#like those two just offer themselves to fun choreography and stage effects

[meteorocky]

astro member's genres according to their dttsr solos

mj - sentimental memories

jinjin - working man's jig

eunwoo - sweet love pop

moonbin - sensual lo-fi

rocky - musical number

sanha - chill pop

[missaureus]

EXplOration in Manila Pt. 2

 My roommates finally arrived past 1AM. I was super drained but I still managed to put on my bear nail stickers while waiting for them. The moment I opened the door we were already squealing because we haven’t seen each other since my Davao vacation on January that year. We chatted randomly and eventually dozed off. We only had a few hours to be physically prepared for a hectic day ahead.

The concert proper was still at night but we scheduled to go to the mall area at 10AM to distribute freebies under Team Jongin PH. I was wearing heels and my feet were already crying. Obviously, I am not used to it and it was a poor decision. Cafes and restaurants near the arena were banning meet-ups and large groups who were giving stuff to concertgoers because it would obstruct other costumers. What would they expect in a day like this? We respect establishments and would not go out empty-stomached. But I cannot blame them. With that, we ended up being stationed in a wing way distal to the arena. 

Many familiar faces were spurting inside the café. I got to introduce to them using twitter usernames. It was hilarious. I even messed up with my other internet friends who I failed to recognize right off the bat! I felt so apologetic. Probably out of exhaustion, my sugar was depleting! 

Around 2PM, I had pasta and coffee as my lunch. I cannot indulge my palate that I had to share my small dish to a friend. My fight-or-flight hormone was doing its job generously that afternoon. I could not recall how much yards we had to stroll for unknown reason in and out the mall. 

After giving away those packed stuff, we took some pictures in front of the arena in groups. After that, we went back to the condo to freshen up and get ready to line up. With my sequence number, around 400, I was near the end of the line. Surprisingly, almost everyone in my area was from the province, particularly Bisaya. We finally realized how the provincial assistance failed us that year. Probably the worse experience I had due to the hectic announcements for the Manila leg. At that moment, a hint of regret was circling my thoughts. Was it a right decision that I did not bite that one under the table offer? I could have experienced a barricade line. I just ignored that bleak light of what-if.

Inside the arena, around 5PM, I was probably 5 or 6 lines away from the stage. It was way farther than my ElyXiOn stop but still a good and close view. There were still foreigners in our area. There was no sign of the event to start so I finally decided to listen to my feet’s plea --- to sit on the floor. The VIP area was more compressed than the first day. Thus, I had to stand in no time to reserve my spot. 

Around 6PM, the show commenced. The intensity of Filipino EXO-Ls’ heated cheer in response to the house rules was much more ear-splitting than yesterday’s. The setlist was not even rolling but one or two from our area were already dragged out, mostly foreigners. I swear, the level of security was not a joke this time! 

With the same pattern of Moonlight being played, it was a hint for everyone to mentally prepare. The 1st VCR played on the big led screens. The ghastly intro was beating in a rising intensity until the EXOs finally set foot on stage. By the time Tempo played, not only the lightsticks but also the phones were raised up high to shot fancams. I was so stressed I forgot how the moshpit game should be played. I had to brace myself for over 2 hours! People in the pit were starting to make waves out of pushing and eventually I had to stop my fancam during Transformer because the bouncers were barring my view when they were trying to catch another bull-headed fan pinpointed by Filipino fans. 

Due to the endless commotion, I was ushered to the side barricade and had the opportunity to step on the platform for a much elevated view. I was so afraid of stampede I did not dare to move an inch from my position. I anchored myself to the barricade. From there, I had a better view for Gravity which is a personal favorite. A choreography does wonder to a song!

Baekhyun came out with the backup dancers for UN Village after the 2nd VCR was shown. Undeniably, he appeared to be exhausted which was obvious when he let the fans sing most of the song at the end. The fans did not fail to par the energy of the song with its fanchant..

This was followed by the 3rd VCR then the powerful trio: 24/7, which played a huge part in my decision making of which ticket to buy. I was after Jongin’s position for this song. Unlike, ElyXiOn that each member had a fix spot every time they go scatter around, EXplOration was way opposite and random. All te members were so mobile throughout. Next, the general public’s favorite, Love Shot attacked. Followed by Oh La La La. 

The deafening shout from the crowd was breathed out when EXO started talking for the 1st ment. They individually introduced themselves with matching hello Philippines and mabuhay greetings. Finally, Monster! This was a stage missed out last ElyXiOn. I was happy to finally witness it live. The members then scattered on the main stage for Oasis. The led screen was an art it was dancing gracefully with them. Breathtaking!

A solo stage by the leader, Junmyeon, followed. Funnily, they were now confident to rip off in an oversea show excluding Japan and China. With that, the crowd was expecting so much from Been Through. The moment Junmyeon exposed his chiseled abdominal muscles, the crowd went crazier that the shouts reached the roof the arena. 

Finally, a ballad song! Jongdae entered the center stage and the light bulbs were simultaneously falling like stars. He sang Lights Out too perfectly and I commend the crowd for understating the sole assignment during this stage --- to stay silent to appreciate his vocals. The lights were already reflecting towards my tears pooling in my eyes. 

The SeChan duo then took over the stage after the 4th VCR. They entered the scene with their bigass luggage as props. They were playing with What a Life and Closer to You. After that, the rest of the members joined with Falling for You.

A brown couch was dragged to the center stage for Wait stage. This ballad number was so heartwarming when the crowd sang along with the EXOs as if it was a duet. They appeared relaxed. Literally, feeling at home vibe in the living room.

The 2nd ment started. SeChan playfully pointed their microphones to the fan to let then sing some parts of What a Life. As expected from Phixos, we are remarkable to the group as the loudest crowd among all hosts. The rule will always be, we do not do fanchant, we sing the whole song haha! The leader then teased Baekhyun with his sexy choreo in UN Village. Baekhyun did it  which made Chayeol crazy for it! Randomly, Jongin danced the sexy choreo of Been Through followed by Junmyeon. Out of nowhere, the crowd cheered loudly for Jongdae’s name suggesting for him to be next in line to do the steps. He was generous enough to do both choreos while singing Lights Out lol I swear they were so chaotic! After that, Sehun did it too! Chanyeol was not getting any free pass and the crowd cheered for his name next. He was crazy that I did not already care for his self-image at that moment. He did his own version of rolling hills and the crowd had gone mad for it! He eventually went near each member to grind at them lmfao! Guess what! Except for Baekhyun!!! Jongin had a secondhand embarrassment for this guy and even threatened to punch him. To end the chaos, the leader finally introduced Power as the next song. It was so fun there were also fireworks-like effects during the break dance part which was serve by the leader, supposedly it was Kai’s part but the members cheered for Junmyeon to do it this time. 

At this point, I was a battery at 2% already. I almost forgot what was next in line. A Kai solo! Jongin entered the main stage with the back up dancers, he was wearing a vest with nothing underneath it and a cap! To be honest, I loved his get-up on the first day more but the experience of him much closer to me is the best! I did the fanchant, I tried religiously but his performance was jaw-dropping that I kept on losing my focus, I went silent while covering my mouth! Surprisingly, he opened the only clothing coving his upper torso that finally exposed his amazing physique! By that time, I already got unleashed, I am still sorry for that crispy FUCK on my fancam hahhahahaha! 

Bad dream and Damage were performed on the main sage. I actually was not able to give my full attention to it because my phone notified I was out of storage. Out of impulsivity, I deleted all of my applications thinking that it would save me until encore stage. After that, EXO danced to the legendary title tacks in a form of a medley, Growl, Overdose and Call Me Baby. 

The 6th VCR was a hint that it was about to end and I went emotional. The boys playfully performed Unfair and On the Snow. The latter song is nostalgic. It is vivid how Jongin was enjoying this stage, wearing a black shirt and pants with his cap placed backwards.  SeChan were so cute during You give me yours, I'll give you mine part when Chanyeol gave the maknae a bouquet of flowers. The fans started throwing lots of stuff on stage, the floor got crowded. 

During the last ment, I befriended the person in front of me who is a Chanyeol-biased. We shouted in chorus Jongin’s name while raising a gom banner but unfortunately he did not respond. We just kept on laughing! We tried it to Chanyeol while waving a banner of him and he waved backed to our area enthusiastically using the doll he picked on the floor. While the others were busily doing their individual messages, ChanKaiHo were so bust playing with the coiled spring, I swear they were kids! 

