#like yeah ok she just lives there now. cool <33

[trainingdummyrabbit]

there is now a small susa on my desktop theme that i have no idea how to get rid of. this is the funniest possible ending.

[iworshipsappho]

HI YES I HAVE SOME CERES QUESTIONS OMG

1) what's her backstory?? 2) how is she with animals?/ any familiars? (i'm guessing there's some aquatic stuff involved?) 3) do they trust easily or are they cautious?? 4) are they comfortable with hugs and hair ruffles and physical touch in general? 5) are there any similarities between you and him???? 6) why did you chose the name ceres, which is very pretty and awesome btw? 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼

HI HELL YAEH :3!!!!

ok so here we goooo

hmm her backstory is what ive been working on for a while now, and yet i only have a few titbits here and there. one really cool thing i figured out a few weeks back is that he is ex-nobility, as in either she left nobility or was kicked out. this lil piece of information is evident in the way they absolutely loooove gold decor and jewellery. im still not sure why exactly they left, but i wanna get that sorted by this week >:)

they fucking loooove animals, to ceres, animals > human or like person interaction. her favourite animals are foxes :33 they've befriended a lot of foxes and she probably has names for each of them bc even tho he looks really stoic on the outside, he's a big softie on the inside but is just too scared to show it out. mmm also since they're an earth genasi, they live in the his world equivalent of a merge between a minecraft spruce biome and an oak biome, wait i think i have a picture lemme just check

^^^ they live on this island !!!!

3. mmm they used to be verrryyy trusting in their teens, but something happened that made her put up a hard exterior and protecc the guy inside :((

4. again, they used to be, but etc etc happened and he hasnt really had any intereaction with people in years almost, the closest he's come to that is with the gnome village nearby who view her as a deity (i just thought of this might not be canon in the future aka in 10 mins lmfao)

5. !!!!! MMM SO we used to be the exact same person but then ceres became more ceres than me, so while yes there are a lotta similarities, he's also become a character who isnt entirely me lmao. mmm. our similarities are probably that we both find comfort in our hobbies, writing for me and wood carving for her, and sometimes would prefer to not have any human interaction, yers in their case, also they used to be like reallllyyyy talkative in her teens but then Shit Happened

6. I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THE ORIGIN OF THE NAME SO HELL YEAH THANKS FOR ASKING ME HEHE SO i always wanted ceres to be associated with the earth, so immediately i thought of like greek gods who were related to earthy shit, and my first thought was demeter right, but i didnt want it to be demeter bc demeter didnt fit the vibes i was going for sooooo i went hmm whats the roman version, guess what. it was ceres!!!!! AND THE COOL PART IS ceres is also the name of a dwarf planet, its my favourite one now sorry make-make, but like its so cool bc the name ceres combines 2 of my oldest obsessions, greek mythology from when i was 10 and space shit, which i was obsessed with till i was like 7 and still retain some of the knowledge i got from like boring through 3 encyclopedias on space lmao

💜

[chronologicalhomestuck]

karkat pov liveblog: hivebent, part 2

and im back! in the present, apparently.

But not too far into the present. Right around this moment, with Karkat and the toilet, during a conversation we have already read...

which was in my previous post. since im doing this in a LOGICAL and REASONABLE order.

AG: Hey 8rave leader. CG: OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME. AG: Can I join your team? CG: YES I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, BECAUSE THERE IS A WIDE OPEN SLOT FOR THE MOST VILE BACKSTABBING SOCIOPATH WHO EVER LIVED.

hello, vriska.

CG: I'VE GOT THE BETTER SCOURGE SISTER ON MY TEAM AND IF YOU BREAK YOUR TRUCE YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER TO HER. CG: THE FUNNY THING IS SHE WAS ALWAYS WAY BETTER THAN YOU EVEN WITHOUT ANY POWERS. CG: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, I KNOW YOUR WHOLE STORY.

i suppose i might as well play dumb about this. terezi and vriska have history, now do they? what might this entail?

CG: HEY LOOK AT ME BEING THE ONE TO TALK SHIT AT WARP SPEED THEN LOG OFF BEFORE YOU CAN REPLY. CG: BYE, IDIOT. carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] AG: Oh, 8ack so soon! Did your thum8 slip on the 8utton???????? AG: I guess you can't get enough of me. AG: ::::) CG: YOU MADE ME DO THAT. CG: AND YOU KNOW IT. AG: You 8n't got nothing on me and you can't prove shit!!!!!!!!

and then this bit that is WAY funnier than it has any right to be. hey this isnt relevant but look at this animation of this scene. onto nepeta!

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling arsenicCatnip arsenicCatnip [AC] CG: HEY. AC: :33 < *ac perks up curiously* AC: :33 < *she wiggles her rear end a bit and then chases something she s33s bounce into one of karkats shoes* CG: KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE HAS TO SINK THIS LOW. CG: KARKAT CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S ASKING AN AUTISTIC GIRL IN A CAVE TO JOIN HIS TEAM.

the drama of attempting to build the team continues. oh karkat i know youre trying to be ableist but she probably doesnt notice its supposed to be insulting. on account of the autism. that she has. and wonders why hes stating this fact. (#relatable)

CG: OK, BRIEFING: CG: ME, TEREZI, GAMZEE AND TAVROS ARE ALL PLAYING NOW. CG: THE CONNECTION ORDER IS AT -> TC -> GC -> CG.

not bad progress on planning this! i feel like the pacing is more obvious from this perspective. like we rlly gotta get all these guys into the medium asap! karkat is already in there though and i think all these team member shenanigans have been distracting him...

jack has come across this little shouty troll kid. naturally, being jack, he wants to stab him...

stab him he does.

karkat is pretty unconcerned with this injury and is just being a pretty miserable mess about the possibility of his blood being discovered.

poor kid. apparently jack thinks that this is the saddest thing hes ever heard. yeah, karkat is such a pathetic crybaby that this fuckin guy who loves stabbing people feels bad for him.

pretty interesting how much it resembles the blood symbol, huh

this alone makes karkat immediately imprint on him like a baby chicken since hes apparently a very weird kid.

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

ok the actual extension puts something else after this but im skipping it for now. to maintain the best chronology im skipping to this conversation with vriska. he rants to her about quadrants, then tells her about jack.

CG: I MEAN HE'S JUST STANDING HERE NOW. CG: WAITING FOR ME I GUESS. CG: BUT IT'S OK, I THINK HE'S PRETTY MUCH SETTLED DOWN. AG: Settled down? CG: WELL, HE STABBED ME ONCE. AG: Oh, only once! AG: Are you sure you should trust him? I don't know if I would, 8ut hey I'm not the leader. CG: NO, NO, IT'S COOL. CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE?

honestly i always read vriska's "only once" there as sarcasm but then i met someone who read it as a genuine reaction and thats just as funny. whether vriska is being like oh a little stabbing is fineeeeeeee or shes being like what do you MEAN only once dude. both are funny.

AG: Doesn't Trollian have some kind of viewport feature? CG: YEAH BUT I'M PRETTY SURE ONLY SOLLUX KNOWS HOW TO SET THAT UP, AND HE'S BEEN INCOMMUNICADO FOR HOURS FOR SOME REASON.

sollux isnt answering (dead and going on dream adventures) so they dont get to set up their trollian viewports until they get to the veil. whoops im getting ahead of myself. and of the timeline.

CG: JUST GET YOUR ASS IN HERE SO WE CAN DETHRONE THIS GODDAMN QUEEN. CG: IT'LL MEAN ONE LESS GOD BOSS WE HAVE TO FIGHT. AG: Fine, I'll be right there.

and we are planning to take down the queen!

just so this doesnt get too long im gonna continue this in another post.

[monsterslament]

HI I want to talk about my fairy characters so if ur interested in that then !! here's ur chance

ok so basically aurelius is one of the three leaders of the fae court of iridescence :)) the courts (made by erin bc i cant spell her url) are more like small villages or kingdoms i think but like. ask her more about how that works bc i dont wanna say anything wrong . but !!

the court of iridescence is based on bugs and pretty fish and like . anything that looks outwardly pretty or has bright colors like poison frogs or something. the court is supposed to be like a fairytale kingdom with mushroom houses and big festivals all the time n stuff.

aurelius is like the party planner of the royal three because they love to host big dances and town festivals for literally whatever they decide is a holiday now. the towns people all participate bc they're a big community that all works together and they hang out. they have big communal gardens that almost everyone contributes to with big fruit trees and bushes and its just sooo pretty. aurelius is genderfluid and goes by any pronouns btw and yes they do smell like gummy bears <3

cassandra is another one of the royalty there and she's based on the palos verdes blue butterfly :) shes a little smaller than the others but she lives in a big castle thats all pretty and light blue n stuff. i dont have much for her yet but if people need to talk they come to her. she's graceful and kind and a good healer and fighter :) her wings are very small bc the butterfly irl is really small and I wanted to get that small cute vibe yk. technically all the royals fall under the trans umbrella and Cassandra is nonbinary and uses she/they pronouns. they're all gender neutral when they're born. or would it be intersex bc it's like a choose ur gender thing in a character creator. like they can just choose body parts too bc. they're fairies come on. but as they develop they figure out more about how they want to present so. same goes for regular court members they aren't confined to human biology

the last of the three royals is romulus and hes based on the lily moth. he's super tall and his wings are big and strong enough to let him fly hes so cool. he's more quiet but hes very polite and sweet. he has a sweet tooth and he can be found at night wandering the town with a lantern doing his best to keep everyone safe :) there's no real dangers to them but he also likes just watching over his people. romulus uses he/they pronouns also :)

there's also maximilian who's aurelius's partner and he's so sweet. he's tall and quiet but not as tall as romulus . him and another minor character both play strong instruments with maximilian playing cello and Cyril (the other character) playing viola :) him and aurelius are soo in love its insane they're soo sappy and romantic all the time. they call each other by their full first names a lot bc they want to draw out their conversations with each other. they're soo sweeties ugh I love them

i dont have anything else to say rn so. that's it !! but like yeah I love my fairies ok byee :33

[wetthandss]

ok here's my favourite pokemon. it should be complete bc I looked very throroughly through my book :] sorry it took so long, hope it's good!

Marshtomp Swampert Mudkip Aron & Lairon & Aggron Araquanid Rotom Incineroar Galvantula Quagsire Froslass Flygon Porygon(2) Ditto Wooper Wobbuffet Relicanth Reuniclus

Mudkip is my fave starter from Hoenn she's literally perfect though I don't care too much for swampert it just doesn't read as a mudskipper anymore.

Aron and Lairon are beautiful little bugs and I like Aggron cause I like pokemon that look like kaiju.

Araquanid is a little out of my realm cause I stopped paying very much attention to Pokemon after Unova but it is cute and I definitely agree that it's far superior to Dewpider.

Rotom is a perv soo that's pretty cool and also michaelwave

Incineroar I really prefer the rest of its family I don't really like big macho characters unless they're really funny about it (like another buff pokemon Buzzwole or real life pro wrestling)

Galvantula is awesome and I love just how fuzzy it is, I know I would be so so scared of it irl but in the pokemon world im not sure if i would even have arachnaphobia. Hey. Do you think people in the pokemon world get pokephobia. How the fuck do they live with that it's like being afraid of breathing air.

Quagsire/wooper is BABY BOY and clodsire is my fuckingprecious

Froslass is really pretty and I kinda wish I could cosplay her, though I also wish that there were male froslass!

Flygon is like in my mind right now I have been obsessed with flygon for the past like two weeks because that pokemon carried me through almost my entire White 2 playthrough like from Nimbasa to post-game I used almost exclusively Flygon, really good stats and levitate is nice but the real killer was the diversity of move types that I was able to get and stick with. Its name is ANT.

Porygon2 is a rubber ducky and I like rubber ducky but i don't have strong feelings about this one, i think having a real rubber ducky in the shape of porygon2 would be really cute though

I like Ditto. :)

Wobbuffet is a really old favourite of mine cause I liked Jessie's wobbuffet in the anime as a kid

Relicanth is AWESOME and i love it and the fish its based on cause I love the way it combines the real fish and the *legend* of the fish, like, same goes for the fish too, its literally a modern legend. I wish relicanth was actually a mythical or legendary pokemon.

Reuniclus kinda sticks out in my head a lot because not too long ago my friends were asking me if i would fuck the solosis family and I said yeah. I've never used them cause I don't prioritise psychic types in my party but they are a really fun concept.

Very solid picks this belies really good taste in Pokemon but lets look at the stats

Water: 4 Ground: 3 Rock: 2 Bug: 2 Electric: 2 Ghost: 2 Normal: 2 Psychic: 2 Steel: 1 Fire: 1 Dark: 1 Ice: 1 Dragon: 1

You have a favourite in 13/18 or 72% of all types (except ???) and a slight proclivity towards water and ground type pokemon.

Now let's look at stat totals, as of generation 9.

They're in here in alphabetical order.

THE BIG GIRL TABLE

Highest HP: Wobbuffet at 190 Highest ATK: Incineroar at 115 Highest DEF: Aggron at 180 Highest Sp.ATK: Reuniclus at 125 Highest Sp.DEF: Araquanid at 132 Highest SPD: Froslass at 110 Highest total: Wobbuffet at 405 Highest average: Swampert at 89.17

THE BABY PISS PANTS TABLE

Lowest HP: Ditto at 48 Lowest ATK: Wobbuffet at 33 Lowest DEF: Wooper at 45 Lowest Sp.ATK: Wooper at 25 Lowest Sp.DEF: Wooper at 25 Lowest SPD: Wooper at 15 Lowest total: Wooper at 210 Lowest average: Wooper at 35

So what have we learned here? WOOPER SUCKS.

