

this is so gross and im DYING

“i dont think thats a good idea” cuz u fucked a 15 year old bitch

oh

theyre not talking about the fucking

did cheryl murder her brother

why doesnt just one of them say it and not mention the other

bitch ur the only one who’d get in trouble ur an ADULT

that was so lackluster

wow

GNIWEUPGEW;OGWE

CHERYL’S FACEGNIEW;GEW

like yeah....not the kind of heat i meant :\

oh

im glad cheryls the villain i always hated her

wow

veronica: i know who u are [has known her for 2 minutes]

this dialogue is so unnatural and bad its cracking me tf up

get WRECKED cheryl

veronica: betty and i come as a matching set

i bet u do

time for football

“what you got something better to do” dont be rude

awww

“why did you defend me” just accept the kindness u fool

man

i like mr lodge

this is very awkward

was polly a character in the comics i dont remember her

WOW

“both of us” gewinouogbewgew

im DYING

in the headspace

“archiekins” gweinouobgweo;ngew

wow

“cheryl blossoms cheerleading squad.......”

bettys mom is so annoying

she sounds familiar

oh

mr lodge just sent a lotta money their way

why did the coach call his dad

he said hed give him a day

impatient ass

archies dad is just like :\

:/

:\

:/

these actors dont look related at all

which is funny to me

oh good its the pill in ibiza song

omg

i love that veronica is the speech giver in this show

moose/kevin gwiuebogiwgew

where is REGGIE

my SON

wow

openly talking about the illegal secrets at a big party

i just realized reggie is the asian guy

i didnt hear his name and couldnt figure out who tf that was gweopiubgwe;ngwe

im a fool

whered ronnie go

dancing with the gay guy, god

“i have this fantasy of us as a power couple” who asks someone out like that

STOP STARING AT GRUNDY

this is super awkward

cheryl is gonna murder...everyone

they could just

chill

“cheryl blossom truly is...the antichrist” just all her a bitch like a normal person

“we’re not just friends we’re best friends” shut up archie

wOW

hes NEVER FELT for betty

if these two make out i s2g

once they kiss cheryls gonna open the door

foolish children

ronnie dont DO IT

foolish

sighs

boring

what how tf would she know they made out

did they not come out at exactly 7 minutes

ok but wheres betty

oh hey jughead

i like jugheads not-crown

oh

now shes goin straight for love

“of course i love you” hes being so...obtuse

annoying

oh

ok now its about not being good enough

sure

did they find jayjay

and look at that

he got shot in the head

probably by his sister

ok

its obvious cheryl did it

im sure theyll switch it up like somehow it was secretly jughead

but it was cheryl

ok ep 2

fgewgw

why were they even fuckin at 6 am

cant believe they made moose gay

i forgot his gf’s name in the comicsniguwebgew

god

the actor that played jason was so uggo

GEWNIOG;EW SHARING A SHAKE WITH HIS TWIN SISTER!!!

maybe someone shot him for being so openly incestuous with his creepy sister

i know its like plagueing archie now but i feel like this should help him

“are you up?” “no” “youre killing your mother”

he went to grundys house

weird

and hes shirtless

“you could be expelled” “we could go to jail” NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM!!!

pedophilia is not a two way street

oh

bettys mom is...the worst

betty plz dont talk to your bitch mother about your life

i love archies eyebrows

i hope this is the end of archie/betty forever

wow

“sardonic humor”

oh

bye jughead

oh

is kevin not out to his dad

“the yellows for friendship” sure

veronica is so aggressively into this friendship

YAYYY

the otp stays together

wow

betty u are a fool

that is your future WIFE

oh

hi mr weatherbee

cheryl is wearing a spider pin gewoinubgewlngkew

CHERYL

archie and mr weatherbee just gonna

make eyes

jughead: archie you KILLED him

fewijohuog

HE THINKS ARCHIE DID IT

no jughead i was just fucking the hot prof

jughead: ew

fewiougobewgno;ewlgew

kevin moose is your new bf

“fate throws us together” ok

wow

why is he rejecting moose

because hes in the closet???

hes clearly trying to come out cmon

oh

everyones terrified of cheryl now so thats good

oh

bettys mom

“i ship it” why

“moose has an official girlfriend...mitch” i feel like i heard this line wrong

oh, betty

dont cry sweetums

“im supposed to say yes” THE DIALOGUE

ronnie is trying so hard with these dramatic white ppl

really

they couldnt even keep weatherbee fat

is this channel afraid of fat ppl

wow

does this bitch just sit in her empty ass music room all day

is she not really even a teacher

DONT TALK ABOUT FEELINGS

YALL ARE GROSS!!!!