During Jongdae’s part, the audience started chanting Walang uuwi! We also did this last ElyXiOn and finally this time it was already translated back to the boys! They kept on saying that they enjoyed the night so much with the fans and shamelessly said it was way better that yesterday hahaha! I had to agree. They said that they would love to come back to the Philippines for a concert and a vacation. During Sehun’s part, he secretly asked the translator how to say “Walang uuwi!” and Sehun said it back to the crowd cutely. Finally, after a year!!!

The leader finally introduced the encore song, Smile on my Face. The confetti were starting to rain and feel our faces. The harmonization was heavenly that I almost cried. To be honest, I was sad but happy at the same time. The boys then arranged themselves on the moving platform. Until the last time, Sehun kept on saying Walang Uuwi!. They faded before my eyes, it was surreal! Thank God for letting me see them twice in a row! 

I looked for my friends in the pit and cried in unison! We took pictures outside the arena with some of our friends and decided to look for a place to eat. It was actually raining cats and dogs as if heavens knew how heavy my heart was that it was finally over. 

We went back to the condo with my packed order hahahaha I do not know what was into me that I did not touch my food. I just quenched my thirst bottoms up with a soda full of ice! I was so silent after that hahahaha. 

We slept around 2AM after consuming our fancams. The next day, we had breakfast in Naynay’s condo. Hnnng I miss her food! After that, we parted ways with my condomates and met some of my friends also before heading to the airport.

It was raining. The weather turned my departure more melancholic that it should be. But when I reached the arrival area, I was so touched my whole family came to fetch me. Thank you for supporting me and my happiness. Thank you for allowing me to have this memory when I grow old. 

This is my youth.

[suhmayzooka]

cursed child broadway, December 28, 2019

my sister (S) and i were fortunate enough to get tickets for the third row, right by the aisle, making us right in the center.  I was a bit worried about the seats being so close to the stage, but it was absolutely amazing to be so close to the action. it was immersive, and i felt like i was part of the action.

S is my polar opposite.  she’s not a potterhead, for starters, and likes to call me (and everyone else in the theater, especially those in cosplay) a loser.  she’s heavily involved with her school’s theater -- acting and stage crew -- and i call her a theater nerd.  she’s an aspiring actress, and almost gave my mom a heart attack when she announced her plan to study acting in college (they compromised, and now S intends to major in psychology in addition to acting).  i didn’t know she was interested in cursed child since she eschews all ‘nerdy’ things, but she said that she ‘wanted to see how bad it was.’

she’s been the only extrovert in our family since she was born. she’s a hatstall between gryffindor and slytherin (although she identifies with the lion).  if you’re reading this, i’m assuming you like cursed child and perhaps are involved with the fandom.  ever read the tea time series on ao3? S is lily luna.  she’s the embodiment of how everyone writes lily luna.  she cursed out our dad a few days ago.  she made me spend the equivalent of two hours of work on fucking soda and popcorn because she didn’t listen to me when i told her to pack a clif bar.  this is what i put up with.

she actually enjoyed the show!  i was shocked.  she loved the effects.

after part one, she turned to me and went, “please just tell me one thing: do albus or scorpius die?”

i was surprised by her question.

she explained: “because at this point all i care about is their romance, and if they don’t get together or if they die i’m leaving the theater.”

this is coming from someone who ranted to me about how she doesn’t understand why people ship non-canon pairings since ‘not every friendship has to be romance.’ and here she was genuinely invested in scorbus? my heart…

i’m a good big sister, so i told her really vague statements like “our heroes will find themselves in danger several times during this act...” “one person’s pain is used to inflict pain on the other” and similar things.  eventually, she became convinced that scorpius would be revealed to be voldemort’s son and harry would accidentally kill him. not sure how she came up with that.

i guess everyone caught the plague? the coughing would Not stop.  S started making fun of them. and it’s like...everyone was a-okay during wand dance.  there were no coughs in the opening choreography for part two.  no, everyone had to succumb to coughing fits during the quiet, emotional moments.

“i always wanted a best mate to get up to mayhem with--”

COUGHCOUGHPHLEGMCOUGHHACKHACKHACKPHLEGMPHELGMCOUGHCOUGH

“--you’re my best friend--”

COUGHCOUGHPHLEGMCOUGHHACKHACKHACKPHLEGMPHELGMCOUGHCOUGH

for every. emotional. scene. maybe they were choked up on their tears.

at the last minute we decided to do stage door.  as in, we had already left the theater, saw the line outside, and were like, “sure.” unfortunately we had left our playbills in the theater since my hands were occupied holding her soda and popcorn since apparently she’s incapable of doing so…

i’m using google and my shitty facial recognition to remember who was who.  we (she) spoke to zell steele morrow (young harry), karen janes woditsch (mcgonagall), nadia brown (rose), james snyder (harry), and nicholas podany (albus).  unfortunately, we had to catch our train and left just as jonno roberts (draco) came out :( i think he was S’s favorite.

anyway here are my (our) thoughts:

1. Characters

~nicholas podany is a really good albus! he’s very mischievous, and you can see the wheels in his head turning as he comes up with his (increasingly more ridiculous) plans.  whenever he comes up with an idea he looks at scorpius like :O and it gets funnier as the play goes on.

~bubba weiler is a lot of fun. he’s very physical actor, and he really hams it up.  his scorpius is meant to be seen rather than read.  most of the comic relief is written for scorpius, and there seemed to be roars of laughter after every other line.  he shook his hips at “MALFOOYYYY THE UNAANXIOUSSS” and (exaggeratedly) pretended to march in place for “MY GEEKNESS IS A-QUIVERING!!” he purred at rose.  he flailed his entire body around when he was crucio-d :( one thing i noticed was how he carried himself.  scorpius spent a lot of time sitting hunched over, rocking slightly back and forth (most noticeable when he was introduced, but he hunched over and rocked on the staircase several times as well). when he stands he’s rubbing his thumbs or the hems of his robes.  his leg was bouncing nonstop in the library scene.  anyway what i’m trying to say is scorpius malfoy is neurodivergent. ableists don’t interact.

~for some reason S says that both scorpius and albus are unlikeable, but they’re cute together.  she was very proud when scorpius yelled at albus for being “the most terrible friend.”

~the chemistry between scorbus is There. it’s clear podany and weiler are close friends irl; they’re extremely comfortable together and play off each other really well.  

~matt mueller is great as ron. he works well with what he’s been given...not his fault thorne/tiffany decided to make ron a caricature with very little resemblance to canon ron...but that’s a rant for another day :] he’s delightful on stage.  he’s funny and charming.

~i’ll admit i wasn’t really feeling jenny jules as hermione, at least in part one.  she’s really playful, especially in the scene in her office where she offers harry a “to~fee~!” she was really great in the dark timeline, however.

~my romione heart

~the man himself, james snyder as harry potter!  was um, very shouty? very angry all the time.  he’s under a lot of stress.  his son disappeared in time.  i’ll let it slide.

~jonno roberts was literally draco malfoy.  his sneer, his swagger, everything was absolutely as i imagined draco 20 years in the future would be.  he’s so protective of scorpius...when the adults travel back to 1981 to find their sons, he picks scorpius up as they hug? and then instead of breaking apart, he sort of...put one arm around scorpius’s neck? like a backwards neck travel pillow thing. scorpius held his arm as draco looked around behind him for any danger.  it was really cute.

~diane davis was a really protective ginny.  all the fiery ginny from the books that was absent from the films made its way into her.  

2. Scenes

~one criticism i have is the fact that everyone speaks really quickly.  it’s a five hour play and i get that they’re trying to contain all the dialogue within that time but like...it’s a dialogue-heavy show.  i knew what was going on since i’m familiar with the script and the story, but there were parts when S and other members of the audience were confused. this was especially noticeable during the trolley witch scene.  literally nothing could be heard over the music and the sound effects, and several people around us were audibly confused and asking each other what was happening.  i mean, it doesn’t make a lot more sense with the dialogue, but at least let us hear what the characters are saying!

