#liquid ​lip tint is a fun pick-me-up sometimes (i need more colors) but most of the time that’s all i wanna use if anything

[mabelsguidetolife]

washing makeup off your face and then moisturizing can feel sooo spiritually cleansing tbh

[staticscreenwriting]

Love like the movies // Bucky Barnes // 5

Five - Dirty Dancing

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

Bucky wakes up to music. It's playing from outside the room, echoing through the halls and filling the apartment with sound.

It reminds him of when he was a kid and his mom would make them all breakfast as the radio would softly play in the background. She'd always have a smile on her face and twirl around the kitchen and sometimes, when they were still little enough, she'd pick up him or one of his sisters and slowly sway along with them in her arms.

It's a hazy memory, he's barely able to grasp it, but it's there nonetheless and that makes all the difference.

Rays of sun flood the apartment, coloring it in hues of orange and gold. Bucky steps out of (Y/N)’s room and into the hallway from which he can see straight into the kitchen. (Y/N)’s standing by the stove, a frilly pink apron wrapped around her waist and spatula in hand. Her hips shake slightly to the beat of the song and her lips move along with the lyrics.

Bucky wonders if he’ll ever get that. This feeling of pure comfort in his own home. To find who he really is and allow himself to be that person, no inhibitions, no holding back. Just be himself and be confident in who that might be.

“ You can keep standing there like a creep or you can come over here and help me, grumpy”

At the sound of her voice, he jumps a little, too lost in could-bes and what-ifs to realize she’s long noticed him leaning against the doorway. Her hair is a mess and there’s still eyeliner and glitter from last night stuck to her skin. But Bucky thinks she’s never looked better. It’s an intimate moment, to watch her in all her imperfect ways, move around her own home, being the most comfortable and at ease she’s ever been. There’s something about the way she looks at him then, showered in golden sunlight, a bright smile on her face. Bucky knows what it is he feels, deep down inside of him, flickering up like a light in the dark. He knows what it is. It’s not a feeling you forget once you’ve felt it.

He’s not gonna say it though, not gonna admit it to himself or anyone. All that can come from it is misery and heartbreak and while his heart is of very little value to him, hers means everything. So he’ll ignore it, shove it to the deepest darkest corner of himself and try not to acknowledge it in hopes it’ll go away.

“ You’re cooking? “ he asks as he steps up next to her, eyebrows raised in uncertainty.

“I’m making pancakes, and don’t look at me like that!” (Y/N) replies, swatting him with a dish towel, “ I know my cookies weren’t the best and I am well aware that my coffee sucks. But if there’s one thing I can make, it’s pancakes. Trust me. “

He does trust her. It’s something that he only fully realizes at that moment. Such an insignificant little moment. He trusts her, which is terrifying but also liberating at the same time. Maybe his life is on the right path. Maybe things can get better. Step by tiny step.

“ Hey, I ate your cookies, didn’t I? “

She looks up at him, a small smile playing on her lips, eyes shining with — something he can’t quite place. Maybe, he thinks, maybe he doesn’t need to know what it means. It means something and that's all that counts in the grand scheme of things.

“Yeah, yeah you did.”

For a moment it’s just them and the music and the bliss of a morning spent with a friend.

“ Okay, hand me the batter please?” (Y/N) says and points towards a big blue bowl standing by on the counter to his right. As he hands it to her though, (Y/N) doesn’t immediately start pouring the batter, instead, she dips her finger into it and holds it out to Bucky.

“ Try it, tell me if it’s too sweet. “

He’s hesitant for a moment. You don’t just go around licking your friends’ fingers. Surely social cues haven’t changed that much. But when she moves her hand closer once again and adds a determined “taste it before it drips onto the floor”, he wraps his lips around her finger, tasting the sweet pancake batter. It’s not too sweet, not at all, it’s perfect. He can’t really voice that thought though, not when his mind is somewhere else entirely. Somewhere it really shouldn’t be.

At that moment Bucky feels something he hasn’t felt in forever — arousal.

“ Good? “ she questions him as she pours the batter into the pan, a sizzling sound filling the kitchen.

Buck nods, completely at a loss for words. This is entirely silly and inappropriate. You’re not supposed to feel those things for your friends. Wasn’t this exactly what they talked about in the Harry and Sally movie? Sex ruining friendships. He can’t and won’t let that happen. Not with (Y/N). Not when he’s just starting to trust her. He needs this friendship more than he cares to admit.

“Grumpy? “

“ Hmm? Oh uh — yeah it’s good. “

And it is good, too good to give up. Too good to jeopardize it for some fleeting sense of passion. Too good to ever let go.

It’s ridiculous of him to put any sensual notions to such a silly little gesture. These things can be friendly. Innocent. People probably do it all the time with no ulterior motives. Maybe he needs to go with the times, let go of antiquated morals. Yeah, surely that’s what he’s gotta do.

They’re sitting by the kitchen counter, (Y/N)’s plate licked clean while Bucky is struggling to finish his pile of pancakes.

“ Do you want the rest of mine? “

“ Did you not like them? “

“ No, I did! I ate an entire pile already. But I can see the way you’re lusting after them. Come on. Open up. “

He cuts off a piece, lathers it in the syrup pooling on his plate, and holds it out towards her. Nothing sexual about it, just two friends sharing food. Absolutely nothing sensual about the way her lips wrap around the fork, they’re still tinted red from last night. Absolutely no dirty thoughts as the syrup drips down her chin. Or when she uses her thumb to wipe it away then licks the sticky liquid off of her fingers. All innocent. All —

“ Have you ever seen 9 ½ weeks? “ she asks him, looking up at him through her thick lashes.

“ No. What’s it about? “

“ Um — “ she starts then laughs to herself as if she’s sharing a funny inside joke with herself “ nevermind. “

“ Noooo, you can’t just start something and then not give me an explanation” he declares as the two of them get up and put the dishes into the dishwasher.

