#literally every chapter except for one which may change is a musical song title

[dolphingirl1234]

10 points to the person who can identify every single musical I reference in the chapter titles in the new fic I'm writing

[twdmusicboxmystery]

TWD 10x08: The World Before - First Thoughts

Hello everyone! So what did you think of the episode. I totally loved it! Yes, it’s frustrating to get a cliffhanger for the MSF, but I, for one, am kind of used to it by now. I more or less count on that for every finale and MSF. If it doesn’t happen (because sometimes it doesn’t) then awesome. But when it does, I’m not surprised or upset by it. 

But onto happier things. This was one of those episodes that was just dripping with symbolism. (My favorite kind! So today I’ll talk about the broad, sweeping things and what most jumped out at me (and there was a LOT that did, even on first watch) and tomorrow I’ll do nitty-gritty details. Later in the week, I have some other things to post that I’m hoping will help everyone get through the hiatus, so stay tuned for those. Let’s dive in!

This is one episode that the spoilers definitely didn’t do justice to at all.

***As always, spoilers abound for 10x08 below. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Daryl’s Reaction to Carol and Lydia:

Depending on what you follow online, this might not mean much to you. But the groups I’m in follow spoilers and there was a lot of talk about how Daryl didn’t seem to care that much that Lydia was gone, or that Carol sort of lost her. And the spoilers only talked about a very tender scene between Daryl and Carol. 

Well, they did have a sweet scene together, but him not caring about Lydia and not getting after Carol was utterly untrue. (If you’ve watched the episode, you know this.) 

No, he doesn’t exactly scream in Carol’s face or anything (but Daryl wouldn’t do that anyway) but he does get after her. I really liked their interactions because I feel like Daryl might just have finally gotten through to Carol about her destructive behavior. She cries, and that’s where he hugs her. It was actually a really beautiful scene.

I will grant you that it doesn’t last long, as Carol still chases blindly after Alpha not long after, but still.

Music References:

Probably my favorite thing was the musical references. Luke names and later hums a specific piece of classical music: Rachmaninoff’s Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini. 

Even if the name doesn’t ring a bell for you, I can almost guarantee you’ve heard it before. HERE’s a video so you can listen. If you can’t access this one, just google it or search your YouTube. I promise it won’t be hard to find a way to listen to it. It’s one of the most famous pieces of classical music of all time.

It was featured in a film in the 80s called Somewhere in Time that had a cult following (one of my personal faves with Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour).

So, my first instinct was to research the song itself. Like, does it have a coda? I knew I had some sheet music from this song on my shelf so I went and got it. Mine doesn’t have a coda, but mine is also only the 18th variation.

It’s important for everyone to understand what a variation is in classical music. A variation is basically just one part of the overall symphony. Any given symphony is divided into parts, or variations. Not unlike chapters of a book. Each one is part of the overall story, but different things happen in each chapter, right? Same with Variations. All part of the same symphony, and therefore all based around and repeating the same musical themes, but all slightly different as well.

So, any given variation may not have a coda, but we need to look at the symphony as a whole. (And I can back this idea up because in the episode, Luke finds a book in the library of this piece of music and on the cover it says something like “complete preludes for piano” on it. 

So, what I’m getting at is that the 24th variation IS a coda. I found this description of the 24th variation:

Variation 24: provides a massive capstone to the entire work.  The Dies Irae theme emerges heavily in brass and strings while piano and winds recall prominent features of the subject.  A brilliant coda reiterates fragments of the theme, compressing earlier ideas within a massive acceleration. Suddenly and surprisingly there is a drop to an unexpected soft dynamic and two cadential chords from the piano mark the ending.

Obviously that is very significant. They’re mentioning, talking about, humming, and showing us sheet music for a very famous symphony that has a coda. I think our TWD coda is about to roll back around, don’t you?

But I’m also wondering about the Somewhere in Time theme. I’m sure at least some of you aren’t familiar with it. It’s an American film with a cult following. But in terms of pop cinema culture, Paganini’s Rhapsody and this film are very intertwined. There are plenty of people who wouldn’t know that symphony at all EXCEPT for the film, so I have to wonder if they chose this piece of music, both for what it means by itself, and also for the Somewhere in Time reference. Notice the “time” element of that title.

The film is a ridiculously romantic time travel story. Its about two lovers who are basically separated by time, and have to travel through time to find one another and, you know, be together forever. Sound like Bethyl to you?

