#and guess what! no matter how obvious the situation may be from your side! it is not in fact! obvious from everyone elses side!

[epomanias]

wait, they don't love you like i love you — t.duncan

summary: after ten years of friendship, tashi still hasn't realized that you'd treat her better than any man could

contains: fluffy drabble, wlw relationship, tashi getting the love she deserves<3, artrick shade (i still love them i swear)

“It’s just- Fuck, they piss me off more than you could imagine. It’s always some new bullshit, I’m sick of it.” Tashi swears, throwing herself down next to where you’ve perched yourself on her bed. She was angry about something Art and Patrick had done, as per usual. They’d all been fighting a lot more lately—something about tennis, of course. You tried to pay attention to her rants, but there was only one thing you could take out of them; they didn’t deserve her. Never did, never will.

“You don’t have to be with them, you-”

“Obviously I fucking know that.” She interjects, scowling. “It’s not being with them, I mean— I’m happy most of the time, I guess. It’s just once they start— I don’t know. It’s complicated. Tashi rubs a hand across her face in annoyance, sighing at her own words. Seeing her like this, seeing her with them makes your heart ache. It always hurt watching her skip from guy to guy, telling you stories about how great they were to her until suddenly they weren’t. Art and Patrick were no different, despite them clearly thinking they were.

“You deserve better. You know that, right? You should know that.” You murmur, hand instinctively falling to rest on her knee. “These guys, they never do enough for you. You deserve someone who would burn the world for you.” Tashi scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically.

“Yeah, like who?”

Your grip on her knee tightens. You stay silent, watching her with wide eyes, praying that for once she’d see what's right in front of her—you. Tashi glances at you, breath hitching. The yearning, the desperation on your face, it’s obvious what you’re trying to tell her. 

“Do I have to say it?” You whisper, instinctively leaning closer. Tashi follows your lead, gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear—her hand falling to cup your jaw.

“Can I-”

“Please.” You interject, longing seeping into your tone. She doesn’t waste time, she never does, locking her soft lips with yours. It’s like poetry, your hands running through her hair, Tashi’s reaching your hips, pulling you onto her—every movement you make says something, every action is a conversation. You feel her, truly feel her, her yearning, her hurt, everything she’s ever hidden from you. When her tongue breaches your mouth, you practically melt. Everything you’ve ever wanted, you had in your arms. When you finally have to break apart for air, your hands fall to her sides—gripping her tightly as if she’d disappear if you’d let go.

“How long…” Tashi trails off, tracing shapes across your skin.

“Since we were twelve. Well, probably longer, but that’s when I realized.” You carefully watch her face, clinging to any movement that may show discomfort, but there is none. Her eyes are soft, softer than you’ve ever seen them, and for once in your life you feel seen.

“Are you…?”

“Yes.” Tashi doesn’t hesitate. “I was just scared to say anything.”

“Me too.” You smile softly, reaching to press your lips against hers again, but hesitating. 

“Art and Patrick?” She scoffs, shaking her head quickly. “They don’t matter. They never did, none of them. I’ll break it off tonight if you want me to.” You nod, unable to find the words to express how much you feel for her in that moment. She understands, though. She always has. Your eyes water slightly as you take in the situation—she loves you. Tashi Duncan actually loves you.

“Hey- no, don’t cry. Was it something I said?” Tashi rushes to wipe your eyes, nerves clear on her face.

“No, no, I’m just being stupid. Sorry.” You laugh breathily and push her hand away, grinning like an idiot. “I love you.”

She shakes her head, giggling back at you. “I love you too. Forever and always.”

“Forever and always.”

© epomanias.tumblr 2024. all rights reserved

[skellebonez]

And What If I Think Of You As Family Now?

SPOILERS FOR LEGO MONKIE KID SEASON 4.

In which MK is very lost while contemplating his new form and Macaque tries his best to actually comfort him for once.

This is just a little fic I wrote because I REALLY wanted to explore Monkey MK and what the revelations may mean for MK and Macaque moving forward. I like the idea Mac becomes a very reluctant uncle/big brother figure to MK on accident.

AO3 LINK!

MK poked at his face.

Poked again.

The soft pinkish orange mask that framed his eyes did not come off on his fingers.

He reached his hands over to the side. Pulled on the side burns that now framed his face.

Yeah. Yeah, they were still there.

He pulled the sleeve of his jacket up, looking at the fur that he saw glitch onto his arm multiple times.

It was still there.

"I… think it may be permanent, kiddo," Macaque said behind him. "... color's good on you?"

"What?" MK looked back, staring at the immortal standing behind him in the doorway to the bathroom in confusion.

"Your, uh, your face mark," Macaque continued. It was so obvious to MK that he was feeling as uncertain and awkward as the Monkie Kid was. A far cry from the usual snarky and assured dramatic and theatrical man that MK was used to. "Looks. Good, with your... fur and all that."

MK nodded slowly, turning back to the bathroom mirror to stare at himself again.

He almost couldn't believe he was looking at himself. But it was him. His face was staring back at him. It just.. had a few extra features.

A few... monkey demon features.

This was the first time he had been able to actually get a good look at himself since the... what was it that happened in the scroll? Glitching? Glamour glitching, that's what he thought Macaque called it. He had a glamour on.

He'd... always had a glamour on and he never knew it. Pigsy never knew it. Macaque never knew it. Sun Wukong...

No one knew. No one knew until the ink demon curse had done something to make it crack. Macaque called it an embedded mental glamour, something someone else had to have put on MK since he was born given the strength. Someone had done that to him without him knowing for his entire life.

Someone who no one knew.

Correction. Given his encounter with a certain ancient teacher, MK was pretty damn sure there was ONE person who at least had a guess. But would he actually be forthcoming with the information? Probably not.

The only thing anyone seemed to be forthcoming with lately were their own opinions.

He tried not to think about the fight they were all in only a few hours ago. How Yellowtusk and Peng had come to capture them on orders of the Azure Emperor. Of course Azure Lion would have started to call himself that, when MK looked back on the situation he could see how self-important the man who may have once been his Sworn Uncle thought of himself. That was probably why he sent his Sworn Brothers down to capture them instead of capturing the group himself.

More important things for the new emperor to handle.

He tried not to think about how Yellowtusk made him question who he was and where he came from, tried no to think about how the elephant had questioned where his fur and tail had gone since their last encounter. Yellowtusk, however, hadn't been the problem. He was more muscle then banter, only hitting where it hurt at just the right moment when pointing out how MK's "true form" could have been an asset logically in battle and questioning why he would refuse to use it.

It was Peng that caused his current predicament.

"I know why you're not using it," they had said with the sneer they wore when they hurt his friends in their first meeting. "You don't want us to think of, what? Your mentor?  Brother? Your father?"

MK has screamed that Sun Wukong was not, in fact, his father.

And then.

"Does it really matter? It doesn't change the fact we know what you are. Just like him? You're a MONSTER."

MK didn't know exactly what happened after that. Just that... he changed. The same glitching happened and he felt something shatter and then he just.

Couldn't change back.

At least Yellowtusk and Peng had retreated, so afraid of the burst of power that the shattering of his glamour had let out. MK couldn't help it, it had burst out of him unbidden and sent everyone flying away.

He still felt bad for Nezha, who was standing closest to him outside Peng. But, unlike the bird, he had someone to catch him as he went flying back (MK felt he needed to thank Sandy for being a literal wall of a man). Peng had to be picked up Yellowtusk as he ran, nearly knocked unconscious by being sent into a nearby wall.

The worst part about all of this was that the thing they were trying to get, the artifact they were sure might be the thing to fix the slab... hadn't even worked in the end.

A waste of time that only earned MK more questions and a form he did not feel comfortable in.

He traced the marking around his eyes, noting that the color was… very similar to Sun Wukong’s own…

... Master Subohdi had said he was born of Sun Wukong's rock, but not in the same way... could Peng have been right about them being related in some way?

"Macaque?" MK asked softly. "Is this… who I am? Is this who I really am? Was the other me just… fake?"

"Kiddo, you…" Macaque said with a sigh. "I wasn't ready for an existential crisis, mother of f-"

"Was Peng right?" MK continued. "Am I a monster?"

"NO," Macaque countered instantly. "Bird brain can stuff it, they have no idea what they're talking about. You're MK. Always have been, always will be."

"I only have that nickname because Tang thought it was cute when I would get excited about the Monkey King," MK said with a half-hearted laugh. "That isn't even the name Pigsy gave me."

"Doesn't have to be your given name," Macaque said with a shrug. "You chose it out of all the ones given to you, that means you are MK. Simple as that."

"I guess," MK muttered. He reached up, scratching at his side burns.

They felt so odd against his cheeks. He'd never liked having longer hair for some reason, the feeling of it on his neck and face uncomfortable for him. That was why he kept his hair shorter, pulled up with his headband and the hair gel Tang had introduced him to.

He winched as some kind of chirp came out of his mouth in response to his scratching.

It was only a few months ago that MK had been trying to mimic the chirping of the monkeys on Mount Huaguo. He would have been ecstatic if that sound came out of his mouth then. If he had discovered this form at another moment, long before this.

MK didn't realize he started crying until he looked back up and saw a few tears rolling down his face.

"I… come here, sit on the floor," Macaque said softly, suddenly. He waved his hand, gesturing for the other to follow him.

MK looked at him wearily, unsure of how willing he was to move from his spot in front of the mirror. But eventually he gave in, turning away and leaving the bathroom.

The other sat on the couch, tail thumping on the couch beside him as he gestured to the floor in front of him.

"Back to me, sit however you like."

"Uh... o-ok..." MK said softly in confusion.

He sat down as instructed, his legs crossed comfortably. His tail didn't seem to know exactly where to go, and he didn't blame it, swishing and thumping against the floor in agitation.

"If you get uncomfortable you need to let me know," Macaque said.

MK didn't get the chance to ask him what he meant before the older monkey demon's hands were on his head.

No.

In his hair.

It only took a few seconds for MK to realize what the other was attempting to do, the motions and the way he carefully picked and parted his hair all too familiar. It was something that Sun Wukong had done to him multiple times when he and MK had thought he was just a normal human.

MK's tail slowed down in it's thumping, instead slowing down to swish at his side calmly. He thought he might want to do something about that in the future, the idea of his tail giving so much of his inner emotions away in battle making him concerned. Besides, he would need to learn how to use it properly to grab things and the like anyway.

They sat there for a while, Macaque grooming through his hair and picking out all the dirt and knots leftover from their battle earlier in the day while MK just. Let him. It was odd to remember that Macaque had once been one of his first major enemies. He manipulated MK to steal his powers (though, as explained in a long conversation later, that was not his original plan). He tormented his friends in the shadow play (though he refused to explain why he really let them all go in the end). He'd worked with the Lady Bone Demon (the fact he actually had no choice and was desperately trying to escape her hold on him was picked up by everyone once they thought about the ritual and his actions during it, though Mei's continued distrust of him after that was still validated by everyone whenever she questioned why he was helping them now... even by Macaque, actually).

But now they sat there in Sun Wukong's living room. Where Macaque had just recently had him play a game in his own weird attempt to give him a life lesson. One on the couch and one on the floor.

One would think they had been friends much longer with his comfortable MK was becoming as the hands worked through his hair and removed his headband. He didn't bother to stop the other, not when he felt how carefully he removed it and watched how he carefully folded it on the couch next to him.

"I'm sorry you couldn't have your first proper social grooming session with…" Macaque trailed off, hands stuttering in their movement for just a moment before picking up where they left off.

"It's ok," MK said with a chuckle. "Monkey King did this so much before we found out about all… this that it probably wouldn't feel any different."

"And this does?" Macaque asked tentatively.

"Yeah," MK said with a slight nod. "Like… like I have 2 different brothers doing i-OW! Macaque, what the hell!?"

"Sorry!" The word was said too fast, too loud, foreign in the darker haired monkey's voice. "... I just… didn't expect… I have no idea why you've been so chill with me out of everyone, MK, then you pull out the family comparing card? Brother, really?"

"Would uncle be better?" MK offered smoothly. "Weird estranged uncle that shows up at family reunions."