“ You know, Grumpy. There are a few things you better figure out on your own, trust me.”

“ Now you’re just being mean. “

“ No, I’m not I — “ her eyes grow wide as the song changes again and a big bright smile overtakes her entire face. Messy hair, makeup smudged, a smile on her face. God, he wishes they could stay in this little bubble forever. Hurt doesn’t exist here. Only them. Only happy things.

“ I forgot Dirty Dancing.”

“ What? “

“ You don’t know Dirty Dancing. “

“ I know plenty of dancing, thank you very much.”

“ No, Bucky. It’s a movie. It’s one of the most famous romantic movies and I forgot about it. I made a list of all the movies I wanna watch with you but didn’t think of Dirty fucking dancing. Sorry for swearing.”

“ You made a list? “

“ Yes, Grumpy. I made a list because I take this very seriously and I intend to make you watch them all with me because — because it’s fun and I like spending time with you. “

People, Bucky thinks, often take the smallest things for granted. The smallest things that make the most impact. That you will remember forever and cherish with all your heart. Like this one. People also don’t tell each other enough how much their friendships actually mean to them. People should. It feels wonderful.

“ I like spending time with you too.”

She grants him another sunshine smile before grabbing his hands and dancing along to the song. It’s faster than their late-night sway on the balcony, way less coordinated and there’s more jumping on her part and more shaking of — pretty much every body part.

This is so her. Chaotic and a little messy but so unapologetic. So fun. So happy.

“ Because IIIIII've haaaaaad the time of myyyyyy lifeeeee. No I neeeeeever felt this way before. Yes I swear it's the truuuuuuuuth. And I ooooowe it all to youuuuuu.”

“ That’s a catchy song,” Bucky says as a smile finds a way onto his lips. Sometimes it feels nice to surround yourself with people who make you smile. It’s one of the little pleasures in life one should allow themself to indulge in.

Bucky wishes he could bottle up this moment and never let go of it. Keep it for himself forever. That’s the thing about losing your memories, it makes you realize how precious every moment is and it makes you want to hold on tightly to each and every one as they happen.

“Right? I can guarantee you’ll be humming this song all day.”

(Y/N) twirls herself under his arm, away from him, then back before her eyes fall onto his glove-covered hands.

“ You don’t have to wear them for me, you know that, right? “

Sometimes he doesn’t even remember he’S wearing them, it’s become such a regular thing to him now. They are a part of him like the arm itself. They’re a shield really. From looks and judgment. And maybe, if he’s being entirely true to himself, they’re also to keep his eyes from focusing too much on the shiny silver of his hand. Of the fact that he will never be whole again. That he will never be able to feel a loving touch there ever again.

“ I know. It’s not you I’m worried about. “

“ Is it you? “

Bucky scrunches his nose up in discomfort. Talking about feelings wasn’t really a thing back when he was younger, especially for men. Sure there had been late-night talks with Steve about god and the world. About their hopes and fears and about the future. But those were few and far between and really opening himself up was never one of Bucky’s strong points. Talking about your feelings makes you vulnerable and being vulnerable was the last thing Bucky was ever allowed to be back then.

But as he said before, maybe it’s time to give up on antiquated ways.

So he nods “ Yeah. It’s — I still have a complicated relationship with the arm. I know it’s part of me and I’m glad it was given to me but it’s a huge reminder of all that I’ve lost and of a version of me that I can never go back to. A man I can never be again.”

“ Bucky,” (Y/N) starts and takes his face in between her hands. It’s a touch so soft, he can’t remember ever being handled this gently. Like a baby bird. Like a piece of porcelain. Like a treasure too precious to break. “I will never be able to fully understand how you’re feeling and I know that some of those things you have to go through alone and do the work yourself. But let me tell you something. Whoever you used to be might be gone but there’s a long-ass future waiting and it lets you be whoever you want to be. Maybe it’s time to let go of the man you were and start being the man you are because that one’s pretty great. And your arm is as much a part of that greatness as your smile or your constant grumpy mood. It’s what makes you you and you are really cool, honestly. “

His heart beats faster and stops entirely all at the same time. When he was younger he used to relish in the compliments thrown his way. He gracefully accepted them all with a knowing smirk playing on his lips. Nowadays it’s hard to believe them. Hell, it was so hard to have faith in Steve’s words. To believe that he was really worth all the effort and trouble Steve and the others went through, for him of all people. It’s so hard believing you are worth something when all you can see are your wrongdoings and shortcomings.

He wants to believe her words though. If only for a moment. If only for right now, safe and sound in their little bubble as the sun filters through the windows and the tastes of syrup still lingers in his tongue.

A few days later...

“They’re screening Dirty Dancing at the cinema around the block from me! Starts at 8pm. Come meet me, I won’t take no for an answer! xx “

He reads the message and tries to remember the way he felt that morning a few days ago when they danced around her kitchen. When she told him he was worth something. When she made him believe he wasn’t the actual worst person walking this earth. A disgrace. A mistake. A killer.

But every time he tries to go back to the bubble, a different pair of eyes show up in his mind. Eyes filled with sadness, with unimaginable suffering, with grief. All of which he put there.

He ran into Yori last night on his way home. The old man looked more fail than usual, sadder, more tired. Bucky found out why a few minutes later when he asked Yori about the cake in his grocery bag. The one with the white and green frosting.

“ It would be my son’s birthday today. I know he’s not here anymore but he was crazy about these cakes ever since he was a kid. Felt like remembering him. Would you like to join me for a piece? “

Bucky made up some half-assed excuse why he couldn’t, rushed to his apartment, and had a full-on breakdown. The kind that you don’t realize is happening until you’re all the way in the center of the hurricane.

