#like. I can't use my hands. can't walk without pain. am slightly dizzy almost every day. abdominal pain all the time basically. close to

[thatmadshifter11]

The Shadowsinger and The Mistress of Love and Lust

Mate.

I could feel the nightmare in me growl at the word but the dreamer in me smiled softly and shed tears of genuine happiness. I felt like I was drowning in an ocean of glass.

Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate.

Then all I felt was pain.

My wings- the pain- my wings.

My wings are gone.

I wince. How can I feel pain in my wings? Suddenly I’m being swarmed by shadows-his shadows-Azriel! They circle me whispering softly, touching me lightly.

He needs you. He's in pain. Help him.

They call to me, the pain in m-his wings keeps growing stronger. I don't question how they found me or how they spoke to me, all I can think is save Az.

I vacate my post at the healing tent and leave my assistant Lily in charge. I set out to find Azr-my mate. I see my brother and Cassian, they both seem tense and it worries me. I have been cooped up in the healing tent and haven't heard about anything pertaining to the war other than healing the soldiers and warriors injuries. I walk towards the two illyrians trying to tap into the power to summon my wings.

Hot searing pain floods the bond and I drop to my knees unable to summon my wings or my battle fan. I sink lower as I feel the shooting pain in my ankle and the sharp stabbing pains still in m-his wings. I am going to murder whoever hurt Azriel- My Azriel.

Cassian rushes towards me spitting curses as he grabs my arm trying to help me up.  I give him a vulgar gesture and I call him things a High Lady shouldn’t even be able to think of. I yank my arm away and stand up slightly dizzy and nauseous. I catch myself on Cassian as I hear the faint sound of my brother laughing.

“Oh shut it Rhys” I say one hand on my hip the other leaning on Cass to stay balanced. “I was looking for Az but this fucking oaf got in the way,” I jab a finger in Cass’ chest. Cass looks at me with a snarl. I laugh as does Rhysand. “Well sister if your looking for him he should be flying back soon I have been awaiting his and Feyre’s return from rescuing Elain.” I smile knowing he should return, but then I remember the pain and the bond. “H-he's hurt brother like big time,” Rhys looks alarmed. “How do you know? And what happened” he asked, dragging me toward a group of chairs, Cassian following behind us.

"I felt it through our bond, a mating bond," I reply, wincing at the fresh wave of pain that surges through me. "His wings, they're damaged, and I think his ankle too. I need to find him, now."

Without waiting for their response, I push myself off the chair and start heading towards the direction the shadows came from. Every step feels like a dagger in my heart as I can sense Azriel's agony echoing down our bond. I almost stumble, but I steel myself and keep moving. I can't afford to falter now. My vision blurs, but I blink away the tears, focusing only on the path ahead./As I reach the spot where I had found the two stubborn Illyrians I see a shadowy figure in the distance. He drops quickly landing harshly groaning in pain. His wings, his glorious beautiful wings all torn and bloody filled with arrows I can only assume are ash arrows.

"Azriel," I call out, my voice breaking. I rush towards him, dread pooling in my stomach. He looks up, his eyes filled with pain but also relief at seeing me. I reach out to touch him but he winces, pulling away slightly. "I'm here, Az," I whisper, trying to assure him that he's safe now.

“Mate,” he growls at me in a sadder tone then his usual mocking raspy voice. “Yes, yes Mate, but for now lets get you healed alright?” He huffs which I can only assume is an answer to my question so I take it as one.

His eyes, usually so lively and watchful catching every slight move, are dulled by pain. Seeing him like this breaks my heart into a million pieces, but I swallow down the lump in my throat. I need to be strong for him.

Pt.2 link: https://www.tumblr.com/thatmadshifter11/748248818969198592/the-shadowsinger-and-the-mistress-of-love-and-lust?source=share

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm already very clumsy normally, but with this vertigo stuff I've just been walking into walls and things all day basically 🙃

I wish my body would stop adding more stuff to the already too long list of things that are very annoying but not serious enough that any doctor takes any of them seriously.

[missmorosis]

sick manager :)

-> feat. bokuto, oikawa, and tsukishima

part 2 with sugawara and kuroo here!

personally i loved writing these, so lmk if you want a part 2 with other characters 👀

TW: PASSING OUT :))

To sum up how you felt in one word, you were exhausted. You were physically overworked; pushed to your limit with tons of schoolwork, stress, extracurriculars, and on top of that, you were your school's volleyball team manager. You were merely a first year, but you did your job well, and the entire team loved you.

