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might-guys-acorn · 5 years

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do u have any hc's for weird facts about the konoha 11 (+sasuke)?

Yes! These babies are full of weird lil quirks. -🦎

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Naruto

Will have mini existential crisis' over dumb things. "Why do we blend things if theyre just gonna get all mushed up in our stomachs anyway? Are blenders just mechanical teeth???"

Has awful impulse control. Not just in battle, but little things too. Unties every shoelace in reach. What sound will this make if I drop it? Pocket? Let me put my hand in it

Has to jump up to touch the doorframe before he can exit any room. He's that kid, and we all know it.

Sasuke

Mumbles things under his breath, esp if hes annoyed. "Shut up and pay for your groceries, Joyce, the cashier doesnt care about your dog's surgeries."

Takes forever to order when eating out. Nothing sounds good, but maybe if I reread the menu 4 more times something will?

Accidentally activates his sharigan when hes surprised. Wouldnt be a big deal, but when hes stuck in the market and dodging everyone dramatically for 20 minutes, it gets a little annoying.

Sakura

Squeals at all cute things. Could see a particularly tiny ladle for a dollhouse and break everyones eardrums from excitement

Looks off into pretend sitcom cameras when someone has said something particularly dumb to her. Sometimes even makes up a laughtrack in her head, just to recover from other's stupidity.

Uses every single dish in the kitchen when she cooks. Theres no way for her to make a meal without simultaneously making a huge mess

Ino

Stops to smell every flower she sees. Its in her genes and shes done it for as long as she can remember

Goes to stores just to put on formal dresses and look at herself. Then always goes home and cries because she'll never have anything to wear them to.

Sings in the shower. At the top of her lungs. Or has imaginary conversations with people, and gets internally annoyed when they dont stick to her script in real life.

Shikamaru

Cant eat at a restaurant without being able to see the door. Will literally wait an extra 20 min for the booth closest to the exit.

Makes shadow puppets in his room when he cant sleep. Would die if anyone found out, but he gets bored, okay?

Has the same glow in the dark stars on his ceiling from when he was 5. Hes too lazy to take them down, and Choji makes fun of him for it everytime he sees them

Choji

Can't clean unless there's music on. Doing laundry is impossible unless he's dancing along to whatever is on the radio

Takes 30 seconds to pick out an outfit but will stand with the fridge open for hours trying to figure out the best snack

Hates wearing socks by themselves. Theyre all the restriction of shoes with none of the protection. Either put shoes on, or dont, but dont get halfway there and give up.

Kiba

Doesnt know how to feel about foxes. He loves dogs, but hates cats and a fox is almost both??? So what do I do with this information? It literally keeps him up at night.

Trips people for fun. Wont actually try to make you fall, but cant help but stick his foot out if you walk past him

Uses Akamaru as a wingman. Nothing gets ladies more than a cute guy with a cute dog, so he might as well use that to his advantage

Hinata

Says "Ow" everytime she hears a loud noise. Wont even be hurt, just cant stop herself.

Goes through times where she has to completely rearrange her room. Feels like shes turned her life around by the time shes done, swears nothing will be messy again, and gives up on cleaning after 2 weeks.

Loves astrology, and has mini conversations about it in her head. "Sasuke has been super weird lately" "Well mercury is retrograde, sooo"

Shino

Owns 30 pairs of sunglasses but only wears 1. The others just sit in his dresser collecting dust because he convinced himself he'd start wearing them but never will

Yells at his bugs like theyre children. "Pincer if you dont stop throwing a temper tantrum right now, Ill got home"

Will never take the last of anything, but wont get rid of the container until its empty. Always has a mostly empty milk carton sitting in his fridge next to a full one, because theres still milk in there!!! I cant waste it!!!!

Lee

Literally hates sleeping. Its such a waste of perfectly good time. Just because its dark does not mean I cannot enjoy my youth!!

Discovers and drops hobbies in the blink of an eye. Has so many unfinished projects lying around, from half-finished novels to a sweater he tried knitting but gave up after one sleeve

Unironically gives people finger guns all the time. He tells a semi-decent joke? Finger guns. Sees someone training? Finger guns. Confesses his love? You guessed it. Finger. Guns.

Tenten

Puts a gold star on her bedroom mirror when she does a good job on a mission. Its like a visual reminder that shes important to her team.

Has to run her fingers along every fence she walks by. Its a subconscious thing she does, and she doesnt even know why.