There are shards of glass on his floor from when he threw a bottle against the wall. It’s a shame when you can’t even drown your sorrows in alcohol. His cheeks, he’s sure, are stained with tears that he had kept inside for so long.

How could he ever spend another second with (Y/N) when this is the kind of person he is. Brainwashing or not. The blood of Yori’s son is on his hands. Yori’s pain is his doing. All this grief and this hurt. It’s his fault and his alone. And Yori is just one of so many.

(Y/N) deserves a friend that doesn’t have a body count. Someone who doesn’t know what it feels when someone loses their life at his hands. Someone who doesn’t go to sleep seeing the eyes of those he’s killed. Someone who isn’t him.

His phone rings and he expects it to be (Y/N). She’s one of those people that text you then immediately call you right after. She likes to talk. In-person or over the phone. He doesn’t know if he wants to answer. Doesn’t know what to say. Would it be easier to just tell her not to contact him again? To rip off the bandaid quickly and then deal with the pain afterward?

Before he can come up with an answer to any of those questions, his eyes register the name on the caller display.

“ What?” he grumbles and leans his head against the wall.

“ Well, aren't you a happy chappy today. “

“ Sam, now’s not a good time. “

Sam hesitates for a moment then his voice sounds out from the speakers again.

“ Hey, Bucky. Are you okay? “

For a second, Bucky thinks about saying yes. He wants to keep on pretending the way he did so many times before. Wants to deal with this all by himself and not have anyone else get caught in his mess.

But he can’t. He’s tearing at the seams. He’s barely holding himself together, cracking open more and more with each passing second. So he takes a deep breath and tells the truth.

“ No. No, I’m not. “

30 minutes. No actually 34 minutes. He’s 34 minutes late. In fact, he hasn’t even answered her god damn text. He’s read it. Hasn’t answered though. And while that’s not entirely unlike Bucky, it still annoys her. Especially since when she tried to call him, the line was busy. So surely he’s on his phone. Is it too much to ask for a little reply?

If he doesn’t want to come, that's no big deal, (Y/N) tells herself, but a quick text would be the bare minimum he could give her.

Pout on her face and mood soured, (Y/N) enters the cinema and slumps down onto one of the plush red velvet seats. Not even in the mood for popcorn anymore, thanks Bucky.

There are hardly any people in there with her. Probably because by now almost every person on this planet has seen Dirty Dancing before and the weather is actually quite nice out tonight so most would rather enjoy the last rays of sun before winter will fall upon them than be stuck in a dark stuffy cinema watching a decade-old movie.

Not her though.

And if Bucky thinks she’s gonna miss out on watching this classic masterpiece because he can’t be bothered to show up, well he’s gravely mistaken. And yeah, maybe she’s being a bit dramatic, there might be a perfectly valid explanation for his no-show. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

What happens if he actually goes on to date Leah? He’ll have less time for her that’s for sure. Movie dates won’t be happening then. Maybe it’s good she’s getting used to this now before she grows too close to him and breaks her own heart in the process of mending his.

She hates herself a little for those thoughts. Bucky deserves to be happy and if that means their friendship will be put on the backburner, then she should be okay with that, right? That’s what friends do, they want you happy no matter what it means for themself.

The Ronettes’ Be My Baby starts echoing through the room as the lights dim and (Y/N) sinks deeper into her seat, embracing the dark. The screen lights up with a black and white montage of people dancing and a swirly pink font spells out the actors' names. (Y/N) can’t wait to get lost in this picture-perfect version of real-life where things might seem bad but turn out right in the end. They always turn our right for these people. If only real life was this easy.

She’s so ready to just forget about all her troubles for the next 90 minutes.

And then a figure steps in front of the screen, nothing but a silhouette. A black shadow in front of the moving pictures. A shape she immediately recognizes.

“ Come on, dude. What the hell!” some guy in front of her yells out to Bucky, immediately following the words with a fistful of popcorn being thrown his way.

He’s here. He’s here and he’s obviously looking for her. She can’t make out his face but he’s shielding his eyes with his hands and letting his gaze wander over the crowd.

There’s a flutter in her stomach, one she knows oh too well. One she wants to bundle up and stuff to the very back of her being. A flutter that shouldn’t be there. That’s not what this is. Butterflies and goosebumps. This is eating spaghetti on the floor, dancing in the kitchen, and crying tears of laughter in IKEA. That’s what it is and what it should be. Right? But that doesn’t mean they can’t be affectionate. Right? That doesn’t mean they have to be cold and stoic and distant.

Right?

As (Y/N) reaches up her arms and waves, Bucky hurries down the platform and lets himself plop down in the seat next to her.

“ I’m sorry I was — “

“ It’s okay. You’re here now. “

That’s what matters. Being there. Just being there.

“ You deserve to have a friend, Bucky.” Sam said “ and she deserves to make her own decisions. If she decides you’re worth it, who are you to question that choice?”

Sam is right. Of course, he is. Despite how much Bucky hates to admit it, Sam is one of the smartest people he knows. Not in the way Tony or Bruce or Shuri are. Smart in a way that lets you know he gets you, he understands the chaos inside you, empathizes with it. He’s got this sense of incredible emotional awareness and a calm that exudes from him. Bucky will obviously never let him know this but talking to Sam feels more soothing and helpful than talking to his therapist.

He still doesn’t feel like he deserves her friendship, her affection, and her care. But really it would be foolish to think it’s his right to dictate who she can and can't care about.

Sitting beside her now, in the dark, with a movie playing on the big screen, makes things a bit easier. His thoughts aren’t so loud anymore and his heart, though still heavy, feels a little bit lighter. It’s easy to get lost in a story that’s not his and forget about the rest.

He almost forgets about his emotional turmoil by the time the two main characters dance around on a log, when he feels something against his left hand. First, it’s but a whisper of a touch, then more deliberate and then he feels the glove being slid off of his fingers. He doesn’t dare look over at her, eyes focused straight ahead. He doesn’t pull away though. There’s never been a touch quite so gentle against the cold vibranium metal. He doesn’t pull away, instead, he locks his fingers with hers and softly closes his fist.

