#like when she told micaela shes not her mother and to stop whining | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ambition-of-a-vixen · 7 years

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Primavera renascido

Kalina was awaken to see her maids buzzing around her, Iliana was carrying her tablet acting as Kalina’s personal assistant, Eva came before her carrying breakfast, Soledad stood with a mannequin in the shape of her princess, she was skilled seamstress as well as an impeccable taste in fashion, she was trying to create something that would allow Kalina to express she was in mourning. She saw Xhana carrying flower petals into the bathroom, she was preparing for her princess weekly milk bath. She saw them being effective when all she wanted to do was roll over and cry. She been in and out of sleep all morning, miserable. She looked to her side remembering she was not in her bedroom that she shared with her husband from the day she lost her first child to the day she found out she was with child, her husband’s child. She remembered the morning before he left. She felt nauseous most of the time and needed to lay down more often.

'She had woke up at 4 am, it was 8 am in Bulgaria and her typical time to wake up in Bulgaria, she was still getting used to the schedule especially when he allowed her to go to sleep when she felt like it. She looked around, frowning because he was going to be leaving her that day to travel south without her. It was the first time they were going to be separated from one another. She laid with him nude, she didn’t use her pillow most of the time, she would lay against him, her head on his chest. She ran her fingers through his chest hair. “Misha, honey, wake up. I don’t feel sick right now and you will need to get ready for your trip.” She whispered to him.” He was already all packed up and would need to just get dressed, but he couldn’t leave without satiating her need for him. She moved to sit on him, laying across his chest, she started kissing on the side of his face. She wondered how he felt when she started to bet aroused. “Misha, I love you.” She whispered in Portuguese. She wanted him to remember that when he was gone. She wanted him to recall how she felt and wanting to hurry home to her. She missed him already. She was already starting to feel the wave that started before she felt light headed. She kissed his lip.'

She felt like weeping again when she thought about that. She missed her husband, it was painful to be in Brazil when he wasn’t here with her anymore. She could barely stand to be in her room that she shared with him. That room was locked and untouched while she slept in her old room, she struggled being in there. Eva coughed, Kalina turned over, glaring at her maid. Ever since the they had found out about the crash, her maids had became more demanding with Kalina taking care of herself. “Princess, you must eat, for your sake as well as the Prince’s heir sake. Xhana has drawn you a bath, Soledad has pulled out choices for you to choose to wear and Iliana is ready to send word to her royal highness, princess Ivana and Lady Zoe Turbin. She has drafted a letter to her royal highness, Princess Larissa informing her of your pregnancy, instructing her to keep it to herself. Princess we must keep moving. We need you to, please princess.” Eva begged her princess. Kalina sat up sighing, she ran her hand through her hair. Eva and Iliana are by her side always. “I am trying to not be what they think I will be. I want blood. My husband was on his way here. He was suppose to be here, we were suppose to have a life time. He told me he was Imperador, he told me I was to be imperatriz, but he is Principe Miguel and I’m Princesa Kalina, this isn’t right! I shouldn’t be having to rely on Viktor being a failure! I am meant to be Tsaritsa of Brazil, not trying to remove it from tsesarevich Viktor. Vitya is my beloved brother but dammit, I will not have displacement when it comes to my child. I am meant to be empress, I refuse to grow old holding the title Tsarevna! I will rule a nation dammit or so help me. I rather stay in bed than act out how I want to be. I just feel pain and sadness, I want everyone else to feel it. You all feel sadness for the lost of your prince, you feel sad because you dislike seeing me this upset. But it’s not enough. They pity me, they are all expecting me to be like he thought I was. The new age Bloody Mary. I don’t want to. I want to be just Kalina right now, future manka. They want to keep demanding my time.” Kalina whined she was so upset about everything. They were holding a state funeral for her husband but it only depressed her more and more.

