#like the relationship doesnt need to be based on trust..care..etc. it already has that. it needs to be based on the outside. the past

[jrueships]

Bron/AD

time for my honest onion on bron/AD...

i think they are very compatible like either way you view it, friendship or romantic relationship. Like they are on kyle/demar levels of compatibility in terms of opposites attracting. Lebron is driven and AD is deep. Lebron is willing to investigate and explore any of AD's unique passions (like gta rp) even if it's very new to him or he has to borrow a shitty mic from his streamer son to do it 😭. AD is willing to go the depths of Lebron's wants and desires by seeing him more than just the crown status he has. He doesn't want to please necessarily, but to just help in general because their relationship (whether platonic or romantic) revolves heavy mutuality. I think people can be too hard on Lebron/too judgemental because of him having the spotlight and all the issues that surround that, so whenever AD doesn't perform well.. people blow the thing up into a huge problem. And while that IS a problem... i think their relationship builds off of having problems tbh. Not big ones but like small ones that you can consider accomplishments when they're solved. Their relationship is built off of constant solving VIA investigating, helping, and just tending to other's needs. They REALLY get closer together by actually. Getting closer together. And to get closer.. they need a little problem first.

Problem has this whole negative attachment to it, especially to people who live more comfortable, less competitive lives, but it's different for people like Lebron who's faced more options to deem definitions toward. Their relationship works on workable problems. Not to be confused with a big.. actual actual disruptive problem. Lebron is a big solver who turns into a big feeler when something isn't solved right and AD is a big feeler who turns into a big solver when something doesn't feel right. They work well with each other because they work WELL with each other. They compensate not JUST bcs they're willing.. but because they both see it as a NEED. They're both 110% devoted (afterwards) to help out on a problem.

BUT..... the whole thing with little problems... can be a Little difficult tho. Sometimes. And it's not about having those little problems, because those are unavoidable and in both of their minds necessary for greater development...

it's maybe.. Not having any little problems. At least with the other. It's the problem of 'what more can we do?' That makes them antsy. If Lebron somehow started out with AD from the beginning as a sidekick (and not kyr*e first) .... like idk somehow they get on the same team sooner.. the relationship would still be good because it IS.. i just don't know how long it will be sometimes (both duration and depth). BCS LIKE. Lebron came off of a lot of issues during and after kyr*e. I'm not a big follower of bron, so I can't go into details, but I am an empathizer with him, even as an MJ fan. Lebron loved sticking with AD despite everyone making fun of him for being LeGM. That gave him a conflict he could easily conquer by showing out and connecting with AD, which in turn strengthens their relationship. But to start off on a cleaner slate..? With less issues to work with him on and in turn grow closer with him?

In my opinion, it's a relationship that works best the way it was found. If you take it out of the timeline too forward or backwards.. it'll still be compatible.. but it won't be. it won't have the OOMF, u know?

which leads me to say..... i think it's a relationship that really has to be like. A 2nd/3rd one. Like a trying again NOT WITH EACHOTHER but with the self. You can't just HAVE it.. and it'll be.. IT, you know? It's a strong relationship.. but it definitely NEEDS other factors that aren't exactly from the self to make it work even stronger BCS IT ALREADY IS STRONG FROM THE SELF... there IS a connection and an ability to make that connection even stronger.. it just needs an external enzyme to activate that. They can't exactly just activate that themselves with them alone. They need at least a little something else to push them into shared goals.

SO LIKE I MEAN!!! I LIKE IT ! I DO !!!!! But i think I like it a lot more as good friends bcs idk... I feel like you'll just get that more the more you try to adjust the timepieces and whatnot. Like yeah, they're super helpful to each other when pushed to be, but they're always kinda helpful to each other in general and the fact that they need a push that's forced to be outside just.. idk. It makes the friendship go from a lot less magical to me and more mechanical.. there's more reasons and definitions for it WHICH SOME PEOPLE DO LIKE!!!!! I definitely like being able to say more stuff about things!

But idk... im kind of a sap for things being sometimes just like... u know! They besties! They love each other! Besties!!!

The whole addition of the need cycle makes it go from besties!!! To woooah! Here's a reason for why that happened and if that reason wasn't there this would not be happening ! And it's not some cute elaborate romantical story from the heart.... it's cause and effect or cause and rebuttal. IDK MAN like it definitely WORKS. But like. Me, personally, VERYY personally, i love when things just sorta WORK and u can't really explain all the how's (bcs there's more than one. It's a whole jumbled story and more and more reasons for them to love/interact deeply with each other) but it just kinda.. WORKS !

If the people were even slightly different, like if ad wasn't the person he was.. it would not run like that. So they DO need that kind of specific relation between them to get that relationship specifically to survive below the surface.. so I CAN see the beauty in that tho!!! I just like seeing it better in something more platonic like a friendship tho... but i do understand the beauty of the working relationship and I think that's nice too :) !! It works great for them and especially lebron lol, maybe it's Him....

[problematicfactive]

im a factive of someone who our host cares about deeply but at the same time wishes it didnt. im a factive of someone who doesnt care about us at all anymore. im a factive of a girl who has been nothing but awful to my host.

im a factive of someone who has caused so much pain for our host and sometimes i feel bad but i didnt do it

its not my fault

and its going to talk a bit for our host to accept that but when he does im ready to be friends. i want to be friends. i just dont know how to act towards my host other than hating him because thats how my source treats him. but im learning.

im learning that i can be my own person and i dont have to be the same as my source and i dont have to have the same opinions of people as my source.

and ill never replace my source for the host, it'll never care about me the same way it cares about her, but i can try and help. and i dont have to compound on the hatred my source throws his way.

im learning that as i go and sometimes its hard. most times its hard to imagine my host without jumping out into disgust. but im learning.