I looked online and the average stats over ALL POKEMON as of gen 7 was

Wooper is actually the 21st lowest average stats. Swampert isn't the greatest but it's pretty damn up there.

FYCJJ !!!!!!!!!!!!1 THE DOWNFALL OF WOPER

[sneak-a-cat]

Breaking bad season 1

Episode 1:

imma be honest with you i have seen the first episode before and it was like. aight from what i can remember, but it was a wee while ago

when was this made why does it feel like i can taste the screen with how it looks

2008. yeah that tracks

what a start why is walter not wearing any clothes except for pants??

they have just crashed a car, awesome i love them already

Yo Mr White why do you have hair??

jessie looks half dead this s tragic

"hartwell"? ok mr weird middle name

the weird intro twang is here, we love to hear it

i am enjoying the element puns in the names, i like that they capitalise it properly even at the end of a name

he is 50, amazing

i assure you i would taste the difference in veggie bacon, cholesterol be damned

oh he is teaching... badly?

oh nvm he took fire out quickly to grab attention and changed its colour, awesome

he works two jobs? poor guy... he must be tired

oh no i remember this, he is cleaning cars and his students find out and they make fun of him... :(

Nobody seems to like Walter?? why am i so upset about this??

i can't tell if him and his wife are domestic or like. a weirdly sad

oddest scene with a hand job i have ever seen? i think?

mr coughs a lot cancer boy, please go to the doctor.

oh and he has collapsed nice one

tell your wife you have cancer you idiot

what is his wives name... google help me Skyler aha gotcha

"i said 'fuck you' AND your eyebrows" i love this man he is hilarious and sad like a wet cat

"Cap'n Cook" thats an amazing name

Walter is appalled by the lack of professional decorum by the police force <3 (they were betting on the race of the meth cook)

ok this swat scene is fun... i'm into it, we shall see how fight scenes go

JESSE YAY!!

off he runs, Jesse is free, i love him <333

ok so he is out of school, previous student of Walt, interesting

jesse you are so stupid... he has his car plate as "the cap" or something, you silly guy your name is "Cap'n Cook" you silly silly boy

Skyler writes? that's fun, i hate her sister she can fuck off and die

actors are good, i don't like the characters as intended

walter is stealing supplies you go girl, commit those crimes

aw walter is being a nerd about beakers and flasks <33

he knows his stuff lets go chemistry teacher man

please don't snort chilli powder

"you can dress up like a faggot all you want, not me" bbg, jesse you are giving me some sort of vibe and homophobic was not one of them

"he's just gonna break bad" he said the thing!! yay jesse

jesse is being very reasonable, you do need to discuss why you are doing this with him walter

I like walters kid

ableist assholes in the background can fuck off, little bastards

Walt you go bbg beat their asses, you go girl

i like how Walter Jr just looks hella pleased that his dad just beat them

"cow house?" "yeah where they live? the cows?" amazing interaction, jesse you are so stupid <3

Jesse is horrified by Mr White in his underwear

they are making chemistry seem cool (and not tedious) and showing differences in the characters in a montage, awesome

puppies!

jesse is shit at talking big, jesse is shit at talking in general alright then

Mr White please just bring some clothes to wear dedicated to using in the lab. stop stripping near nude

jesse i love your pathetic ass

he fell over instantly in a chase <3 he is useless <3

chemistry boy just poisoned people you, Yo Mr White your a badass

he is also the sweatiest man in the west

ok i think i'll like the fight scenes and shit, this seems to be banger, we are back at the start of the episode and now we know how we got here, nice i like it

oh jeez walter just tried to commit suicide but safety was on alrighty then

Walter just proper yarfed after being cool and explaining his plan, nice one man

why is there money in the dryer??

episode ended with him having sex with his wife awesome.

[zalrb]

OTH REWATCH REVIEW 3X02

A couple of anons have asked about my reviews so I did one :)

1. I don’t think you guys realize how 00s this whole look is

2. They’re really playing up this whole fire thing. That’s OTH, man, subtlety like a fucking brick.

3. I like that Anna is on Peyton’s side of the wall, that could’ve been interesting to explore.

4.

 That also would’ve been interesting.

5. “Are we friends?” “Tell you what, I’ll play you for it. Game to 11.” Jesus christ.

6. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

7. Yo, Haley comes back to town SO indignant and I’m just like, what did you EXPECT?

8. “What the heck?” LOL really? Haley can’t say ‘hell’?

9. Peyton exhausts me.

10. I am forwarding through this Peyton/Ellie scene, I can’t do it.

11.

Like, I’m tired.

12. I was also tired when it was Elena’s storyline

Do boys ever get this storyline?

13. This is a really long scene to look at Hilarie struggling to cry

14. That looks like a pretty uncomfortable couch, Brooke.

15. omg their chemistry totally disappeared.

16. “Oh, by the way, I think I found a pair of your black gloves, leather right?” This dialogue is killing me.

17. This is such a long episode. Jesus.

18. Ugh, Keith and Karen, I just never got into them.

19. The pacing is SO slow. It’s like season 1.

20. “You’ve changed.” I mean, not really, he just isn’t talking to you, Haley. You kissed a guy, went on a tour, didn’t correct Chris when he said you two were dating on live TV, said that you thought they made a mistake when he drove across the country to see you, didn’t visit him in the hospital when he crashed a car, and called him twice throughout the entire ordeal. He doesn’t have much to say to you.

21. Shiftiest fucking drug dealer.

22. “Oh, look, it’s Tim, I had a dream you died.” The delivery.

23. Brooke dragging Peyton to the party to be a DJ is like OK respect your friend’s headspace but Peyton purposefully putting on depressing music because everyone has to suffer for her bad mood is also super petty.

24. Dan is a terrible detective.

25. LONGING LUCAS

26. Hilarie and Chad don’t even really have chemistry as friends, they’re just kind of around each other.

27. Lmao Brooke, Peyton’s biological mother just showed up out of the blue, she’s going through some shit. It’s annoying but you can’t be surprised that shes in a weird headspace right now and you can’t force her to be out of it.

28.

He’s just not talking to her! Did we forget that he got into a car crash over her like 2 seconds ago? Lmao.

29. AM I MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR YET??????????????

30. AND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGINNNNNNNNNNNN. lol the 00s.

31. Nathan showing up, not even talking to Haley but burning Tim’s guitar is lol. idk maybe I’m just petty but I respect this Nathan.

32. The height difference tho

33. WHEN ALL YOU GOTTA KEEP IS STROOOOOOOOONG MOVE ALONG MOVE ALONG

34. I’M THE GUY FOR YOU BROOKE DAVIS.

FOR. FUCKING. LEYTON?

35. It would’ve also been cool if Brooke and Nathan developed a kind of friendship this year while Haley and Lucas were trying to win their affections

36. “It used to be my cocaine vial.” You did coke once, Peyton, relax. I feel like Dina in Superstore

37. Oh yeah, don’t mind me, I’m just a grown ass adult walking into a teen party. Fucking Dan.

38. DAN SAW LUCAS’ FACE IN THE FIRE. GUYS, OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL. Lmao, I don’t think I cared for that storyline even when watching it live.

[daydadahlias]

2, 11, 20, 32, 49 👀

hello amanda i am also mad at u but i will answer these asks anyway

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

ok, so i said previously that I'm obsessed with mini solo cups. I am also obsessed with... uh... looking around... thinking. OH I GOT A CACTUS PEN that i am really into. hold on lemme take a pic

i just think he has so much character and pizzazz.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

Boston! lol idk... I'm not a very traveled person. But I think if I could go anywhere, I'd probably teleport to one of my lil internet buddies. sorry if that's a lame answer. Yali is sick rn so I think I'd like to go to her house and make her some soup or smthn.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

fuck i have to talk about MORE things I'm obsessed with??? omg the pressure is immense and overwhelming, you know how much i hate talking about things!! I'm so unpassionate and shy. uhh, I'm also really obsessed with Rhett and Link today. I've been watching through their sextember segment in their podcast and that's been a lot of fun! My internet dads <33 I also just love hearing people talk openly and positively about their experiences with sex and how their viewpoints have matured as they've grown older. Rhett had a little recording of when he gave his 9 yo the sex talk and it made me laugh a lot <3

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

idk, man, I really like This World, actually, even with all its flaws. any other world would just have so many too... like, immediately i went "ooh superheroes" and then I thought of someone killing me with their laser eyes and i was like "maybe not"

49. Who do you text the most?

Fuck, I dont know?? I'm a chronic over-texter. Molly has said I basically livetweet in my friends dms and she's right. Like I just make conversation with the air. There's a lot of friends I talk to daily or almost daily. I talk to you a lot! I think we talk pretty much every day. And I talk to Yali every day!! I talk to Maya every day I think or almost every day. I usually catch her at 2 am before I go to bed. Only after I've said "good morning" to Maya can I truly sleep peacefully. I talk to Monse pretty much every day! I talk to Ashley almost every day. I annoy Anna most days. I livetweet at Molly almost every day. I talk to my irl friends Grace, Monroe, and Brilynn every day. Yeah, basically ig what I'm saying is I that I have a ton of super cool nice funny friends because I'm also so cool and nice and funny and we just cant get enough of each other day in and day out :/ yknow how it is. a real burden.

I think if we're measuring this numerically, the person who has gotten the most texts from me ever is Molly. I text her about dicks a lot.

for context, most of my other very close friends have about 20-30k messages from me.

nosy asks

[limerentdeath]

(2/3) Oh yeah when Greg was playing the Jurassic Park pinball machine, I went up to her and she was like oh hey what’s up and I said how was Sick New World. I told her I was gonna go but I couldn’t because I’m going to more festivals and she was like oh yeah I was gonna say you should’ve gone. And she asked what fests I was going to. That was cool. Anyway, back to the other scene. After the photos I asked Greg if he wants to play Mario kart because we need four people. He was so down. He was drunk at this point so he did whatever I asked. At some point around this time I said hi to goose shoes. Then we went over to the Mario kart place. There were already people playing so we had to wait. Two of them wouldn’t get off the game so me and Josh played. I won. Greg didn’t see it though because you had gotten impatient and went around the corner with Reba. He was very extremely attached to her the whole time. Then I played street fighter with him after I watched him play it with Reba. I can’t believe that happened. I told him I had never played it and I didn’t know what to do and he told me to just “do something/anything” (something along those lines, can’t remember the exact words). I was actually kicking his ass at some point. I told him he was letting me win and he was like no I’m not. We talked about what video games we play. I asked him what he plays even though I already know and he said Fortnite. I said I play that too. I asked him if he plays street fighter at home or just at arcades. He said when I was 13 yeah but not anymore. I asked him what consoles he had, and he said all of them. I told him I’ve never played streetfighter as a kid I only played Tekken. He seemed to think that was cool. He told me I’m cool. I said oh thanks, so are you. Then he said, how old are you? Then I looked in his eyes and said guess. He said 28. Then I said that’s the closest anyone has ever guessed and he started guessing lower 27, 26… I said 33 and he said no way. Then he said when’s your birthday I said March 3. Then he said oh Pisces all my friends are Pisces. Then he said I am an aeries March 27. Then I said that’s my grandma’s birthday. My favorite grandma. He said awww Grandma. At some point we’re playing this he said you used to live in the valley? Then he kept talking about how LA is too expensive now. And then me and my mom said yeah that’s why we left. He mentioned this because we had been talking about it when he was playing the Jurassic Park game, when I told him where I used to live in LA because he asked me. Now that I think about this. This actually happened somewhere between the Jurassic Park game and the Mario kart. I can’t remember why we were standing there. Anyway. He was familiar with the town I grew up in. Except he thought it was in the valley which it’s not. OK coming back in chronological order now. He beat me at the Street fighter. Reba said she had to pee.. Then Greg said yeah, I gotta piss too. I let them go cause I knew they would come back. But Greg and the guy were just standing there outside the bathroom. Reba was taking a really long time in the bathroom. So I went over to them. My mom told Greg I had something to tell him. I had just been talking to her about it. About how I had blood on my brand new shirt. The possum one. He said, where is that from. I said I don’t know, someone. And he said you are so cool and hugged me. I asked him if it’s a possum or rat and he wasn’t sure. He looked at my mom and said what’s your name again? and I hope I see you again at some thing else. He hugged her. He told her I’m great or something like that. We started talking about the Vancouver venue. Oh yeah when we were waiting for Mario kart. I asked him if he likes that venue tomorrow. He said it’s like the only one there. Where else is there? I told him I’ve been to Vancouver three times and every time I went to that place. But that’s not true so then I told him I saw Guns N’ Roses/AIC in Vancouver. He said he he was born in 1980 and he can’t believe he’d see the day when axl and slash were on stage again together.

[growling]

anyway. seaso- hold on bsd just called. apparently i gotta watch dead apple before s3......... sigh....................

anyway dead apple:

hello oda????

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"give me back my friends" Chuuya has friends???? since when????? sorry .

fuck him up Chuuya!!!

