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eureka-its-zico · 3 years

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Damage

Request: You meet JB in a bar and have a one-night stand

A/N: My friend has asked me for JB fics none stop. I haven’t been able to finish one, because I get stuck in my head and think everything is trash. I think this one is okay, at best. I’ve edited as much as my eyes can stand. Either way, she seemed to enjoy it. I hope you all enjoy it in some way too. Much Love, Jenn

p.s. It’s named Damage because I literally had the song of the same name from H.E.R playing on repeat the entire time.

Jaebum X Reader

Genre: SmUt

Words:5534

Warnings: semi-public sex, rough play, some ass-slaping - you get the picture -

There was a time that the idea of sleeping with a complete stranger from a bar would’ve never crossed your mind. It wasn’t that you were a prude. A part of you secretly wanted to know what it felt like to be so overwhelmed by another that they made you less cautious and more adventurous. No one ever seemed able to stir that emotion in you, however.

Until you’d met JB.

Now, as his fingers traced across your skin, his lips kissed at the hollow of your neck, you couldn’t imagine an alternate universe where you didn’t say yes. Where you weren’t pressed into the backseat of a stuffy cab not caring that you had an audience while JB’s hand made its way between your thighs. His mouth hungrily lapping up your moan as his fingers slid under the edge of your panties.

A part of you should’ve felt embarrassed. You were passengers in this cab. The obvious audience of the older man up front would’ve normally made you shove his hand away with your cheeks pink; pretending to care if they watched.

But JB was a force you weren’t used to. One that threatened to consume you and god, did you want to be consumed.

EARLIER

————————-

“Come on, Y/N. You can’t be sad forever about that asshole.”

Your fingers skimmed the paper of your beer smearing an image of a heart in the condensation. Your teeth drawing in your bottom lip as you thought about what your friend was saying. Of course, she was right. It was two weeks, give or take, since you broke up with Mark. You’d had your days of wallowing, eating copious amounts of ice cream, and crying on the couch watching rom-coms and asking why can’t your life be like this?

There wasn’t any doubt your ex wasn’t off doing the same. Hell, he’d made sure to take pictures of his latest escapades and made sure to share it to his social media. Not that you were looking at any of it or anything.

“You’re right,” you huffed out in defeat.

Why was it so hard to let him go? It wasn’t like he’d had such a hard time deciding to end your relationship.

“I’m sorry. What was that? Can you say it a little louder for me please I’m hard of hearing.”

You shot her a look of disbelief that sent her head falling back with laughter.

“This one time you might be a little bit right.”

You took a swig of your drink to hide your own smile.

“Plus, how can you be sad over that loser when the hottest dude is five feet away.”

You followed her eyes to see what had her making such a bold claim. There were plenty of good looking men and women in the bar. How could one person possibly hold the title when your opinion could be different?

It wasn’t.

You found him easily. No longer needing the guide of your friend to find who it was that’d caught her attention. And sweet Jesus he was hands down the best looking in the room.

He was leaning up against the wall. His eyes half crescent moons as he smiled. One hand holding a beer that was close to his lips as he replied back to whatever his friend said. You shamelessly watched how his lips wrapped around the bottle to take a drink. The sharpness of his jaw and the expanse of his neck.

You wanted to know what he looked like with his mouth on you and tasting the sweetness between your thighs.

The desire for it caused your legs to squeeze together to give yourself any sort of friction. Your mind still going over the fantasy you were creating with him in the starring role. Suddenly, he was looking back at you. A harsh blush rose to your cheeks at being caught but refused to look away.

God! What am I doing?!

You’ve never been the one to make the first move. Of any kind. Eye contact felt like a first move of showing interest, but you were more than interested and a part of you wondered if he could see it. See that even this far between your spaces in the bar how badly you wanted to know how he tasted.

A gasp brought your attention back to the position of your friend. Her mouth agape in shock but that threatened to spill into a smile at any moment.

“Hollleeeeey shit! Did you just give that guy ‘fuck me eyes’ from across the bar?”

You scoffed at the idea before shooting a cautionary look back in his direction. Using your elbows that were on the top of the bar you swiveled yourself to face the many rows of liquor. Fighting the urge to look back at him again or acknowledge your friend bouncing in her seat.

“Yes you fuckin did!”

Your reply was a quick swig of your drink as you tried your best not to grimace at the taste. You’d been babysitting it too long and now it was lukewarm.

“I've had my heart broken. I’m not dead,” you replied.

“Let’s go over and talk to them!”

Your head whipped in her direction so fast you swore you’d ended up with whiplash. Yes, you were looking. And yes, this man did provoke unholy fantasies, but that didn’t mean you were ready to be that close.

“You’re joking.”

“Nope. I think this will be good for you.”

She ignored your burst of panic and waved down the bartender who acknowledged her sooner than you would’ve liked.

“What can I get you ladies.”

“Two shots of tequila, please.”

“What are you doing?”

She wiggled her brows at you and rubbed her shoulder up against yours. Her weak attempt to pump you up with excitement for whatever diabolical thing she’d planned.

“Just a little liquid courage before we head on over.”

“Heading towards the door, you mean.”

Your words came out as a grumble. A pout setting in as the bartender set down the small glasses in front of the two of you. Which she quickly slid hers to click beside yours.

“You, my lovely friend, are going to have both.”

“Are you trying to give me alcohol poisoning?”

“Nope. Just trying to help you get some guiltless sex with a stranger.”

“Wow. You’re so amazing,” you deadpanned. Your hand snacking out to grab one of the shot glasses downing the first one. You were sure the reaction you were having looked like a cartoon character. God, this stuff was disgusting. “I’m pretty sure that stuff causes forest fires.”

The bartender offered you a lemon, amusement flashing in his eyes. You were hoping he could see the thank you in yours with your mouth shoved full of lemon.

You left it sitting in your mouth; teeth clenched tight against the softness and the peel exposed between your lips. You wondered if this was picture worthy and received your answer moments later when your friends’ camera flashed in your face. Your vision erupting in sparks of dark spots that left you unable to see.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

With the peel still held between your lips you made a face at her. Her mouth opened to reply, and suddenly it closed. Her eyes wide and darting from you to whoever was now perched beside you.

You remembered you still had a shot left and decided it was time to meet your fate. Your legs moved to turn you to sit straight on the stool when you realized someone was beside you at the bar. In perfect horror movie fashion, you glanced at your right and saw the man who’d caused your need for liquid courage.

He was just there. His body casually leaning against the bar with an air of coolness that didn’t seem forced. He was talking with the bartender. The two of them locked in a conversation like they were old friends and catching up. Maybe they were.

Up close he was even more striking. His hair was perfectly slicked back to make it appear short, but it was anything but. The gel he’d used was beginning to wear off and displayed hair that was beginning to fall into his eyes.

You wanted to run your hands through it. To grip it as you rode his tongue.

It felt like he must have had a sensation of what you were thinking. He ended his conversation and turned to look at you. A spark of laughter lit up the dark brown of his eyes and you swore you were swooning in your chair.

“I see you must really like lemons.”

Your brow furrowed as you wondered what the hell he could be talking about. He must have caught on to your confusion and patted a single digit against the lemon peel still peaking like a smile between your lips. Your eyes shot wide with horror as you not too gracefully spit it out onto the napkin.

“Oh...my...god,” you whispered at the wood of the bar. Praying that the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

“Hi!” Your friend shot an arm over you with her hand extended for him to shake. “My name’s Vanessa. This is my lovely friend, Y/N. The lemon sucker.”