"THAT'S NOT THE- the point, kiddo…" Macaque trailed off, sighing as he went back to his work.

MK smiled at the lone monkey that always hung around him or Macaque always climbed into his lap, curling up and going to sleep. MK felt his hands itch to groom through his fur, instincts catching up to him. But he didn't want to disturb the little one or do something wrong in accident...

He saw Macaque's tail come around to tap him on the shoulder.

"We'll get him back," Macaque said firmly.

"How do you know?" MK asked.

"He's Sun Wukong," Macaque chuckled, gesturing to the cottage they resided in. "He's gotten himself out of worse than this, that means we can get him back. Besides, would Peng and Yellowtusk have been sent after us if we DIDN'T possibly get close to something Azure thought would work?"

"Maybe," MK admitted with a nod. He looked down, realizing his fingers had started running through the fur on Macaque’s tail as he looked for knots or bugs without even thinking about it. "...thanks for trying to make me feel better."

"Don't think too much about it," Macaque said as he finished his grooming through his hair. "Jeez, MK, how much product do you use in your hair? My hands feel gross."

"I'm sorry for wanting to look COOL," MK countered with a haughty chuckle. "Besides, I picked it up from my... dad."

"Tang?" Macaque inquired.

"Yeah," MK confirmed with a hum. "Feels weird to call him dad and not Mr. Tang. Pigsy and I never really called each other father and son openly until now."

"Things change, kid," Macaque said with a chuckle as he stood up. He made a pointed effort to keep his hands airborne and far away from his clothes.

"Does this mean I should call you Uncle Mac?" MK asked as he stood as well, gently placing the sleeping monkey on the couch. "Or something else?"

"Absolutely neither," Macaque said, his tone light with a chuckle under it. "I'm just Macaque, your not so friendly neighborhood shadow demon. Now I'm gonna wash my hands and get something to eat, I'm starving. You want me to grab you anything before your friends get in here?"

"Pigsy's making us food, you know," MK said with a raise of his brow.

"... he's making you food," Macaque said with a confused tone.

"Us," MK corrected. "You're part of the group, you know."

"... oh," Macaque said in a tone MK didn't know how to place. He had a far off look on his face for a moment, not looking at MK despite looking in his direction, before his eyes widened in some form of surprise. "Uh. Still washing my hands, BYE."

Mk didn't even have the chance to yell out a "wait" before Macaque vanished into a nearby shadow.

"That guy knows how to make an exit," came not even 5 seconds later, Pigsy's voice shocking MK into a yelp.

"How long were you standing there!?" MK asked, hand on his chest. His heart was racing, the relaxing mood from earlier shattered in an instant.

"Since around 'Uncle Mac'," Pigsy answered with a smirk. "You'd probably have more luck callin' him Mac and Cheese with all the walls that guy has up. What were you two doin' in here anyway? You... you good, son?"

"Yeah," MK answered honestly. "Yeah, like I said, I just needed some time to think. Macaque helped me out with that, pulled me out of my head when I started overthinking all... all that stuff from earlier."

"With the bird brain?" Pigsy asked with a snort and a growl. He'd been angry since they came back, since MK changed even. He'd been high-strung and on edge, snipping at everyone that he needed time alone and that time was best spent cooking. Usually Pigsy let his answer out openly, but this quiet anger? This meant he was way more upset than he wanted anyone to know. "When we get our hands on that jerk I'm gonna turn them into fried chicken. Or at least make them think I'm gonna. Then we're gonna get some answers about all... this."

"Do you… would you be less upset if I was a pig demo-"

"NO," Pigsy said instantly. Firmly. "No, MK, that's not what I'm upset about. I'm... I'm sorry if me snapping about wantin' to be alone and all made you think that. I'm not upset you're a monkey or at you. I'm upset you had to find all this out like… like this. I'm upset because my son deserved better than this."

MK didn't realize he was crying again until his dad wiped the tears running down his face away. Until he pulled MK into a hug and tucked his face into his shoulder and let him cry more.

"You deserved to know all this sooner, kid," Pigsy said. "But it doesn't change anything."

"Except that I have fur," MK muttered into Pigsy’s shoulders. "And a tail."

"Not literally, ya doofus," Pigsy said with a chuckle.

The two stood there for a moment, just hugging each other as tightly as they could. It reminded MK of when he was smaller, when he was younger, of when Pigsy would comfort him after a mean kid bullied him for not being able to ride his skateboard as well as the other kids (and now that he thought about it, his balance was way better now that he had a tail... huh).

"Food's ready," Pigsy said after they finally pulled away from each other. "We kinda made up a table outside for everyone to eat together, I just need to grab some stuff from Monkey King's kitchen first. I'll meet you outside."

"OK, dad," MK said with a smile.

~

Pigsy watched as MK rushed outside, ears perked as he listened carefully for the sound of the door to shut and rushing water to turn off.

"You too, 6 Eared Pain In My Ass," Pigsy said with his arms crossed and foot tapping. "MK wasn't lying when he said the food was for you too."

There was silence for a moment and the chef worried that, once again, the shadow monkey had decided to escape an awkward situation of having to interact with the man (who had thrown a spatula at him, to be fair). But he didn't have to wait long, noticing a shadow growing close to the window before Macaque popped himself back out to watch MK reunite with his friends outside.

"... he's a good kid," Macaque said softly. "Almost too good... almost."

"Means I did something right by him," Pigsy said softly. "I... wasn't the perfect dad, but I tried my best."

"Must have worked out somehow," Macaque mused. He was... oddly subdued compared to his normal bombastic nature. "... How... I know it's not the same but like..."

"You wanna know how to be a good guardian," Pigsy said. Not even asked, it was a statement.

"Hate to admit it, but... Kid's grown on me," Macaque said slowly. "He's one of the only people even to try to give me a chance, even if I was a jerk to him. Now I'm worried about him, and... with Wukong gone there isn't anyone to show him the ropes of being one of us."

"Then it sounds like you need to learn how to dad from a dad."

"I am NOT going to be his dad," Macaque snapped instantly. "I would rather he call me UNCLE any day."

"Then I guess Uncle Mac and Cheese better get his ass out to the table and interact with everyone else."

It was so worth seeing the offended look at the immortal's face.

An hour after everyone else went to bed Pigsy found a visitor outside the room he and Tang were sharing, asking him how to cut fruit for his new family member.

[a-s-levynn]

Okay so let's make this post the official start of my 'sleep token stuff' tag for lore ideas and thought exercises and analyses and everything alike.

Originally this went under a wonderful lore discussion post but my addition went off rails and honestly i just wanted this on it's own for me to find it easier later so feel free to ignore it altogether. It's no secret that my probably all time favourite ST song is Higher and no small part of it is the refrain.

This is mostly an in-lore thingie i guess but all of this has a purely human, self reflective read as well but i don't have the mental energy at the moment to expand on that side as well but maybe one day. But the jist of it would be that if you replace Sleep with thoughts or feelings or the "other you" you always promise shit to it makes sense in a whole different very much human level as well. At least it makes sense for me. Maybe i'm just being stupid again.

Anyway here is my short thought exercise on the refrain of Higher. These lines specifically:

With all that you believe You still refuse to shelter me

'Cause I am a danger and you're 

A long way from home you are one among many 

But you're now on your own 

And I hate the way you look at 

Me when I am not understood 

'Cause you can remember only 

When you're alone I am granting you more than 

The debt that I owe

I think this is such a two ways text because it can be read from the viewpoint of Vessel but also Sleep's. Or both at the same time. At least for me. Maybe it's just me having a brainfry again but here is my thought process on it:

"With all that you believe You still refuse to shelter me" - They both belive the other is what they need. But on Vessel's part he might feel like Sleep does not gives him what he thinks he want's or needs. On Sleep's part, Vessel might not accepted Sleep in a way Sleep wanted or doesn't go exactly the way about things as Sleep expected at first. So in neither case a "shelter" is created. Not in a way originally imagined. It may and probably did happen anyway just not how it was originally expected by either of them. Because they want kind of the same but in wastly different ways. Sleep needs the safety of having followers, to be knkwn, to be strong again, to be worshipped. Vessel want's something that a human consideres a safe place. So they want the same but not the same. And the human and divine understanding cannot be aligned perfectly. But they try. Doesn't always work, especially on Vessel's end but they still believe the other can do what they agreed on but doubt is there in the corner because it doesn't happen the originally expected way. But they do believe in the other.

"I am a danger" - on Sleep's part it's fairly obvious with the whole ancient being stick. On Vessel's part tho.. he is a danger because the human element always has some unpredictibility to it. It could bring some unforseen sideffects to Sleep's plans and who knows how much a once all powerful beeing handles not being in perfect control. Maybe the unknown is scary to Sleep in a way as well in this weakened state. And that gives an edge to Vessel, however small that may be.

"you're a long way from home you are one among many but you're now on your own" - on Vessel's part this could refer to him leaving behind his life, his home to follow Sleep's call. This includes friends, family, essentially transferring from being 'one among many' to 'being on your own' in an unknown situation. Or just simply being a lonely human being who is completely alone no matter how many people are around him because since Sleep came into his life, no one really understands him. I kinda like this second version because of a later line in this verse. On Sleep's part it very well may have been the case that there was or still is a larger pantheon somewhere beyond. And for reasons it shatterred, faded or just some clashing happend or whatever other reason, but Sleep ended up here alone, so much more close to the human world which is very much an unknown to a being that never really experienced humanity in this way but mayhaps only through worship before, from far far away.

"I hate the way you look at me when I am not understood" - on Sleep's part is just that as a deity, does not communicate in conventional ways and Vessel might not understand correctly what is expected of him at all times. On Vessel's part it can be twofold again. First when he asks, requests or says something of/from Sleep and it's misunderstood or not understood at all because divine-human comprehension can and probably has dissonances. Also it could refer to Sleeps disapproval or bafflement over Vessel being misunderstood by other people, let it be friends/family or the world in general. (This could very well tie into being alone among many. Being misunderstood.)

" 'Cause you can remember only when you're alone I am granting you more than the debt that I owe" - Sleep and Vessel are the only ones who can understand their situation as a whole. They are the only one's for each other, everyone else (even the other vessels -tho probably for a higher degree of understanding than others- can only try to comprehend what this connection entails. And it only goes beyond the strictness of the original pact formed, when the two are alone. They probably have a different bond because there is a deeper understandig, given Vessel is the main conduit. And if Sleep's power is channelled through him, he probably had glimpses into Sleep's thoughts and desires and more and vica versa and at some point decided they may give each other even more for some reason only fully know to them. We usually only focus on Vessel owing a debt to Sleep because Sleep raised him form the dark, the obscurity but there is also a debt on Sleep's side. Because without a vessel he can't achieve what he want's(followers) especially not to this magnitude and speed. And Vessel choosing to do Sleep's bidding and may even going beyond the initial agreement creates kind of a debt on Sleep's part as well. But these additional gifts and givings are only happening when there is only the two of them. It's theirs and no one else's.

Again if we assume Sleep is a metaphor or a kind of personification of certain human elements, than all this gets so phylosophical and taps into the human psyche in a way that is kind of delicious and definitely interesting. But not today or not by me.

And i'm still not sure where i wanted to go with this, it's more of an exploration of ideas sparked by lyrics in regards of lore and how lyrics can be read different ways maybe, than anything serious really.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment 2024 part "that was close"

I guess I shouldn't call each of these days because they are half days.

10-2, slept on my stomach, well, until a building chest pain woke me and I just barely rolled over before the crushing chest pain started. Had to wiggle my left arm around hard to get the cramping sensation to back off. It's definitely my heart and I have been to the doctors so many times about it and the hospital, but they can't detect the usual immune response to a clot, so they won't take me seriously.

So I guess even if I sleep on my stomach I can't do it with my left side lower than my right side, I have to be turned to the left slightly so my right side is lower.

Something interesting has been happening with my dreams the longer I am away from people.