I cheer and clap every time I see Chuuya in the intr- CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 SHE'S GOT AN ENTIRE SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"was it someone you were in love with?" no he's too cishet for this. oda was not his past gay lover he was his dear platonic boybestie whom he kissed on the lips goodnight every time they slept together (with socks on) that is different

yesyesyesYES dazai kill yourself now spare me the suffering

rampo stop crunching or i will be forced to choke you out

rampo living that best life......

get the incest siblings out my screen

its the apple . roll credits

once again it's all dazai's fault

when in doubt im gonna just blame dazai on everything from now on

banger theme. also kyouka hiiiii

anyway took a break. im back

kyouka knows how to drive? isn't she like fourteen nvm good for her

hello ango

"im sure dazai-san would help us" dazai would sell you to satan for one corn chip

fyodor..... that's the guy i kept getting as results in the "which bungou stray dog r u" uquizes. what's up fyodor......... how are you........ i know literally almost nothing about u

demon snow :3 <-banger theme

AKUTAGAWA?????? HELLO THANKS

BANGER THEME

i support akutagawa in his dazai-killing endeavors go shred him babygirl

dazai meowing is the most disturbing thing ive heard this year i feel sick

banger theme

everybody cheer and clap for akutagawa!!!!!!! woohooooo my boy did i- uh oh

inflation fetish joke

EVERYBODY CHEER AND CLAP FOR AKUTAGAWA!!!!!!! WOOHOO MY BOY DID IT FOR REAL THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And good for the other guys I guess :33

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH YOU'VE GOT THE NERVE HUH!!!!!!!

atsushi's going thru it rn- CHUUYA AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAZAI GOT STABBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS DAZOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn

i like.......... fyodor............. also *waves at him* another slav :3

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still don't really know what you're doing now but HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

his gloves....................... 30% of your sex appeal gone with the wind now. its okay i am deeply in gay love with you despite

she's so cool you guys. omg. guys....

THE JACKET!!!!! THAT'S 40% NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! unless it's a stripping game or smth in which case I do not object..

SHE'S SO COOOOL YOU GUYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333 <33 <3

hey but don't kill yourself..... hey babe haha nooo don't kill yourself you're so sexy haha BABE-

b...b....banger.....themee......

ok dazai you better revive just so you can get your chuuya. he is going a bit crazy over there he went full creature mode

the majesty........ the grace............

YES DAZAI'S HERE (never thought id say this. sigh)

gay (chuuya's mine though. dazai fuck off this instant she doesn't deserve you)

Chuuya's so cuteee when he's helpless and completely immobilized like that.......

oh hi fyodor

oh hi atsushi i forgot about you for a mome- THE FACE ANGL AGAIN STOPPPPP

hello akutagawa :)

what's up Mori-ohhh??? the daughter's your ability??

I had a feeling they were gonna kill each other's abilities :>>

daughter elise-chan time :333

womp womp

tiger time

why are they always referring to fyodor as "the/that russian" that feels kinda that's kinda that's kinda....

maybe demon snow, too, is babygirl.

cheering clapping go atsushi go

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK OFF DAZAI

though im curious. whenever they aren't calling him The Russian, they call him "demon fyodor"........ more than once or twice........... is he like. is he

CHUUYA AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aaand the end <33333

[mangoisms]

dc anon here :D i’ll just start by saying holy shit i think we have the same brain because i also thought tee would like dick and steph (absolutely loved that u mentioned jason cuz he’s my silly billy <3). and yeah u get it !!! the entire concept of robin being batman’s light is what she would love about their dynamic. tee is one of those steph stans that jumps at the very mention of batman and robin just to go on a rant aboutt how steph is usually overlooked (and she’s right !!!! #justiceforstephaniebrown)

and FUCK because i also thought miyuki would LOVE constantine. i’ve been thinking abt this since i found out tee likes dc and it’s like u said the mf would enjoy his character sm (petition for tee to get him into the constantine comics). now if we’re talking robins, i honestly don’t know why and i might be biased here because he’s my blorbo but i feel like he’d like damian. don’t ask why. i just feel like he’d enjoy everything about him learning how to live and be a child while accepting the love that his family has for him (damian’s dynamic with dick makes me CRY)

thank u for letting me rant i am so sorry abt this being kinda long but my brain went overdrive when i found out tee is a dc stan. thank u so much for writing this story it’s honestly one of my all time fave fics. i love u and ur work sosososo much ur an icon to all daiya and dc lovers out there <33

YEAHHHHHHHH EXACTLY that is SO real!!!!!! our minds 🤝🤝🤝

ok this also got really long so i’m putting it under the cut just for efficiency’s sake (this is not bad i had so much fun anon THANK YOU)

anyway this is literally us rn

so real.

but yes!!! yes!!! i agree!!!!! tee would be THEE biggest steph defender ever!!!! Tbh i’m thinking about her pets now and i’ve kept the robin specifically vague in terms of batman the snail and robin the betta fish but given actual thought, she would lean toward seeing steph as the particular robin there. so like. robin steph as the betta. batman as the snail. and it just fits their dynamic i think.

(also on the topic of unrecognized robins she would also be a robin!duke defender. i was looking back at dgfh now and she does specifically say that batman has had six robins, so dick, jason, tim, damian, AND steph and duke, though i’m likely missing others in that case but those are the ones i know the most about so yeah. Yeah. you get it anon you just Get It)

(also i toiled endlessly over my decision to have batman be the snail and robin be the betta so with all that said, can i ask, what, if any, thoughts you had on that because tee mentions struggling and that was really me tbh but what do you think?? off the mark?? should it have been switched so batman is the betta and robin is the snail? or it’s totally cool either way??)

(also sorry i am bombarding you but i’m so pleased to have a daiya/dc fan to talk with, genuinely KSJFNEJJDJE and that decision was surprisingly hard!)

OK back on track

I KNOW truthfully i hadn’t given it thought but the more that i think about it, the more i’m like oh yeah he would be a john constantine enjoyer. if only bc constantine is like. an asshole. OSNFNJEJFBEJD.

oh that is. INTERESTING. damian being miyuki’s favorite robin i mean. wow… no anon i get it you have me Thinking Thoughts.

i was thinking about it in the first ask and it did stump me because i think robin dick and robin jason wouldn’t fit him. nor would tim because i do think he’d find him. A Little bit annoying. (but i also think tim and miyuki are a Little similar. at least in terms of like being logic-oriented.) i thought robin steph would be the most likely choice since she is the most. hm. belligerent of them? that’s not the right word but. you get me. like it’s. Steph. OSJDJJDND.

but damian… i hadn’t thought of it at all but genuinely i think you’re right. he has that edge to him that would be appealing but also. The Journey. like you said. of being able to relax and grow in a mostly good environment. yeah… YEAH… ok that really does it for me because i do particularly like the thought of having like teen miyuki be like. I am not here to make friends. There is only baseball ever. But then like kuramochi and eijun stick with him even after graduation and are like You are so annoying. We love you and we are not going to abandon you. And adult miyuki Understands. Suddenly. That there is baseball but also… Friends. And baseball is not forever…. Yes. Yes!!!!!!!! excellent excellent thought anon that is so good thank you for putting that in my brain

i should thank you!!!!!! this got. Very Long. but it’s just so fun ^_^ and i don’t mind at all talking about it!!!!! especially when you have so many good ideas like really this was enlightening!!!!! truly!!!!! ^_^

thank YOU for reading and i’m so happy to hear you’re enjoying everything!!! like i said a lot of my stuff is self indulgent so i’m happy if anyone else also finds it well-suited to them and enjoys it even more bc of that. anon i love u and these lovely asks for scratching that particular dc/daiya itch!!! <333 thank you again hehe 🫶🫶🫶

[fr3aklike-me]

oh im so glad you're feeling better!! and omg yes corpse bride is very nice, the dark humor was just on point, istg it made me laugh every time. and omg we're literally the same, bc i hate when everything is quiet so i always put friends on. so true of us tbh. oh ok maybe i should watch bridgeton then, bc that actress from sex education is in season two (i don't remember her name im sorry :/) and idk i wanted to watch her again lmao, and if you liked it so much maybe i should give it a try. omg what are you reading?? and omg you draw???? that's so cool!!! and omg yes!! winter has started where i live but for some reason it's been very warm???? so confusing but im not complain. and yeah it's going ok, it's stressing me out tbh but oh well lmao. and yes i wanna go into fashion, it's sweet you remembered :( oh and don't call me cutie or else im gonna start blushing over here <33

-🫀

thank you so much! and omg, I fucking love when animated films have dark humour, or just even dry humour - that shit is so funny LMAO. like, Shrek or How to Train Your Dragon. I love those films. omg yesss, right, I usually don't like it being too quiet bc I get almost bored from it? and yes, Simone Ashley! I only remembered she was in Sex Education after seeing her in Bridgerton and remembering a clip from the former, haha. do you like Sex Education? I haven't watched it, but I love how it seems to be a teen drama that is actually grounded and fairly realistic. recently, I just completed My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness. I really want to get back into reading for pleasure, but I'm so unaccustomed to it that I barely even know how to time manage for it LOL do you read? and for drawing, I used to do it, but I barely know how to now, but I want to get back into it, as well as practice w pastels. omg, I love that it's still fairly warm where you are! hoping for a tame winter for you <3 and do you draw? what aspects of fashion are you into? and I'm sorry to hear you're stressed :( anything I can do? I'm always here if you want to talk. and awe, cutie, you know that's only going to make me do it more, hehe

[anaisanais-stuff]

The epilogue to SKAM Season 3, where Isak meets Even’s parents for the first time.

English translation below.

Tw: mention of suicide

Saturday 17 December 17:33

Interior: Stairwell

ISAK and EVEN are in the stairwell outside EVEN’S apartment.

EVEN smiles: Are you ready?

ISAK smiles: I’m ready

EVEN kisses him.

EVEN: Just a little heads up, my mom is quite intense.

ISAK: Ok?

EVEN: If it’s too much, and you want to leave, just grab my hand and squeeze it, ok?

ISAK nods: Ok

EVEN: Like this

EVEN takes ISAK’s hand and squeezes it carefully but surely.

ISAK smiles: Like this?

ISAK takes EVEN’s hand and squeezes it super hard.

—Jump

Interior apartment

EVEN opens the door to the apartment (same shot as s3 e2)

EVEN: Hello?

EVEN’S MOM looks out from the kitchen, she’s a short woman with blonde curls and prominent wrinkles from smiling.

MOM, happy: Hey!

DAD, a tall man who looks like EVEN just with no hair, looks out from the living room.

DAD: Hey there, welcome

IMPRO greeting and enthusiasm, both mom (Sigrid) and dad (Jan) go right to hugging ISAK. EVEN apologizes, says they’re a “hugging family”, that he should’ve warned ISAK. ISAK says it’s nice. They pull apart, MOM asks if they’re hungry. EVEN says they’re not staying for dinner.

SIGRID: Come on in, sit down.

— Living room

EVEN and ISAK sit down on the couch. MOM sits down in a chair and studies ISAK with admiration, it looks like she’s about to burst with happiness. EVEN is embarrassed.

JAN: Do you want something to drink, Isak? A beer?

ISAK, slightly confused: Uh ok, sure, thanks

ISAK looks at EVEN, EVEN smiles

SIGRID: Are you sure you’re not staying for dinner? Dad made a very delicious fish soup?

EVEN: No thanks, we’re not staying for long

SIGRID: No no, but eating a bit of fish soup won’t take long. Where are you going?

EVEN: Nowhere

DAD comes in with beers

SIGRID: So, you don’t have any place to be?

EVEN: No I’m just making sure Isak is introduced to you guys in small quantities, so you don’t scare him off.

SIGRID laughs: I see

JAN: Sounds reasonable

JAN opens beers and hands them out.

JAN: Cheers then! So good to meet you Isak

ISAK: Yes, thanks. Same.

Everybody toast and take a sip. There’s a moment of silence. Mom is busy making sure there are good vibes

SIGRID: Even has told us so many nice things about you.

ISAK, a little surprised: Oh

EVEN: Now you’re exaggerating, I haven’t told you guys that much

SIGRID: No no, just bits and pieces. You attend Nissen too?

ISAK: Yes!

SIGRID: Since first year or?

ISAK: Yes, but I’m only in second year now, so

SIGRID remembers: Right, you’re 17!

ISAK: Yes

She eyes ISAK’S beer with a stressed glance and then looks over at JAN. ISAK registers the look and feels a little stressed too, he probably shouldn’t have agreed to a beer, he thought they knew he was 17, he didn’t mean to trick them. EVEN puts his hand on top of ISAK’S. ISAK looks up at EVEN. EVEN smiles calmly.

JAN: Did Even tell you I attended Nissen too?

ISAK: No he didn’t

JAN: I sure did, Russ of ‘89

ISAK nods: Cool

Silence falls again. ISAK looks around. MOM wants good vibes.

SIGRID laughs: Our Russ time probably isn’t all that exciting to hear about

ISAK spots a picture on the wall

ISAK: Is that Even?

SIGRID looks up and smiles happily: Yes, wasn’t he cute?

ISAK smiles: Very cute

SIGRID suddenly gets an idea: Do you know what I found the other day?

She stands up

JAN: Yeah, it was cool seeing that again

EVEN, kinda unenthusiastic: What did you find?

SIGRID: Your old photo album, that’ll be fun for Isak to look at?

EVEN: No mom, not fun. See this is what I’m talking about, can you please just chill? You’re scaring him off

EVEN puts his hand on ISAK’S

SIGRID goes through stuff on a bookshelf: Chill Even, nobody’s scared off by baby pictures. Are you scared off by baby pictures, Isak?

ISAK looks at EVEN and smirks before shaking his head.

ISAK: Nah, I’m not scared off by baby pics, I’d actually love to see them.

SIGRID has found an album: See? Isak’s not scared off by baby pictures.

EVEN sighs, MOM plops down next to ISAK and opens a little green album. She turns the pages and shows: Even has painted his face with crayons, Even as Lucia bride with a candle on top of his head. Even has caught a crab. Even has fallen asleep on the toilet. ISAK is charmed, laughs and looks up at EVEN, EVEN rolls his eyes. MOM turns another page: A young girl’s embracing EVEN on a toboggan in the snow. She looks like Even’s mom, only much younger. ISAK looks up at SIGRID.