Sleeps with a knife under her pillow. Not for protection, but just because shes emotionally attached to it. Its her pillow knife, and she loves it.

Neji

Pretends like he knows everything. Even if he doesn't. "Did you hear about what they said in the news?" "Of course I did." *runs away to check the paper*

Falls asleep in strange positions. Once he woke up with his legs straight up against the wall and couldn't walk for 10 minutes from the lack of bloodflow

Secretly loves gossip. Will eavesdrop on strangers conversations just for the tea *cue 'oh my god, they were roommates' vine*

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curioushorizons · 6 years

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The side that you don’t know about being an only child....

Sooo your siblings are annoying. They’re brats. Your sister stole your curling iron and won’t give it back, she also has that pair of jeans that you literally love to china and back. You want some alone time, some peace? Being alone is not all that it is hyped up to be. Here’s some reasons why:

1: imagine coming home from school, your parents are both at work, and having n o o n e. Nada. Absolute no one to vent to about the crap day you’ve had. I mean sure, for you sibling people out there, an afternoon alone might seem like heaven, but try every day for your whole childhood….not so fun.

2: No one understands you. Don’t get me wrong, you parents might get you. But they don’t understand you! They’re not sixteen years old. They don’t understand how your brain works they can’t relate to you. So they’re going to say that you’re being ridiculous when you’re making perfect logical sense and any sibling would agree with you on that. Key thing here: no one in your house relates to you or understands you.

3: Play. You can’t play tag with one person. Or uno. Or twister. Or guess who. Or even freaking battle ships! The swings are only fun if you got your homie sister on the other one and you two are debating whether that cloud is a horse or a cactus. i literally had to like….use my imagination.

4: Sleepovers. You know what i’ve always envied? You know that scene in Parent trap? When the two girls are chillin playing cards on the bed with the dog and they’re just talking about life like its just casual—I WANT THAT! I want impromptu sleepovers, I want to fangirl over harry potter. I want to be eating chocolate at midnight with my sister/brother whilst watching Narnia. I WANT A SLEEPOVER EVERY SINGLE NIGHT/DAY AND WE WOULD HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND I WOULDN’T HAVE TO FALL ASLEEP KNOWING THAT I’LL BE ALL ALONE TOMORROW MY SAD LIFE IS SO TRUE AHHHHH

5: Family pictures at school. Okay so. a bunch of kids always complain when they have to take school pictures with their siblings, but hey I would freaking cherish this ish to the max. I’d be like ‘leave class ten minutes earlier than you’re supposed to meet me outside the gym and I’ll let you know about all the stuff thats happening. lets talk’. And you have a nice or not so nice photograph as a token of the time you told your sister that you liked Johnny from Science class and you both freaked out like teenagers because thats what you are.

6: Having someone to fight for. Ima not gonna lie. I want a kind of relationship that siblings have–the one where even when you’ve just had an argument you know if they ever got into trouble you’d be the first one to jump in and help them. Also, I’ve always wanted to like put someone in their place like: “Hey, that’s my brother and if you’re gonna talk about him like that you better run like hell because your ass will be hanging by its underwear from the roof in five seconds. Thank you.”

7: . Building forts. Okay so I built forts when I was younger. Everyone did, come on. But the most exciting part about forts is actually making them. And I was all by myself. I didn’t have an assistant. I didn’t have a co pilot. I didn’t have someone to ask: “should this go here or there?” “Do you think we should have a chair here or no chair.” I needed advice and I had no one to give it to me. Plus like when your spreading out blankets you have to like ruffle it out by your self on one end and then walk all the way to the other end to fix that end only to discover that you’ve messed up the other end and then it goes on and on—honestly just like having two people spread out a blanket is so much easier and more effective.

8: No cousins. Coming from a huge family, my mother has a lot of brothers and sisters which means that I have a lot of cousins. 26 to be exact. Being an only child, I have come to the realisation that my children will not get to have that. Or even a fraction of it. The family get togethers that are always hectic but make everyone the happiest they ever been. The exchange gifts. christmas. They won’t have any cousins on my side. So i just hope my future husband has siblings otherwise its going to be a lot of sad christmases.