Your head jerked in her direction and you hoped she could see how much you wish you could hit her.

The man beside you, however, looked nothing but amused and took Vanessa’s hand. You couldn’t keep your eyes from looking at his fingers; the way it practically covered all of hers.

“Nice to meet you both.”

He released her hand and shocked you by leaving his hand open and waiting for you to take. You glanced up at him and then back down to his hand. You took it without waiting too long, because you didn’t want him to think you were rude, or worse, weirder than he probably already did. The minute your hands folded around the other you swore it was electric.

“My name’s Jaebum. Everyone calls me JB, for short.”

Jaebum. JB. You would call him whatever he wanted. His voice was soft as he spoke and forced you to move closer to hear him. You wondered if that’d been his plan. It was the only thing you could think of as his thumb caressed over the knuckles of your hand before he took it away.

You dropped your hand down to the side of your skirt and fought not to rub it against the fabric. The attraction you felt for JB was something that’d come unexpected and you found yourself inexperienced. It felt overwhelming this need to touch him. To be touched in return. To know how he sounded with your lips wrapped around his cock and those same hands on the back of your head. Bending you over and smacking your ass until it was cherry red.

You were still staring at each other as these devilish thoughts played out in your head. His eyes roamed your face and you wondered what he saw there. If JB could see the dirty scenarios he held the starring role in. His gaze slid over you from the tips of your toes, over the exposed legs from your skirt, your chest, and back up to your face.

There was no denying he’d thought of his own scenario with you in mind. His pupils fully blown with lust when he brought his eyes back up to you. Your pulse thudded wildly as you struggled to remember how to properly breathe.

“Did you girls want to come back over to our table?” The question was meant for both Vanessa and you, but when he asked his gaze never left you. He only looked away to point to his indicated spot. “It’s just me and a couple of my friends. I promise, we aren’t weird or anything.”

A bright smile spread across his lips and if you weren’t swooning earlier, you were definitely doing it now. You were nodding your head yes, unsure if you could trust yourself to talk. Vanessa, unfortunately, didn’t seem to have that issue.

“That would be amazing and so good for her. Her boyfriend just broke up with her. She’s very vulnerable.”

Oh. My. God. Was she winking like an idiot?

You looked back at her and couldn’t keep the horror off of her face. Luckily, JB laughed it off. He reached out to grab the drinks he’d ordered and motioned with his head for you girls to follow. You waited for Vanessa to start forward before you fell into step beside her. Your arm shooting out to wrap itself around hers just so you could use it to pull her in tight.

“What in the hell was that!?”

“I’m trying to help you here. Most men love the idea of a girl on the rebound.”

“Because they think they’re easy, Nessa.”

“Precisely.”

She flicked her finger up like she’d just made a great discovery. The only thing she was about to discover was that you were, in fact, desperate but for a whole other reason.

No part of you could remember your ex looking at JB. And while the idea of any sort of relationship with him, physical or otherwise, made you excited there was still that small voice in your head. The not so fun responsible part of you reminded you that you didn’t know him. He could be a weird pervert or a serial killer. Ninety-nine percent of serial killers were usually attractive.

You let out a sigh not sure how to tell her nicely to butt out.

“Just, help me less. Ok?”

She regarded you for a moment. Her arm peeling itself out of yours before bringing you in quickly for a one-armed hug.

“Alright. Girl Scouts honor I won’t say anything else.”

“Thank you!”

And you meant it. Lord knew she only meant well, but in the end it came off embarrassing. Like the two of you were sixteen and in high school again. With you passing notes to all the boys you liked because you were too damn nervous to say anything to their face. You thought it was romantic. In reality, it just seemed well, kinda awkward.

The two of you stood beside the pool table and you did your best not to fidget with your bag. The weight of six new sets of eyes made you feel like an animal in a zoo.

“Guys, this is Vanessa and Y/N. I invited them over to hang out with us. If that’s cool.”

The friends all seemed to go from caution to excitement at seeing you in two point five seconds. All of them agreeing it was cool, and waving you all over to find a chair to sit in.

You were following Vanessa to seats in between two of his friends, when a soft hand on your arm stopped you. You knew without looking it was JB. Your body reacting instantly to his touch as if it’d been set on fire.

“You can sit next to me. If you’d like.”

“I’d like that very much.”

Your voice was breathy. Like you were telling him a secret the two of you only needed to hear. The chair in question that sat beside his own, was inches from him. So close that when you sat down your knees were next one another.

He regarded you briefly before he turned his attention back to his group. His arm snaking around your chair to rest on its back. You were aware that it was a show of dominance. Of signaling to his friends and anyone else who cared to look that you were his. The thought of it sent a thrill through your body of being claimed. Only wishing he would claim you another way too.

JB’s group of friends were fun and easy to get a long with. One of them in particular, Hyun-Bae, was incredibly funny. He told stories that were entertaining and knew when to use his humor to make everyone laugh. It was enough to make you almost forget the man beside you. Almost.

You weren’t sure when it had happened, but somewhere between everyone talking, JB’s hand that’d rested comfortably on the back of your chair had moved. His fingers brushed along your skin from your shoulder to collarbone. Each stroke deliberate; sexual and not. Like he could read that you found it comforting but also craved his touch.

You ached with the urge to kiss him. To taste the liquor on his tongue. All those times you turned to imagine yourself leaning in and doing just that, you’d met his gaze. The two of you shared a look of knowing and wondered if he’d just been waiting for you to close the last inches of space between you. You were looking at each other now; eyes hungrily glancing at the others lips.

You wanted to be brave. To just close that space and tell him just to take you home. Screw this dance of cat and mouse. You didn’t want to be chased. You wanted to be owned.

Instead, a soft, “Excuse me,” came from you as you rose up from your chair. You couldn’t get your feet to walk fast enough to the bathroom. You were moving so fast you practically took someone out on the way inside. Getting inside the bathroom, you quickly shut the door and turned the lock.

You were instantly greeted by your reflection in the dirty, marker-ridden, mirror. What you could see of yourself was defeated. A huff of frustration left you as you removed your bag from your shoulder and placed it on the hook on the back of the door. Your feet scuffing the ground as you took a somber approach to the sink.

You told Vanessa you could do this. You didn’t need help to tell a hot guy you wanted him to fuck you until your legs were far past jello and more like liquid. And every time you were given the opportunity to do something at all, you backed out.

You rested your hands on the sink and leaned in. Examining your makeup and how very un-messy it was.

“Note to self: just fuckin do it.”

Yup. The greatest of pep talks.

You weren’t ready to leave the sanctity of the bathroom but a knock sounded on the door. Reminding you very quickly that there were actual people who probably needed to use it. You moved to pick up your bag when another knock came.

“Yea, yea I’m coming. Chill.”

When you opened the door, however, JB was just there. His body pushing into the bathroom causing you to step back to give him room. He closed the door without looking back. His body fully facing you as the door clicked closed behind him.

“JB? Sorry I was just using the restroom-”

“Is that what that was? I mostly heard talking; no flushing.”

His lips spread in an amused smile no doubt at your expense. Your eyes were probably as white as the moon. How long had he been waiting out here?

“Sorry. I just got a little impatient waiting for you.”

