#listen. im aboutta get real in tbe tags for a bit
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#listen. im aboutta get real in tbe tags for a bit#mental abuse tw for those who need it please dont read further if youre sensitive to stuff like that#im just so fucking tired of everything that has gone on with my parents and how for so long they had prioritized drugs and their unstable#relationship over their fucking children. my dad has been through several nasty divorces and drugs have been involved with all of them.#it just keeps on getting progressively worse as time goes on and me and my siblings are neglected further and further. ever since i was#little i would often have to call my grandparents to give me basic fucking things like food and stuff bc my dad works shifts and wasnt home#alot while my mom was either asleep or passed out from fucking pills. it is such a horrible thing to be raised around and as ive gotten#older and older the realization that my childhood wasnt *better* i was just unaware of my surroundings just slaps me harder and harder#and my past experiences are nothing compared to what i deal with now. for years my parents have left me to watch their children#while they go out almost everyday to smoke and purchase weed. it isnt even normal weed its this hardcore concentrated shit that fucks with#your brain really badly. it amplifies my dads rage problems and has caused my stepmom to develop bipolar issues and often is subjected to#wierd hallucinations. and the way she handles her problems and shoves her mental issues onto her children isnt good. honestly i could go on#and on abt how unstable my family has been.. but the thing that is causing me to fucking break now is how my stepmoms hallucinations have#gotten so bad that often she will make me and my siblings do wierd things and yell at us for stuff that we didnt even do. its gotten so bad#that me and my siblings often have to come stay at our grandparents for days on end untill our stepmom is *okay* again. abd normally the#next day after or so she will break down again and me and my siblings will go back to our grandparents. its gotten to the point to where i#just. dont wanna go back. im allowed to be myself and laugh and have fun and actually be a fucking kid here and the only thing that makes m#sad when im over there is the thought that i have to leave. my grandparents know my parents are bad and apologize to me alot for what has#happened and the only reason they havent called the cops or child services or something is bc the criminal justice system is a piece of shi#that would probably land us back at my parents. i hate my parents so fucking much and ive had it. i wanna tell them that i hate them and#that i dont wanna come back so bad and honestly i think im on the verge of doing it. it isnt just me that has suffered at the hands of them#all of my siblings have and i cant take it anymore. im sorry for rambling and if youve read this far thank you. i will probably feel better#tomorrow.. i just needed to get this stuff of my chest bc i hardly have the energy to message my friends about this stuff anymore.#dumb
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