You had tried to power through the classes, running with just two hours of sleep. Work was starting to pile up, so you had no time for sleep.

You felt yourself falling asleep during lectures, curling up on the grass for quick naps during lunch, and throughout the day, you had the worst headache.

With luck, you managed to make it through, but you still had hours of volleyball ahead of you. You blinked hard, trying to get rid of the sleepiness clouding your head. Your head pounded, and nothing was really registering in your brain.

There was no denying it, you were sick.

It was bound to happen sooner or later, but it was still annoying. You didn't want to miss the day's volleyball practice, because you had an upcoming game, so you decided to just push through and deal with it. 

Ignoring how bad your head hurt, you slung your bag over your shoulder and walked out of the classroom.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto, someone you recognized as the captain of the team you were the manager for, spotted you from a distance and was already bouncing, beaming as he waved. You smiled back with a small wave. He didn't mind that you didn't match his enthusiasm; he was used to it, so he didn’t find anything suspicious about it.

The two of you walked down to the gym, Bokuto talking animatedly the whole way there in the background. You didn't mind though, it was nice to just listen. However, every word he chirped bore into your brain, seeming to echo.

You didn’t want to be rude, but you couldn’t help but try to drown out his voice by focusing on your surroundings.

A green bush. A tall tree. A group of students.

“Y/N?” Bokuto waved his hand in front of your face, and you looked up at the mention of your name.

“Hm? Sorry, sorry, I’m just... oh, we’re here!” you said, quickly changing the subject. You didn’t want him to worry, and it was no big deal anyways... You could finally see the gym, and you let out a sigh of relief. It felt like the short walk was actually several miles long. 

You finally made it- 

Shoot.

A sudden dizzy spell overtook you. Shutting your eyes tight, you stumbled on your own feet, your legs giving out beneath you. No, no, no....

"Y/N!" Bokuto yelped as he caught you. He pulled you close to him, and whimpering, you leaned on his chest, trying to stay conscious.

“Sorry...” you breathed softly, just trying to focus on the way Bokuto’s chest went up, and down.

Up... and down. You shut your eyes tighter as a wave of your headache hit. Bokuto’s arms around you were definitely helping you stay standing, and you were thankful. Up... and down.

Then you slumped into his arms.

...

The second your eyes opened again, you were knocked back with a hug. You grunted at the unexpected impact, but smiled when you realized it was Bokuto.

"Y/N! You're awake!" Bokuto yelled, his voice watery with relief. "I thought you died," he sobbed, and you hugged him tight.

"I'm fine, I promise," you said with a laugh. "Just... thirsty." Bokuto leaped to get you a glass of water as fast as he could.

While he was gone, you looked around to see that you were in the nurse's office. You could just imagine Bokuto running with you unconscious in his arms, and you smiled at the thought.

Bokuto came back with the promised water, and he lay a hand on you to check up on your temperature.

"You're really burning up... why didn't you tell me you were sick?" he asked, pouting.

"I didn't want you to worry... I thought I would be fine, and that I would make it through practice." He shook his head.

"I want to know, okay?" You nodded with a smile.

"How long was I unconscious?" He thought for a second before responding.

"Only for a couple seconds, but you were kinda drowsy so we made you rest. It's been a couple hours now." You immediately got up.

"Practice isn't over yet?" you asked, still hopeful. Maybe you could at least stay for an hour? It was better than noth-

"Y/N..." he sad warningly, and you knew going wasn't an option.

"Fine..."

"Good," he responded, satisfied with your answer.

Walking out of the classroom, you met eyes with Oikawa Tooru, who immediately lit up at the sight of you. His smile immediately turned into a frown, immediately noticing something was different about you, given how perceptive he was.

"What's wrong?" he questioned slowly, and you shook your head.

"Nothing's wrong, Tooru... I'm just tired," you said, but he looked at you suspiciously.

“You should take a break,” he reminded you gently, and you shook your head, no matter how tempted you were.

“I really can’t, I’ve got… a lot to do. But I’m fine, I swear,” you assured him, gesturing towards the gym, despite the sick feeling in your body. You swallowed, trying to swallow the dizziness. “Let’s go!” You tried for a smile, and Oikawa responded with a hesitant one, finally deciding to let it go. 