In one fluid motion, his arm snaked around your back, and brought you to his chest. JB was prepared for you and his other hand was already holding your face giving him the perfect leverage to crash his mouth down on yours. The moment your lips met that electricity you’d felt earlier flared back to life. This time, it flared across your skin and sparked in every spot he touched.

The kiss started out a brush of lips and soon became more. His tongue danced at the edge of your bottom lip and you gladly opened up to him. Your hands plunging to make a mess of his perfectly gelled hair at the same time his tongue slipped inside your mouth.

You were eager to respond. Eager to caress his tongue with yours. His mouth tasted of the bittersweet liquor he’d sipped on for the last hour. Suddenly, the overwhelming urge to taste yourself on his lips made your body ache to be touched in other places. For your fantasies of his mouth on you to begin here. You didn’t care where.

JB seemed to understand what you needed. He broke from the kiss fast and turned you around. His body pressed against your back and his hands at the edge of your skirt. You watched in the mirror as he moved your skirt up to your hips exposing your thong to the room.

He watched you, his lips hovering over your ear before giving it a playful nip, and those same hands were now laced in the strings. JB moved back just enough to squat down so his hands could move them down your legs until he reached your ankles.

“Step out.”

You followed his command without question. Your head tilting back to watch the little bit of cloth he held in his hand get scrunched up even smaller and placed inside the front pocket of his jeans. His eyes looked up to meet yours, and your body froze with anticipation. Whatever he would ask you to do, you knew you would comply.

“Spread your legs.”

The demand in his voice was feverish. His own need on display as his hand caressed up your calf until it was between your thighs. A finger teasingly moved across your opening, causing a soft gasp to exit from your lips. You did as you were instructed and waited until you heard an approving, “Hm,” from his lips.

The room swelled as the anticipation grew. The reflection you’d seen moments ago was washed away and the woman who’d taken her place was eager and ready to offer up her own demands.

JB moved to stand on his feet with his hands traveling along the curve of your legs and up onto your hips. There his fingers dug into the soft flesh as he leaned into your back, his eyes on yours in the mirror, as he spoke into your ear, “Place your hands on the sink.”

“Spank me first.”

A shiver of shock ran through you. You couldn’t believe you’d said it, but after your request had left you, you’d refused to take it back. Your body craved to be reprimanded by his hands and the smirk on his lips told you plainly he was more than happy to oblige.

“Beg for it.”

“Please spank me. Please, JB.”

His hand curled up to wrap around your throat as his index finger danced at the edge of your lips.

“How bad do you want it?”

“I want I-“

The smack reverberated like thunder in the small room. The sting was instant and beautiful. The heat between your legs was aching and your ass jetted against his jeans for any kind of friction. JB stepped back, denying you any form of relief, and landed another smack on your exposed cheek.

This one made your knees wobble as the pleasure rolled through you. Your hands on the sink was the only thing that saved you from showing him what he’d done.

“You love that don’t you?”

JB already knew you did, but he wanted to hear you. He needed to hear you say how much you loved feeling his hand leaving its mark, red and angry, on your skin.

“Yes,” you gasped. “It feels so good.”

He landed another smack and you couldn’t keep yourself quiet anymore. Your moan loud and aching like your pussy. Luckily, his hand was still on your throat and silenced you by placing his fingers in your mouth. You sucked on them immediately and this time you could feel JB rut against your ass. The hardness of his cock pressed against the fabric of his jeans gave away just how turned on he was at your bathroom escapades.

He pulled his fingers free from your mouth and, with the same fingers, slick and wet, placed it between your legs. The two digits moving to slide between your folds. First, scissoring around your clit; caressing the delicate bud until you gave him the moan he worked for.

When the soft sound left you JB slid them deep inside you causing the noise to become louder. A shudder ran through your body as you backed up into him.

His fingers removed themselves suddenly, and you couldn’t keep the disappointment from escaping you. A whine you were sure sounded like you were close to tears. JB gave your ass another smack and all it did was drive the need inside you closer to madness.

His hands planted themselves onto your ass and you felt him kneel down. Those two strategically placed hands lifting up the flesh there leaving your pussy exposed and aching in his view. Your hands were gripping the porcelain of the sink so tight you’d thought it’d crack. Your body trembling in anticipation of what he might do and the need to cover yourself up playing tug-of-war in your head.

The idea of any sort of hiding vanished when his mouth planted itself between your legs. His tongue snaking out to flick across your clit made you back up to greet his mouth. JB quickly took that moment to slide his tongue from clit to ass. The sensation was so foreign and new to you, you weren’t sure if you should be embarrassed, but the pleasure you got quickly washed the thought away.

JB gave you no time to pull yourself together. His face was back between your legs with an eager tongue to lick up every last drop. His tongue swirled around your clit and sent light flicks when you were least expecting it. Each time your legs threatened to crumble, but JB held you there with steady hands.

His tongue explored you thoroughly and put to his memory what made your knees weak. What caused a soft mulling sound of need to claw up from your throat. And what caused your grip on the sink to become almost violent.

Between each languid lick his tongue would find itself taking long strides all the way up and back down to your peak. Your body had now grown accustomed to the new sensation, and you welcomed it greedily as you pushed back against his face.

When JB knew you were so close to your sweet release he focused his tongue more on your swollen bud. Each new caress of his tongue gradually made it harder for your arms to hold you up. For your legs to keep from shaking uncontrollably.

Your orgasm continued to grow; blossoming between your folds with an ache that your body felt. You were so, so close and with a final thrust of his tongue you felt your world spin and that sweet heat between your legs finally sent shockwaves all over your body.

You came moaning so loud anyone else would’ve thought you were screaming. Your head thrown back and riding the sensation of his greedy mouth taking everything you had to offer.

When his lips finally released from you, your body was still coming down from your orgasm. The loud panting that came from you as you leaned against the sink completely spent. You watched in the mirror as he pulled a golden foil packet from his pocket. His eyes sinfully watching you as he ripped it carefully with his teeth. JB’s finger moved quickly to take out the slick rubber from the packet and begin to work it down his shaft.

You’d been so consumed with recovering from his tongue that you hadn’t realized when he’d taken his cock out of his jeans that were now shameless at his ankles. He put a few fingers inside your wetness that caused you to gasp. Your body was still recovering from what had just taken place.

He used your cum to lubricate himself and placed himself at your entrance. Already the tip of him stretching you out with the delicious sting that told you he was thick. You couldn’t wait.

You moved to push back into him to help him inside and he pulled away. His hand smacking down on your ass making you even more eager.

“Patience is a virtue.”

He tried to be funny, but his voice was deep and throaty with his own lust. You were close to pleading with him again like before, but he let it be known quickly he had no intentions to wait.

JB slid inside you and you felt your pussy stretch to accommodate him. The feel of him making your breath catch. His girth much thicker than you’d imagined, and your body shook from the pleasure of feeling yourself stretch around him.

His thrusts started off slow until he knew you’d had enough time. His hands found an anchor on your hips and used them to pull you in to meet his hips. A string of curse words fell from your mouth as your hips rocked back into him.

Each movement felt like he was going deeper. JB’s hands on the cheeks of your ass kept you spread open to him and left no friction to catch his thrusts. Every single one was felt as he buried himself inside you in a rhythmic timing that left you moaning.

You caught your reflection in the mirror, and glanced over to watch him as he worked. The way his hips bucked up only to be brought down. His hands stationed on your hips and bruising the flesh there as his grip got tighter. JB looked up and caught a glimpse of you in the mirror. His eyes locked with yours as he continued that unrelenting pace.