The longer I no longer live with or around people the more:

-My dreams feature people off youtube or other media

-People don't suck anymore in my dreams they actually act helpful and rational

I'm used to dreams that run from "literally what I am going to do the next day" to "a disturbingly accurate prediction that the next time you have to call a doctor or 911 or even your mother, you won't be taken seriously no matter how dire the situation is." And in all of it people ignore obvious problems [like my chest cavity being open and all my organs being missing except my heart that won't beat right], or are outright petty and weird at me when I am just trying to accomplish a *dream task*TM...

The longer I don't have to interact with people all day, the more -when obstacles come up in the dream like needing groceries or a government conspiracy- someone I recognize from somewhere actually shows up and is actually a competent and helpful ally.

So I had a dream where a government team was trying to capture everyone in a building to forcefully inject them with something, and Laura of youtube shows up like we're old friends, helps me get to the door, and is the get-away driver... I'm not used to having help.

Anyway I got up and made myself put the cookie dough in the oven before it goes bad.

IG the other bright side to the sleep slots being scheduled to start after 10 am or over 12 hours before, is that if I don't sleep well in either of them, or need to sleep in, I can and it doesn't run into another time slot that i need to have daily. I can let my brain be normal about sleeping from 10-2 during the day and completely **normal** about sleeping some time after 6pm, when I actually get sleepy, and the variance of the night shift may never actually impact the 10 am bedtime, because I have at least 5 waking hours before it.

I am going to figure out the closest possible thing I can to regular sleep that my body is capable of.

If you are wondering why I didn't try this before... I did, multiple times, over and over, constantly while I was working and repeatedly since, but I have always had to live around other people, and the ways they impact my health, and the ways they do things like treat me sleeping during the day as something I shouldn't be doing 'anyway' and that needs to be corrected, or that they don't have to be respectful of.

I am finally getting to test what I can do to manage my health when left almost completely to my own devices.

Having people around, for other people, means support or reminders or someone to notice if you haven't eaten, or if you fell etc... for ME it NEVER meant any of that, it just meant more demands on my time and more interruptions. I know living with other people can be indispensable for some people with autism or adhd, but I was getting all the drawbacks and none of the benefits, so I am not surprised things are going better now.

The dreams though, getting coloured in by my objective expectations of humanity in general instead of being shaded by my lived experiences... That's unexpected.

Ooh also if I sleep too flat on my stomach I drool on my pillow, not used to that either. Never used to do that.

[privatebooth]

I’m catching up on Tumblr posts and I missed all of this! Are you looking for expressions to convey through the art? I suppose mine would be the first time Hawke tells Fenris he loves him and how Fenris might react, whether it’s shock or awe or even disbelief. What is love, to Fenris, anyway?

Just want to say, if you have more ideas, please don't be shy, and send them my way :) I'm so lonely and nobody wants to talk to me

Gave it some thought, and in the end realised that I already have something pretty much exactly about it! What is love for either of them, indeed? I'm sorry it's going to turn into custom character rambling, but I did provide you with a picture)

Guess you'll find some depressing take on the subject of family codependency, behind the cut

I love you. I myself am not fond of how much weight and importance is put into this.

May just be my very personal experience, but the phrase itself is pretty useless to me. I get that people use it to make a point and communicate their intentions and relationships, but. It doesn't work for me.

One of the things that make fenhawke so special to me, is that they don't try to conform to this norm. Neither of them ever says these words in canon. Should probably be obvious, but I don't think Fenris would ever use them to convey his feelings. Knowing his background and the experience he has with human relationships... He found a way to show his love (stole it from Zevran, but that's on David Gaider!)

It might come as disapointment to some, but my Hawke wouldn't say it either. It's a thing for normal people, and he is not. He never expected to have a normal life.

The realisation of it came to him when his father gave him a serious talk. Garrett had a girlfriend. They were close friends and shared many interests, but he could never be fully honest with her and risk endangering his family.

When the relationship became sexual (young people with their hormones and all), Malcolm approached him and did his best to explain to his son the situation. The girl he had feelings for was good and all, but would she want a life like this? She could get pregnant. The child could be a mage. Running and hiding, being ready to move away if something happened? Was he ready to face the concequences? Garrett figured that that girl, for all her fascination with adventurous stories and what not, wanted a simple peaceful uneventful village life and a normal family.

He cared about her and didn't want to put such a burden on her. Also, they were not that crazy about each other to be blinded by love like Hawke's parents. Garrett knew their story and what his mother had to leave behind to be with his father. He didn't want it to get this far, so he chose to break up with the girl, amicably. Not sure what had been said, but he got distant, accepting that his family were the only people he could truly rely on. They were the ones who would always support and protect him, and help him solve any problems, no matter what. That's what family does. For the sake of this family, he must keep his secret.

Ugh, this is getting depressing and a bit disturbing, sorry. But don't worry, Garrett met someone later with whom he could be a bit more open about some things. It didn't last long, but it brought some relief and happiness to both parties.

The point of it all is that your family will always be on your side and will choose you above all else.

A simple I love you just doesn't cut it.

[mermer404]

just a wild guess /gen: i think people are mad at audible because they are only acknowledging israel and not both israel and palestine at the very least?

also “tragic events in the middle east” is how audible phrased it. not OP.

it’s entirely tone deaf to give 6 months of free books in the first place when people are literally dying. but the overarching problem is also that audible chose to not speak up on the genocide happening nor chose to at least promote palestinian literature.

it’s less about dehumanising israelis and more about the obvious favouritism, y’know?

also, as admirable as the link for donations to the red crescent, it’s not of much use to palestinians right now because there are blockades places and they cannot receive any aid or relief. in fact, hospitals in palestine as of right now, are not even able to treat their patients. and, the banks are destroyed so there is no way for anyone to withdraw money in gaza (as reported by journalists on site)

would be much more helpful if you shared links to ceasefire petitions and BDS-approved boycott lists that directly fund the IDF.

tbh i feel like even israelis should boycott audible that was such performative activism from them.

Hi anon!

I'm responding to this because you're genuine and you're polite, which I appreciate. So many people don't bother with human decency, I want to acknowledge it. You are a person just like me trying real hard just like me and I want to send you my appreciation rather than ignore you.

However, I feel like you missed my point entirely. Maybe some time I will go over it point by point in detail with sources and shit, because you seem a decent person and maybe we could have an actual conversation, but we are it seems on very different pages and putting us on the same page would be a lot of work. A lot of what you said is misleading or only part of the picture, but I am very very tired and very sad, I can't do this right now. People I know have died and my heart aches. You understand that, I hope. Talking about this just makes me sadder. Can only do a little bit at a time, you know?

In short:

In case that wasn't clear: what is happening in Palestine (to avoid the "SiTuAtiON 😐" lingo it's being bombed and invaded, thousands of people are dead, probably tens of thousands even, most civillians and many children) is deeply deeply sad and upsetting. A dead child is a dead child and I am angered and hurt by it just the same. Civilian death is sad no matter what side they are on.

I am not your enemy. Our relationship may be complicated, but in many ways we are allies.

It is tone deaf but I didn't expect better from Amazon. This is a stupid publicity trick, it's pathetic. I did — god have pity on my poor soul — expect better from fellow leftists. This "😐" is the exact same patronizing indifference, done in the most stupid passive-aggressive way, that's the shit I'm talking about. This is how they talk about us, if not much worse.

I don't know how into social media you are, but if you've noticed: people talk a lot about Palestine (which again, is important) but they do not mention, not in one word in their dozens of posts on the topic, what happened on October 7th. If you get a lot of your info on social media, maybe you didn't know about it either. I empathize with what you are saying, I feel that kind of pain on my skin, because those same people are doing that to us. When people were being burned alive in their homes, children abused and shot, girls raped to the point of their bodies breaking, these same people were silent. I understand what you are talking about, deeply. Many of these people are upset when companies or celebraties do this kind of one sided thing and then go on to do the same to Israelis. When my people were dying, terribly, in horrific ways, they turned a blind eye, and that hurt, deeply. Especially as a Jewish person.

Donations do not only "get stuck" situationally, they are for the most part pocketed by Hamas, have been for years. It's one of the most rich terrorist organizations in the world, and a lot of it is money from people like you. The red crescent is one of the very few more reliable charities. I do unironically hope people donate — but they probably won't. This was meant to highlight the entire bullshitery of the situation. I'm well aware donations can be of little use. It's much more use than any of this garbage, though.

The BDS are a shitty antisemitic organization and I am kindly discouraging you from supporting them. I was going to link why they are shitty and antisemitic + peace organizations and charities you can participate and donate to instead but honestly I am so tired and I just want to cry. Do your own research. You got this.

Israelis' friends and family are dead. They are crying and aching while people here type away. Even with that, many are doing incredible amounts of activism — making food, donating clothes, delivering it all to the hundreds of thousands of people who've been forced to leave their homes near the borders. This is just one example. They are doing so much more than boycotting Amazon, which is honestly, excuse my french, a shitty lazy pathetic form of activism, that is basically what my post was about. People have been focusing on boycotts and random internet bullshit on Twitter instead of what really matters. Even the calls for ceasefire — Hamas have never in the history of its existence withheld a ceasefire agreement, and 240 civilians, 30 of them children, are still held hostage. Activism from the international pro-Palestine movements has been often useless, simplistic, ignorant and sometimes straight up violent. Just a few days ago a man was killed in a pro-Palestine protest. I don't want to discourage activism, quite the opposite. But people are so shit at it, meanwhile my people here and my brothers & sisters over the border are dying. Do you understand my frustration?

If this is what works for you I get that. The world is shit and you do anything to get a sense of control back. But I've lost too much and ache too much to have any time, energy or respect for the kind of bullshit these people have been up to.

If this is too harsh, or hurt your feelings, I am sorry. Again, the way I see it, you are my ally and I am yours. I hope you understand what I am saying and know my heart is with you. I hope your heart is with me, too.

Thank you for caring. Stay safe.

[paganwitchisis]

The Unexpected Adventure Chapter 2

Chapter 2: A Learning Experience

Word Count: 5,980

Rated: Explicit

RATED 18 PLUS!!!

Chapter 1 - here

Chapter 2 - you're here

Chapter 3 - here

AO3 link - here

Warnings: Smut, Smut and fluff, body swap, brief snippet of violence (fight), unknown pregnacy, protective and soft Astarion, blood (drinking)

WARNING SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER

Once inside, Astarion locked the door, and as different as it was, he leaned forward and kissed Tav who held her stomach and chest like she was injured. “I’m sorry. I know it’s jarring to wake up a corpse with eternal hunger. You're used to warmth and a heart that beats.”

“It’s certainly quite the adjustment. It’s a good thing I know your body so well, honey.” Tav attempted to find humor in the situation. “At least I’m in one handsome body.” Tav smiled awkwardly due to the fangs she was unused to.

“That you are. I didn’t realize how lucky you were until today. Gods, am I hot!” Astarion commented with a chuckle and light humor “But seriously, can I do anything to help, my dear?”

Tav readied herself to speak when the door was softly knocked upon. Scowling in Tav’s body (Which Tav thought gave her a hilarious face), Astarion got up and answered their door.

Surprisingly, it was Gale on the other side of the door.

“Ta…er…I mean Astarion, we may have a lead and we thought it would be best if you both were there.” Gale rationalized while looking away, unwilling to believe the circumstances the party was thrown into. It was no secret the wizard still desired Tav even with the obvious nature of Astarion and Tav’s relationship.

“How did you get a lead so soon? It isn’t like swapping bodies is a normal occurrence.” Astarion asked, annoyed. He’d much rather be attending to Tav than speaking to the wizard.

“Exactly. It isn’t normal, so when we spoke to the innkeeper downstairs, he pointed us towards another wizard in town. Apparently, they are here temporarily. Something about them attending because of another wizard named Lorroakan. You remember, the brat in the tower we killed who was after the Nightsong?”

“Obviously,” Astarion snapped. “So how can a wizard help us?”

“Astarion… It is only a lead. We won’t know much until we go to see them. They’re at the Rainforest Home when they aren’t at Sorcerous Sundries.” Gale informed Astarion who was frustrated until he felt an arm reach around his waist. Thankfully, Tav made noise as she walked, since she had yet to pick up on his stealth abilities, otherwise it would have startled the ex-vampire.