Starting to walk towards the gym with the volleyball player following close behind, you shook your head, trying to shake out the growing light-headed feeling that you dreaded. It wouldn’t go away.

Shutting your eyes as tight as you could, you didn’t even notice that you stopped walking until someone tapped your shoulder. 

“Hm?” You peeked your eyes open slightly to notice Oikawa standing next to you. 

“Y/N-chan?” His face was written all over with concern.

“Sorry, I just…” You laughed sheepishly, trying to shrug it off, but the pain was beginning to be way too much. “I.. just…” you tried to say, but you were unable to finish as you swayed to one side, tripping over your own feet trying to stay standing. You heard Oikawa's yelp as he rushed to catch you, and you blinked slowly before passing out completely.

...

As soon as you woke up, you found yourself in your own bedroom. When you got up, wondering how you got there, you were met with Oikawa's frown.

"When was the last time you had at least seven hours of sleep?" he asked, disapproval in his eyes as he pushed you back into bed. You gave a shy smile.

"Maybe... two weeks ago?" Oikawa gasped dramatically before tutting in distaste.

"You need to sleep, or else your health will plummet," he said, shaking his head. Of course, at that moment, your headache had to come back. You winced and shut your eyes, burying your face into your hands. "What's wrong?" You shook your head with a sigh.

"My head's killing me," you admitted. "It's been like this all day."

"Wha- Y/N," he scolded, leaving the room. Where was he going? Ah. He came back with some medicine and a thermometer.

"Thanks." You swallowed the medicine, and Oikawa immediately forced the thermometer into your mouth.

"103.2?! Y/N, you'll be here for a good three days. I'm not ever letting you leave your bed until you get better, and I won't leave either." You laughed at his motherly antics.

"But what about pract-" you started, but Oikawa shushed you.

"Think of it as a much needed break." You stared at him.

"Did you at least go today?"

"No, of course not! You were freaking unconscious, I can't go and hit some good serves if I know that my precious Y/N could possibly be in pain," he said with a pout.

"Aw, Tooru..." You kissed his cheek. "You're too swee-" He pushed you back into your pillows, pulling the covers up before you could finish.

"Now rest up, Y/N-chan."

You glanced at your phone; you still had an hour until volleyball practice...

A little nap wouldn't hurt, right?

You found a nice, private corner, and huddled up. Using your backpack as a pillow, you fell asleep almost instantly.

Some time later, Tsukishima was walking by, on his way to practice. His eyes spotted you asleep in the corner, and he smirked.

"Idiot," he muttered under his breath, laughing to himself softly. "Hey, get up, Y/N." He flicked his finger on your forehead, and laughed when you began to stir awake.

"Mm?" Your voice was raspy from both sickness and sleepiness, and you blinked your eyes, trying to adjust. You shielded your face from the light with your hand, and you finally made out Tsukki's tall figure kneeling in front of you. "Oh, hi Tsukki..." He held out his hand with a smug smile, offering to help you up.

You groaned when you realized that the nap didn't make your headache go away. Getting up too fast, you swayed for a good two seconds; Tsukki's hands were on your shoulders, trying to steady you.

"Ten bucks you don't make it through practice without passing out," he joked, but you had a feeling he was going to be ten dollars richer soon enough. You nodded sleepily, but quickly froze.

"Wait- am I late for practice?" You frantically dug your phone out, sighing in relief when you learned that you still had ten minutes to spare.

"What, you think I would be late?" Tsukishima said, jokingly. "But anyways, I'm not letting you go to practice today. Clearly you need rest... and..." His hand rested on your forehead, and he nodded. "Like I thought, you have a fever." You swatted his hand away.

"Today's practice is important, I can't miss it. I'll be fine, Tsukki, since when do you worry about me?" You turned around, heading towards the gym, when your head hurt just a bit too much. You winced, and faster than your brain could process what was happening, you were already falling to the ground and everything went dark.

...

"Oh, you're awake." You opened your eyes and saw Tsukishima waiting for you. You were in the nurse's office from the looks of it, and Tsukishima got up with some water and medicine.

"Here, take this." You nodded and followed his command.

"Thanks," you said, rubbing your head.

"Hm. You know how you asked when I started to worry about you?" he asked, sticking a thermometer into your mouth.