-leah

You, as a person, Leah, you are a wonderful person. I can tell based entirely in the amount of insight you're willing to put into yourself. Only people who are good people can put that kind of insight in themselves.

I'm really sorry that your source has turned into a point of pain within your system. No one deserves that. Relationships (weather romantic, platonic, familial etc) hurt badly when they break, especially on a bad note, and I can only imagine that your position in this instance makes the situation a trillion times harder for you.

But you're already on the first step to making things easier for yourself. You're able to recognize that you aren't your source and that is A LOT.

To be able to separate yourself. To be able to write out and believe the words "I didn't do it. It's not my fault" to understand you dint have to be a 1 to 1 of your source. That's the starting point. You're looking at freedom.

Start slow on recognizing yourself. Find things you like. Are they things your source likes? If not, wonderful, and if so, that's also wonderful! Recognize that your interests are your own, and jut because you do or dont share som with source doesn't make you any more or less of your source than the amount you feel.

It will he hard to be able to build a good, trusting relationship with you host. Especially because of your circumstances.

But I know you can do it.

Feel free to message me if ever you need a vent.

My boyfriend and I are both rooting for you.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Why Kacchako would be bad idea in canon

Thanks for question, anon. Actually, i didnt care bnha ships these much in past. And i didnt understand why people ship Kacchako so i wanted to give a chance to see their point cause it was so popular. I wanted to understand why they like it. And many people write some metas about ‘Kacchaco would be better as canon’ and i thought about it a lot. Sooo i wanna explain why i think kacchaco is bad ship in canon.

‘Bakugou respects Uraraka’

So we all know that Bakugou started to respect Uraraka cause she is strong girl and its true. She is. But point is;

People dont become strong on their own, people who supported us, people who inspired us makes us strong. We can show the true strengh in ourselves, thanks to those people.

Uraraka did her best when he fought with Bakugou but she wouldnt do her best, if she wasnt inspired by Deku who always does his best. You know, at first, Uraraka was kind of girl who doesnt take things seriously, unlike others. She is normal girl who just wanted to make her family happy.

And again, like i said, people dont become strong on their own. Bakugou respects Uraraka cause he realized she is strong but the one who make Uraraka strong isnt Bakugou. So if Uraraka didnt meet with Deku or Uraraka hadnt those people around her, she couldnt show her real strong. And Bakugou wouldnt respect her.

Like; when you need help, this person wont care about you and wont help you but when you got the help you need and show the strengh you always had inside of you, this person will respect you.

Not even need to mention how that fight portrayed.Like, who cares Uraraka is a girl, she is human being and those much violence was unnecessary. This is not respecting someone, this is just simply not caring the person in front of you.

‘Uraraka understand Bakugou’

First, Uraraka doesnt specifcially uınderstand Bakugou, she has high emotionally intelligece. She is good at reading people’s emotions. This is why she realized Tsuyu when she was in pain and tried to help her etc etc.

And there is this scene many things like it;

Uraraka says if we tried to save Bakugou, Bakugou wouldnt like it and its truth but also there is this scene;

Look how Bakugou is happy to be saved. Basically, if they did what Uraraka did, they couldnt have saved Bakugou.

Bakugou’s ego problem

We all know why Bakugou has his inferioty complex cause he was praised for the things he was born, how everyone see him as amazing cause he has strong quirk and naturally talented.

Hero society, even UE also does same thing to bakugou and Uraraka is one of those people. Just like everyone; she thinks he is cool, she trust him. But its a problem should be solved.

In novel. Uraraka talks about how bakugou wouldnt be Bakugou, if he wasnt badmouthing. This is how people treated Bakugou, they justify his wrong actions and Uraraka does the same so how can Uraraka can be the one who changes him, if she thinks and treats Bakugou just like others did.

And another scene from novel. Uraraka says she wants to be like Bakugou cause of his crazy sides but again, Bakugou’s ego, his strengh is not something that should be admired.

This is a flaw that needs to be fixed. It shouldnt justified. This is why i dont think Uraraka is good option cause Bakugou needs to be together with someone who wont justify his wrong actions and someone who wont praise his ego, i think.

Even her development after her fight with bakugou is all about strengh, not personal development so i dont think they would be good match.

Their interaction is based on ‘Deku’

Their character interaction is mainly about Deku. Those two dont interact each other, otherwise.

For example;

- Uraraka vs Bakugou; Bakugou thought Deku helped Uraraka with her plan, he even pointed that her self destructive moves  is really similar to Deku’s. And when Uraraka fought with Deku, she thought how she wants to do her best like Deku.

- Uraraka comes to Bakugou to talk about his relationship with Deku cause she cares about Deku. Bakugou treats everyone like this but Uraraka only comes for Deku.

- She even keep warning him and saying stop bullying Deku.

 etc etc

I am not saying that they never talk about something else but what brings them encounter is Deku. This is one of the main reasons i dont ship them cause their relationship is full of Deku.

For example; Uraraka and Iida.

The reason Uraraka and Iida encounter is because they both interested in Deku but after a while, they have relationship outside of Deku.

Like, Uraraka is worrying about Iida’s match (she doesnt do it in Bakugou’s match), she even find Iida funny and they sometimes interact etc etc. I am not saying that Uraraka x Iida should be canon but at least, they have interaction, outside of Deku.

Bakugou will truly grow when he faced with what he did to Deku, so Deku is important here but at least, Bakugou has interactions, outside of Deku, like with Kirishima, kaminari, Jirou etc.

This is why i dislike this ship because its like cutting Deku from the picture, even though he is always there. Ship itself ignore Deku’s existence and affect on characters.