He removed a hand from your ass and used it to wrap back around your neck. When he knew he had a good grip, he used it to pull you close to his chest. The angle of him in this new position somehow made him feel like he was pushing into your gut.

Your mouth opened to make another sound, a moan or a scream you weren’t sure which, when that hand in your throat tilted your mouth towards him. His own came crashing down on your lips with his tongue that tasted of you slipping inside. You eagerly opened your mouth to him, and your tongue quickly moved to get a taste.

JB deepened the kiss as his hips began to thrust harder into you. The movement building up your orgasm with each brutal movement until it threatened to spill over.

“You taste so good with me on your lips.”

Your words fell earnest from your lips. You meant every one of them. You’d never tasted yourself so pretty on anyone else’s lips. JB obliged as he took your lips back. His mouth silenced another moan as his last free hand found its way back to your clit. Your body jumped at the added sensation. Your mouth tore away from his as another moan dripped from your lips.

You were so close. You could fill yourself ready to cum if only he would let you. JB must have been close too, because his thrusts started becoming more violent and sporadic. Hitting in all the right places.

At the same time as his fingers made small circles around your clit, a singular hard thrust of his hips sent his cock deep inside you. Your vision erupted in a sea of white. Your orgasm sent your body rutting back against him.

He rode your orgasm and somehow made it grow in intensity as he continued to move his hips. His own breathing going ragged as you felt him finally release into you.

When you both were able to breathe again, you’d realized you were laying over the sink. JB’s forehead resting on your back as you both struggled to regain your composure.

JB was the first to move. The first to begin the arduous process of cleaning up. Like a voyeur, you watched him as he threw away the spent rubber and tuck himself back inside his jeans. A smirk creased your lips when you noticed he now had noticeable wet spots on his tee shirt.

“You know, I don’t even know anything about you.”

You weren’t sure why you made the comment or why it mattered. You’d just had sex with the man in a damn bar bathroom. But JB didn’t seem to mind. His own smile curling his lips as he salvaged what he could of his hair.

“What would you like to know?”

“Well,” you began as you started to situate your skirt. “What’s your favorite color?”

It was a silly question. By the look on JB’s face, he knew it was, but he humored you anyways.

“It used to be blue, but I think red might be a new favorite.”

“Why is that?”

You were wondering where your panties had gone until you spied a bit of the black cloth hanging from his pocket. JB walked over to you in a few steps and planted a soft kiss down on your lips. One that spoke plainly, this wouldn’t be the last time you’d see each other.

“Because it currently matches the color of your ass.”

JB was out the door and in the bar’s hallway before you’d even got a chance to respond.

187 notes · View notes

littlefangirlfantasy · 3 years

Text

This kind of fear Ch.11

Quick important Warning: In this chapter, the story is going to take a sudden dark turn. I'm going to update “Ch.1″ from time to time before uploading new chapters that are going to deal with triggering matters that I haven't mentioned yet. Some I have already added. Please watch out for the warnings to know if you're ready to indulge in particular heavy topics. Some are already mentioned in the tags.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 11

Choi Young-jae [Police Detective] (Got7)

Lim Jae-beom [Police Officer] (Got7)

Lee Ho-seok [Wonho] (Monsta X)

🍋

A healthy mind can keep the body healthy as well. At least that's what I had read somewhere before. It may have been written in a magazine or was it on an internet site? Maybe they had spoken those words rather than written them. Either way the next week I had laid with a fever in bed, distancing myself from the important lectures at university and drowned myself in the loud silence and the occasional nightmares that appeared every time I couldn't withstand being awake anymore and dozed off into an uneasy sleep.

Disturbing dreams of being kidnapped and tortured mercilessly set my daily mood, made me sometimes believe that these dystopian scenarios were real. I couldn't rest properly but I still talked to my family as if this was nothing; as if it was only a cold. It was February after all, you couldn't prevent getting ill. Deep down I knew it was wrong that I still lied to them. I just wasn't brave or confident enough to talk honestly about the things I had done and about the things the secret group was planning in the future.

We had spread our message to Korea's citizens and now we all felt the change. We saw how people got secretive and hopefully more thoughtful that the election day we would call out or prime minister who would retrieve either way. And then we would call out the other potential president candidates, all the police officers that were entangled in the shady business. If we won; if we finally fought off Bangtan and the corrupted politicians, I could finally let go of my inner anxiety and that gripping fear that I tried to swallow down every time.

Someone knocking on my door got my attention. The fever tied me to the bed but I still gave my all to stand up from the mattress. I almost lost my balance but I pushed through and tumbled to the front door, holding myself up by leaning against the wall as I unlocked and then opened it. The knocking only stopped as the person on the other side noticed the door moving. My dizzy sight was set on two particular dark eyes that were looking intensely at me.

"You fucking idiot!" Jeong-guk scolded me angrily. I winced at his loud voice, automatically bringing my hand to my left ear to block the following shrilling noise out. He let himself in, closed the door shut, and locked it. I turned and leaned against the wall with my back and closed my eyes, my face burning and my head aching.

"Going around and causing trouble everywhere you set a foot in; are you trying to sabotage the whole fucking group with your behavior? You can't fulfill a mere task without bringing attention to yourself!"

I breathed out, listened to his endless scolding, his loud tone clouding my mind further on.

"First you let the posters fall and let a stranger—surprise, it turns out he is a Bangtan member—have a look at it and also showed him half of your face! The night and that useless mask can't erase the fact that you're looking like a foreigner with your European facial features! And then you also appear at an event that they're holding and let yourself be identified by one important head in the Mafia. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that you have also started a discussion where you showed your disapproval of Korea's whole system, also witnessed by one of their spies."

I breathed in again, his rightful accusations making me nauseous again. He spoke out all of my fears, making one of my worst night nightmares come true.

"How the fuck do you imagine all those incidents to go by unnoticed? You got out of Lisa's shit without any real problem but it seems you do want to play with fire. Tell me how could anyone belittle your involvement in the opposition that has been observed? Bangtan doesn't tolerate any kind of open protest against them. You know that and you still fuck it up! Are you doing it on purpose?"

Tears rolled down my burning cheeks. I opened my eyes again and saw the Korean boy standing in front of me. His face showed bruises and scratches from a while ago. His chest rose and fell, the black hoodie he wore clung to his upper body, covered with mud and dried red color. His hands were fists, his knuckles white and slightly injured, dry blood glued on the area of thin skin.

"Say something! Fuck!" he shouted after moments of silence.

"I feel...sick..."

I pushed myself off the wall, stumbled in the direction of the restroom. I was able to hold myself together until I grabbed the toilet seat and then my weak body forced me to throw up again. There was not much left in my stomach after I had only drunk water and medical plant tee the whole day. I flushed the toilet after this episode ended and went to the sink where I washed my whole face and especially cleaned my mouth through-fully with water.

"Are you fucking pregnant or what?" Jeong-guk stood in the doorway, folding his arms in front of his chest. I stared at him with a dazed look, the fever pulling me down. I was happy to be able to hold myself up on the sink.

"Of course not," whispered. How would I have gotten pregnant if I had never slept with anyone? He didn't know that but that question just threw me off even more. This whole situation was so bad. I wanted to hide away. There was too much information, too much new information. "It seems you do care," I spoke under my breath, watching as his gaze hardened. I smiled then because I found it amusing. And I needed something amusing while being in this shit. "And I thought you were a two-faced, rude and heartless bastard...Oh, wait. I only take the last remark back. I'm not sure about the other two", I told him truthfully.

