#that would probably land us back at my parents. i hate my parents so fucking much and ive had it. i wanna tell them that i hate them and

[hg-aneh]

Hi,ik I've been asking questions frequently but I'mma do it again bc I'm that petty;

In the AziraCrow relationship/marriage/or whatever. Who do u think is the housewife/husband? 😀

if we're talking about traditional gender roles applied to marriage ((which i believe would NOT apply to them in canon as they're both nonbinary supernatural beings)), i have to preface this by saying that i rlly don't agree with them as a concept

[if ppl choose to engage in them and not judge others for not doing so then good for them (idgaf akfbsjf)]

i hate that they're still being imposed onto people and that they haven't been left in the past for some contexts

i also want to clarify that the following """analysis""" I'm going to make is all for the sake of poking fun at gender roles and satirizing their entire existence.

Having said that, these are my headcanons:

Aziraphale-housewife, Crowley-husband

Why? Simply because husbands are fucking useless and I like to bully Crowley cuz he stinks and he sucks c0ck and b4-

I'm just goofing around 😭

In my little bubble world, they'd be neither (or both if you wanna see it from that POV)

Let's start with this:

If we take the definition of a traditional husband, which is basically "i work and do nothing else cuz I'm a man and men have their mommies i mean wives do everything for them" and take the Work part away, which is what we'd do if we were to place the ineffables in the south downs aka their retirement shack, then you get a useless fuck

And in reality, they both do jackshit (that's the whole premise of s1) so????? does that mean they're both husbands???

For further insight let's try to affirm Aziraphale is the housewife.

Aziraphale bakes, so he's probably a decent cook too; that's "housewife" material. He also happens to be very pretty and plump and a blonde, which I've been told are pretty ladylike things to be (/sarcasm)

(There are no pretty male blondes in ba sing se good omens)

He dresses in light, dainty clothing and talks with an accent only girls and women talk with, as well as getting his nails done and using make up for his magic act, and he says "please" and "thank you", which are things only women do (I'M BEING SARCASTIC. I'M BEING VERY SARCASTIC. god i hate gender rolesAAAA)

Now this is where the comparisons end cuz let's face it, Aziraphale is a lazy fuck.

You KNOW the bookshop smells like mold and he just miracles it clean every now and then.

He'd rather sit his plump (pretty) blond ass on the couch and read the day away than actually get to doing the baking and cooking or caring for the kids (plants) if it's not a hobby activity

Now let's do the opposite and try to affirm Crowley as the housewife.

He's clean (does the cleaning), he's of service when needed, he organizes when he's stressed (read the book), he- he drives a car...

OH SHIT. MAN ACTIVITY!!!!!🤯🤯🤯 (we're still being sarcastic here, it's not over EFJSJF)

In all seriousness though, trying to fit these two into gender roles, even as a joke is kinda difficult even in headcanon-land ajbfsnf

At least that's my opinion

For every traditionally "feminine" thing you have one of them do, the other outdoes that by a mile. And vice versa with the traditionally "masculine" things, like "being useless" and "car" /sarcasm is back.

So which one would be which? I think they're both dumbasses who fight over who gets to do what in the household (neither of them wants to do anything except for cuddling) and come up with an agreement to divide each chore :)

y'know, like normal people in a functional marriage (my parents lol)

[sarah-yyy]

what: period cdrama // 40 eps, roughly 45 mins each (we’re on ep 29 atm, paid subscription required for vip eps) where: iqiyi (you can also dl the app) // youtube // (ps - usual disclaimer that i do not use eng subs so i don’t speak to the quality of subs) why: do you enjoy jianghu mysteries?? double/hidden-identities??? the shifu-complex trope??? enemies to friends (with a v Divorced-Exes vibe)?? this is the show for you. would enjoy if you enjoyed the blood of youth.

meet Li Lianhua, a somewhat famous jianghu doctor who is rumoured to be able to bring back the dead. this chill but odd man lives in a super cool caravan he built himself! spends his free time gardening and learning how to cook! he's got a cute pet dog as a companion! he is in his Zen Era, everything is going great for him*.

but i promised y'all hidden identities so, surprise surprise!! Li Lianhua is also known as Li Xiangyi, presumed dead master of the Top Jianghu Sect who has been MIA for the past decade

Li Xiangyi was poisoned + seriously injured in battle ten years ago, and for a variety of reasons, decided to retreat from jianghu to live his life in relative peace (while also searching for the remains of his shixiong). the poison he suffers from is fatal, it is emphasised he doesn't have long to live. (*except for the dying bit)

ANYWAY. while going about his day to day, Li Lianhua meets:

Fang Duobing, wannabe jianghu detective. this boy has a++ martial arts skills!! he's (relatively) smart!! he would make a good detective!! but his attempts to do so have been foiled by his Super Influential™ parents who do not want him in harm's way. all my boy wants to do is to successfully enrol in jianghu detective academy and travel the lands!! solve crimes!! he eventually weasels his way into a probationary position by telling the masters of the academy that his shifu is Li Xiangyi

cue extremely fun exchanges like:

FBD: if my shifu li xiangyi could see me now- LLH: your who???????????

these two have a funny strangers to jokingly enemies (LLH made a fool out of FBD and like drugged him the first time they met) to begrudging partners solving crimes to friends dynamic going on, absolutely a+++. FBD goes from 😤 at LLH to must protect this weak man i have decided is my best friend really quickly. i love one (1) boy.

there is also another key character in this, which really just. is the cherry on top of everything that the show has given us so far.

meet Di Feisheng. "villain" extraordinaire. has one (1) goal in life - beat LXY. "killed" LXY in battle ten years ago, but suffered severe injuries himself, so he's been recuperating for the past ten years.

imagine his goddamn surprise when he fucking meets LLH who he thought he defeated ten years ago. (side note: LLH is supposed to look nothing like LXY, but DFS recognised him p much instantly!!) he also learns that LXY was poisoned all those years ago, and was not in his best condition during their battle.

cue DFS going absolutely obsessed with curing LLH of his fatal poisoning so that they can go at it again, this time without any handicaps :)

SO ANYWAY these three go around solving cases together, while LLH/DFS also look into the inconsistencies of certain things that happened ten years ago. all the while the three of them are bickering the entire time.

tl;dr - this is the dynamic we've got going on:

FDB: this is LLH my boyfriend (but he doesn't know it yet) who is also my shifu (but i don't know it yet), and this is his extremely annoying ex-husband DFS who hangs around us and i absolutely HATE (and low-key want to throw in jianghu prison) because they are obviously hiding something from me, but also i would probably die for these two

if you need more convincing:

the cases have all been fun so far - the pacing of the show is quite good, and the cases don't really tend to drag on

the fight scenes are really cool - again, if you liked what they did in the blood of youth, you'll probably like this as well

frail and sickly Cheng Yi, always a bonus

i am going to, at some point, write fic about dfs railing fbd quiet while llh watches, someone hold me to this

[akirathedramaqueen]

Octavia's and Blitzø's potential relationship development

I believe that the show, despite Octavia openly hating Blitzø, gives us some hints that they have much more in common than it seems. I’ve noticed a couple of moments where Blitzø and Octavia are… pretty much in sync, if that makes sense.

Here are those moments I’ve noticed… maybe stretched in some places, but! Hear me out!

1. Here, they don’t hear each other, but both are repulsed by Stolas’s obnoxious language and express the same reaction. It’s funny that Stolas is the one calling them out.

[Blitzø]: WHAT [Octavia]: THE [Blitzø]: FUCK [Octavia]: DAD?! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 4:52

2. They also share a distaste for Stolas’s behavior throughout the episode, albeit in slightly different ways. In fact, this serves as a great demonstration of how deaf and blind Stolas is to obvious social cues at the beginning of the series—he doesn’t stop even when directly asked to do so on multiple occasions.

Blitzø is disgusted by Stolas’s awkward, overly sexual advances and demeaning language towards him and his work.

[Stolas]: You are so cute when you are serious! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 6:06

Octavia is taken aback by essentially the same. However, she blames both of them, understandably failing to recognize that Blitzø is just as uncomfortable as she is. From her perspective, Blitzø is a homewrecker who contributed to destroying her parents' marriage.

[Stolas]: You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy.[Blitzø]: Save it, bitch, I am working. [Octavia]: You both need to get a room. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 8:20

3. They share the hate for the same clown!

[Blitzø and Octavia]: I hate that fucking clown. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 8:50

4. They seem to have similar tastes in music! The song My World Is Burning Down Around Me, which Octavia plays to tune out Stella’s screaming, is also heard in Blitzø’s van when he comes to pick up Loona in the Queen Bee episode, although it’s only instrumental. Here, have a look. If, for some reason, the service with the timeframes isn’t working, I’ll also provide the timings in writing so you can check it yourself on YouTube.

Octavia turns on the song, and for a while, we can hear the lyrics before it fades into the background as the scene shifts to Stella yelling at Stolas and later to Stolas’s conversation with Octavia. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 2:52 - 3:50

The song’s instrumental version can be heard when Blitzø’s van arrives, and the background noise at Queen Bee’s club is different, so there’s no chance for misinterpretation. It is the music Blitzø’s was listening to. S1EP8, Queen Bee, 8:20 - 9:14

5. Haha, they freak out in the same way in the Seeing Stars episode! I know it’s probably just a stylistic choice to transition from Octavia’s initial experience with LA to Blitzø having to contact Stolas and explain what happened. However, I might be indulging in a bit of wishful thinking, suggesting that this similarity in their stress responses could have some deeper meaning.

S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 4:42

So-o... What am I trying to say with all these points I've made?

Like the kind of delulu who yells, "Ghostfuckers, save us!" (we know Viv, we know how trying to put our hopes up ends, haha), I draw a complete unhinged card and I am going to make a very bold claim:

I think that once Stolas and Blitzø finally get their shit and themselves back together, and Octavia realizes there’s much more to the story than, “Oh, it’s just horny dad cheated on my mum with a red lizard dickhead and my dad ruined my family,” Octavia could actually bond with Blitzø quite nicely, and he would make a good second dad to her! Well, don’t get me wrong. She might never want to take it to that level. Also, we don’t know how things will turn out, nor do we know her relationship with her mum, Stella.

But I do believe that their parallels were thrown in for a reason. Despite the circumstances, they can, and maybe will, be on much better terms than they currently are.

Go on, call me delusional and leave me be in my complete denial corner. <3 I admit I do tend to forget the current state of the Stolitz relationship in the series, as in my world, where I’m prioritizing my time working on that fic, they are finally together. I am bitter-sweetly excited that @tealvenetianmask and I are slowly but surely getting close to finishing it. :)

(Yes, yes, it was shameless self-promotion—sue me for the unlawful use of a speculatory-analytical post space to promote our version of Stolitz working hard to sort out their issues post Apology Tour and having some silly and horny fun along the way.)

[zeruby16]

what you did last summer- seok matthew

18+ MDNI

genre: smut, fluff, romance

summary: after your memorable summer with matthew, you thought you would never see him again. so what happens when taerae introduces you to him for a second time?

word count: 2.9 k

warnings: afab! reader, dom matthew; usage of pet names (sweetheart, angel, baby); cursing; oral sex (receiving); fingering; penetration; unprotected sex (always use protection); slightest degradation kink; slight sir kink; slight exhibitionism; please let me know if i missed any

notes: i did not grammar check this, so please have mercy. i literally wrote this super fast because i had to get the idea fully out of my brain. hope you enjoy!

REMINDER: 18+ MDNI

when romance novels would state how time ‘froze’ and the only people in the room were themselves and the love interest, you called bullshit.

there was no way everyone would suddenly disappear. it would make you look stupid wouldn’t it?

you hoped it didn’t because when matthew walked into your family’s restaurant while you were hanging out with your friends, all you could see was him.

how was he here? how did he get here?

“earth to y/n,” taerae called, waving his hands in front of your face. you flinched and closed your eyes for a few seconds, trying to gain your composure.

“what happened?”

“i wanted to introduce you all to matthew,” taerae gestured towards your friend group.

unbeknownst to taerae, you already knew matthew.

you really knew him.

“a-ah, nice to meet you matthew. i’m y/n,” you bowed your head as you shook his hands.

the hands that touched all your weak spots over the summer. the hands you itched for since you left your grandmother’s hometown.

matthew failed to hide his little smirk, “nice to meet you too y/n.” his eyes immediately passed over yours as taerae introduced the rest of the friend group.

his smirk scared you. whenever matthew felt devious, he didn’t hide it. in fact, he thrived on torturing you.

the last time you saw matthew you had left him alone.

on his bed.

after he nearly fucked the soul out of you.

your summer with matthew in simple terms was dangerous.

you had been the perfect daughter anyone could ask for. you did whatever your parents told you to, you helped out your grandmother every summer, you went to church every sunday, you were an angel until you met him.

seok matthew worked at your grandmother’s local flower shop. he offered to help you pick flowers for your grandmother and you thanked him, promising to go to the shop again. 

then, you went again and again and again. his presence was addicting. he showed interest in any little thing you mentioned, he helped your grandmother, his smile radiated joy, and he was anything you could ask for in a man.

the thing was whenever you two were alone, he ravished you. his kisses left marks, his touch made your skin burn with desire, you longed for him.

he made you break all your own rules, but you couldn’t help but go back to him every night. 

time flew by and your final night with matthew came, but he didn’t know. as far as he knew, you were a new local who moved in with her grandmother.

you cried as you slept with him, held onto him knowing it was your last time seeing him, and left before the sun could rise, catching your flight in the morning.

it wasn’t until you landed back home and your grandmother messaged you about the ‘pretty boy’ that you realized you fell for him.

matthew allowed you to be the person you wanted to be. someone who could break the rules without consequences. someone who could live freely without the pressure on their shoulders.

the someone you were though, wasn’t the person your family knew and you had to leave that person with matthew along with your love for him.

you mourned him. you had lost the one person you genuinely loved and he probably hated you now, but you lived your life.

you started your senior year of college, caught up with taerae and your friends, and forgot about matthew.

at least, you tried.

“matthew used to live in the neighborhood until he moved away. he decided to come here for his last year of college,” taerae explained, while you brushed your thoughts of matthew away.

“where did you live, matthew?” woongki asked.

once matthew mentioned your grandmother’s village, taeare looked at you stunned.

“weren’t you there in the summer?” you tried to focus your gaze anywhere else other than matthew’s eyes.

unfortunately, your mother came delivering the treats you ordered.

“yes she was, she was helping her grandmother with the house. i’ve raised such a good daughter,” she patted your head as you shrugged.

matthew knew this side of you, it wasn’t something out of the ordinary, but he also knew a side of you your mother would never want to hear about.

“okay mom i think they get it,”

“i’m sorry sweetheart, i just want everyone to know how precious you are.”

she left as you looked down towards the floor in embarrassment.

“sorry about that,” 

“it’s no worry y/n, i find it admirable how good you are to your parents,” matthew teased, knowing you would understand his underlying tone.

you started to feel flushed. matthew knew how to turn you into a stuttering mess. he had a way with words and your weakness was his sharp tongue. 

thankfully, none of your friends questioned anything. the hangout was playing out greatly until you caught matthew’s eyes.

your friends were so distracted with their own conversation that they couldn’t see how he checked you out, stared you down, and smirked at your blushing figure. 

your cheeks had to be beet red because when matthew stared at you with his bed eyes, you nearly fainted. 

the room suddenly became hot and you needed new air to breathe, so you excused yourself to the ladies room, avoiding matthew’s eyes at any cost.

a part of you wanted him to follow, but you couldn’t let him.

you paced around the restroom, inhaling and exhaling, reminding yourself how no one knew, and how everything would be fine.

then, he knocked.

he opened the door and locked it behind him.

“what do you think you’re doing?!” you silently yelled.

“what am i doing? no, how are you doing after you stood me up?” he spat out.

“matt, i had to leave. i didn’t-”

“didn’t think it would hurt? well it did, like a bitch, so imagine my surprise when i see you hanging out with one of my oldest friends,”

“taeare never said anything about you,”

“he did about you. he mentioned how smart you were, how your parents raised you to be this angel, how pretty you were, and so much more. do you know what he left out?” matthew asked, backing you into the counter as his arms allowed no room for you to escape.

“what?” you breathed out.

he placed your hair behind your ears as he placed his mouth next to your ear.

“how much of a little slut you are for me,” he whispered, sending shivers down your spine. 

“but-”

“tell me y/n, do your parents really believe you’re a good girl?”

you couldn’t speak, so you decided to just nod.

“they don’t know about last summer do they?” you closed your eyes, trying to block him out.

“they don’t know how pretty your moans sound, or how gorgeous you look while taking me. they think you’re such this perfect angel, but that’s the last thing you are. isn’t it?” he asked, starting to caress every part of your body from your legs to your neck.

all you could do was deny and deny.

“i need words baby, you aren’t such a good girl are you?” his hands started to bunch up your dress, giving him easier access to your core.

“no,” you barely let out.

“what was that?”

“no!”

“no, what? i need you to be clear sweetheart,”

“no, i’m not a good girl sir,” your body trembled, aching for his touch.