The first day they had a horse drawn caravan, pulling an empty casket with the Brazilian flag donned on the casket, Kalina rode with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law, donned in all black, a peineta and mantilla also in black. As the duchess of Granada, it was something that they wore there. The first day was an black dress that came just below her knees, a line dress, low cut with caped sleeves. She learned to keep her facial expression stoic, with difficulty to express her emotions, she figured it would be easier than looking stressed out because she would struggle to convey her emotions. She sought to be next to Larissa that day. She was someone Miguel loved deeply, he saw his sister and got happy. She wanted that around her. She looked to the casket, recalling he wanted her softer. Kalina sighed, she reached out, taking Larissa’s hand. “In my language, Miguel name is Mikhail and I call him Misha. Your name is in my language, but your nickname is Lara. I call my siblings by there nicknames, Ivana is Ivaskha to the family and Vanya to the public, Anelia is Aneskha, Viktor is Vitya. My family calls me Kaliskha and the public when speaking on their princess Kalya. As Misha is my love and my family. You’re his family, so you’re my family. If you don’t mind I wish to call you Lara. I have something to share with you…alone.” Kalina said to Larissa. She was going to need her for her little star that was the shape of an Appleseed in her. She felt resentment growing in her like wildfire. She could barely look at the sky hearing the planes. She swallowed hard. She didn’t want to hear that, not right now. She beaconed for Iliana to come hither, instructing her to find the police chief telling them to radio in tell them not to fly over the funeral unless they wanted to deal with her wrath. She was in a mood where she was willing to shoot a plane down. She knew they would take her word seriously, that was what happens when she drowned her sister, her favorite sister at that. Today was one of the worst days to piss her off but she had an excuse, she was hormonal and lost the love of her life. She swallowed hard, she felt light head, she needed to puke, but if she did, people would start to wonder if she was pregnant. She needed it to stay secret. She needed to keep control, leaning over and throwing up wasn’t a good look. She considered laying on Larissa’s shoulder, people might find it cute. She reveled in the memory of the people knowing that she faints when she is overheated. She pulled out her small hand held fan, trying to cool herself down, it was all she could do trying to save face. She was so relieved to see the palace. She looked out, looking for her maids, making eye contact with Xhana. She was standing to assist her mistress, her women knew she must have been famished and probably trying to hold herself together. But there was someone standing next to her. Kalina was interesting to see him. He was beautiful but she had no desire for him. She just wanted her husband, everywhere she looked, she could see him. The Caravan stopped, Kalina watched that instead of Xhana come to the come to the door for her. As it was her husband’s funeral, she took priority but wondered if the queen was trying to put herself first here. Kalina’s thoughts grew dark towards the things she wanted to do to the queen. She didn’t care that she was queen and his mother, she was his wife and mother of his child. Regardless of if anyone knew, she was proud that she held a part of him in her. She knew the moment they past the church what she wanted to meme her child, and been thinking about it since. She told him she wanted to be the uncorrupted, she held the uncorrupted in her, their angel, Gavrail or Gabriela. For their father, the child would carry the name Miguel or Micaela. That’s how far she got. “Her Royal Highness, Princess Kalina, I’m here to assist you.” The man who was with Xhana said, he had a French accent and it made her question if Jean had flown her in her time of need. But why would he not want to be seen during the funeral? She doubt someone would try to snatch her here in of all of the people. She placed her hand in his, allowing him to help her out. Xhana watched her mistress knowing that she was curious to know who the man was that was following behind her as someone else came to assist the queen out. She was lead inside following the empty casket, she had to remain strong when all she wanted to do was cause everyone else to feel what she felt, it was unfair. She forced herself to think of Larissa, she would surely want to help her raise her little niece or nephew. She realized why Miguel would always talk about his sister, she was so pure, she could prevent people like them from creating atrocities. Kalina hated decorum that allowed her to show she was happy with her husband but limited the public display of affection she could have with him. Now she could have teary eye but to show how she truly felt; telling everyone but a few they could go fuck themselves because they allow such incompetence when it comes to checking the aircraft. Her husband should have been alive, they should have gone to see the doctor to see how far along she was. She should have been by his side at meetings and choosing a cause to work on to help improve the nation. Kalina was furious now, she was so lethargic at this point. She was thinking that her baby had saved her, between the baby and the increase of heat, she was too sick to travel. If she hadn’t gotten sick she would have gone with him and been dead but if he knew that she was pregnant then he might have stayed and been with her versus on that plane. He would have been in bed rubbing on her while she would have been looking up neonatal specialist to bring and be apart of the staff and when should she go see the doctor and everything else riddling her.