"Have you fucking listened to the words I've just said?" he demanded to know.

"I have. And I don't care right now. Come back when I do." I let go of the sink and wanted to walk to my room but my legs were too weak for my plan and gave out. I collapsed in front of him, breathed out as I felt extremely dizzy again, and wanted to lay my head on the cold parquet floor. Jeong-guk talked to me but I didn't catch his words, drowning in my thoughts, the shrilling silence almost hurting my ears. At one point I felt strong hands grabbing me by my arm and then my hips, he laid my left arm over his nape, holding me up as he dragged me out of the restroom.

"What's wrong with you? Are you dying on me right now? Odette! Are you fucking kidding me? Talk to me!"

All those words died down, only echoed in my head briefly as I noticed everything darken and then blacken in front of my eyes.

Hot...it's so hot...

I felt hands on my bare skin. A hand that briefly touched my upper body. It was cooler now, but not as cold as I wanted it to be.

Please...it's so hot.

Soon my temples were met by something cold, cool droplets falling off the sides of my face, it soaking the roots of my curly hair. I slightly opened my eyes, saw as the boy with the black hair looked at my chest, his hand holding a wet cloth, washing my naked upper body. Goosebumps appeared on my skin because of the cooling effect.

"You could have told me that you're ill...", he said, when his eyes met mine.

Hadn't it been obvious by my red and glazed eyes and red cheeks that I was very much not in my best state?

"Yeah...", I still agreed softly, my voice raspy. There were more droplets. This time they were warm, flowing from my eyes as I sniffled.

"I'm so scared...," I admitted and closed my eyes again. "I hate it." I sobbed then. "I hate that..." I tried to breathe while hiccuped with another crying reflex. "...that I'm so scared."

I felt his rough hand on my skin but it stroked my heated cheeks softly.

"I know", I heard him say. "Rest now. We'll talk another time."

And for the first time, I had sunken in a dreamless, in fact, nightmare-less sleep. Sleep that I had needed so badly. And now that I felt the presence of a stranger I was able to let go. Let go of that control and power that I knew I didn't have to begin with. I just badly wanted to have it, but I couldn't. I was just as helpless, scared, and cowardly as all the other citizens. I just didn't want to accept that I was the same while no one was different. Because someone had to do something. And when I recognized some people were different I wanted to support them, help them out in a way. And now I fucked it up. I did.

🍋

When I woke up again I still laid in my bed, but I was alone in my bedroom. Slowly I leaned forward and set myself up to my elbows. The plaid cloth slid down my face and fell on my naked chest. I sat up in a straight position and looked around the room, searching for someone, or rather the stranger that had left me like this behind. I wasn't particularly ashamed by the situation. He had done what he could. I assumed he had already left since he had always vanished.

I slowly got up from the bed, felt a lot better than the last time I had woken up. After standing up and sensing enough strength in my legs again I bravely went to my closet and put on a new shirt since I did need a little more warmth on my skin now. Then I left the bedroom again only to have the Korean boy in my sight again to my surprise. He stood there in front of the oven and seemed to cook something. It smelled like...ramen.

"Hey," I greeted him. He looked over his shoulder, his dark eyes taking me in. Then he looked back to the stove.

"You slept over 14 hours. I thought you're dead."

"I think I was but it seems that God means it good with me."

"If he had, he would have taken you," the male simply replied and turned around, putting the pot on a spreader on the table. He opened one drawer and took a seat, one set of chopsticks in his hand. After taking some steaming noodles between his eating device, he looked up. "Aren't you hungry?" he asked me and motioned to the seat next to him. I directed myself toward the drawer to grab some chopsticks but he didn't let me, blocking my way with his long leg. "Sit", he demanded and so I did with confusion written all over my face. He blew on the noodles and then held his chosen chopsticks up to my lips, using his other hand as a small bowl to catch the drops of the warm broth.

"You know...I can eat myself," I reminded him. He didn't like my statement by one bit, narrowing his eyes at me.

"You better eat. I'm making some big efforts for you here."

I gave in. He had taken care of me after all. And I did appreciate it...in a way, so I let him feed me and didn't complain about it anymore.

"What time is it?" I asked him after I had eaten the whole pot of ramen. My stomach was quite thankful for the warm meal.

"It must be 5 a.m.," he answered. I merely nodded. He hadn't slept much, had he? Was he still up because of me?

"Thank you, Jeong-guk," I finally said after some time of contemplating. "And I'm sorry that I made you so much work. It must have been a nuisance."

"I like that you can also see that."

I glared at him and he smiled. He smiled. I thought I would never see those lips stretch into that shape again, his bunny teeth shining.

"Have you been here the whole time?" I asked him. His smile faded and he only stared at me but he didn't answer. I estimated his silence as a yes.

"If you'd like to rest I can make the bed in Lisa's former room."

I hadn't said her name out loud in a very long time.

"Don't bother."

"It wouldn't bother me more than how it has bothered you to take care of me."

"It's indeed quite hard to beat that."

I stared at him, lowered my gaze to the dark marks on his neck.

"Why don't you let me repay your kindness?"

"It wasn't kindness," he replied.

I looked into his eyes again.

"What do you call it then?"

"A deal."

I raised my eyebrows.

"A deal? I haven't even signed anything...at least I don't remember doing it."

"It's a deal that doesn't need a signature. It's a give and take. I gave you something beneficial for yourself, and now you're going to give me something I can benefit from", he said. "You're going to tell me where you keep the phone you used to keep contact with Jong-dae."

I breathed out, followed his every word without starting a fight. Deep down I wanted to but I just didn't have the energy for that.

"It's behind the nightstand in my room", I told him and averted my gaze as he stood up. After some seconds of him vanishing into my room, moving my nightstand, and rummaging, he entered the kitchen area again. As I looked at him again, he threw the device with all his might on the ground and then stepped on it a couple of times, destroying it so nobody could turn it on again. I winced at his violent behavior. He dislocated me from the brave people who I had come to like, but there was nothing left in me to oppose him or detain him from doing whatever he wanted to do at this point.

"Now that this is done you're going to listen very carefully."

Jeong-guk sat down opposite me. I almost felt like in that investigation room again, the table being the only support I could hold on to.

"Another lecture?" I asked him. His face held no emotions nor did mine. Or at least I assumed I didn't look any different.

"You won't fight against Bangtan anymore. You won't call them names, nor call them out in any way again. You're going to stick to the silent rule of never badmouthing the Mafia", he began, watching me intensely as he spoke. "You'll be attending college normally, study as you always do, go to work, and you won't search for any member of our group. You won't attend the meetings and you certainly won't talk about us. If one Bangtan member turns up at your door you'll be saying that you have thought of the idea of writing commentaries and designing the posters alone. You were on your own that night, scattering around the flayers by yourself. You don't have any followers or accomplices, your only plan was revenge and the thirst after justice. You're going to keep us a secret, you're going to keep me a secret and you're going to keep this talk between us a secret. That is the only way for you to not hurt anyone else around you. Take the blame and pay for the trouble you have caused and don't resist any nice offer they give you to make it up to them. They won't hurt you as much if you let them win. Don't let your bold tongue or your pride get in the way. Do you understand, Odette?"

It was a lot to take in again, but I didn't have any other choice than nod.

"Good. There won't be a reason to be scared anymore if you stick to my instruction. Don't fuck it up again, okay?"