9: Having a sibling is like having a built in best friend. They’re always there, around the corner. theres no need to call and ask if they can come over, theres no need to plan it or arrange time…just simply go down the hall and knock on their door

10: everyone thinks we’re spoilt self conceded brats when actually we’re not. like the ‘oh but you get all the attention and all the presents.’ like literally, kid, i got one present one year and it was a book. loved it, but it was just one. nothing was given to me freely just for the sake of it. i literally had to work my tiny butt off for everything. and then i become a teenager and my parents were like: ‘you want that? go buy it yourself.’ so we’re no less spoilt than you guys are. this stereotype is stupid and not to mention wrong.

All in all. The Only child life can be summed up in one word: lonely.

Very, very lonely.

much love ❤️

#only child #disadvantages lonely

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pinksausageduo · 7 years

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bae jinyoung|best friends to lovers|part 1

member: bae jinyoung genre: fluffy summary: you were best friends with jinyoung but you wanted to be something more but in your mind that’s never gonna happen. but the wanna one boys have a plan to set you two together without either of you knowing let’s hope it won’t be end in a complete disaster requested: yes!! soccer + best friend (can have romance) part 1 | part 2 (final)

you look at the soccer field watching the boys team practice

and you can’t help but smile as jinyoung scores a goal

you cheer for him loudly trying to embarrass him

“GO JINYOUNG!!! GO JINYOUNG!!!”

he looks at you blushes and gives you a heart warming smile and a small wave

you wave back frantically with a huge grin your face

you can see seongwoo lightly nudging him and smirking him while whispering something into his ear

you roll your eyes you’re sure he’s teasing jinyoung about you two again

and on cue jinyoung blushes bright red

seongwoo looks at you and winks while you just flip him off

he smirks and chases after the ball once again

jinyoung gives you one last glance and smiling at you which makes your heart flutter

even tho you’d never admit it did at least not to him

but the game continues and you keep on watching the boys practice

and your thoughts wandered

you and jinyoung were best friends

you had been since primary school

you both loved soccer with a passion and you were both the star players in striker position of your separate teams (1 all girls, 1 all boys)

it all started when you wanted to join a game of soccer with all the boys

but they wouldn’t allow you to

cause you were a girl and girls have cooties plus they’re not as good as boys

prove them they’re so fucking wrong sister

but jinyoung convinced them to let you play and picked you for his team

he told you “i’m sorry about the other guys, you can take centre attack, prove them you’re amazing okay?”

making you blush and giving him a dazzling smile at him while nodding

you felt sooo happy that even without jinyoung knowing about your skills at all he still convinced the guys to let you play picked you on his team and gave you the centre spot

you played excellently scoring 3 goals and your team won in the end

as you scored the final goal from half way

all the guys jaws dropped at your skills

you rushed up and hugged jinyoung tightly whispering into his ear

“thank you for letting me play”

he automatically hugged you back tightly

“of course what are friends for? but i also need to thank you for making us win” he whispered back

you both break apart smiling and you both knew you were gonna be best friends jinyoung still wanting to stand up for you basically shouted at all the guys

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU Y/N’S BRILLIANT!”

he grinned at you and you couldn’t help just at that moment but admit even then as a primary schooler your heart fluttered just a tiny bit

all the guys grudgingly respected you and in the end you became close friends with all of them by middle school

but you were closest to jinyoung of course

you both became inseparable

all classes you had together you sat with him

you became basically another daughter to his parents

and him a son to yours

son in law more like it

you both were each others best friends

he was there for you and you were there for him in every way possible

if you had a breakdown jinyoung could calm you in an instant

if he was upset you could always cheer him up

he’d bring you snacks before and after your soccer practices

and you’d attend as many of his practices cheering him on as much as possible

you both never missed a game when the other was playing

you literally were best friend goals

you guys would help each other out with school, friends, family, relationships everything

both of you had no idea where you both would be without each other

but as you got into high school you weren’t sure your feelings towards jinyoung were entirely just friendly

you just couldn’t think any guys could match up to him

he knew you inside out back to front

all your secrets, quirks, weird things you do

he knew all of them

jinyoung was the sweetest guy you knew and a complete gentleman

always opening doors, trying to buy the meal and you always refused making you guys split the bill

but you didn’t know he never did this with anyone else just with you

you thought that was just him as a person

he always could make you laugh and you had the best time with him

he was also extremely handsome and so many girls liked him it was ridiculous

but he really didn’t pay attention to them especially when you were around

but of course you didn’t notice that

you knew he was out of your league

and he could pick and choose and girl he wanted

which destroyed any and all hope of ever being more than best friends with him

plus he probably only saw you as a sister

mhmm sureeee he did

but all this didn’t stop from you having feelings for him

they weren’t like constantly in your face since you guys are best friends and you spend so much time with him but they like popped up when