Uraraka can reach out to Bakugou

I think this is reason people like this ship cause they realized somehow Uraraka’s word affects Bakugou’s actions.

But here is this happens;

1- Every person improve when they face with their flaws and take responsibility for their actions.

We all know Bakugou’s ego problem and mostly, how this problem lead him to bully Deku. This is exaclty why Bakugou truly grow when he faces with what he did to Deku.

The reason Uraraka’s word is affecting him isnt about Uraraka’s being special. Its because its about Deku. And Deku is important here cause he is the one who suffered by Bakugou’s ego the most.

2- How to deal with people who have anger issues?

Simple; take a distance. You dont need to endure anyone’s anger, its not worth it which is something that Uraraka does. She wont endure Bakugou’s anger, like Deku did, Krishima did, Todoroki did.

This is why her words are more effective. Its because she doesnt have relationship with him. If she hanging aroung with Bakugou a lot, he would treat her like the way he treats others. But Uraraka wont be with people who dont see her as an indivual. This is why it lead bakugou to see Uraraka as more invidual, compared to others.

So basicaly it works because she doesnt have relationship with him.

And i think, Bakugou isnt really prepared to have healthy relationship right now. This doesnt mean that Bakugou should never togethet with someone. Its just i dont think it should be Uraraka cause i think Bakugou should be together with someone who will only see him as special too.

Btw; Uraraka is selfless and Bakugou is selfish, yes but Uraraka isnt opposite of Bakugou because Bakugou isnt selfish, he is also abusive. Yeah, Uraraka needs to think about herself more but unfortunately, you dont learn to think about yourself by being selfish people. Its not how it works. Being with selfish people only makes you feel more worthless. This is why they dont match as the way people thought about them.

People want to see Uraraka’s having an arc outside of Deku

Its because author always focus on Uraraka’s feelings for Deku but actually, Uraraka’s flaw isnt her feelings. Her flaw is being selfless.

This girl literally stop eating so her family can work less. Problem isnt Izuocha at all. ıts about how Uraraka put other needs on her own.

I think its a problem with writing. Author could focus on this side of Uraraka more. But instead, it kinda looks like her felings is problem, even though its opposite.

Uraraka’s arc is about both learning to be better hero and learning to being onest with herself. First one is happenning with Deku cause he is the one who inspires her. Second will most likely happen with Toga who is Uraraka’s villain foil.

So basically, we can get interesting interactions with Uraraka and story could deal with her arc better but author doesnt prefer it so erasing Uraraka’s feelings for Deku from story wont actually solve anything.

Izuocha

There is already set up for this ship since the beginning. Also their relationship is so nice.

Uraraka and Deku literally enter UE, thanks to kindness they showed each others. It shows they are meant toe be partners who works together.

I know we didnt get development in their relationship for long time but think about how it started; Both Uraraka and Deku’s development stopped when they stopped interactng with each others.

The problem isnt izuocha. Both Deku and Uraraka have their own flaws and for their character development,they also should be together.

Uraraka should learning to be honest with herself and her inspiration for Deku what makes her better hero at first place.

Deku needs to learn to be invidual, before than being hero. He shouldnt be like Allmight, he should have his own life. Deku always has obsession with heroes and Uraraka is important here cause his relationship with her is also outside of being hero. Also she makes him feel worthy.

Basically, being side with each other helps them to grow as characters too.

Not to mention how many scenes we have too many izuocha scenes in manga.

Here; https://twitter.com/Chaizu2/status/1146634421094645761

And Izuocha’s being parallel with shigatoga too.

For more details;

Here;

https://savetenko.tumblr.com/post/616248203846828032/partners-deku-uraraka-shigaraki-toga

And here;

https://savetenko.tumblr.com/post/620471397600378880/meeting-with-the-boy

So whats the point of detroying this nice relationship?

Why did we watch their feelings then?

If its not gonna resolve or if it was just a little pointless thig, then what was the point?

Its true that ızuocha could’ve been writen better, it still can, it has that potential and its up to author but not making this ship canon wont make things better at all.

A story about abuse

I think this is the main reason i dislike this ship as canon.

Bnha is a story about abuse, abusers, abuse victims. How violence affect and destroy people’s minds.

Also, main characters in bnha is being punished for wrong actions and bakugou is one of those main characters too.

For example;

Deku here says Shouto is forgiving Endeavour cause he is good person.

Look at how story punches Deku’s face, even though Deku didnt even mean to hurt Natsuo and its not even weird since Deku is abuse victim too.

And what Bakugou did to Deku isnt even one little wrong word. And he meant to hurt him. Its a huge big wrong thing what Bakugou did to Deku.

So basically, making kacchako canon is like; Bakugou will get redemption, exchange he will be with the person Deku loves.

In real life, things like this can happen but this is not real life, its a story and in stories, actions have consequences, especially in a story about abuse. Of course, Uraraka is her own character but this is not about her.

Its just the idea; Bakugou will get redemption, exchange he will get love interest and that love interest is someone Deku really close. Abuser’s being with abuse victims’s love interest is terrible idea especially in a story about abuse.

Uraraka wouldnt even interact with Bakugou, if it wasnt for Deku’s sake but somehow, she will like Bakugou because???

Its literally like using Deku as a stepping stone cause if Deku wasnt there, Bakugou and Uraraka wouldnt interact and as long as Deku is there/after meeting with Deku, i dont think Uraraka would love Bakugou.

Its also seem like good girl-bad boy cliche we saw in shoujo mangas. It will turn into love triangle (which is i personally hate) and this story isnt even romance series so no point.

Uraraka s type

You see, Uraraka has certain type (just like Toga and many other people). Point is; we all have. Unconciously we chose the people we love cause there are some behaviours we liked and we fall in love with the people who has those behaviours. This is how love works in real life and bnha’s author actually does the same.