"Okay."

After some silent seconds, he nodded and his whole stance changed.

"How did you even know?" I finally asked him.

"What?"

"About my fuck ups. I haven't told anyone."

"Thugs have their ways."

I looked at his hands. He still wore that silver ring with a vest carved into the surface and his knuckles were still injured.

"So you haven't stopped babysitting me," I trailed off.

"I have no other choice. You go off starting trouble when I'm taking my eyes off of you for even one second."

I smiled though I wanted to cry again.

"At least someone is watching over me."

He left it at that and I didn't question his methods of watching over me further. I was awake and had slept well but I was still extremely exhausted and I didn't feel the need to argue with him.

"Back when I've asked you to help Lisa out before she's left Korea...how did you solve her problem?"

"I told her to fly to a country where there aren't enough Bangtan members to figure out her place of residence. Rather a smaller town than the capital city. She shouldn't look back, let go of everything and just flee if she chose this way for herself; the role of a helper."

"So you don't know where she is?"

His eyes watched me intensely, almost in a curious way.

"Do you?"

At that moment I suddenly had that weird feeling I couldn't trust him. Not that I could ever actually lean on him.

"No, she didn't tell me", I partially lied. She had hinted me the country, but not her exact position.

"I told her not to tell anyone. Not even to me," he said and I just looked at him and wondered. However, I didn't ask him any further questions since I was sure it would lead to nothing but arguing.

So I left it at that and his eyes showed approval of my silence.

🍋

Jeong-guk had left shortly after our talk and I had stayed in my apartment for the next day as well. There was this void in my heart, a sadness that replaced the illness that had initially strapped me to the bed. I wanted to go on those meetings of the rebellious group and help them but the phone was destroyed and the deal I had made with Jeong-guk still lingered in my consciousness. I needed to protect them, so I had no other choice than retreat and accept the consequences that were most likely awaiting me. Even though I feared the future and could hardly find real reassurance in Jeong-guk's worrying statements, I had no other choice but to pull myself together and trust that boy. The belief was the only thing that could keep my sanity at this point and I didn't want to go crazy.

Time went on and I started going to university again. I had a hard time focusing at first but I still managed to catch up on all the missed lectures after being up late in the evenings and trying to figure out the important bits. Joo-hyun was seemingly relieved when I started working again and gave her best to make me feel welcome and safe at the bakery. We didn't talk about last time and as much as I hated the unanswered questions I was grateful for the silence on this particular topic. A little normality in my life didn't hurt. Especially when everything seemed anything but that.

However, this normality couldn't last forever, my fears couldn't just vanish and the burden of knowing that Bangtan had their eyes set on me unnerved me. From day to day my worries grew and it started to show.

"Is there something on your mind?", Yuggy asked me as we sat in the library. I looked up from the table, had found great interest in the pen that I held in my hand a moment ago. The paper was empty in front of me while his one was written fully.

"Oh...no. Sorry." I let go of the pen and leaned back in my seat, rubbing my eyes. "I'm just a little tired. I had been up late." It was an excuse. There were too many things on my mind; too much pressure; too much stress; too much...fear.

"You're lying", the boy with light golden brown hair simply stated and I looked at him surprised at his allegation. Yug-yeoms chocolate brown eyes were set on me, watching me closely, awaiting some kind of reaction to his blunt words. Since I had chosen silence, he chose to continue. "You know...it's pretty obvious to me that the lack of sleep isn't the cause of your permanent exhaustion. You aren't as focused as before when we're studying together. In lectures, you also seem to be absent-minded. Something's going on and it's not letting you go."

He had been watching me.

"A 'face-teller', was it?", I asked quietly, feeling my throat tightening at the truth.

Why had he been watching me? Did he care about me? Or was it something different? Was he preying on me? My right hand trembled at the last thought, so I formed it into a fist.

"What's going on?", he asked me and I couldn't answer. I just stared at him, feeling lost and weak. And I hated that I was just as scared as the rest of Korea's citizens. "You can tell me", he reassured me and laid his warm hand on top of mine. It was so much warmer than Jeong-guk's one and yet his gentle gesture didn't calm me down. "You can trust me", Yuggy whispered.

I wanted to say it; shout it; scream it. I wanted everybody to know how fucked up our world had become. I wanted them to know that it was utterly disgusting that we let criminals corner us. I didn't want to be weak like that. I didn't want to shut up and let it happen.

Yug-gyeom still awaited the truth, his chocolate brown eyes gazing into mine. I opened my mouth, felt the knot in my throat but it couldn't hold me back from talking anymore.

"In only a little more than one month there's going to be the elections. Aren't you nervous, Yuggy? Given the situation, we have in the politics..." I spoke quietly. We had never talked about this subject before and I wasn't sure how he would react. I noticed a shift in his calm stance, now slightly tensing up. He knew exactly what I was implying. Yug-gyeom turned his head slightly, his eyes roaming the library and then he looked at me again, showing me an unnerved facial expression.

"You shouldn't speak this freely...", he finally stated. Then why tell me that I could trust him? He didn't want to speak about risky matters, unlike Jeong-guk. And that very fact disappointed me greatly. I averted my eyes and pulled my hand away. I didn't need the warmth of someone who wasn't able to communicate with me on this level; who only dragged me down deeper into my fears.

"I rather speak my mind than stay silent and hide away", I replied and glanced up at him again.

"Speaking doesn't change our fate", he retorted, trying to find fault in my behavior as well. I had probably insulted him by implying that he was a coward.

"That's why I didn't stop at talking."

Realization hit him. I knew it by the way his eyes widened and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Odi...what did you do?", he whispered. He sounded just like my boss. Just as accusing. Just as worried. And scared. It seemed as if the simple act of asking me this question was highly dangerous. And maybe it was. I didn't care though. I was already more than fucked in Jeong-guk's narrative.

"I did exactly what was needed", I simply answered and began packing my stuff. There was no point in staying here when my blunt truth wasn't welcome.

"At what price?"

"It depends on you, Yuggy. Are you going to side with the corrupt system or fight together with the opposition? If you choose freedom then no matter what's going to happen to me; it was all worth it." I stood up from the table and swung my backpack over my right shoulder.

"You have no idea what you're dealing with, Odi. Stop it before it's too late."

"It's already too late." Those were my last words to him before I turned around and began walking away. At a table not too far away I noticed the very same man who had visited the bakery from time to time. His droopy eyes—now brown again—were watching me shamelessly. Chimchim. I felt my stomach drop at his sight and I halted my steps for a moment. It wasn't a too wild guess to say that he was probably the spy of Bangtan who Jeong-guk had mentioned. Joo-hyun's friend had overheard me criticizing our current political situation plenty of times after all and now he was even in my university's library. The shady male stood up as well, smirked slightly, and strode in the direction of the exit, his eyes only leaving mine when his back was fully facing me. I saw as he pulled his phone out of the front pocket of his ripped blue jeans and held it to his ear. Was he reporting about me? Was he plotting to kill me? Or was he calling those that would need to do that job for him? All those theories in my head made me feel sick again. I felt like fleeing, but I didn't want to follow him. For a short moment, I glanced back to Yug-gyeom and he looked back. He didn't try to make me stay. When I averted my gaze again he didn't call my name and when I walked towards the exit he didn't follow me. Yug-gyeom knew that the same great burden would await him if he did after all. I was all alone again, walking into my doom.