“well then i think you deserve a punishment, yeah?” his face neared your lips and it took every ounce of your soul to not jump on him.

“yes sir,” you nodded and matthew didn’t let a second pass as his lips took yours ferociously. 

you grabbed his arm full of muscle, squeezing it as your relief from the pleasure you felt. 

he took your face roughly and continued to kiss you, inserting his tongue to assert his dominance. 

“i missed this,” he said, taking a break to breathe until he smashed his lips into yours again. your body felt like putty under his and all you could do was touch him.

you reached for his clothed cock, wanting to feel him after going months without him, but couldn’t as one of his hands slapped yours away.

“silly girl, i told you, you’re being punished,” he took your hands and kept them down on the counter with his strong hold. 

he continued to kiss you on your neck as he left some light bruises behind. his hands started to reach over your breasts as he toyed with them. he used the opening of the dress to lift it higher on your body, giving him access to your torso.

this was so wrong.

matthew was giving you everything you wanted and more, at your parents restaurant, in a restroom, with your friends waiting behind. 

the thought of taking him publicly made you even more wet, but it made you feel dirty.

his hands gripped your thighs lifting you onto the counter behind you and inserting himself between your legs.

your body automatically hugged him as you kissed him again, silently begging him to do something. his fingers reached for your underwear and he hissed.

“you’re already wet for me sweetheart. you’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you?” 

“ever since you left, you’ve been aching to be ruined, touched, fucked and only by me right?” he continued and all you could do was nod.

his motions started piling on and on. the light touches of your core, his kisses, the heat in between your body, your body was shivering at the pleasure of it all.

“i need you to answer,” he suddenly walked away from your body, halting all presence of his touch and causing you to whine.

“yes sir,” you immediately rushed, reaching out your arms wanting him in between them again.

“good girl, i think you deserve a reward,” 

his hands suddenly pulled your underwear down, causing you to shiver as your core felt the cold air. he proceeded to lightly touch your clit, pressing on it at times. you grabbed his arm again, trying to steady yourself from his teasing.

his name suddenly became the only word you knew once he plunged a finger into you.

“matthew!” you looked to see his smirk.

if there was one thing matthew loved, it was to see your face contour in bliss. he was making a mess out of you and he enjoyed every second of it.

“i think my baby can take another? right?” you nodded, begging for his fingers, as he immediately inserted another.

his pace fastened as he started to hit your spot lightly, toying with your clit as he did so. 

you were seeing stars. you were nearing your orgasm and matthew wasn’t even shirtless. you tried to snake your hands over his abs under his shirt until his free hand stopped you.

“i said no touching, remember?”

you whimpered as his fingers rammed into you mercilessly.

“please i want to feel you,”

“too bad baby, you lost those privileges.”

he stayed unphased as he held onto your hip, helping you reach your climax.

you breathed his name over and over, closing in on the feeling in your stomach.

then, he stopped.

“no!” 

“you thought i would let you cum so easily?i thought you were smarter than that,” he tutted.

he chuckled at your state. the only thing supporting your body was your arms, the light mascara you had managed to run, and your whines never stopped.

it wasn’t until you looked deeply into his eyes that you realized he wasn’t done.

he squatted in front of you, his eyes meeting the juices of your pussy and smiled at you mischievously. 

you had no time to process what was going on in his head as his tongue met your core.

“oh my fuck-”, you moaned.

your legs tried to close as his tongue teased your clit and his lips kissed your core like it was his last day on earth.

his hands held your legs wide open, only allowing for you to ruin his hair with your needy hands.

“matt, please,” you cried, nearing your orgasm once again. the feeling was stronger, you felt the need to release everything.

your moans and cries became louder, but matthew was satan himself. he pulled away from your core and wiped your juices off of his mouth, smiling contently while he was at it.

you whined again, looking at him pleadingly.

“what happened? my dumb slut can’t take her punishment,” he teased.

“i’ll be good i promise, please just fuck me,” 

he tilted his head playfully and smiled, “and your parents think you’re this perfect angel.”

to your fulfillment, matthew started unzipping his pants and pulled down his boxers. his hard-on immediately sprung up and you leaned forward, trying to reach for his cock once again.

“are you sure?” matthew looked at you, concerned.

you left him last time because you didn’t want to deal with the heartbreak, but now you didn’t want him to leave. you weren’t going to let him go.

“yes, just yes.”

he teased your core with his tip and kissed you as he slowly inserted himself. you moaned in pain, his kisses and light caresses helping your body relax.

“you take me so well baby,” you tightened around him with the praise and he grunted.

“fuck, are you okay?” 

“just move matthew,” 

within seconds, he started thrusting into you slowly, but deeply, hitting your sweet spot every thrust.

“god i missed you,” he groaned as he started to speed up his thrusts.

“so did i,” you whimpered, his head against yours as you closed your eyes in ecstasy. 

matthew took it as a sign to go faster, pounding his hips into yours.

you missed how wonderfully he fucked you, but you also missed matthew in general.

he was attentive and you felt like an open book in front of him. he was someone you trusted and you felt real around him. you weren’t pretending to be like the girl your parents wanted you to be, you were you.

he drove you crazy and he proved it more so when he lifted you off the counter and hugged your body, fucking you deeply.

“matt, fuck-”

“please,” you let out, his hips ramming into you as you cried his name.

he uses the wall as his support to help him pleasure you more, causing your vision to go blurry for a second.

it was all so much, but it was matthew and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“i love you,” he said, looking deeply at you as if you were a miracle.

“i love you too,” your moans became louder as you reached your orgasm for the third time. 

matthew didn’t stop this time, instead he toyed with your bundle of nerves pushing you over the edge.

“matthew!” you nearly screamed, hoping no else heard. 

you knew the restaurant inside and out. the walls had decent insulation, but you lost the ability to think when matthew walked in so it was the least of your worries.

“good girl, you’re such a good girl for me,” his thumb rubbed circles on your waist as he reached his climax, pulling out of you and cumming all over your belly.

he kept his hold on you afterward, letting you down carefully when you told him it was okay.

your legs were done for and putting your underwear back on was probably unsanitary as they were on the floor, but you couldn’t care less because you were with him.

he wet some paper towels with warm water to help, chuckling at the stupidity of the idea until you thanked him for still caring for you. his body stilled and you realized the uncertainties he probably had.

“matt, i meant it when i said i love you. the only reason i left without a word was because i didn’t want to spoil what we had. i didn’t want to leave, but i needed to,” you caressed his cheeks, feeling them lift when he smiled lightly.

“i know you had your reasons, i just wished we tried. it seemed like you had such little faith in our love,”

“and i regret it, but who says we can’t try again,”

matthew’s face brightened, “really?”

“unless you’re going to leave town without telling me then i don’t see why not,” you joked.

he hugged you while lifting you up.

“wait, how are we going to tell taerae?” he suddenly wondered, you scratched your neck embarrassingly.

“well first i am going to pretend to leave by saying i don’t feel good because obviously,” you gestured towards the marks he left.

“i’m sorry love, i just had to let you know how much you mean to me,”

“anyways, tell them you had diarrhea or something, and i will delete the security footage of the hallway for my parent’s eyes,” 

“we should still tell them though,” matthew mentioned, you sighed at the thought.

“y/n, i’m not going to just hook up and go on dates with you without your parents knowing,” he scolded.

“fine, just don’t mention a word about last summer,”

“as if, the only people who will ever know about those nights are you and i.”

a/n: hope you all enjoyed! i'm trying to write once a week because i do love writing these, but sometimes my execution fumbles and with classes starting my thoughts jumble even more. thank you for reading though, i appreciate it!

@zeruby16 on tumblr | est. 2023

[oisins-stuff]

Starstruck

lo'ak x male metkayina reader

summary; lo'ak sees y/n almost get his shit rocked and falls in love

word count; 2.6k

warnings; homophobia, parent issues, blood, violence (hate crimes?), cussing and little gay dudes

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

lo'ak sat on the beach with his feet resting in the water. he didn't like this place. it wasn't his home and he couldn't pretend it was. "tsahey!! i'm sorry, dude! it was a joke! calm down!" he heard someone yelling and sand shuffling. before he even turned around he heard a punch land. it wasn't too hard, but it definitely hurt whoever received it. he heard someone spit, get hit again, and suddenly the yelling was much closer. he turned around to see one smaller boy- probably around 7'5- being beat by two bigger guys. "so was it not funny?" he chuckled as he tried to scoot back. lo'ak didn't know if he should help or not. getting in a fight wouldn't be the best thing for him right now. one of the taller boys got closer, but the one on the floor tripped him and tried to run. the other grabbed him while his buddy stood up. "skxawng! y/n, you're fucked!" he was about to throw a punch. y/n kicked the man who was holding him in the knee, causing him to be dropped onto the sand. the other boy punched his friend on accident giving y/n enough time to grab the one who had yelled at him by the tail and kick his ankles. both boys were on the ground in minuted, leaving lo'ak to believe his wasn't needed. "fuckers!" y/n kicked sand on the two before he ran off to another section of the beach, struggling to climb over some rocks. it made lo'ak chuckle. this boy just took down two kids twice his size but can't get over some rocks. he walked over and picked him up, gently setting him on the other side and then jumping over himself. "thanks.." y/n was quiet, which was unexpected since he just did what he did. "no problem. what were they so pissed about? i thought they were about to kill you." lo'ak crouched slightly to look closer at the boys face, his nose was bloody and there was a little blood around his lips. he had a bigger bruise forming on his shoulder, lo'ak turned him slightly to get a better look. "i made a joke- i swear it was a joke- about something. they thought i wanted their girlfriends because apparently i was staring and i said some shit like 'i'd rather have you', it was a lie. they lost it." y/n started trying to wipe the blood off of his face but it'd already dried. "it was a bit dramatic, in my opinion. looks like they almost killed you. what's this mean?" he pointed to the arrow tattoo on his back. "something about struggle and triumph. i just like it because it looks cool, but tsireya insisted it had a meaning. i don't even know how to use a bow and arrow." he was still trying to wipe the blood off. "here," lo'ak crouched down, scooping some water up before putting his hands on y/ns face to wipe off the blood, "i could teach you. maybe you should stay over here for awhile, i don't think you dropping those guys made them any happier." he tried his best to ignore the way y/n was staring into his eyes as he grabbed the shorter boys chin and started to wipe off his cheek. "i would, but i have stuff to do. i don't have food, or any of my supplies. i need to weave baskets and make jewelry." his eyes never left lo'aks. "i can grab you stuff. i'd say lay low for at least two days, even if it isn't the entire day. like come out during the day and switch up where you sleep, ya know?" he dropped his hand from the others chin, rinsing the blood off. "thanks, man."

lo'ak hopped over the tall rocks, the bag on his shoulder almost falling off. "hey, y/n!" he looked down at the boy who was drawing in the sand. he jumped up when he saw lo'ak. "what'd you bring?" he was smiling from ear to ear and standing on his toes, trying to peak in the bag. lo'ak dropped it, letting it all fall out. "some of your basket stuff, jewelry stuff, food and a blanket. i can stay over here, but my siblings might get snoopy." he sat beside y/n as y/n dug through everything. "you have siblings?" he asked, biting into one of the things lo'ak brought. "yeah, three. neteyam is the oldest, but tuk would probably be the one to follow me." y/n seemed so genuinely interested. "i don't have any. my parents don't talk to me much anymore, the made me find my own pod to live in after they found out." he picked up some string and beads and started making a bracelet. "found out what?" he watched as y/ns hands quickly moved to construct whatever he was making. "that i like dudes. they flipped out. they're trying to have another baby because they said they don't want the bloodline to end. i'm a disgrace for being so selfish and refusing to give them grandchildren." he shrugged as if it was nothing. "oh.." lo'ak didn't know how to reply. what if he liked dudes? he thought he might, but girls are cute too. his parents definitely wouldn't react that way, but what if they wanted to meet y/ns parents?

"i... think i might like guys, too. but girls are pretty cute and i've never kissed a guy or anything." he confessed. "wanna change that?" y/n joked, putting his bracelet down for a minute and looking up to smirk at lo'ak. "hey, if you're offering i'm not declining it." he winked, causing the bracelet maker to go quiet. it was obvious he didn't know how to respond after being flirted with, he probably had always been the only flirty one. lo'ak scooted closer in response to the silence. "you can tell me to stop, 'kay?" he waited for any form of consent. y/n nodded, "okay.." he leaned in closer, kissing the corner of y/ns mouth. it was where he had wiped the blood of before. he moved slightly closer with each kiss, eventually getting to his lips. they didn't have a make out session or anything, just a ton of little kisses. y/n was on his back, wrapping his arms around lo'aks neck while lo'ak held himself up with his hands on the sand.

"lo'ak?" neteyam called out from behind the rocks, startling lo'ak and y/n enough to make a small sound. before lo'ak could throw himself off of y/n, neteyam was jumping over the rocks. y/n tried to hurry and get away, but it made them look more suspicious. "woah." neteyam stared at the two, how was he supposed to react to his brother on top of some guy? kiri hopped over the rocks carrying tuk. "dude!" lo'ak flung himself off of y/n to save tuk from seeing them. "oh my god i'm going to vomit!" kiri started gagging and tuk hopped out of her arms to meet y/n. "listen guys, it isn't what it looks like. we were wrestling and he was loosing." neteyam started chuckling and kiri watched tuk. "oh yeah? his arms were around your neck. what's that move called?" neteyam stepped slightly closer. "uh- y/n? what's that move called?" he looked back, but the boy he had been kissing was too busy drawing in the sand with his little sister, both of them crouched in front of their art. "hm?" he looked up, not bothering to help lo'ak defend himself. "lo'ak. you're lips were touching. a lot. i don't think you were wrestling." neteyam started punching him in the arm. "but good for you, dude!" he walked over to y/n to investigate. y/n didn't stand up, still focused on the art. "you do realize you have to introduce us, right? and mom and dad." he walked back over to the rocks. "i'll let you do it later, but it's your turn to watch tuk."

"lo'ak, am i your boyfriend?" y/n was now playing in the shallow water with tuk. "i mean- it's only been a few days. if you want to be, you are. no pressure." he kicked a little water at y/n. "well then, i'm your boyfriend. you're mine. when can i meet your parents?" tuk was now on y/ns back, trying to climb up to his shoulders. "tonight, if you wanna." he smiled as tuk started pulling on y/ns braids to guide him where she wanted to be carried. "alright. i don't know if those guys are still mad, though."

y/n and lo'ak were getting themselves ready to go to the family meeting. they hopped back over the rocks, lo'ak once again helping y/n, for the first time in a few days. lo'aks parents were back in their pod, and lo'ak led y/n up the netted pathways into their home. "hey." lo'ak said as he turned the corner sharply, still holding y/ns hand. y/n was about to pull away when he realized lo'aks family didn't care. he was really shy about touching in public. he didn't want lo'ak to get hurt like he was. "hi!" tuk ran over to y/n and hugged him. neytiri smiled, y/n being good with tuk was a really good sign to her.

when they were all sat down, lo'aks parents started introducing themselves. y/n was really intimidated by jake, simply because he was so much bigger. if he reacted the same way y/ns parents did, he'd be dead. "how did you two meet?" neytiri asked, tuk in her lap. "i cleaned him up after a fight. almost got his ass kicked." lo'ak was quick to answer, he wasn't at all ashamed of this. "no i did not! you said i did good!" y/n punched lo'aks arm before realizing that was just a way to get him to talk. "he did do really good, actually. i saw it." neteyam wasn't choosing lo'aks side on purpose. he did see it, he just didn't care too much. "a fight?" jakes voice was slightly deeper and he seemed mad. y/n wanted to run, just to get a head start. "i- uhm.." lo'ak put an arm around his shoulder. "it wasn't his fault. he was defending himself. he did kick their asses, though. they were way taller than me, even neteyam." neytiris eyes narrowed slightly, she didn't fully believe y/n won the fight. "do you have any family?" kiri tried to break the silence. "kinda- well, yes, technically. my parents, but i don't live there anymore." everyone in the room seemed confused. y/n wanted to make a run for it. he was sure jake was about to kill him, neytiri was about to yell, and neteyam was gonna get him later. sneak up on him in his sleep or something.