“This is so weird.” Tav commented on her embrace of her own body “Gale, we’d love to come with, but we are still… Acclimating. Give us a few hours, and we’ll join. It is still fairly early in the day, anyways.” Tav said in Astarion’s body. With that, Astarion closed the door on Gale’s face, not bothering to hear a reply.

“You know, we’ve got to work on your people skills.” Tav joked and made her way back to the bed. “I guess we need to get out of our armor, huh? Probably could do with a bath too, to be honest… I mean… Not saying you need it, honey, but… I mean, if you want to get one since it is your body, and…”

“Tav,” Astarion said as he then kissed himself to stop Tav from rambling. He thought it would be more difficult than this to show physical emotion when switching bodies, but it really wasn’t. Both of them were attractive people, in his opinion, and kissing her still felt right. “While we are…like this, my body is now yours, and I trust you with it. We’re both intimately familiar with each other, so it should be fairly easy for us to get used to certain… Aspects of this. Now, with the vampirism, I will need to help you. I’m sure drinking blood may be a little off-putting if we are like this for long, for example. Unfortunately, the pain will stay, and you will be hungry often, if not always. No matter how much blood you drink,… It… Can be a lot.”

“Is this what you normally feel?” Tav asked as she struggled to get his light armor off until Astarion came over and helped her, Tav repaying the kindness by helping him with her own armor on his new body.

“Do I usually feel hungry? My stomach clenching in pain because there is nothing I can eat or drink that can quell it for long? Yeah.” Astarion began to nervously chuckle “It was worse, actually, before the tadpole. The wriggling friend of ours seems to have diluted that, along with my strength, though. Regarding whether or not I feel cold, I grew numb to that about two or three decades in. It takes getting used to.”

Astarion could tell that Tav wasn’t too happy with his reply, but he merely told her the truth. It was nice for once, to not be in pain and to not feel death’s chilled hand upon your throat. Of course, that second part he wouldn’t tell her. He didn’t want her to act out of guilt, and he knew the cogs were working in her… Well, his head, as they spoke.

“Do I always smell so good? And everything is so loud! Is that my heartbeat?” Tav asked as she struggled with the vampiric condition.

Astarion chuckled. “Yeah, you do smell good, but what you’re smelling is blood. It’s going to take some time to get used to, but the enhanced hearing is something you acclimate to. You hear your heartbeat now, but imagine in the companion room. All those hearts, the blood flow, and I mean everything will be able to be picked up. You’ll know when someone is lying or when they are aroused.” Astarion smirked at the shocked expression Tav responded with.

“How do you do it?”

“Darling, I had two hundred years to get that under control. Don’t expect to be in control of the vampirism in a matter of hours.” Astarion hated that he had to have this conversation with Tav. He hated his condition was causing her pain or grief. He hated that she now knew the full extent of his plight and he worried that could change the dynamic of their relationship.

No.

Not Tav. Never Tav. She would always love and trust him no matter how insane the reason. That was one of the many reasons Astarion fell so completely for her.

“Astarion? You there?” Tav gently prodded with a hand on her body’s cheek. Touch usually guided him back if done the right way, Tav had learned early on. A hug or a gentle touch to a safer area usually helped him focus on the present.  

“Huh?… Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, dear, daydreaming for a moment.” Astarion wasn’t ready to show more of his vulnerability at the moment. Instead, he took her lips, or rather kissed his own, and tenderly pressed against her. Astarion had to pull away, considering they only had a few hours to get used to themselves before being thrown into another mission.

“Daydreaming? What about? This must be different for you, too.” Tav asked out of curiosity. 

 Astarion didn’t have to think long before he came up with a half-truth. He was always curious, and now he could finally act on it.

“Food. Gods, what I wouldn’t give for some strawberries.”

Tav smiled and took Astarion’s hand after grabbing Astarion’s daggers and attaching them back on the body she was borrowing. “let’s go fix that, shall we? Maybe a glass of wine will calm this stomach for a bit, too.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. You’re like a newborn vampire. Any amount of blood, regardless of the source, and you will…”

“How is it different than when we go out to get our situation sorted out? I can’t stay here the entire time, Star.” Tav rebutted as she cut him off. Astarion thought for a moment and shook his head.

“Fine, but only because I’m with you. I know the signs, and with our tadpoles, you can communicate with me if things become too hard without making it obvious.” Astarion sternly stated. He was looking forward to eating, but he would never put her in danger over something like this.

 The couple made their way downstairs, and thankfully found the establishment mostly empty. It was still early, so it was possible the lunch crowd had simply not descended on them yet. It was fortuitous since the scant noise in the tavern was already giving Tav a headache. All of the noise was worse than in the room, but Tav wouldn’t let it beat her. The couple sat down at the bar, and Astarion found himself overwhelmed with the options before him. When he couldn’t eat, it was much simpler. Now? He wanted to try everything, but he also wanted to respect Tav and her body. He was sure a stomach ache was not what he had in mind if he overindulged.

Seeing his plight, Tav placed her hand on Astarion’s thigh under the table at the bar and asked; “Do you want some suggestions?”

“Please.” Astarion requested while being oddly shy about the his current state of affairs.

“Innkeeper, can we please have these?” Tav pointed to the roast chicken and stew combo. Tav had a suspicion Astarion would love to have protein but she wasn’t done yet. “Oh! And this!” Tav pulled a napkin out and wrote on it instructions before sliding it to the innkeep. Astarion tried to peek, but his eyesight wasn’t what it used to be. It was more dull than before, but then again his partner wasn’t an elf and the vampirism used to enhance his senses.

“You realize these are out of season?” The man replied to her paper instructions.

“Yeah, but I’ll pay well. Either I pay you a chunk of coin for them or I find someone who will.” Tav replied. The man seemed offended, but wasn’t going to pass up the chance to make more gold. He scoffed and left to get the original order, and when he placed it down, Tav handed him five hundred gold out of her money. She wasn’t about to dig in Astarion’s pockets and have him pay for her surprise. The man seemed pleased to hold the medium filled bag of gold and left them alone as he set on his task.

Meanwhile, Astarion could smell the food, and based off the pain in his stomach, he could guess Tav never ate breakfast. Of course, that isn’t because Astarion didn’t remind her, he was always trying to find ways to take care of his lover, and anything he could do, he would. He didn’t care if it was massaging her shoulders after a hard fight, or doing anything else to bring her comfort. ‘Her job was difficult enough’, he surmised, as she had to bring everyone together and make the hard decisions. At least in privacy, he could be the one to take care of her. Astarion took a tentative bite as Tav watched of his chicken. Astarion felt like there was an explosion of flavor in his mouth, which was of stark contrast to the ash he would taste while still a vampire. Tav, meanwhile, ordered wine from the bartender as the innkeeper was still not back. It made Astarion wonder what she wrote down, however his thoughts and his focus was zeroed in on the food he was consuming. Every bite was something new. Astarion knew he was going to miss this when he returned to his body, but damn, did the reprieve feel great. To be warm, to have a heartbeat, and to live for the first time in centuries was a blessing. It just was unfortunate his lover had to experience the opposite of his situation.

“I..well, technically you, have a full bladder.” Tav whispered as she put the glass of wine down. “Anything I should know before I go take care of this?” Tav was normally very proud and headstrong and yet in this, she was coy. This made Astarion smirk.

“You know my body almost as well as I do, my love.” Astarion chuckled “Just aim and shoot. Well… That, and don’t shake it too much after you’re done. You don’t want an erection… At least not when I can’t help you with it.” Astarion was smiling now at the thought of what they could do with these delicious new bodies, but of course, that thought would have to wait. Maybe if they got the chance later, they could indulge. After all, they were both beautiful people. Right now, however, Tav was fidgeting in her seat, and Astarion couldn’t pull himself away from the food if he tried.

Tav kissed Astarion on the forehead and politely excused herself to use the bathroom, while Astarion ate his fill. After about five minutes or so, Tav returned with a contemplative look on her face. Astarion could feel his smirk grow as he waited for her to sit down.

“So… How did it go?” Astarion teased

“I’m jealous. It is so easy for men to pee compared to being a woman.”  Tav huffed out while Astarion couldn’t help his full belly laugh.

“Well, I guess I’ll find out if the day drags too far on, then.” Astarion shook his head hoping he wouldn’t have to deal with more complex natural bodily urges. If Tav got her cycle, or worse, had to use… The facilities, in another regard, he would be lost on what to do since he doesn’t remember being in a body that consumed food, nor was he proficient in what she needed to do during her monthly visitor.

While Astarion ate and Tav drank her wine slowly, Astarion was aware of a small petite woman coming their direction from the open door of the Elfsong. Of course Astarion never met this woman but was taken aback by this determined face she wore. Tav, as per usual, was oblivious. Astarion kept an eye on her as he ate and saw she was staring at his body.

‘Great. Another one of those.’ Astarion thought to himself as he thought of the men and women who he could seduce without moving a muscle. He just didn’t realize until that day how handsome he was to see why he was so sought after in taverns and pubs they visited. Astarion would tell them off, but never really needed to once he and Tav got serious. He would just show some public display of affection and they would look away. Astarion thought that would be enough to protect Tav from this woman, but he soon found he was wrong.

Tav was a little surprised to feel Astarion place a hand on her thigh, and in between eating, he leaned over and kissed her deeply. Of course, Tav wasn’t aware of the woman who watched them, but noticed something was up with her lover.

“You okay?” Tav asked and placed a hand on his cheek as she was a little worried. Instead of a reply from her loverm the sound of someone’s throat being cleared became apparent.

Tav looked away one moment and looked at the person in question. The person was close… Too close. The woman was within Tav’s personal space and caging Tav against the bar even which made Tav frown. Who did they think they were? Tav saw that this woman looked very attractive. She had long blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and a thin figure. She held curves where she needed them, and larger breasts than Tav normally had. She was slightly tan, a high elf in full makeup and obviously she was aiming to get something out of Tav, but Tav couldn’t figure out what. This was until the woman spoke and Tav remembered that everyone saw her as Astarion.

“Hey handsome, what brings you here?”

Tav was surprised for a moment until Astarion cut in.

“If you don’t mind, this is a private conversation.” Astarion hissed out while not looking too ferocious as he was in Tav’s body. The woman ignored Astarion and turned her back to Astarion, still caging Tav in against the bar.

“It’s a bit noisy here. Why don’t we grab a booth somewhere a little more… Secluded? Leave this tart, and we can see what I have to offer…”

Tav put her hands up in an effort to have something between her and this random woman, but her anger festered under the facade.

“This ‘tart’ as you put it, is more important to me than you’ll ever know. You can’t offer anything that I don’t already have with her,” Tav caught herself to make sure she was using the right pronoun. “Now go fuck off, you hussy.” Tav snapped at the woman. Tav was not in the mood to deal with this situation. She was hungry, she was cold, and she didn’t want to have to kill a woman for coming onto her significant other. Tav felt honored that Astarion trusted her to protect and take care of his body, and she would be damned if she would betray that trust.

Astarion smirked at Tav’s shutdown of the situation and her words. It made him feel warm and seen to be with Tav, and he wasn’t referring to her body heat. When Tav declared her love publicly, it never failed to make him feel safe and cared for with her. Of course, these feelings were all new to him and he only just started accepting them, but he knew he always felt complete with Tav… No matter what body she was currently inhabiting.

“Ass! You don’t have to be a jerk!” The woman snapped but Tav just laughed. Unfortunately, that may have been the wrong thing to do, as it flashed Astarion’s fangs briefly, something the woman noticed.

“I… I’m going to go over there….I….I’m sorry bout the mix up” the woman stuttered and backed up slowly. Astarion noticed immediately why there was the sudden change in demeanor.

“Shit.” Astarion got up to handle the situation when a large red tiefling woman grabbed the scuff of her clothing and hoisted the belligerent woman in the air.

“Oi! I’ve been watching you. You give my friends any grief, and I’ll make sure the Fists can’t find any of your parts left.” The woman was shaking her head ‘no’, and squeaking out how she would tell no one and she was just mistaken.

With that, Karlach tossed the woman aside who ran promptly away. Astarion sighed in relief as Karlach joined them.