It was those thoughts that occupied her mind when she felt like she was going to be in a dangerous place of being upset. From her research she knew she had to her fourth to do anything without her bump showing well. She knew if she was to throw her knife at dinner at the first person to look at her wrong she would just blame the hormones of her pregnancy and the loss of the husband she loves. She was to follow them placing the casket in the hall as was to remain till the priest said that it was the end of today’s things. Kalina was ready to get away from the people, crying, yelling, passing out as his casket came by, while she had to stay in decorum, but this was her husband. She should have been the one to do all of that. But these were his people, she reminded herself these were the people he loved. Rather than retiring to her room like she wanted knowing she needed to eat, she started having aura headaches, she started going to the people. Walked in to a group of what look like orphan children. “Are you from the local orphanage?” She asked looking them over. The kids looked at her with big eyes that told her she was right. She crouched down beaconing them to come closer. “Óla meninos, thank you for coming to celebrate my husband’s life and mourn the loss of this nations great prince. His royal highness would want you guys to do something and now that he isn’t here, I will ask for him; I want you all to go, go forth in life and be the best version of you and do your best in life. He believes…believed that there is so much that you all can do, but you must try. Will you live out his legacy?” She spoke to the children in their Portuguese but her Bulgarian accent was present to remind them that she didn’t belong here without her husband. She wiped away the tears of the children, one being so callous to fling her arms around the princess’ neck and sobbing. That almost broke Kalina. She knew her whole speech was on camera and the girl hugging her was too. She blamed her hormones but she was almost in tears. She pulled her off. “Wipe your eyes and chin up, you have to have decorum little one. You have on a crown, that means you’re a princess, no? Princesses have to hold there heads up and be strong. What’s your name?” She asked the girl. The little girl looked at Kalina surprised. “Alma your royal highness.” She said meagerly. “In Bulgaria where I am from, when the people like me, they call me Princess Kalya, will you?” She asked standing up. The girl nodded, Kalina stuck her hand out, allowing Alma to take it. She had to remember here and everywhere else besides Bulgaria, nodding meant yes while shaking her head meant no. “Remember a princess will always use her words. Especially since I was taught nodding meant no.” She said to the girl guiding her to her side. Alma looked up to her amused. Kalina felt it was her duty to address the people thanking them for coming working on trying to humanize her portrayal. The little girl kept her from passing out and to remind her to stay strong. She felt like protecting the child. That had to have been her hormones right. The people looked at her sympathetically, some puzzled by the little Brazilian child by her side. But she didn’t care, Alma was like her surrogate child. She prayed the little girl wasn’t an orphan or she was going to have her fate sealed. Going through the crowd she could see how much his people truly did love him. She wanted that for her little Gavrail or Gabriela. Ganya, that was the nickname in her language. She was to call her child that. It was time for her to go to her room now. She turned to Alma. “Princess Alma, I give you the choice, you come with me and my lady’s maid, Iliana will adopt you, or you will come to me from time to time, visiting me receiving a royal treatment and I will serve as your benefactor. I will pay for you to go to school, best schools in Brazil and college anywhere you want. I will want you to travel with me when you aren’t in school and you must promise me that you will not be a naughty girl like I was. No hitting and no drowning people.” She said presenting the girl with options. She was bold, Kali liked that, she could have been shot on sight for jumping on her like that, but she did it regardless. The little girl looked at the princess confused. “Princess Kalya, I want a family.” She said in a small voice. Kalina was ready to pass out but she couldn’t. She caressed the girls face. She pulled off her veil. “Alma, come back tomorrow wearing this and a tell the guards to let you in and bring you to Ms Cardoso or Ms Ribeiro, those are my lady’s maids. The secret password is Sofia Brasilia. Being with you, people will want to adopt you, I’ll over see your adoption into a good family or you can be adopted by my maid. She is a good woman, but she is unmarried, so their is no papa. I have my reasons not to adopt but you much make but you have been what I need in this time. I will not leave you for memory, be my beneficiary or my lady’s daughter.” Kalina offered the girl again. The little girl took the veil, she wrapped it around her head trying to imitate Kalina. She made the princess smile. The girl wrapped her arms around the princess neck, hugging her. “I will be go with you and visit you.” Alma said, Kalina wrapped her arms around the girl. She was growing annoyed with the cameras snapping around her. Kalina pulled away. “Ms Cardoso!” Kalina said called out for Soledad. She pulled her ladies maid close so the paparazzi couldn’t hear what she was to say. “Sola, please take Alma to her residence, let the mistress know that she was with me. Tell them that Her Royal Highness Kalina, Princess Consort of the crown prince of Brazil request for Alma’s file. Tell them she is to come tomorrow morning, get her clothing size. Tell the headmistress to join her when she comes in the morning.” Kalina instructed her lady then turning to face the girl. She stuck her hand out to Alma bringing her to Soledad. “Alma this is Ms Cardoso, she gonna take you back. Promise me you will be back.” Kalina said relying on the girl to be strong. She shook her head smiling to the princess, “I’ll be back.” She promised. Xhana came to the princess’ side. She guided her princess to the further more interior portion of the palace. Kalina stumbled going towards the wall. Xhana helped eased her lady down then ran for help, finding Kaiser, the young man who helped her princess out of the caravan. She led him through the secret passages that Soledad showed her that was shown to her by people who were here much longer than she. She grabbed a bag plate containing crackers layers wither cucumbers, sundried tomatoes sirene, a Bulgarian cheese and glazed with Balsamic Vinegar. They found Kalina who fainted. Kaiser ran to the princess trying to fan her. “I heard she got hot, but fainting? What if someone found her?” He said worried. He scooped the princess into his arms. Xhana placed her hand on her princess’ forehead. “She will be okay, we need to get her to her room now.” She said knowing her lady was going through the motions of morning sickness. She had to get her to bed, guiding him to get her lady to bed.