"y/n!" lo'aks ears pressed flat against his head. it was the same guys who had been fighting him days before, they were still mad about it. "tsahey!" y/n stood up so fast it made lo'ak jump a little. "i'm so sorry." he ran out of the pod to make sure tuk didn't see it. she shouldn't see this. he was gonna get hurt, bad. he knew it. "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..." he whispered as he tried to quietly sneak down to his hiding spot. he couldn't see the boys. "i got you, you stupid little fuck!" one of the boys grabbed him from behind, scaring him so much he screamed. "no! i'm sorry!" he tried to claw himself free. "it's too late for that." the one holding him drug him down to the beach, out in the open. he put y/n down, still holding him by the upper arm. the other boy came over and stood there. one of them punched y/n in the stomach, but he wasn't sure which. he looked back to see the entire family had come down to help him. either that, or join in on the killing of him. he couldn't let himself be embarrassed that bad in front of them, he had to prove that he wasn't a weak little pussy like his dad thought. "fuck you!" he tried again to claw himself free, hoping it'd distract them from him turning around. he got punched again, but he managed to kick the man holding him in the stomach, freeing himself. the other tried to grab him, but he ran slightly farther and tried to make him trip over his friend. it didn't work, instead it made the boy catch up to him. y/n tried to run in circles, zigzags, anything to confuse him. it worked, giving y/n enough time to kick the back of his knees. once he was on the ground, he assumed he was okay.

the other boy, who he thought had been on the floor, came up behind him. he held a knife up to his neck and started taking him to the shore, turning away from the sully family. he really thought he was going to die. he truthfully didn't think he'd make it, he had fucked himself this time. he heard someone stomping- sprinting- over, so did his attacker. he dropped the knife slightly to look back, only to see the father of y/ns boyfriend towering over him. "you think tonowari would be happy about this?" he grabbed the boy by the hair, pulling him off of y/n. he took the knife out of his hand and drug him to tonowaris pod, neytiri grabbing the other. lo'ak rushed over to see if y/n was okay, hoping he hadn't been cut. "holy shit, are you good?" he grabbed y/ns chin, just like he had when they first met, to look at his face. his nose was bleeding again, the bruise on his shoulder hadn't gone away, and he was wheezing, probably had some bruised ribs. "i'm fine." y/n tried to look away. he was tearing up. he let himself be humiliating in front of the only people he wanted to impress. when he looked back up, jake and neytiri were there. "fuck. i'm so sorry. i really didn't know they'd come get me like that." y/n wiped his eyes, trying not to cry. "don't apologize, it wasn't your fault." neytiri tried to comfort him, but he was in too much pain to process what she'd said. "i'm so fucking sorry. i didn't want tuk to see that. i didn't want you guys to get involved. i'm sorry-" he was cut off by neytiri hugging him. he was about to burst into tears. his own mother hadn't hugged him since she'd found out. he really did start crying when neytiri let go and jake hugged him. even though it was only for a second, his own father had beat him after finding out. he hadn't been hugged like that for a long time.

the sully family took y/n back to their pod, gave him a blanket, and sat him down on a bed. lo'ak sat beside him and the rest of the family sat on the floor. "why were they so mad?" kiri seemed genuinely confused. "cuz i'm gay." y/n leaned his head on lo'aks shoulder. he accidentally fell asleep almost straight away. "can he sleep here tonight? please?" lo'ak practically begged his parents, and they said yes.

lo'ak turned his boyfriend and covered him up, crawling into bed with him once his parents had left. his boyfriend. he smiled every time he said it. y/n was really well known on the island, even if it wasn't for a good thing. lo'ak considered himself starstruck.

r-struck

/ˈstär ˌstrək/

adjective

fascinated or greatly impressed by famous people, especially those connected with the entertainment industry.

[yurislotusgarden]

pm!dazai for the event and 23?

ʚїɞ Port mafia!Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 751

ʚїɞ Tw’s: very small mention of death but it's Dazai so what do you expect

ʚїɞ Just Dazai getting used to this thing called feelings lmao, it isn't really mentioned that it's pm!Dazai but yeah... also I have no excuse for not posting for a month, simply didn't feel like writing🤷‍♀️

ʚїɞ anon if you will see this after all these months that this has been in my inbox, I'm sorry for how long this took, but I'm gonna write all the event works I never did😭

ʚїɞ 23: Moving the other one by their waist / the event this is from

He would really appreciate it.

He would really appreciate you not standing up on that unstable stool. He may have not voiced it out, but he really dislikes the idea of you falling over and hurting yourself, he would probably laugh if it was anyone else, but not you.

You were currently getting ingredients out of a higher cupboard, the things you were reaching for were things you didn’t use often to cook, so he could say that it made sense that they were up there, but couldn’t you stand on something more stable? Is that really too much to ask?

“You already took a few things out, isn't that all that you need?” He was hoping that the thing you took out just a moment ago was the last one.

“Nope! I still need one more thing.” It seems life hated him more than he thought.

He did plan on just staying in place and letting you get that one last ingredient, but then the stool decided to be a bitch and scare both of you (not like you knew it scared him) by swaying in a way that a stool for sure damn shouldn't. You didn't fall, no, you simply gripped onto the shelf in front of you until it stabilized, but it was more than enough to make Dazai freak out internally and get him to move after having enough of the whole situation.

It was obvious to him that you were trying to decide whether you should get that last thing or just get down, but he didn't give you time to think before he wrapped his arms around your waist and simply made you get down by pulling you backward, and then setting you down on the floor.

“You're gonna end up dead because of something absolutely stupid, you know that?”

“No, I won't. Besides, falling from that stool wouldn't kill me.”

“Delusional.”

“Look who's talking.”

“You little shit!”

“I may be shorter but don't call me that!”

Maybe he's the one who's gonna end up dead because of something stupid, and that thing may just be you.

He sighed quietly. He still wasn't used to this shit called feelings.

“Even if you didn't die from that, you would still hurt yourself and would probably have to go to a hospital.”

“...”

No answer? 

“What? Did a small fact shut you up so quickly?”

“...You care whether I will land in a hospital or not?” It was just an innocent question, and yet it was more than enough to get him to feel strangely warm and his heart to speed up somewhat. Jesus, you’re gonna be the death of him someday.

“Dazai?”

Oh shit. Don't look up at him like that, you're gonna kill him. 

“No, I simply don't need your parents on my ass-”

“No no no, I saw the look in your eyes, you idiot! You're worried even about the idea of me getting hurt, don't you?” The grin on your face has to be infectious right? Maybe a hidden ability he didn't know about? Because there was no way that he wanted to smile just because you did.

“You're actually crazy [Name], did you ever think about applying for a mental hospital?”

“Did you think of doing that yourself?”

“I- what the fuck?!” He was lowkey speechless inside, but you didn't need to know that. Why didn't he expect that response? It was so damn easy to predict that you would say that back!

“Wait, what do you mean you saw it in my eyes?” It was surprisingly a genuine question. His eyes were like a bottomless void, there was nothing that one could see in them, so how did you see anything like care?

You chuckled softly under your breath as if you could read his thoughts, and he didn't know if he liked that thought or not. “Eyes are the door to the soul, no?”

The door to the soul that he was sure he didn't have.

“By the way, can you let go of my waist now?”

“Hm? Yeah, of course.” The calm tone of his words did not reflect what he felt internally at the moment.

Shit. Fuck. He didn't let go of your waist the entire time. He wished that someone would just shoot him in that moment to save him from the embarrassment that he felt.

.

.

.

…He would lie to himself if he said that it didn't feel nice to hold you so close to him though.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[itsthestutterforme]

Love to Break You (Rafe Cameron Drabble)

Prompt Credit @mostlyheinous : “I’ll have so much fun breaking you.” “Eyes on me,”

Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes are my own, this is not a beta’d read, sexual themes (oral sex, fingering, p in v penetration, mirror sex), MINORS DNI, use of pet names

**

“Oh come on, Y/N. It’s the party of the year. What else do you have planned on a Friday night?” Your friend, Sapphire jested. “It’s Rafe’s party. I’m not going.” “That literally doesn’t matter. You probably won’t even see him.” You huffed, handing back her blunt and standing from the sand of the beach. “What’s your problem with him anyway?” She called after you, putting out the blunt in the ashtray and stuffing it into a plastic bag as she scrambled to pack her stuff up.

You were only a few blocks from Pope’s house. You’ll probably spend the rest of the night playing Resident Evil, not going out to some stupid party. You waited until she caught up to answer, “Him and his friends are always dicks to my cousin, Pope. The Kook and Pogue rivalry is so stupid.“So what?” “If you even need to ask that, you’re a lost cause.”

“Okay look, Pope and his friends are Pogues. Rafe and his friends are Kooks. They’re always going to have a rivalry. Don’t let that get in the way of you having fun.”

“If that’s your way of making me feel better, you suck at it.” “I’m just saying, loyalty to your cousin is what’s going to turn you into a Pogue like them. And believe me, that’s the last thing you need.” “I’m already a Pogue, what are you talking about?” “Barely, you have a full time job and save up for things. Which is more than I can say for Pope and his friends.”

“Watch it,” you warn. “You walk around here like you have a stick permanently lodged up your ass. Go to the party. Get laid, smoke some weed, drink some beer. Live a little! Damn.” She lectured. “Or don’t. I’m not your fucking parent.” She bumped your shoulder and she walked passed you to cross the street.

“Bitch,” you heard her say from across the street. “Fuck you,” you shouted and she flipped her middle finger up at you. You sincerely debated chasing after her and drop kicking her but that would probably land you in a jail cell. Someone’s sharp whistle caught your attention. Your head whipped over to see Rafe on his dirt bike. “Isn’t that the fifth friend you told to fuck off? Not the most social person, are ya?”

“How about you do me a favor and do the same, huh?” You continued to walk down the block when you heard an engine rev and a blur of tires made it’s way into your vision. You stumbled into the front of bike and saw a smirk make its way onto his face. “You coming to my party tonight?” “What point of fuck off do you not understand?” “I’ll go once you answer my question,” “I’d rather jump into a pool of shattered glass,”

You pressed the kill switch on his bike and side stepped around him when he let go of his bike fast enough to trip you. You reached out for the fence to stabilize you before sending a glare over your shoulder. “You know, I would leave you alone but you’re so fun to piss off… And it’s kinda hot.”

He picked up his bike and sent you a kiss before switching the bike on and peeling off the curb. You fucking hated that guy.

**

You were zoning out while you waited for the Xbox to sign in when you heard a faint freak of your bedroom door opening. You looked up to see JJ clearing his throat. “Shit, I didn’t know you would be in here.” You waited a moment before saying, “Well it is my room.” “Right, well uh- we’re heard to Rafe’s party later if you want to come.” He offers, adjusting the white cap he was wearing.

“Is everyone going to that stupid party? Why are you guys going?” “To stir up some trouble,” he says with a mischievous smirk. “Just sayin’. I know fighting is kind of your thing. And there’s definitely going to be a fight or two there.” “You don’t say?” He hums in agreement. “Where there’s Pogues and Kooks, there’s always gonna be a fight.” He answers with a shrug.

Pope comes into the doorway and scratches the back of his neck. “Why do I feel like you guys want to ask me something?” You set down the controller and lean back on your hands while you wait for a response. JJ’s gaze fell to your breasts that we’re spilling out of the racer back crop top you were wearing.

Pope noticed his friends gaze and elbowed him in his ribs. “Ow! What the fuck man,” JJ whined. “Stop checking her out,” “What? She’s hot, dude. I’m sorry.” They conversed like you weren’t within earshot of them. “What do you want?” You asked. “We were wondering if you can give us a ride to the party,” Pope suggests.

Sapphire’s words rattled around your head. “Get laid, smoke some weed, drink some beer. “Fine,” you said, clapping your hands on your thighs before standing. “When’s the party?”

**

“We leave at midnight and not a minute later,” you tell the group of teens like you weren’t only two years older than them. “Wait you’re coming inside?” JJ asked. “Yeah, why not?” “Sick,” he fist pumps, earning an eye roll from Kiara. You took the keys from the ignition and tucked it into your pocket along with your phone.

You wore a simple black sun dress with roses on it and sandals. Your curly, short hair was still damp from the shower you just took. As soon as you set foot on the gravel driveway, you smell firewood and booze. JJ got you a drink as you sat by the fire pit and John B passed you a J.

You were beginning to enjoy yourself and little did you know Rafe’s eyes were on you the entire time. He was half listening to girl next to him and peered at you over the edge of his solo cup whenever he took a sip. His jaw clenched when you laughed at something JJ said and JJ leaned a little closer to brush shoulders with you.

He let it go on for about thirty minutes before he lost his patience. He waited until you left to go where he assumed was the bathroom. Rafe gave a look to Topper who immediately knew where he was going with this. “Time to take out the trash, boys.” Rafe starts as he stands from his chair and shakes off the girl on his arm, Kelce and Topper followed.

“Hey Sarah, what are you doing these days?” Topper asks, leaning over the chair behind her. “Getting over you, Top.” John B answered for Sarah. “Looks like JJ’s gotta pant busting crush on Y/N, Rafe. Isn’t she your girl?” Kelce jests. “No the fuck she isn’t.” JJ stood from his chair and got in Kelce’s face. “You need to leave her out of this,” Pope suggests.

“Or what, Pogue? You’re gonna hit me? You don’t have to balls.” Rafe smiled when he saw you cross the cobblestone patio to where the confrontation was happening. “He isn’t, but she is.” John B starts, and you decked Kelce in the face from the side. You sent him stumbling backwards where he tripped over a chair.

“Hell yeah!” JJ exclaims and Rafe punched him in the stomach while Topper shoved John B to the ground. “The fuck is going on here?” You start. Rafe wasted no time picking you up while Kelce called other guys to jump into the fight with the Pogues. “Y/N!” Pope yelled after you while you dangled from Rafe’s shoulder.

“Let me go! What the hell is wrong with you!” You shouted to Rafe and he chuckled as he completely ignored you. He tightened his grip on your legs the more you tried to break free. He finally opened a room and set you on the bed gentler than you anticipated.

“Have you lost your mind?” He took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’m leaving,” you stood from the bed and he pushed you back onto it. “Don’t touch me,” you stood up and stepped up to him, not caring if you needed to look directly upwards to look into his eyes.

“Touch me again and I’ll make an example of you like I did your friend.” He audibly laughs and took a step closer to you. His warm chest pressed against yours but you didn’t dare to step down. “God, you’re fiesty. I love it. I’ll have so much fun breaking you.” “You’re not breaking anything,”

“Tell you what, let’s make a deal. We’ll wrestle for it. I win, you have to stay the night with me. You win-“ “I win, you and your friends leave me and my family the hell alone.” You interrupted, shoving your chest against his. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw his gaze darken and noticed that he didn’t move an inch when you attempted to shove him.

“Deal,” he starts. “Deal,” the next second, you moved to punch him but he grabbed your wrist. You used the other hand and he did the same thing. “Come on, Y/N. I thought it was going to be harder than this.” He taunts. “Fuck you!” You twisted your wrist outward and broke free of his grip. Sending a drop kick to his abdomen, he stumbled a bit and you tried to make a break for the door but he beat you to it.

He wrapped an arm around your waist and sent you clear across the room onto the bed. He was on you in a second and pinned your wrists above you with one hand, placing his free hand on your inner thigh. You cursed yourself at the goosebumps trailing up your body and made it’s way up to your hardened nipples. “You done?”

“I’m not fucking you,” he laughed in your face and pulled away from you. “I didn’t expect you,” “Who are you lying to?” “I’ll end the party and we can watch a movie after. How does that sound?” You eyed him skeptically but he continued to call someone. “Shut the party down,” “What? It’s only ten o’clock?” You heard the voice doubted over the phone. “Does it sound like I give a shit? Get it done.” He hung up.

“How are people even friends with you? You’re a dick.” “You can pick the movie,” he turns on the TV and hands you the remote. He kicks off his shoes and jumps on the bed as a deep sigh leaves his lips. “Is this normal for you? Kidnapping girls that want nothing to do with you?”

“Come on. Who’s the one lying now? I see the way you look at me. I saw the way your body reacted when I touched you. It’s just a matter of time.” “Yeah, well don’t hold your breath.”

**

It’s been hours since the party ended. It’s close to 1 a.m. now and you’re not even close to being tired. You had clicked on the Choose For Me feature on Netflix which put on Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Rafe eventually drifted off the sleep after he took off his shirt.

You couldn’t help yourself to looking at the toned muscle from the ripples of his traps all the way down to his back dimples. You made the decision to leave before you ended up making a mistake. Only managing to set one foot on the floor, Rafe grumbled, “Don’t even think about it,”

The grittiness of his voice sent a throb down below. “Jesus,” “Huh? What’s wrong? You okay?” He lifted his head from the pillow and you rocked your leg back and forth as you crossed your arms. “I’m fine,” you dismiss. “Do you need a change of clothes?” “Oh my God, Rafe. Just forget it.” He sits up and his gaze fell exactly where you didn’t want him to see.

“Ah, I see what’s going on here.” “No, you don’t.” Chills rolled down your spine in contrast to the throbbing between your legs. “No?” He brushed a hand over your breast, feeling the hardened nipple. You let out a gasp and crossed your arms over your boobs. “You’re stubborn. I’ll give you that.”

He laid on his back and manspread his legs as he fixed his hair. “So what do you wanna do?” “I wanna go home,” “Fine, your keys are on the counter downstairs.” He tucks his arms behind his arms, flexing his chest muscles and you nearly lost it. “Okay,” you turned to stand from the bed only to be pulled back down.

By the time you processed what was going on, his hand gripped the back of your neck and he slammed his lips on yours. He devours your lips with his, occasionally nipping at your bottom lip as he demanded access. You loosely held his face as he rolled you on your back and slowly settled between your legs.