If there’s moments worth holding onto, this is surely one of them.

“ I’m glad you came.” (Y/N) murmurs as she places her head against his shoulder. The one made of vibranium. The one that’s a part of him like his smile and his eyes and — his grumpy personality.

“ Yeah, me too.”

As Johnny and Baby give their all during the end of the season dance, Bucky can’t help but let himself relish in this moment.

There are two things on his mind.

One is the idea that maybe this is what friendship can be. Showing affection through soft touches and loving words. Maybe he doesn’t have to assign any deeper meaning to it. No matter how much it makes his heart beat faster or how the flutters in his stomach won't seem to settle down.

The other thing is the fact that this song is so damn catchy and while he hates himself a little for it, his feet tap along to the rhythm and he catches himself mouthing along to the lyrics.

And damn if it ain’t fitting because he has never felt this way before either.

Taglist // if you want to be added or taken off just message me :) //:

@zaynyierulez / @je-like-you / @dracoxxyoflam / @jackiehollanderr / @majo240820 / @kay-gilles / @booksb4looksstuff / @jckie94 / @charmed-asylum / @shawnie--jo / @yllwtaxi / @tailsoflightning / @giuliarogers / @mangoogirl / @gerim-1995 / @elen-alambil / @threeminutesoflife / @writeroutoftime / @buckybarn3s /

[eldritchsurveys]

1046.

Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won't happen? >> The thing is, the things I worry about are things that can happen. I know because I’ve already experienced those things happening. It’s the likelihood of the thing happening that may or may not be skewed in my imagination, not the thing itself.

Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep? >> I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? >> I’ve had plenty of weird dreams, but I didn’t obsess over their possible meaning.

Or do you usually forget about your dreams? >> Nowadays, yeah, I don’t remember my dreams too consistently.

Do you know your heritage? If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits? >> I know enough, I suppose. I would definitely not do one of those DNA kits, for multiple reasons.

Which languages can you speak? >> Only English with any fluency.

Which language do you speak the most and why? >> ---

Which languages do you wish you were fluent in? >> ---

With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? >> I greatly prefer subs. I like listening to different languages. Plus, I find that a lot of the times, the dub actors don’t match up well in my opinion.

Which cuisine do you like the least? >> ---

Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? >> Absolutely.

Which type of chocolate do you like best? >> I only eat dark chocolate.

Do you have a favorite kind of dog? >> Pit bulls, I guess, but I really just like dogs period.

Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? >> I would not.

Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists? >> I mean, probably.

What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians? >> I can’t think of a favourite collaboration.

Who are your favorite songwriters? >> I don’t have any.

Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)? >> Yep. I grew up listening to them and I still love a lot of that music.

Do you know who Bernie Taupin is? >> He writes with Elton John, don’t he? They’re associated somehow, anyway.

What are your favorite one-hit wonders? >> Meh.

What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? >> I mean, whichever ones did nude scenes in movies I’ve seen.

Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? >> Not necessarily by accident, just... not by my consent. Living in shelters, you see a lot you don’t necessarily want to see.

Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? >> In an idly musing sense, sure.

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? >> When I was younger.

Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? >> I don’t think so, but maybe.

About how quickly does your hair grow? >> Too quickly for my liking, considering how often I have to buzz it.

Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? >> No.

Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? >> No.

Most unusual thing you have worn in public? >> I don’t know?

If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? >> I don’t have any preferred brands.

Do you use flavored lip balm? What about tinted lip balm? >> Nope, just regular coconut-oil lip balm, thanks.

What is your favorite swear word? >> ---

Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises? >> I’m not afraid of them, I just have sensory issues and an exaggerated startle reflex. My responses are similar to fear responses, though, so it’s all the same shit at the end of the day, I guess.

Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles? >> I buy bottled iced tea.

Have you ever made sun tea? >> No.

Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea? >> I use honey sometimes, but most of the time I drink it as-is.

Do you ever put milk in your tea? >> Not usually. It’s good in chai, but I just never think about it. 

Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? >> ---

Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? >> ---

Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class? >> ---

Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? >> ---

Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? >> ---

Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? >> Yeah.

Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows? >> No.

Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn't meant to be funny? >> Oh, absolutely.

Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? >> I don’t have an opinion on this.

Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series? >> I think TV series are better if you want to actually delve into more of the book’s content.

Any great books you would recommend? >> ---

Any great movies or TV series you would recommend? >> ---

Were you disappointed with Fox's version of the Rocky Horror Show? >> I don’t care about Rocky Horror.

Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie? What about the musical? >> Never seen either.

Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? >> I’ve seen Red Dragon, Hannibal, and Hannibal Rising.

Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? >> Not yet. I’ve considered reading Red Dragon, since Francis Dolarhyde is my fave, but eh. Maybe one day.

Do you like any Indie movies? >> I mean, yes.

Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn't like as well? >> Absolutely. Tastes and needs evolve over time.

Do you like to go to the movies alone? >> I do, I love it. I especially love it when I go to a weekday matinee a couple of weeks after a movie’s premiere and the theater is empty of anyone save me. It’s the best feeling. I had so much fun watching Venom in an empty theater :)

When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other? >> Well, that’d depend on the people, I guess. And what kind of mood I’m in. And what the movie/TV show even was.

Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? >> No.

What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? >> ---

Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)? >> I’m fine with how I speak.

What accents do you find most pleasant? >> ---

Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way? >> I don’t have an opinion about this.

Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen? >> No.

Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers? >> No.

Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia? >> No.

Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating? >> No, that’s not really something I’m interested in (although I don’t mind hearing other people talk about it).

Do you care what color your socks are? >> Of course I care.

What about your underwear? >> Yes. I won’t wear most colours of underwear.