~podany, snyder, and (at times) weiler were the worst offenders.  weiler’s good at physical comedy, punctuating his iconic lines with clownlike movements for laughs since no one would know what he’s saying otherwise.  e.g. “we stand over the baby and scream” was almost inaudible, so we just heard “HEEELLLPPP HEEEEELLLP!” it was effective since the whole theater laughed, i guess. take this with a grain of salt; we were only a few feet away from the stage, so maybe our audio wasn’t the best.  

~roberts was crystal clear at all times

~S fell in love with scorbus during the staircase ballet.  if you’ve seen that one clip from this cast you know why.  the YEARNING.

~the LIBRARY scene! i reblogged audio of this a few months ago. oh my god, it’s perfect.  it hits the emotional highs and lows.  when albus said, “i wasn’t a loser before i met you,” there was a collective gasp and we all “OOOOOOOOOOH”-ed.  everyone was invested in this. weiler’s performance is really emotional, he’s holding back tears, i’m holding back tears. podany’s gets so soft when he talks about how kind he is.  i actually clenched my heart. “friends?” “always.” audience: “OOOOOOOOOH!”

~i can confirm that myrtle’s “girls...AND BOYS” is directed straight at albus.  his eyes widen, and he sheepishly shrugs his shoulders and is very excited to change the topic.

~scorpius’s imaginary friend was named hector.  idk if he improvises it every time, or if he decided to change it to hector from flurry, but his delivery was great.  sweetly: “oh, i had one of those too!” scathing hiss: “HECTOR.”

~the biggest jumpscare of the play was when scorpius emerged from the lake at the end of part one.  it was all dark, and then he shoots out of the water, gasping. i jumped.

~voldemort walked down the aisle right next to us.  S was terrified that he’s jump or touch her, so she curled up next to me.

~i was interested in how the penultimate scene would play out, since i heard that weiler and podany really play up their relationship, but scorpius had spent every scene with rose purring at her.  she came and imitated a scorpion when she said “scorpion king,” curving her hand and making a hissing noise, which elicited a few “oohs” from the audience.  then the Hug...the “new version of us” line is said as they hug, and they just. stood there for a few moments, hugging.  when albus goes “you better ask rose” scorpius looks up at him and blinks, goes, “.........uh oh yeah, rose….” and goes off stage.  right before he exits he looks at albus, and albus keeps watching him after he leaves. uhh anyway scorbus is canon and so is pollyrose

~“dad...i don’t want to be a wizard anymore.” (dead silence) “i want to go into pigeon racing” *breaks into the biggest shit-eating grin and cracks up*.  the last shot is harry holding albus as he silently weeps.  Ookay.

~due to several instances of childhood trauma, my sister’s biggest fear is birds (especially chickens, ostriches, and...pigeons).  she didn’t know why people laughed at harry’s confession that he was afraid of pigeons, because to her that’s a valid fear.  we saw a pigeon in the train station and she almost cried.

3. Stage door

~S did most of the talking.  she told everyone “so sorry we don’t have our playbill! you did such a great job!” and then struck up mini conversations.  i stood nodding like “good job!” looking like this :]

~first up was (i believe) zell steele morrow! he’s so cute and was really upbeat.  S finally found someone shorter than her…

~karen janes woditsch asked what houses we’re in.  S was like “gryffindor!” and she smiled, i told her “ravenclaw” and she was like, “well...i love all my students equally….”

~i didn’t recognize james snyder since he was dressed like he was in the arctic.  neither did S.

~nadia brown was so sweet!  you could tell she really loved seeing fans.  there was a group behind us in line who apparently were here for their third viewing, and they conversed like they were old friends.

~nicholas podany came out wearing a t shirt. in december.  i was cold because i forgot to wear gloves and he came out in a t shirt.  the group behind us asked if he was cold and he said that he was hot from running around the stage.  S told him that he did great, she asked how long he was performing (ten months since february) and her response was “oh, that makes sense, you were good!” he went on about how he loves performing, how each night is different based on the crowd and how we were such a great crowd, and i could feel S like. sinking into the sidewalk. i just nodded at him and went “good job.”

~he’s my height, maybe slightly shorter (i’m 5’6/167 cm) and very pale.  i think S has a crush on him since she wants to go back to “apologize for being so awkward.” growing up she had a crush on daniel radcliffe, too, so i guess she has a thing for potters.

~the group behind us went on about how much they loved harry potter, had been fans their whole lives, etc. podany’s apparently a huge potterhead, but not the biggest in the cast: they all came together to see who was the biggest potterhead, and the answer is the actor who plays cedric (forgot his name and the internet isn’t helping, sorry!) -- his tv (?) remote is in the shape of a wand! the rest of them are nerdy enough to fact-check the director lmao

~we didn’t get to actually speak with jonno roberts, but we saw him interacting with other fans.  he seems like a cool guy.

[apptowonder]

On the Inherent Chaotic Queer Energy of “Cats” (No, Really)

In Which the Author Relates His Early Affinity For the Musical Cats, And Meditates in Rapt Contemplation On Its Effect On His Own Queer Coming of Age.

Ok, I’ll drop the Eliotian/Victorian pretense. But in all seriousness, this is going to be a long ramble on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats, because I saw the recording of the 1998 Broadway performance again for the first time in probably 14 years and it made me Feel Feelings (tm). Plus a comrade of mine expressed similar enthusiasm and it inspired me.

I -- First Viewing

When I was 10 or 11 years old, for a brief period after seeing Cats for the first time at a local dinner theater production, I was enamored in ways I couldn’t put into words. I was not, and have not really ever been a theater queer. I did a few plays up through high school, and stopped doing theater in college when I lost interest and found out it would take time away from gospel choir. But there was something about the way these characters moved, the charisma they carried themselves with that stuck with me. Unlike some of my queer friends, I don’t have the sense that “I always knew” I liked boys as well as other genders. As a tween, I felt very aloof from romantic interest except for one long-lasting crush on a girl in 5th grade that lasted through middle school. But as I continue to look back, I do think I felt a certain stirring in my gut for certain charismatic male figures, almost like an imprinting. Early affection and crushes manifested in a desire to be like the attractive heroes I admired.

I wanted to be Mr Mistofelees, the Original Conjuring Cat. I also wanted to be Munkustrap, the unassuming but brave and suave narrator, unofficial leader of the Jellicle Tribe. Honorable mention goes to the Rum Tum Tugger, whose rock star persona definitely exudes bi energy, but he felt less approachable to me. In any case, though I didn’t realize it at the time, something was very queer about these cats.

II -- On the Naming of Cats -- Munkustrap

Why I felt drawn to this character is hard to sum up. He doesn’t have his own song, his name is only listed in the program. But he does have considerable stage time. Serving as the narrator and Master of Ceremonies for the Jellicle Ball, right-hand man to Old Deuteronomy, and the only cat willing to go toe to toe with Macavity, he had a certain gravitas that I found compelling. He is humble, as I strive to be. Caring and protective of his family, but not overly aggressive. Confident, but not overbearing. He seemed that he would be the perfect gentle lover, someone who could take you to new and unexpected places but would also make sure that you were safe and loved. 

On a deeper level, perhaps my identifying with this character was a kind of rehearsal for the years to come. Munkustrap served as both the boy I wanted to meet and the boy I wanted to be. When I came out and became invested in queer community and queer Christian community especially, I found myself slowly falling into the role of psychopomp and threshold guardian for some of my gayby Christian friends who were either newly coming out or newly trying to reconcile their faith and sexuality. I would direct them to apologetics resources, but I think my greater strength was in being a kind of MC who would invite them into a new queer reality, a celebration of the richness of life and a vision of the vastness of both theology and queer vibrancy. In a sense, I invited them to a Jellicle ball.* I would invite them to dance beneath the moon of our shared experience, and show to them that far from being incomplete or broken, they had their own power and beauty, were possessed of “Terpsichorean powers” which would serve as a mysterious gift to the wider world.

The first boy I dated was a Munkustrap. Gentle, but fun-loving. Willing to meet me where I was, but also encouraging me to new heights of intimacy, feeling and adventure. Though we eventually parted ways, we remained good friends, and I will be forever grateful to him for leading me from an abstract appreciation of my queerness to a deeply embodied possession of it that I can now live out for the glory of God and the good of humanity, like a cat has a deep embodied possession of its third and secret name.

III -- On the Naming of Cats -- Mr. Mistoffelees

“Oh, well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees?”