Uraraka is hight emotionally girl, she immediately saw something in Deku. Something that makes her interested in him. She realized this, before than Deku cause she is better at reading people. And that type doesnt fit to Bakugou's character at all. So basically loving Deku is also part of Uraraka’s character.

Basically;

After all of this point, there is no point of making Kacchako canon, it would be terrible idea.

‘If author started with Kacchako, would it be good ship?’

It wouldnt cause again and again, it doesnt fit to their characters. Remember she interact with him cause she cares Deku. Uraraka wouldnt bother to deal with Bakugou and she wouldnt find him inetersting. And bakugou wouldnt chase after a girl who doesnt interested in him.

‘If they meet in completely in different situtions, maybe they would like each others or they would be together?’

I dont think so and actually with this logic, almost any ship can happen, for example; like Uraraka x Shigaraki.

This is all my own opinion. Of course, i dont say anything to people who find them cute together cause even though i dislike it, everyone have different tastes. I just explained why Kacchako is bad idea for canon. All that fandom has idea of Kacchako is completely fanon.

And the reason i dislike is also i am kinda scared it can be canon, even though it doesnt make sense but anything can happen, especialy author is Bakugou fan, i wouldnt be surprised every character fall in love with Bakugou at all. Lol.

People make depth analysis about it and actually those analysis are good, except i think people forget why Kacchako didnt become canon at first place. I dont like that ignorance, especially its ignoring Deku’s existence. I also think its so forced, especially fandom make many edits. Its like people completely ignore canon cases happenning in story and they write a new story and making them love each others. But i think Kacchako doesnt really work in canon at all.

There might be things i forget to write but for now, thats it.

[foolgobi65]

i really wish the writers of lucifer hadn't turned chloe and maze's friendship into such an afterthought! like ok:

- when they start in season 2, both of them are in pretty isolated places socially. chloe, already a pretty introverted workaholic, is just newly divorced and has exactly one (1) friend: lucifer. maze has finally split off from lucifer and has two (2) friends: linda and trixie, but for the purposes of this comparison linda really is maze's one friend. maze has just accepted that she's not actually going back to hell, that this time on earth isn't really just a lunch break before they go back to the real world (hell) and so she now has to figure out how to build a real life in LA.

- basically, both maze and chloe are kind of in similar positions in terms of being isolated and really only having a singular overwhelming relationship with someone as opposed to having a network they can rely on so that all their eggs aren't in one basket. you can see where this backfires on both of them throughout the series when linda spends the week not talking to maze after seeing lucifer's face, and when lucifer runs off to vegas and suddenly chloe is stuck with all these feelings she can't express (and crucially can't talk about to him, her best friend.) ofc lucifer and maze's relationship transcends friendship just based on their immense history and is its own weird thing that i also kind of wish they had given more thought to, but w/e.

- enter: maze and chloe's friendship! i think for both maze and chloe, the other person is as "far" as you could get from themselves, but is fascinatingly still someone they can like, respect, love, and be loyal to. for a good while (and this is something i REALLY wish they had maintained) chloe, maze, and dan are basically raising trixie together which takes so much respect and trust that the other person is someone you want having a hand in influencing a kid you love! i think what's interesting is that, unlike lucifer who is trying to answer existential questions about his place/purpose in the universe, maze is really just focused on the people she cares about and having a good time (which is rooted in her doing meaningful work as a bounty hunter.) chloe is someone who pursues duty to the point of self-sacrifice, and obviously her friendship with lucifer helps her loosen up, but the pedestal he places her on/reverence he sometimes feels for her prevents him from really popping that bubble in the same way maze does. also chloe and lucifer's relationship gets SO much more complicated around the time maze enter's chloe's life so the role that lucifer once had to shock chloe out of her comfort zone kind of goes to maze once chloe has to draw some personal boundaries with lucifer.

- i think the key to maze and chloe's friendship is that they're both people who desperately need someone who embodies the other person's best trait. while this tendency isn't always healthy, maze is fundamentally someone very loyal to those she believes deserves it. obviously she's also betrayed people a billion times but at her core she's deeply committed to those she cares about which is something that i can see chloe find really appealing. at this point chloe has spent so much of her life in this weirdly precarious position where, since her dad's death she hasn't been able to fully trust anyone or open up to them. obviously she loves dan, but its clear that even when they're still "good" he doesn't trust her instincts or potential like he should, and when he spent those months gaslighting her the issue for her even beyond the fact that he shot malcom would have been that he didnt support or trust his wife. the appeal of lucifer is that from the beginning he identifies that she's smart and moral with good instincts. he trusts her, and strangely over the season she begins to trust him too! and then he runs off to vegas, etc etc lol. maze's primary loyalty probably isn't to chloe, but we see that to the best of her capacity she wants chloe to be happy -- she gets the prison warden killed, she "tries" and then really does listen to chloe venting about lucifer, attends the parent night chloe was stressed about, sets aside her grudge with lucifer to find chloe.

- in turn, chloe's best trait is her ability to accept people as they are and see their potential. of course she doesnt really have that many friends, but the people she is attracted to are all works in progress (dan is obvious, as are lucifer and maze lmao, but there's also ella who confesses something very personal and scary to chloe and gets a hug in return, and even charlotte who chloe's had clashes with both as charlotte and Mom for years but still gets the benefit of the doubt.) maze does have to change when she comes to live with chloe and trixie, but we see trixie grow up heavily influenced by maze in ways that makes it clear that chloe must genuinely like maze, or those influences like the handshake and the passion for gore and the knife training wouldnt have been allowed. we know that the reason maze is so loyal to lucifer is that he was the first person to ever accept her for who she was unconditionally, without shame or judgment. we see that for lucifer chloe is that person, especially because she sees his potential for growth just as she sees maze's. because she doesnt have preconcieved notions of what they're supposed to be she only sees them as people going through a difficult period of growth and supports them as best she can: reminding maze that they're friends, worrying about her in canada, trusting her with trixie who is the most important person in chloe's life.

