#like. i was a MESS after night watch dude how DARE you terry how very DARE YOU

[p4nishers]

"but young sam was watching him, across thirty years"

i genuinely can't explain what that line did to my brain chemistry but it fucked it up GOOD. like. imagine IMAGINE going back in time and meeting ur younger self who is naive and eager and so so painfully young and trying to teach yourself at least SOMETHING of what you've learnt from your father figure. and now YOU'RE your father figure. vimes spent the WHOLE BOOK trying to control the "beast" and do the right thing and he controlled it for HIMSELF in the end. because there are some things you owe yourself and your inner child is watching you always and young sam was watching him across thirty years and and and and. ive been having a panic attack for a whole hour if anyone was wondering