Chimchim was leaning against the wall in the hallway when I left the library. He looked up as I continued walking though I felt like running. A slight smirk appeared on his face again.

"Be careful on your way home", he advised and I walked even faster, getting the hell out of his sight. As if I hadn't even heard him but both of us knew that I had. I was scared. My knees felt weak and adrenaline pumped through my veins, my heart beating so fast in my chest. Chimchim's appearance alone caused this reaction in me and I couldn't even be 100% sure that he was a member of Bangtan. My paranoia was getting the best of me, eating away my fragile soul. I tried to reassure myself that this was all talk. Just like the first time when he had warned me about the streets at night. But what if it wasn't just talking anymore? What if I was in real danger? What did that danger look like? Was I able to handle it when I was starting to break because of the pressure I felt already?

I had never felt this unsafe when making it my way home. Every cautious step I took I hoped it wouldn't be my last. My eyes wandered around the blocks, stopping at every shady-looking car and human being. What if they had their eyes set on me? What if they only waited for the perfect opportunity to grab me and take my life?

Arriving at my apartment complex, I hurried to the metallic stairs and jogged up to the terrace, only having my sight on the front door of my home. I wanted to hide away, cover under my blanket and forget about the world around me. Finally, I was able to understand the cowards that did the same. I quickly fished my key out of my backpack when suddenly I noticed a tall figure standing next to me. Startled, the small silver object fell out of my hand and my wide eyes found a man wearing a police uniform.

I breathed out heavily, slightly relaxed again even if deep down I knew that the police wasn't on the side of righteousness anymore. However, Jong-dae had proven me wrong.

"Excuse us for startling you, Miss Abbe. I am Detective Kim Sang-Hoon", he introduced himself and showed me his police identity card. I was only being able to give it a little attention since I was more focused on his well-kept dark brown hair and the mole under his right eye and the one on his cheek. He had a rounder face with soft cheeks. "My colleague's name is Officer Park Kwang-Soo. We are from the crime investigation department." The second policeman I had only noticed then. The black-haired guy also showed me his police badge and I just stared at it, now feeling anxiety slowly creeping up my back again. What did the police need me for?

"We have some questions for you, Miss Abbe", Officer Park said. He had darker eyes than the Detective, silver piercings hanging from his ears, and a steel nose bone on his left nostril. He had two small eye moles alined just sightly above his eyelids. His nose was slightly wavy with a straight base and his long black hair was cut in a mullet style. Officer Park crouched down in front of my feet and picked up my key. After he had stood up fully again, he gave it back to me. I thanked him quietly. "It's only going to take up a little of your time", he said.

"May I ask what the questions are about?" I asked them carefully. Both of them watched me, their eyes focusing on me. I looked from one to the other, not feeling very safe in their presence.

"On the fourth of January, you were seen at Holjae-street's small supermarket called Filter. It was late in the evening, 20 minutes before closing. Only three female customers were making their purchases. You were one of them. One of the other two female customers was shot shortly after she had left Filter and died instantly", Detective Kim explained.

Although I had known about this case long ago it still shocked me the same. Especially since I was hearing about this terrible occurrence from these two policemen. It hit differently although Jong-dae had also affirmed this situation long before in one of those secret group meetings.

"That's horrible. I'm so sorry." I did feel bad about that situation. It still lingered in my head. I saw the faces from that day in my mind, was very much able to name their unique facial features.

"We would like to hear the story from your point of view. Would you please help us solve this case with all the important details you can remember, Miss Abbe? We can talk inside if it is more comfortable for you", Officer Park said.

"Yes", I agreed before really thinking about his question and held my silver key to the lock of the front door. I stopped my movements for a moment, didn't feel good with the idea of them entering my home. However, they were the police, so there was no way I could decline. "You may come in." After opening the door, I let them enter first. They thanked me and strode into my home, their combat boots loud and heavy on the floor. I couldn't possibly ask them to take those off, so I probably needed to clean up after. I saw them checking out my apartment, one of them walking dangerously close to my bedroom. "May I use the bathroom?", Officer Park asked me politely. I watched him cautiously but I couldn't decline yet again. "Yes. The door in the middle leads to the bathroom", I told him but he had acted faster than he could have caught on my information. As if the Korean man had already known where the bathroom was.

"Please take a seat, Miss Abbe", Detective Kim said. He had already made himself comfortable, sitting in a relaxed stance on the chair, his arm bent over the top rail, laying his hand on the ear of the wooden furniture. His black combat boots seemed pretty worn and I imagined seeing dark red spots on the leather material. As if the intention was there to clean them up but they were just too stubborn to leave the surface. I neared the policeman but I felt my whole body fighting against every small step I took. I still held my key in my hand and my backpack over my right shoulder. I listened to the other male who occupied the bathroom. There were no sounds of clothes ruffling, zippers being pulled, and streams of fluid falling into the water. There were only slight sounds that indicated something entirely else than going after natural human needs. I was overly paranoid. And there was a question which alerted me the most; why was the police only searching for me now? The woman's death had been more than one month ago. Fuck. I needed to get out of here. It didn't matter that there was nobody who could help me; I just needed to leave this place behind. I couldn't be sure who these two guys were. And on top of all, they gave me a pretty bad feeling.

"May I offer you a glass of water?" I tried to stay calm and directed myself towards the kitchen. It was a lot closer to the entrance than the table he sat at though he had tactically left the chair empty that was cornered by the wall.

"Yes, thank you", Detective Kim replied. I felt his intense gaze on me as I opened one of the cabinets and took out three glasses. The silver key was still in my hand as I filled up each of them with water. I still didn't hear the toilet flushing. I didn't hear water running. I heard nothing at all, only my heart racing in my chest.

"You can make yourself at home. It is your apartment, after all, Miss Abbe", the man said and that gave me an idea.

"Oh, yes." I grabbed the two glasses and placed them on the table. He thanked me and smiled at me. I smiled back, though I had to force it. "Then please excuse me for a moment." I directed myself towards the door and noticed that the policeman moved as well. Only slightly though. I looked back at him, acting a little surprised although I wanted to rather sprint at that moment. It was hard for me to act this calmly but I just couldn't allow him to suspect me.

"Is everything okay?", I asked him as I got closer to the door. I could see him gripping the ear of the chair, ready to jump on his feet any moment. I lowered myself on my right knee.

"Yes, everything is fine", he answered as I did and I could see him avert his eyes and relax again. That was my chance. I acted fast, stood up quickly, grabbed the handle of the door, pulled the door open, and pulled it shut behind me, causing a loud noise echoing through the apartment complex. My shoelaces were open on my left sports shoe but I didn't let it stop me; I rushed along the terrace. I held out for a police car in the parking lot but there was none. Only the usual ones and one black van. The fake detective's loud voice came out muffled from the inside. I practically ran down the stairs when I heard the entrance door falling against the doorstopper. The sound made me think that either the door or the doorstopper broke. I didn't care though. I was much more concentrated on sprinting in a random direction.

"Stop right there!", the fake Detective shouted behind me, his fast steps gradually getting closer. I felt even more adrenaline rushing through my system, making me stretch my legs out more to get away faster. Although I had made it pretty far all my hard efforts were for nothing in the end. The strong hand of the man who chased me got a hold of my backpack and with that, I had lost. The fake Detective forcefully yanked at me, I lost balance while being at my fastest pace and fell. As I hit the cement, I began yelling and kicking, only briefly sensing the pain.