disgusting

bitch get a dog and leave teenagers alone

WOW

WOW LMAAAAOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAA

JUGHEAD: WHAT!! GROSS!!! WTF!!!

this is not high school cheerleading

one of the girls here actually looks like a high schooler

cheryl just called herself exoticgewiongewiogew; CUZ YOURE A GINGER? BITCH

i die

oh

betty why

wOW

betty dont do this

cheryls a crazy ho

i know theyll make up by the end of the ep but still

“like we were meant to be best friends” gweniguebwg

2nd grade tutor

gewinogubwegw

“oh, little archie-” little archiewgn;klew I DIE

references are what i live for

i cant believe betty let cheryl into her house

wheres her mom to scream and chase her out

welp

there goes that

betty dont let her into ur HOME

oh

whats betty doing

“BEFORE I KILL YOU” BETTY

terrible thing to say

are they not friends because archie stood him up

cougarngiewgew

SHES A PEDOPHILE

awkward

i guess bettys mom coulda killed jason

“sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend” actually, always, not sometimes

oh reggies finally doin something

gonna keep up the reggie/jughead rivalry

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

ok

“you wanna d the right thing” the way archie said that made it sound like he wants to fuck her and she doesnt want to

but whatever

so does jughead and bettys friendship not exist in this universe

nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions

wow

this dialogue is still awful its so funny

i hope it never improves purely for my amusement

out door pep rally...

[dances]

fewiulgbew

AHH HONEY HONEY

YOU ARE MY

CAAAANDY GIIIIIIRL

good shit

oh

cheryls having a Time

god the kid that plays jason is so uggo

oh

bye cheryl

finally getting a genuine emotional response from her

were they gonna fake his death for attention but then he was actually dead

yayyy

make up

veronica is over here like “betty and i were destined to be friends” and betty is like “im sure we wont know each other in a week”

aww archie and jughead back 2gedda

does jughead know betty or not

wheres the jughead/betty brotp of my past

veronica and jughead: interact me: yes...

im glad that, unlike in the comics, archie is not dating both girls at once and then also every other girl he meets

where ya goin weatherbee

wha

A CHALKBOARD LOL

i doubt a school like this would have a chalkboard instead of a smartboard

oh

did she do it

gasp

im sticking with my fake death for the attention theory

OK LAST EP

im enjoying this show

but i dont think i could take multiple Dramatic Teen Shows

how could cheryl be wearing that skirt in public school

“the plan was bananas”

oh

jason just wanted.....to leave

thats fine

oh

who got shot

gwneio;glkwe

in my neighborhood it wouldve just been the hunters

is archie gonna have a shiner for the rest of the show

oh

is betty not poor as shit in this universe?

i shouldve guessed from her moms outfits

“a lois lane type like you” nice and ronnie can be clark kent

omg leave grundy alone so she can die in hell

wha

why didnt you just say that you were alone

oh

dog

ok

a date....

oh

hes hot

good call, ronnie

CHUCK CLAYTON

“hes kind of a player” dont be racist, betty

he is hot as hell tho

awww “juggie”

finally jughead and betty are 2gedda

jughead you need shit for your college applications

oh right, dilton

what

“im not ten years old” but you are 15 which is not very different

so if chuck is in the show is nancy gonna be around too

ronnie/chuck is a good ship

“to OUR relationship” shut the fuck you youre a pedophile

wow

the sticky maple....

wow

chuck was cute

ronnie is gonna tear him apart

man

why does chuck have to be a dick!!! chuck was always a nice guy

fewionpgnew

betty: [COVERS FACE]

destroy him

PUNCH HIM

why is chuck a villain im bothered but also hes the worst destroy him

this terrible au version of chuck is terrible

“nothing is off the table...except for my body” weiugblewnkg

i love the pussycats

is this every other girl chuck did this to

oh

its ethel

hi cheryl

go away

lmao

whose this kid

wow

ok jughead

dont steal his ice cream

oh

dilton shot a gun gwoinegbpweo;nglwe

survivalist?!?! DILTON

IM DYING

HES A TECHNOLOGY OBSESSED NERD

why do the pussycats roll their eyes at josie

“a bnd with b&v”

did they find...ze book

so the football players dont even fuck the girls its just about getting a date and a selfie???

oh

cheryl, doubting her brother

what

just take the book

why not...just take the book

powerful

bettys rly lucky her mom isnt violent

(for now)

oh

she looks super awkward in that

omg

the sound of bettys lil demons in her head

“and a hot tub....”