Coming in at the eleventh hour to save the day, Mr. Mistoffelees employs his magical powers to rescue Old Deuteronomy when all other help fails. In the production I saw, he literally flies down onto the stage (on a wire) and proceeds to produce phantasmagorical phenomena and easily conjures up the kidnapped patriarch of the Jellicle Tribe from the place he’s been sequestered. He is flashy, elegant, flamboyant, coy, “aloof” but always fun-loving. Perhaps more importantly, in all the performances I’ve seen, he seems elegantly attuned to some deeper sixth sense. Beneath the playful surface is a deep power that manifests in impressive ways. The show relays his power through the metaphor of stage magic, but to me he also seemed to have a touch of something mystical, spiritual. I felt both awe and affection for that sensitive attunement, and how it was packaged in such a playful personality.

In my own life as queer clergy, I have sought to develop that kind of attunement. Though spirituality is a bit slower and more messy than conjuring, I have received compliments from colleagues queer and straight that I often speak the exact right prayer for the needs of a given moment. I write poems and try to breathe new life into the life-giving stories of my spiritual tradition, my life and the lives of my queer tribes. I’m always eager to come up with an impromptu liturgical service when circumstance dictates, and I draw on vocabulary from the saints and mystics as well as my own love of language and poetry. Playfulness is, to me, a spiritual virtue, and I love to offer inspiring surprises from the depths of the wisdom I have inherited from those who have gone before. When friends (especially queer Christian friends) are stuck in demoralizing binaries and limited horizons of purity culture, toxic theology, or other spiritual burdens, I will often pull a shimmering anecdote from the lives of the saints, or an ancient word of curiosity that opens up a new way of seeing the world. In a way, I’m pulling kittens out of hats. 

Ironically but also fittingly, when I kept my queerness under wraps, my poetry was vivid but strained. Overwrought, often melancholy but rarely insightful. And I would pray when someone asked me to, but it generally consisted of generic requests that didn’t really mean much to me. I had to become fabulous and be willing to be in touch with the queer wonder of both my loves and my experiences before I began to really tap into that spiritual current that I am still learning how to channel for the life of the world. I’m still a beginner, and in my day to day life I’m fairly quiet and introspective. Aloof, perhaps. But I feel that my openness to queer joy, queer eros and queer vibrancy have begun to throw open a way to my own wholeness and the invigorating and revival of many of my communities. I don’t do this alone, and I am still learning from my many queer elders and forerunners. As I study and practice and bring forth vision, I continue to learn “from Mr. Mistofelees’ conjuring turn.”

At Pride a year or two ago, I met a Mr. Mistofelees of sorts. A pagan boy, playful and flashy, with a golden voice. He ended up being a bit too flighty for me, but he helped me find a bit more of my flamboyant side by getting me to do karaoke, and introducing me to the queer night life in a new city. In our own separate ways, we both helped each other I think be deeper attuned to that electric queer energy that flows into creativity, presence, wonder and resilience like lightning flows from Mistofelees’ fingertips. We pranced about our respective stages and conjured beauty for one another.

IV -- Memory (Some Thoughts on the Queerness of the Musical, and Some Final Reflections)

And what of the musical as a whole. What is it about Cats that struck such a chord with my very young queer self, and still does?

To me, it has an energy to it that resonates very deeply with queer experience. It delights in elevated pageantry, but it takes its own internal logic and way of being seriously. There is something about the mystery and spectacle of it that feels like a queer way of being. Despite the charge leveled against us by demagogues and queerphobes that we’re simply decadent, queer experience to me has always been about experiencing a heightened sense of reality, be that in adventure, sensuality, joy, beauty, celebration or pleasure. As the meme goes, before you say we’re too much, ask yourself, are you even enough?

Furthermore, the show is sensual and embodied in a way that many more conventional Broadway musicals aren’t. It delights in being just a little bit bawdy, while at the same time showcasing an excellence in the choreography and visuals that requires a good deal of skill and physical effort. In coming out and coming to know queer community, I began to listen better to my body and to be more comfortable in my own skin. To delight in the magic of touch and sensory beauty.

Finally, the sensuousness that undergirds the show also displays a very free flowing romantic and affectional subtext between different characters. Two cats may flirt or make eyes at each other, but there’s no expectation that they might not also catch the eye of a completely different cat in the next scene. They perform with a subtle erotic undertone that suggests both tenderness and hedonism, but all in the context of a tight-knit community that cares for its own. The fanfiction community for Cats presents a rainbow of different romantic pairings for various characters, and the lack of consensus as to which ones are “canon” speaks to the show’s affectational fluidity and dynamism.

In the end, the Jellicle cats all present a world within the everyday that is deeply queer and fluid, a “thin space” where personalities are larger than life and anything is possible. In this gay and mystifying romp, I was moved to a consideration in the years since I saw it of my own “secret names” as a future queer seminarian and priest (though I didn’t know it then). While it may seem bewildering to some, I continue to cherish it as a tribute to the great mysteries of queer existence, love and community. And that’s how you address us cats.

*Props to my comrade for extending on and fleshing out this metaphor in his blog post.

[rkevent]

MGA SEASON 4: EPISODE 5 STARTS NOW!

The weeks seem to be passing quicker and quicker. Before too long, episode five is already airing, and the highlights of the previous one show on screen. People cry as their friends are eliminated but, above all else, this is a competition and as the challenges continue, you should fight to continue as well. The lucky audience’s bright smiles should serve as encouragement to those losing hope.

A girl confidently shows her hand-made sign with Koo Junhoe’s face on it, while another says she’s a fan of Kim Jinhee instead. “Why?” She asks when her friend stares at her weirdly. “She’s pretty.” A group of men has their banners tied to their forehead instead. “Kim! Chung! Ha!” They all scream in unison as if their passion for the girl wasn’t obvious enough. A lot of others get their chance at the camera, but the video gets sped up and it's hard to see any more names from the images.

Your favorite CEOs sit at the same famous table as before. So Jiseob raises a hand to calm down the audience before officially starting the episode. “Hello, everyone, and welcome to the fifth episode of the Mnet Global Auditions Season 4.” He lets the cheering swell up for a few moments before raising his hand once again. “This week, our contestants were asked to show us a performance of a mashup. This will not only show the talent of those who decided to produce a mashup themselves but also show the versatility of all as performers. There are seven teams this week, but only one of them can be the winner.” This time, his long pause is followed by silence, the anticipation building up among everyone. “Without further ado… let’s meet our first group of contestants.”

The crowd cheers as Team A walks on stage. They’re Kim Junmyeon, Jeon Somi, Koo Junhoe, Ha Sungwoon and Bae Joohyun. After introducing themselves as team Celestial, each of the contestants gets a chance to introduce themselves to the public before walking to their starting spot. It’s a routine the public should already be used to, and quickly the scene changes to that of a practice room.

Instead of the usual start at the Sphere building, the contestants find themselves inside of Royal. The first topic that comes up is the leader spot. As the camera passes by them in order of age, a text lets the audience know each of them has already carried the title, except for the youngest, Somi. The girl seems to be in as much shock as everyone else, but her teammates all offer her support. “We’ll help you, if you’d like,” states Joohyun before extending a hand to the younger. “If you need any advice about being a leader or anything at all, don’t be afraid to ask us, okay?”

The group then goes on a hunt for a mashup, choosing to find one instead of making it themselves. They settle for a mix between ‘Starry Night’ and ‘Save Me’, going for a softer feeling this time around. Afterwards, while each person heads off to prepare, Sungwoon approaches Junmyeon with a pen and paper, obviously embarrassed by what he’s about to do. He asks for the other’s autograph, quickly adding: “it’s for my sister in Hong Kong.” Junmyeon seems to be just as embarrassed as the other, covering his cheeks before signing the paper. They both quickly laugh off the tension in the air, and, since they’re already there, Sungwoon asks for an autograph for himself as well.

Even with such an awkward first interaction, the screen shows a montage of all their best moments, mostly involving their journey of trying to learn the choreography and laughing at each other’s mistakes. It eventually gets late, and after working hard to polish their dancing skills, the two boys fall asleep next to each other. They only wake up in the morning when Somi walks in and lets out a screech at the sight.