“I can make you feel so good, baby.” He says once he pulls away from your lips and descended to your neck. He pulls your dress up and cupped your cunt through your lace panties. He rubs circles on your clit, smirking when you arch your back into him. “But.. I need you to say it.” He pulls away from you entirely and hovered over you, occasionally glancing down at your lips.

“Say what?” he brushed his nose against your jawline, his breath fanning into your neck. “You know what I want,” he whispers. “I..” “You?..” you hated that he was getting off on this. “I want you.. to do something before I find someone else to do it for me.” You snapped.

“You just had to ruin it,” he says with a chuckle. “You know what?” He didn’t give you a chance to respond before tearing your panties down the middle and gathering your juices with his fingers.

He sank a finger in, prodding at a sensitive spot on your back wall. Your mouth fell open when your walls expanded around another finger. A gasp left you, your hips rolling to match his quick thrusts. “Yeah you like that?” He spurs on, loving the wet sounds your cunt made as it took his fingers in.

He pushes you further up on the bed before laying down until he was level with your cunt. The mirror set right in front of the bed made it that much messier. He sent an experimental lick to your clit. Your head dropped back to the bed and he shoves his fingers deeper inside of you. “Eyes on me,” he commands and you brought your attention back to him.

Looking at the mirror, you watched as he spread your folds to expose the nerve. He circled your clit with the tip of his tongue and sucked harshly until he felt your legs tighten. A lewd moan escaped you as you frantically grab at the sheets. His soft licks compared to his hard thrusts on his fingers sent you over the edge quicker than you anticipated.

Tears built up from the overstimulation, your legs closed around his head and he grumbled in annoyance. Wrapping his arms around your hips, he pressed your legs apart with both hands and pierced your walls with his tongue. A wail left your lips and tears stained your cheeks. “Oh don’t cry now, sweetheart. You wanted this, remember?”

You couldn’t form a coherent thought to make a smart remark. Everything he was doing felt so good. With a few quick, strong licks to your cunt your body started to twitch from another impending orgasm. When it inevitably came, you shouted and begged him to give you a break.

“Please! I can’t take it. It’s too much,” he hovers over you again and took your entire chin into his hand. “Awe, it’s too much? You think that bitch, JJ, can’t make you feel like this. Huh? Use your words, bunny.” He fingers you again with his free hand and rubs hard circles on your clit with his thumb.

He laughs when you tried to push his hand away. “What happened to all that attitude, bunny? Did I suck it out of you?” You screamed when he pinched your sensitive clit. His eyes widened in surprise and clapped a hand over your mouth. “Shhh. Don’t want the neighbors to think I’m killing you in here. I’ll give you a break.”

He slowly removed his fingers from you and licked your puffy folds teasingly, earning a whine from you. “I hate you.” You croak, your entire body felt like jelly and your eyes started to close. “You’re really going to hate me when I fuck you to sleep,” you let out a squeal when he stood from the bed, flipped you on your stomach and dragged you towards the edge of the bed.

**

Your lips parted in agony when your sore stomach muscles tighten as you tried to sit from bed. You looked at yourself in the mirror to see your disheveled state. Sun rays beamed through the sheer curtains, alerting you that you’ve overstayed your welcome. Purple and blue bruises littering your chest, neck and stomach. Your torn dress and panties on the floor. Rafe was sound asleep, his face in your direction as he laid on his stomach with one leg hiked up.

The sheets just covered the curve on his ass but not the skin your nails laid claim to. He was peaceful as can be, like he didn’t slut you out for two hours straight. You’ve never cried so much in one night.

You tried your best to slide off the bed with minimal noise, but of course he was a light sleeper. “Where do you think you’re going?” “The deal was stay the night. It’s clearly morning.” “Is that attitude I hear, bunny?” You took your bottom lip in between your teeth and chose to be silent.

“Just so we’re clear, you’re mine. If you try to date anyone else, and I’ll kill ‘em point blank. Each and everyone. I’m all you’re gonna need. I’ll take care of you from here on out, understand?” Your mouth fell open at the hot, psychotic man in front of you.

He put his boxers back on and lifted your mouth closed. Giving you a quick peck, he adds, “Close your mouth, bunny. You’ll let the flies in. Now what do want for breakfast?”

[marisferasiop]

Two roads diverge in a forest...

Summary: Ezra is on your traveling crew. You get stranded after a crash; only you two are left. He is eerily calm, which grates on your fraying nerves. On your hike, you get the story out of him about how he lost his arm while you search a crashed ship for parts. He guides you into confronting a scary choice: stay here, and likely perish, or attempt to overtake a crew scouring the natives' camps for slaves to capture and sell, and steal their ship. What do you have to lose? And what choice can you live with?

Rating: PG for offscreen violence? Language?

Wordcount: 1400

For @perotovar 's frith challenge! Ezra is aligned with the god Tyr. Main attributes/values: integrity, choices and consequences, missing a limb/extremity, reasoning, and bravery (esp in battle).

AN: Hey I'm super anxious about this because of Expectations so here before I drive myself insane for 2 more weeks 🫣

The forest smells like age and decay, and you only sort of hate it.

“Tell me again, birdie,” your partner behind you sighs, before dropping his weight onto a fallen log with a grunt of exhaustion. You pause halfway up the embankment and glare down at his tired smile.

Why is he so insufferably sufferable? Fucking asshole.

“I’m going to kill you first if you don't get your ass up.” You wave your rail gun at his entire self, and lean against the mossy tree at your back.

Ezra huffs a laugh and nods. “I would not blame you. We’ve been marching for hours. Let's have a small respite. Tell me about your planet. What is waiting for you, back home?”

Begrudgingly, you stomp back down through the fallen leaves and rotting undergrowth to the fallen tree and plop next to him, kicking your sore feet out as far as you can reach to get your weight off them.

“Nothing. Not really. Deadbeat parents, an ex who’s probably still fucking my former best friend... I told you I came out here to get away from it.”

He nods sagely and leans back against a branch. It groans under his weight, but holds. “So why do you want to go back?”

“I don't,” you insist. “I just want to get off this fucking planet.”

Ezra hums and scratches his chin with his one hand. It draws your eyes to his pinned sleeve. “I have been marooned before, though through the catalyst of a mutiny, rather than a crash landing. My partner on that excursion was much less appealing than you, birdie. In both companionship and conversational aptitude. I too have nothing to return to. So who says we cannot sojourn here a while? This planet is not overpopulated, nor beholden to the capitalist overlords that plague so much of our galaxy. The food is – not exactly top tier, but it is simple to obtain. The water is drinkable. The air, non- toxic. The natives are not friendly, no. But they haven't bothered us.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Just because I don't want to get back to my shit life doesn't mean I want to stay in the fucking jungle, either.”

“Then I see two options, birdie. We endeavor to find and trade with the natives, if they have the parts we need to repair our vessel, or we follow that chemtrail,” he points up and traces a white line in the pink sky. “And if the folks who have that ship are not friendly, we overtake them.”

“We’ve already checked half a dozen other crashes, and nothing has been compatible. It would be incredible luck if the natives have the part we need, or if those beings on that ship are friendly.”

Ezra nods and pitches forward, balancing his elbow on his knee. “Overtaking, it is, then?”

“I don't see how the other option is valid. I doubt the natives will have usable parts if none of the ships so far have been a match to ours.”

After aoment of quiet thought, you stand and come in front of Ezra, holding a hand out. “C’mon old man. That chemtrail ain't gonna follow itself.” he takes your hand and lets you drag him to standing with a groan.

A while later, and after much inane (and breathless; you try to remember the mentioned puncture in his diaphragm and forcibly keep your pace slower to compensate) small talk, you finally bring it up again:

“So how’d you lose your arm? While you were marooned?”

Ezra snorts and nods, pausing on the ridge you’ve just mounted to catch his breath. “A bit of an exercise in trust, if you will. I chose to trust someone that others on my side would not have, and I lost my arm for it. But it was my choice to make, and therefore my consequence to bear.”

“So you made an ill- advised choice, and lost your damned hand. But you're cool with it? Sure,” you snark, slapping a plant frond out of the path. You hear him snort behind you and roll your eyes. You stop in your tracks and side-eye him. "Why am I taking your advice, then?"

Ezra huffs a winded laugh and pauses as well, happy for the break. “Every moment of our lives are filled with choices, birdie. And thus, consequences. Owning them makes all the difference.”

The spiraled end of the chemtrail looms closer in the yellowing sky, and after perhaps an hour of scaling a worn-low mountain, you can hear voices through the fauna.

“You got charges?” You ask, and Ezra tugs his rail gun from his belt, clicking it on. The whirring matches your own, and you both check pockets for more. Five double- charges between you, to split; a total of twelve shots between you. You pocket three of them and leave Ezra with one loaded and one in his pocket. He won't be able to switch them quickly; you'll have to cover him.

“Stay low and pick them off.” You peer through the foliage at the ground crew of perhaps six men, all carrying heavier weapons than you. A merc or trawling team, certainly. There are indigenous people tied to posts on one end of their small camp.

There is only one man you can see with a rail gun, staring out at the trees with a frown. The rest of them seem to be waiting around aimlessly, sitting around a low fire and talking while something cooks on the flames.

You quickly dispatch them, over and over as they scatter and shoot into the trees. Ezra kneels next to you, watching through his scope levels on a fallen log as you pick them off. When two men are left, hands raised and guns on the ground in surrender, you get up and go down the slope to the clearing.

“Hey what the fuck, lady!” One of them yells. You put your muzzle on his forehead and he clenches his jaw, glaring at you, and then Ezra, in turn. Ezra keeps his barrel trained on the other man, watching out of the corner of his eye as the man’s hand inches toward his belt. The rail gun zips loudly in the clearing, once, and the second man falls into the leaves, dead. Your prisoner flinches and grits his teeth, snarling wordlessly at you both.

“You can join your friends’ corpses as they rot here, or you can hitch a ride off this planet with us. Either way, your ship is ours, now.”

He relents, and you leave Ezra to watch him while you start digging in the pockets of the dead for the ship's starter. Finally, you go and cut the bindings off the huddled group of natives and watch them scatter. You hear a shout, and come back to find a dead body on the ground. Ezra shrugs at you and you nod, certain there was a decent enough reason. Regardless, the assholes were kidnapping people to sell, and you're not sorry they're dead. You say as much to Ezra as you clamber into the ship and prep it for flight, checking all sensors as you flip them. The ship starts right up, humming happily, and you take off.

You glance at him and then look out the skyport, noting how close the landing site of the other ship actually was to your own once you're in the air. “Would you do it again?” You ask, slamming the shields off and diverting full engine power to the thrusters until you break atmo.

Ezra looks at you, confounded, and his brow asks the question for him: do what, birdie?

“The choice you made. When you lost your arm. Would you make that choice again? If you knew the consequence?”

“Yes. I believe I would.”

“Why?”

He is quiet for a moment, watching through the window at the fast- disappearing planet. “Because it was the best choice at the time. And it was mine to make. No one forced me; not even the situation coerced my decision. It offered our enemy a moment of peace, and then a moment of retribution when my side betrayed them. And it was well-deserved retribution. So yes, birdie. I’d do it again.”

You nod, your fingers tightening around the steering shafts. “So would I. What we did down there. What I chose.”

Then it was the right choice, his sigh says, and he leans his head back, eyes closed, while your ship breaks atmo.

[the-golden-comet]

Thank you for the tag, @thatuselesshuman !

I think Noah hasn’t been interviewed yet, so he’ll get his time to shine in the hot seat….if we can pull him out of his apartment, that is.

Noah from YWIMC:

Were you named after anyone?

I dunno….my dad’s Catholic, so it was probably after Noah’s Ark….

When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh…I’m not sure, actually. I know the hardest time I cried was back in Georgia, when my school outed me to my parents. I don’t think I can ever look my dad in the eye again after the look he gave me….

Do you have any kids?

….Nah. I’m too focused on school right now to worry about starting a family. Ali said he wanted to adopt the children off the streets of Madinah, but his father forbade him. He’d probably make a great dad. He’s kind, and really energetic. Fuck….fuck, dude. It’s so fucking unfair to him.

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

That would require me talking to a lot of people. And people suck. Except Ali…I don’t know if I could ever be sarcastic with him. He’s like a golden retriever…goofy, happy. It’d probably go over his head….and I don’t wanna hurt his feelings.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

….I don’t.

What is your eye colour?

Olive.

Scary movies or happy endings?

Neither. I like documentaries. Uhhhh, I guess if I had to choose? Happy endings. I don’t like getting jumpscared by cheap scare tactics.

Any special talents?

Err….not really? I guess…I can time manage pretty well. I’m getting good grades….uhh….

Ali: —KUN HADI. 😡 Noah can draw BEAUTIFUL bridges. Sadiq, stop downplaying your talents!

….Oh. Right. I can draw….but like so can any other architect, because we need to design—

Ali: —Shaaaaa sa sa sa sa. Nope. You’re talented. Your drawings are beautiful. Your art is beautiful. YOU are beautiful.

…..thanks, Ali.

Where were you born?

Georgia. I hated it there, so I moved up to Washington for college to get as far away from that side of the country as possible…I needed to get away from that small town. I don’t want to be recognized. I don’t….I don’t want to go through that again.

Do you have any pets?

No.

How tall are you?

5’6.

What is your dream job?

I’d like to be an architect. After school, I want to land a decent paying job, work from home, draft my designs…and if that doesn’t work out, I guess I can teach History lessons online so I don’t have to be with anybody. A nice home in the countryside, away from people, peace and quiet for me to sketch my prototypes.

Thank you again! Tagging (np): @autism-purgatory , @fortunatetragedy , @gioiaalbanoart , @finickyfelix , @bookish-karina , @brigidfromthecelts , @wyked-ao3 , @sunglasses-in-the-bentley , @zackprincebooks , @cybercelestian , @illarian-rambling , @corinneglass , +open tag for whoever wants to join!

[starlemonbunki]

In a ranchuu mood so here's some late night headcanons !!!

Chuuya does all the chores at home. He doesn't trust Ranpo with any of them, but when the latter is trying to apologize, he starts picking up things to clean and cooking (burning) something for chuuya to eat. This is usually how chuuya knows he's done something stupid and/or wants something

The way the ada found out they were dating vs the way the PM found out are complete opposites. One lazy day at the office someone wondered how the gravity manipulator was doing, ranpo said something a little intimate, which had everyone surprised. Ranpo just took the lollipop out of his mouth unfazed and said "Oh you didn't know? We've been dating for three months"

The way the PM found out, there was a plan to ambush the ada for whatever reason that was kept from chuuya (mori had a feeling he wouldn't want to hurt dazai figuring their past relation, but little does he know chuuya would pay good money to kill that tall skinny bastard) but chuuya stopped them in order to protect ranpo. There was a whole "why are you protecting him?!" "Because I LOVE HIM!!" moment like in the movies and everyone just went😦

Chuuya definitely confessed first. It was out of frustration that he had been flirting with ranpo for a while now but he seemed to not be getting the hint.

"I like you you smart little asshole!!!" ".....oh. yeah I knew about that."

Ranpo goes to chuuya when he wants to buy something like how a child asks his parent for ice cream

"Can we get this" "no" "please🥺" "*sigh*.....get my wallet"

Sorry but I'm a bottom chuuya truther and something I headcanon they do in the bedroom (that I've made a fic about a while back) is how ranpo will use his ability to deduct every little stimulation in chuuyas body in order to fuck him better. He gets a lay of the land and nothing gets past him. He knows everything that makes chuuya cry and moan and whimper and scream.

It also helps that chuuya thinks ranpo looks sexy in his glasses

They share clothes but not in a fetish-y "uwu it's so big on me🥺" type. Since they're practically the same size they often get their stuff mixed up, and they don't even realize it until they get home.

Ranpo: *reaches into his pockets and finds money* oh sweet!! Oh these must be chuuyas pants

Chuuya: *puts hand in pocket and pulls it out in disgust* who the fuck left all these candy wrappers in here

Chuuya hates when ranpo makes fun of his hats but finds it unbelievably sexy when he wears them while they fuck. Something about how the weight of the hat drapes his hair against his sweaty forehead just makes him melt

When it comes to Dazai's opinions, I could see it going either way. In one, he's perfectly fine with their relationship, the slug is ranpo's problem now. He'll probably tell him all of chuuyas dirty little secrets too

On the other hand, he could feel uncomfortable that chuuya had moved on, especially with someone he interacts with almost daily. Everytime he looks at ranpo from his desk all he can imagine are his hands caressing chuuyas body, his chin resting on his neck, his nose deep into his orange hair and smelling his expensive shampoo. That was me once, he thinks, and while he may not have wanted to get back together with chuuya, he still gets a bit uncomfortable

Ranpo loves sweets, chuuya hates them. Chuuya loves wine, ranpo says it tastes like fermented grape piss. Chuuya takes good care of his hair and body, maintaining a skin and hair care routine religiously. Ranpo uses those 4-in-1 shampoo as conditioner, soap, and toothpaste.