And because I was thinking about that, I noticed something else. When Aaron is talking to Gracie (there are a lot of interesting things in this scene, but I’ll go into most of them tomorrow in my Details post) he tells her a story about once visiting some old Native American ruins. He says he started to wonder about the lives and identities of the people who once lived there. People who had been “lost to time.” So there was a definite theme about people being lost in time in this episode. Very significant. Actually kind of gives me chills. In a good way. ;D

Gracie:

I felt like there was a large emphasis on Gracie in this episode. Aaron talked about her to Gamma last episode, in conjunction with bikes (which we’ve long associated with kidnapping and even “missing girl” stuff) so I still feel like Gracie might be taken.

Here, when Aaron learned about Dante killing Siddiq, he kind of had a meltdown, saying he should have seen it and Dante had been part of the community for months and had even treated Gracie. I don’t think we should read into that literally. I don’t think Dante did anything to Gracie or anything. But I feel like she’s being associated with the whole Siddiq/Dante situation.

And of course we had the part where he sat with her and quizzed her on the license plates. So I feel like they’re setting up something with Gracie here, and I’ve said before that I can see something along the lines of Gracie being taken/kidnapped and Aaron going to find her, and that somehow leading to Beth. So I guess I’m just seeing this as confirmation that something with Gracie is in the works, even if the rest is just conjecture right now.

Bear Trap:

This probably qualifies as more of a Detail than anything else, but it was too huge not to share. After they cross the border, Carol almost steps in a bear trap. Daryl sees it in time and stops her saying, “You could have lost a foot.” Lost shoe/foot symbolism anyone?

I’ve come to believe that the lost shoe/foot theme is directly tied to the death fake out. I won’t say much more than that except that only Daryl and Carol are in this scene. So, it might point to Ezekiel’s coming death fake out, which I think is close, or to the one Daryl is involved in, which would just be another way to hint at Beth being close.

But it’s more than that. MUCH more. Some of you may remember that WAY back, a long time ago (like during the 5b/6a time period) some of the prominent TD-ers of the time dug up some information about a Beth figurine/toy that was set to be released. They were going to release one that included a bear trap prop in the package.

Now, that figuring was never actually released. People in our fandom actually contacted the toy company to ask about it and were told that it was planned for release at one point, but for unspecified reasons, the company (that would be AMC) changed their minds and scrapped the project.

We still don’t know exactly why, though I suspect it was because TD was so active back then and they simply decided they didn’t need to give us this hint.

Lots of theories about the large bear trap circulated back then. People even wondered if it would have something to do with Beth and Shiva, which it didn’t. But it’s weird, right? I mean, why would tptb release a figurine of Beth with such a specific, large prop that never showed up in her story line and had absolutely no bearing on anything in her—or any other character’s—story?

Well, obviously TD took it as something symbolic/a clue to how she might return. Now, we have an actual bear trap as part of a sequence connected to the Whisperers, when many of suspect we may be as little as two episodes out from her return. Significant enough for you? I can’t stress how huge this little bear trap detail is.

But I can even take it further than that.

In terms of what specifically happens in this episode, it was a foreshadow of the ending. So Carol almost stepped in the bear trap, but just barely avoided catastrophe. Daryl yelled stop, stop and managed to pull her back before she stepped in the trap, triggering it, which would have been very painful. Near the end of the episode, Carol chases after Alpha. Daryl yells, stop, stop! But she doesn’t listen and what happens? They trigger the trap.

So, some pretty basic foreshadowing for the end of the episode. But the idea of that also has my head spinning, because I can’t help but compare it to other things.

First, it’s the bear trap being associated with Beth again. Because, in my head, them triggering this trap, and it being symbolized beforehand by the bear trap, is just another way of saying that something about them triggering this trap Alpha set for them will lead to Beth in some way.

But I’m also thinking about Alone. With this symbolism in mind, you could argue that Beth stepping on the small game trap at the beginning of Alone foreshadowed her getting caught in the Grady trap at the end of that episode. The sequence is similar. When the metal, animal trap is scene early on, catastrophe is largely avoided.

(Yes, Beth steps in the trap, but it only results in a hurt ankle. Nothing to worry about. They even emphasize that it’s not broken. If Carol had stepped on hers, it would have snapped her leg like a twig, and they needed her to be able to run later, so they couldn’t do a complete parallel. But again, catastrophe largely avoided.)

Then, near the end of the episode, a MUCH bigger trap is triggered. And this time, catastrophe can’t be avoided. Daryl couldn’t stop the Grady cops from taking Beth, though he tried. And he couldn’t stop the group in this episode—including himself—from falling into the pit, though he tried.