ISAK, confused: Is that you?

SIGRID: It’s my little sister, June.

ISAK: Ah. You are so alike.

EVEN: We’re very alike

ISAK laughs

ISAK: I meant your mom, though

ISAK looks at EVEN for a response, but EVEN’S not laughing, ISAK is confused, SIGRID tries to smooth things over.

SIGRID explains: Even had a very close relationship with his aunt, when he was a kid. They were best friends.

EVEN corrects: Soulmates

ISAK nods and studies the photo again. June is wearing a nice white puffer jacket. Even’s little face pops up between her arms. He’s wearing a blue beanie pulled down over his eyes, it almost looks like he’s drowning in her. They’re both looking happily at the camera.

ISAK: How old is she?

SIGRID: In that photo she’s 21 I think, isn’t it from a few days before she left us?

EVEN, annoyed: No, that photo is from my 7th birthday.

SIGRID: That’s right, sorry. So a few months before, she died in April

EVEN, annoyed that his mom’s still not being precise: 2 April

SIGRID: Yes.

ISAK: My condolences

EVEN: No need for condolences, it was what was best for her

SIGRID: Thank you, Isak

SIGRID gives EVEN a strict look. EVEN takes it in.

EVEN: What? it was better for her…

SIGRID annoyed: Well, no one knows,do they, because she’s not around to answer that. SIGRID closes the album and gets up.

SIGRID, uneasy: Does anyone want a gingerbread cookie?

JAN, in solution mode: I’d like a gingerbread cookie!

EVEN, annoyed: We’re leaving

SIGRID doesn’t reply, she disappears into the kitchen, EVEN follows her with his eyes. ISAK looks at EVEN. He puts his hand on EVEN’S. EVEN turns and looks at him, ISAK smiles calmly.

ISAK: Let’s have a gingerbread cookie?

EVEN calms down. He nods.

[satoruvt]

for now; forever

pairing → kwon soonyoung x reader

word count → 9015

genre → mostly fluff, angst ↳ tags: ooh boy. firewatch au, banter, like a little bit (a lot) of pining, strangers to friends to… something, FLIRTING, reader’s kinda fucked up but its ok, hoshi’s weird and endearing (as always), a tiny bit of hurt/comfort, minghao best boy, soonyoung is very sweet it makes me want to cry

synopsis → after an unfortunate burnout that lands you in every critic’s negative and all-seeing eye, you decide to take a break from the one thing you know. you’re not sure if you’ll find what you’re looking for out in the middle of the woods - if you’re looking for anything at all - but at the very least, soonyoung will make the hunt a little less lonely.

warnings → there’s eventually a forest fire (starts on day 64 and is mentioned throughout the rest of the fic) that leads to an evacuation but it’s not super detailed, mentions and descriptions of creative burnout/breakdown

a/n → IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! i made a fancy banner nd everything <3 i know 9k isn’t a lot to some people but this is probably the longest one shot i’ve ever written LMAOO so i hope it’s paced ok and everything <33 PLEASE let me know what yall thought about this i am insanely proud of it. ok thats it hehe. hope you enjoy!!! see u on the other side!!!!

btw here’s a fun playlist of songs i listened to while writing mixed with some songs i think reflect the fic super well <33

DAY ONE.

So. You’re… out here, now.

Save for the bugs you have to swat at every fifteen seconds, the outdoors doesn’t seem that bad. The weather isn’t too hot (yet, your mind reminds you) and there’s something about the color of the sky that makes your heart constrict in your chest. You can’t tell if it’s good or bad, but given your luck recently, you’re hoping it’s not a warning for the coming months - God knows you need a break. The weight of the journal in your bag feels heavier than any of the camping gear you brought with you.

You debate texting Minghao that you’ve made it to the park safely, but when you check your phone after deciding yes, you see the words no service instead of the familiar lines of a signal. It’s not that big of a deal - you’d told him when you left that you probably wouldn’t have service at all - but a little part of you feels the tender shake of anxiety at the thought of not being able to contact your best friend. 

He was the most worried out of everyone when you told him you were leaving for the summer. You can’t really blame him - it was abrupt, you saw the flyer at the grocery store and took it - but after what happened… doing something felt, feels, better than sitting around and waiting for nothing to happen. Waiting for a healing you aren’t sure will ever come, at least not completely.

“Is this really…” Minghao had started upon first entering your apartment after getting your text. Clothes were thrown all over your bedroom floor in an attempt to pack. “Do you need to do this?”

The tone of his voice told you he wasn’t going to try to stop you, that he just wanted to make sure this was what you needed. You had only nodded, sitting down on the edge of your bed to fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase.

“I just don’t want you to run away from it all,” Minghao said softly, sitting next to you. “You’ll need to face it eventually.”

“Is escaping really such a bad thing?” You asked, looking at Minghao. He gave you the look he did when you said something stupid, and if you weren’t still so wired from everything, you might have laughed. Instead, you sighed, placing a pair of pants into your suitcase. “I just need some time.”

Before you can face it, before you can come back, before you can write again… you still don’t know. Minghao had placed a kind hand on your shoulder to tell you there was no rush.

It’d taken no more than two days for you to get everything ready - including buying some apparently necessary survival equipment from Target. In a matter of a few hours you had gathered everything up, texted some other friends and your family that you might not be available the next few months and then… you left. 

(Your manager was pretty pissed off that you left so suddenly, but she was also pissed off at you when you told her you needed a break for at least a few weeks, so you’re not really offended.)

You take one last longing look at your car before locking it, pocketing the keys, and starting on your hike.

The hike takes almost the whole day. 

You think you almost cry when you finally see the watch tower you’re supposed to be staying in, your legs barely able to hold the rest of your body up. The hike wasn’t hard, really - long, though, and for someone who usually spends a work day sitting at a desk, you’re surprised you’re still alive. You find the little lock that holds the keys to the tower at the bottom of the stairs, fastened onto the railing. It takes a few seconds for you to enter the code you’d been given earlier, relishing in the soft breeze the cools the sweat on your face and neck. The sun is just barely starting to set beyond the mountains, a beautiful sight that you can’t properly focus on because all you want to do is pass out. You’re pretty sure you almost do on your way up the stairs.

The cabin at the top of the tower is pretty scarcely furnished, save for a few basic necessities (a gas stove rests on one wall, a small desk opposite to it by the door, a mini-fridge, and a bed in the corner plus what looks like a map table in the center of the room). It’s a little weird, a feeling caught between the nostalgia of moving into a new place and something you can’t quite name, but you figure you have a few months to make it all a little more comfortable.

For now, though, you feel like you’re on the last leg of your energy. Your mind is saying eat, sleep, eat, sleep on repeat and you have to agree with it, so you change the sheets on the bed, take down the boards over the windows while you wait for the macaroni from the Kraft box to cook. You end up eating a few forkfuls of poorly-made mac and cheese before crashing.

When you wake up, it’s to gentle static and a semi-clear, unfamiliar voice. It takes you a minute to remember where you are and what you’re doing, too disoriented to even think about the voice, but then - oh. Forest. Watch tower. Escape. Okay.

“Yo, Cottonwood! Am I coming through okay? Pick up your radio!”

Right. The voice. Radio?

“Come on, I saw you get in yesterday, I know you’re there. Unless,” a gasp, “you died! Oh my God, this is like a horror movie… and I’m next!”

You manage to wake up enough to locate your radio (a walkie-talkie resting on a charger on the desk) and, after a few seconds of gentle struggle, work it. “Not dead,” you say, then clear your throat because your voice does not sound good right after waking up. “I mean… almost. But not dead.”

There’s barely a moment of hesitation before the person on the other end hoots, apparently excited. “Arisen from the dead! Brought back to life by none other than the legendary Hoshi!”

A brief thought crosses your mind about having to listen to this guy all summer, but you quickly shoo it away. You won’t have to deal with it for the whole three months, right? “Who… who is Hoshi?”

“Me!” The voice answers, sounding a little too smug. “But it’s really just an alias. You can call me Soonyoung. I’m at Twin Peaks tower, west of yours!”

You spin around your cabin, looking through the windows cluelessly - how long have you been asleep, it’s practically afternoon - until you see a very small silhouette of another tower in the distance. You nod, then realize Soonyoung can’t see you. “Oh. Cool.”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me your name?” Soonyoung asks, but his tone is light, breezy. You blink, reciting your name to him in a daze. “Pretty! So, what brings you out here?”

You weren’t expecting that question. “What?”

Soonyoung giggles into the radio. “Everyone comes out here for some reason. Like… Jihoon says it’s ‘cause it helps him write music. And Joshua loves the outdoors, so… what’s your reason?”

“You…” you start, not exactly wanting to tell a stranger the reason you ran away from everything you know. “Do you normally ask this many questions?”

“Yeah!”

You feel yourself sigh, already tired again.

“I… just wanted to get away for a while,” you end up saying. A half-truth. “I live in the city.”

“No way,” Soonyoung gasps excitedly. “Me too! I wonder if both of us have ever been walking and, like, passed each other without knowing…”

This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you thought of escaping.

DAY TWO.

The next morning, you dedicate time to getting a little more settled into your home for the next few months. You didn’t bring a lot of decor - you didn’t think you needed any - but even seeing your blanket on the bed and a few books you need to catch up on reading stacked on the desk makes the place feel a little bit more like you. You eventually reach the journal you packed (that Minghao made you pack) and stare at it like it might do something. Like it might tell you to write again, or like it might tell you to leave everything behind. You don’t really know what you want from it.

A sing-songed version of your name comes from your radio and you blink away from the journal, set it down on the desk. “Good morning!” Soonyoung says from the other end, and you feel yourself take a deep breath as you pick up your radio and press down the button so he can hear you.

“Morning, Soonyoung,” you respond, calm compared to his excitement. 

“So… what are your plans for today?”

“Um,” you pause, brows furrowed, looking towards the direction of his tower even though you know he can’t see you. “Looking out for fires?”

“That’s boring,” is Soonyoung’s immediate response, and you laugh a little.

“Kinda my job for a while.”

And listen, you’ve known Soonyoung for less than a full 24 hours, but even before your brain really comprehends what he’s saying you know you’re not going to like it. “Wait, that reminds me,” he says, tone of his voice a little less overexcited puppy. “What did you do before this? Or, like, what’s your career? I mean, you don’t have to answer, I just thought it could be a way for us to get to know each other…”

His voice fades away for the split second you remember a little too much all at once, but somehow your voice still sounds put together when you speak. “Nothing special,” you say. There’s a pause when you don’t elaborate any further, but instead of asking about it, Soonyoung changes the subject.

“Okay!” he says, back to a more playful tone. “Anyways, I asked about your plans ‘cause I kind of need you to do something for me.”

“Already asking favors?” you tease. “We just met, Soonyoung.”

You hear him laugh, loud and hearty, and it’s contagious even through a radio line so you feel your own smile pull at your lips. “One of the other lookouts found some teenagers with fireworks,” he informs you. “I need you to meet him and get the fireworks from him.”

Your feet are already in your shoes, one halfway tied. “You can’t do this?”

Soonyoung’s voice is strangely thoughtful, but you catch a hint of mischief at the end of his sentence. “I would, but Jihoonie said he’d eat me if I tried to see him again and I think he’s serious this time.”

He tells you where the other lookout - Jihoon - should be and gives you a quick lesson on how to properly use your map to get there. You’re not really excited for another hike this early on (you’re still sore from even getting up here) but by the time you meet the halfway mark you’re convinced it’s not that bad. It’s neither long nor challenging, and… well, Soonyoung’s insistent on keeping you company the whole time. 

When you see what looks like a guy at the edge of a now-abandoned camp, you tell Soonyoung you’ll radio him when you’re on your way back to your tower. “Hey,” you call out as you get closer. The man looks up at you, his eyes sharp but not unkind. “Jihoon?”

“Yeah,” he replies. Under his cap you notice that his hair is a gentle silver, almost purple. He’s dressed casually, like you, and you suppose it’s a given since there’s no exact dress code for this job.  “You’re the newbie?”

You didn’t know people knew about you. “I.. I guess,” you say, then tell him your name.

“Cool,” Jihoon says, voice flat like he’s distracted. He picks up the bag next to his feet and hands it to you. “Take these. Thanks.”

He starts to walk away, down a trail opposite the direction you came, but you think of earlier, when Soonyoung asked about your job (or when he didn’t). You call after Jihoon, hesitate, but then opt to make this quick since he looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Have you and Soonyoung… known each other for long?”

Jihoon turns around. He shrugs, then nods. “We met in college, a few years ago.”

“What kind of person is he?”

You watch in vague amusement as Jihoon’s nose scrunches up, but the small smile on his face refuses to hide and it makes you giggle. “Really annyoing,” he tells you, then pauses for a second like he’s looking for the right words, “kind of overwhelming sometimes. But he’s good. He’s someone you want around.”

Someone you want around, your brain repeats to you. You nod with a friendly smile as you haphazardly stuff the fireworks in your hiking bag. “Okay. Thank you.”

Jihoon offers an acknowledging nod of his own before continuing on his way back to his tower. You’re about five minutes into your hike back to yours when your radio sounds from your pocket with a now-familiar voice.

“Are you on your way back?” Soonyoung asks. “You forgot to tell me!”

“Sorry, yeah, I am now. I was talkin’ to Jihoon for a second.”

“Really? That’s weird. He rarely talks to anyone, especially strangers. What’d you talk about?”