things happened like

whenever he went on a date or told you he liked a girl which was still basically never

your heart felt a weird twinge

but you always ignored it

or whenever you hugged him or he complimented you

you heart would flutter

but you were happy with just being jinyoung’s best friend

hoping your feelings will go away eventually but you were very doubtful you would get over him before high school ended

you tried to get over him so many times but it never worked the dates the very short relationships could never even hold a candle to you and jinyoungs friendship

as you were totally lost in your thoughts you didn’t realise practice was over

you were snapped out of your thoughts with someone picking you up and putting them on your shoulder

you automatically knew it was woojin

he always did that when he wanted something usually money or food

“YAH WOOJIN LET ME DOWN!!!” you screamed while hitting his back

“ONLY IF YOU AGREE IN BEING A CHEERLEADER FOR OUR FINAL GAME” he shouted right back being clearly amused by your antics knowing he won’t let you down

you groaned at him “for fucks sake woojin you know i hate being happy and perky”

the cheerleaders basically offered you a one game position for the final where you could cheer for the boys

since you were known to be so close with them

but since then all the guys pestered you about it constantly begging you to agree

but they all had a reason for wanting you to be a cheerleader

they were the ones who even set up a special position for you with a little date bribing and they were done!

how i wish i was good looking how easy my life would be smh

so basically after they won the game cause they were 100% sure they would

cocky dicks

they were gonna have you and jinyoung in the middle of the field and they’ll start chanting “KISS KISS KISS”

and literally everyone would join cause

1. people were sick of you two not getting together but being more couple like then actual couples

2. hey who doesn’t like a kiss at the end of a game its cheesy and cute

then y’all kiss get together AND BOOM NEW RELATIONSHIP

THEY WERE GENIUSES

also daniel mentioned the other reason for being a cheerleader soon after woojin picked you up

“but you know jinyoung would love to see you in a uniform something short and tight” daniel cheekily butted in

“FUCKKK OFF DANIEL” you flip him off while he just chuckles at you

you see all the guys knew of your crush on jinyoung

but they didn’t tell him and you loved them for it

little did you know jinyoung had a crush on you and begged them not to tell you

so they decided not to tell either of you and be good friends

AND play matchmaker happily

“awwww y/n pwetty pleaseeee can youu be a cheerleader its only for oneeee game can’t you do that for me” daehwi said cutely with a lot of aegyo and puppy dog eyes

“stop acting cute it’s not going to work you child demon” you scoff back still slumped on woojins shoulder

“i give up she’s so fucking stubborn” daehwi complains

“you barely even tried??” guanlin says

“shhhhhh” daehwi shushes him

“LANGUAGE DAEHWII!!!!!” jisung scolded daehwi

“oh come on lay off it jisung he lives in the same house as us” minhyun said with an amused smile

“he’s still young minhyun!” jisung said scolding him also for his care free attitude

“if you say so” minhyun said while shrugging

mother and father goals

“IM STILL HERE PARENTS!!!” you say obnoxiously

“and there goes our least favourite annoying child” jisung sighed

“HEY! THERES NO SUCH THING AS A LEAST FAVOURITE CHILD!!!” you say

“of course there is, its you and the favourite is me” guanlin says smirking at you

“why the hell are you the favourite??” woojin asks trying to face guanlin

which meant spinning you around and all the guys trying to dodge your head

“cause he’s the swaggy rapper. duh.” jaehwan says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“I SAID THAT ONE TIME LAY OFF IT HYUNG!!!” guanlin whines

“NEVERRRRR” jaehwan screams

making everyone wince at his vocals

in the mean time jinyoung, seongwoo and jihoon come over

“whats all this about?” jihoon asks

“basically we’re trying to make y/n agree to be a cheerleader for the final game” woojin says again spinning you around again making you dizzy

“STOP DOING THAT!!” you shout

everyone laughs and you just pout

“ahhhh so cheerleader y/n, is this for her to be in something short and tight for jinyoung???” seongwoo said suggestively

making you and jinyoung blush so hard

but neither of you deny it lol

“HEY THATS WHAT I SAID!!” daniel said grinning brightly

“YEAH ONGNIEL IS SCIENCE YO!!!” seongwoo shouts happily back

and they do their secret handshake which takes soooo long with the weirdest details like both their butts rubbing against each other, weird faces, complicated hand motions and they finish it with a bro hug