- of course, chloe and maze have lucifer and linda but narratively lucifer and linda become so much MORE for chloe and maze. the show sunk linda/maze lmao but linda's clearly the adult maze cares most about just as lucifer is chloe's. and for both in s3 this person they each place so much of themselves into suddenly hurts them and they both spiral. i think there was real potential for chloe and maze to become each other's support and develop into a really steady, enduring friendship in contrast to the chaos of their individual romances (you will NEVER convince me that triangle was about amenadiel rather than linda lmao.) even post s3, they don't really address that maze really hurt chloe by pushing her towards pierce, and that chloe hurt maze by lying to her. i really think there could have been a lot of growth from maze going back to living with chloe and trixie after making full ammends and chloe realizing that actually, yes she can deal with this and it isn't that scary and then the tragedy of her maybe missing her shot with lucifer becomes more stark. we see chloe and maze teaming up in the first episode of 5A but then they blow that up too! i get that chloe needs space and its clear they're both using the other as placeholders for the people they really want, but there's no reason that they couldnt have come back together later and re-established their friendship on screen. obv they wouldnt work together after lucifer comes back, but to me this is where i believe they should go back to living together. without that, maze's connection to trixie in terms of what they can show on screen becomes tenuous and chloe's home life just becomes less interesting/worthwhile to see bc it'd just be her or maybe her with trixie. without that, it feels like we just see a lot of chloe either at work or in relation to lucifer (bc thats the best bang for your buck in terms of interaction!) we do get to see maze with linda, which is nice, but idk just feels like a step back from early s3 when maze felt more embedded in a community of people who liked, accepted, and cared about her wellbeing.

- i think one of the issues is that chloe and maze's friendship might have seemed like a knock off of their "main" relationships with lucifer and linda bc they have similar dynamics with them, but idk! there's a sense of fun that we get from their friendship that we dont really see from the main pairings because those are so serious and passionate and the main mechanisms by which the 4 grow so there isn't as much room for the lighter stuff. i know i said that chloe sees the potential for growth but she's not really pushing maze to talk about her feelings. she's doing the dishes maze won't, smiling at maze and trixie's handshake, shrugging off the fact that maze is throwing knives at their rented walls. maze and chloe create space for each other to be seen as themselves, good or bad, in ways that linda and lucifer can't for whatever reason. they don't really push each other, just let the other person be. it wouldnt be the ideal dynamic if they were the only person in each other's lives, but i think its vital to have someone in your life who can, in chloe's case, gently push you outside of your comfort zone and in maze's case offer acceptance, friendship, and trust.

idk this is just going in circles as i repeat the same points over and over and over but i really wish they had put more thought into sustaining the maze and chloe friendship throughout s4 and s5 because it would have brought out notes in both of them narratively that i think are lost otherwise. also its just sad for trixie that someone who was basically part of her family who she was living with is just...not there anymore and that's never addressed. : (

[earthbison]

You ever love someone so much that it hurts? I mean as in, there’s this friend I had, and we kinda of lost touch a few years back for no reason really, never argued, never fought, she was pretty amazing, probably the first time I realized I liked women in the same way I would for a man or any person really. Anyway with this whole COVID thing going on, I tried reconnecting, I’ll skip to where it’s at now, but I’ll say it started off rough, but is a lot better now. With that said, even with them sounding like they’d be down to reignite our friendship, I still feel like it’s me who’s putting most of the effort in. I’m not asking them to match me, I get that they may be busy, but considering they ghosted me the first time for all those years, I always feel I have to go the extra mile in my long messages to them which they say I’m not bothering and they don’t mind, and that they’re sorry for this and that, but I’m not looking for an apology, I never was, I just want them to hug me with their words again like they use to, I know that’s selfish and honestly not sure why I’m sending this to an artist who’s stuff I adore, I guess it’s because I’m scared I’ll wear them down if I keep talking like this to them about it, I haven’t overtly said “I feel sad because all this” I’ve just been sending gifts and words of encouragement their way, which is probably too much, I guess I just have this fear that eventually they’ll ghost me again if I don’t hear back from them soon, maybe it’s a lack of trust in them, or myself? I don’t know, I’ve been such an open book about how I had a crush on them back then, how much I love them, an all that, I don’t want to be overwhelming but I don’t want to feel hurt either? It’s funny because whenever they do reply, my heart feels so much better, gosh I know, I sound so desperate and needy, I’ve been a bit better at lower it down, an internally I’m not as depressed as I was about it, though I still am. I just want them to be real with me, I was about to breakdown over it on Monday, I was gonna tell them how sad I’ve been feeling and they finally replied before I hit send, they apologized again, an I feel like such an asshole because that’s not what I’m asking for or want them to feel, I just love them, idk why I’m rambling anymore, I know I’m super shitty in all this, I totally get it, I just don’t want send this anywhere near them.

Uh, wow Anon. I almost feel bad replying to this because I have to publish it. You may be better off sending me direct messages so we could keep this private for your sake.

Anyway, I’m not really sure where to start with this. Your story has notes that resonate with me in multiple ways. I lost my childhood best friend that I also realized I had feelings for when we were children (two women as well.) We never reconnected however, and I doubt we ever will. I’ll try to give you my best advice, based on what I’ve learned from those experiences.

