#like they’re just checking off a box on a ‘relationships to go’ checklist?

[deus-ex-mona]

ok yk what. now that i’ve had some time to process nghy canon, considering the current pacing of gen retcon, i think their next step is as ✨clear as day✨

i really like seeing them happy together, but i truly do think that they should divorce and either live the rest of their lives as single besties; partners in hero/heroine-isms, but better off as just friends, or go their separate ways for a bit and get back together when they’re a little older and wiser, staying together for good this time around, as each other’s first and last boyfriend/girlfriend

[the--blackdahlia]

Beetlejuice x Fem Reader SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He is super affection, once you let him be. Holding hands, cuddling you from behind, other non pervy ways of showing his affection (though there are plenty of pervy ways too).

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He is like the ultimate wingman. If you aren't dating him, he's going to try to find you the best date possible. He has a checklist and your future partner has to check each box. One not checked? They get the scary face.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He loves cuddling you, especially during movies. He likes to squeeze behind you to cuddle when you're lying on the couch, which somehow ends up with you on the floor and finding a new way to cuddle with him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He's a little confused but he's got the spirit. Cooking is hard for him since he hasn't had to eat in years besides the bugs that he just eats raw. But he does remember some recipes from the old country that he can still get the ingredients for. As for cleaning, the man thinks spiderwebs are a year-round decore piece. Safe to say, you do most of the cleaning.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If he didn't really care about the relationship, he'd just send a note on Dante's Inferno stationary. But, if he really loves someone, really cares for them, he'll make up a big elaborate lie to try to save their feelings, even if it really hurts to do so.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I think it's pretty obvious Beej would be willing to get married if you even so much as looked at a wedding dress as you walked past a bridal shop.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

To everyone else, he's a diamond, he's a coconut. He's a diamond coconut. Pretty much closed off. But to you, he is the sweetest, softest guy you know.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He'll hug you all the time. Sometimes to show people that you're his, sometimes to remind himself that you're there with him, sometimes so he can tape a note to your back for you to find later. The possibilities are endless.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take him a minute to get up the courage. The last woman he said I love you to poisoned him and tried to eat his soul. But once he's sure that you're not a part of some soul-sucking death cult, he'll be saying it all the time.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Oh he gets super jealous. He knows you would never cheat on him, but he can't trust the other people who look your way. He knows you're drop-dead gorgeous, but they could direct their eyes elsewhere. And heaven forbid you have to go out with a guy, even if it's your brother. You're going to have a minijuice in your purse.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He has different kisses for different things. Forehead when he wants to let you know he's proud of you. Neck kisses to spark something up. Nose when you're being cute and you damn well know it. The list goes on in on. He won't ever admit it, but he has a ticklish spot right behind his ear that if you kiss it makes him giddy.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He doesn't have a lot of experience with children, outside of Lydia. Usually, if he sees a child in the afterlife, he knows that there is a very sad reason they are there. And he just doesn't need that baggage in his life.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He doesn't sleep, and he knows you are not a morning person. He'll usually make you too strong of coffee, and he has learned how to not burn things in the toaster.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Movie nights are frequent. He likes it the best when you make the popcorn because you always add extra butter the way he likes it. He really likes scary movie night, because you usually cuddle closer to him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's a pretty open book. There are a few things he's not big on discussing, like his ex-wife, and how he came to work for Juno before branching out on his own. He will eventually get to that. But in the meantime, you get some of the grossest details you wish he would keep to himself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

You know that GIF of Hades catching on fire and then saying he's cool? That's literally Beej. He'll get mad easily, especially when things aren't going his way, but he also cools down quick. He rarely gets mad at you, except for the one time you accidentally put his suit jacket in with the color cycle. Not like he doesn't have magic to just bleach it or anything.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers small details that you don't even remember telling him. He has like a calendar for a brain with all the important dates. Who needs a smartphone when you have a Beetlejuice?

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is the first time you told him you loved him. It wasn't forced, it was just you, telling him how much you cared for him. It was the moment he knew you'd be together in life and death.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is super protective. If you have to walk anywhere alone, you're never alone. You've got a pocketjuice. He has instructed you to say his name three times at even the hint of danger, and even had you record it on your phone in the event you can't talk. Nothing is going to happen to his girl if he can avoid it.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He does try really hard. He hasn't had anyone to do this for, and he's always got Lydia whom he can pester until she agrees to help him.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Eating bugs is one of your biggest icks when it comes to him. You put up with a lot, but the bugs are where you cross the line. Especially when he tries to kiss you after.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He doesn't really care what he looks like. He thinks he's hot stuff. But he still melts when you call him your handsome boy.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Yes. Whenever he gets called away on a job, he feels like he leave a part of him behind. He just doesn't feel right being without you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He's a little insecure about his height, but he doesn't mind you calling him your short king, or asking him for help reaching something on a higher shelf. Makes him feel needed.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He does not like floral scents. Makes him think of old ladies that have come through the afterlife or old homes he's had jobs at. He makes sure that you don't have floral perfume. But fruit, he's ok with.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He doesn't really have to sleep, but he likes to lay in bed with you, cuddling you. It helps when it's hot out, or when your body is super achy. And he feels close to you.