Sungwoon yells back in surprise, jolting up and into a crouch resembling a martial arts position. He then attempts to flatten his hair while apologizing, but Junmyeon simply shoots him a wink and finger guns, looking just as handsome as he appeared the night before. While Junmyeon proceeds to finally raise himself from the floor, Sungwoon stares at the camera in disbelief. “Did I ask for this? No. Am I getting it? Yes. Am I slightly jealous God has not given me the ability to wink? Also yes.”

Later into practice, Somi is the one to approach Junmyeon with a question of her own. “Oppa, do you have something in your eye? You always… like… do this.” And so the girl starts to wink repeatedly and much more flamboyantly than the male usually did. “Something in my eye?” Junmyeon questions. “Yes, I have the love for all of the viewers out there stuck in my eyes.” He shoots the camera a wink, and the camera quickly focuses on Somi as her face contorts at the sight. She adds a new comment, saying, “but I know someone more handsome than you.” Except, the other is too busy blowing kisses to hear it. As their leader, though, the girl quickly reminds everyone to go back to practice, and the party comes to an end.

The camera presently returns to the stage where the mashup begins as a mix of two songs. The lyrics convey a dreadful feeling and the members manage to convey this in their performance. Their composition lacked on the aspect of dancing, but Joohyun’s modified choreography allowed everyone to shine. The performance eventually comes to an end and they strike their ending poses before it’s time for the next group to perform.

Team B is next, composed of Kim Doyeon, Joo Haknyeon, Kim Jinhee, Moon Bin and Choi Minho. “1, 2, 3…” Doyeon counts before they all introduce themselves. “As above, so below. Hello, we’re team Styx!” Each member holds a mythological title with which they introduce themselves individually before moving to their designated spots. Before the song can start, the scene goes back in time to their practice room.

They choose Doyeon as their leader, which really was no surprise since the girl was the one who introduced them while on stage. Things seemed to be going normally, or at least until someone suggested the name ‘Cerberus’ for their team name. It sounded cool at first, but soon the boys start barking as if they were the dog themselves. The three guys share the screen as they bark together, a quick edit showing each of them as a different head of the mystical canine. The camera zooms on Jinhee’s face as she stares back at it, obviously unamused.

Not really taking the name seriously anymore, they settle on Styx instead, keeping the mythological vibe. The boys, however, never really forget to mess around every once in a while. It either involves random ‘woof’s (or ‘nyan’s from Haknyeon) or even just stopping randomly to dance without reason. However, even with all the fun and games, they all manage to show their skill. Minho steps up to make the mashup himself, while Bin takes over the difficult vocals. With this mashup, Haknyeon can showcase both his dancing and rapping skills.

[TW: MENTIONS OF BLOOD] Just like last week, Haknyeon needs to pause his practice for a moment to stop a nosebleed. This time, however, Jinhee is there to see it happen. When she asks if this is normal for him, the boy quickly replies that no, it isn’t. “I’m really sorry. I just… need to do well… and prove something. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me but… people have been saying things, about how I’m only here because of my sister, that I’m using her fame… and stuff like that… I want to prove something to them. And prove something to myself. I need to do well, so they can realize that I’m my own person with my own dreams… I need to do well. I’ll take better care of myself, I promise.” [END OF TW]

The day of the performance comes again, and a story is set to be told. Doyeon plays the role of a heartbroken girl, while Bin is her crazy ex-boyfriend. Jinhee is the angelic best friend, while Haknyeon and Minho are pretending to be interested in Doyeon. The heartbroken heroine, however, is traumatized by her past romantic experience, and sees the new boys as only trying to use her. The mashup is nicely made, and the end of the song is impressive enough to leave an impact with only Jinhee’s voice powering over anything. Just like so, the stage comes to an end.

Walking up to the stage is Team C, made up of Jin Longguo, Kim Bora, Lee Luda and Hwang Hyunjin. Their introduction is long, but also very interesting.  “Café Latte: a team with a unique flavour that will stay with you and warm your heart with a rich and mature message like espresso, and lighter and heart-fluttering vocals like milk foam.” It most certainly picked up the interest of some, and after they each introduced themselves as a different type of coffee, the members move to their starting positions just in time for the scene to change back to their practice room.

First things first, the viewers are notified of Yerim’s departure of the show for personal reasons, her figure obviously not present during the meeting. Their chosen leader is Luda, the tiny girl with a strong voice. They work together to find a good song, and eventually settle on a mashup between “Coffee” and “Stay”, an interesting choice for a performance. After everybody shows agreement, the leader adds in her own thoughts. “If we go with the theme of ‘cafe latte’ we could each choose a type of coffee for ourselves, for introductions, after introducing the team together?” Her members seem excited by the idea, and as seen previously, they did use it on the final day.

They’re a very hardworking group, which they all soon realize as well. All of the members prefer to stay overnight instead of going home, to which they give themselves the nickname of ‘team sleepover’. Even the serious Longguo breaks a smile at the comment, the moment emphasized by special effect flowers popping out around his face. Although sleep is necessary, they practice hard with or without it.

For this performance, the team decided to go with a brand new choreography made by their dancers. A pair of it involves turning themselves into couples, and while Longguo and Bora seem to not really be bothered by it, Hyunjin cutely shies away from Luda whenever they finish practicing. He always pulls away, covering his face, and a cute montage shows several times it occurs, a cute song playing in the background.

Once their final practice is done, they all cheer and clap at their achievements. “Thank you for your hard work, everyone.” Longguo says before the leader decides to add in her own words. “I know I was a bit lacking as a leader, but thank you all for helping me, wherever I needed help,“ she started, thinking especially of the choreography. “I really had fun preparing for this performance, even if it wasn’t always easy. I know we’ll do well!”

And just like that, the focus is back on the stage where Luda sits by herself in a chair. The choreography is very beautifully done, not too hard but also not too simple. It’s interesting to see when they’re paired up in couples, Hyunjin’s face serious for the performance and managing to make eye contact with the camera. Even if the chosen song was a bit surprising, they finished their performance well.

Team D goes up next. Choi Yoojung, Kim Yongsun, Kim Donghyun, Choi Youngjae and Lee Sungyeol stand on the stage, waving at the public before introducing themselves. “Hello, we are team Desolate!” They each get a short moment of personal appeal before moving to their designated spot. The screen wobbles and changes the focus back to their first meeting.

Out of process of elimination, and the boys not really wanting to be leader, Yoojung takes the leader role for the week. While she looked nervous about it at first, once the deed is done, the girl appears to calm herself down. Since the group is very vocal-heavy, the team decides to pick songs to reflect this quality, going with “Empty” and “I’m Bad”. Sungyeol and Youngjae offer their skills to make the mashup themselves and, just as promised, they deliver the final product. Yongsun seems to be impressed by it, nodding to the music as she listens to it.

The choreography turns out to be simple, and Yoojung teaches the rest of her teammates how to do it correctly. They seem to follow her well, even if the girl is barely shown speaking. Even Donghyun, who mostly keeps to himself, decides to say a few words during their final practice. “You know what I think?” Donghyun says aloud at the end of their last day of practice before the show. A large grin is seen on his face despite the sweat shining on his brow. “We’re going to get first place and make it through to next week. We’ve done good this week and it’s been an honour working with you and tomorrow we’re going to completely smash it.”

The day of the performance arrives once again, and Sungyeol starts it off with his lines. The song seems to pass by quickly, and the dancing is simple enough for everyone to do their part. Donghyun finishes it off and, before you know it, they depart the stage to make ready for the next group’s arrival.

Next up is Team E, formed by Kim Hyuna, Seo Soojin, Kim Jonghyun, Minatozaki Sana and Jeon Wonwoo. They introduce themselves as team Bangchi, a mashup of the names from their chosen song’s artists. After a moment of individual appeal, they move over to their initial poses of lying down on the floor. The scene then transitions smoothly into showing them on the floor but, this time, in their practice room.

Right away, Soojin suggests Sana as the leader, and everyone seems to agree. The girl had been yearning for the title and finally managed to get it. After a few deep breaths, she lets her team know of her intentions with watery eyes. “I promise I won’t let you down.” However, choosing a song didn’t seem to go so easily. Each suggestion came with different criticism, a quick montage showing the team struggle. They eventually find a mix of ‘You Think’ and ‘I Need U’, which the team eventually agrees on being their best option.