What part of a man's body do you find most attractive? >> ---

What part of a woman's body do you find most attractive? >> ---

Do you think guys look good in makeup? >> ---

Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? >> I don’t use them. They mostly seem like sensory hell to me.

Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut? >> I had a wig that was cut asymmetrically.

Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket? >> No.

Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? >> No, but Sparrow has.

Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams) Would you ever want to try? >> I’ve not given it a serious attempt, no.

If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? >> I don’t want to be cremated.

Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? >> No.

Would you ever have a pet cremated? >> No.

What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any? >> I have a few. The Stargates, for example.

Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? >> Yep.

If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be? >> I really would rather not.

[yunoyeol]

His ripped love

Genre : romance; smut later; streetracer!au; angst

Warnings : explicit use of drugs; swearing; illegalities; explicit smut

Pairing : you x kim hanbin

Chapters : 1 / 2

Chp. 1.

Your hands were cold and your exposed knees quivered with the gelid night breeze, making you curse under a large exhale of air. You started to question your decision in tagging along with Jennie, your roommate, but she had her way with words and her persuasive smile always tended to make you agree with all of her stupid invites. At least you’re going out with me tonight, it’s Saturday, you can take a break from all of that studying, Y/N, you recalled on your head, needless to say that the old memory in your shared living room floated in your head and made your eyes subconsciously roll back.

“ - I really should learn how to say no, specially to you guys. Jennie, where the hell are we going? ”

Ah, Jennie. Jennie was a lived girl, happy and spontaneous. You envied her, envied how her lifestyle was truly reckless and how she didn’t care about consequences. Sometimes, you wished you could be a little like her, have a mix of your responsibility with her unselfconscious personality, but you knew tomorrow was always a new day, and you’d have to wake up at 7 o'clock and get up, take a shower and start a new fresh day, having classes at 8. Besides, you needed a place to stay when you moved to college, since your family residence was too far away, making it too expensive to travel every day. You found Jennie’s announcement through a site, popular among students in need of sharing an apartment with someone to reduce the money waste by the end of the month. The first weeks were quite hard to handle, you wanted to rest and study, go to college and come back for more books, maybe spend a hour in a novel that you’d found at the book store, but Jennie and the friends she brought home made it hard for you, with all of their unreasonable talks and deafening laughs. They were obnoxiously loud, and you couldn’t concentrate, and the first time you ever talked properly with Jennie was in a scream of rage, telling her to shut up. You still remember how embarrassed you were, her three friends staring at you in silence for the first time you ever saw, dumbfounded.

- If we irritate you so much, why don’t you sit with us and eat some pizza? - Lisa, you now knew her name.

And after that, you would join them in their movie sprees and thunderous noises, the ones that used to irritate you but now pulled your old neighbors to their edges. There were times were you’d skip the encounter to study, but they always made sure to leave your pizza part at your room’s door, to not interrupt you.

In three months, you considered them your best friends, the ones who you would cry to when something went wrong, the ones who got your back, the ones who would drag you to stupid frat parties where you isolated yourself, and the ones who loved you no matter what, even when your habits didn’t quite coincide with theirs. Lisa was a free spirit firecracker, Chaeyoung preferred boys over books, Jisoo would play with your long hair everytime she got the chance to land her hands on it, and Jennie was Jennie, a lived, happy and spontaneous girl.

They made your time worth a while in a new city.

But today, you weren’t having it. Firstly, Jisoo forced you into a white summer dress, when you specifically said that it wasn’t warm enough for outsider’s weather, and white was just not your colour. Chaeyoung made sure to hide your study manuals and Lisa dragged you to Jennie’s car, where she was waiting patiently.

“ - Where are we going, guys? ” - You repeated, leaning back against the harsh old leather of Jennie’s car.

Lisa turned the music louder, booming way too loud bass that you weren’t sure if they could crack the windows or not. You, instead, decided to lower the volume down, making your voice loud enough for her ears. “ - Really, where are we going, I have an exam in a couple of weeks. ”

“ Ah c'mon Y/N, you’re going out with us, I said it. And where going to have fun. ”- Jisoo answered from the back seat, lightning a cigarette that hung on her cherry colored lips.

That clearly didn’t answer your question, and you doubted your friends intentions, but before your could protest, you felt the car coming to a stop. You didn’t know the place, and obviously neither did you know why there were so many people gathered in this one exact spot. Judging by the clothing choice, the women here weren’t cold but they were very, very, pretty.

“ - Okay. What’s this? ” You asked, the shock of the moment making your voice level lower than usual. With that, Jennie laughed and opened her door, getting out of her parked vehicle. This wasn’t even a parking spot, being clearly a make shift parking lot for the cars that came here, to this unknown destiny. Following Jennie, the girls that sat on the backseat got up and left the car, leaving you with the only option of following them too, since you didn’t even have the minor idea of where the hell did they brought you to.

You clearly didn’t belong here. If you thought your knees were too much exposed, your eyes proved you wrong. You had never seen so much skin before, people here seemed as reckless as your friends, and now you wished you stayed home. Jennie’s hand grabbed your wrist, making your statue figure walk, even when the surprise that the ambient offered you was painted, splattered on your expression.

“ - To answer your questions, this is a street race. ” - She smiled with her charming lips, a loving curve making her eyes disappear in half moon shapes.

Your eyes now fixated on her, not knowing how, or why she brought you here. Millions of questions went through your mind, but your throat didn’t reproduce any of them.

“ - Is this even legal? ” - You muttered, the giggle that leaked from Jennie’s throat reassuring that it wasn’t. Once again, before you could manifest your disdain, Jennie pulled you to the side, joining two of your friends. The third one, Lisa, appeared with a smile on her face and five plastic cups filled with beer on her struggling hands, handing one to each. You didn’t contest, you could sip from time to time, it wasn’t a habit anyway.