"Leave me the fuck alone you bastard! I know that you're not a real policeman!", I screamed at him, trying to scratch him as he violently got a hold of my arm and pulled me from the ground. He forcefully clamped his hand over my mouth, preventing me to make any more loud noise. I still scolded and even tried to bite him while he dragged me back to the apartment complex.

"Jay B! Do you have the stuff ready?", he shouted to the other fake policeman who had already been standing at the black van. The rear door stood open and I knew at that moment that they wouldn't leave without me. I still struggled against the man, tried to fight him off, but I wasn't strong enough. He had total control of my arms, having them trapped in his hand behind my back as he dragged me further. In my overly panicked state, I looked around helplessly, hoping someone would save me but who was I kidding? Nobody would ever go against thugs.

"It's all ready now. Sorry for keeping you waiting", the fake officer replied. I noticed a syringe in his hand, felt my stomach drop at the sight and I screamed with all my might but yet again it only came out as muffled sounds to the surface.

"Hush, little troublemaker. It's time for you to let go of your stress and calm down", the thug holding on to me, pushed me into the car, making me lay on the dusty rubber cargo floor. He let go of my mouth in the process and I heard the door closing. It was darker now, only the windows and the dimmed lights in the car giving enough help to see.

"No! Let me go! Don't touch me you fuckers!" I still fought, tried to wiggle away but the fake Detective knew exactly where to put his weight on my body to make it impossible for me to escape.

"What a lively mouth..." A third person had joined the situation. My face was turned in his exact direction, noticing as he held his phone in his hand. He sat lazily in the driving seat. "I'd like to see it move more efficiently..." His dark eyes were looking deeply into my widened ones and a creepy smirk appeared on his face. That highly alerting statement made my blood run cold in my veins.

"Same goes for you, Wonho. Rather than playing some dumb game on your phone, you could have stopped the situation from escalating", Jay B stated and got closer while I was completely held down one of my arms now being freed. "Don't worry it's only going to sting for a moment and then you're going to feel real good."

"No! Don't touch me!" I forced my eyes shut and almost let out a helpless cry. I was still trying to act tough although I was utterly terrified. Jay B grabbed my wrist and positioned my arm in an angle that was uncomfortable, even a little painful, and weighed down on my hand to prevent me from pulling away. I felt a rough hand kneading my skin, even slightly slapping the area of my inner elbow. Soon, the needle entered my skin and I cried out.

"Stop it!", I finally screeched. Of course, they didn't and whatever liquid that was in the syringe was pushed into my system. This situation was horrifying. Even worse than the nightmares that had been visiting me every single night.

"Now that wasn't too bad, was it?", Jay B asked me and the weight disappeared on my arm. I immediately tried to hit him with my fist but he was faster, catching my wrist in time and holding it down. My whole body was shaking because of the high-functioning anxiety that I went through.

"Go to hell!", I cursed, my tears threatening to fall down my cheeks but I held them back.

I heard the male snicker in the driver's seat. "A little firecracker, isn't she? Somebody should wash her mouth with soap."

"How long does it take until it begins working?", the man still holding me down asked his comrade, ignoring the driver's statements.

"It already is", Jay B replied. "It only takes some seconds for it to kick in."

"What the fuck did you give me?", I demanded to know, still clutching the silver key in my left hand.

"Don't worry about it, little one. It's not gonna kill you", Wonho answered. "It's just helping you relax, so we have less trouble while delivering you."

His explanation only created more stress in me, my feelings and senses going crazy. "Deliver me where?" I had one place in mind. The last time I had been kidnapped I had been brought to that fancy building in the woods.

"Why take the fun out of it? You're gonna see either way when you're there", Wonho answered.

"You're from Bangtan, aren't you?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"What a brave girl, saying the name of the most feared gang of Korea. Can we not roughen her up a bit more after all?" His comment made my heart skip a beat.

"You know that we've got a tight timetable. There's no time for you to act on your perverse tendencies", Jay B said, his voice sounding further away now, although he was right next to me. I glanced up to the Korean male, not even dealing with his words. I was more focused on the wavy movements in my vision. As if the car was a boat, rocking from one side to the other. Jay B noticed me staring and also looked at me, his almost black eyes boring into my heavily burdened soul.

"You can go visit a brothel after work", the fake Detective said. It seemed as if the weight on my body slowly faded away; the uncomfortable positioning of my arm playing only the slightest role in my state. But when I tried to move, I sensed that I was still forcibly held down. I noticed Jay B's eyes lowering and I followed his gaze, only noticing then that he had pinched my skin, even leaving his fingermarks after he had let go of my arm. I was petrified, not understanding how I couldn't have felt his other hand on mine. Now that I thought about it, I couldn't even sense his hand around my wrist currently.

"It's working", he stated and stood up, letting my skin go in the process. "You can start the car, Wonho."

I felt like being under, the sounds of movements and voices not reaching my ears. Or maybe they did reach my ears but I felt like forgetting about them instantly. Fuck.

"What kind of drug did you give me?", I whispered. Already, I couldn't fully deal with the dosage they had given me. I had never taken drugs before. I had never been much of a drinker, I hated the smell of tobacco and never wanted to try out smoking weed. This had never been my world since losing control of myself wasn't appealing to me.

I couldn't help dozing off though, sinking into the loud buzzing of the engine but sometimes awaking from my relaxed trance when I remembered that I was under the influence of some kind of substance. Every time it felt like waking up from a dream but I slumbered back because I couldn't help it. It was hard to leave my eyes open since my eyelids felt heavy and my head mildly ached.

"You should sit up...", I hear somebody's voice and felt my head getting heavy as I wasn't laying anymore.

"No...leave me alone...", I said but I didn't manage to rest my head on the ground of the van anymore. The fake detective was holding onto me. I just knew although I couldn't realize his touch anymore. He hauled me onto the seat next to him and put the belt around me, the quick clicking noise of it being strapped resounding in my ears, almost as if having a loop effect. The nameless thug was right beside me, sitting in silence while my two other abductors chatted in the front of the vehicle. Or did he also say something sometimes? Even if he did, I probably wasn't giving enough attention to catch on to every single dialogue. My focus was on the window on the upper half of the door of the van. I saw the images of buildings and sometimes treetops. And sometimes when I closed my eyes I saw Lisa sitting in front of me. She still had those long blonde hair strands and her sparkling brown eyes. An image that would never leave my head. She was with me even when in truth I was all alone.

I let my worries float free; let go of my fears and the huge burden of my situation since I knew that it wouldn't mean forever, it couldn't. My head hung low while my soul left my body. I didn't feel trapped anymore, as if not even being involved in my second abduction. I saw myself, looked upon Wonho, the driver, Jay B, the fake Officer, and the nameless thug, the faje Detective, sitting in the seat next to mine. I sensed laughter, heard a random Korean R&B song playing on the radio that I had probably listened to before. Somewhere...

I remembered that one cold February evening and that particular moment when a warm wave had hit my legs, the heat drawing me closer. I remember the building, the title shining in bright colors, the same as the lights inside the club: Playboy. If I hadn't let the posters fall out of my hands; if I had just been more careful; if only that thug with those soft facial features hadn't seen me, all of this wouldn't have happened.

🍋

Some added information: Choi Young-jae [Genie/Fake Detective Kim Sang-hoon] (Got7) Lim Jae-beom [Jay B/ Fake Officer Park Kwang-soo] (Got7)

Chapter 12

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