In fact, you could argue that because the rest of the group ran out ahead of him after Carol, while he stayed behind to fight walkers, this was a huge parallel to the end of Alone. Think about it. He stays behind to lead the walkers away while she runs out ahead of him. We see him running through the yard of the funeral home in the direction she went, looking for her, but she’s already fallen into the Grady trap by then.

Here, the rest of the group runs out ahead of Daryl, after Carol. He takes care of the walkers and then runs in the direction they all went, looking for them. But they’d already fallen into the pit by the time he got there. See why this is so huge?

(P.S. On TTD, they pointed out that we see this from Daryl’s POV, which was true of Alone as well. We saw everything through his eyes, and didn’t see what happened with Beth. Only what he saw.)

The dark pit they fall into reminded me of two things: 1) the cave Gamma’s sister went into with Alpha before emerging into the light, which I pegged right away as a Beth-parallel. 2) the darkness-to-light theme in general. We saw it around Beth a lot, but around others as well. So if this is the group going into the darkness, then when they re-emerge into the light, maybe that’s when Beth will show up? (a.k.a. episode 10?) Just a thought.

But for Beth, Grady = falling into a dark pit. In this shot, we see her walking into a dark corridor/tunnel with light at the other end. And this is RIGHT before she’s shot. Which I always saw as her heading into the darkness, but it foreshadows that she’ll come through into the light (survive). And now we’re seeing a replay of this in 10x08.

Virgil:

Okay, let’s talk Virgil. For the record, I don’t think he’s linked to Connie and Kelly. That was a fun theory and I was hoping for it as much as the next person, but I didn’t get that feeling while watching the episode. First off, it’s not that he’s been separated from his family and looking for them, which is what early reports of him suggested. Rather, it’s that he left his community on some kind of supply mission and he’s trying to get back to them. So, he knows exactly where they are. He’s just trying to get home.

That’s right. HOME theme. They emphasize several times that he’s going home. He says it, Michonne repeats it, etc. And remember that finding one’s way home is associated with the North Star/Sirius symbolism, thanks to Carl saying that to Judith in S6.

And where Virgil’s home is, is AWESOME! Pay attention to this TD-ers, because it’s SUPER significant. He tells Michonne that he lives in a compound on Bloodsworth Island in Tangiers sound. I had to sit back and let that sink in. We’ve always said Beth will return by water. If she’s on an island, that kind of makes every water reference we’ve ever seen around her make sense. The picture of the ship behind Hershel in 4a (Smooth seas don’t make for good sailors), the teddy bear that washed up on the beach in 7x06, etc.

I had to do some research on this place because I wasn’t familiar with it. Both Bloodsworth Island and Tangier sound are in the Chesapeake Bay area. The sound is bordered by parts of Virginia and Maryland. My point? This really isn’t very far away. Michonne mentions a 2-day trip to get there.

But given all the symbolism around this, and that this may be where Beth is…well, suddenly it seems like she really may not be very far from D.C. at all.

And then there’s the idea of the naval base. Virgil says it’s hard to find and fortified. Remember what I said about the helicopter people: that they’re probably ex-military, which is why they’re so good at security and keeping people from leaving their group once they’ve entered. It would also make sense why they’ve learned to purify water, since they’re on an island surrounded on all sides by salt water.

So what I’m saying is that this plays very well into everything we’ve been thinking thus far. We already know Danai is going to the Rick Grimes films, so to say she’ll run into Rick is a foregone conclusion. But I’ve said before that I think Rick and Beth are in the same place, or at least within the same organization.

I want to point out that Michonne quotes Rick’s line to Virgil: My mercy prevailed over my wrath. Now, on the one hand, that’s just a very obvious way of foreshadowing that when she leaves, she’ll be finding Rick. His storyline is about to come back into play, and Virgil will be part of that. We already knew that because of outside-the-show stuff. But a good example of foreshadowing at work, and we’ve seen plenty of similar stuff with Beth.

But that line is also tied to Carl’s death. I won’t go into all of this today (I will in a later post) but this is also helping me draw a line between Carl’s death and how Beth will return. I know that’s kind of a tease, but it’s also a whole other rabbit hole, so I’ll give it its own post later.

Wolves and Whisperers:

I said I’d talk more about the Aaron/Gracie scene tomorrow, and I will, but I want to point out one more thing that jumped out at me. First, when Daryl/Carol/Father Gabriel were interrogating Dante, they emphasized that Dante and the Whisperers believed they were setting people free. First Dante said it, claiming that not caring about yourself or others makes you free, and then Carol repeated it for emphasis.