“I hope the bimbo wasn’t a problem. Kind of hard to miss, actually. Figured you’d both welcome some help,” Karlach mentioned before adding on “Had to do that bit a lot as a bodyguard in the Hells and even the bastard who sold me. I’d much rather help you both out, though. You both okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Astarion? Are you alright?” Tav answered while eyeing the entrance suspiciously.

“Yeah… It’s just jarring.”

“Thank you, Karlach, for the help.” Tav said in Astarion’s body and voice. It was very off putting to hear Astarion say thank you even if it was technically Tav saying it. Karlach just laughed and replied.

“Anything for you, Soldier...or should I say Fangs?” Karlach continued to laugh as she walked away.

Tav was going to speak to Astarion when the man she spoke to earlier returned.

“Hello, sir. I have what you asked for.” The man sighed and held out in his hand a square box. Tav took the box and thanked the man before grabbing Astarion’s hand and retreating back to their room. Astarion was confused but followed his lover all the same. Astarion smiled as he held her hand...or rather his own, but it was nice to share such a moment with the person he cared for.

Tav locked the door behind them and excitedly smiled at Astarion.

“I have a gift for you!”

“I saw. Five hundred gold, too. What did you buy?” Astarion asked curiously.

Tav grinned more, the smile reaching her eyes as she handed the box over to Astarion.  Astarion tentatively took the box and opened it to be hit with a sweet aroma. It was a fruity and sweet smell that Astarion felt like he smelt before. Long ago before he became a vampire. Astarion looked down and saw triangular shaped red fruit with a leaf at the base end.

They were strawberries.

Astarion could feel himself salivate at the thought and the smell of the confection. Astarion wasted no time bringing the red part of the fruit to his lips and taking a bite. It was beyond anything he had ever tasted before. If he thought the stew and chicken were good, then strawberries were divine. Astarion moaned and sat on the bed with his eyes closed. Astarion slowly chewed the food, enticing every drop of liquid to be expelled from the fruit before he swallowed.

“This is better than sex…” Astarion eventually blurted out after eating half the box of fruit.

“Better than sex? I guess I have to remind you how good that feels… If you want to, of course.” Tav attempted to be seductive, but one laugh from Astarion and she knew it wasn’t that great of acting in the new body. Tav began to laugh, too, but Astarion put the box down to the side and kissed her.

“Darling, I am very eager to see what that would be like, but first, you need to eat.” Astarion smirked and crawled on the bed a little to nestle between her legs. Astarion tossed Tav’s hair to the side and bared his neck. Tav couldn’t help her hunger as her mouth seemed to froth and foam at the mouth with saliva. She was already passively in pain due to her hunger, but if it could be abated, she would find that very welcoming.

“I can’t… I don’t know how much to take! I may kill you!”

“It’s sweet of you to be concerned, but I can get your attention. Worst case? I have my dagger on me and can do something superficial. I would like to think you won’t force me to use that option, my dear.”

“How… ow do I…?” Tav was confused but Astarion guided his body and head to the correct place on her neck and lowered her head.

“Open up and just swallow. When I get your attention, you just have to lick the wound to close it. Now, push down, my love, and enjoy.” Astarion mentioned as he braced himself for the pain of being bitten, but the pain was substantially less that what he remembered Cazador’s fangs were like. Tav punctured his flesh with a slight pop, her moan hitting his ears a moment later. Tav was given a moment or two before Astarion tapped on her shoulder and she pulled away, remembering to lick the wound first.

“Gods, you taste so fucking good. That was so sweet, rich, creamy and smooth, like a well aged wine or chocolate.”

“You did good, pulling away when I said to. Most newborns don’t have the strength to do that.” Astarion praised Tav, who seemed proud of that fact. “And about the blood? Do you see why I love drinking from you?” Astarion chuckled.

“I also have a problem. This is… Well… Awkward.” Tav would have blushed if she could as she gazed down and looked at the first hard-on she had in his body. “I feel like I need you. I really need you.”

Astarion smirked. “I suspected this would happen. Normally I’d take care of it on my own… Well, until we killed him. Since my rebirth, we’ve been at it like rabbits, so I never needed to hide my erection from you, not that you would have had an issue before our trip to the graveyard. I just wasn’t ready then, but now?” Astarion referred to Cazador like a vile poison he wanted to spit out of his mouth. “Let me help you get undressed.”

Astarion began unlacing Tav’s trousers, but he didn’t have the dexterity that he was used to and grew more and more frustrated at his inability to unlace her pants. Tav had to help him in the end as he was about to take a dagger to the laces.

“You need to relieve this.” Astarion huskily murmured as he was able to shimmy Tav out of the trousers and her underwear. Her cock jutted proudly at attention, a bead of Tav’s natural lubrication sat on the tip.

“Isn’t this masturbation?” Tav asked sarcastically.

Astarion laughed and replied. “Maybe, darling, but we both need to have clear heads to solve this issue,” Astarion replies “Plus, I’ve been dying to find out what these bodies feel like to have pleasure in. To know what these feel like.” Astarion fondled his own chest earning a low moan. “They’re so sensitive.”

“Let me help, then.” Tav began to undo Astarion’s pants while Astarion pulled at her shirt. Once the laces were free, Tav sat up and tossed her shirt to the side, pulling Astarion’s trousers down to his ankles. Meanwhile, Astarion had stripped his shirt, but was struggling with the bra until Tav came to his rescue yet again.

“I don’t get it. I am dexterous! This shouldn’t happen!”

“Maybe your body is dexterous, but mine is not. My body is built for a fighter build, honey.” Tav mentioned before taking his lips. Astarion kicked his pants and underwear off as they partook in each other. Astarion moaned when he tasted the blood on her lips, the taste was different than he remembered, but that didn’t matter to him. Tav took things a step further and deepened the kiss. They may have their bodies switched, but to Astarion and Tav? They didn’t feel like they changed bodies while they kissed each other. Everything felt normal, natural, and oh so delicious. Tav pulled back, and lightly nudged Astarion, asking him to lay down. Astarion couldn’t help how wet he was getting. Just the thought of what they would be doing made him want to clench his legs in an attempt to find relief for the deep ache inside of him. It was a surreal feeling, but one that Astarion understood well. It was desire. Astarion laid down and watched as Tav, using his body, crawled over him and took his lips again. Astarion could feel the erection against his thigh, as he instinctively thrust his hips towards Tav in an effort to find some kind of relief to the need he had, any kind of relief. Tav chuckled and began to kiss his jaw, his neck and his collarbone. She quickly made her way to his breasts and she took her tongue, giving his nipple a flick with the tip of the appendage. Tav clamped her lips over the nipple and swirled her tongue around the areola and nipple, earning a loud moan from Astarion. Astarion pushed his chest against her to get as close as possible to the pleasure she was giving him.

Tav spent a few more minutes lavishing attention on his rose bud before switching to the other. Astarion was very vocal as Tav massaged the breasts, licked and sucked on them and drove him mad with want.

“Please! Stop teasing me.” Astarion begged. Tav pulled back and smirked, then without kissing her way south, Tav skipped kissing Astarion’s stomach (or rather it was her stomach) and sank to the junction of Astarion’s thighs. Tav spread Astarion’s leg’s further and pulled the labia apart. Astarion swallowed hard, scared and excited in equal measure. Tav took a long lick up the center, from cleft to clit.

Astarion’s stomach clenched, pulling Astarion’s upper half off the bed slightly and momentarily.

“FUCK!” Astarion cursed, lowering his hand to the back of Tav’s head to encourage her to continue. Tav licked her lips and noted how although she tasted different, she was still sweet, and so Tav dove back in. Tav knew her body well so when she began her onslaught, she had to hold his body down on the bed. Tav began to twist her tongue and lap at the hidden pearl at the top of the vagina, sucking and varying the kind of licks and pressure on the clitoris. Astarion was loud, which was unheard of for the vampire. He usually was so well composed and so good at doing so. When Tav thought Astarion was building towards his crest, Tav slipped two fingers inside of Astarion whose legs trembled.

“I’m so close. Gods, this is unreal! This is so. Fucking. Good!” Astarion enunciated the last few words separately as he focused on his breathing. Tav curled her fingers looking for the small patch of flesh that was rougher to the touch and brushed against it several times.

This unraveled Astarion who screamed out Tav’s name in orgasm.

Tav could feel the contracting muscles, the throb and pulling inside where her finger sat. Tav helped Astarion ride out the climax, and when she went to pull away, Astarion grabbed her wrist. He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was inside of him just a moment ago and licked up the contents on her fingers.

“You still taste divine, my sweet. That felt so good. Now it’s your turn, lay on your back.”

Tav was going to argue back, but Astarion had already sat up and was crawling to his prize.

“You’re in for a treat, darling, I know how to suck cock well, and especially my own? This will be different, but I am sure I can make you come faster than you made me.”

“It’s a competition now, is it?” Tav joked.

“Never. I want you to thoroughly enjoy my lips and tongue on your new cock.” Astarion huskily said as his mouth now hovered over her engorged mast. Tav could feel his hot breath hit her new penis and she desperately wanted to thrust.  Astarion wasted no time and took her cock into his mouth, his hand holding her hips down just like she did with him, so she couldn’t thrust yet. Astarion ran his tongue up the bottom vein and twirled his tongue over the head of the length. It was Tav’s turn to be vocal as the sensation overwhelmed her. Astarion was right, because he was proficient, she was in nirvana and didn’t doubt she would come sooner than him. Tav tried to thrust and chase the release when Astarion pulled back to mutter.

My love, I want you to enjoy, not just come. Plus, you’re in for a treat.” Astarion took one long lick of her manhood. “The woman I love comes at least twice. We’re going to do a little testing and see how many I can squeeze out of you.”

“By the gods, you feel great. Please, let me come! I’d love to keep feeling this, but I really need release!”

“We just had sex maybe a day or two ago, don’t tell me you need so soon?”

“It’s you. I’ll always need you.”

“Grab my hair and thrust. I can take it.” Astarion said with a grin as he took his lover’s cock into his mouth once again. Astarion hollowed out his cheeks and sucks and moaned as he gave oral to his lover. Tav couldn’t wait anymore and lightly held his hair before she began thrusting into his oral cavity. His mouth was so slick, so hot and divine, that Tav wanted to stay doing this but the coil in her lower belly told her how close she was.

“I’m gonna…”

Tav couldn’t finish her sentence as Astarion used both his hands to pull Tav’s ass closer to his mouth, taking her all in and gave everything he had. She saw stars. She thought it was a myth, but this experience proved otherwise. Tav yelled out Astarion’s name, clenched her stomach as she partly sat up while she unloaded her load down her lover’s throat. Astarion just moaned as he drank his own sperm in. He noted how sour he tasted and wondered why Tav would like drinking his spend so much, however soon enough, Tav pulled away and left Astarion curious.

“You drink me when I taste like that? I mean, it makes sense why you’re so delectable, but why swallow me, my sweet?”

Tav looked him in the eyes and smiled. “I drink you down regardless of taste, because I love you. I want you to feel good, and honestly? You don’t taste that bad.”

Astarion looked at her quizzically, but noted she still sported a hard on. Astarion began to languidly stroke her mast while Tav would moan until Tav stopped him.

“Do you want to continue?”

“My dear, I am giddy from excitement. I want this. We need this, and gods, when will we get another chance to make love while in each other’s bodies?”

Tav crawled above Astarion at this point, as Astarion spread his legs around Tav’s hips and helped Tav line up her new cock.

“Now I should be prepared but you’ll want to slide in slowly. Especially because I haven’t been fucked as a woman before.” Astarion chuckled. Tav began to push in and almost doubled over her lover, the tight hot heat put Astarion’s mouth to shame. As she continued to push in, Astarion kissed Tav so as to muffle her moans. She was struggling not to spill her load so soon, and wondered how Astarion did it. Tav thought her new cock wouldn’t be as sensitive as her clit, but by the gods, was she wrong. Eventually, she was fully sheathed and waited for Astarion’s signal to proceed.

“Darling, this feels incredible. No wonder you ask for my cock so much! You can move. It’s like a deep ache inside me that goes away and feels so good, like burning electricity when you strike those walls.”

Tav began to move but was soon stopped.