"Hm? Oh... yeah." You recalled how you had said something like that right before you passed out. You took the thermometer out and glanced at the temperature.

103.2. You hid the thermometer behind your back, knowing Tsukki would not be happy with your temperature.

"The answer was always; I always care about you, even if I don't seem like it."

"Wow, Tsukki..." It surprised you; you never thought you would hear anything nice coming out of Tsukishima's mouth.

"Also, you act like a five year old sometimes, people can't help but worry about you," he added. You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help but smile. "Now hand over the thermometer. I didn't forget." Sighing, you reluctantly gave it to him.

"Welp, will you at least cuddle with me until I get better?" you asked with pleading eyes.

"Come on, Y/N. You're contagious..." You pouted, and he sighed. "Fine."

BUT ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU ENJOYEDDDD!! THANKS FOR READING BABE

this is 100% not edited or proofread IM SORRY- IT MAY NOT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE HAHSJFJRI

ANY THOUGHTS?? IM DYING TO KNOW OMG

send an ask to be added to my haikyuu taglist 👀

[neoculturetechxgot7]

Gardenia on the Crown - J.J.H.

3; White sheets and frustration

pairing: Jung Jaehyun × Reader

genre: angst

length: lil less than 1k words?

warnings: mild language

``

The moment your hand comes in contact with the bronze coldness of the handle it's impossible to stop your chest from overfilling with waves of relief. You're only seconds away from walking into your newly acquired room, your personal maid awaiting on the other side of the door and fresh, perfumed sheets silently pleading to rest you.

Jaehyun is hot on your tail and although his suffocating grasp fell after reaching the top of the staircase, you can still prominently sense his presence behind your back, each one of his footsteps bouncing loudly against mosaic decorated walls and shiny marble. The burning feeling of his fingers curving around your wrist has now turned into a dull numbness, spreading out like some kind of venom over your skin with a unique lingering warmth.

Without sparing him a single glance, you push the heavy, wooden door open and enter your chamber, gaze instantly landing on the white bedding you've been longing to see all day. A light scent of flora and dust seeps into your lungs as you take a hesitant step inside, observing the room you'd be calling yours until the damned marriage for the first time.

Having arrived too early in the morning to meet both the prince and his father, you haven't had the chance visit it, only sent your maid to settle the luggage and assure everything is in order, even clean if needed. Judging from the looks of it, the royals were very generous with the choice of your temporary place...

Engraved walls, adorned by thin, intricate streaks of gold that shimmer so stunningly under noon sunlight, luxurious furniture on every corner and a bed almost bigger than the one back home, to house all your peachy dreams and grey nightmares. Upon walking further inside with slight precaution, you spot a gigantic bookcase taking up the entire expanse of the west wall, a colourful variety of book spines placed neatly in order on the shelves.

Thank God, they have books in this hellhole.

At least you will be more than comfortable while hiding from Jaehyun in here now.

The very next moment, a girl dressed in crimson red appears in front of you, bowing with her humble eyes falling to the ground in respect. The sight of her, one of the most trustworthy people in your life and probably your closest friend, instantly draws the curve of a smile on your face. Suddenly, it's almost as if that hideous morning fades into wrinkled scraps of memories, as if everything is going to be okay because her mere existence feels like home and that calms you in more ways than imaginable.

She greets you with the kindest voice, a small bow following.

"Can you please bring me my sleeping gown?" You order with a newfound liveliness dripping from your tone, fingertips reaching up to untie the front of your tight dress; sleep, sweet sleep how it's seducing your eyelids so greedily...

But the girl remains still, her gaze only rapidly moving from the floor to your face and on then something far behind you.

Then, it hits.

Swiftly and more aggressively than needed, you spin around on your thin heels just to find his overly too annoying figure leaning against the door frame, eyeing you with bare impatience.

"Why are you still here..." you ask, not able to conceal the obvious irritation oozing from each word.. "...your Highness?"

Jaheyun promptly nods at your maid and proceeds to casualy walk further inside your room -without permission-. "Could you leave us alone for a second, servant?"

Your blood immediately starts to boil upon hearing him. Who does he think he is to invade your private space so carelessly and give orders your maid in such a rude manner? Prince or not you aren't having it.

Watching her bow again and scurry to the door, you want nothing more than to pull the poor girl back and proudly show indiscipline to your future husband, but for the sake of honour, you manage to contain yourself to a dramatic cough to gather both their attention.

