#like.....i dunno its hard to explain | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sensitivegoblin · 8 months ago

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Gender vent

Its mostly just silly dumb feelings

#merp #im not a tgirl or a tboy but those are the post i find representation in #like.....i dunno its hard to explain #i wish i could go on T but i HATE facial hair #also coming out as genderqueer might kill my dad😭#he keeps saying things like “heh well youre done coming out i pretty much know you” and he said those kinda jokes right before i came out #came out the first time #..#.....sometimes i see a pink n blue n white sky and wonder if God is sending me another rainbow sign #but also ive been dead wrong about signs from God so i dunno at this point😭#maybe a tattoo will heal me sggdsff🤣🤣🤣🤣

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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 3 months ago

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Aroace Sonic pt 14

If you know you know

#KNOX ART (me)#Sonic the Hedgehog #Aroace Sonic #Rouge the Bat #Shadow the Hedgehog #if shadow wanted him to move hed kick him #anyway this one really is hard to articulate just a slight overwhelm when things that were once okay dont feel as okay suddenly #when things dont feel like y o u #i like flirty rouge. i also like rouge who spots stuff #i like a rouge who somtimes is to sonic what sonic is to other people #they are the most chill with physical contact but sometimes stuff just doesnt hit nuetral #sonic be whelmed as they say #if it wasnt clear hes lying about the tails thing #its okay if what you feel okay with changes sometimes #rouge likes to say hello with cheek kisses and sonic is usually very chill with it!#maybe its just been a long day of too much romantic leaning stuff and he needs a break and didnt realize it #he was as surprised as rouge #i dunno jumbled thoughts but thats enough explaining for now breakdances away #if its confusing i apologize :') its a very spicific experince i think

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lohstandfound · 10 months ago

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hm.... exploring jake as nonbinary/agender who very much performs the act of masculinity because that is what is expected of him and coming to terms that he doesn't have to be, maybe he doesn't have to force himself into that mould

#lohst.txt #bmc #be more chill #jake dillinger #something something masculinity is a chore and its so hard to perform all the time #something something what is expected of him vs what he wants #something something everything he does is a performance he doesn't know where he ends and his persona begins #hi hey anyway i was reminded how much i liked that concept while going through old posts from like 2017/2018 on this blog #art and posts about jake being non binary or agender #also lowkey inspired by me being more comfortable expressing/performing femininity after coming to terms with being non binary #something about it being a choice to present that way rather than feeling forced #i dunno how to explain it #its weird #its lowkey projecting onto fictional characters again #there's probably a better way for me to actually articulate what i mean #with jake being. like. the definition of masculinity #the goal of what jeremy and rich's squips want them to aspire to be like. yknow?#but everything he does is what he feels like everyone expects him to do #he's supposed to be perfect #but what he's supposed to be does not align with what he wants #anyway. this has been another edition of lara's late night rambles

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fluffyblackdragon · 2 months ago

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funny bread i made at work that led to me startling people with the fact that yes, I am in fact capable of speech and not completely mute

#i made a joke to my supervisor that its a sailor moon bread #however she doesnt watch anime #i had to explain not only the appeal of anime #but i went on an autism tangent abt animation in general #she seemed weirded out bc I have rarely spoken since I started aside from asking for clarification on some steps for prep #nonverbal as hell local idiot suddenly yapping away #i dunno #maybe i should talk more often #but I dont like talking and i have nothing to say 99% of the time #the other trainee thought I was just mute until today #i am overthinking this #ik i am #but its hard to connect with people when you just. dont have words to share with them.#i lock in and focus on learning my job to get it done and im learning quickly #im just bad at the social aspect of work #lowkey hate myself for it #i wish i was more talktive but im just not.

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angels--twice--descending · 2 months ago

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does anyone else ever feel like they need to do everything at once becuase theyre running out of time???