“i should be part of that, ongnielhwan is science sounds soooooo much better” jaehwan said disappointedly

“but you have meeee” minhyun said cutely while hugging jaehwan

“ew get the fuck off” jaehwan bitch glared at minhyun but he still clinged onto him

“y/nnnn please agreee so these idiots can all shut up” jihoon pleaded

“WHO ARE YOU CALING IDIOTS???!!!” all the guys chorused

“JINX”

“DOUBLE JINX”

“TRIPLE JINX”

“can y'all just shut the fuck up” jihoon says grumpily

“LANGUAGE!! AGAIN!!” jisung scolded jihoon this time while glaring at minhyun daring him to say anything

minhyun just put his hands up in defeat with a “i didn’t do anything wrong” face

“teenage bloody hormones” sungwoon said rolling his eyes at jihoon

in the midst of all this mess jinyoung gently lowers you down from woojins shoulder

making you extremely close to him

everyone’s watching intently like it was some sort of rom-com

and everyone knew you were gonna agree to being a cheerleader cause

he’ll ask you

and of course you’ll say yes

ITS BAE JINYOUNG

and you were also basically in love with him

and all of the guys were just smirking at each other knowing their plan will work out since the hardest bit of it was for you to agree to be a cheerleader

“guanlinah get me some popcorn” sungwoon ordered

“hell no do it yourself” guanlin replied S.A.S.S.I.L.Y

“F-” sungwoon started to speak but he got interrupted very quickly

“SHHHHHHH” shushed the rest before sungwoon could go on a rant about how the younger generation should treat their elders with respect

and then guanlin would mention something about height

and sungwoon would go full on hulk mode

but you weren’t paying attention all you could hear was your fast beating heart

jinyoung softly pleaded to you with his adorable chocolate brown eyes staring right into yours “y/n will you please please please be our cheerleader for the game? for us? for me?”

you knew you couldn’t say no to jinyoung especially when he was looking at you like that

“fine” you bitterly said

which resulted in loud cheering and whooping from the guys

and the most heart warming smile from jinyoung

jinyoung tightly hugged you spinning you around

making you squeal a little and his heart warming at your cute antics

you hug back with you eyes closed

you love his hugs so much

you part with everyone smirking at you two

before you could say anything daehwi comes between you two and hugs jinyoung

“hes mine” he says cutely poking his tongue at you

with jinyoung shyly grinning and blushing at you

you can’t help but smile at the two guys you loved them both heaps

“BUT YOURE MINEEE DAEHWI” you say loudly while grabbing daehwi and tightly hugging/squishing him

he squealed and laughed while saying

“i love you too y/n”

IN A BROTHERLY SISTERLY WAY NOT ROMANTIC

everyone but you could see the glint of jealously in jinyoung’s eyes

even daehwi so he parted with you quickly and silently mouther a sorry to jinyoung

and jinyoung visibly relaxed and mouthed back it’s okay

you were completely oblivious to all of it though

“but you guys better win and you also need to buy me pizza” you warningly say to all the guys

“DEAL!” they agree happily

you all prepare to leave and jinyoung wraps his arm around your shoulder while whispering in your ear

“really thank you for agreeing”

“it’s all good” you say smiling at him

“i’ll be your cheerleader” you chuckle a little making a cheerleading gesture

which makes him smile widely at your adorable chuckle and cute pose

“just my cheerleader right?” jinyoung asks

“just yours” you say sweetly back

BACK FROM MY UNOFFICIAL HIATUS W A CUTIE JINYOUNGG!!!! if y’all want info about the reasons for hiatus, fics to come and MY NEW SERIES please click here. anyways i love jinyoung and there will only be a part 2 to this scenario which will be the game and it’ll be shorter than this and ill be releasing that eventually. BUT THANK YOU FOR READING LOVE YOU ALL FOR STAYING WITH ME AND DONT BE AFRAID TO SEND ME A MESSAGE OR AN ANON!!!