this is such an awkward conversation

just imagining this with real 15 year olds is ridiculous

oh hey ronnie

chuck youre so fucking stupid

shes wearing a swimsuit and heels this is CLEARLY A TRAP

GWENOIGO;NEW

BETTY

black is not a good hair color

ronnie: im so turned on

GEWNIOG;EWG

SLAP!!!!

i just realized why archies dad is so familiar

he was on generator rex AND clone high

love it

part of me always liked archie/josie

15 is not late wtf

“slut shaming...its what they call it when sluts get shamed” wow

when does bettys mom get murdered

um

are they gonna burn him

UM

um

betty

LMAO

shes fine shes just pissed

awww

dads gonna support u now

must be NICE

gweoniugbweo;gew bettys face when ronnie said she called chuck “jason” was so funny

are they gonna do some she went off her meDS OO---OOOHHHA AAAHHH TERRIBLE BEAST

#burn it

cheryl tryin to make up for ze past

i still hate her idc

omg when does grundy get murdered too im done with this pedophilia subplot

STAY AWAY

FROM THE CHILD!!!

-___-

dilton you fool

im happy juggie and betty are hanging out

oh

dont mention ms grundys car

NO

YOU

FOOL!!!!

im tired of this pedophile plz shoot her next

ok im all caught up

whens the next episode

[prettydopebandblog-blog]

Ok so story time. So I'm in band (if it wasn't obvious enough) and tonight we had to perform at a basketball game. Now we only have so many performances we do every year. Like the concert band has about 8 all together, and really only 3 main performances where people come to see just the band. So anyways, in rehearsal leading up to the performance, our director has been having us rehearse songs just for the game, because he wants us to sound good obviously. Anyways so before the game were all sitting in the bleachers. And our band director goes over to talk to the cheer captain so he could know like what they wee doing during time outs and stuff like that bc he's a nice guy and is like oh i don't wanna interrupt them. So anyways the game starts and theres a time out. The cheerleaders do their thing and he was about to have us play a really short song (it was 7 seconds cmon) and then they start the game again, well aware that we were about to play. But we were all like ok they gotta do what they gotta do we'll just play that song at the end of the quarter or when theres time. But than at the end, we were about to play a new song we have all been working really hard on in rehearsal. And we start, we are about 10 measures in and the athletic director of our school runs over to our director and tells him to cut us off. So he does and then all she says is "thank you all for coming and good win eagles" and then we don't get to finish our song". The whole band was so freaking mad. I was furious. She interrupted us in the middle of our performance. What annoys me the most about this is how they ASKED for the band to perform but almost never gave us an opportunity to do shit. We work just as hard as all the athletes there and they couldn't have cared less. Like our director is such a nice guy like he wasn't gonna tell off the athletic director or make us finish the song even if she wanted to stop, like he wasn't gonna be like oh were gonna go before the cheerleaders because he didn't wanna like interrupt anyone else's performance which is good and nice of him but oh boy IF I WAS THE BAND DIRECTOR I WOULD DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE. I WOULD HAVE US START A SONG THE SECOND A QUARTER WAS OVER. I WOULDN'T STOP THE BAND FROM PLAYING EVEN IF THEY HAD TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. THE GAMES FUCKIN OVER LADY LET THE DAMN BAND PLAY. OR YA SHOULD HAVE MADE YOUR DAMN ANNOUNCEMENT BEFORE WE STARTED PLAYING. AND YA KNOW WHY I WOULD DO THIS. BECAUSE I KNOW HOW DAMN HARD THE BAND WORKED FOR THAT GAME. WE CANT JUST BUST OUT A SONG OUTTA NOWHERE LIKE WE GOTTA WORK IF WE WANNA SOUND GOOD. AND IT PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF THAT PEOPLE CANT SEE THAT. i'm not asking for them to have the band play the whole game, i just don't want to be cut off the few times we do. Especially if its after the games over and we are already in the middle of the song

[cezulian]

I have a Crush™ on a dude from work but all I have are anxieties about these things bc he specifically is very chill and soft spoken in the way that it just makes me hyper-aware how fuckin loud and endlessly chatty I am and also I do this thing where I think every single person is irritated by me bc all I talk about is either the media I’m consuming or thoughts and ideas on shit that’s too deep in the realm of conversation to ever have a nice light talk about or I’m fuckin cracking stupid jokes because I’m naturally a very goofy person but I don’t want that to come off as trying too hard which I worry it always does? And also I hate my body because I have scars like everywhere on my torso at least and forreal I can’t even comfortably have sex unless I have a shirt on which is just awkward and stupid and horrible and I haven’t been in a relationship in fifty trillion years and my last one was a garbage disaster that ended badly so like??? I don’t even know how to do that bullshit anymore or what’s normal really or fuckin whatever bc I was 18 or 19 when that was over and I’m a totally different person now.