You couldn’t guess how many people were there, but all of them parted on each side of the road, leaving it empty for passages. The music was loud, and the amount of bodies almost touching yours made you feel nervous. You smelled the sweat, the alcohol and the drugs on the air, the atmosphere edged a rave, plus the fact of your eyes landing on faces that you could guess their ages varied from teenagers to way older adults.

You had your driver’s license, you had to : being too much of a chauffer to your four friends when they got too wasted to drive in late hours at night and called you to pick them up, so you wondered if you could escape with Jennie’s car.

- Look, there they are! - Jennie pointed at two men walking, and they seemed to be known between the millions of bodies that sided the road, judging by how you could hear screams and most of their eyes turning to their presence, as if they were divine themselves. Two men walking.

But one of them caught your attention.

It made your mouth run dry, your automatic breathing coming to a stop and your eyes glueing to his powerful stance. Not to mention his deadly gaze. He was there for a reason, and he would get his reasons done. The hair that was nicely slicked back out of his gracious forehead, the shine on his dark hair strands looked like they were wet, and how his jawline seemed to be sculptured to the right point made him look like a Greek ancient creature, if not God himself. The loose sleeveless black shirt he was wearing and the ripped over-washed jeans he sported made him look like somebody you wouldn’t mess with, let alone talk to.

“ - Wow. ” You muttered, catching the attention of Chaeyong that softly shoved her elbow against your ribcage, getting your attention but not your eyes, since the vision was as additive as it could be. She leaned over your shoulder, whispering but looking to the exact same spot you were.

“ - Kim Hanbin, 22, street racer. The other one is Bobby, Jennie’s booty call. They have been sleeping together for a good two months now. ”

Oh wow, that explains the countless nights were you didn’t see Jennie.

“ - The other one that is leaning over the matte black car is Junhoe, my booty call. ” - She smiled, moving centimeters away from you.

Needless to say, your eyes were glued to the figure that had just arrived, and by now was talking to the said Junhoe, grabbing the keys from the other’s hand and entering the driver’s seat.

“ - W-Wait, he’s racing? ” You looked to Chaeyoung, your eyes as wide as they could go.

Chaeyong just chuckled, nodding. “ - Oh baby, Hanbin is the main racer of iKon. Seven victories in a row. He has everyone’s attention up his ass. ” She winked.

Your mouth went dry, and you cupped the cold plastic harshly with your hands, taking a large ingulp of the liquid. Your tongue wiped the remains away from your tinted lips, your eyes glueing to the strong looking matte black car. You wondered if he cared how everyone seemed to be conspiring over his name, how everyone expected his win and how everyone stopped their party to watch him start the engine.

The car roared in a warning, a wave of black smoke hovering over the other cars and leaving their small chances of having confidence to dust. The show off was impressive, and now you were too much engaged into see how he could set the road on fire, because he looked promising.

A laugh was heard, and you supposed it came from Bobby that threw himself into the driver’s seat after pointing at Jennie. The girl looked proud, crossing her arms with a huge embarrassed smile painting her lips.

“ - Look at her, all rilled up. ” Lisa threw a lazy arm over your shoulder. “ - Fired up to see this? ” She raised an eyebrow, her now bleached grey locks resting nicely against her back.

You didn’t answer, your eyes glued to the black car. You froze on your spot when you noticed that said driver was staring right back at you, a emotionless unreadable expression coating his perfectly drawn features. He raised an eyebrow, a glint of a mischievous smirk resting on his lips, but you weren’t really proud of your vision, specially from this far away. Maybe it wasn’t happening, and if it was, maybe it wasn’t for you.

A girl, way too exposed for this cold, walked in between the set of four cars, holding a yellow flag on her hand. She looked promiscuous, the look on her face wasn’t denying it.

“ - Who are the other dudes in the other cars? ” Your question startled Jennie, who arched her eyebrows in amusement.

“ - The red car is Jimin, from west side of Seoul. The blue one, Baekhyun, from Busan. In the stipped black and red is Bang Chan, he’s Australian. Cute. ” She answered, not removing her eyes from the girl. You nodded, sipping once more and throwing the empty cup away.

The engines finally ripped the sound throughout the air as soon as the girl raised her hand. She screamed the number one with her high pitched but sexy voice, the number two following and finally, at three, she lowered herself and the flag, the cars storming through the road as aggressive animals. The black car ate the road as a meal, the smell of flint and burning rubber filling your nostrils as it took his way towards the city. Your eyes couldn’t see it anymore, and your heart drummed so fast against your ribcage that you thought it would break itself free.

“ BI LEADING THE WAY, I REPEAT, BI LEADING THE WAY. BANG CHAN JUST CATCHING HIS TAIL. ” A Male voice was heard over the music, reproduced by the same heavy columns that stood high over steel supports.

“ BI is Hanbin, he’s eating them alive. ” Jisoo scrunched her second cup, offering you one more beer. You took it without hesitation, sipping on it and making the girl laugh. Finally, you noticed the huge screens that were supported by the same base as the columns. It showed views of the city, and you wondered how the one behind this could install such cameras and not being caught. On the images, it showed the cars passing by traffic, your free hand coming to your lips when you saw how the black car was going in the wrong direction, dodging the cars that horned and stopped.

But nobody could stop him.

Nobody could stop him.

In minutes, the angry roar of the engine filled the air from afar, and your ears perked up from where the sound was coming. You didn’t hate it, actually, it filled your veins with electric adrenaline that you never knew you could possibly sense.

Your eyes didn’t even catch the moment when the black car erupted on the street, brakes screeching and the rubber from the tires burning against the concrete. The tail of the car twirled, a wave of smoke blinding you and everyone else that cheered on the driver that just arrived. All you could hear was loud screams of names that would set your turbulent late night house meeting to shame.