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never-not-ever · 6 years

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2017/1 year anniversary with my girlfriend

How We Met

So I actually met my girlfriend on OkCupid when I was down here at my Aunts house last January. I love visiting my Aunt and we do hang out and go places but there’s also a lot of down time. So last year when I was down here I was bored and made an online dating account. At first it was just guys but I got pretty bored of that and started thinking how a lot of the guys weren’t my type and then I was questioning what my type even was and what gender too! So I decided to switch my “looking for” to women and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I started talking to Andrea and I remember it all so clear and it’s so crazy to be back in this bedroom where it all began. Laying on this very bed where I stayed up late talking to this amazing woman. It sounds cliche and I don’t know how but I stumbled across Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko and that was literally my anthem for that month. I mean come on the song was perfect for me. It was like my own little cheerleader in the background telling me that what I was doing was okay except I didn’t need anyone to tell me it was okay because I knew in my heart that it was perfectly okay and perfectly normal. We started talking on January 13th. I left WV and took the Amtrak train home to Boston on January 16th and that day I heard her voice for the first time. I remember it like it was yesterday! I was on the train and getting closer and closer to Boston. We were so giddy and nervous to talk on the phone but looking back it was the cutest thing. That night we talked on the phone for 2 hours. I met her the next day on January 17th and almost a week later we made it official. January 23rd, 2017.

2017

January

So the rest of the month is a blur. Lots of dates and hanging out. Meeting her family etc. Her meeting my gm. This month should have been filled with pure joy but there was also heartache. This also happened to be the month I had a fall out with my two ex-best friends. Not going to go into specifics, just that it was very painful and very toxic.

February

Our first Valentine’s Day! I bought her flowers and she stuck post it notes around her room with little reasons why she loved me or little fun facts about us. I think it was after Valentine’s Day where I started working more and more in the Florist. I’ve been at my job for almost 8 years now and I’d always help out in the florist around the holidays but this year I moved to that department permanently. February is also the month her parents go away so I basically stayed at her house all the time! They have a 16 year old dog and Andrea works a lot and couldn't take her out all the time so her sister moved home for the month and since I was always there I grew closer to her sister during this month.

March

Nothing too grand and exciting.

April

We went on our first vacation to Virginia Beach and it was so much fun. Our hotel room was amazing and right on the beach! The weather was perfect and we did so much. I’d love to go back again because it was just a great time filled with lots of memories! I started talking to one of my ex-friends around this time too.

May

Birthday month! My first birthday in years were I didn’t wish to be dead when I blew out the candles. Sounds dramatic but I’m not joking. We spent the day together and I saved a baby squirrel from a rest stop parking lot. Ruined my “Normal People Scare Me” hoodie by wrapping the little guy up in it who was covered in fleas and bugs. I also started talking to the other ex-friend again but it just wasn’t the same. I think by this month I was officially a florist clerk! Besides meeting Andrea, switching departments at my job made my year. I became so much more happier and cheerful at work. I also went to my first wedding (since I was a kid which I don’t even remember!). It was a waterfront wedding and amazing. I’ll always remember that night! I wore a dress for the first time since prom!

June

I went to London!! It wasn’t as long as I would have liked but it was amazing!! I could honestly see myself living there. I went with my cousin and my uncle who was on a business trip. It was the highlight of my Summer. Went to another wedding. It wasn’t as nice as the first one but it was still a great time! It was out in western Mass and we slept overnight at a nearby hotel. The next morning me and Andrea decided to take a drive down to NYC. It was spontaneous and I loved it even though we got there around suppertime and didn’t get to do much. It was still a good time!

July

Andrea’s family has a huge 4th of July BBQ and that was a pretty great day! I wore another dress lol! My old friends came and we all hung out and played games and then watched the fireworks on a dock in the water. It was so nice to have everyone together but that was the first and last time it ever happened. A strange and mysterious thing happened this month. A baby kitten was found in my front entrance. You see, to get in my house you have to go up a flight of stairs and open not only a storm door but a regular door as well. That brings you to a little square hallway where we keep the mail and theres two more doors-one leads to the second floor where I live with my gm and the other is for the first floor where my uncle lives. We keep the mail on a little set of shelves in that hallways and one morning my gm was taking my dog out and there was a kitten sitting on the bottom shelf! We named her Delilah and kept her and she’s been a part of the family ever since.

August

This month was a blur. Nothing big and exciting happened. Met my new psychiatrist and started preparing to say goodbye to my therapist whom I would be terminating with in the next month.