Ranpo likes to yap and chuuya likes to listen. He can listen to ranpo go on and on about who knows what all day, even being interested enough to ask questions and react. He doesn't realize how important that is to ranpo.

Chuuya loves shopping, and his clothes are all expensive and trendy. Ranpo will only go shopping for clothes if he absolutely has to, and he hates it. It's boring walking around and fitting dumb shirts and pants, it's tiring too. For a while fukuzawa had to buy him new clothes since ranpo wouldn't even if his pants had holes in them. When chuuya found out about this, he forced him to go out on a shopping spree with him to get him all new clothes, and ranpo hated every second of it. But he did like that chuuya spent the whole day with him.

Ranpo is the one who makes the playlists. I like to think chuuya doesn't have a lot of time to just relax and enjoy music, so ranpo is the one who knows more bands or genres. He occasionally makes playlists using insults for chuuya as the titles, and chuuya says he hates it but he listens to them every night they are apart.

They're both okay with PDA, but ranpo is definitely the more clingy one. He'll suddenly manhandle chuuya while they're walking on the street bc he saw a couple walk past them holding hands. He'll be the one to initiate the cuddle sessions and the last one to pull away from a hug.

Chuuya is very independent so he doesn't act as clingy as ranpo does. But when he asks for affection, it's usually really subtle, and it makes him upset if ranpo doesn't see it right away. He's insecure and so his mind goes off the rails, wondering if ranpo just doesn't love him anymore. But ranpo is always there to reassure him.

Arguments are the lifeblood of this relationship, but in a healthier way than it was for skk. For skk, there was a lot of hate and anger involved, that was what fueled the fire of their relationship. For ranchuu, it's easier bc it's more light-hearted and the words are never meant to actually hurt. It's usually insults that don't even offend either one of them, and arguments about small things no one really cares about. But what it's based on is not as violent as skk.

Chuuya def has a higher libido than ranpo. Sometimes he'll suddenly get horny and ask ranpo to "take care of it". Usually it's triggered by something ranpo did, like something he wears, or said, or him acting responsible for a change. As for ranpo, he gets horny a little less frequently than that, but he still gets up on his high horse to call chuuya needy when he's practically climbing up his leg.

They are both young orphans with remarkable abilities, and so they've received a lot of praise for their strength/wit. So when they hear them now, it sounds almost empty, hollow even. They don't get anything from it now. But getting compliments from literally anybody else? that's what gets their hearts going.

Okay that's it for now lol, pls tell me which ones you agree with!! I'm always looking forward to meeting people with the same rarepair as me😁

[cierraonline]

HOT ONES: SIREN VS BILLIE

who will win : Team Billie or Team Siren? 

“I did really well, to be fair,” Billie expresses, standing up from the table. “Don’t you think, baby?” Billie turns to her wife.

“Maggie says I have to be nice to you,” Siren gives a false smile to bite back her remark.

“You’re doing great, honey,” Maggie calls out from behind the camera.

“I didn’t have one sip of water, one sip of milk, and I ate almost all of them,” Billie points out the items on the table. “Should I eat the last one!? Or not!?” She uses a squeaky voice that reminds Siren of the Animaniacs animation as she throws the chair.

This is Hot Ones Versus. In front of these contestants is a stack of deeply personal questions they can either tell the truth about...

“Oh my God,” Billie comments, turning her head away from her opponent and towards the camera.

...or suffer the wrath of the last dab.

“How is this fair?” Siren furrows her eyebrows.

Whoever eats the most wings loses.

“Before we start,” Siren speaks up, noticing the big difference on the table. “How come she gets wings and I get shot glasses of the sauce?”

“To make it fair,” Billie answers.

“How the fuck is this fair!?” Siren furrows her eyebrows.

“Stop cursing,” Maggie says from behind the camera. “It’s not proper.”

“I’m sorry, mutha,” Personality #3 decides to come out and shine. “I’ll do better in representing the family. I am sorry if I have shamed you,” Personality #3's natural British accent flourished. “What I meant to say, Billiet...”

“Billiet?” Billie laughs at the name.

“What I meant to say before I was told to be ladylike is, how the fuck is this fair?”

“What’s the difference?”

“Everything is proper when it’s in a British accent, Billiet.”

“Just roll the thing,” Billie laughs, shaking her head. Reaching her hand to hover over the bottle, it spins until it eventually lands on Billie, which means she has to answer a question.

“As a songwriter, there’s a constant need to document your innermost thoughts and feelings. Read your last Notes app entry,” Siren reads the card.

“Wo-oh,” Billie digs into her pocket to retrieve her phone. “Ahh hah ha!” The brunette bursts out in loud laughter.

“It probably isn’t even funny,” Siren rolls her eyes. “Billie has the sense of humor of a toddler.”

“Hey!” Billie slaps her hand on the table. “Be nice to me!” She points her finger.

“Just read the note.”

“Y’all, it’s a quote from my dad. I was talking to my friend Nat the other day, and Nat said you literally have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, except for maybe your wife and dad.”

“Momma Maggie also has really beautiful eyes,” Personality #1 came back to the surface.

“100%, most beautiful eyes ever for two parents. Our future kids' genetics are going to be superior,” Billie comments. “Anyways, I was telling my dad this and my dad goes, ‘your mom said I have bird eyes’ and then said ‘and that I look like a baby dinosaur.’”

“That sounds like something Momma Maggie would say,” Siren nods her head, turning over to the background to see her mother-in-law shaking her head in agreement. “Why are you filming? There are like 6 other cameras,” she asked, seeing Maggie recording the two with her iPhone.

“Finneas and I just released our latest project, Hit Me Hard and Soft. Do you like it?” Billie reads the card. “Oh, I already know the answer to this,” Billie turns to the camera.

“Nope,” Siren pops the “p.”

“Tell them why.”

“Billie doesn’t like songwriting, so I wrote the majority of the album for her,” Siren reveals the semi-big secret. It’s semi because it’s big if you don’t pay attention to writing credits and just automatically think the singer wrote it, but also because it was Hollywood’s Wild Child/Rap Protégé who wrote it. “And I hate it because I had to develop Billie’s mindset to write it. And this girl over here loves to show vulnerability in her music and I’m the exact opposite. So writing it meant I had to be vulnerable, which I don’t like to do. It’s actually mortifyingly disgusting, and I wanted to set my body and soul on fire after.”

“This bitch doesn’t even cry. She didn’t even cry at our wedding,” Billie points out.

“To be fair, I was intoxicated,” Siren shrugs.

“Yeah, thanks a lot for that, Rodrick and Dre,” Billie rolls her eyes, shouting out Siren’s partners in crime. “But I do greatly appreciate you for writing that beautiful album for me. You’re the best.”

“I know,” Siren smiles, flipping her snow-white hair over her shoulder.

“In addition to being a Grammy award-winning singer, you’re also a style icon. Rate these classic Billie Eilish fits on a scale of one to ten,” Siren reads the card. “Oof, this is about to take a turn...”

“Jesus,” the singer sighs.

“Why did you do that to yourself?” Siren stares at the picture in questioning.

“One to ten, we’re going to give that like a three. I had the idea...the idea was there—”

“Let me hold your hand while I say this.”

“I fucking regret showing you that TikTok,” Billie laughs. “Literally anytime someone reflects on something or does something dumb, she uses that sound... I had gray sweatpants on. I had a camouflage vest. It really doesn’t look good, though.”

“This is one of my favorites,” Siren smiles, showing Billie the picture.

“Yeah, because you dressed me. I think, personally, that day was just the first time I saw you actually take interest in my career instead of just saying, ‘I’m proud of you,’” Billie smiles.

“Music and the music world didn’t interest me at that time. I was still in my animation mindset. Plus, I was tired of you looking raggedy on red carpets, so I was like, ‘fine, I’ll do it.’”

“It was cute. It’s like a 7...8,” Billie offers the rating. “All things anime is like the coolest shit ever. I feel like anytime I have a shirt that has any sort of anime character on it, it’s the coolest shirt I own.”

“You’re welcome,” Siren smiles in gratitude since she was the one who put Billie onto anime when they were younger. “But also, how come she gets to curse!?” Siren turns to Maggie, who was quiet when her daughter cursed.

“Because you can’t go a full sentence without cursing,” Billie answers.

“What fucking ever,” Siren rolls her eyes, showing the next photo.

“You look like a yellow fucking highlighter.”

“Ooh, this is a person whose shit did not stink...she thought her shit did not stink,” Billie laughs, looking at the photo. “I remember walking around this specific event being just like, ‘I am absolutely the sickest person in the world.’”

“Love the confidence.”

“Your Assassin’s Creed outfit,” Siren holds up the next photo.

“It’s kinda hard. I think it’s an 8.”

“Yeah, I agree.”

It was time for Billie to pick up a card. “As a producer, songwriter, singer, rapper, film producer...damn, you’re a fucking workaholic. Do we need to talk to our therapist about this?”

“I’m just like a Kim Kardashian in the music world,” Siren shrugs.

 “You’ve worked with everyone from Travis Scott to Tyler, the Creator. Name one person you’d never want to be in the studio with again...You have to take a shot,” Billie laughs. “I know you...so I know you’re gonna answer, but for the sake of your answer being controversial, please just take the shot. Please.”

“Take the shot,” Maggie calls out. The whole crew behind the camera was chuckling.

“I’m going to answer it,” Siren smirks. “I would never ever, and I mean ever, get back in the studio with this person because once upon a time, I actually did want to work with them, so I invited them to my studio on Melrose, and the whole time I was miserable. They came and brought their entourage. Like, you could tell the person wanted to work, but it was like the priority was more  focused on them entertaining their people. And I fucking hate that shit. Like, if I’m inviting you to my studio to work, I want you to fucking work, not fucking twerk for a camera every five minutes while your entourage screams out a verse you didn’t even get in the booth to record yet, slapping your ass. I feel like if it was just me and them, work would’ve gotten done, and we would have something out by now. But what really did it for me was one of her friends touching me, trying to get me out of my seat to twerk.

“Ouuu, you absolutely hate being touched without permission,” Billie winces.

“Yup, that experience just makes me never want to even attempt to work with them again.”

“So it’s a female?” Billie raises an eyebrow.

“It’s your favorite female rapper,” Siren smirks, knowing the answer is going to hit in a second.

“Who? Meg—” Billie quickly covers her mouth, not wanting to fully reveal the answer.

“Couples Test,” Siren picks up the card.

Meanwhile, Billie was still in shock with her mouth covered as the crew laughed at her reaction. “Don’t bleep that out either...I’m going to write down my answer, and you have to guess my response. Guess wrong and eat a death wing. What is my favorite Billie Eilish song?”

“Easy, My Boy,” she releases her answer with confidence.

“No.”

“What the fuck!” Billie jumps in her seat. “You fucking love that song; you listen to it at least once a day and rave how you fucking love it. What the fuck do you mean that’s not your favorite song!?”

“My favorite Billie Eilish song is What I Was Made For because I wrote it as a love letter/apology note in order to calm myself down when I was in the midst of having a breakdown. The song is just like a big thank you to you for being by my side throughout the years, especially when you were at your darkest and I was dealing with substance abuse and had that scare.”

“Really?” Billie’s eyes tear up, and she has a pout on her lips. “I didn’t know you did that. Finneas made it seem like he wrote it when he gave it to me.”

“Because I paid him twenty bucks to. I didn’t want you to know,” Siren simply shrugs her shoulders.

“Well, I will gladly eat a wing,” Billie wipes her eyes. “God, I feel like every three to five business days you have me crying because you said some lovey-dovey sappy shit.”

“And you ruined it,” Siren shakes her head. “This is why I’m mean to her. She doesn’t know when to shut up and just nod her fucking head.” Billie laughs at her wife’s response. “Eat your nasty-ass vegan chicken, bitch.”

“So aggressive...I like that.” She picks the vegan chicken wing and takes a bite. “Oh hum,” she does a little shiver dance in her seat.

“Spicy?”

“Just a little.”

“How’s the spice hitting you?” The producer asks from behind the camera.

“Great,” her eyes start to tear up from the heat of the spice. “It’s a little hard to think.” She then proceeds to burp. “Couples Test,” she sings. “What was my biggest fear as a kid?”

“You had so many fucking fears as a kid; it was a little concerning,” Siren reflects back on the many fears Billie had growing up that Siren herself had to tolerate. “All your fears lowkey annoyed me, so I’m going to say the one that pissed me off the most growing up...Your biggest fear is the dark.”

“No, it was the salt monster,” she flips her board over to reveal her answer. “How did me being afraid of the dark piss you off?”

“Because we slept with each other every day. I need you to sleep, but I also fucking need pitch-black darkness to stay asleep. And with you being afraid of the dark, we had like two bright-ass night lights in each of our rooms. It felt like I was sleeping in front of a lighthouse.”

“You could’ve put a pillow over your head,” Billie shrugs.

“So you wanted me to suffocate?”

“Anyways, I was scared of the salt monster in the original Star Trek. It was really scary and caused me to be scared of sleeping in the dark,” Billie explains to the camera.

“Are you guys always like this?” The producer asks.

“Yup,” the lesbian couple says in sync.

“Now drink up,” Billie points to the shot on the table. Raising the small shot glass off the table and up to her mouth, Siren throws it back as if it was an actual alcohol shot.

“I still didn’t get an explanation on how this is fair.”

“Because you’re not affected by hot and spicy food, you fucking dragon,” Billie insults.

“It wasn’t even spicy; what the fuck were you bitching about?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just gonna tweak this question because you guys didn’t mention the right people,” Siren smirks, reading the card. “You’ve never been shy about giving credit to your early musical influences; now that your heroes have become your peers, rank these artists from most to least talented.”

“Oh no,” Billie’s head falls into her hands. “Why did you guys give her that question?”

“Lana Del Rey, Justin Bieber, XXXTentacion, Childish Gambino, and your favorite artist of all time, me,” Siren smirks, pointing to herself at the end. “You wanna go ahead and take a bite out of a wing?”

“I hate you,” Billie pouts. “I can’t do that,” she shakes her head, reaching out for a wing. “It’s the lips...the mouth is fine; it’s the sauce that lingers on the lips.” She takes a big bite out of her wing. “What’s awesome about Hot Ones for us normal people is that when it’s over, we get to keep suffering...Alright, this is a wild card; this isn’t even going to affect her. I regret telling them I wanted to do this challenge with you.” Billie shakes her head as she reads the card in her hand while trying not to freak out about the tingly feeling in her mouth. “It’s a tra-tra-tra woah.” The words struggle to come out of her mouth.

“That’s that homeschool education, y’all,” Siren points at her wife.

“Bitch, shut the fuck up; we were literally taught by the same person.”

“But I’m not the one struggling to read right now.” Billie rolls her eyes and gives her wife the finger.

“It’s a tradition around here to put a little extra on the last wing. You and your opponent can put another dab on your wings now.” Another shot glass was placed on tap by the producer.

“What’s the challenge?” Siren asks as Billie puts her hair up.

“Don’t smile at me; challenge your partner to a compliment battle. The first person to smile must eat a death wing...Welp, I’m going to lose...Watch her cheat by dissociating...she can do it like that,” Billie snaps her fingers.

3

2

1

“You’re the most talented and hardworking person I know,” Billie goes first.

“Despite what people who don’t know us or haven’t picked up on how we interact with one another think, you are the most devoted and caring person in this relationship, and I love you for that because I know you tend to pick up the slack in areas I lack in our relationship.” Siren watches as Billie’s face gets red from either the wing or her words.

“You are the most beautiful and sexiest person I know, and it’s not 100% fully because your body is built like an oversexualized female anime character.”

“You look good in the dumbest fucking clothing due to pretty privilege.” This compliment caused the room to roar out in laughter while Siren tried to keep it together.

“That was fucking awful,” Billie reminisces on the flavor in her mouth.

“Siren is the winner,” the producer announces.

“As if we didn’t know that was going to happen from the very start,” Billie rolls her eyes. “Here, take the damn thing. We live together, so technically, we both are bringing the trophy home,” Billie slides the trophy over.

Picking up the trophy, Siren faces the camera. “Thank you for having me on the show, even though it was unfair.”

“Bitch, you won. What the fuck was unfair? If anything doing this video with you was unfair,” Billie interrupts her.

“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I would like to thank my brother, Travis, for preparing me for this at the age of five by daring me to drink hot sauce almost everyday. Stream Hit Me Hard and Soft. And prepare your schedule and bank account for the cool stuff ACID Records have coming. Also, if you loved watching Billie and me fake being nice to each other, watch our podcast on YouTube called ‘Whatever the Fuck This Is’...I feel like I should start name-dropping celebrities in my DMs who wanna fuck.”

“No,” Billie groans as her head is down in her arms on the table, trying to calm down from the spices in her mouth.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

high infidelity | one

Do you really wanna know where I was April 29th? Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? April 29th 2022 (a/n yes I know some of these dates don’t actually add up, it’s just for story purposes!) Elliots POV Nursing really wasn’t for the faint of heart, which makes me wonder why I do it. Part of me knows it’s cause I’m a pathological people pleaser and like all the pats on the back I get. On the other hand I did land myself a great position in the NICU and helping babies get healthy and go home was such a rewarding feeling. I worked twelve hour night shifts but they went by pretty fast. It was about 6:45am and I was wrapping up some charting as my phone buzzed beside me. It was my best friend Danielle. “Hey boo! Don’t forget we got tickets for Bad Omens tonight!”