[physalian]

Character Types: The “Likable Autistic”

Already gave a tiny breakdown of this kind of character in Yet another 5 Character Types The World Needs More Of where I had this to say:

Neurodivergence in media is often the butt of the joke. You like these characters in spite of their “quirks” or you find them incredibly annoying because their “quirks” are their entire personality. Usual representations are arrogant and anti-social narcissists who lack compassion. Shockingly, autism is a spectrum, and a very far cry from sociopathy. No one trait should define an entire character, and that includes neurodivergence.

Best character I could think of that does neurodivergence justice without being “cute” and infantilized is Lilo Pelekai, and I’ve posted about her.

Today I’m going to put my money where my mouth is and break down how I approached this kind of character in Eternal Night, with Markus.

Disclaimer:

He is based off me and my experiences, not meant to be a blanket representation of the DSM-5 checklist of autism, nor did I set out to write an autistic character. I set out to write one who’s neurodivergent, and he happens to be a lot like me, and I happen to have a lot of autistic traits (not officially diagnosed) but also a bunch of others, because he’s a person with nuance, not a walking agenda.

Anyway.

—

My goal with writing him, first and foremost, was not to make another Sheldon Cooper. One is enough. I wanted a “character who is also neurodivergent” not “the neurodivergent character” and when neurotypical (and usually straight, white, and cis) creators want to check off boxes on their diversity list, they tend to think of the latter counting as the whole personality.

Markus still fits the mold of the quiet introverted smart guy, but he’s capable of empathy, is the voice of reason to counterbalance his love interest’s “feelings first” decision-making, a bit of a badass able to hold his own in a fight, and witty when he wants to be, as not much intimidates him. And he’s gay and demisexual because I felt like it. Special interests? Cats and vampirism.

Without spoiling my own book too much, when I was sending it out to beta readers, I had a few come back who made it clear they did not like Markus and did not understand him. Reader: These were neurotypicals who needed me to slap an AUTISM label on Markus’s forehead to give his decisions a pass. Which, to me, meant I did a pretty good job writing him correctly.

He’s the obligate doctor of the coven, a former mortician’s apprentice who became a vampire to sate curiosity: He wanted to know what death felt like. His room doesn’t have a bed, just sheets in a pile in the corner and the rest of the space taken up by piles of books, various knicknacks to fiddle with, and all his medical tools (his favorite is the stethoscope).

Making him/giving him a love interest wasn’t planned. Things Happened and Opportunity arose to give both a neurodivergent character, and a demisexual character, a happy, healthy, communicative relationship, and I just couldn’t pass it up. Is he wish-fulfillment for me? 100%.

But so many times I see these characters and, if they do even have a romance, they’re always takers. They “take” in the partnership, but have nothing to give back. The writers insist that there’s something lovable about them without actually writing them doing loving things, that their person, usually a woman, tolerates (usually) him, because… she feels bad, or they can’t write women, or she’s settling because she couldn’t get anyone else, or the only thing competent about him is that he’s decent in bed.

Usually he’s rude and selfish and only thinks of himself, and she bends over backwards doing all the emotional labor, all the “adult” relationship things like home keeping, mothering him not unlike the deadbeat “everyman” protagonist. He’ll insult her and play it off as brutal honesty, he’ll only talk about himself and his interests and cut her out of things the second she becomes a hindrance to his plans, and he overshares about their intimacy to friends, oblivious to how embarrassed she is because he doesn't understand that some things aren't meant to be shared (you know this is really starting to sound like a standard dickish man just with an "ND" sticker like that absolves their behavior of any accountability....).

In essence, they’re “together” but only because the writer says so. They wax poetic about how great she is for him, but have zero supporting evidence for why he's good for her (which is a lot of male protagonists, to be fair).

I didn’t want to do that with Markus and his lover. They’re a team, through and through. Markus’s filtered pragmatism is still honesty-above-feelings, but it’s not brutal honesty. He can ignore “feeling” in the name of the logical solution, no matter how unpopular the logical solution may be. His partner, in turn, is aaaalll “feeling” and quickly Markus’s fiercest defender without infantilizing him or belittling him or stepping on his toes. Markus gives back in his own ways, too, in taking meticulous care of his lover’s tools and weapons among other spoilery things.