#i feel like i Need to watch all tv shows and movies ever because i need to know #and i have this big itch to also consume anything thats Older. from an older time period specifically the 2000s like #rghjdfjrkjr #energy #i also feel like i should be playing all my video games ever and i should be making money and i should be making art #and so on and so forth #and all the hwile i have this feeling like im goign to die not literally not like a panic attack kind of gonna die but like???#its so hard to explain ive never really tried but #its like #grief and doom and despair and like #its all futile & pointless & also i cant see the future anymore #like i just feel like im goign to freeze one day and never move forwards if that makes sesne?#like? a liminal space like ill be trapped in a grocery store with bright lights forever and ever #or an airport or someplace dark and lonely #its the Vibes do you see? its the Feeling of those places #its like endless fields of farm and road and sky so basically like idaho or something #its like my life will movei n slow motion and grey adnd rainy and everyone else will race ahead (this is my least favourite life #(the one where i stand and you fly!)#and ill always always always be alone! ill be. alone in my room in my bed and sad #its like a time loop its like ? being hungry and its like 3am and its like being in a group of people and alone anyways #its like laying in bed for ever and ever and you feel so very tired even though you havent done anything #its like a slow panic real slow and creeping its the world burning its #dvds and cds and records nintendo 64s and everything old is gone and everything new is bad? its what about the old days not the attitudes #but the general. Times. the simplicity even #it was bad but it was also better and i dunno i just?#does anyone else get it #???????#delete later #talk

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absolutelyzoned · 11 months ago

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anyone else have this problem where its so hard to get attached to people and you feel like everyone is actually lying about liking you or just doesnt care . like,. i dont know how to explain it without sounding like a dick but i just. cant make myself like people

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from-stars-to-shadows · 3 months ago

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.....hm

#Feeling that detachment from reality again. like I'm floating. like yeah I'm here but I'm not me. I'm just viewing myself as if it was #something on a tv screen. I feel off. like am I actually here here? or is this something else?#I don’t like this feeling because I find it hard to connect and feel close to not just friends but also my partners and I hate that feeling.#I don't like feeling like I'm...i dunno not here? but i am here? but ....ugh It's so hard to explain #I just feel this from time to time and I dunno what to call it. everything feels fake like reality isnt reality but im here so it must be?#so why then do I not feel real?#best way to describe it...I feel like im in someone else's life. its not mine(?)#vent.tw

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amongdestiny-qu33n · 1 year ago

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Tf you saying "I'm gonna regret this" about saying happy holiday to people.

Ok.

so.

There was a problem in Israel a while ago and I get scared when wars happen so I hesitated to post it. Cuz I’m afraid people were on the side of the Mafia and…Yeah….I know it’s rude to say what I said but i get scared I’ll start conflict.

So im begging

Please don’t hate me-

😔

#It’s like a fear I have #So I try to avoid things like that #blabbering #mention #Ask #I don’t mean to be rude I just got scared and kinda regretted it?#I dunno #its hard to explain so I gave the best explanation I could

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phagodyke · 10 months ago

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anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