“No, no, dear. You don’t simply pull out and shove in. Roll the hips.” Tav followed the instructions. “There you go. Doesn’t that feel better? It saves your back, feels better for both of us, and this way, you won’t fall out when you pull back.” Tav grew embarrassed at the last part as when they began coupling, she did, in fact, fall out for a moment. She didn’t know how far to pull back, as she wasn’t used to the appendage, but Hells, was he right. Everything felt better, tighter and more sensual as she rolled her hips into him. Tav kissed Astarion some more but deepened the kiss. She ran her tongue everywhere she could find. Astarion moaned and began to thrust back, his legs now tight against her hips and circled around her backside. The only sounds in the room were blissful moans, reliving sighs and cries of each other as skin slapped in rhythm of each other.

Tav began to speed the pace up, feeling the desire within her warn her that she wouldn’t last much longer, but she didn’t want to be the only one to come. Tav pulled Astarion's leg off her side and held it up as she rolled her hips. She angled herself deep and to the side slightly, which soon enough, pushed Astarion over the edge with a cry of her name. The contracting muscles and the throb from inside was too much and Tav soon followed afterwards. She emptied herself of her spend inside of Astarion, (or rather her own body). She didn’t care, he was undead, so the chance of pregnancy was astronomically low. Tav slumped forward as she caught her breath (although, as an undead, she didn’t have to) and was held gently by Astarion.

“Want to go again?”

[leggomyayygo]

i saw your post earlier, and you’re absolutely right. the mileven tag has a lot of issues. first of all is the type of content being posted.

we barely have any active blogs, and the ones that are seem to be more content posting anti-by/ler hate then actually propping up mike and el. like from what i’ve seen, that’s exactly what by/lers make fun of us about, and we’re playing right into their narrative.

next is the cross-tagging. this isn’t entirely our fault, with bigger juggernaut ships mostly to blame. but god it’s so hard to find mileven content like headcanon or fic when it’s drowned out by anti content or unrelated relationships.

honestly that’s all I can think of off the top of my head, but i’d love to hear your thoughts.

Oh hey there!! 🤗

Ight lemme just preface this by saying I'm reeeeeeeeally struggling with word retrieval and transitions today, so I apologize if this is... clunky, lol. 🙈💧

It's a tricky situation for sure! First, we're outnumbered af. That alone puts us at a disadvantage for content output. Factor in that there's generally less of a "need" to generate content of long-canonized ships (for obvious reasons lol), and it's a recipe for a pretty quiet tag. The fact of the matter is that Mileven is and has been canon for several years now. It's only natural that hype would die down. For the most part, Mileven shippers have graduated from the honeymoon stage to having a more quiet and resevered appreciation for the ship. But for those of us who never left, or those whose love has been reinvigorated (me lol), it can be really frustrating when all you want to do is celebrate your ship. So yes, while I do wish there was more positive Mileven content to consume, I get why there's so little of it. A lot of shippers are just content with what canon has provided. 🤷

Now where anti-b*ler content is concerned.... generally I don't mind seeing it myself, but there's definitely exceptions to this and I can see how others would prefer to not see it at all. While I try to avoid the topic of B*ler on my own blog, I sympathize with Mileven shippers who are constantly under fire by trolls and antis who just don't know when to quit. It's really shitty and unnecessary behavior, especially considering how much they outnumber us. I get how choosing to engage with them could very well be giving them what they want, but simultaneously I can understand the frustration and desire to throw it back at them. Plus I'd be lying if I didn't find the content amusing or cathartic at times. I guess it really isn't my place to tell people how to deal with being harassed, but yeah. I agree that it would be better to only tag anti-b*ler. Even if don't mind seeing it, it would make finding actual Mileven content a LOT easier.

As for the cross-tagging..... Yeahhhhh... There's not much I can really add 😂 It's a much bigger issue than us, and aside from telling them to cut it out (a likely futile effort), I really don't know what else can be done on our side. THIS IS WHY WE NEED A "HIDE" BUTTON GODDAMMIT ASKSHDJDK 😤

Some final thoughts:

While there's little we can do solve these issues, one thing we CAN do is just try to engage with other shippers and put out content of our own. If we get the ball rolling, it may inspire others to do the same. Hell, I'm no writer, but because a mutual sent a simple Mileven ask, it got the gears in my head turning and I started writing a wholeass fic 🤣 I also want say that I do believe things are starting to head in a better direction. I've only had this blog for 3 months, but in the time that I've been here, I do believe that I've seen a positive shift. And I mean... we are bringing Mileven Week back this year, so I can't be the only one who thinks this. 😋💕

Anyway, I hope this was the type of response you were looking for! Again, my brain isn't working all that well today but I did my best 😅

Thanks for stopping by!! ✨

[catt-crossing]

aight im gonna vent a bunch of thoughts i had about that bitch who is apparently not my friend anymore. feel free to read, u may need a snack and or a drink though cus it's a doozy :/

so like!! i tried to point out the situation wasn't about her feelings and obviously that didn't matter because she made it about herself anyway. and then she dms me on discord and she tries to point out how it was ME who wasn't acting like her friend like bitch excuse me?? because I didn't message to her, I made her feel bad, all me me FUCKING ME! Like hold the goddamn phone bitch. You didn't message me either!! You also made me feel like fucking garbage!!! Did this bitch message me once or try to talk to me about how I felt?? NOPE!! Apparently me writing out how I felt like shit in the server before I left didn't mean anything to her like okay!! She's too into her own fucking feelings. And then she goes on to tell me how I left the servers she's in including her private one for her only close friends and for one. I left multiple servers, not just the ones she's in, but she wouldn't know because she just assumed I only left the ones SHE is in. Because I needed some fucking space and I felt perhaps she'd like space from me, again not that she'd know because she only assumes and doesn't consider my thoughts or feelings. Like excuse me from needing a break from being around you when you act like a fucking selfish child. And the fact hat she's upset about me leaving her "close friends" server, YET not even trying to talk to me at all, and two weeks after the situation, I find out she's already "mourned the friendship" and has basically tossed me aside. Like gee, why was I even in your "close friends" server then because that sure isn't something you just do to your so called close friends, bitch. She made it all about herself and even though I'm pissed and kind of done with her, since apparently she's done with me, it still hurts. :/ It's so stupid, but I kind of want to cry. I hate hate hate being made to feel like I'm the bad guy, and I know logically I'm not, but it still feels like I am :( and the fact that everyone else is still choosing to be friends with her and excuse her actions and words, is so alienating. I just feel like somehow I messed up and humiliated, and not appreciated or loved by some of my friends. It's obvious they like her more I guess. Everyone in that server simps for her anyway and she gets treated better like anything she does or says is more interesting than what other people have to say. One of my friends who has been on my side and left the server and her dnd game with me pointed out that part of what our friends probably think is that it's okay for me to get hurt because I'm more level-headed and stable and I won't cut people out of my life and drop friendships, which is what that bitch would do. So they would rather preserve her friendship while allowing me to get hurt, and let me just say that shit's fucked up. It honestly makes so much sense, though. So now I'm kind of rethinking some of my friendships and I don't think I can go back to acting totally normal and close with some people, which also fucking sucks. Because that's also a bit alienating or isolating or whatever the right word here is. Lonesome, I guess. Oof :/

[batri-jopa]

Ten Characters, Ten Fandoms, Ten Tags

Thanks for tagging @chrisoels ! At first I thought I don't have that many fandoms but then I found out that I actually have way too many😅 (why do I always have to overthink stuff like this?) So as there's no clear rules given here - I split it into the list of 10 characters and the list of 10 fandoms because why not:

TEN CHARACTERS - lets start with something normal...

John "Jack" Robinson (from Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries series) - for making all the most minimalistic reactions feel sooo intense with his voice, his face, his appearence and the way he can blink... He's the coolest quiet guy!❤

Amelie (from Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, 2001, dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet) - nice, quiet girl who is not best at socialising and doesn't enjoy sex (greysexual?) yet loves to make other people happy. Doing good things without being noticed makes her feel powerful and make her feel like Zorro. I love that she eventually gets some kind of reward for all that and the kissing scene in the end is sooo very sweet❤

Pollyanna (from Pollyanna, 1913 novel written by Eleanor H. Porter) [books counts too I guess?] - for looking at the positive side of every situation, what's more to say? Best way to live your life when you're too empathetic👍

Benton Fraser (from Due South series) - a guy from other realm: elegant, polite and humble, obeying all the rules and still be the smartest and most effective police officer around. Not to mention how handsome and cute he is! (take it for ace version of "hot") and scenes like when he falls into the snow in end credits I could watch forever❤ (so bad his asexual smart-ass potential has been wasted by producers in every next season...)

Young Bilbo Baggins (from The Hobbit, or There and Back Again written by J.R.R. Tolkien) - the book character once more: the guy, who starts up as the classical loser, the smallest in the group, knowing nothing, understanding nothing and being scared of his own shadow - when given a chance proves his potential for the greatest deeds, smartest solving problems and bravest of actions💪And the talking to the dragon on the top of that, OMG!!!🤯 (sorry, but Peter Jackson version packed with CGI and unnecessary stuff for me was emotionally flat as a pancake😩)

Zorro (from Zorro, 1957 Walt Disney series) - ZORRO!!! if that's not self-explanatory I don't know what to say😂

Z (from Ant Z , 1998dir. Eric Darnell and Tim Johnson) - for: "Why does everybody have to dance the same way?"

Sherlock Holmes (from Sherlock BBC series) and Gregory House (from House M.D. series) - well it is technically the same character (like Doctor Who or like James Bond - played by multiple actors): brilliant antisocial detective no matter if he is played by Benedict Cumberbatch or Hugh Laurie. And if not for his stunning personality (you may love him, you may hate him but you can't stay indifferent) - all the undefined interactions, dialogs and puns between Sherlock and John or between Greg House and Lisa Cuddy are just pure gold❤️‍🔥

Howard Brackett (from In & Out, 1997 dir. Frank Oz) - sooo sweet, I consider him my favorite ace movie character💜💚 (the 1990's movie tells him to be "gay" but I'd say it's an obvious misrecognition and I'd need another post to tell more about that guy...😋)

Jareth the Goblin King (from Labyrinth 1986, dir. Jim Henson) - well... that's another guy that I sooo much need another post to talk about😆 Starred by David Bowie, nuff said😎

.

TEN FANDOMS (don't worry, this part is much shorter):

Labyrinth (1986, dir. Jim Henson) and its fancomic Girls Next Door (I love that in the fancomic Jareth gets muuuch more good time teasing and flirting Sarah!😋) - what to say? Everything is magical and fancy here but never too naive

X-men - a talent that makes you special also makes you an outcast (which is not any different from the real world actually...) Also cool looking action scenes and young Hugh Jackman as the Wolverine.

Collateral (2004, dir. Michael Mann) - I watched it for the first time in 2021 and it became my biggest obsession, hyperfixation and life perspective changing experience❤️‍🔥 (again - most definitely some other post to talk about it) But apart from my madness it's also is just a very good action movie with nice soundtrack. And ppl saying they hate Tom Cruise but loved Collateral says a lot about it!👍

Terminator 2: The Judgement Day. It's like Zorro to me - obssesed since my childhood and never get over it

Fiddler on The Roof - pure perfection

M.A.S.H. series - classic

House M.D. - apart from everything else it was also a great help during medical studies - nice thing when you can memorise weird disease symptoms with an episode😉

Toy Story - fascinating thing to watch every next movie growing up with you - from your childhood problems to middle age issues...

Matrix - hyperfixation of 13 years old me (but the first movie I choose to treat as a whole story)

Garfield - 😁

Oh, that was kind of refreshing. Turns out I actually needed that.