Shit, I totally forgot. I sighed deeply, catching stares from some of the parents visiting their babies. I hated texting Tyler about anything because he acted like everything was fine but sadly, I had to play the part too.   “Hey I totally spaced and forgot I’m going to a concert with Danielle tonight. My dad is going come over to help with Liam’s dinner and bedtime until you get home.” “Okay :) See you when you get home!” I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck. My shift was over so I handed off report to the nurses coming on shift and headed towards my car. I lifted my mask off as the fresh air hit my face, waking me up a little bit. I took my phone out of my scrub pocket and texted Danielle back. “I can’t wait…I need a girls night.” “Come to the venue at 5 so we can have some drinks and sneak front row.” Danielle worked at the venue where Bad Omens would be playing, which worked in our favour. She always got us free tickets to every event and snuck us in early to get a good spot.  I discovered Bad Omens around the same time I met Tyler. I heard Careful What You Wish For on the radio and I was hooked. During the pandemic, I found myself watching all of Noah’s twitch streams every single day. It was his way of staying connected to the fans and to fill the void of uncertainty of this virus. Something about his voice was so soothing, seriously, he could do audiobooks or podcasts if this singing thing doesn’t work out. When I got home, Tyler was on his phone typing away, probably to whatever her name was. Marissa? Miranda? I don’t know or fucking care enough to remember. He got up from the table and tried to kiss me but I turned my head and lied about having a cold sore forming. He went to make me coffee and I suddenly felt nauseous. Every time he tried to do something nice for me my blood would boil. He wasn’t doing this because he loved me, he did it to keep his image. I took the coffee from him and turned away from his sad attempt to kiss me again. “You never want any affection from me anymore, what is going on?” Oh if only you knew. “Tyler, I spend all fucking night with babies on me and being overstimulated by people. I just want an hour where I’m not touched or talked to.” “Right.” “Sorry.” I lied, rolling my eyes. I started to walk towards the stairs so I could go up and shower but he stopped me dead in my tracks. “You know tonight will be the third time you’ve gone out with your friends this month.” He shot me at me. That was the one thing I fucking loathed about him. He was really, really good at being a dick about absolutely anything. I never bothered replying to him, I just headed to my master bathroom and turned on the shower. The water felt so good as I washed off last nights shift, which was a mixture of formula and spit up. After my shower I took my coffee into my bedroom and settled on a rerun of Friends while I waited for Liam to wake up. I heard Tyler leave and I felt like I could breathe properly. 

A few hours later there was a knock on the door. Liam and I were having a nap on the couch after we had lunch. It started to rain earlier so it ruined our plans to go to the park, instead we settled on Disney movies and snuggles. His nap time was the only time I got to sleep during the day unfortunately unless he was at daycare. I slipped out of his grip to go answer the door, it was my Dad. He greeted me with a hug and we walked into the kitchen. I threw on some coffee for us as a yawn escaped my mouth. “Thanks again for staying here until Tyler gets home.” “Anything for you pumpkin.” He replies as he grabs the creamer out of the fridge for us. “Is everything okay? You seem a little down lately.” “Uh…yeah there is something.” I said before taking a deep breath. “Tyler’s been having an affair. I haven’t told him I know, I’ve been getting everything in order with my lawyer before I serve him the papers.” “When did you find out?” “A month ago.” I laughed. I don’t know why I was laughing, but somedays this situation felt comical to me. “I’ve only told Danielle because her mom is a lawyer.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I was afraid you would’ve shown up here with a shot gun.” I chuckled before taking a sip of my coffee. He half smiled but I could tell he was really upset. “Dad I’m fine. I’m going to figure this out.” “I know. Just talk to me sooner next time okay? Now that your mom is gone you and Liam are all I have.” “I miss her so much.” I said as I felt that all too familiar lump in my throat anytime I thought about my mom. We sadly lost her to Covid after she came home from a girls trip in Mexico, right around the time the pandemic hit so we didn’t know the severity of it. It hit her so fast, causing her to go into cardiac arrest and passing hours later. I had days where guilt hit me hard since she was admitted to the hospital I worked at. I wasn’t allowed to care for her cause looking after family is considered a conflict of interest. It’s been so difficult without her, but it has made my bond with my Dad a lot stronger. We talked and finished our coffees before Liam ran into the kitchen after his nap. He was only fifteen months old and could already outrun us all. I picked him up and showered him with kisses before I headed upstairs to get ready for tonight. I opened a raspberry White Claw as I put Taylor Swift’s Reputation album on shuffle, it was my favourite album by her and it was my go to while I got ready. I settled on a pair of faux leather leggings, a low-cut bodysuit to show off my sternum tattoo, and black Doc Martens. I was still learning to love my postpartum body but I had to admit, the new hourglass shape I had was starting to grow on me. 

My phone buzzed that my Uber was outside and it caused my heart to flutter. Something about the idea of finally seeing these boys in real life was making me nervous, and I had no idea why. I never put them on a pedestal or thought they were gods but it’s gonna be surreal after only seeing them behind a screen. I said goodbye to my dad and Liam before heading out the door. I was so happy it was almost May, the weather was mild enough that I didn’t need a jacket anymore. “There she is!” I smiled as I walked up to Danielle who was with our other two friends, Amy and Taylor. They complimented my look and it gave me the confidence boost I desperately needed. Danielle walked up to the bar when we got in and got us a round of double gin and tonics which was just what I needed. My nerves were getting the best of me and I really needed to loosen up a little bit. After a few more drinks we headed to the barricade and waited for the concert to start. 

“So El, are you excited to see Noah?” I furrowed my brow and looked at Taylor, “Uhh…I’m excited to see the whole band.” “Obviously, but you’re obsessed with Noah. You’ve been practically drooling over him since he was streaming.” “I have not.” At this point I was blushing so hard and I couldn’t blame it on the drinks we had. I mean, she wasn’t wrong. His long hair would make me fold every time I saw him and don’t get me started on the buns he used to do where strands of his hair would perfectly fall around his face…or when he used claw clips or… Make them Suffer came onto the stage and interrupted my thoughts that were going south. The girls and I thrashed around to their setlist and right after that A Thousand Below came on followed by Dayseeker. I cried a little bit during Without me then went back to dancing and even caught a guitar pick. I was feeling better than I have in months, I felt so carefree, happy and not thinking about what my home life was like. I wish I could feel like this every night.

The lights went dark and I froze. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears as Folio walked towards his drum set and started to play to the beat of Concrete Jungle. I had tried my best to stay off TikTok to avoid spoilers but I knew Noah came out next before the rest of the band. Before I could process what was going on, he was right in front of me. He stood there all dressed in black, his leathered hand wrapped about the mic stand and he started to sing. Holy fuck. I couldn’t take my eyes off him throughout the entire show. He was captivating as he had the crowd in the palm of his hands. His voice sounded better than I could’ve imagined, he had the voice of an angel and the screams of a demon. I don’t know if I was being delusional, but I’m sure we made eye contact a few times. He sat down at the edge of the stage and serenaded the crowd with who are you? and he was right in front of us. He was so close I could see clusters of freckles on his shoulders peeking through his tattoos. When our eyes connected again I waved at him to embarrass him and it totally worked cause he fumbled his next line. He got up and walked towards the other side of the stage, not before turning back around to look at me again…he was completely flustered. “What was that?” Danielle screamed at me as the girls just stood there in disbelief. I just shrugged at them before putting my attention back on the band. The show came to an end, not before Noah and I stole more glances at each other. I tried to gain my composure, but I couldn’t. I cannot believe I just flirted with Noah Sebastian. Also the show? Fucking best concert I’ve ever been to, so good that my throat was hoarse and I’m pretty sure my toes were bleeding. “Hey guys before we go, I just need to go to my office to grab my purse. I can’t stress this enough though, no looking for the band okay?” As much as I wanted to find Noah, we nodded our heads in agreement before heading back there. I was not about to get my best friend fired from her dream job cause I wanted to flirt with some boy in a band. I really needed to pee though after holding it for almost three hours so I went on a mission to find a bathroom. I circled for a few minutes before finding a women’s bathroom. As I walked in the toilet flushed and the stall door opened. It was Noah. He put his hands up in protest as he flushed pink, “I promise I’m not a woman.” I forced an awkward laugh as I looked him up and down. He already looked like he showered and changed. The scent of his cologne lingered over to me and I could feel my face burning. He walked over to the sink to wash his hands so I took the opportunity to admire his tall stature. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a grey Chief hoodie and white Nikes. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tattoos were exposed. My face was getting hotter the longer I watched him…I felt like a victorian man seeing a women’s ankles for the first time.

Also…Chief? One of my favourite bands? What are doing to me Noah? “Nice hoodie.” Noah smiled at the ground before looking back up to me. His eyes were so dark you could hardly see his pupils. They were the kind of eyes you could get lost in…and I definitely was. “Sorry I’ll give you some privacy.” He said gesturing towards the bathroom stall. I smiled at him as he walked past me towards the door. Noah stopped as he opened the door to turn back to me, “oh by the way, thanks for making me fuck up tonight.” “I did no such thing!” I audibly gasped. Noah shut the door and walked back over to me, “you definitely did.” “I was testing a theory that you were eye fucking me through the whole show.” I said as I crossed my arms, trying to make myself look taller but I was failing miserably. “Well, how was my eye fucking?” He replied with a deeper tone to his voice. He crossed his arms as well and got closer to me, close enough that he towered over my 5 foot frame with no problem. I was completely lost for words on account that my bladder was about to burst. “I have to pee.” “Ok fine, I’ll go.” He said, looking down at me as he grinned like a devil, “this isn’t over.”

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Dal′ton-izm

@tourettesdog

Danny should not be trusted with self care and clean up duty, especially if he couldn’t tell the goddamn difference between ectoplasm and blood.

Danny growls down into his arm, struggling a little to keep all the skin more or less together. Damn, he hated getting nastier injuries, it was always a freaking pain... literally and metaphorically. He’s busy using the other arm to fire off ecto-blasts and make shields to block the return fire. Stupid Skulker and his stupid homing missiles. Stupid ghosts destroying any sense of a normal fucking sleeping schedule. Ugh. 

“I will wear you down eventually! And when I do! Then you’re mine!”. 

Could he at least get some new lines? Danny snapping back, “tha oni ‘ay ya be owl ta cah eee ‘ine’ is ‘hen Ine ackin’ as a ‘and ‘ine fah ya!”. That wasn’t his best line and it was probably impossible to understand him, but his arm is in his mouth, so he’s kinda focused on things other than puns right now. 

Skulker sends off another rocket at him, unsurprising. What is at least slightly surprising is that right when Danny puts up another shield Skulker gets shot by what’s borderline a freaking taser. Danny glancing down at a smirking Tuck peeking out around a corner and congratulating himself. Danny making quick work of capturing the ghost after that and landing on the ground with his arm still in his mouth. Sam popping out in a second and pointing at the ground aggressively. 

“You better sit down or so help me”. 

Man they were both always so aggressive about making sure he got patched up as quickly and cleanly as possible. It was both touching and annoying, sometimes he still had ghosts to chase! Or he just wanted to go to bed instead of dealing with being bandaged up or stitched or wiped down. Granted the stitching was usually a little more necessary, like it definitely was right now. 

So he floats himself down to the ground, back against a wall and opening his mouth to let Sam inspect it and get to work doing patch up. 

“Zone Danny, way to really fuck up your arm”.

Danny pouting, “hey blame Skulker, not me. I actually tried to protect myself pretty well I think, it’s not my fault he managed to spear a goddamn grappling hook through my arm”. The guy nearly took his arm off entirely with that shit, dumb jerk. Though that was probably part of the point since the dude wanted trophies and shit, he could absolutely see Skulker freaking mounting his arm on a wall or something. 

Sam sighs, wiping his arm down overly thoroughly, “I know I know, it’s just a pain to clean up this level of damage and I’m allowed to worry about your dumbass; also, nice fang marks”. 

“Worrying about my ass is fair, sitting on this hard ground is gonna make it go numb”. She smacks him over the head for that one before getting to work on the stitching. 

Tuck’s off spraying some of the ecto mess on a wall, that dissolve crap Danny’s folks made works like a freaking charm, like well enough that he’d be legit worried they’re could get away with murder. All three going still for a second at the sound of a hover board, Danny turning him and Sam invisible while Tuck goes and crawls himself under a dumpster. Val/Red doesn’t do more than fly by at least, good. Danny grumbling quietly, “you know, if we didn’t stick around alleyways for cleaned up time, we wouldn’t have to worry about that so much”. 

Tuck crawling himself out, whisper hissing, “dude, we can’t leave your mess everywhere. The other ghosts are one thing, you’re different”. Sam only huffing and working a little more quickly on her stitch work, it looked like she was nearly done at least and fuck is he glad his pain tolerance could solidly kick ass these days. 

Danny whisper hissing back, “I don’t see how? Even if my parents, so called ghost experts, stumbled upon this, how would they even tell my stuff from any persons or ghosts stuff? My folks aren’t nearly thorough enough to take literally millions of samples”. 

Sam pausing a little, “don’t be stupid”.

“I’m not being stupid. Like yes I’m sure stumbling across massive messes and stuff would be very upsetting for the towns folk but people have gotten used to weirder. I mean, I’ve overshadowed Jason, like, eight times now and the guy isn’t even surprised anymore”. 

Tuck, scrubbing the edge of a newspaper stand, chuckles, “okay yeah that guy has terrible luck with you, didn’t you also accidentally set his water heater on fire?”, shaking his head and looking underneath the newspaper stand, “and it’s less about people freaking out and more about them wondering why there’s freaking human blood mixed in with the ecto”. 

Okay now Danny just goddamn confused. Glancing around at what little remained of the mess as well as looking his -slightly messy again- arm over without moving it, “the heck you talking about? Everything’s glowing, why would anyone think any of this was human”. 

“Okay sure, yeah, your human blood glows too but it’s clearly human blood, man”.

“No? It’s not?”. Literally the only difference between ghost ectoplasm and human blood was wether or not it glowed. If his human blood glowed then how would literally anyone know its wasn’t ectoplasm unless they went around sampling literally every drop they could find. Even then if some traces of human blood showed up in an ecto sample it could just be written off as freaking transfer or whatever. 

Sam looks up at him like he’s stupid, while grabbing out the wrapping, her pausing at Danny pretty clearly looking goddamn legit confused. “Danny... are you seriously saying you can’t see a difference between your ‘mess’ and everything else?”; she sounds actually worried about him. 

Well that was concerning, is he not seeing something they are? Because of the half dead thing? Sure, obviously goddamn dying changed his body, like duh, but he’d like to think he didn’t really lose anything a fully living human had. Or maybe it was because of the life long ecto-contamination? Danny shaking his head results in Tuck rubbing towels in some of the mess in different spots and holding it up at him with a head tilt. 

Okay Danny’s going to guess that the towels, or the mess that’s on them anyways, look different to the guy. Still don’t to Danny... “if you’re trying to ask me if I think those towels look different from each other or something, they don’t”, tilting his own head, “how the heck do they look different to you?”.

Tuck drops his arms and the towels right on the ground, fully gapping at him, “dude”.

“Okay now you’re starting to worry me. They’ve both got a glowing mess on them so obviously ecto, the glow is literally the only difference between ecto and blood”.

Sam buries her head in her hands and actually starts laughing, “oh- oh my zone- no, Danny. Oh- ha!”. 

“Sam stop laughing, damn it, you’re gonna make me laugh and this should be serious”, Tuck snickers a little anyways before clearing his throat, “Danny, man, Zone, how can you not tell they’re two completely different colours”. 

Danny blinking owlishly, “what”. Tuck just losing it at that, sitting on his ankles and laughing into his hands. Wait a minute, Danny blurting out, “are you saying I’m fucking colourblind and just didn’t goddamn notice?!!?”. How???

Tuck wheezes a little more while Sam struggles to contain herself and actually clamp Danny’s wrapping in place. Tuck walking over while fiddling on his pda, shoving it in his face, “okay okay, we, ha, should definitely make sure this isn’t a half-dead thing”, wiggling the pda. “So what numbers in the circle?”.

Danny blinks at the screen. Oh damn it, screw him. There’s no damn number at all, he is so totally colour blind. Groaning and rubbing the hand that isn’t attached to an injured arm down his face, “ugh”.

“Well?”.

Danny sighing, “it’s just a circle, dude. Fuck my half life”. Rubbing his face some more as both of them snicker at him mockingly but also clearly in pure goddamn surprise. Well, at least it wasn’t a dead thing. Yay? Dropping his hand and then using it to gesture at the somewhat still there mess, “so all of this doesn’t look all the same?”.