Mentions of Hyuna’s condition start to arise, and as the camera focuses on the woman sitting on the floor, the scene cuts into a quick flashback. She’s leaving the stage after performing with her previous team when she trips on the very last step. People exhale in worry, and then she’s shown sitting with an ice pack on her ankle. The flashback quickly ends, and Jonghyun and Wonwoo take on the role of working with the choreography while Hyuna rests.

Sana approaches Wonwoo one day, holding a box of cupcakes in her hands. “I didn’t make them, they’re just store bought.” The girl quickly adds in before revealing it’s actually a belated birthday gift to the other, a quick cut of his profile showing it had simply passed by the previous week without anyone noticing. “You really didn’t have to do this,” Wonwoo says to her, and Sana shrugs. “No, I didn’t, but I wanted to,” He seems to be thankful, and that small action is enough to brighten up the room a little.

On the third day, Hyuna gets rid of her cast and is ready to start practicing. However, the injury still seems to be a big wall stopping her from succeeding. The woman constantly asks for breaks and continues to limp when she isn’t dancing. Even when she’s alone in the practice room she continues to practice over and over again, not letting her injury stop her no more. The limp is still there, but at least she manages to complete the dance routine.

Jonghyun watches over everyone as they dance, nodding and clapping his hands when they’re done with their final practice. Soojin walks towards a camera before leaving, making a series of silly faces before leaving her last remark. “I don’t know if this will make it into the final cut but….” She raised both of her hands and turned them into fists. “Team Bangchi fighting!” The girl giggles and finally leaves the room in a rush, bringing an end to their practice.

They’re back on the floor, and the choreography starts simple as the song begins. The choreography is a nice mix of the two original ones and even Hyuna, who had to hold back during practice, manages to do it well. When it’s Soojin’s turn, she says ‘ha!’ and kicks her foot towards the camera which quickly zooms out of the performance in perfect timing. Her hand reaches for her hair and she removes the ribbon holding it, setting the strands free as the girl sings all of her lines. Wonwoo and Sana also get a moment in the spotlight, getting to do a quick session of the couple dance before it’s her turn to sing. The performance eventually comes to an end, and the audience cheers before they leave.

Team F is next, composed of Min Yoongi, Park Kyungri, Kim Chungha, Kim Mingyu and Kang Daniel. “We’re your dream! Hello, we’re One Night!” They keep their individual introductions simple and move over to their starting points. There’s a chair for each of them, and just when they settle down on their designated seat, the scene goes back to their first meeting.

Out of the two eligible to become the leader, none of them seems to want to do it. Everyone else had been a leader before except for Daniel and Mingyu. The first one tries to be cheeky and suggests maybe they could decide it with a round of ‘rock, paper, scissors’. Kyungri chuckles, but the team settles on a vote, and Mingyu ends up taking it. Daniel’s role doesn’t end there, though, as both him and Yoongi team up to create the mashup between “Just One Day” and “Why So Lonely”.

Yoongi seems to have returned to his awkward self, quickly working on the song with Daniel by his side. The younger, however, seems to always have a smile up on his face and shares his chippery thoughts. “I think it’s kinda cool…honestly I wanted to do something like this the whole show so I’m glad we get to do it together!” He stares happily at Yoongi, and the latter’s reply is a stiff pat on the shoulder which is something impressive (and expressive) enough coming from Yoongi.

Leaving the happy thoughts behind, the camera focuses on the leader as he decides to call someone. The voice on the other side is that of a woman, and a text on the bottom of the screen confirms that it is his mother. “Mingyu? Are you okay, is something wrong?” The boy quickly reassures it is nothing like that, but that something is bugging him. “Well… I’m supposed to be the leader this week. But I never was much of a leader. I don’t know if I’ll do well. If they fail, that’ll be on me, right?” His mother, however, strongly disagrees. “No, Mingyu… You don’t give yourself enough credit. You genuinely care about people and want to see them succeed. That’s a great quality for a leader to have. You don’t want to step on others in order to get yourself closer to the top… you’re a good boy and I think people see that. I think the fact that you’re worrying over being the possible cause of someone else’s failure kind of proves that you’d lead just fine.” He chews on his lower lip and remains silent for a moment before ending the conversation. “Have I told you recently that you’re the best mother a guy could ask for?”  ”I love you.”“I love you, too, Mingyu.”

Later on, the team sits down to have a snack together, and after they’ve finished eating Daniel approaches his leader with interest. “So, which rap part is your favorite?” The younger points out the rap from ‘Why So Lonely’ and Daniel replies to him in all seriousness. “I can rap that.” He manages the first line, but anything past that is pure gibberish with only a bit of sense of rhythm. Mingyu offers to teach him the rap, but the older eventually just tells him he’s better at it.

The scene goes back to their stage, and they’re all sitting down waiting for the song to start. It’s a soft song, and their performance tells a story as well. The boys sing about their earning for the girls, while they all refuse their love. With a mix of using chairs for the dance and not, the song slowly walks towards its end. They all sit down again, with Mingyu in the center, as the two couples on either side hold each other’s hands.

Showing as the last group of the week is Team G. They’re Kim Hyunjung, Jung Jinsoul, Dong Sicheng, Lai Guanlin and Kim Taehyung. “Hello! We’re team Go Go Bop!” They greet the audience and then introduce themselves individually. Once they’re done, the members move to their starting positions, just in time for the scene to change.

They’re sitting on the floor, and while the choice of leader is a bit more diverse in this team, the title ends up landing eventually on Jinsoul. She seems to be a bit in shock at the start, but her skills as a leader would soon be proven as good. Their chosen mashup is a mix between “Ko Ko Bop” and “Shangri-la” which is a rather interesting composition. To their luck, Sicheng states he is familiar with traditional dancing, and so they’re able to integrate the beautiful aspects of the original song into their performance as well. Just like that, the boy is set in charge of the choreography.

Without having to wait for anyone to make the mashup, the group quickly jumps into learning the different areas of their performance. The two songs have vastly different styles, but they manage to make the dance transitions into something smooth. Hyunjung helps Guanlin with his moves, the boy still obviously struggling with the skill, but maybe a little bit less this time around. “People can see when you’re thinking about what step to do next,” she says. “Try and forget about the steps for a few moments, and focus more on how you feel.”

Carrying the burden of the leader, Jinsoul spends extra time practicing by herself. A quick montage shows the girl trying out different moves of the choreography, including her practicing how to open the fan. Her vocal practice is cut into short sections, making it a bit funny to watch. When she finally takes a break, surrounded by her notes, the girl stares at the camera as if she had forgotten about it. “Hello. Right now it’s…” When she checks the time she realizes how late it is. “Oh my gosh, I have to go home and shower and, ah, I have to leave for school in a few hours.” She still prefers to practice one more time before leaving, returning the next day with her uniform on. There is no time to waste; even being so young, Jinsoul knows that.

They’re back on the stage, and the song begins to play its interesting tune. Thanks to Sicheng and Hyunjung’s help, the group manages to pass by the dance portion without much struggle as expected. Her extra practice proves to be useful when Jinsoul performs her higher notes without showing a drop of worry on her expression. At last, the music and performance comes to a graceful end.

All teams are finished and, each week, the number of contestants gets smaller and smaller. This week, it isn’t any different. So Jiseob picks up his microphone, ready to announce the positions of each group for this episode. “You’ve all worked hard this week, and we got to watch a series of very interesting performances. It is time, now, to announce the rank for this week.” He pauses for a moment, but there is no audience anymore to give reactions.

“I’ll start by announcing the third place.” The screen shows the face of all the leaders standing in front of their members, impatiently waiting for the results to be announced. “The team to finish in third this week is… Team C. Even if you chose a calmer song, which isn’t normally what’s expected when you hear the word ‘mashup’, I think you did a great delivery of it. Your dancing was also very expressive, even if I know some of the members aren’t normally good at it. Congratulations on your third place. All of you will continue with us next week.”

Katie Lee is the one speaking next, scanning the contestants with a sharp look in her eyes. “The two teams who got the top spots performed with different themes, but each showed a strong presence on stage. The team in second place today is… Team G. The song choices were very interesting, and the members surprisingly worked well together. I really enjoyed that you mostly focused on the traditional side of the mashup by using the fans. It was a very captivating performance and you deserve the spot. Congratulations.”