Being on the ace and autism spectrum is pretty common, not breaking any new ground there, but I thought the combination of Markus being demi and his lover being a sex-favorable ace was fun. When he got nervous around approaching sex, I got to write him stimming with his favorite comfort objects (his various vintage medical instruments), seemingly random different hardlines on intimacy he likes vs won’t go near, how overstimulation can ruin everything, and how one can feel like they’re wrong or broken for not liking sex—in his case, he just took a while to figure out an emotional attachment is a necessary ingredient for his enjoyment (and, you know, somebody who gives a shit and is patient and attentive).

Markus is also in stark opposition to his lover’s other love interest (this book kind of has a love-pentagon going on). He’s mature and independent and knows exactly what he wants in a relationship, to a person who’ll bend over backward trying to make everyone happy at his own expense.

He also is new to this “love” thing and he does have his emotional shortcomings. He's unable to understand why XYZ is so important or so meaningful or why Person F continues to repeat such-and-such behavior that clearly only brings them grief and upset or why Person G continues to shoot themselves in the foot. His pragmatism does come at inopportune moments and it frustrates other characters who aren’t looking for a solution, just room to vent.

Markus doesn’t get a ton of screen time and only a couple narrating POVS, but I took every chance I could get to write what I think is both a multifaceted character and relationship to admire.

—

Sooooo, if you’d like to read him in full HD technicolor, you can pick up a copy of Eternal Night of the Northern Sky in ebook or paperback.

[2woke2sleep]

The Truth About Modern Dating: Men Aren’t “Spoilt for Choice”—It’s a Myth

Let’s talk about something that keeps coming up in dating conversations: the claim that men are “spoilt for choice.” It’s a catchy phrase, but is it actually true? Spoiler alert: for the majority of men, it’s not. Let’s break it down.

1. The Myth of Endless Options

Sure, social media and dating apps make it look like everyone has endless options. But here’s the reality:

• On dating apps, women swipe right far less often than men. Most men don’t get matches, let alone meaningful connections.

• Women tend to focus on a small percentage of men (the top 10%—think tall, wealthy, attractive), leaving the majority of guys out of the equation.

So no, most men aren’t drowning in options. If anything, they’re struggling to even get noticed.

2. Women’s Standards Are Sky-High

Let’s be real: women are allowed to have standards (and they should!), but sometimes those standards are so high they exclude most men. Think about it:

• Height? Only 14% of men in the U.S. are over 6 feet tall, but that’s often seen as a baseline requirement.

• Income? Many women want a man who’s financially stable—but at 25 or 30, most men are still building their careers.

The result? A lot of great guys get overlooked because they don’t check every box on an unrealistic checklist.

3. Looks Aren’t Everything

Here’s a hard truth: being beautiful or having a “beat face” and curves might grab attention, but it doesn’t automatically make someone a good partner. Men want more than just looks—they value loyalty, emotional support, shared values, and someone who genuinely cares about them as a person.

If you’re only bringing physical appearance to the table while expecting the world from your partner, you might need to rethink what makes a relationship work long-term.

4. Men Aren’t Avoiding Commitment for No Reason

A lot of women say men “don’t want commitment” or “act too young” even as they approach their 30s—but let’s unpack that:

• Men often delay commitment because they’re focused on building their careers and financial stability first. They don’t want to settle down until they feel ready to provide for a family or meet societal expectations of success.

• Unlike women, who face pressure due to biological clocks or societal expectations around age, men know they can date younger women later in life if they choose to wait.

This isn’t immaturity—it’s practicality. Men want to be ready before they commit.

5. The Illusion of Social Media

Social media has created this false sense that everyone has endless options—but it’s mostly smoke and mirrors:

• Men see countless attractive women online but rarely have access to them in real life.

• Women get constant attention from men online but often dismiss most of them as unsuitable partners.

It’s not that either gender has infinite options—it just looks that way because we’re all scrolling through highlight reels instead of living in reality.

6. Accountability Goes Both Ways

Here’s where things get tricky: society often holds men accountable for their flaws while letting women off the hook. For example:

• Men are told to improve themselves—get in shape, earn more money, be emotionally available—but how often do we ask women to reflect on their own shortcomings?

• Many women assume they’re inherently “good partners,” but being kind, supportive, and emotionally mature takes effort—and no one is perfect by default.

If we want healthier relationships, accountability needs to go both ways.

So What Does This All Mean?

The idea that “men are spoilt for choice” is just not true for most guys out there—and claiming otherwise ignores the struggles many men face in the dating world:

• They’re judged harshly for not meeting inflated standards.

• They’re expected to bring everything to the table while being told their needs (like loyalty or emotional support) don’t matter as much.

• They’re navigating a world where social media creates false expectations on both sides.

If you’re tired of hearing these blanket statements about how “easy” men have it in dating—rethink it! The truth is far more complicated than Instagram likes and TikTok trends make it seem.