You can’t help the small smile that lands on your face as you speak. “Stuff to blackmail you with.”

You think you hear Soonyoung’s groan all the way from his tower, and your smile only grows when it turns into a laugh.

DAY FIVE.

The clouds look dark today.

They haven’t covered the sun completely yet, but they’re closing in fast. You hope that it rains, already sick and tired of the disgusting heat, but also. Something else.

Rainy days always used to be the best to write, your brain supplies to you. You brave a glance at the still-unopened journal on the desk, thinking that maybe…

Your radio turning on drags you away from the crack in metaphorical door, coming at the perfect time as if to tell you that you’re not ready yet. You listen to it, grab the radio, murmur a greeting to Soonyoung.

“It’s getting pretty dark out, huh?” He says. He must be looking at the sky, too.

“Yeah,” you hum. “Hopefully the storm isn’t too bad.”

The line goes quiet, but you know that Soonyoung’s still there even if he isn’t saying anything. The knowledge comforts you, just a little.

“Well... got any rainy day stories?”

DAY SEVENTEEN.

“So, Soonyoung,” you call into your radio as you step outside. You’ve taken advantage of the small balcony around the entire cabin, setting up a few chairs you found in the storage unit at the bottom of the tower (just in case someone stops by, you tell yourself) and a small table you weren’t using inside. The nights are hot but still relaxing, and you find yourself sitting outside often, catching up on reading or taking in the stars. 

“I can’t believe you radioed me first,” Soonyoung responds, and you hear the smugness in his voice. “I’m so happy!”

Soonyoung somehow almost always manages to be with you in the nights, too, even if not physically. Being away from the urban civilization you’re used to has been a little difficult to adjust to, but you feel significantly less alone whenever you hear him calling you. You tell him to be quiet even though both of you are laughing. The distant crickets make your chest warm.

“What do you do? You didn’t tell me before,” You ask him after a second. There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes over you at the idea that he might call you out about when he asked you the same thing. That was two weeks ago, though, you think, and Soonyoung wouldn’t. You’re sure he’s been able to tell that it’s a touchy subject. You’re not as discreet as you think you are, even if (and you’ve learned this the past few weeks) Soonyoung’s a bit more on the oblivious side sometimes.

“I dance!” 

Somehow, despite having not even seen what he looks like, it’s fitting. “Like… teach, or choreograph, or…”

“A little of everything,” Soonyoung tells you, and then starts elaborating. His voice echoes through your radio and you look up at the stars as you listen to him, trying to map out constellations from memory. He sounds so excited to simply talk about it, you can’t imagine what he must look like when he’s actually on stage. You hope you get to see it one day.

“You’ll have to teach me something sometime,” you say once he’s finished, voicing your thoughts. With a giggle that sounds like the stars above you, he tells you he’d love to.

A moment of quiet passes, spent focusing on the tiny specks of fireflies you see in the field around your tower and feeling the summer breeze as it passes. The words slip out of your mouth with much less resistance than you thought they would.

“I used to write,” you murmur into your radio. It takes you a moment to register the heavy beat of your heart, like you just got back from a run.

“Used to?” Soonyoung asks, curious but soft.

“For now,” you answer. The ache you’ve become familiar with throbs in your chest. “Hopefully not forever.”

It’s not the whole story - not even close - but you figure you might be able to tell him with time. The thought stresses you out even when you have nothing to stress about, and you think Soonyoung is psychic because he says, next, “the stars are really pretty tonight.”

You’re not looking at the sky when you answer. Your head is tilted in the direction of his tower. 

“They really are,” you say.

DAY THIRTY-THREE.

You’ve fallen into a bit of a routine with Soonyoung. 

Not a day goes by where you don’t talk to him - the one day you radioed and he didn’t pick up you genuinely thought something happened to him, seconds away from calling a park ranger. Right before you actually did it, though, he picked up his radio and said he had been taking a nap.

(His voice was a little groggy from sleep, sounded like he was pouting whether he meant to or not and you’d be lying if you said the thought didn’t make your heart skip a few beats - but if anyone asked, you’d definitely lie about it.)

One of you calls the other around the same time every morning and you don’t put down your radio until the sun is well behind the mountains. You’ve grown used to his presence, in a way, even if you can’t really feel him with you (though sometimes you swear you can). It’s comforting to have him out there with you, and it’s been so long since you’ve talked to someone the way you do with Soonyoung… you find yourself looking forward to every morning, waiting for when you hear him over your radio.

Today is no different.

Well, in an unrelated way, it is - you have to hike to a supply box to get your surplus of food for the next month and a half you have left. But even as you’re doing inventory of what you have left in your cabin on a piece of paper, you’re waiting for Soonyoung’s usual good morning. It comes as always, makes you smile when you hear it.

“Good morning!” 

You leave your scratch paper on your desk and reach for your radio. “Morning,” you say after you’ve pressed the button down. 

“So…” Soonyoung trails off. “Supply drop day.”

“Yeah,” you reply, sitting on your bed.

“Both of us are getting crates of food today…”

What is he getting at? “Uh-huh…?”

“Both of us… getting supplies… from the same place.”

A confused laugh leaves your lips. “Soonyoung, what is your point?”

Even for as often as you talk to him, you’re still always surprised when he starts yelling. “Let’s meet up!” he exclaims, obviously excited, and it clicks in your head.

“Oh my God, can we do that?” 

“Yeah!” Soonyoung sounds like he’s grinning, smile palpable in his voice. “If we pull some strings with the other lookouts and get hiking at the right time, it’s totally possible.”

Holy shit. Your heart is beating wildly, butterflies swarming around it at the thought of meeting Soonyoung in person. “Okay,” you tell him, noting that you sound a little breathless. “Okay, yeah, let’s do it.”

It takes a few minutes to work everything out - the supply boxes should be dropped off by midday, so you can leave your tower around then and get to the drop location in a little over an hour. Soonyoung has to leave earlier than you since he’s farther away, but if everything goes well the two of you should get to the drop location close to the same time, margin of error small. You radio Jihoon to cover for you while you’re out, and he agrees, although he sounds a bit miffed.

When you finally leave for your hike, you’re not expecting how quiet it is. Soonyoung’s usually there to cover it up with his voice - you don’t hike often (you’ve not had to, given your job for the summer is to watch for fires) but whenever you have he’s been there to keep you company. You plug in your earphones about halfway through your trip just to drown out the quiet, something more to listen to than just trees and the sound of your own footsteps.

Eventually you make it to the supply box, and, well. There’s a guy. Standing in front of a long, green box - you think you see lookout tower names engraved ever few inches: Thorofare, Cottonwood, Twin Peaks. Packing some ready-to-eat meals into his backpack.

Holy shit, Soonyoung? your brain automatically asks, and it sends your heart spiraling up and down. You’re not sure what you thought he looked like, but it wasn’t this. Tall, lean - wait, you don’t even know if this is actually him yet.

Before you can think too much about it, you call out, voice tentative. “Are you… Soonyoung?”

The man turns around, shakes his head with a kind smile. “No,” he says. “I’m Joshua.”

You think about throwing yourself into the river by your tower when you get back for absolutely no reason. Somehow you manage a polite smile and a gentle sorry.

“No, don’t apologize, you’re fine!” Joshua chirps, adjusting the cap on his head. “You’re looking for him?”

You pause. Those aren’t the exact words you would use, but they’re not technically wrong, so you nod. After all, you don’t know what he looks like (you probably should have asked him before both of you left, but you weren’t expecting another person to be here).

“Please don’t tell me he got lost again,” Joshua says, suddenly looking tired, and you look back at him wide-eyed because... again? Has this happened before?

“No,” you tell him. “No, I mean, I don’t think so. I don’t know. Since we both have to pick up supplies he thought it’d be cool if we met up in person.”

Joshua sighs, seemingly relieved, then continues packing what’s left of his supplies into his backpack as he hums. “That’s weird.”

“What is?”

He shrugs. “Soonyoung likes the outdoors, yeah, but the supply box is a pretty far hike from his tower. I think the last few summers he’s had them delivered.”

Oh, you think, and maybe say out loud, because then Joshua’s looking back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. 

“He must really like you to come all the way out here,” he tells you, and you laugh like it might get rid of all the thoughts popping up in your mind that you keep telling yourself to stop thinking about.

“And yet,” you say wistfully, looking towards the horizon. “I still come second to Jihoon.”

This time Joshua laughs, a friendly sound, and the two of you fall into a playful conversation. He’s somewhat a superior of yours, though not by a far gap - as the lookout who’s been on the job the longest, he oversees the rest of you (which is you, Soonyoung, Jihoon, and a few others you have yet to come across). You get along with him easily and it’s weird to think that if you hadn’t gone through what you did a few months ago you wouldn’t be here talking to him, establishing what could be a new friendship. You wonder if that’s a new step towards healing, finding a way to be grateful even if it was horrible.

You talk to Joshua for a while until he says he should get back to his tower. You nod, tell him goodbye (and thanks for his company) and he starts to walk away -

“Shua!”

A burst of platinum blonde hair rushes past you from the opposite direction you came from, heading for Joshua. The new guy drops a bag at his feet and almost softly crashes into Joshua, who has this look on his face you can’t really decipher.

“Hey, Soonyoung,” he says, and you blink.

Soonyoung, like… your Soonyoung? The Soonyoung you’ve been talking to for weeks?

You watch as the two hug, Soonyoung excited to see Joshua and completely ignoring you (though you’re not sure he’s doing it intentionally). All you can do is stand there. This is him, your brain keeps telling you. This is the guy.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. “How are you? How have things been?”

Joshua shrugs, a small smile on his face as he puts a gentle hand on Soonyoung’s head and starts… petting. “I’ve been good, same old deal. I know that you’ve been doing good too, though, as far as I’ve seen from your reports.”

Soonyoung beams at the praise and you take note of it in the back of your mind (you also note the way Joshua’s treating him like a toddler and how it’s working). He opens his mouth to say something else but looks around and meets your eyes - for a second there’s nothing at all, but then you think you see an exclamation mark actually pop above his head.

The yell of your name is so loud it makes you jump. “Oh my God,” Soonyoung whines, falling to his knees dramatically. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you!”

“This is the first time you’ve seen me,” you say. You can’t seem to hold back your smile.

Joshua excuses himself (again) and finally moves on his way, says he’s in Thorofare lookout if anything happens. The sun is mellow on your skin as you look at Soonyoung, take him in - light hair, warm eyes, tan skin. His smile matches your own. A breeze shifts by, slow and sweet.

“Hi,” you say.

Soonyoung grins.

“Hey.”

-

So the bag you saw Soonyoung drop on the ground before was, in fact, for a picnic.

He didn’t bring a lot of food (the whole point of the hike was to get supply boxes anyways) aside from a few candy bars he’d saved for today. He did bring a blanket, however, and the two of you set everything up on the edge of a rock not too far away from the drop location, under some trees. It looks over a small ravine, a stream cutting through at the bottom. 

The time goes by like it was never there in the first place, spent talking and laughing. Soonyoung is just as animated in person as you thought he’d be, telling stories wildly as the two of you snack away a portion of your supplies. You know the two of you don’t have much time together, given how late it already was when Soonyoung arrived and both of your hikes back to your respective towers, but it’s still… refreshing, almost, to be with him like this, to finally get a piece of him you didn’t before. To hear him without the crackle of the radio and to see him.

To see him.

Something stirs in your chest when you look at him lying back on the blanket, arms supporting his head with his eyes closed. The sun lights up his skin in a golden glow, like honey, and the dark roots growing into his blonde hair are somehow endearing. The breath leaves your lungs when you finally label him as pretty. You hope you can blame the heat in your cheeks on the sun.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” Soonyoung sighs, still not opening his eyes. You almost reach out to brush the hair away from his face, but a breeze comes by and does it for you. You hope it’s not a sign.

“It would be nice, huh,” you murmur in response. You finally break your gaze from Soonyoung and lean back on your hands, soaking up the feeling of the blue sky.

It’s now that you remember what Joshua had said earlier about Soonyoung usually getting his supplies delivered, and you turn back to him. “Hey, before you got to the supply box, Joshua and I were talking.” Soonyoung hums in acknowledgement. “Is the hike from your tower to here really that bad?”

His voice strains as he stretches, opening his eyes to look at you. “I mean, yeah, it’s a bitch of a hike to take sometimes. But it’s not really hard except for a few spots, just long.”

You furrow your brows. When you agreed to meet him, you didn’t think it’d be this much trouble for him. “And you came all this way so we could… what, sit here and eat? Like we do most of the time anyways? Just separately?”

Soonyoung pouts at you and you feel personally attacked. “Food tastes good when you’re with other people.”

You give him a soft, semi-playful glare, and Soonyoung offers a small giggle. You turn back towards the view in front of you.

“Did you not want me to come down?” He asks, and he doesn’t sound… sad, really, more observant. Like he wants to know where you’re at.

“No,” you answer almost immediately (Jesus, your brain says). “I just… it’s a long trip. It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth the effort.”

Like I’m worth the effort, you think to yourself. 

You hear Soonyoung shuffle behind you and turn around to look at him again, finding him sitting up straight. “It is to me,” he tells you, and there’s something in his eyes that holds you in your spot. The tips of his fingers brush against yours on the blanket. You’d look down if you didn’t think you’d miss something. “I wanted to.”

In a second, it clicks.

-

It’s not much longer until Soonyoung needs to start heading back. The two of you get your things together, and you help him pack up the picnic supplies he brought. When everything’s said and done and the two of you are back by the supply box, there’s a second of uncharacteristic quiet that falls over you.