I suppose, number one would be don’t assume everything is about you. I don’t say this in a way that I believe you’re being intentionally selfish, but rather I believe we can get so caught up in our feelings that we forget that the people we love and cherish so much have other relationships and a whole life outside of their bond and relationship with us. If you become too focused on how she’s not reciprocating things in a way that would make you feel more comfortable or loved, you can... distort your heart, of sorts. Feeding that insecurity will drive you to treat this person like an object unintentionally- as a thing to have and keep- rather than a person, who should be respected and given space when needed. This is absolutely vital, and one of the many reasons I lost my old best friend.

Here’s the reality of it. Chances are you will wear her down if you’re constantly looking for reassurance or even bombarding her with gifts. You shouldn’t be putting all of that onto one person because it’s exhausting for one person to have to “keep you afloat” so to speak. Your insecurity about her disconnecting from you again could in of itself drive her away if you’re not careful. Quite honestly I’ve thought about this extensively as it would be a similar scenario if my old friend came back to me. You have to understand though that people have lives outside of you and thusly so you should have a life outside of her. If you guys click again naturally then it will happen, if it doesnt- it doesnt. Keep focused on multiple aspects of your life. Things you enjoy, things you study, your job, different friends, etc etc and the rest will fall into place. It’s already great that you’ve spoken some, but if she’s quiet try to understand why that may be. It’s okay to reach out once in a while but don’t try to pry personal details out of her either, because it may be none of your business. Trust that she may be going through something, and if it’s something to do with you she’ll come forward and talk to you about it, and if it’s not then respect her space and her privacy.

Which brings me to my second point, don’t chase people. I know it took me a long time to understand this. You always hear that “if somethings important to you go after it” while at the same time you hear things like “if you love something set it free” and they contradict each other. When it comes to relationships, it’s 50/50 no matter what. You can’t push 75 and hope somehow it will work out while they’re only giving 25. It’s not fair to you. Really, that’s where self love starts.

I’m not perfect by any means. I still check on my old friend from time to time but I’m being firm with myself from now on to no longer contact them as they have stressed that they don’t want me to. I worry about her still as I know she has health issues but I’m trying to respect a boundary- as should you. Personal boundaries are fundamental.

Just be happy that you’ve established a reconnection and don’t over think anything else right now. Think about her perspective and do other things to ease your anxious thoughts about your relationship rather than bombard her with text.

Hope that helps some (and thanks for being a fan of my art lol)

[ivyseavey]

Cry For Love (J.M.)

A/N- this is based off the song "cry for love" by harry hudson.

Warnings- implied sex, cursing

no relationship. just sex. if we were at my place, he had to be gone by morning. if i was at his place, i had to be gone by morning.

thats how it had been almost every night for the past three months, and it was working fine.

it was 11:24. harry was 24 minutes late, and he hadn't answered your texts.

"you're late. why?" you say when he walks in, and closes the door.

"sorry. the guys wanted to talk." jonah says.

"about what? everything okay?" you ask.

"why do you care? we're not friends, y/n.v he says, chuckling.

"my bad." you say sarcastically, and start walking to the bathroom.

"y/n, wait. im sorry. its just.. you know? the deal." he says, grabbing your arm. fuck the deal you think to yourself. cliche, right? you're falling for your fuck-buddy. you turn around, and he pins you against the wall. he starts kissing your lips, and down to your neck. "what're ya thinkin about?" he says, sucking on your neck. you get a littlw confused, because you guys didn't usually talk.

"nothing." you say, lying. he pulls his head back, and looks at you.

"you're so beautiful." he says. what the hell is going on, you think to yourself. he never compliments you, why start now?

(okay so ion do smut, so pretend they already did it lmao)

you lay back on your bed, and he lays there with you. he had tells you his alarm is set for 5:00 AM to be gone, so you guys go to sleep, on different sides of the bed.

6 hrs later

you wake up at 6:30, and reach for your phone, but something stops you from stretching too far. no. he broke the deal. you turn your head to see none other than jonah. confused, you pry him off of you, and go take a shower. when you get back, jonah was gone, and left nothing but a note saying, "at the studio with the boys. ill see you tonight ;)" why the note? you wonder. what has gotten into him? you start doing your makeup and call your bestfriend, sabrina, on facetime.

"whats up?" she says. you grab the note and put it up to the camera.

"what the hell is this?!" you say.

"oh shit!" she says, laughing. "he's falling for you. do you like him?"

"that is NOT part of the deal!" you say, applying your mascara.

"why don't you go ask him?" sabrina suggests.

"never. the guys dont like me."

"what makes you think that?" she asks.

"when he told the guys about me and our deal, they told him it wasn't a good idea and apparently it's slutty." i inform her.

"dipshits. it's their loss. you're going to that studio, whether you like it or not."

2 hours later

you walk up the steps of their studio, and knock on the door. to your surprise, their music producer opened the door.

"where are the boys?" you say, in a rush.

"they went to the skate park to film for trust fund baby" he says. "y/n what are you doing?" he says with the do i even want to know tone of voice.

"thank you!" you say, not answering the question, and jumping in your car. on the way to the park, you start thinking. i love him, you think to yourself. you get overwhelmed and anxious about what's fixing to happen, and you start crying. you dry your tears, and get out of the car. you walk over there, and all the boys, camera crew, etc. are walking out.

"daniel! where's jonah?" you ask, your voice still shaky.

"he's grabbing his skateboard?" he says, confused. you smile at him, and quickly walk in the park. you see a comepletely empty park, exept for jonah, grabbing his skateboard, and facing the other way.

"why did you stay?" you yell through the wind, tears begining to fall from your eyes. he stands back up, but doesnt turn to you. he stays looking away.

"my alarm didnt go off." he says, lying.

"yes it did. i heard you stop it." you say bluffing, knowing damn well you were sound asleep.