"Excuse me, but she is no servant. She's my maid and you have no right to boss her around!" You are nearly yelling, arms crossed over your chest, as the built up frustration has the chance of a small release for the first time today.

He moves aside for the girl to leave and keeps a quiet stance while slowly swinging the door closed.

"First of all, I do have the right." His voice revibrates into the room louder than you expected, before he turns to focus a pair of icy, freezing eyes, with all the intimidation and arrogance they carry, on you. "And second..."

His long strides quickly lead him just in front of where you're standing in the middle of the room, hands folded behind his back.

"What the hell were are you doing?"

You're utterly taken aback by his sudden reaction, not fully understanding what he means. Even so, you stand your ground, taking a step forward and wearing the most stern face you can master, hands subconsciously running over the ruffles of your dress.

"What am I doing?"

"Why did you fake a headache?"

And your limbs fall still, lips slightly parting at a loss for words, your glance descending from his face to the thin white shirt cladding his chest. This is a second blow you didn't expect, although it was quite obvious the pretentious pain and dizziness back there wasn't all that believable.

Does he have confront you for it though, as if he hasn't realised you're practically running away from his oh so noble existence the whole day?

"How did you know I was faking it?"

"Well, you just confirmed it." Damn him "But also, you're a terrible liar."

"The hell I'm not!" Your voice is growing steadily louder and if he steals any more time from your life to kindly piss you off with stupid, pointless accusations, the whole palace will hear your rage.

"Well, for a princess, your acting was awful, sorry to break it to you." His eyebrow arches mockingly, a grin pulling across his lips to reveal the breathtaking grace of pearly teeth and for a second you think how this is the first time he's ever shown you his smile; as much as you hate to admit it, the entire room just got a little brighter and your head feels a little lighter, a little drowsy...

And it miraculously only appears while he is making fun you. How fitting.

"I grew up in royalty. Do you know how good of an actress one must be to pretend they're not bored out of their mind when dancing with princes who's name they don't even remember?" At this point, you're close enough to kick him straight where he deserves for being such a jerk and the air buzzes heavily with the electricity of every tense emotion radiating off of you.

Jaehyun only drops his gaze to the leather shoes he sports, a chuckle escaping him in the process and if you didn't hate his guts so much, it would've made your heart skip a beat or two at how gentle and beautiful the sound is. "Is that so?"

The prince comes to stand just a breath away from you, minimizing the distance with his eyes rising to render you helpless under their dark pits where a lone spark of mischief shines. "Did you feel the same way on our first dance?"

Did he seriously bring that up?

The smugness on his smirk solely grows, he's teasing...

At the reference of the very first night he laid eyes on you, the most obvious shade of red tints your cheeks as you stand frozen, mouth slightly agape in search of an appropriate answer. He managed to leave you speechless, a river of memories from that ball flowing into your mind ceaselessly and after a moment of silence, it strikes you how you are embarrassed yet again in his presence. No man has ever made you blush three times in a day.

Damn. Him.

"Either way, you might need to learn to lie a little better if you want to stand by my side like a true queen one day."

The words slice through your chest harder than a sword as Jaehyun carelessly backs up towards the door, after just having insulted your dignity and simultaneously rubbed this stupid arranged marriage at your face.

It doesn't surprise you anymore how you long so intensely to grab the closest heavy object and throw it straight at him to wipe that sinister smirk off of his face once and for all. He has surpassed the level of patience you're willing to have with him.

How dare he?

"I don't want to stand by your side like anything!" You shout, startling him as the suppressed anger finally bursts and he halts in place, still like a boulder.

He didn't see it coming.

The faintest trace of shock is written across his face in narrow eyes and a parted mouth, the one emotion he doesn't manage to mask all that well.

You're waiting for him to yell back, scold you and degrade you even more for mouthing such a thing, openly showing your disagreement towards marrying him. You're waiting for bad consequences to come, seeing his lips slightly quiver when he tilts his head.

If he meant to say something, you will never know, as Jaehyun spares you one last glance that hides a mixture of anger, disappointment and something else you can't quite define before reaching for the handle. He leaves you in a deafening silence, interrupting it only by banging the door closed with force and you're alone, at last.

Only that now sleep won't seek out for your eyelids so easily, his words tormenting your mind like restless spirits, a bitter echo to remind you how cold the prince truly is, after all.

//

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