“Let me know when you get back,” you say after a moment. Soonyoung grins.

“You’re worried about me!” he swoons, and you hit him on the shoulder playfully, but don’t deny it. It can be dangerous out there, and even if Soonyoung has been out here longer than you, anything can happen. 

“Just radio me, okay?”

Soonyoung smiles, something a little softer from before. He nods. “I will. You be safe too.”

You nod in return, taking a few steps back towards the trail that leads back to your tower. “Talk to you later, Hoshi.”

The last you see of him before you turn around is the grin on his face.

DAY THIRTY-FOUR.

It feels like forever since you’ve been here.

A window is open and welcomes a distant ambiance of the forest around you, trees and birds and animals. The journal you brought with you is open to the first page, but remains untouched - nothing on the pages. At least, not yet.

(The not yet you always tell yourself seems closer, this time, not so far away. Within reach, or at least within reason.)

Soonyoung had called in that the hike from yesterday had worn him out and he needed a nap. You had laughed fondly at how tired he sounded, told him to sleep well and that you’d be waiting for him. And you feel the words, right at your fingertips, the way the rest and wait to be written. Their presence is both terrifying and reassuring. 

You don’t think they’ll be able to bleed out correctly, not the way they used to since it’s been so long. But they’re there, in your mind, in your heart. 

You pick up the pen you got out, feel the weight of it as you click it a few times. You tap it on the desk once, twice, and then.

You take a deep breath and start to write.

DAY SIXTY-FOUR.

“Are you lookin’ at the fire?”

Your eyes leave the page of your book at Soonyoung’s voice crackling from the radio, looking around your cabin windows to see that, oh, there is a fire. You’d kind of forgotten that it’s… literally your job. At least there are multiple lookouts.

You fold the corner of the page you’re on as a makeshift bookmark before closing the book and setting it down on your bed as you stand to get your radio. You grab a can of soda from the mini-fridge you’ve started to utilize (as best you can, given it does a mediocre job at keeping things cool) before walking out onto the deck, sitting in one of the chairs you set up. “Now I am,” you tell Soonyoung as you adjust the chair so it faces the direction of the fire. You think you’re the closest lookout to it - which makes the fact that you didn’t notice it even worse - but not in any danger. The smoke paints the evening sky red-orange, washing over the purples and blues the sun used earlier as it set. “You’ve called it in?”

“Yeah, told Josh, who told the higher-ups,” Soonyoung responds, voice strangely… solemn? He sighs his next words. “They’ll probably send a crew in for suppression by morning.”

“Is there a reason you sound sad about putting a potentially dangerous forest fire out?” You tease, cracking open your soda and taking a sip. The carbonation feels good in your mouth, pops on your tongue.

“I’m not!” Soonyoung denies after some sputtering, and you laugh. “Just… ugh, looking at it - I’ve worked here every summer for the past, like, five years, and I’ve only ever seen two fires. Three, counting this one.” His voice gains a certain softness, like he’s lost in thought. “I don’t want the place to burn down or anything, but… don’t you think it’s kind of beautiful?”

It’s a little morally ambiguous, but as you look at the distant, licking flames you have to agree. In the dark, it’s vibrant, more than just ashy smoke and the smell of burning - it glows red, flushes out silhouettes of the trees in between it and you.

“I guess it is,” you hum into your radio as you stare at it.

“So. What should we name it?”

“The fire?”

“Yes,” Soonyoung says, dramatic as always. “She needs a name! I’ve always given them names, but I’ll let you do the honor this time.”

There’s something sweet in the way he offers you the chance to name it, and you try not to dwell on it too much. “Ah,” you start, thinking for a moment. “Barbara. The Barbara Fire.”

Soonyoung howls out a laugh and it’s infectious; you feel the tugging of your lips into a grin. “That is the worst thing that has ever come out of your mouth,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “We are not naming it the Barbara Fire.”

You huff out a fake whine. “Come on, it’s just Barb! She’s beautiful.”

“But deadly,” Soonyoung adds in a voice that sounds like it came straight out of a crime documentary. It makes you giggle, the two of you throwing around silly, stupid names.

“Okay, okay,” you say after a few minutes. “Then… hmm, the Hoshi Fire.”

There’s a long, long pause, and you hold down the button to your radio again. “Uh oh, is he broken?”

Soonyoung’s voice comes through, joking, but you sense a pinch of sincerity. “You want to name a raging forest fire after me… I feel like I shouldn’t be happy but I kind of am.”

You remember to push the button as you laugh, looking directly at the fire and shouting, “I hereby dub thee… the Hoshi Fire!” as loud as you can.

After the laughter dies down, for a second, there’s quiet - not awkward or for the sake of a bit, just quiet. Soonyoung’s not telling a story, you’re not giving witty comebacks. It’s just the two of you and the fire, alone in the forest.

It breaks eventually. Soft, gentle. “I’m glad you’re out here, you know,” Soonyoung says.

His words make you stiffen and relax all at once, and almost on instinct you look in the direction of his tower. You can’t really see the silhouette - the sun too far gone, taking the last of its light with it - but you know it’s there, can pinpoint exactly where it should be. You hope Soonyoung’s looking over at you, too.

And even if the reason you’re here in the first place is still a tender bruise to be pressed, you find yourself recovering a little more every day. “I am, too,” you respond. “I… I wish you were over here.”

It’s a roundabout way to say I miss you, but a part of you thinks neither of you are ready for something that explicit. You reach a hand out in the direction of Soonyoung’s tower, grasping at it like it might bring him to you. It’s not as if you can’t meet up with him again, but… between the distance and the fact that there’s an actual fire to keep your eye on, it certainly wouldn’t be easy. This is the closest you can get for now.

“I wish I was too,” Soonyoung says. You close your eyes to picture him, pretty smile and fond eyes. “We could hang out, like last time.”

“Without the radios,” you add. 

“We could, um… you know.”

His words make you giggle, and you feel a little lucky that you’re not holding down the button. Your heart is pounding in your chest, nervous but stable, secure, as you reply. A welcomed beat, even if startling.

“No, I don’t,” you tell him. Your soda sits forgotten, half-empty, on the floor of the deck by your feet. You don’t bother paying attention to the fire. “What could we do?”

Soonyoung groans and this time you laugh pushing the button so he can hear you, warm and affectionate. “Don’t tease me! You know what I’m talking about.”

You do. “What could we do, Soonyoung?”

There’s a pause, but you know he’s still there.

“Well,” he says eventually. “Let me tell you.”

DAY SEVENTY-SIX.

The fire’s gotten big.

You feel like you shouldn’t be surprised by it - it’s a wildfire, they’re not exactly easy to contain, but seeing it up close like this is vastly different from being in a city and barely even noticing the smoke. It is larger than life out here, consuming more and more of the forest each day. The last few days you’ve spent inside due to the low visibility (though it’s not as if you take a hike every day anyways). It makes you wonder if it’s safe to stay out here.

“...Hey,”  Soonyoung radios in. “I have a question for you.”

Rationally, you know whatever it is, it can’t be that serious. But your heart picks up pace anyways, beats a little harder as you pick up your radio to respond. “Look, it was Jihoon’s idea to use the fireworks, I promise neither of us knew it would start the fire.”

Soonyoung sputters out a laugh and you match him, feeling yourself calm down. “I’ll… I’ll ask Jihoon about that later, but - I really do have something to ask you.”

You lay down in your bed, unmade and messy. “Is it… bad?”

“I don’t think so,” Soonyoung responds. “Maybe?”

“Okay…” you say, timid. “Shoot.”

“When you first got here, I asked why you took the job,” he says, and you nod to yourself, remembering the first call you got from him. “You just… never really responded. I get it if it’s, like, a touchy subject, I don’t want to pressure you at all…”

“No,” you interrupt before you realize what you’re saying. You take a deep breath, Soonyoung waits. “No, it’s probably… it might be good to talk about it. I’ll tell you.”

He murmurs an okay, tells you to take your time and you do. It’s not like you’re scared to tell him - you’ve come to trust him, you know he won’t judge you for anything that happened or think any differently of you. You’re not even sure that’s why it’s hard for you to talk about - rather than any sort of outside force that might affect you, it’s more… more of a part of you that you felt you lost. It’s more coming to terms - even after these months - and going through the motions. It’s scary to talk about disconnection, especially from the one thing you loved (love?) more than anything.

“I… write,” is how you start, looking at the ceiling of your cabin as you speak. “Or wrote, maybe? I’m an author. I have a few books published. Writing is something I’ve loved since I was so young, it’s… a part of me, really. It’s special to me.

“When I finally got a manager and a publishing company and all that official stuff, I was so excited. It was like I was finally living my dream. I wrote my first book and got it published and it did really well, so my management asked me to do another, and I did. Then they asked for one after that, and I didn’t… it felt too soon, in a way. Rushed. But I guess I did it because I had to, because I figured this just came with being a writer and not everything is what you want it to be - and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had wanted almost my entire life.”

You take a moment to steady yourself, note the tremble of your fingers and take a few deep breaths. Soonyoung waits for you, patient and kind. “It went like that for a while, and I lost touch with writing. I stopped loving the only thing I knew how to love. I was so detached from it. A few months before I took this job my manager set up a press conference for me, and I… kind of… had a breakdown. At the conference. So I’m out here to run away for a second. Be away from it all.”

The quiet that follows doesn’t make you nervous, really, but you’re still waiting for a reply of any sort. Even if it’s the common oh or it’ll be okay that you got from distant friends and relatives who didn’t know what was really going on. But Soonyoung was patient with you, so you can be patient with him.

“Have you written since?” He asks after a minute, and your eyes flash over to the journal on your desk. One page has the familiar strokes and loops of your handwriting, written after you met Soonyoung in person.

“Only once,” you respond, truthful.

“When you start to write again… will you show me?”

And for some reason the question is so tender, filled to the brim with something you want to name. It makes tears spring to your eyes as you look out over the rising fire, trying not to let your voice shake too much as you reply.

(Maybe it’s because he said when and not if, maybe it’s because he didn’t tell you it’ll be okay, maybe it’s because it’s him and not someone else telling you the same thing.)

“Yeah,” you say, letting go of the button to sniff. “Yeah, I will. If you let me see one of your dances.”

You hear Soonyoung’s smile through the radio as he tells you it’s a deal.

DAY SEVENTY-EIGHT.

For the first time since you started working, someone who isn’t Soonyoung calls you through the radio (not counting the time you radioed Jihoon to make sure he was still alive, because you only saw him once and hadn’t heard from him since then). You hear the familiar click that tells you someone’s on the station, and you’re fully expecting Soonyoung’s voice to light up your cabin the way it always does. Instead, Joshua’s voice rings through.

“You there?” He asks after a comfortable call of your name, and you pick up your radio.

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s been a while,” you respond, and Joshua hums. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve… been,” he tells you, which earns a small laugh. “Anyways, I called in to let you know that they’re having trouble controlling the fire -”

You take a look at the giant flume of smoke north of your tower, nodding to yourself. “I can see that.”

Joshua tells you to be quiet. You hear the friendly smile in his voice.

“There’ll be an evacuation team here within the next two days,” he says. “Maybe less, shouldn’t be more. They’re gonna get all the lookouts evacuated.”

Oh. Evacuation? That means… the city. Your apartment, back to your family and friends. You’d forgotten an entire world exists outside of the bubble you created for yourself.

“Okay,” you say slowly, still looking at the fire. “I assume you’ve told the other lookouts?”

“I’ve got a few more to call, but other than that, yeah, everyone’s covered. I told Soonyoung and Jihoon first,” Joshua tells you, and you blink at the fact that you didn’t even have to ask. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Yeah. Stay safe, Josh.”

You sit for a while after that, trying to cope with the feeling in your chest. You… you feel better about everything, about writing, for sure, but. But. It’s cut short, even if only by a little over a week. You haven’t even started packing anything up - so much of you is strewn around the cabin, in the field around your tower, in the trees of the forest you hiked through. You don’t think you’re ready to say goodbye to the place you’ve made your home and the people (person, your heart whispers) with it. 

The sun starts to set and the fire grows. You sit on your bed and look at the things you’ve made your own, a sunken, unfinished emotion spreading through you. Eventually it is Soonyoung’s voice that comes from your radio, low and humorous.

“The Hoshi Fire can’t be stopped…” he murmurs, and you laugh despite the loss you feel. 

“Please,” you groan into your radio after you’ve grabbed it. “We’re getting evacuated!”

Soonyoung giggles, something mischievous that makes your heart warm with slow appreciation. “I can’t believe it’s ending so soon,” you say, standing up to walk around aimlessly.

“Yeah, the summer went by super fast, huh?” Soonyoung replies. “I’m kind of excited, though. I’ve missed a proper dance studio.”

That’s… oh. 

A current of mild surprise rolls through you and you think you physically feel your jaw drop, just a little. That - that hurt. More than you want it to, more than you think it should - but it’s... fine. You’ve only known Soonyoung for a few months, it’s not like…

You realize you haven’t responded and open your mouth on purpose this time. “I wish we could share the sentiment, Hoshi,” you joke, hoping it doesn’t sound too stiff. 

If Soonyoung notices anything, he doesn’t say it. Only laughs, sweet and genuine. “I’m sure you’ll find something to yearn for just as I yearn for dance,” he says dramatically. You laugh, forced, because yeah, you will. Maybe you already have.

DAY EIGHTY.

Evacuation day.

Last day in your tower. Last day in the forest. Last day of the job you took to escape, to heal. It’s spent packing up the things you brought with you, throwing away everything else. Joshua said helicopters would be touching down at two points - Twin Peaks lookout and Mule Point lookout. Twin Peaks is Soonyoung’s tower, and if you planned it out right, you could probably get there and leave with him.