September

Went on our second vacation together to D.C. My body image was crap and it kind of sorta ruined the trip cause I was always so self conscious being in public and stuff. In the end it was still nice just being able to get away and spend time alone. It was Andrea’s birthday and I made her a collage of our pictures that said “I like me best when I’m with you”. It was cute. When we got back from our trip I started up EMT classes again. I took the course in 2014 and passed all but one test (the state written) and I let too much time go by so I decided to retake the course. At the end of the month I had to say goodbye to my therapist. Someone I worked with since April of 2016 when I was inpatient. It was so hard to say goodbye because for over a year I saw this woman almost every single week and she helped me thru times when I thought I was going to end up back in the hospital. I also stopped going to my DBT group as well. Stopping with therapy wasn’t my choice, stopping with group was. This also was the month I stopped talking to my ex-best friend whom I was friends with for over 10 years. We didn’t have a big fight or anything we just drifted apart. “You didn’t text me” “But you didn’t text me” so typically but it was bound to happen. People change and there’s nothing wrong with that. I feel like for the most of 2017 I kept trying to prove that I didn’t change like it was some bad thing when in reality it’s okay to change, it’s part of life.

October

And to follow along with that last month I also stopped talking to my other ex-friend. I have nothing against them. They were there for me when I was at rock bottom in 2016 and for that I will be forever grateful. In 2017 however things were very rocky. Things felt forced, like I was walking on eggshells afraid to do something wrong. A never-ending rollercoaster that finally came to a stop in the end of October. I’m not going to lie and say that my life has been great ever since. Because it hasn’t. I mean yes it’s been okay and I’ve been happy but I’ve also been so down because of all that’s happened with them, second guessing myself and wondering “what if”. But in the end we all moved on and that’s all that matters because in the end life moves on.

November

This Thanksgiving me, my uncle and my gm went over to Andrea’s and it was so much fun. After my people went home I stayed and played games with her brothers and sister and their significant others. We listened to Christmas music and just had a blast. Me and Andrea started Christmas shopping and listening to Christmas music and it was the start to a wonderful holiday. In the end of the month I took my class written exam and in some surprising turn of events I passed! Like I was so shocked because I didn’t study at all and went into that exam knowing that I could retake it and thinking that thats what was going to happen. But I didn’t have to because I passed!!

December

More Christmas shopping and snuggling under fuzzy blankets with my babe. All up until Christmas the only music I listened to was Christmas music! Ever since my Aunt passed away I always hated the holidays. It was so sad and depressing. But this year was different. I was looking forward to spending Christmas with Andrea and her family and starting new traditions. This month I had two practical exams. One for the class and one for the state and I passed them both!! I went to Andrea’s family’s Christmas party on the 23rd and it was so nice and festive. I slept over that night and on Christmas Eve we all woke up and celebrated Christmas morning a day early cause not everyone could be there for Christmas Day. We went over to a friends house for New Years Eve and ordered Chinese food and played Cards Against Humanity. I can’t remember the last time I kissed someone on New Years. But this time I got to ring in the New Year with my babe.

#personal #2017 #so long #omg sorry #lol

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yoonasgf · 7 years

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171013- saturday a rant dnt bother reading