#theres a guy at work whos incredibly annoying for it but tbh hes bad at his job in general anyway n everyones annoyed at him all the time #so at least i get some solidarity from my other coworkers (who are generally rly accommodating of my deafness)#i dunno how he hasnt got the memo ive explained im deaf so he needs to face me n make sure he has my attention n enunciate multiple times #but nope still not getting thru to him! so half the time if he starts mumbling i just pointedly ignore him until he either speaks more #clearly or goes away lmao #and same with a friend of a friend im sure hes a nice guy and everyone else seems to like him n hes in our main discord server so i cant #avoid him as easily and ive been so tolerant of it but hes worn thru my patience entirely and idc abt trying to be nice anymore #if he comes on call and starts mumbling and sidelining me from the conversation i just put him on mute im not dealing with that anymore #i dont fucking care if its petty and rude to do that. im tired of trying to understand him and dealing with how left out he makes me feel #i hope he picks up on the hostility n feels unwanted so maybe then he'll understand what its like for me and fix his behaviour 👍#bc i have no other way of communicating that with him anymore. since I CANT FUCKING HEAR HIM!!!!!#he also has a lot of other annoying behaviour which is fine but this is my limit its so disrespectful and outside of my control #make space for my disability or go away forever #not sure if we could even be friends if he did change now bc hes soured my impression of him so much by this point.#sad! well theres other guys #im glad everyone ive met at climbing so far has been pretty good abt it. really not that hard to do!#anyway rant over lol. at least the guy at work is only on a temp contract so only have to deal w him for a few more months #unfortunately since the rest of that group is friends w this other guy he'll prolly be around longer. but oh well lmao #just crossing my fingers he'll drift away n never open discord again so ill never have to deal w his shitty crackly mic mumbling #or maybe he'll stop fucking calling from whatever wind tunnel hes in and properly join in on our movie nights instead!!!!!#it is sad bc i think he has similar music taste to me. there are def some things we have in common that could form a basis for friendship #but hes gone n ruined it innit #aaaanyway oops started complaining again... the bitch grind never ends #im gonna shower n go back to elden ringing it.... fare thee well #.diaries

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beast-of-mosss · 2 years ago

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Huh, looking through this one tag explains a lot about me

#its just like huh oh wow #that explains a lot #esp with my more issues #dunno how i feel about it because #its hard to say it

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vinylpirre · 1 year ago

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it sometimes feel wrong that ive got so many original ideas for original things but the omly thing i draw is pvz. i even sometimes feel so ashamed of the fact its my hyperfixation

#glitz speaks #like. i dunno its so hard to explain it. i got original stuff in my mind too. loads of it. but god that stupid dead game takes my brain #vent kind of

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mads-aka-mirror · 2 years ago

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Good Omens 2 is incomplete (that's okay). It's incomplete in the way a second book in a trilogy is incomplete. It's designed to leave you wanting. People aren't satisfied with the ending of Good Omens 2 because, unlike Good Omens 1, this is designed to be built upon more. I really wish people would stop talking about Aziraphale and Crowley like this was the end of their stories. It's not.

#i don't even know if i wanna keep this up #i feel like they're subverting a lot of romantic tropes to make a statement about personal identity #i wish people would look past the lack of a romantic ending and focus on what they're actually setting up #both for Aziracrow and Maggie/Nina #or if we don't get Maggie/Nina in s3 focusing on how their positions are supposed to mirror where Aziracrow are at rn #i dont know some of the theories rn feel like theyre trying so hard to like #take nothing at all at face value #i dunno how to explain it #its like if nothing's real then none of this matters and we can get our happy ending but this all matters #and id be disappointed if none of this mattered #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers

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faetealights · 1 month ago

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its vv rare do i fucking get the "unreachable amd unanswerable dealer" trope but i am . my eye is twitcging