You tell yourself that the reason you can’t is because Mule Point is closer. Safer. They’re evacuating you for a reason.

“Hey.”

Speak of the devil, you think, grabbing your radio from its charging port. “Hi.”

“So,” Soonyoung says. For the first time since you’ve known him, he seems awkward. “Evacuation day.”

“Yessir…”

“What evacuation point are you hiking to?”

You pause, hesitate like you’re about to say something you shouldn’t. “Mule Point,” you manage to get out. “It’s closer,” you say after, your brain telling you to justify it, explain.

“What did the Hoshi Fire ever do to you?” Soonyoung huffs out through a laugh, and it sounds so unaffected that you feel that ache from before again. After a second, he adds, “so… this’ll be the last we talk. At least for a while.”

That realization hits you like a brick and the sting behind your eyes seems normal - regardless of whatever was built between you and Soonyoung or what lead you out here in the first place, it’s so sad that it’s ending. “Yeah,” you say quietly. Everything is packed, you just need to get hiking. “I, um. Is it cheesy to say thank you?”

“Maybe,” Soonyoung chuckles. “But it’ll also make me feel really good, so…”

You feel yourself calm down and let out your own small giggle. Maybe it was always meant to end this way, a little too soon, a little too sad. “Really… thanks, Soonyoung. I think it would’ve been worse for me if I got the silence I came out here for. I’m glad I had you to talk to.”

“Thank you, too,” Soonyoung says back. “I hope… you write again. I’ll talk to you later.”

The mention of it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to, and you feel the smallest of smiles on your lips. “Yeah. Later.”

The radio clicks off and that’s the last you hear from Soonyoung.

EPILOGUE.

It’s hard to come back.

From nature, from Soonyoung - everything, really. To go from trees and fires and talking every night back to car horns, busy sidewalks and your own apartment. It’s weird to wake up and not see the immediate shine of the sun through your windows. But you come back, slowly get used to the life you had before.

And you start writing.

Given - you get back in August only start writing again in October, but you write. Little by little, page after page. Maybe not every day, like you used to, but the words are back and they are eager to get out, leave their mark as your work. You stand up to your management (with Minghao’s support) and take control of your own writing schedule. The pressure from before leaves. Writing becomes special more than ever, returns as the one thing you never get truly tired of.

Minghao asks about the job, your summer. You tell him it was easy and peaceful, and that you’re thankful for the time. You mention the other lookouts. You mention Soonyoung. Only in passing, though. 

(Minghao definitely suspects something, but even if he asked, you wouldn’t tell him much.)

Sometimes you allow yourself to think of him - when you got back, you looked for a Soonyoung in the multiple dance studios in the city, but since you didn’t have a last name or any proper title, nothing came up. After that, you gave up, but he still shows up in your thoughts from time to time, bright blonde hair (the roots growing in) and glowing smile. It’s cold out, now, so you hope he isn’t getting sick and that he’s staying warm.

You’re reminded of just how cold it is when you have to brace the outside world to get your mail. There’s not even any wind, just an undeniable cold, and it makes your nose burn and eyes water as you walk the short trek to your mailbox. You find your slot and push your key in, unlocking it and gathering your mail. Most of it is junk, but you could have sworn something you ordered was supposed to come today -

“Excuse me?”

You turn your head to the voice and find a man walking towards you, his head turned down towards a small piece of paper. His voice sounds familiar, but you figure it must just be a neighbor you haven’t spoken to in a while. You turn your body to him, waiting for him to look up from the note so you can place a name on him. “Do you know where I can find an author…”

He looks up.

It’s Soonyoung.

He looks a little different - his hair is shorter, dyed black instead of the platinum you remember from last July. But it’s definitely him. The longer you stare at each other the wider his smile gets, and you stand, speechless. He’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. Your heart starts to race, warms you up beneath your jacket.

“Found you,” Soonyoung grins. You can’t take your eyes off of him.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “You did.”

[khaleesiofalicante]

im so

tired

but

I wanna read this chp because max and Magnus figure their shit out and I have been looking forward to it

I need to be up at 7 for school

it is 2 13am

petition to bring Shafqat Mehmood back he was the one whole closed schools and switched us to online the first time

I need that right now

ok anyway

shit the dreams

oh my love

max honey...

he's hurting Magnus in his dreams...

im gonna cry

“You are not gonna kill bapak.”

He took another breath.

“You are not gonna kill bapak.”

Another one.

“You are not a kill bapak.”

He kept telling himself that.

oh my baby

max please honey you're not going to hurt him

He wasn’t historically great at talking about things anyway.

OOO THIS IS FROM RWRB

but like same

“Hey. So, I’ve been dreaming about killing my father,” Max could say. “Is that normal?”

no that's not normal

you've been through some serious fucking shit of course it's not normal

and yeah it seems weird but max you can't keep it bottled in

it is going to hurt so much worse

do...do other people dream about killing their parents...?

It was more like…It was as if the dream came from within himself.

From his own mind.

From his own heart.

yes that is how dreams work

normally

ayyy the ocean

max doing some good shit

HE GETS PURPLE WHEN SUNBURNT OMG

ELYAAS

And yeah he's right

people are shits

let's kill them im down

I keep on forgetting he has horns

it's a shock every time they are mentioned

LMAO MAX AND RAFE-

it fucking hurts because max keeps on going "Bapak's alive"

baby, please

bapak replied because he usually had no clue where anything was in their house.

NO, BECAUSE SAME

My aunt knows every detail about my house mainly because my brother keeps her updated

our old maid coming back after months: HEYY

my brother already on the phone with my aunt: YO SHE'S HERE

I would be living in the house and having no clue about shit

“Max,” dad groaned. “I’m sleeping.”

“No. You are on your phone.”

“I am both.”

I am gonna send this to my aunt and caption it "You"

THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT SHE DOES

His father groaned and got off the bed. “If it’s there when I check, I am locking you inside the closet.”

“That’s homophobic,” Max pointed out.

ALEC HUIIUCFDUIFUHHUDFVKHK

But then he had seen David in basketball shorts and…well, he supposed a basketball court wasn't the worst idea.

oh my...

AWWW THEM

THEY ARE JUST SO CUTE

“This is angelic discrimination,” Lexi countered.

YES IT IS

LET LEXI FLY

AWW CUDDLING PRIVLIGES

wait to malec know of the tattoo?

MAX JUST SIMPING OVER DAVID HSUSDCYYD

Chopin bestest

“Your demon baby is obsessed with you,” Max pointed out.

Because that's just a thing they said now.

cute

nooo, he left it in Paris?? :((

AHHH THEY ARE GOING SHOPPING

“We are just going shopping,” Max pointed out. “Why are you dressed like James Dean?”

like who?

anyway, David looking hella fine

max...you dont keep a wallet with you...?

how do you pay for shit-

oh right magic

hi random person

oh yeah the blood bending

max :((

I wanna hug him and never let him go

THAT OLD WARLOCK NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP

GO AWAY SHOO

max...whatever you wanna do with the power...be careful and be safe okay? ily and dont listen to others

oof he bent asmodeus' blood too?

noice

uh I mean-

DAVID OMG YOU GOT A CAR

“So, they got you a car?” Max grumbled. “Mine are trying to get me to go to therapy.”

you probably should

I wanna make tea but it is 2 57 am and i do not wanna risk waking anyone up

“I mean, portals are very cool,” Max cleared his throat. “But you can’t make out in the back seat of a portal.”

true so true my boy

LMAO MAX IS A HORNY LITTLE SHIT I ADORE HIM

“Chocolate and your fingers are like my favorite thing to have inside my mouth.”

IM GONNA SCREAM

he's gonna send the pic to Coraline...

<33

hi Coraline

FUCK

please kid dont-

he's not...

please

But this didn’t happen to other people though.

Not to shadowhunters – who only looked cool and sexy with their ‘tattoos’.

Not to faeries – who looked 'so pretty' in their 'costumes'.

fuck im going to cry

MAX YOU LISTEN TO ME

YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SCREW THIS MUNDANE I HATE KIDS IM GONNA PUNCH THE KID IN THE FACE

He had mastered the art of not giving a fuck.

But now…now he wasn’t so sure.

Now he felt self-conscious again.

Now he felt scared again.

Now it hurt.

Because this time, he wasn’t sure whether what the others said was actually wrong.

yeah...it fucking hurts

but we get through it right? it hurts and it takes time but we get to the other side

but the other side isn't fixed

it hurts fuck it really does

but max please baby

I love you

He didn’t have much energy for anything else. So, he laid down in bed and just…well, he did nothing.

that numbing feeling

my love, max take one of those no-nightmare potions

sleep makes it better but not sleep like this

so take a potion or spell or that shit

fuck im gonna cry that dream

baby...

max, angel please be okay

this sucks so much I dont...I cant see you go through shit like this...

alec is just very oblivious, isn't he?

dude, I am literally imagining a horror movie soundtrack playing

And he felt...He felt misplaced.

Like he wasn’t supposed to be there.

you really said: Imma hit this bitch so hard with this chapter

max you need an outlet

WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN FFS

David was the angel.

And then there was Max.

Son of a prince of hell – one that made of pure demon blood.

max you have the purest heart I have ever seen

dont...please dont

But nobody had told him that he’d have to do this shit over and over again.

He had assumed it was a one-time kinda thing.

But no.

When shit happened, the insecurities and anxieties came rushing up again.

And he was back where he started.

it's the same thing over and over again

and it sucks

it really does

you'll find yourself at point A so many times, when you think you're finally over this shit you'll find yourself back there again

and it's going to hurt like hell but my love we have to be strong

it's all we can do

pick ourselves back up and keep on walking

Until one day…Until one day, he wouldn’t be able to do it anymore.

angel no

please don't...

even if...even if you do find yourself at that point, I...I hope you have the people and the courage to slowly get back up

because there is so much left to live for

even in times, it feels hopeless

AHJAHHSAXJHSDC MAX WALKING IN ON RAFE AND ANJALI

“I guess you don’t ruin everything,” Rafael chuckled as he sat down opposite him.

fuck

Rafael, I know you didn't mean it like that

“He is a goner for David,” Rafael told Anjali seriously.

arent we all?

“Max,” Rafael groaned. “Stop it, you demon!”

oh

oh max

these days god

it's good to cry

let yourself

“No one,” Max said. “Leviathan is my father. I’m an eldest curse. I…I’m a monster.”

no.

who your sperm donor is doesn't define you

and it never will

“Do you want to hurt people?” Rafael asked.

Max shook his head.

“Then there you go,” Rafael smiled.

THIS!!!

it's a choice to hurt people

“Because you are scared,” Rafael whispered. “Because you are stressed.”

!!!!!

this too shall pass

I feel like that is from somewhere but im not sure

“The shadow world does have a rich history of patricide,” Max mumbled.

“That’s not the kind of history we are going to be a part of, okay?” Rafael asked, holding his face. “Ours is the history of Lightwood-Banes. We don’t kill. We create. We don’t hurt. We love. Do you hear me?”

RAFAEL YES!!!!!

what-ifs are really scary

but here's the thing

we can either dwell on them and push ourselves deeper into the pool, or we can live our life one day at a time, one step at a time, and see what the future holds

what-ifs are terrifying, angel

but we cannot dwell on them too much

“You want me to tell bapak I have dreams about killing him?” Max asked incredulously. “Do you want him to kill me first?”

MAX HBJXYUHDCSUYKDSFCYUDF

im sure he won't do that...maybe

JKJK

About the possibility that Max might destroy his father’s legacy.

About the end of the Lightwood name.

this actually haunts my sleep

it's scary to think that one day, someone might unravel alec's work

it terrifies me

but here's the thing

it might happen, or it might not

for every bad person, there is a good person

and I know that there are going to be people who are always going to stand in the face of destruction and oppression

that gives me hope

He knew he won’t hurt anyone.

He knew he didn’t want to.

But the fact that he could if he wanted…It scared him.

The potential. The possibility.

It terrified him.

He wasn’t a saint. Max knew that.

maybe, yeah

so hold on to people who ground you, who keep you from going there

you know, immortal people

“Yeah,” Rafael said. “You're my brother. You’re the only person who is allowed to almost kill me.”

Max smiled at that. “And Selena.”

Rafael laughed. “And Selena.”

so true bestie

“Max,” Rafael said softly. “Listen to me. There are always going to be people who will call you things. The Clave is changing. I’m doing my best. But I need you to know there will be people out there who will always think of you as a curse just as they will always look at me as a criminal.”

yes

it's unfortunate but it's the truth

you cant hope to change everyone's hearts

some people... are just bad

LMAO ANJALI CANNOT COOK

“I’m used to people spontaneously sobbing in this house,” Anjali pointed out.

“Hey! That movie was fucking sad, okay!” Rafael argued.

“It was a documentary,” Anjali deadpanned. “About silk.”

“It’s called Silk Road! It’s not about actual silk!”

“You do cry a lot,” Max chuckled. “You once cried because bapak forgot your phone number.”

OMG THEM

THIS IS SO CUTE'

I am so Rafael in this situation

“You should,” Anjali said then. “There is nothing wrong with it.”

YES PREACH

“Oh,” Anjali said. “Do you want to kill him?”

“What?” Max blanched. “Of course not!”

“Great. Then don’t kill him,” she grinned. “Problem solved.”

“It is this ruthless efficiency that keeps my Clave intact,” Rafael chuckled.