Also I don’t know how to fuckin act EVER did I mention this because seriously since high school I’ve been micro-analyzing every single one of my actions and people’s reactions to them bc I don’t want a repeat of high school where I was slowly being replaced in the friend group that I’d had for years by someone else and said friend group kept inching and inching away from me until I asked them what was up and they all went off on me about all these supposedly vexing character traits I had I wasn’t even aware of being there nor being something that was tearing us apart so now as an adult if I even think that someone is having an adverse reaction to my behavior I frantically try and fix it or redo it and then I obsess over if I did THAT right like an alien in a bad skinsuit trying to convince everyone that they’re a normal human being but their florglap fluid is sweating through their plartoch layer and its becoming more and more obvious to everyone that they’re not of this world.

Also people just straight up don’t wanna date me, like genuinely, yknow? I just don’t think I have a dateable personality and I mean that from an entirely objective standpoint. I’m very “cheeky best friend to male lead in a rom com who liked him the whole time but at the end decides that he’s better off with female lead and the end credits narrative shows me sitting on a train and the on screen text talks about how I later moved to Geneva to study philosophy and became a professor and never married or whatever” kind of vibe to me I mean really yall know me I’m bursting at the seams with infinity things I want to talk about all the time I never shut up unless I get tired or I begin to realize that I’m talking too much and spend the rest of the time I’d spend talking in complete silence obsessing over how much I’ve talked until my hands bleed from digging my fingers into my palms too hard and didn’t notice or someone literally shoots me dead. I’m a good listener and I love listening but I still feel like I haven’t mastered the distinct balance between giving people too much of my time this being talked over or taken advantage of thus not being listened to in return (not that I ever like “expect anything in return” for listening) and not giving people enough because I’m more concerned with helping them out or trying to make them feel listened to. Idk if its because of me or because of the different perspectives of the people I’ve dated or what dude. I’m also very very very emotional about everything and not a lot of people get that if they’re going to watch a show or movie with me or we found out we read the same book I’m gonna wanna fuckin GET INTO IT like CRAZY DEEP because I thrive on figuring things out and deconstructing ideas and finding out how they work and will work in the future but even people who know what they’re getting into with me end up exasperated and either try to change the subject or just have this look on their face like they’d rather be anywhere else. I definitely know people who can talk longer on one singular subject than I can but cmon yall that’s not the type of person anyone would actually want to be in a relationship with! And I always feel like I attract the extremes of one particular group or another whenever I do attract people because my interests vary so much? Like I love Shakespeare, Reality TV, Dragon Ball Z + other very specific genres of anime, Haute Couture, very specific genres of Video Games™, World history, Revolutionary War history, pretentious art films, politically-fueled rap music, shallow and bare minimum rap music, very specific genres of talk-singy freeverse indie music, astrology, 80s cartoons, social issues, weird gore art, and very specific genres of shitty youtube videos and all in all I know that these things aren’t unique or special and a lot of people are into these same things but I can never seem to find someone who isn’t just into only one of these things and is disappointed once they get to know everything else and just kind of drop me?

But because of all this I’m both super secretive and paranoid about everything and everyone as well as uncomfortably open and weirdly personal with everything and everyone and I get to a point where when I have a Crush™ on someone I work myself up into liking them a whole lot and then if they somehow end up liking me too I freak the fuck out about everything wrong with me and also obligation and commitment as a prospect and turn em down but then when they say “ok I’ll date x person instead” I also freak out because “how could you do this to me I thought we were real???” and when they go “oh ok so u wanna go out?” again I go “Oooh I’m actually in a really bad place right now sorry” and that’s not fair to anyone man!!