Jennie ran from her spot and came for a huge hug offered by Bobby as soon as he got out of the car, who lift her up in the air. Anyone else could mistaken the interaction by a loving couple, but they were simple as fuck buddies, judging by what you were told.

Finally, that magnificent man got out the driver’s seat, with all of his splendor and glory following him. He smiled in a lopsided grin, the most beautiful you have laid your eyes upon.

The girl that held the flag earlier walked holding a heavy bag on her hand, handing it to Hanbin with a flirtatious smile on her red velvety lips. He looked at her, winking and grabbing the bad, handing it to a new face. A man, seemed to be close for being in charge of carrying the prize out of the scene.

You stared in awe, being dragged by Chaeyong this time. You found yourself getting closer and closer to them, passing by corpses of cheering people that dispersed to find a closer spot to the music. You panicked, your eyes wide and your mouth unable to move and ask to be free of your friend’s grip.

“ - And who’s this little one here? ” Hanbin asked as soon as he laid his eyes on you, a smirk never leaving his way too tempting lips. His voice was deep and raspy, hoarse and attractive, like a bittersweet, melancholic and troublesome melody.

“ - Y/N. My roommate. She’s chill. ” Jennie leaned against Bobby's chest, who himself had his back against Hanbin’s car.

You kept quiet, not sure how to reply. You scoffed, a small ‘tsk’ leaving your lips. By the look on your face, you surely were not impressed, but by the way your stomach clenched, you damn were. He stared at you for a couple of seconds, as if he was absorbing all of your appearence and wondering why were you hanging out in a place that clearly you didn’t belong to. As if he was judging you.

But he kept quiet and nodded, the smile still resting on his lips. He moved his lazy irises towards Bobby, who got the signal and kissed Jennie’s cheek, whispering a low ’ see you later ’.

One last time, he looked at you and took a step further, being way closer you’d want, but being way far you’d need.

“ - Pleasure to meet you, call me BI. ”

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: NMNL April 19

Welcome to our next April review!

So uh, moving wise.... still no clue what’s going on. But for now let’s just focus on what’s in the box.

“Whether you’re busy with school or work, It’s important to take a break so every now and then. And because everyone deserves to have a relaxing evening, April’s box includes beauty products that are just what you need to pamper yourself. Exfoliate, moisturize, and relax with your face mask, it’s time to have a spa night!“

Contest Prizes

This month, the winners can get a hatomugi cleansing foam and Shiseido Elixir anti-aging sleeping pack in Sakura.

Glam Gift

This month the glam gift includes some cutesy items from Holika Holika and The SAEM, with the Holika items based on the Peko snack brand and includes things like face masks, lip balm, eye shadow, and a milky bun puff. The SAEM has lip tint, hand cream, and a highlighter in multi-color. 

Meanwhile, this months horoscope is a Japanese or Korean 2019 trend recommendation. Mine, Libra, suggests orange lipstick- which I really honestly don’t think I could pull off at all. I barely think I can pass with coral shades.

To-Plan Shea Butter Body Lotion & Morning Surprise Hand Cream

For our first item we have this cute little bottle of body lotion made from shea butter and several other nourishing ingredients like Hyaluronic Acid, olive oil, and collagen to seal water into the skin to keep it moisturized. It’s also fast-absorbing, so it’s perfect to use after a bath or shower.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It smells very lovely~ I’m not really sure what scent I’m picking up, but it reminds me a lot of what my cucumber-scented Num-Noms smell like ♥ In terms of the quality the lotion has a creamy-fluffy texture and it does absorb really quickly. I do see a tiny hint of greasy residue on my fingers if I rub where I applied it, but I noticed its not leaving streaks or smears on anything I accidentally bump, like in the case of some other lotions. Not sticky at all.

It’s very soothing to put on, and I did use it after my shower recently and I think it did a great job x3 my skin felt so good all day.

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Next up we have another lotion product but this is a hand cream. It was available in Monroe Peach or Princess Snail (who looks like Snow White, might have been intentional, I don’t know). I was a bit conflicted over which one I wanted, because I’ve already had Monroe Peach (it’s really nice and smelled great), but... the idea of using a product with Snail in it seemed kind of strange to me. Like, I thought they might hurt the snails to get it and what was what worried me, but most snail-based products use their “excrement“, like the slime or something. Which is still kinda weird, but not harmful to them.

So anyway as you can tell, I got princess snail. Like our previous item this also includes olive oil and shea butter, but with the addition of snail extract or peach (depending on which one you get).

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I never really have a problem with these hand creams, they usually all do their job and smell good. I loved my Monroe Peach so I didn’t have any doubts this would be that different besides the scent, and I was pretty much right. It feels really good on my hands, they feel soft, and the scent is pretty good, in an odd sense. I can’t really identity it or compare it to anything.

Peking Opera Sheet Mask

Next we have a face mask by Berrisom, based on the King and Queen roles of Chinese Opera. The Queen mask features red wine and adenosine and focuses on improving skin elasticity, radiance, and hydration, while the King mask features pearl and arbutin and focuses on brightening, treating blemishes, and hydrating the skin. Both masks are made from 100% cotton (which reminds me of Scream 3 every time I hear it :P), making them a good choice for sensitive skin.  

With my skin problems usually just being dryness, both make a good option as they focus on hydration.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Initially I was a little concerned over how this would fit because of it being a thinner mask, but it opened easy and I had no trouble getting it on my face. It actually fit really good too and clung to my face the entire time. My face felt really nice after using it too.

In terms of scent... it was kind of perfumey, but after I took it out of the package and used it, I could pick up a bit of a... mineral, charcoal-ish smell? It was pretty light and not overbearing at all.

House-Shaped Makeup Sponges

For on the go or just using at home (see what I did there? :P) we have a set of extremely popular sponges from Japan. Not only does their shape make them really versatile for getting the harder spots of the face, but they don’t overly absorb product. The booklet suggests using it damp for things like liquid foundations and creams, but dry for powders.