"y/n." he says, turning around to face you. "you need to go."

"why are you mad at me?" you say, as he quickly walks towards you.

"im not mad. im scared, okay? is that what you wanted to hear?" he says, clenching his jaw.

"why are you scared?" you ask, now that he's standing practically ontop of you.

"i love you, alright? i always have." he says, relieved to get that off his chest. "i was afraid if i told you, you would get rid of the deal, and not want to see me anymore." he admits.

"fuck the deal." you say smiling and leaning into to kiss him.

[mightytwogunkid]

MCU Winterhawk/West Coast Avenger AU

I had an idea for a MCU west coast avengers/winterhawk AU, but I have to explain the AU first

 half of it isn’t that important to the plot but

So it’s MCU based  but then there’s a heavy canon divergence and some things are more 616 based

The first difference is obviously that Clint is a lot more like his more recent 616 self (think Fraction Hawkeye, Kate’s run as hawkeye, Occupy Avengers, West Coast Avengers, Captain America & Hawkeye,  etc)

Also, Jarvis is a butler, not an A.I,  since we don’t care if people think he’s too much like Alfred,  but  Tony  worked on an A.I. (or two   one J.A.R.V.I.S based,  the other Friday based)

As for the events, everything happens the same up until Age of Ultron,  where Wanda tries to get to Clint first, but Clint uses his super secret power a.k.a adopt stray, like he had on Natasha years before,  the rest of the movie doesnt happen

So 1. Clint doesn’t have a secret family hidden in a farm, 2.Ultron is not built 3. Bruce is not lost 4. PIETRO LIVES

There’s a small difference  with Captain America: Winter Soldier and that is since we arent constrained by actors schedules,  that clint scene happened

Not that it makes a big difference in the grand scheme of the AU, but it appeases my mind

Tony does end up building Vision, but since AoU didn’t really happen  and wanda didn’t put that vision of the future in his head, he’s taking it more slow  and ends up using one of the A.I he was working on as the base for Vision.

The team works together, they look for Bucky, fight against Hydra, A.I.M. Doctor Doom, Aliens  etc

Steve told Tony that bucky had killed his parents and Tony came to terms that Bucky was under hydra’s control

Also not that it makes a difference but 1. Peter is 23  and not a high school teenager, 2. the x-men and 3. deadpool exist and 4. So do the Fantastic Four  and 5. Pietro mostly works with the x-men 6. Falcon’s Red Bird is an actual bird  6. Doctor Strange is like 70 years old in this AU, his car accident happened not because he was distracted by a screen, but he was reading some notes. He doesn’t age, so he’s forever 35

Oh and Pietro and Wanda are ROMANI

Okay so about Civil War, when ross comes knocking on Avengers Towers, Bruce looks at him in the eyes and tell him “Harlem was YOUR fault” and also “Pretend all you want, you haven’t changed. For you, it was always about having the power controlled by you.”  and ross goes away

And to ensure he doesn’t come back, Tony hires attorney Matt Murdock to find a loophole to make the avengers not-privately-owned

Then, Bruce and Thor  are bff (or boyfriends if you prefer) and go on a space adventure, Thor goes back to Asgard and Bruce tries to go back to earth but ends up on Sakaar. Thor Ragnarok happens

Then infinity war, so Thanos kills the people on the Asgard ship (including/especially Loki (i have plans for him, just wait)), he also kills Gamora.  And Visions mind stone is destroyed,  but since the Avengers + the Guardians + Doc Strange + Wakanda + the X-men+the Fanatstic Four+ the Defenders + Frank Castle + Phil’s SHILED team are all working together as a team, they defeat the purple grape.

Now more important to the AU, a lot of this part is based on the Young Avengers comics, but still based in the MCU

After the battle au Wakanda, half the Avengers retire. Harley Keener comes in and becomes Iron Lad. He basically takes the place of  Nate/kang the conqueror as kid  from the comics

“[...] he downloads the remnants of the destroyed Vision's operating system into his armor. This reveals a fail-safe plan created by the android to reform the Avengers should they disband or fall in action by locating the next generation of Avengers [...] Using this plan, [Harley] assembles his new team, the Young Avengers”

Harley recruits Teddy, the son of og Captain Marvel (Mar-vell) and a Skrull princess (this au is made before the Captain Movie comes out, so we don’t know yet if Mar-vell dies  and if he does, then when but this is an AU so we just say that he wasnt dead around 2002), and Billy (who is, along with Tommy, the soul son of Wanda and Vision)), Eli, the grand son of a soldier who had received a trial of a super soldier serum. They later crash into Kate Bishop, who joins them and becomes Hawkeye. Together they bust Tommy out of juvie

Shuri is able to save Vision, but his memory/life experience is  none existent, so he’s given a kid/teen body and he calls himself Jonas

Then most of the Avengers come back to being Avengers  and Steve decides that the Young Avengers need training and supervision and names Clint as the leader/mentor of the YA (both because he thinks Clint is the best for the jobs but also to shut him up (Clint is always arguing with Captain America about how he could lead the team better than Steve))

Then most of the Young Avengers have to leave for College and they all decide to go to California together, Clint goes with them  and they rebrand to  the West Coast Avengers. Except Eli retires and stays in New York with his grandpa.  Tony gives them a mansion they make their home/headquarters andgives them Jarvis (the human) (because can you really trust Clint to take care of himself and a bunch of college kids?) (and also by then tony has already finished the other A.I which, as you already know, he named FRIDAY)

Then America punches her way into the dimension and joins the team.