The top spot is next, and Tiger JK is the one who delivers the honors for this episode. “There are five teams left but only one can be the winner… I believe they played it safe, but they had the skills to make it memorable.” He moves the microphone away from his mouth while looking down at his cheat sheet before announcing the winner of the week. “The team who ranked first this week is… Team E. The song you chose, I think, is what is very expected of a mashup, and it requires a lot of charisma and skill to deliver a memorable stage like that. You kept most of the choreography true to the originals, yet we really enjoyed the pieces of original content you put in there. Congratulations on being the winners of today, and good fortune on future episodes.”

Hyun Bin goes next, twisting his head to one side. “There’s still four teams left, and some of you will have to go home.” The man stares down at the contestants remaining on the stage, his eyes cold with knowledge. “I’ll start by announcing the team in fourth, which was once a cherished spot, wasn’t it?” He chuckles, but only the judges seem to find amusement in it. “The team who finished in fourth this week is… Team A. Your choice was definitely interesting, but, as a performance, it didn’t have much of a flair. You have a lot of talented people, which is a shame if one of you were to go home… which is why you’re all safe for the week. Congratulations on your fourth spot. You all get to stay.”

The cameras show the reactions and expressions of the contestants, but there isn’t much time to make a fuss. Baek Jiyoung goes next, her smile being a bit difficult to decipher. “The team in the fifth place is… Team B. You chose a good song, though we believed the best part of it was the ending, which is a bad thing to think about. Both of the songs are very strong, and I think we would have preferred it if it were a strong performance like the originals. If this was a composition challenge, however, I’m sure you’d all have done great. Unfortunately, someone will have to go home. The first person to leave us today is… Choi Minho. It’s unfortunate that you were amidst so many other talented performers. Your skill still has a lot of room to grow, and hopefully you’ll continue to polish it even when you aren’t here.”

If anyone had thoughts that maybe this would be a free week they were proven wrong when So Jiseob takes his microphone again, ready to finish what he had started. “Only one team can be in last, but I think it’ll give just as big of an impact on both of you. After a lot of discussion, the last two of you are Team D and Team F.” The man lets the silence settle a bit, the camera showing the faces of the leaders before focusing back on him. “The team in last place for the week is… Team D. Your performance was, dare I say, a bit boring. You’re all talented, but this is a competition and what you showed on stage wasn’t something too memorable. Unfortunately, that was only emphasized more as you performed right before Team E, who ended up winning today.”

“As for Team F, I think it’s a shame, really, that you’re down here. The songs are great, but, again, when you put it in a competition like this it’s really not good enough. There were other performances with softer songs like yours, yet they managed to implement new aspects into those performances that made it more interesting. That’s why both you and Team D were in last.” The man stops for a second to let the criticism sink in. They are called judges for a reason, after all. “Some of you will have to leave us today. The second person to leave the competition for this week is… Min Yoongi. You seem to be a good dancer, and a good rapper as well, and that is why you survived this far. When you stand next to your teammates, however, your impact completely disappears. You lack the charisma, I believe, as well as the confidence you need to win.”

Jiseob eyes the last team, suddenly regretting choosing to talk this much. “As for Team D, the person to leave us today is… Kim Donghyun. Your voice is very good, but I think that’s honestly it. We watch the behind the scenes videos as well, and if someone asked my opinion about Kim Donghyun I would have to reply with ‘who?’. Whether we like it or not, this industry also involves people’s personalities, so we can’t keep saving you for your voice. There are better singers in this competition who also have a better attitude relating to the idol life.” His eyes then move only slightly, eyeing someone else in his team. “We don’t stop there, however, because someone else from Team D is leaving us tonight, and that person is… Choi Youngjae. As stated before, only having a good voice isn’t enough to be here. From what we get to observe, it looks like you’re doing just enough to pass by, and isn’t exactly the best attitude to have. We’re not saying you didn’t work hard, of course, but people can study all night and still do badly on the exam, which is what ended up happening here. Hopefully, you’ll find a better way to ‘study’, and then maybe we’ll get to hear from you again.”

The CEO sits back on his chair, setting down the microphone on top of his table before staring at Katie Lee so that she could finish up the show. The eliminations are over, and the only thing left to do is to keep going.

To see all of this season’s current contestants, click here!

And now, let’s see what’s in store for our sixth episode!

Next week, the MGAs are to continue on with the team challenges. However, all contestants have been assorted into new groups. You may find yourself next to known faces or someone you’ve never talked to before, but you must still work hard to deliver a worthy performance in under a week. The teams for this episode and the companies they’ll practice at are as seen below:

TEAM A — ROYAL BUILDING #4003 — Kim Junmyeon #4010 — Joo Haknyeon #4012 — Kim Yongsun #4033 — Lee Luda #4039 — Minatozaki Sana #4042 — Hwang Hyunjin

TEAM B — KT BUILDING #4004 — Kim Doyeon #4005 — Jin Longguo #4007 — Choi Yoojung #4027 — Jung Jinsoul #4036 — Kim Jonghyun #4049 — Kim Mingyu

TEAM C — TRC BUILDING #4008 — Kim Hyuna #4011 — Kim Jinhee #4030 — Lee Sungyeol #4034 — Lai Guanlin #4050 — Kang Daniel #4052 — Bae Joohyun

TEAM D — NOVA BUILDING #4009 — Kim Bora #4023 — Park Kyungri #4024 — Seo Soojin #4025 — Kim Hyunjung #4032 — Moon Bin #4048 — Ha Sungwoon

TEAM E — SPHERE BUILDING #4018 — Jeon Somi #4029 — Dong Sicheng #4037 — Kim Taehyung #4040 — Kim Chungha #4044 — Koo Junhoe #4046 — Jeon Wonwoo

For the fourth round of team challenges, the theme of the week is something everyone has been seeing all around. The sun is bright and so every stage should be; this time, all the focus is on the summertime! Members are to group together and pick a song of their liking and that they think will also capture the public’s attention. The song should capture all of the good feelings of summer and pass it on to the audience.

Just like last time, all of the members from the team ranked as first will be safe from elimination, but other groups may not have the same good fortune. The live audience will have the same number of 1000 people to watch and judge every performance, but no voting will take place or impact the results. The filming location will be the same as before.

The leader system will remain for this week, as well. Members are to elect a leader among themselves who will be the focus of guiding the team through preparations and the stage itself. The leader should be someone who will be able to help others and be looked up to. After being picked, a change of leader will only be able to happen by unanimous vote. However, no contestant who was a leader previously may become a leader again. Together, all members should come up with a team name that will represent them during this week. With unity being more important than ever, we hope to see our contestants growing closer than ever — or maybe they’ll keep everything as professional as possible.

However, the events of next week are not done being announced. To all of those who were eliminated up to this point: don’t lose your hope. We present to you the Wild Cards! On Friday morning, while everyone else is doing their sound check, the CEOs will be heading to the set of the second episode with the small circular stage at the center. Any contestant who was eliminated in a previous episode may try their chance at a new spot on the show. They’ll have 48 hours starting when this episode airs to confirm their presence at the Wild Cards stage on Friday to be aired along with the summertime episode on Sunday. Each returning contestant has a maximum of 2 minutes to showcase their skills. The theme for them, however, is to show their bettered self — one that is worthy of being on stage again. Who will make it back?

                          Tune in next Sunday, the 5th, for our sixth episode!

MGA Season 4 episode six preview: Contestants have the week to enjoy the summertime, but it is it truly certain that no fights will break out between them? The unexpected twist: who from your favorite eliminated contestants will return to the show? Who will be eliminated with no longer a chance of return? Tune in next week to find out!

SURPRISE! On Wednesday, the staff will hand a small camera to one of the contestants, announcing this is their chance to appeal to the public. They may do whatever they want with it: you many show what you’re practicing on, simply present yourself again or maybe even break under pressure and stare in silence.

Each member has 2 minutes with the camera, and should work as a camera relay. They don’t need to film themselves and may choose to pass the camera over before their time is done, but the time for each member continues to be 2 minutes for each. This surprise self-camera session won’t necessary make it into the episode, but may be posted on the MGA official website as bonus content.

[ All teams had their introduction and performance aired. Any other part only made it to the final cut if it was mentioned in this post. Contestants have until 5PM EST of Sunday, the 5th, to post their 200+ words solos about their performance of this fifth round of the team challenges. That’s at 5PM not midnight. Please tag all related posts with #rkmga4 and #rkmga4summer. Song choices should be submitted to the rkevent inbox as well as the chosen leader. Two teams performing the same song will not be allowed and this will be chosen on a first come first serve basis.