Tuck laughs, shaking his head and then snorting, “no, man. It’s mostly ectoplasm, which is green by the way. But there’s also splatters and swirls of your human blood, which is red”, he chuckles again, “those two colours are about as different as yellow and black”.

Danny winces, okay so it was noticeable. Shit. Sam patting his shoulder, “you’re patched and at least now I know why you suck at cleaning and were always so lax about it. You would be so screwed without us”.

Okay that Danny can’t help laughing at himself, “oh yeah! my blood and ecto mix would have gotten found out in a month!”.

“Try three days, you combative little shit”.

Danny absolutely sticks his tongue out at Sam for that, but watching his two friends get up and start cleaning the area again; occasionally shaking their heads in disbelief or snickering some more. At least they usually didn’t try and make him help since he was usually supposed to be spending his time healing aka not moving around a ton. Tuck actually left him his precious pda so Danny fiddles with it looking up random colourblindness tests.

…

He doesn’t seem to have any other issues but he fails every red/green one horrifically. Even the ‘super easy’ ones. The universe must really goddamn hate him to make him extremely colourblind but literally only to basically his own blood/ecto. Stupid body, stupid eyes. Wait, him blurting out, “holy shit does this mean that Vlad doesn’t have the same eye colour as me?!?”.

Both of them burst out laughing and fall over each other, smacking each other and random things. Tuck wheezing, “NO!”. Sam snickering, “oh that is too good! I mean it’s sad but ho!”.

Danny sticking his arms out to the side, pda cradled in his lap, “but that means we have literally nothing in common physically? Who would want a son that looks zero percent like them?!?!?”. Their laughter only gets louder and eventually he’s laughing again too.

“What is going on here?”.

All three still, still goddamn laughing though because shit you can’t just stop that shit on a dime. Danny snorts, coming up with something on the fly before Red -fuck is her outfit even actually red????- decides to start shooting him, “I, ha, am apparently fucking colour blind and, ha, these two citizens decided to absolutely lay into me for not realsing there was human blood here”.

“I just flew through here! I thought someone got hurt and was looking for them! You jerk!”, she actually sits down on her board, “so this is how I find out that the only other remotely decent sorta coworker in this town can’t tell if something blood or ectoplasm. Zone that’s stupid and I hate it”.

Danny snorting while Sam and Tuck continue making half assed laughter-fuelled attempts to clean. “What? You gonna give me a way to beep you in case I ever stumble upon a mess again?”, and chuckles to himself.

She groans loudly, “i hate that that’s a good idea”. Which makes Danny bark a loud laugh, “oh man is being fucking colour blind what gets Red to stop ridding my ass! Ha!”, clearing his throat and tilting his head at her in a way he hopes looks puppy-like, “is your suit even red? I will whole ass admit to thinking you picked your colour because the ecto blended into it”.

He can tell she’s staring at him, “I’m going to kill you a second time, Phantom”.

“Been there, tried that. Do something more original”.

Red goes from glaring bloody murder at Danny to looking at the teens who’ve basically cleaned everything, meaning that Val won’t realise the RED human blood had been glowing. “Will you two care if I end the town menace?”.

Sam glares but is still too amused for there to be any real bite to it, “this is the funniest shit I’ve ran into all week don’t you dare sully that”. Tuck just giving an agreeing thumbs up while snickering and wiping off a storm drain.

Red sighing, “that’s fair”, pointing aggressively at Danny, “it is red and ectoplasm does not blend in, zone I hate you”, gesturing at random bits of wall and ground, “now is there an injured person or not?”.

All three shaking their heads immediately, Tuck giving the crappy excuse of, “bad nose bleed plus sudden ghosts plus face-planting into a wall. I’m fine”.

Red scowl could be heard in her voice, “good, now I’m going to bed”, her moving to fly off with a grumbled, “my suit was supposed to remind him and the town of my human blood, stupid ghost jerk”.

Okay fine that is hilarious, eventually Tuck comes over and gives him a high five, “congrats on not getting shot”. Sam shakes her head, “I’m more impressed she’s chilled out even remotely”, pointing at both boys, “but you know that excuse will never work again, right?”.

Danny blinking and smirking, “so what you’re saying is I should start being super cautious and just constantly send photos of murky liquid for a colour check?”.

“As much as I have no problem with you filling my phone with gore, I don’t want the cops to one day question me about that”.

Tuck elbows her, “eh I can set up a fully secure time deletion. Start lowkey stealing all snapchats users after I release it on the masses”.

Danny stretching and swatting Tuck one, “that sounds like you’re attempting to take over the world big brother eye in the sky style”.

“I totally could”.

Sam rolling her eyes, “I don’t even disagree”, her glancing around before nodding to herself, “looks like we’ve dealt with everything. How’s the arm?”.

Danny gives the limb a shake before grinning, “healed as fast as ever. And no seepage on the bandages so no, you don’t need to redo it”.

She puts her hands on her hips, “i don’t think you should ever be the judge of that. But fine, I guess it looks fine. Meaning we should get outta here before someone changes their mind”.

“Yeah yeah yeah”, rubbing his neck, glancing around, and changing back human. Eyeing his arm for changes and shrugging when he doesn’t see any olive murky liquid, “is my blood always a weird mix of colours?”.

Tuck patting his shoulder as they all begin to move out of the alley, “yeah, hence why we always try to hide you or cover it all the time. Did you just think we were being weirdos?”.

Danny rubbing his neck and glancing around, “I mean, yeah? More overprotective than weird”. They both shake their heads and chuckle at him and his generally stupidity.

In the future Danny did absolutely become just as cautious of others seeing his blood as his friends were, much to their relief and amusement.

End.

Prompt: Danny is red-green colorblind. This never caused him much trouble before the accident, but now, well... It would have been nice to know beforehand that his blood was the wrong color.

[pacinglikeghosts]

Happy belated Valentine’s Day, my loves! As Valentine’s Day is a fem holy holiday, I wanted to share the love. My take on one of my favorite rom-coms’ most iconic scenes, ronance-ified! I don’t have the energy to give you the song and dance of a moodboard, so imagine it’s pretty :) I’ll put one in when I’m up for it.

Frankly, Robin’s night couldn’t get worse. Not that it was bad to start—house parties are never her thing, especially ones that welcome the presence of Tommy H. and Steve Harrington—but babysitting Nancy Wheeler and being a couples counselor for her stupid younger brother made every part of the evening grow more and more insufferable.

And who knew that Nancy Wheeler, with her baby bird frail body, would be so damn heavy when drunk? Sure, alcohol added a bit of weight, but carrying Nancy’s concussed body away from the party was like carrying a ton of bricks.

“This is so patronizing,” Nancy insisted. “I’m fine.”

Robin rolled her eyes and adjusted her grip. “God, leave it to you to use SAT words when you’re drunk, Ms. Spelling Bee Champion, and clearly you’re not, since you whacked your head on an incredibly expensive chandelier and practically passed out in my arms—you’re welcome, by the way—only to nearly pass out again once we got outside.”

“I don’t think so,” Nancy sang, pushing Robin away from her and attempting to walk towards the car, only to stumble and fall onto the damp grass. “Fuck me,” she cursed, staring at the grass stains on her pastel pink pants.

“C’mon, up you go,” Robin encouraged, offering her hand to help Nancy up. “No use staying on the ground where you could also get hypothermia.”

Nancy, rather than get up, stared up at Robin, her big blue eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “Why are you doing this? I mean…helping me? Making sure I get home safe.”

“Like I said, you probably have a concussion. If not checked out I’m pretty sure it can have serious damage to the brain, not to mention the headaches, the nausea, the dizziness, and the light sensitivity…”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “Like you care what happens to me.”

“Of course I do, otherwise I’d have to find someone to go out with that actually cares about me, and god only knows no one’s banging down my door in order to spend more time with the school’s resident dyke,” Robin laughed, though there wasn’t an ounce of joy in her expression. She sighed, before joining Nancy on the cold grass. “So why do you let them get to you?”

Nancy leaned back, her elbows failing to brace her and instead landing flat on her back. “You mean Tommy and Carol?”

“And Steve, I guess.”

“I hate him. And them. I hate all of them.”

Robin coaxed Nancy up to a sitting position before crossing her legs and staring at the worn laces of her boots. “Well, coming here gave you the perfect chance to take part in your revenge by mainlining cheap vodka.”

Nancy’s face softened before she laughed, encouraging Robin to laugh alongside her. “Well, you know how it is…” she trailed off, closing her eyes.

“No, how is it?” Robin asked, looking over at Nancy. “Hey, Nancy, Nance, wake up…I told you not to go to sleep, your parents would have a warrant out for my arrest if they found out you died at a party because of me, c’mon..”

Nancy opened her eyes, exhaustion still lingering on her face. “Your eyes have a bit of gold in them,” she noted, before rolling over and vomiting.

Steve Harrington owed Robin more than just cash after this.

[penny00dreadful]

Spies AU - Part 4

Part 1 Part 3 Part 5 AO3

5th July 2015

Steve hated the safehouses. He fucking hated them.

They were always stuffy and dusty and musty. Impersonal and way too quiet. 

Everything he despised in a home. Everything that reminded him of his parents home. 

He was right when he’d thought he hadn’t been given a concussion, thank god for that. He just had a hell of a headache once the adrenaline wore off. 

Though if he had gotten a concussion he could have easily slipped out of the debrief he was brought to almost immediately after the taxi dropped him off at the safehouse.

Hopper descended on him as did Robin and one of The Agency’s best medics, Angie.

Robin had refused to let go of his hand after she had thrown herself at him, squeezing his fingers so tight it was like she was trying to fuze their hands together.

Hopper was relentless. He wanted Steve to go over everything in excruciating detail while Angie inspected the back of his head where he’d been hit.

Steve knew it would probably come around to bite him in the ass but something stopped him from giving up Eddie.

He didn’t mention that he was Kas, he didn’t mention that it had been Eddie interrogating him in that underground room, he didn’t mention Eddie full stop.

But Hopper could tell he was hiding something, that he was holding back. So Steve heaved a heavy sigh while Angie snapped at him to stop moving his head, and told Hopper that he couldn’t say anything.

Hopper’s moustache twitched, his signature sign of frustration while he paced up and down on the safehouse's threadbare rug. Steve was sitting in one of the rickety dining chairs, pulled into the sitting room, while Angie poked around in his hair, trying to locate the wound amongst all of the dried up blood coating the back of his head.

Robin was on the couch right next to him, their hands entwined and resting on the arm.

“What the hell do you mean you can’t say anything, kid?” Hopper glared at him, keeping his head fixed in Steve’s direction, like an owl, even though he swivelled his body around to continue his back and forth walk. “Are you being threatened?”

Steve went to shake his head but Angie tightened her fingers to stop him moving. “No.”

“Coerced?”

“No.”

“Discovered?”

“It’s nothing like that, Hop.” He sighed.

“Then by all means, inform me, your boss may I remind you, as to why you are leaving potentially vital information out?” Hopper barked back.

“Because-” 

Well. He’d already landed himself in the shit by keeping his mouth shut. He’d better pull out the big guns and hope that Hopper wouldn’t skin him alive if it all came out.

“Because I have an informant.”

Robin snapped her head over to him, Angie’s hands paused behind him for a moment before picking back up and Hopper froze where he stood.

“You have an informant?”

“Yeah.”

“After three whole days on the job and one observation mission?”

Steve sighed again. “Yes.”

“An informant for the Creel Crime Syndicate?”

“Hopper-”

“Even though every informant we have ever had for Creel has lasted all of five minutes?”

“Which is exactly why I’m not saying anything. To anyone. Robin doesn’t even know who it is.”

Hopper turned his glare towards her. She squeezed Steve’s fingers tight but squared her shoulders nonetheless. 

“We were told to stop using the communicators for unnecessary chatter and there was no reason to chatter during observation. I had no eyes or ears in the area at the time.”

Hopper sighed, running his hand down his face.

“And I suppose if this informant works out you want to try and recruit them like you did all your other little children?”

“Hey.” Steve scowled. “They all worked out didn’t they?”

“Not without taking several years off my life.” Hopper grumbled back. “So this informant is gonna get you closer to Creel, are they?”

Steve couldn’t help but grimace.

Eddie was hardly gonna walk him to Creel’s bedroom door, but it was the only way he was keeping him safe from the prying eyes of The Agency.

So far.

Steve was just… feeling the guy out first before he let his employers know he now knew the face of one of their most wanted.

“So they can’t get you to Creel?”

“It’s not as simple as that.” Steve shook his head, trying to think of some way he could conceivably lie and get away with it. 

Well, the best lies had truth in them, didn’t they?

“When I first met him, I didn’t know he was a part of Creel’s syndicate. Then spotted him again, picking weed at the warehouse.”

“So he’s a dealer?”

“He never said that to me, but I know what I saw at the warehouse.”

Hopper dug his fingers into his eyes. 

“Alright. But just promise me one thing, Harrington.”

“Shoot.”

“Promise me you’re not thinking with your dick?”

Robin barked out a laugh and Angie had to let go of his hair to stop herself from pulling it while she giggled. 

“Hopper!” He shouted, outraged and a little amused.

“You have a history, kid.” Hopper shouted back, exasperated while Robin vibrated with giggles next to him.

“I’m calling HR.”

“Good! Do it! Maybe Joyce can slap some sense into you.”

Scene scoffed and tried to cross his arms, but Robin refused to let go so he ended up with one arm over his chest while Angie began rooting around in his hair again. 

“Okay, okay, okay.” Hopper waved his hands around trying to calm them down. “Listen I get why you’re playing this very close to the chest. Informants are delicate and to be honest I’ve been concerned about the amount of Creel informants we've lost-”

“Steve, did you stitch this up already?” Angie cut in from behind him, holding his hair apart.

“No? There’s stitches?”

“Yeah.” She sounded confused. “They’re a little choppy and a little rushed but they’re there. That must be why I had such a hard time finding the wound. It’s been closed. And you didn’t go to a hospital or anything?”

“No, I came straight here.”

“Huh.” Angie stared at the back of his head for a few moments more before nodding to herself and starting to pack up her stuff. “I guess there’s nothing left for me to do here then. Keep an eye on it for swelling or infection. Call me in about a week and I’ll take them out.”

“Who stitched you up?” Robin asked him.

“I- I don’t know.”

Bullshit. He said to himself. You know. You know exactly who did it.

“Angie, did they look professional at all?” Hopper asked.

She shook her head, blonde curls bouncing around in her ponytail. “No. Someone knew what they were doing alright, but it wasn’t practised enough to be someone who did it every day.”

She smiled and nodded at all of them, snapping the lid shut on her giant first aid kit and quickly stepped outside.

Steve couldn’t blame her. 

He was desperate to go home himself, but until his apartment was done being inspected and surveilled (standard practice, kid), he was stuck here.

Hopper and Robin volleyed back and forth with each other about who might have helped him, but he just kind of shrugged it off.

If it hadn’t been Eddie (which it was), then it was some good hearted stranger at the warehouse or the building he was held in which seemed… unlikely.

Maybe Eddie had just wanted to keep him alive for his interrogation?

But then why had he let him escape?

Because Eddie had let him escape, there were no two ways about it.

Fucking Eddie. 

If that even was his name.

God Steve was pissed.

Not because the guy flirted with him and got him fucking interested and was stupid fucking hot on top of being stupid fucking dangerous which only added to the hotness… 

No, it wasn't because of the flirting. Steve didn't feel duped or taken advantage of or hurt because the flirting had been real.

Eddie… Kas… whatever his fucking name was, was attracted to him. 

That much he knew for a fact.

The guy could hide behind his meek druggy persona, his wide eyed innocence that got Steve to lower his guard, even his cocksure and braggadocious attitude that seemed closer to the real thing than anything Steve had seen before. 

Eddie could control his facial expressions, his hand movements, how he held his body, how he reacted to things. 

Yeah, the guy could act with all of those but the one thing that was impossible for him to hide were his fucking eyes.

Those big stupid fucking eyes that Steve could see even now in his own head as he said his goodbyes to Hopper and Robin. 

He’d never seen eyes like them. 

Irresistibly dark, unfathomably deep, huge and emotive and so fucking addicting. 

But no amount of acting could hide just how wide his pupils had gotten at Steve biting back, tied to a chair and bratting out far more than was smart. 

The attraction was mutual and they both knew that. 

So, no. 

Steve wasn’t pissed because he’d been flirted with and played with. In some fucked up way that just made things more enticing because Steve was fucking crazy apparently.

No, Steve was pissed because no one had ever, ever been able to fool him so effectively before. 

When Eddie stumbled into his path in the alleyway Steve had fallen for the down-on-his-luck-pickpocket routine hook, line and sinker. 

It was like the guy had a direct line to his fucking weakness for people that needed a helping hand and he had fired on it with startling precision. 

And he’d done it so well. 

If Eddie had gone into the movies, surely he’d be an A-Lister by now because the guy was flawless in his execution. 

And as the days passed by, stuck here rather than comfy at home because he’d been fucking kidnapped or some shit and The Agency wanted to be sure his home hadn’t been compromised, he was still fucking thinking of him.

