#like lmao. i've been in actual rl situations where several ppl were accusing each other of being the abuser

[seawitchkaraoke]

heads up, this is about The Trial everyone won’t shut up about, so skip if you don’t wanna hear it. not tagging bc i don’t want the fans of either side to come running at me

i think y’all need to learn that sometimes things are simply unsatisfying and there are no good solutions and you simply will never know whether ‘‘the good ones’‘ won or not bc you do not know who “the good ones” are (or whether anyone is)

Like. Option 1: He abused her, she now owes him damages for writing about things that actually did happen -> objectively horrible if this is what happens I feel very sorry for her

Ooption 2: She abused him and if he’d lost he would have to keep sitting by while she tells everyone it was the other way around -> also objectively horrible and in this case i’d be glad he won, good for him

Option 3: they both hurt and abused each other, everyone is the worst, there are no innocents -> fuck it i guess, doesn’t matter who won

But like. None of us know the truth. The jury found it “more likely than not” that it’s something along the lines of option 2 (but this is a civil case so no “beyond a reasonable doubt” it’s just “more likely than not” aka like 51%) but they don’t know either. Presumably the two of them know. But idk man, they probably both do genuienly think of themselves as the victim, bc that is how real life abusers work, they usually don’t think of themselves as abusive (source: I’ve met abusers)

And everyone acting like they somehow know 100% what the actual truth is annoy me so much, shut up, you don’t know shit, none of us know. Yes that sucks! Yes that’s really uncomfortable! Yes it’s easier to take a side and simply Be Sure of what Real Justice would be! But you don’t know! I don’t know either! I really don’t like not knowing, I would love to be as certain as y’all are, but I simply do not know and I’m just gonna have to live with that. I highly doubt either of them has enough evidence that they’d win an actual “beyond reasonable doubt” abuse case with how close this civil one was.

Also no, it doesn’t set a legal precedent, that is not how legal precedents work.

And yes if this encourages abusers to file for defamation or discourages victims from speaking out that sucks but like. There was no winning here. That would have happened no matter what. If he lost there’d now be posts everywhere about how this discourages male victims from fighting back or whatever, there is no winning here.  Especially since again, we simply cannot know who the actual “villian” is.