Now I'm afraid I do not know enough people to tag but lets try it: @the-malfunctioning-somnambulist , @vampiiriic , @blackhoodedfigur , @lireb-librarian , @voidofsky , @sharp-lines-in-charcoal , @dragodina , @sbmranger , @tamisdava2 , @notasapleasure

Have fun if you feel like it or just have a good day anyway!❤

[postive-rainworld-anarchy-conf]

As someone who mods for the popular rw confession blog on this site (least I assume its the most popular? Idk), my confession is that im sorry that pro-Az people are mad that their ask where they said Emily is a gross pedo that should kill themselves didn't make it through the anti-harassment rule. Its not our fault that Pro-Emily people know how to format their confessions to not be name-dropping dogshit and make it through. Most of the 'Vauge Az asks" got through because they were talking about how scared the situation made them feel, or about the side of the fandom they didn't like as a whole, which is not harassment or name-dropping. Sorry you read everything like its about your friend group, but someone saying they feel scared about teenagers harassing others in the fandom isn't automatically about just one guy believe it or not. Im not saying which side im on cuz it doesn't matter (and thats against our rules anyway), im just saying no one on the pro-az side knows how to silently say they dislike someone without being it being obvious and a huge dick.

We got rid of the 'You can talk about drama' rules weeks before the doc even came out, and asks from the time it was dropped haven't even posted yet (our queue is still submitting posts from July 10th.) Ya'll can stop whining in our inbox about how we post nothing but anti-Az asks, the last drama ask was posted months after the org drama ended and weeks before it started again.

Half tempted to @ your blog so people will stop trying to get their drama asks through /j. Your doing gods work on this blog and sorry for posting a huge rant in your inbox lol (also before anyone tries playing detective, im one of the quiet mods on the blog who never talks. Good luck)

"oh fuck I sure do wonder why I have 8 messages in my blog" looks inside how the fuck did anyone even find me. I literally just dusted off the blog to laugh at a really really bad document for a bit, guess uuuuuuh...... ok! (I did not, as they say expect the unexpected.)

I don't really know how to respond honestly. I mean the no harassment rule does fall apart after long enough and enough bullshit happening.

really hard to not harass people when those people are infuriating as all hell.

this isn't like, a "you should answer those asks" it's a "wow alot sure did happen, and it sucks that you have to sift through this stuff to pick out the stuff you can actually post."

and it really sucks that the pro-emily side is often the one that just, better follows the rules, I may be 100% on emily's side but like, a confessions blog is a confessions blog and I know how much it sucks to be shoved out of their without your ask ever getting answered.

but like, those rules have a reason. is it a good reason? yeah? also good on you for adding a 'no drama' rule, this shit is fucking toxic.

also I'd say you can edit the asks to make the fit the rules and repost them as anon but like...

that's alot of work! and I don't expect anyone to do that honestly. I wouldn't even do that. and I'm, actually insane.

---

onto the next ask...

oh god people not understanding what you mean, the blog this one is based off of (whom I'm not going to say because while I dislike them, they did say they didn't want to be affiliated with this blog so yeah lol) did that so, so much. but I get it, it's scary when someone has an opinion you don't like and says that their blog is based off of yours

honestly I think your blog is the gold standard for confession blogs, literally. it's always fun to scroll through and see what dumb shit people say just because they can, without worrying about the repercussions.

when I learned about your blog I instantly went "why the fuck am I doing this, this is already done, but better and more popular"

though I guess I've come to realize that I'm filling a different part of the niche. especially since you aren't really wanting to answer drama related asks, probably a good decision honestly.

I wish you luck with running the blog. it's a tedious process, especially when everyone just instantly went insane when they saw the document.

also Post Script;

that would be really hilarious if you @ my blog being just like "heeey, this fuck WILL answer your asks." and I'd be fine with doing it, especially if it makes wading through your inbox easier over time. though I completely understand not wanting to do that.

people read "this blog follows the harkness test" and think "oh, you must be a zoophile" when in reality, I'm an ao3 user and this shit is fucking lame compared to the stuff I've seen.

and your already getting a ton of angry people at your door for the crime of... having rules... and... following those rules...?

Post Post Script;

can I just say how fucking insane it is that I've gotten asks from both emily AND the real rainworld confessions???

90% of my asks used to be me just saying shit. I guess this is the thing that happens when you do this kind of thing.

Post Post Post Script;

seven red suns pronouns are 7/8/9 duh.

anyways, hope your having a fine day, this was an interesting way to start mine! and don't worry, you did post both of these with anon, I thankfully didn't have to gaze upon the true form of that which wishes to stay unknown.

[crystalelemental]

We are going to have an absolute bitch of a time against Anabel.  Have you seen her stats? 4600 offenses and over 900,000 HP. And don't forget AoE spam, complete with HE1 Heat Wave, Eruption, and Bulldoze to cut your gauges! And that's just her! Sides have like 3400 offenses, over 100,000 HP, and just as many passive gimmicks. Anabel is for real. So, this is my initial hope for a team that can take her somehow. I am not confident.

Based on what's described, I'm pretty confident this is one you don't get through without Master Fairs.  A lot of people seem confident that NC Calem will do it.  These people are idiots.  I'm sorry, you know she pops Sun at the start, and with Sun, passives that boost move damage 50% under sun, and offensive stats that are literally more than DOUBLE a max offensive parameters Water-weak Flint stage. You think Calem is going to handle that? His buddy move kills his chances. This is all SS Kris.

SS Kris SS Kris is the centerpiece, thanks to Rain Dance being summonable at any time, and Flameproof to deny the sure-burn off Hostile Environment Sacred Fire.  Yes, that is a thing for some reason.  I have two plans for Kris, depending on just how long this fight goes for.  The first set is the MPR on Rain Dance.  This is the worst case scenario.  You know, the one where we actually need it that often.  The other approach is Stoic.  I'm hoping for Stoic, as Anabel is primarily physical.  Which is Not Great for Kris here.  In an ideal scenario, I think the Master Healer 1 tiles are nice to have, but she gives up a lot just for those.  I'm not confident she can do what needs doing without it.

The good news is, Entei's sync is special, so Kris' immediate +4 Sp Def actually helps a lot. The bad news is, Sacred Fire and Bulldoze are physical, and that's spooky without Stoic. If, and by god do I mean if, we don't need more than three applications of Rain, Kris can give up one (1) Master Healer to take Stoic and Swift Reaction, while retaining Flameproof. God help us.

NC Serena The obvious pick for this fight, as many have identified, is NC Serena.  Anabel's function is Fluid Fortification, which means Serena's ability to hit every debuff is integral to success.  Rainy Mind-Blowing Strike 2 is downright essential.  Note, I'm dropping Furious Brain for Refreshing Rain.  I think that's downright required, to offset some of the need from Kris' Mini Potion.  Depending, using Dark may be effective to get some staggering in, but accuracy drops are worthless; Anabel has Piercing Gaze.  Serena need to hit offensive stats primarily, or Entei just cooks us. I'm not confident she'll do a great job, since you're also dealing with sides.

Serena has several issues. First is bulk. AoE spam is high, and she's not especially bulky. Sync also ignores Master Passives, so her Spirit effect is borderline useless. She does have a slight workaround in her EX Role. Second problem: Support is bad for her. She just wanted Strike. That would've solved the sides. Without Strike, this fight goes from bad to worse, as now we don't have a clear solution to sides. Third, Anabel has an Endure at 60% HP no matter what, meaning that even with a full power sync nuke, if she's above 60%, she's not dipping below it. This puts a lot of pressure on wearing her down before attempting Serena's nuke. All this around the fact that Anabel boosts crit. Oh, yeah, she'll cap her own crit rate. So I guess lucky skill Vigilance for most. That said, I think I have a workaround.

Eevee Lyra The final piece is Eevee Lyra, which may seem like a bizarre choice but hear me out.  Team Crit Immunity under Rain.  Additionally, the speed boosting offsets the speed debuffs from Bulldoze, without Kris having to grid Team Swift Reaction.  Lyra's able to boost team speed enough that it doesn't matter.  With all three potentially having Refreshing Rain, we're in a position where hopefully, the Potion situation isn't as demanding.  I'm not confident, though.

Lyra also has the ability to set Rain on each sync. I think this will be my approximate solution to the 60% Endure. Sides will have to wait, but center needs to go under 60% quickly to let Serena nuke it out of existence. Once below that threshold, we pivot from Lyra's sync to Serena's, hoping to one-shot thanks to the stacked sync buffs, Rain from Kris, and -2 rebuff. One can dream. This still leaves the issue of sides, which Lyra still cannot help with, because Piercing Gaze. That really is a super unnecessary fuck you to May, I'm just saying, she wasn't coming close to begin with guys.

The major Lyra problem is 2/5. I intend to get her to 3/5 with the Variety rerun, but we'll wait to see about the free ticket and the push for both Elio and Selene first. At 3/5, Lyra opens up a very significant trait: Blunting Strike 9. Atk debuffs are super crucial for managing Entei's DPS, and keeping Kris in the game. Without this, we may not be able to win at all. We'll have to see.

[fastlaneeuropean]

Reasons Why Your Porsche Is Taking Longer To Stop

So, the stopping distance of your Porsche has increased significantly recently???

We know how challenging it is to drive a vehicle that has difficulty stopping when needed. To help you out of such a situation and restore your vehicle's stopping distance, we have shared some tips below. Let’s start by discussing the factors that are largely to blame for increased stopping distance in vehicles. 

Reasons Why Your Car Struggles To Stop Right Away

There are all kinds of reasons why you might have difficulty stopping your Porsche; some of the most prominent ones are listed below. Please take a look…

Cause #1- Brake pads are worn

When was the last time you had your Porsche’s brake pads tested??? Has it been a while? The reason why we are raising this question is because when brake pads are worn down to the minimum thickness they will significantly limit the braking system's ability to stop the vehicle. As a result, no matter how hard you press the brake pedal, your vehicle will not stop.

How to be sure if this is the issue?

The appearance of a strange squealing noise as you press the brake pedal.

You feel as if your car is pulling to one side when you apply the brakes.

Abnormal shudder felt when pressing the brake pedal at high speed.

The brake pad warning light starts flashing.

Case #2- Leaking brake fluid

Another reason why your Porsche’s stopping distance may increase significantly is the unavailability of an adequate amount of brake fluid. The contribution of brake fluid to the overall functionality of a vehicle's braking system is often overlooked. But, guess what??? If it is not because of the brake fluid, the braking force applied to the brake pedal may not reach the brake pads.

How to be sure if this is the issue?

You will not feel significant resistance when you press the brake pedal.

The ABS warning light will start flashing on the dash of your vehicle.

Oil puddles underneath the vehicle; close to the wheels.

The emergence of squeaking or squealing noise when you press the brake pedal.

Case #3- Flaw in brake pedal assembly

The brake pedal you press your foot on to slow the vehicle is only a small part of a larger system. Yup, you read that right… the assembly that the brake pedal is part of is made up of several different parts. If there is something off with this assembly, it will significantly reduce your vehicle’s braking efficiency. So, if you are having difficulty slowing down your Porsche, chances are your vehicle's brake pedal assembly is at fault.

How to be sure if this is the issue?

The brake pedal is hard to press down.

The brake pedal has little or no resistance.

The pedal simply drops to the floor.

Case #4- Caliper assembly fault

This is another obvious reason why the braking efficiency of your Porsche may be significantly reduced. The caliper assembly is made of many different parts like slide pins, locking bolts, dust boots, brake pistons, mounting clips, etc… If any of these parts malfunction, there will be a noticeable impact on overall braking system operation. As a result, your vehicle's stopping distance may increase…

How to be sure if this is the issue?

Your Porsche is pulling to one side when the brakes are applied.

Another key indicator of a seized caliper is the appearance of a cloud of brake dust.

The emergence of a scary screeching noise when applying the brakes may also point to a faulty caliper.

Brake pads are not wearing evenly.

So, What’s The Solution?

There are a few things that you can do to ensure your Porsche’s upkeep, such as;

Check your Porsche’s brake fluid level from time to time.

Consider flushing your vehicle’s braking system for enhanced braking efficiency.

If brake pads are worn down to minimum thickness, consider replacing them.

If it seems to you that your vehicle’s braking system is not operating the way it should, reach out to the nearest service center.

To Wrap Things Up…

So, there you have it; a list of reasons why your Porsche’s stopping distance might have increased recently. Whatever the reason may be; if it occurs to you that your vehicle’s braking system efficiency has reduced, reach out to the nearby service center to get the issue diagnosed.