Steve pottered around the kitchen of the safehouse, a small and cramped duplex on the outskirts of the neighbouring city, dragging battered pots and pans out of the cupboards and missing his own copper ware desperately. 

It was fucking drafty, the bed was lumpy, the entertainment consisted of a deck of cards, an old battered red radio and an ancient tv with bunny ear antennas. 

And it smelled weird.

He wasn’t even allowed to have Robin chattering away in his head, on the communicator, to stave off the boredom.

Had to be official business.

Steve huffed as he slammed the pot down on the old gas cooker and hysterically had the urge to stomp his foot at the injustice of it all. 

Fuck Eddie. 

That fucking beddable prick. 

This was all his fault.

How did he have Steve figured out so easily?

There was no way he’d just happened upon him in that street. 

How long had Eddie been watching him?

Was he scoping Steve out? Figuring out how he’d react to a surprise?

Or a person in need? If he’d help some poor fucker casing him so he didn’t get his kneecaps caved in?

But why would he need to know that?

How long had Steve been followed by a master assassin and not known it?

And what was with the whole fuckery in the warehouse?

Eddie had known he was there. Had he planned to have himself pulled into that room and threatened?

He must have.

It made sense. 

The boss who’d pointed the gun at him, the gun that Steve remembered feeling unusually empty, had been shaking.

He’d been nervous.

No. More than nervous.

That boss had been scared.

Steve hadn’t seen it at the time but that big, gruff, military boss had been shit terrified.

Of Eddie.

Which, Steve supposed, was a reasonable thing to be.

If he had known the whole time that Eddie was Kas he would have been just as wary in that alleyway.

So that just left one more question.

Why was Steve still alive?

Eddie had killed people under far more difficult circumstances. He’d probably disappeared people as well, but those were all unconfirmed because they were never found again.

So why hadn’t he killed him in that alleyway?

Or after Steve knocked out that big boss?

He hadn’t even raised a hand to him while Steve was bound and restrained in what was clearly Eddie’s personal… workspace, considering how comfortable he was in there.

What the fuck was going on?

It couldn’t all be because he thought Steve was a pretty face, so what else could it be then?

Steve didn’t have the answers and he just couldn’t deal with that. He refused to be so behind if this was to be a cat and mouse chase like Eddie practically admitted it was.

Jesus Christ, he didn’t even know if that was his real name!

No. No. This ended now. 

If Eddie wanted to fucking play, Steve was more than willing to put them both on the same level.

But even then, he’d already given Eddie a bit of an advantage, one that he couldn’t even explain to himself, no matter how he tried. 

But he knew why he’d kept Eddie’s identity to himself.

If he had been honest he might have been taken off this job. And he refused to let that happen. There was no way he was going to let Eddie away with fucking around with him. 

But deep down he knew it was also something else. 

Deep down he knew that if he revealed Eddie’s identity to The Agency, he’d be putting his life in danger.

The Agency wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to have someone like him removed.

They would aim for arrest or detainment but Eddie would never go quietly. 

Steve could tell that much already.

And it would get him killed.

He didn’t exactly want Eddie dead. He just wanted to even the playing field a little.

As much as he had been desperate to get back to his own apartment, when he was given the all clear to say it was safe again, he didn’t savour it like he probably should have.

He was marching down his hallway before his front door had even closed fully behind him. 

His office was a small room, across from his bathroom. The large hardwood desk held two monitors with a state of the art computer tucked underneath that could do far more than the average PC sold at Best Buy.

Steve threw himself down into his chair and as soon as he had the computer booted up, he began to work.

By the time he glanced back down at the clock on screen to check the time, he nearly had to do a double take.

Steve whipped around to look out the window and sure enough it was dark.

He’d been trawling the internet for any trace of Eddie for five hours?

Jesus, maybe he was a little obsessed.

But was it obsession or was he just doing his job?

Maybe a bit of both.

He hadn’t really come up with much.

All he had was a common first name to go off of. Adding onto that, he couldn’t even be sure if Eddie’s first name was Edward. 

It could be Edgar, Edwin, Edmund, Edison…

And trying to research ‘Eddie’ along with the most common hard rock or metal bands was the opposite of helpful.

He’d mostly just come across articles upon articles about Iron Maiden’s mascot or deep dives into Van Halen’s albums.

And trying to search ‘Eddie’ along with ‘metal’ and ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ just led to posts from people describing their player characters that they had based off of the Eddie mascot.

Steve pushed his chair back and leaned his head on his desk, thumping it against the wood a few times.

Research was not his specialty.

It was literally what he had Robin for. 

His guy in the chair.

She was a fucking wizard at this shit.

She’d have probably found him in half a second and would know everything about him from then on.

He sighed, getting up from his chair and deciding that coffee would probably make this easier.

He should be going to bed soon, but he was determined to get this figured out.

He continued to mull over Robin and her skills while he pulled down his favourite large mug and began to fix up his coffee how he liked it.

What did she usually ask him when he asked her to find someone?

Their name, obviously but also what they looked like. Was there anything identifying on them? A brand? A hobby? A passion?

What about them could suggest their job or vocation or what they were studying?

Okay, okay. Steve could do this.

He could lay out everything he knew about Eddie so far, in the same way Robin would ask him.

Sitting back down at his desk and setting his steaming cup on the coaster he had ready, he pulled a notepad and paper out and began to write a list.

His name was Eddie. He was about Steve’s age. He didn’t seem to have any kind of accent at all which meant it had probably been unlearned, if there ever was one there. He played a string instrument, Steve was pretty sure it was a guitar or bass guitar now after getting a closer look at his hands.

He was into metal music, based off of the patches and pins on his vest when Steve first met him.

He had acting chops, he was theatrical, he was a huge fucking nerd. He was into Dungeons and Dragons, so much so he’d named his fucking assassin persona after one of the characters from the game.

He had tattoos. Most were professional, but he had one or two that Steve had seen that looked like they were done at a kitchen table or in prison. Had he been to prison in the past?

He was desperately in need of some haircare. 

He had big soft lips that Steve was desperate to get his teeth into. Giant brown eyes that he could utilise for an innocent Bambi look. A slender waist that would make it easy to push him up against any available surface, though he was strong in his own right. Skin so pale Steve had seen the blue of his veins running up his arms, under his tattoos. Tendons that stood raised against the back of his hands when he flexed-

Steve ripped out that last page, tearing it up into tiny pieces and he was tempted to eat them to get rid of the evidence. 

But he settled for just throwing them away into the bin.

Okay, he had some things he could use here.

He started with the tattoos. 

The Bloodyhanded one along with the dice were beautifully done and of the same style, so likely the same artist. It was a real piece of art, even Steve could see that and surely whoever had done it would want to advertise it.

Searching online, trawling through page after page looking for anything tangentially related to the names Eddie or Kas, looking for Dungeons and Dragons or metal music or any type of guitar was far, far more boring than it should be.

He saw some truly atrocious work and had a mental list of places he would never go to or ever let the kids go to if anyone decided to get work, but some of the art was gorgeous.

Steve was starting to get a pain in his neck and he had donned his glasses an hour ago to ease the stress on his eyes when he saw it.

It was a small, locally owned tattoo studio in the middle of nowhere. They had posted a photo five years ago of a pale tattooed arm lying over a cling wrapped rest.

The photo was only from mid-bicep to wrist, there was nothing else identifiable in the photo, no face, no hair, not even his hands for Steve to identify but he didn’t need them.

This was it.

This was his Bloodyhanded tattoo.

There was no other account tagged in the photo, just a small description.

“Tattooing the sickest shit on the most metal guy ever!”

It sounded familiar. It sounded like the artist both knew the character and knew Eddie himself. 

The studio was named Inklings and seemed to be run by some guy named Grant in a tiny town in bumfuck nowhere Indiana.

Steve couldn’t think of a reason Eddie would have travelled all that way just to get a tattoo when there must have been hundreds of studios between here and there.

So there had to be a connection.

Steve ran a search on the image but it hadn’t been posted or shared anywhere else, this was the only one.

So instead he looked into Grant to see what he could find. 

The town was called Hawkins and it was small, small. 

Maybe not the tiniest Steve had ever come across, but definitely small enough to breed small minds at an estimated five thousand people.

Steve was surprised a tattoo studio had even been opened there. 

Surely an adjacent city would have been better?

Grant Fogarty had purchased the location outright six years ago, using funds he’d inherited after his mother’s death. It looked like that was why he was in Hawkins in the first place, his mother was dying and needed care.

After getting that bit of information Steve looked a little further back, finding out Grant was born and raised in that small town but he had left for Indianapolis where he had done his apprenticeship before moving back.

Maybe he’d met Eddie in the city?

But no matter how far or how deep he trawled through Grant’s life during that time, there was no hide nor hair of Eddie.

No photos, no calls or texts, no emails, no contact at all with anyone of that name.

So Steve went further back, before Grant left Hawkins. Looking for something. Anything.

His high-school grades were nothing to look at but he had been in a D&D club for most of his time there that gave Steve just a little bit of hope that maybe Eddie would show up around here somewhere.

Steve's heart began to pick up speed when he also came across some old flyers to the metal band Grant used to play bass in along with a year-book.

And he nearly fell out of his seat when he saw the club photo.

It was him.

Eddie Munson: Hellfire Club Leader and Dungeon Master.

Holy shit. 

He was baby faced and somehow even skinnier, his hair was a little shorter and he had almost no tattoos but it was him.

Eddie had given him his real name.

What could have possibly possessed him to do that? 

Though to be fair, Steve had given Eddie his real name too, but he’d been caught off guard!

Eddie was just so… and he’d been looking at him all frightened and helpless and big eyed, what was he supposed to do?

Was that why he’d given Steve his real name? He’d been caught off guard?

But even with that knowledge, the name that kept repeating over and over in his head Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson, the guy was practically a ghost.

There was nothing online about him.

Aside from one yearbook photo with his club, test results and shitty report cards saying he just needed to ‘apply himself more’, there was nothing.

It was like he’d been scrubbed from history.

There were no hospital records , no arrest records, no graduation record, no bank accounts, no social media, nothing on employment or benefits or even a damn birth certificate.

He practically didn’t exist.

But he had to have existed at some point. 

So Steve went in a different direction and found one other person with the same last name in the town.

Wayne Munson.

Now this guy’s records looked more like the usual stuff.

Birth certificate, records of school, the rare hospital visit that got more and more common within the last five years.

Oh.

Wayne was sick.

Along with that he found an adoption record.

So it looked like Wayne was Eddie’s uncle and he’d taken him in from foster care when Eddie was thirteen.

He had also attempted to post bail for someone that hadn’t been accepted.

No words on who that was but considering that information should have been available, Steve could only assume it was Eddie.

Again, it was like everything got to do with the guy had been wiped.

The only thing even hinting that he was around was some schoolyard boogeyman rumour about a satan worshipping madman living in the woods known as the The Shadow of Hawkins.

If that was Eddie, and Steve expected it was, he wasn’t surprised by the dramatics though he couldn’t tell exactly if that was a name he gave himself or a name he was given

Deciding to change tactics, Steve began to research what he could on Kas.

Only a couple of years after Steve had guessed Eddie had graduated, the rumours of Kas started up. He wasn’t even known by that name initially, he had others before.

Along with The Shadow of Hawkins, which was obviously some kind of precursor, over the following eight years he had also gained the names of The Demon of Dresden, The Ghost and one really funny instance of Bloody Hands instead of The Bloodyhanded.

If Steve ever got the chance to see Eddie again, he’d be sure to bring it up.

Which reminded him that Eddie didn’t know that he knew who he was.

Steve finally felt like he had an upper hand. And he wasn’t going to let it go any time soon.

No, now he needed to dig deeper, find out more. He wouldn’t be able to do that from his home, browsing through government documents or social media on his phone. 

No, Steve needed surveillance.

Steve needed Jonathan.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 5 AO3

Divider by firefly-graphics

@geekymagicalpotato @estrellami-1

Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for the magnificent beta work and to the STWG for their motivation

[rjalker]

since I keep forgetting and the post keeps getting too long:

feral cat going on a rant to a former, and only just recently strayed indoor only cat about how no, being feral does not mean you're some super cool hero who knows everything and is always one step ahead of everything and living a life of amazing fun adventure. It means never having shelter or safety and knowing that the humans who brought you here broke their promise to not only you, but to your parents and their parents, and now they're all fucking gone so there's no more chances for them to even fix it. Being feral means not knowing whether you're going to survive the day or whether the flowers you're walking past are going to kill you. It means knowing your existence is actively destroying the world around you but you can't do anything about it except decide to die, and what the fuck kind of choice is that?

for a book about the pets left to fend for themselves after the apocalypse.

you are 100% encouraged to take this idea and run with it. It came from a dream I had several years ago now that I just randomly remembered for some reason.

Edit:

You know what, all my books are gonna be public domain anyways, you can just have the two things I wrote for this and use them as writing prompts for your own original story.

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Quote #1

That was the final straw.

"What do you mean you don't know?" [Indoor only cat] burst out, whirling on [Feral cat] "You're feral, aren't you?! You're supposed to know these kinds of things! What do you mean, 'I don't know'??"

[Feral cat] leapt backward and landed, back arched, ears pinned as [Y] hissed, tail twitching just above the ground. A growl started building in [Feral cat]'s throat as [Indoor only cat] stared, shocked by the display of open and abject fear in every line of [Feral cat]'s body.

"What are you--" [A] started to say, bewildered, taking a step forward.

[Feral cat]'s growl turned into a yowl, and [Indoor only cat] froze, unable to comprehend what was happening.

They stayed like that for a dozen racing heartbeats before [Indoor only cat] realized that backing away might be a good idea. And so would apologizing, now that [pronoun] thought about it. [A] backed up several steps, fighting to keep [C] body language relaxed and calm.

“I wasn't trying to scare you.” [Indoor only cat] said,

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Quote #2

"You think that's what feral means? You think being feral means knowing this kind of shit? You think ferals are kings of the streets, fearing nothing, knowing everything? Who the fuck told you that bullshit, your family's free roaming dog? Probably wanted to cover for the fact that he hadn't killed any of us yet and wanted to make himself feel better! You want to know what feral means, lapcat? It means watching all of your siblings die from the cold, or disease, or because they ran into the road and didn't see the car coming. It means watching your mother get killed by a stinking dog with a fancy collar and a shiny tag because her owner couldn't be bothered to keep her on a leash, and she thinks disemboweling cats is the greatest fun since humans invented squeaky toys! Feral means knowing that every human who sees you either hates your stinking guts and will try to run you over, or doesn't give a shit whether you live or die, just as long as you do it somewhere out of sight. It means knowing that your parents parents were house cats, living it up in luxury, just like the humans promised, until one day their humans realized your grandmother was pregnant, and decided they weren't worth the effort of keeping around anymore, not when there'd be kittens to feed, and broke their stinking promise by throwing them out on the street to fend for themselves. Feral means starving every day until you get lucky, and knowing every time you do that every other animal in this stinking city wants you dead with a vengeance. We don't stinking belong here, do you even understand that? We're not supposed to be here! The humans stinking brought us to this whole island, and they were supposed to take care of us, keep us safe inside their homes where nothing could hurt us and we wouldn't have to hurt the wildlife!

We came with the humans, and they were supposed to uphold their end of the bargain, but they didn't! They just kept breaking it, and didn't even try to fix things!

Even the ones who said they wanted to help you, they don't really care at all, they just want to stop you from having kittens, but they don't care what happens to you!

You see this stinking notch on my ear? That's from the human I thought was going to adopt me, bring me home and keep me safe – Well guess what? She lied! She didn't want to help me, she just wanted to stop me from having my own kittens some day, and as soon as that was done, she threw me back into the woods! She just kept stinking saying it was better this way, because I would be so sad if I was brought inside, and she didn't want to listen when I begged her not to put me back! And she didn't listen! Because she didn't care!

The humans brought us here, and broke their promise, and now you, one of the stinking lucky ones, think being feral is a good thing? You think it's a stinking mark of pride? You think it means I know anything and everything I need to to survive out here?

You think I can tell you whether or not this stinking carcass is safe to eat? You think being feral means I magically know what's going to kill me? What's next, you're gonna tell me you think I somehow know when it's safe to cross the street without a human running me over? Have you seen my stinking tail? I'll give you three guesses to how that happened!

Being feral is not some cool heroic stinking journey, housecat, it's a stinking nightmare, brought down on us by shitty humans who couldn't be bothered to do the one job they'd accepted! And now it's too stinking late for them to fix any of it, because now they're all gone, and they're never coming back!

Even if some of them are still alive, none of them are coming back for us, because now you, and the rest of your housekept friends, are no better than we are – feral. And to humans, feral means stinking useless. And don't you give me some sob story about how your human is different, your human really cares, your human is going to come back for you. You lived right on top of ground zero. Your human was probably dead before the first night was even over.”

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and yes these could just be part of the same scene but I wrote them separately, so you can just mush them together if you want.

The key point here is that they have to have actual cat body language though, so if you don't know what that looks like you should definitely learn before writing this. pro tip: cats don't hiss when they're angry.