#BRO WHAT ARE U DOING.#u said '20mins' at 10:30 it is 1am i .#shut up no one say a word im in the deoths of my own fucking torment rn i dont wanna be SOBER rn .#abt to whip out the vlender make fucking . daiquris or wtv its spelt .#bc i have alcohol ! and frozen fruot ! and a desire to not Feel rn ! its not even that im so numb to all of this now #like thes a level of detachment to this emotion. bc i dont wanna deal with this Actually so im side baring it in a seethriugh woven box #bc wtc it is is seeping fromcthe box into my blood !!!!!!!#being psotive is hard okay. rewirinf rhis fucktruck 9f a brsin i was givwn is HARD . esp when it comes to this fucking situstion and my self #qorth in love like idont . wanna Feel and i wanna get High to feel .#if i dont have a response by 2am i am giving up and going to bed atp. if i cant get high i will sleep #and dream of this fucker instead of thinling abt him bc it doesnt MATTER.#im half convinced we are actually cinversing jn the dream realm. vc i have an inkling this fucler can astroproject / dream travel #whether ue knows it or not ! dunno ! but theres SEVERAL DREAMS the last few weeks that have .#idk how to explain it .ive woken ul half expecting to see a conversation on my phone or . something w the way it feels #and its not in a 'ohhh were back tgth' no its 'oh some shir was said incthe dream scape that needed to be said but xiuldnt be said'#like im not allowrd to contact him. not that i WANT TO anyway. bc whay can i say. i dont know anything for certain. i cant .#put my own fucking cards on the tBlw yhat is reoestinf the past pattern with a Fat Check. i cant do Anything but cope with this #and the divine has me in a honey pot :) like u fuckers are Insane #i can feel and see them just . holding this (weed. him wtv idc) for my own good :)) bc i cant go back to old patterns :))#ajd smokign weed to cope w my emotions IS not good for me. even if it does help it . os a crutch.#its not bad Every So Often but . anyway my throat feels itchy and this now feels . fucking divine too what do u want me to do here #what am i supposed to do here.#i forget . so mych of my hwaling is more just Admitting shit to nyself than actually acting. like .#im cpnatsntly trying to be Good to people and . stixk by myself without throwing my ass under a bus #and without beong a heartless bitch. abd this doesnt matter #bc everyones got their own projections and i am not perfeft eitherway but .#fuck man. let me do this high #i sgould just sleep or . wash my dishes ir Something eye .#icdont wanna do anythibg lol i am Miserable #im not . iam not entirely happy w my job. but idk if thats bc its lulling out or if its a gwnuine disinterest in this career choice.

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k1rbyl0v3r · 8 months ago

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can someone give me tips on how the hell I made a Fey-fey or Felicia bot??? I dunno how to explain them 😭 yes I know they are my characters but I dunno how to explain how they look like and stuff Soo I need help 😭

#its hard #because how do I explain a tiger girl that's probably insane?#and a tiger women who has one sided beef with sandy (@kitshers OC also the one sided beef is a joke btw)#like how do I explain that???#PLS HELP I DUNNO HOW TO

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chimerabytes · 2 years ago

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Why is being social so damn sucks. Even on the internet. This was supposed to make things easier!!

Even though I hardly interact with anyone, I do appreciate the presence y'all have on my dash. I just, like, I dunno. I try to share others art and leave nice comments. But I am not great at interacting beyond that & I dont blame anyone for feeling miffed about that

#At this point not sharing many interests is not the main problem #Its just that like. I dunno. Its very hard for me to explain #Ive never been good at being social and its a mix of problems #original posts

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jeannettearroyo · 6 months ago

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I dunno man I find it hard to critique without it coming off as like, "annoying fandom shipping brain" but it's painfully clear that early in s3 of shadows they were canonically writing that Guillermo had feelings for Nandor (how do you explain his sudden departure from him talking to Meg when she mentioned he had feelings? His jealousy of Gail? All while Nandor was explicitly seeking a romantic partner and becoming tired of being alone and being a vampire?)

I don't understand why people insist on having some semantics argument about whether it's definitionally queerbaiting or not if the characters are queer when the show itself took advantage of the growing interest around a potential romance between the two characters and then did not resolve it or address it in any way.

It seems clearer to me that the show took a sharp heel turn in season 4 and decided only at that point that actually nothing matters or changes and the characters will always be stagnant which is not only boring TV but also explicitly wasn't true. The characters had been consistently changing and evolving up to that point. There was never some deep and complex storyline but there were still overarching narratives that had impact.

I know shadows isn't a deeply serious show but it was well balanced between its comedy and character writing and sparse occasional sweet moments. All completely thrown out so Paul Simms could write more shitting/farting/pee jokes.

Sorry for not shutting up about it ha. I already didn't like the show anymore while in season 4 but the finale just makes me mad about it again.

#Wwdits #What we do in the shadows

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