The camera relay posts should be up until 9PM EST of Wednesday, the 1st. The post should be 200+ words long and describe what they did while holding the camera. If they did something while someone else was holding the camera it can be included as well in the solo. This is bonus content and won’t impact in any way the results of the episode. Wild Cards may not take part in this. Please tag all related posts with #rkmga4 and #rkmga4relay. After the post is up, feel free to add +1 CHARISMA to your points sheet! Please link this post as verification.

Wild Cards have until 5PM EST of Sunday, the 5th, to post their 200+ words solos about their performance at their special stage. That’s at 5PM not midnight. Please tag all related posts with #rkmga4 and #rkmga4wildcard.

When at their designated company’s building, contestants should not interact with any trainees and should mostly keep themselves inside the practice room except for meals or bathroom breaks. This time around, muses not part of the MGAs may be part of the live audience. More information about this will come in a future post.

Any group chat made as a way for the muns of the contestants to interact with each other for this mission should have Mod Bianca and Mod Mira (@luvseungjoon and @allevicte on twitter) added to it. They will be there to monitor everything, but any questions should be sent to the rkevent inbox in case someone else had the same question and so it won’t be seen as an advantage to your group.

To award everyone for making it this far, feel free to add +1 CHARISMA and +1 SHOWCASED SKILL to your points sheet! This includes members eliminated on this episode. Please link this post as verification. ]

[bloody-cute-yandere]

my thoughts on Hamilton on Disney+

I have gotten into the habit of psychoanalyzing the reasons that businesses would do the things that they do. I see the performative pandering of pride month by large businesses, judge whether other aspects of their donations, investments, etc, also align with their pr. So, when Disney+ announced that they would be releasing a filmed version of the musical Hamilton, I decided to sit down and think about the overall pros and cons culturally of this move, and what potential motives Disney would have to do this.

The Pros:

One of the biggest pros I could think of is the greater accessibility this musical will have for the general populace now. There has been a movement over the past several years to create filmed versions of musicals (Sweeney Todd, Les Miserables, and Into the Woods come to mind), but Hamilton offers a greater range of musical sounds than any of the previous musicals do. Even in those movies, the songs SOUND like songs from a musical. They all definitively and decidedly reside in the musical theater genre. Hamilton, however, with its use of electronic sounds, extra sound effects, a wider range of instruments and a wider range of vocal techniques including rapping and beatboxing, could I believe reasonably be heard on the radio. Burn would sound lovely before or after a Taylor Swift song; My Shot is an absolute BOP and could be heard at any time IMO. The overall accessibility of this music, however, was shadowed by how incredibly expensive it is to go to see a live musical. I had to get season pass tickets to just get the chance to see Hamilton in my state’s theaters, which amounted to about $900. That was the only reason I bought the season pass. It was $900 for a gamble. Most people can’t swing that, and that’s only if the theaters that had Hamilton in their seasons were within easy travel for people, which is probably less likely for parts of the country. The musical being on a streaming platform finally breaks through that affluence barrier, allowing it to truly be a musical for the people’s enjoyment.

Another large pro is I believe a Disney+ specific pro, which is the possibility for children to be able to learn from the musical. Children can now be entertained for several hours while their parents are handling other matters, and during that time they will learn history in a way that is fun and easy to digest (I had no idea that Hamilton started the Coast Guard until this musical). They also get to have new people to idolize, like Eliza Hamilton who demonstrated poise, kindness and patience throughout the entire show and came out to be a complete Badass in the end with everything she accomplished after Alexander died. Lafayette was the noble eloquent powerhouse with his beautiful and quick raps and his demeanor, Hercules Mulligan was a complete rockstar in an entirely different way by acting as a spy. All of this allows the children to see a wide cast of characters that are all heroes in different ways based off of their personal characteristics, and I find that to be incredibly important. There is no one way to be a good person, or to be a hero.

The musical itself also speaks to race in a profound way, which I believe is important for the current political and social climate in the US right now. The POC cast gives some much needed diversity to musical theater as a whole, without the POCness of it being shoved down into people’s throats. There are no comments about race of the characters themselves; instead they just are who they are, and it fits and works very well. Slavery and the ills of slavery are also mentioned throughout the musical without it being a main focus; it’s just “These are our heroes, and they spoke out about slavery in these contexts” without that derailing the overall plot of the musical. Laurens believed what he believed and attempted to form a free Black Battalion, and his death and the loss of that idea was noted in the musical. Hamilton and Jefferson fought over slavery and economics in the first Cabinet Meeting. Eliza spoke out against slavery in her epilogue. And, all of this occurs just as another thread in the fabric of the story, gently and skillfully weaving a call for equal rights into every note and word; the musical is a continual call for justice and standing up for everyone, and that message is now available for everyone to consume now. That will be a powerful tool to help seed gentle thoughts in those that might be soon ready to change and learn. Perhaps this musical will be the final ray of sunshine that sends some confused folk to start to listen to the world around them.

The Cons:

The movie format doesn’t give the entire musical experience. The musical was filmed as it appears on stage with all of the original choreography, with several cameras set up to allow for close-ups and various angles of shots. This did at times take away from some of the more beautiful aspects of the musical, in that we missed choreography and the edges of the stage, as well as any work that the ensemble had put in to their own particular characters. As someone who has been in community musical theater productions before, I know I was encouraged to make any time I was on stage and interesting time, because “someone’s definitely going to be looking at me”. With all of the close ups and not-quite-full views of the stage, it in a way robbed the ensemble of getting to showcase their talents and their characters with the larger audience that is now available to see the musical as a whole. There were also gestures and cues that undoubtedly were given to the main actors that would look perfectly acceptable to an audience member given the amount of distance that is usually between an actor on stage and a viewer, which looked somewhat ridiculous when the actor was the sole person on screen. Both of these issues are largely due to formatting differences between musicals and movies, and absolutely when translating between the two some things are going to get lost. Tragic, but absolutely expected and not the inherent fault of anyone that attempted to bring the musical to the small screen.

 Overall I believe that the fact that Hamilton has been brought to a tv near you is a positive move. That still begs the question; why did Disney do this? Profit is possibly a big motivator. The musical became insanely popular almost immediately upon its release, and the fact that Disney could capitalize on that using its own platform would have been incredibly attractive for them. There are now potential merch deals, and all the musical lovers that wanted to see Hamilton that will now be getting a Disney+ subscription JUST so that they can see it is a real deal. Disney was also facing some backlash for taking their movies off of other platforms just to have their own personal paywall, so having a thing that was not originally theirs but is now exclusively available by them will allow some of the flack to die down.

Another possibility is the positive PR. Disney has been making strides in the past several years to appropriately manage their racist past by adding disclaimers to their old cartoons and movies, removing some outdated racist content from their streaming service, and by changing some of their amusement park rides to remove the more racist pieces (I personally am very excited to potentially get a Princess and the Frog ride instead of the one based on Songs of the South. IDK if that is going to happen, I think that was just a rumor, but I would love it to exist). Releasing and promoting Hamilton is a powerful way to not just put a band-aid on their past bad behavior, but to actively step forward with “This is what we believe and promote NOW.” Even if it is at its core just a financially-driven move, it is a positive step forward for the company as a whole, and will be more outwardly beneficial for all of the reasons I described earlier. It is also worth noting at this time that the recording that was released credited the performance to 2016, 4 years before its final release, which tells me that this was planned long in advance and is not simply a scrambling pro-BLM pandering move though it may have been planned for a later release date and they moved it up to now. I’m not sure.

I know that these reasons don’t necessarily paint a very charitable image of Disney; it’s safe to say that I don’t have a lot of trust in the benevolence of large corporations, especially one that seems to own about 1/8 of the world in some way or another. It would take an incredible amount of time to dig into all of Disney’s branches to determine if their overall PR moves, donations and initiatives do align with the BLM movement. For example, I do believe they have a hand in some fast food industries, and I know that Chick-fil-a is discriminatory, and some of Wendy’s donations also belie a discriminatory bend to the upper echelons of control in that company. So, I don’t entirely know if I trust Disney’s overall motivations without knowing more about the entire conglomeration. If you all got to the end of this, thank you for reading my rant. I hope you have a lovely day.