[yyxandere]

YANDERE MAJIMA. THATS IT THATS THE POST

ੈ♡˳ 𝐌𝐀𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐆

[♡]ー ꒱・！CHARACTER！:: MAJIMA GORO.

☆ - Art Credits: HATORI

✧.* gender/pronouns ─ 'You' pronouns

✧.* prompt ─ Yandere Majima Goro General Headcanons

✩.* note ─ Guess cane back from the dead (AGAIN) I tried my best to not make Majima OOC bc I haven't played yakuza for a while (just waiting for yakuza 8 lolz) and its finally my summer break!!, hope yall will love this one!!

✩.* TRIGGER WARNINGS ─ OOC Majima, Spoilers for Majima's backstory, Spoilers for Yakuza 0 and 4 Unhealthy Mindset, Blood, and Unhealthy Coping Mechanism

• Yakuza 0 Majima is a Stalker, Overprotective and Obsessive Yandere in his way.

• Majima is already stressed out in life, first his sworn brother; Taiga got sent into prison, getting tortured and for that, one of his eyes is gone, and just to tip it all of him getting expelled from the Shimano family. And with that, he was held captive in Sotenbori, each day his mental health was getting shittier until he fell down a hole he couldn’t get off, so no wonder why he turned into such vulnerable man.

• So when he meets you, a person who can distract him from all the things he has been feeling, he quickly attached to you. How can he not? You have such gorgeous eyes that make makes him tear up whenever he sees you, an angelic voice that makes him swoon and a such beautiful aura that can make him feel so comfortable around you, he just craves for it and wants to want more of it, but he knows what dangers and problem he will attract if he ever or even shows a single interest about you, may it be his other rivals or the yakuza. Yes, he yearns for your touch but he knows that he can't because of the chain around his neck. Restraining him; Holding him back. . .

• If per se we can think of a situation if you were kidnapped by Majima that time, Majima would be soft but most of the time a very tough (goofy) guy. He tries his best to make up for you like making time with you and stuff but those are rare.

• Majima would try his best not to punish you this time, but if you kept on escaping him, he would have a breakdown. This is what Majima stands for the most when it comes to punishing you. He will not physically harm you in anyways but he will start shouting and bawling his eyes out, he will tell you that he’s doing this for you and most of the time will guilt trip you to pitting him instead of actually trying to reason with him. He knows the cards is playing, but will he stop? We all know the answer to that.

• After all the shit he went through Yakuza 0, that's when the "Mad Dog" comes in, he finally has no restraining him from doing whatever he wants.

• Even if he's not the mad dog you can make him you make him go mad because of you starting making him smile like crazy. No matter how hard he tries, he can't control himself at times, he'll let out his feelings and let out the happiness that you bring to him. And when he finds himself wanting to show you his softer side, he will pour all of his love into you.

• Majima is a broken man so he’s secretly dependent on you, and because of Makoto, he would be even more fragile. But! Don’t even think that Majima would replace you over Makoto, Never! He would rather die than think that you’re just a replacement for Makoto.

• "Mad Dog” Majima is the opposite of his past self. Yes, his “Mad Dog” personality is just an act, that fact is true but his current “personality” is also a facade, a facade which his obsession grew and became too hard to contain and which caused him to be like this.

• Like I said before Majima is clingy towards you, he will show the streets of Kamurocho who you belong to even if you reject his advances you don’t have a choice but to stick with a crazy yakuza man.

• It’s pretty obvious but this current Majima is insane. Majima is Protective and at the same time so Jealous. One time a dude cat called you and before you can even turn around Majima is immediately in that man’s face pulling the man’s tongue out and slowly teasing the man’s tongue with his knife while having a crazy face but eyes full of fury. You physically had to pull him away but that didn’t stop Majima from hunting that man down and killing him brutally and dumping his body near a dumpster. 

• After a long hard day in the Majima family he likes it whenever you massage his temples, it gives him a great sense of comfort after beating guys who even looked at you a great punching, so never ask him about the dried-up blood in his fist mixed with fresh new blood in his knife.

• Getting punished by Majima this time is odd perhaps? I mean yes, unlike before he will not hesitate to lock you in his room and even make side remarks about hurting people you know or are close to, but at the same time he would come at you and will make you try to comfort him even if you are in chains and after that, he’ll leave you again. He has very odd moods no matter how much you stay with him you could never read his mood.

• Majima is greedy for attention from you, he would do very much outlandish things just for you, and God bless the person offices gets to ask you for directions because Majima could be giving them a death stare or being very touchy towards you while he’s behind you sniffing you which causes a person to ask another person.

• Overall which Majima you choose, you will always be with a very unhealthy man who’s fighting his morality while keeping you with no chance of escape. 

Accepting your fate you let your mad lover -Majima- take who abducted you and kept you in his house the same man you tried to fight back against but at the end of the day he always wins. As you slowly lose hope you let the same man lay down on your lap while the smell of strong blood reeking in his yellow boa print snakeskin blazer. You then started caressing his face while doing so Majima held your wrist then kissed it and looked up at you with eyes full of madness. 

“Oh, my sweet (Y/N)-Chan ya do know that yer will never leave me yea’?”

And with that, you knew that you could never escape. No matter how you escaped he would hunt you down like a mad dog.

[seawitchkaraoke]

heads up, this is about The Trial everyone won’t shut up about, so skip if you don’t wanna hear it. not tagging bc i don’t want the fans of either side to come running at me

i think y’all need to learn that sometimes things are simply unsatisfying and there are no good solutions and you simply will never know whether ‘‘the good ones’‘ won or not bc you do not know who “the good ones” are (or whether anyone is)

Like. Option 1: He abused her, she now owes him damages for writing about things that actually did happen -> objectively horrible if this is what happens I feel very sorry for her

Ooption 2: She abused him and if he’d lost he would have to keep sitting by while she tells everyone it was the other way around -> also objectively horrible and in this case i’d be glad he won, good for him

Option 3: they both hurt and abused each other, everyone is the worst, there are no innocents -> fuck it i guess, doesn’t matter who won

But like. None of us know the truth. The jury found it “more likely than not” that it’s something along the lines of option 2 (but this is a civil case so no “beyond a reasonable doubt” it’s just “more likely than not” aka like 51%) but they don’t know either. Presumably the two of them know. But idk man, they probably both do genuienly think of themselves as the victim, bc that is how real life abusers work, they usually don’t think of themselves as abusive (source: I’ve met abusers)

And everyone acting like they somehow know 100% what the actual truth is annoy me so much, shut up, you don’t know shit, none of us know. Yes that sucks! Yes that’s really uncomfortable! Yes it’s easier to take a side and simply Be Sure of what Real Justice would be! But you don’t know! I don’t know either! I really don’t like not knowing, I would love to be as certain as y’all are, but I simply do not know and I’m just gonna have to live with that. I highly doubt either of them has enough evidence that they’d win an actual “beyond reasonable doubt” abuse case with how close this civil one was.

Also no, it doesn’t set a legal precedent, that is not how legal precedents work.

And yes if this encourages abusers to file for defamation or discourages victims from speaking out that sucks but like. There was no winning here. That would have happened no matter what. If he lost there’d now be posts everywhere about how this discourages male victims from fighting back or whatever, there is no winning here.  Especially since again, we simply cannot know who the actual “villian” is.

[cosmicmordecai]

Batman vs Robin #1 Proves Why The General DCU Needs To Distance Itself From The World Of Batman

Its been a while since i’ve ever posted any kind of content relating directly to comic books but today’s issue of Batman vs Robin just was too much to be kept in silence. As much of a Batman fan I am, there’s also many things I favor in the DC Universe and its very irritating to be reminded of DC’s self-fulfilling prophecy.

(Spoilers ahead)

I'm just going to say it; Damian Wayne's issues with Batman are not compelling enough to have a possession storyline with him that includes wrecking up the entire mythos of the mystic side of DC Universe as a way to showcase the stakes involved with him being possessed and on the side of the Devil Nezha.

Firstly, I find it ridiculous there’s another storyline with Damian acting as an antagonist. Never mind the fact his heritage makes re-treading this murky territory and his fans are tired of it (some even find it racist) but my problem with him is that he’s Batman’s biological son so he’s gonna be pushing the bar. Of course he’s empowered far above Jakeem Thunder & Tim Hunter. Of course he thinks the literal most powerful mystic objects in DC are insufficient to taking down Batman. Of course Batman finds Damian to be a credible threat and not a 15 year old he can put in his place. Im tired of Damian (and by extension, Batman characters) getting into situations that narratively props their conflicts far moreso than general DCU character that hardly get to do shit.

Secondly, Nezha and Damian's actions (possessed or otherwise) having this wide of a effect on the DC Universe's magical verse is precisely the reason why Batman's world needs to stay in it's own corner. You have Justice League Dark and God's former agent of vegance all compromised and incapactiated to showcase the stakes Damian is involved in with Nezha. Why is this important you may ask?

If your defense for this is because Batman sells, well you're right. You want a cookie for an obvious answer? But here's the dealio: it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Batman's stories are the only time where DC has any REAL stakes on par with actual events like Dark Crisis. The mere fact that this story is taking place at the same time as Dark Crisis on Infinite Earths should tell you something. How can anything else sell if nothing really matters or Batman matters more? Thanks to a empowered/possessed Damian, the world of magic is turned upside down. It's one of the selling points of it being a big stake event for Batman. Now what is the Justice League Dark title having going on in their own corner? NOTHING BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE A TITLE. IT GOT REGULATED TO A BACKUP BEFORE JUSTICE LEAGUE GOT CANCELLED.

One also has to ask WHY the magic characters and Justice League Dark in particular? The answer is pretty simple: it's a easy way to make the event look large AND make people look good. Dark Crisis did the same thing where all the magic characters are already aware the Great Darkness was up to some shit and just hid away. Part of their role is to showcase the continually larger stake at hand while also hinting towards said Darkness perhaps being manipulated. Just like Dark Crisis, Batman vs Robin uses magic characters to show off just how powerful Nezha is and how much more powerful he has/can make Damian. Just look at how the Justice League Dark is incapacitated. Look at how Nezha resides in the Tower of Fate, implied to have beaten Doctor Fate in his own place of power and uses it as a makeshift base of operations and can offer artifacts that ordinarly serve as plot mcguffins themselves. Even titles like Flash are guilty of doing this, as there was a JLD crossover with them fighting Eclipso. Wally got to save the day after finding out the bad guy's plan because of SCIENCE (the current Doctor Fate literally had to get a bachelor of science but I guess magic characters are stupid outside magic), saved the JLD from possession, and was immune to Eclipso because God loved him and is proud of him (nevermind the fact a Muslim character was involved in the plot heavily).

It's writing and portrayals like this that gives Marvel Comics an edge. While I'm not saying they're not above pulling this off themselves, it's pretty notable that Marvel has various books covering different characters potentially getting coverage that can impact their future on the big screen that may not inheretly step on other character(s) while DC/Warner Bros have to rely on Batman-centric books and events to sell things because they find it difficult to capitalize on their own comic book characters for anything. My Flash example also showcases this idea that in order to elevate something, someone has to be pushed down is a common thought process and it seems the JLD are contendable targets for years to come.

You'll notice that in all this, I didn't focus on Damian much or Alfred or any of the plot-relevant details. That is the case because I'm not wanting to put full care into that even though I read this to see Alfred's return. Not everyone wants to care about what's happening in Batman's world. There are people yhat like to see other aspects of DC be respected and treated with care and some don't even want to be involved in Batman's stuff. But books like this is what we get when those who want to follow magical-related characters are somewhat interested in a crossover; disrespected.

I wrote this because despite this happening, people are praising the issue because Damian/Bruce conflict and Alfred and I'll be damned if I can't raise awareness on the nonsense happening in this book. It is things like this that has significant limited my purhcase of ongoing series. The only Bat-related book I support is Sword of Azrael. It is sad that my favorite titles like Aquaman and Justice League Dark no longer gets ongoings while Batman's stuff can keep going even in it's medicority to bad stories phase. I think DC Comics, as a whole, needs to start seriously respecting their non-Batman titles if they hope to captialize on anything else not Batman.