Kalina had awaken in bed, food beside her head. Iliana was beside her folding the dress she wore during the caravan. “Kalya you need to eat. Eva found a world renowned neonatal nurse. If she pleases you, I will arrange for her to come to you at your command.” Iliana said to her mistress. Kalina sat up eating what was set for her. She patted her bed. “Ili, go retrieve the others. We need to talk about Ganya. Tell Anya to get that young man as well. I want to know who he is since he was the one to do her job for her.” Kalina said, she was intrigued to know who was with Xhana.

Eva was the first to come in first, grabbing her lady’s food, leading her into the common area of her quarters. She sat besides Kalina as she kept eating, brushing her hair. “Your change in diet has done good for your body. The fruits here are better than back in Sofia.” Eva said softly in Bulgaria to her princess. She laughed. She recalled sitting in her husband’s lap in the kitchen, they had just finished having sex and she was feeding him fruit, wanting to replenish his strength. His kisses tasted like fruit and they made a mess. She was sure the laundry staff hated that they dragged sheets down with them on that excursion, sheets stained from the fruit. She sighed, that was over now, she was going to get swelled ankles and not be able to sleep right and he for all she knew was having his carcass being picked apart by some animal who thought he was delicious. She had to check herself before she grew envious that some animal was probably thinking her husband was delicious. She locked all over that man, she knew he was delightful and one hell of a delivery man. “Misha’s land is straight from the source. I bet it is. I don’t quite feel like eating but I know I should, the smell of this alone makes me want to vomit.” She said trying to get through her meal. Her food aversion started but she needed to eat before she past out again. “Eat Kalya, you have to eat. It will be good. We will get you some chicken and rice with some soda. That will help.” Eva said, pulling out her phone to tell the others to grab Kalina’s dinner before they came in. Kalina rolled her eyes. Xhana came in with Kaiser following behind her. Soledad was next with Iliana coming in with the tray of food. Kalina looked them over. “Sola, Ili, Anya, sit, must go over today.” She addressed them in her native language. She looked up to Kaiser. “Your Royal Highness, Princess Kalina, I am Kaiser, your lady’s maids thought I would be of usefulness being in your service.” He said prostrating himself to her. Kalina looked to Ili then Eva, they seemed amused but they could have been charmed by his face. “A little caesar wishes to serve me. Are you an ambitious man or are you going to serve me. I need loyalty if you are to serve me. I need to know that if I said to have an asp bite you and die with me that you would. These women have vowed to do so. Iliana and Eva are like the Charmain and Iras to my Kleopatra. Soledad and Xhana as well. I rely on them to be my team. I don’t trust others well. You will need to do a task if you are up to being on my service.” Kalina said, her accept was strong. Soledad handed her the file on Alma. “Ah…little Alma Primavera…my beneficiary.” She mused.

#para #self para #meet Alma #meet Kaiser #alma #Kaiser #Soledad #Xhana #Eva #Iliana #Ili #sola #soli #Anya

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