And since Scott lives in the West coast too, he and Hope work with the WCA avengers sometimes too.  They also found out that Cassie Lang, Scott daughter, had powers because she used to sneak and used Pym particles  so now she can size shift.  She hangs out a lot with the WCA and joins then on missions sometimes  but she’s like 16 (she argues that that’s the Age the YA started at tho  but her mom is still protective of her)

Oh and then Thor brought in Loki who was reborn/reincarnated/resurrected as a kid, Billy aged him  to a teen to make him more powerful

So all that was the world building,  now we get to the premises of the fic

All this time, Bucky was still in hiding, in Romania, trying to figure out who he was. He’s no longer afraid of who he was, gets in contact with Steve. They have a tearful reunion.

Bucky gets along with Tony and Tony works on his arm. Tony works with Reed Richards (from the F4), Prof X (from the X-men) and Doctor Strange to ensure that Bucky is 100% free of Hydra (aka make sure the Trigger words don’t work ).  (stupid note aside,  Namor sees the four of them working together without him, thinks they’re excluding him from the Illuminati, goes to the King of the Inhumans  who just ignore him , So Namor ends up planning revenge with Doom/making out with him)

Bucky still first weird around the Avengers  and the relationship with Steve is weird because although Steve still gets into fights, he doesn't need protecting,  Bucky has yet to find a purpose.  So Steve sends Bucky to the one the guy who can understand Bucky the most, regarding mind control and also has a super power, which is “adopting strays”. In other words he assigns Bucky to the West Coast Avengers.

Which work out great because Clint is no longer the only full-time adult on the team (other than Jarvis,  and Jarvis  would say he’s the only adult there if you asked him) and Bucky has another blond accident-prone disaster he can protect.

So Bucky and clint get to know each other, bond, be kind of Dads(™), and fall in love

Oh and i didn’t say but Lucky’s there

[blackpjensen]

Dealing with Anxiety as Season Kicks Off

Worried about spring? Not feeling that calm before the storm? Many landscape professionals face anxiety going into the busy season.

Take LawnSite member AL’s, for instance. He says, “I know … a lot of us have the ‘blues,’ but I get bad anxiety as well. It’s like I have too much time on my hands and no money coming in and the ‘what ifs’ start rolling through my head. Not to mention thinking about the upcoming tax bill. Every day I see about a half dozen trucks pulling mowers go down the road. How? How are they cutting already (early February)? I know it’s been a little warm, but really? None of my clients have called. What if they’re dropping me for 2017? Am I going to be starting from scratch again this year? I can only wonder until the season hits. I want to run a successful landscaping company. I think repeat clients year after year are required to achieve that goal. I also feel like I’m in a hole, or viscous cycle, that I cant get out of.”

Here’s the advice fellow LawnSite members provided.

johnnyflyboy: I wake up in the middle of the night and sweat everything: employees, who’s renewing, who’s canceling, it goes on and on. Best cure is to stay busy, fix equipment, walk neighborhoods hanging door hangers. It always works out. Friends ask why I stress out? It’s actually part of why you succeed, If you worry, it’s because you care.

EquipSpecsTech: All the successful landscape company owners I know solve this problem by staying active, never allowing for downtime; by doing routine maintenance, prepping equipment for the the new landscape season to come, and keeping their business evolving through developing new marketing strategies, maintaining good standing customer relationships, etc. Even when income is low, there are always things that can be done to ensure the continued success of a thriving landscape business.

Mdirrigation: Worry doesnt change anything; actions do. First a seasonal business has to make enough to cover the slow time. Solve that problem by not having a slow time. Go out and find work. So far this year I havent had snow, so on cold days I am in the shop doing maintenance.

EquipSpecsTech: For those who are really ambitious, you can try to advertise and push for customers to have tree work done in the very early spring months. In many areas, trees are still dormant, making the work simpler and easier to perform. I suggest becoming an ISA Certified Arborist along with following through with your state certification requirements for tree work. This way, you are not limited in what services you can offer. Tree work is an extremely lucrative trade that can really save you when winter business is slow. It’s all about selling the idea to your customers to have this type of work performed during those winter months. Also, check out another LawnSite thread title “winter game changers” for ideas.

KLC Lawns: Lot of good info here. Every winter I build on ideas that kept me semi-busy. This year I’m doing anything possible now that I would do in spring so that when spring comes I’m ready for new customers. Call up your customers instead of waiting on them to call. I’ve been emailing them and touching base; they appreciate that. I got a call two days ago saying they hadn’t heard from their lawn guy so they figured he dropped them and wanted me to come give them a bid. Figure out your advertising, call clients, pull your trailer around and pretend you’re busy, prepare for next season, build or do anything that you think will be beneficial to your business in the summer, e.g. website, advertisement, maintenance, organization, preparing routes, etc.

JMK26: I have anxiety. It’s a horrible feeling getting stuck in a spiral of worry. Even if there isn’t anything to worry about, it will hit. If it’s actually anxiety, it isn’t as easy as keeping busy or geting your mind off of it. You can take tests for anxiety. It is highly treatable.

Mark Oomkes: Keeping busy is good, but so is downtime. Taking time off and destressing is very important. I usually have it twice a year: before winter and before spring. Enough work? Too much work? Enough help? Not enough help? Too much snow? Not enough snow? Will the employees stick out the season? Always a problem in low snow years. Prayer, trust and exercise have helped me the past few months.

Weeze: It’s easy to get anxiety in this business. it hits me most when equipment breaks down. i want my equipment to always work and be there when I need it. When something breaks down, I start to worry. I think, “Well what if my backup breaks down too? How much is this repair gonna cost me on my main mower?” No equipment = no customers = no money. Somehow it always works out though. You just have to push all the worry out of your mind and just go with the flow.

For more ideas on fighting spring anxiety, read “Who else gets anxiety?” on LawnSite.

The post Dealing with Anxiety as Season Kicks Off appeared first on Turf.

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