But guess what dude none of this matters anyways because this guy has a girlfriend and I don’t fuck with peoples’ relationships like that so even though we like the same very specific genres of both games and movies and even though he seems genuinely interested in what I have to say and vice versa and even though we share the same opinions on the goings on of various facets of modern human psychological/societal development and politics its like whatever man. I’m not trying to be a fuckin nihilistic douche or overdramatize my shit bc I’m not super sad or anything right now I’m just like trying to remember my cycle of bullshit and not come off as though I’m fetishizing my sadness and now I’m just like laying here its 6:04 AM and I’m paranoid about posting this and yall knowin all kinds of shit about me but also I want yall to because its only natural for people to want to be understood or to want to even feel like they could be understood and I know yall won’t read this but I don’t want that to sound like I’m fishing for pity because again I’m not sad I’m just workin out my shit ya feel bc I gotta go to work with this guy on Friday and I’m gonna let him borrow Silent Hill 3 because I said I would because I don’t know when to stop so this is all just on repeat in my head yall feel

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is it weird that i get salty when the obvious pokemon bad guys end up being obvious pokemon bad guys? like.. it just.. KEEPS HAPPENING whichever villain is my favourite and was usually at least 90% harmless and comic relief in the original game will suddenly become deplorable and horrid and everyone was right for hating them and i’m a bad prson for ever liking them and MAN I should have seen it coming because they ~looked bad~ but yknow maybe i was just fuckin hoping for not stupid ugly = evil stereotypes, especially in a genertaion where the main villain is supposed to mislead you by looking pretty and all and its always this REALLY SPECIFIC THING where in the adaptation or sequel or whatever they’ll be all like ‘hey specifically the one guy bunni liked is gonna be used as the Prime Example Of A Worse Villain To Make The Other Villains Look More Redeemable’ charon got used as that in two separate mangas, and it was like a stab in the face cos thats the only time he ever got significant screentime thus it kinda overpowers his original game self amoungst the fandom >_> and now same for faba but he’s got WAY more screentime in the anime devotd to making it clear he’s The Worst and also hey lets have a canon sequel game where we take back the sequel hook we seemed to give about him being redeemed and nope instead he’s Even Eviller Than Lusamine and will join the New Villain Guys while you team up with wicke to take him down because like friggin OF COURSE the sexy mom lookin lady would be the one good admin of the two admins when the other one happened to have a grumpy face and a hunch. ITS ALWAYS THIS ONE ART STYLE. THEY LITERALLY HAVE AN ART STYLE FOR IT. I love nanu cos he’s literally the first character they’ve ever drawn with That Face who hasn’t been a villain. And like Petrel is kinda a bit less stereotypical too cos he’s JUST the comic relief and he never got any big ‘worse than the other three’ moment but im really reluctant to start liking him in case they suddenly do it >_> WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST GRUMPY EYES, GAME FREAK?? also why has it twice been a science grump in particular also like this has happened to me in a whole bunch of other fandoms even when i pick completely different things as my favourites, i guess i just have REALLy bad luck.. I just.. like.. if that was what you intended with faba then you should have MADE IT MORE CLEAR like yes he’s still comical in his more evil anime incarnation and yes he was still evil either way. but in the games he wasn’t like.. unforgiveable horrible hateable nobody is allowed to have him be their favourite evil. He was pathetic and harmless and even the reveal of him taking part in making Type:Null was done in kind of a comedic way, like i know people drew a load of fanart of him being this crazy mad surgeon who abused this thing and kept it in a cage but seriously ingame you find out via HIS SELF HELP BLOG! he’s an egotistical selfish dumbass but he just felt like some sort of yes man who went along with all this evil shit cos he likes money and fame, not a guy who was like.. even smart enough to think of his own damn evil plots on his own. And he never had any scenes of abusing somebody’s pet owl or kidnapping lillie or Oh Man He’s Specifically So Bad That Even Team Rocket Hates Him. he was funny evil and now he’s just hate evil that happens to have some funny scenes. And I mean I know the problem is just that i didn’t predict the character correctly but I’m still salty about it. Cos literally anyone could have predicted it based on his appearance alone, and its like a punishment for daring to try and stay semi optimistic about a non stereotype existing. Everyone could have predicted this entire thing the instant that they showed faba and wicke’s concept art, AND THEY DID, and I had to endure a whole bunch of faba hate posts for months until the game came out, and I was like At Least Mildly Pleasantly Surprised that he was still evil in the game but he was harmless comic relief and Actually Pretty Funny and then people didnt have all that many reasons to outright despise him even if he still wasnt very liked. And I was super happy that there’s that easter egg of him appearing as a league challenger on certain days of the month, and I was hoping that maybe he’d get his act together in the sequel! just cmon nintendo, if you didnt give this to charon and now you’re taking it back from faba then can you please say at least next generation the ‘ugliest villain’ won’t also be the ‘so evil that even the other evils hate him’ archetype? I mean i’m not asking much, ive given up on asking for one of these characters to be the one who gets redeemed.. siiiiiigh