These were available in pink, or a peachy skin-tone color.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Despite getting makeup sponges I tend not to use them, like at all. I don’t know why, I just tend to go straight for my fingers or brush (the one that I now have 2 of, I reviewed it a long time ago). But for the sake of review, I moistened the sponge and used it to test both foundation and blush (that side left dry of course).

I actually really like it :D it did take me a few minutes to moisten the sponge but it was practically a miracle worker. The foundation really was easier to apply, and it feels like it soaked into my skin fairly quickly, so my face isn’t greasy or sticky or anything- it’s seriously making me reconsider the sponge. I didn’t have any foundation streaks that I had to fix, and the sponge does a good job of lining those hard spots. My face actually feels nicer than it did before I put it on oddly enough.

However, with the blush... I feel like it was less successful. It might be because I use a light shade, I’m not sure, but I felt like it was way more effort and kind of un-necessary. So I will probably, exclusively just use these for foundation and such.

(Just a warning, if anything resembling blood triggers anyone I’d suggest skipping the next picture~)

Water Candy Lip Tint

I was really excited to get this :3 I love these cutesy facial products and I’m so happy we get them now. I’ve seen this several times (especially for slime coloring. It works really good) and of course I really wanted one (I say that a lot but its the truth).

This is available in several varieties and flavors/scents, but the box focused on 5 different red-themed ones; like cherry, watermelon, apple, etc. I would have been happy with any but I got cherry. The booklet says these are matte, and its essentially right once it begins drying on the lips, so you could put a gloss over them if you wanted. These also moisturize the lips with hyaluronic acid and honey extract.

Now, before I rate it I have a little bit of a funny story. Right after I took the picture I noticed this dripped on the carpet o_o but surprisingly, this color blended in very well with it. I used the next item to clean up the few drops and in no time it cleaned them up!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Because of my pale my skin is (it looks darker in these pictures), I always worry that vibrant red wouldn’t look too good on me. But I can’t say I hated this, I think it looks pretty, and when partially rubbed off it has an even prettier pink hue. By the time it dries it also looks pinkish.

Now as a warning, this cherry scent... smells a lot like cherry medicine. So if you’re triggered by that or have any issues with cherry medicine you won’t like this. I actually like the smell though, I can’t say cherries or cherry flavoring was ever ruined for me either. It has a bit of sweetness on the lips, which by the way, feel a little weird after putting it on. I’m not sure why.

But obviously there is that little problem. Because this is a lip tint, it took it about 20 minutes to completely dry and stop staining. So if you’re impatient or need something quicker I’m not sure this is a good choice.

Stress Relieving Pureful Cleansing Wipes

Next up we have these cleansing wipes by the brand Ariul. Besides being a nice, refreshing wipe, these also moisturize the skin and remove waterpoorf makeup, micro dust, etc. These are also good for sensitive skin and use nothing artificial.

As I mentioned above, these also remove makeup from the carpet. They have a... sort of cleaning lemon fizzyish scent.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Well first of all I love the scent, it’s amazing and such a pick-me-up~

My skin feels cooled and refreshed, and it removes makeup pretty good too. Definitely better than just using a regular wet wipe.

Foot Scrub Sponge & Konnyaku Face Sponge

Our second to final item is this foot scrubbing sponge by Lucky Wink. This sponge is double-sided to fit both uses of exfoliating and healing dry or cracked skin, especially around the heels. It’s a lot easier on the skin than a pumice stone, which can sometimes scratch the skin or irritate it. It can be used wet or dry.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I had a particular rough Monday and was on my feet for most of it- so they really needed this. Initially I wasn’t that sure if it was helping, but I can start seeing one after using it a few more times. I love it! 

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Our final item for the box is this face sponge made from Konnyaku (asian potato) to exfoliate and massage the skin while using it, removing dead skin cells and dirt from pores to leave the skin feeling smooth. Just make sure you wash it well before using the first time. It’s 100% natural.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I don’t know, I never really feel much of a difference using these types of sponges. They feel pretty nice, and it’s really fun how bouncy they are; but eventually they shrivel up and dry out.

It’s okay...

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. Everything is practical and I love most of the items; everything did its job, I didn’t really see any sort of quality problems or issues or anything.

Theme: 4 out of 5. Everything about these items screams spa night- but the lip tint and house applicators aren’t really spa NIGHT in my opinion, you don’t put on makeup when you’re preparing for bed or just pampering yourself with relaxing items you know? They’re more or less for the next day.

Total Rank: 9 out of 10. I’m not sure if I liked this box less than or about the same as I did the last box, I kind of feel like I liked it a smidge better. As I said, the items are fit with the theme exception for 2 of them, but I thought they were all pretty good and work checking out if any interested you. The online shop for these boxes usually has in the beauty items, including some they don’t even put in them ;o

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Body Lotion - Probably the 2nd best smelling thing in the box (next to the wipes), I love how my skin feels after using it.

2. Stress Relieving Wipes - The smell is so pleasant, and I really like how useful and compact these are. I can pop them in my purse or just keep them in the car if I wanted to.

3. Foot Sponge - I was pretty surprised by how decently this has been helping my heels. I really like it. Plus it comes in a cute shape.

4. House Makeup Sponges - Not only are they cute, but it worked very well! I’m impressed and I seriously plan to start using makeup sponges more often!

5. Water Candy Lip Tint - I really like this, but at the same time its a bit of a nuisance... I find the smell to be intoxicating~

6. Face Mask - It smells really good, and it was pretty soothing. I think it was really nice.

7. Hand Cream - I like it and all, but I already have a whole bunch of hand creams at this point and in terms of smell and feel, I’d say its average.

8. Konnyaku Face Sponge - Probably the item I’ll use least out of everything honestly. It’s not bad though, and I think they’re neat to look at and feel.