I fall in love with her more every passing chapter

she's right though

RAGNOR'S BDAY

WHOOP WHOOP

wow everyone is drunk

AHAHHAHAH "Which one?" "Both"

I AM DEAD

MINAAA

oof yeah medicine is tough

you'll make it through im sure ❤️

You can procrastinate as much as you want because you had all the time in the world.

how do I become a warlock

actually, I love being busy

so I feel like I would get bored

I hate staying still

we dont even get much homework GIVE ME HOMEWORK PEOPLE I LIKE IT

im weird

aww Magnus is the one who got them drunk

MAGNUSSS

they are so cute I am going to cry

I forget max is tiny

and Magnus is giant

AW THEY ARE IN PERU

OH FINALLY YES TALK TO EACH OTHER

oh Magnus honey come here lemme hug you, I dont like seeing you in pain

“Because I wanted you to hate me,” Max confessed. “Because I thought I was going to die. And I thought…I thought it would be easier for you if you hated me.”

Max my love no

the thing is, he can't hate you

parents...well it's complicated with them isn't it

they cant hate you...no matter what you do

“Made me hate you?” bapak echoed. “I never hated you!”

“But I said all those-”

“It hurt me, yes. But it didn’t make me hate you,” bapak said softly. "I don't hate you."

im gonna cry someone hold me

these two just...

they are gonna be the ones left

“Why would I hate you?” bapak raised an eyebrow. “What did you do? Did you sell my clothes on eBay again?”

Max chuckled. “No. Also, for the record, Rafael was the one who brought all of them. So, your clothes never really left the apartment.”

Bapak affectionately rolled his eyes at that. “You crazy kids.”

istg this family is crazy

I love these bitches so much~

“You won’t hate me, right?” Max asked in a whisper, remembering his dream. “In a century or two…You won’t end up hating me?”

No. Never

Ah yes, the charango

the charango story is so fucking hilarious

THEY THREW A FUCKING FESTIVAL

aww he broke it

“I’m sorry,” Max said again. “I know I cause you a lot of trouble.”

same.

now I want to go and apologize to my parents

because I really dont make it easy

Max shook his head fondly. “What I meant was…People don’t fall in love with me the way they do with Rafael. I’m…I’m not easy to love. I know that. I don’t make it easy.”

dude, same

let's go sit in a corner together now

“When you came into our lives, Alec took you into his arms and made you his own. But I couldn’t do that. I struggled so much with you. Because you gave me something I never thought I could have. You gave me a family. You scared the shit out of me, Max. I was so scared of you. Never of who you are, but of who you turned me into. A father.”

“You are a good father,” Max said softly. “You know that, right?”

“Because of you,” he said gently. “Because of Rafael.”

Max smiled at that. He squeezed bapak’s hand gently.

“When I found you, I didn’t know how to love you. I didn’t know if I had it in me to love you. But then I got to know you. I fell in love with you slowly, day after day, every day a little bit more, but never any less. But you are right. You don’t make it easy. You don't make it easy to love you, Max. You’ve always been a challenge. But I like a good challenge. I like loving you.”

“I like loving you too,” Max whispered, his eyes tearing up.

“So, don’t ever think I will hate you,” the man said seriously. “Because I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know how to look at you with anything but love.”

omg

I am gonna cry oh my god

them

finally some good soup

“Because I know my son,” bapak whispered. “Max. You...You got rid of Asmodeus. You did that. For me. Because you wanted me to be safe. That’s the boy I raised. Whoever is in your dream, that’s not you. That’s not my bluebell.”

yes, max

angel you...I love you so much

yeah let's stay away from blood bending

“You can’t lose control of your magic, Max. Not really,” bapak said gently. “Everything a warlock does, it’s a choice. We must own up to those choices.”

“Okay,” Max whispered.

“Your magic is beautiful,” bapak smiled at him. “Treat it kindly. Be good to your magic.”

YES

EXACTLY YOU AMAZING LITTLE SHIT ILY SO MUCH

oh

oh baby

im gonna cry now bye

“I don’t know what to say to that,” bapak said honestly. “All I know is that however much it hurts; you won’t have to go through it alone. I’ll be there. I’m always going to be there.”

they are not going to be alone

it's a tiny comfort

grief becomes slightly easier when there are those around to share it with

The way he only swore when no one was around. The way he giggled when Max kissed his stomach. The way he fiddled with the Lightwood necklace when he was nervous. The way checked on his family before he went to sleep every night. The way he always gave a tiny piece of his food to Dorian Gray before he ate anything. The way he pushed back his hair with one hand. The way he smelled a book before he read it.

write it down

I am serious

“I want to remember everything,” Max said then. “I know…I know that’s like biologically impossible for my brain. But I don't care. Fuck biology. I want to remember. David deserves to be remembered.”

“Then remember him,” bapak said softly. “You do whatever it takes to remember your David.”

yes...remember him

“Max. There will be times when we don’t speak to each other. We might drift apart. Out of anger. Out of loneliness. For so many reasons. It’s a side effect of immortality. But whatever happens, remember that I love you. I will always love you.”

“Even if I may or may not have sold your white Versace shirt on eBay?” Max asked.

they will always find their way back

oh, max...

alec is just so fucking endearing like dude

I want to keep him in a bottle

When they went back home, dad was in the living room, folding laundry. Bapak threw himself at his husband.

“Take me to bed,” bapak whispered into the man’s shoulder.

AWWWW

THESE TWO

“Magic is for important things only,” Max huffed.

“Like turning Rafael’s white shirt into neon pink?” dad asked, holding it up.

“He insulted my hoodie!!!”

“I told Rafael,” dad grinned. “He said ‘jokes are on Max because I call pull this shit off.”

he totally can omg he's so hot

respectfully of course

ANJALI AND RAFAEL ARE BOTH SO FUCKING HOT I PANIC EVERY TIME-

oh yes finally alec isn't so oblivious

“But you can…you have eternity to talk with Magnus,” dad said, his eyes on the floor. “I don’t have that. If you are mad at me or something, you need to tell me now. I don’t want to lose a second of what we have over miscommunications and petty fights. Do you understand?”

alright you fuckers enough immortality talk

but alec bby ily so much and you are so right

Dad rolled his eyes and sat down next to him. “Why does that asshole keep haunting me even after death?”

LMAO RIGHT??

oh yes that beauty

“I know it was a stupid vision. I know it might never happen. But what Asmodeus showed me wasn’t a lie,” Max said. “If anyone ever hurts, bapak, I will destroy them.”

Dad didn’t say anything. He was just looking at Max intently.

“I know the Clave is important to you. I know you built all of this, and I know growth isn’t linear and people make mistakes and I know all of that. But I don’t care. I don’t care about the law or the covenant or the clave or any of that. I’m sorry, dad. But I don’t want to lie to you. No one gets to hurt bapak. If the nephilim ever fucking dare to try, I won’t hesitate to set the Clave on fire. I will burn it all down.”

max I will fucking help you

no one hurts Magnus Bane

I HAVE KNIVES

DON'T FUCING MESS WITH ME

YES ALEC YOU GO MY BOY

MY UNHINGED LITTLE SHIT

“When I am dead and gone, I don’t want people to remember all the laws I created or all the battles I fought in. I want them to remember how much I loved your father.”

I WILL LITERALLY SCREAM OMG YES YES YES

“Someone like Asmodeus would never understand how love could be more important than power,” his father said, his blue eyes burning. “So, fuck him. Asmodeus was wrong. You will not disappoint me. You will not break my heart. You will not destroy my life’s work. Magnus is my life. So, if anyone hurts your bapak, then go ahead.”

“What do you mean?” Max asked in a whisper.

“A century from now or five centuries away, if anyone hurts Magnus, you will unleash hell on them,” his father said sternly. “Do you understand?”

Max looked at him, swallowing all the emotions. “What if it's the Clave? What if the law fails him? What if the Clave hurts bapak?”

“Burn it down, my baby. Burn it all down,” his father smiled. “You have my blessing.”

THE LAST LINE SIR-

that is so hot ngl

“Holy shit,” Max laughed. “I thought you were the sensible one in the family and but you are just…you are seriously unhinged, dad.”

Dad chuckled at that. “Where do you think you get it from? Leviathan? Pfft. It’s all me, bud.”

SEE??

THIS BITCH UNHINGED AS FUCK

aww a sea shell that's so cute

reminds me of vva

gasp

he's writing it down

yes David...he is wearing a suit

OH MY GOD WE FOUND THE THING THAT TURNS DAVID ON

oh my god, David-

it's always the quiet ones...

Thank god - and Magnus Bane - for portals.

I thank Magnus Bane every day

“I do not have a suit kink!” David chastised.

Max laughed. “Everything you did in the last hour contradicts that statement.”

NJXSHUICDSUICDUIDF

that sums up me right now

oh baby...

“I know…I know I am a piece of shit,” Max said, wiping his tears with his elbow. “But I am not a bad person. I’m not a bad person, David.”

you're not. you're not a bad person, angel

“If you were a bad person, I wouldn’t let you inside my heart,” David said. “I keep you there, Max. I keep you inside my heart. You earned the right to be there.”

im gonna fucking cry

“Listen to me, Max. I know people say we shouldn’t listen to what others think of us. But that’s easier said than done. I know how hard it is to drown out all that noise. Sometimes it feels like it’s all you can hear.”

“Yeah,” Max gave a shaky nod.

“When you feel that way, come back to me,” David whispered. “Come back to my voice. I will help you remember who you are. For as long as I am there, I will help you remember.”

“Help me remember,” Max said, resting his forehead against David’s now. “Tell me. Please.”

“You are the boy who ran to hell to save his love. You are the boy who gathered the entire shadow world. You found out you have the power of a prince. The power to destroy realms. But the first thing you did was march into hell and destroy the demon who has been hurting your father. That’s who you are. Remember that boy. That’s you. A person who is selfless. A person who fights. A person who loves. Max. Remember. You are a good person.”

Max clutched David tightly. He kissed the shadowhunter’s shoulder.

“And no matter what happens, you will always be the boy who passed out when he saw me naked for the first time.”

THIS WHOLE THING THEIR LOVE

this is so fucking cute

I am gonna miss Max so fucking much I am about to cry. It is also 4 40 am...gonna try and get 2 hours of sleep gn <3

BRO.

This reaction just made realise you, max and I have a lot in common.

I think the three of us should sit down (preferably at the beach) and talk about this.

You in??????

[astrxealis]

YES I LOVE THE DYNAMIC TOO 😭 totally not projecting myself onto kiyo 💀💀‼️ also U GOT THEM SO ON POINT i can see kiyo get tired rlly easily bc she does nothing but talk all day TELL ME ABT UR OCS ASWELL I NEED TO KNOW 👁

I LOVE YOUR OCS YO THEY SO COOL 😭😭💞✨ and omg... i see 👀✨ hehehe <3 ;D

wiehwjdbwj wah OKOK THEN 😳👉👈 ok uh the lowkey idealized self-insert is named joie/astria, & my biggest ocs are lyra + merle + sol(ace) + nyx(ion) + elesthel + crystl !! all are part of this original world of mine i just have stuck /pos in my head so hahdjsb <3

so joie/astria is technically a self-insert but also/or an oc !! she's just yeah aihdsjbdks me but a bit different WHHSDJSB <333

lyra is vv vv lovely !! shes a music kinda person, plays guitar, very sweet but like... the enabler to astria's chaos AKSJWKJS so yeah not as pure as she might seem </3 highly thoughtful, she/they (but any is fine tbh), i'd compare her to the sun! cottagecore & aerith vibes, she's astria's partner in crime but also her comfort so yeah... <3 literal soulmates tbh

ok so merle is, first things first, probably a bit annoying JABDKWJ saggi/scorpio cusp, he's p cheeky and snarky, getting on ur nerves often but he's observant, caring, just pretty cynical and "no nonsense" even if he does joke around a lot too <3 he's technically well. he/they but call him by anything and he won't bat an eye <3 he and astria understand each other a lot but both r stubborn so. painful mutual pining AUBSKDNS

sol and nyx are kind of like "guardian angels", who are kind of twins but not really? complicated !! both have he/they prns, they're kind of opposites of each other but also vv much similar too <3 sol seems all lively and cheeky but hes actually p dark, nyx seems tsun and aloof but is vv soft n shy ...

elesthel is a 300 or 500 yr old scholar who is ... extremely pretty. and tall. she/they prns akbdkwjs she's pretty mysterious and like ice queen vibes but just yeah smooth, pretty witty, she loves to tease <3 she's cold yeah but also very warm idk ... big sis vibes but in a more chill way + chaos enabler

crystl big bro type !! he gives thoma vibes tbh but ive had him earlier WHAHAHSB <3 he prns but fine w any, but not as fond of female leaning terms bcs he's teased a lot for his "girly" name WHBSJDB he has... a ponytail. yeah. he's vv kind and caring but wld definitely scold you but also yk read you stories and take care of u when ur sick .

regulus is another tbh, he's the half brother of merle (they have a p complicated relationship, mostly bcs merle had gotten shy w/ him LOL) !! he has diff colored eyes, grey hair ... he seems oblivious but at the same time mysterious and hiding smth beneath. all that. he's a prince he's very charming idk ajbdjs he/they <33

theres also al ... idk what name yet tbh but smth like alseri !! big sis vibes on the other hand, she's just earnest and lively but very observant and emotionally wise ... her and crys are AKNDKSJ but also its complicated at 1st bcs uh crys's fiance was al's sister. but now she's gone so. ALDNKSJA but they were all childhood friends and idk angst to fluff albdksjs <3 she's deep n all that tbh but it doesn't rlly show at 1st/on the surface ! she/he<3