i feel like i wanna talk to someone but then i think about it and what am i even expecting ? whenever i say smth i regret it immediately so just thinking abt expressing whats bothering me to others i just know ill regret adn feel guilty and embarrassed about it later so i never talk to anyone abt anything that goes on in my mind and it gets to the point where its so over bearing i feel like its drowning my head somehow , im so.. lonely wld be the word but lonely in my thoughts but like that doesnt even make sense idk im just writing here bc i need to let my feelings out somehow and i’d usually do it on twitter but like the 140 characters thing anyway i just feel like i want to let things out but whenevr i do i never like the answer i get, like if they give me advice i feel annoyed cus i wasnt asking for help i was simply stating how i felt (and most of the time its stuff that cant really be fixed?), if they tell me stuff like “i love you !” its like ok? ik its mean but someone elses love does not affect my situation at all since its an inner issue that doest rly have to do with self-esteem, and if they just are like ‘yeah’ or ‘thats so bad:(’ ijust feel like theyre not paying attention (even if they are) which makes me regret opening up, so i dont really know what im expecting when i vent to someone i guess i just want to feel like someone is listening to me idk im like so full of thoughts and feelings. writing this feels like its calming me down a little bit so i think im just gonna keep writing, in english (its funny how id rather open up in english since its my second language i feel more alienated from it so it feels less real? what im talking about seems less seriousdk) so whats circling in my mind is that i dont have anyone im urging to meet i dont have anyone i truly like anymore and that my ladies is so fucking sad and frustrating that ive mentally grown apart from my friends im just not myself when im with them and sure my fake-extroverted persona ive built throughout highschool is good at doing her job and she still gets along with them so well but now it feels like that side of me, the fake one, is another person like we used to share some “mental common ground” but not anymore i just dont have anything in common with that persona anymore so whenever im with my old friends i just become her it’s like i completely leave reality it makesme so lonely inside. and i cant help it its unvoluntary how i switch places with the other me i cant stop it and i hate it because i feel like its drowning me alive, along with my personal issues. lately ive been isolating myself a lot, i stay in the classroom during recess and i havent gone out in like a month.actually last time i went out i decided i just wont go out anymore i just think its not for me i truly dont have fun. is that okay like is that normal? like is just dont enjoy the loudness and the kind of jokes that go on, i think if grown too fast. i justdont wannatalk about drinking andsex and how evil the math teacher is, like its fine once ia while but iwanna discuss science and philosohy and share thoughs too, anything else is so irrelevant it’s so sos irrrelevant to me. not that i dont enjoy good laughs anddrinking, but for that i feel like i wanna be with someone who is special to me? like someone whoi respect intellectually first, and then we can laugh at dog memes. someone i can show my realpersona to,and the thing is i have my best friends she’s literally so perfect bc she’s smart but also silly so we can talk abt hitler but then we can talk abt that one episode of sponge bob ? but the thing is shes graduating this year, and she has like an almost boyfriend, so i decided i should start getting used to her not beingwith me, but thats way more lonely than i thought. the guy thing, it wasnt planned, and shes with her crush most of the time which i totally understand i watn them to be together and stuff but i dont have anyone else but her- that is the real me not the fake persona, the fake persona hasmany people- but i though “she deserves this” so decided to step back so they can concentrate on each other. she ofc wouldve never asked this of me, but it seems like it was the best, sometimes i feel like a huge burden to her. but now imrealizing how lonely it has made me, being with her is like letting go of a breath that ive been holding and im realizing how much i need her. so i thought of like ‘slipping’ back in but im faced with the fact that we will infact part ways when she graduates because we’re attending universities in different parts of the country so maybe i should be getting used to the solitude, until someone else comes. and someone else seems to be here, this one friend i have in my new class, but im so scared of opning up to her, im scared of her kindness to me. i always think “why is she so nice? why does she stand up for me” at first she wasa bit too rough for me but as we spent time together i think she realized what kind of person i am and changed her ways so now were getting closer and closer and it makes me so 불안해 and 두려워 (idk how to express the sentiment in english) i dont even know what im scared of, it;s not like ive been hurt before in that way i think? maybe i have i cant remember. the point is, i know i should let this person in because she’d help me but i just cant seem to opne the freaking door its like my hand is shakinly holding teh doorknob without actually twisting it. i do think i will eventually tho. anyway. i was saying i spend alot of time alone these days, reading,studying, twitter, watching stuff, and its really nice i really do enjoy being by myself but i honestly dont have manyb things to do? so eventually the Thoughts come, and lately what ive been meditating is how the reason why i dont get close or attached to people (again the fake me might get closed but not me) is because simply no one is as good company to me as myself? which is fine wyou know many people feel like that, but i hate that if im alone poeple thinkg i dont have friends or that im sad and they think its bad that i am alone which is really not the case. i could be with ppl if i wanted to i just chose not to. theres this particular guy in my class actually, who thinks he has to be my friends bcim often alone and it irriates me so much bc 1. hes interrumpting my enjoyable me-time 2. he does it out of pity and boi do i hate pity like sometimes i just stay in the classroom doing homework or reading and he comes in likw “why are u always alone:(” because i want to you fucking dumbass andtoday or maybe it was yesterday particularly he said “why are you always alone is it becayse you dont have freinds bc you went on exchange and dont know anyone” llike um no im alone because i literally want to be alone you absolute dipshit and ido have 10 times more friends than you i just dont feel like being wit hthem you fucking asshole it pissed me off so much as if he’s ?? helping in anyway ?? i just wish anyone whosaw me alone wld tjust think ‘i guess she likes being alone’ isntead of thinking that im alone bc no one is willing to keep me company. isuddenly got really mad writting this. i think this really calmed me downishould do it more often its not like anyone who follows me here wld open it, like ideally this is whatdiaries are for but i dnt like to waste paper. im gonna write the date as well

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