Then there was the Native American story Aaron told Gracie. Both of those things are major callbacks to the wolves. One of the wolves told Morgan that what they did would set people free. And then Crazy Wolf Dude told Morgan in 5x16 that their beliefs were remnants of the beliefs of Native Americans who first settled the area, who believed they were wolves.

And I’ve said before that the wolves were a forerunner and symbolic parallel of the Whisperers, so this is nothing new, but I wanted to point out the strong resemblance in beliefs. And is it literal? I don’t know. I could see it going either way. Maybe at some point we’ll learn that the wolves were an outgrowth of the Whisperers or something.

But it really could just be a symbolic parallel as well. Even if it is just that, it would explain why there was so much Beth symbolism around the wolves and lend credence to the idea of her returning during the Whisperer arc. Just saying.

I also think Virgil has some parallels to Morgan. Again, I’ll talk about this more tomorrow, but in 3x12, Clear, when Rick/Michonne/Carl ran into Morgan, they were looking for weapons to help them fight a war against the Governor. When they found Morgan, he came across as somewhat crazy, and they had to tie him up until they were sure he wouldn’t kill them.

Similar stuff with Virgil. He comes across as a threat and is taken prisoner at first. In the end, Michonne goes with him to find weapons to help them in their war against Alpha. So there are some definite parallels there.

Okay, these were the biggest things. I’ll stop there because this is already long. Plenty more to cover, but I’ll do it tomorrow in the Details post. How did YOU like the episode?

Oh wait! One more thing. Hehe. Can I just point out the title. The World Before. I have to ask, the world before what? Something big is about to change, y’all. ;D

[tempo-takoyaki]

I wanna ask!! 1) Of all the fics you’ve written, which one your favorite and why? 7) Who was your favorite character to write in your fav fic, Love List, & Can You Hear the Sea? 8) Which usually came first, the title or the fic? 10) What are some facts readers may not know about your fav fic, Love List, & Can You Hear the Sea? 11) This isn't in the question list, but if you don't mind, who's your fav in your monster AU??

Wow that will be long ! Okay here I go !

1) Of all the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Tricky question. Currently my fav one is actually one I still haven’t finished. So I’m going to choose the closest to it in the ones I posted which is “Sing me a song about a happy Goodbye”. It had been a while since I wanted to write Something similar to “Can You Hear The Sea?” and “1cm per month” and Something about Isabella and Ray’s relationship that had this kind of… “It seems alright but it’s not” feeling. Btw I actually wrote the whole fic listening to celtic music!

I do love each of my fics very much since I only post those I really like (I have a bunch of unused drafts in my phone and computer) so it is a though choice… Also I need to choose something other than “Love List” which is the most self-indulgent fic for me. I really have a lot of fun writing it. 

7) Who was your favorite character to write in “Sing me a song about a happy Goodbye”, “Love List” and “Can You Hear The Sea?” ?

I loved writing Isabella as in Sing Me a Song about a Happy Goodbye. (Which is nice since she is the focus)

In Love List, Barbara is SUPER FUN to write. She has to have this kind of seductive but absolute dumbass energy while being super horny at the same time it is hilarious. (Good thing again she is the protagonist) 

For Can You Hear The Sea? I would say Carol. It’s kind of biased since I had to imagine her whole personality since she currently is a toddler so of course I made her act how I wanted and not how the character would be. But I still really like the little story I made for her and her teenage crush on Ray. (In all the other stories I want to make her appear in she still is very close to him)

8) Which usually came first, the title or the fic?

It’s very specific for each one so I’ll make a small summary.

Can You Hear The Sea? : The title came first (though I still had some part of the plot in mind) and actually comes from two things ! The first one is a movie (and novel) called Umi Ga Kikoeru (Ocean waves) that I had watched with my father before writing it and it stucked in my mind (though the scenario has absolutely NOTHING to do with what happens in Can You Hear The Sea?) and the second one is L’Etranger (The Outsider) by Albert Camus, I studied the book in class before writing the fic and it was my main inspiration for it. There’s a recurrent theme in the book which is the sea and how it reminds of good things. the writing style is what inspired me for the way I write in Can You Hear the Sea?.

1cm per month : The title first definitely ! (since the title directed every part of the fic) Like Can You Hear The Sea? The title comes from another japanese movie called 5cm per seconds (which is the time a cherry blossom’s petal takes to fall on the ground). Again I just thought it sounded cool.

Magia and Another Heaven : The songs inspired me the titles. So the titles came first.

Caster’s Master, Let’s Play Werewolves! and Sing Me a Song about a Happy Goodbye : I needed a title. The fic came first (for most of them I had a completely different title written in my drafts, I even changed the last one a hundred times)

Yellow Tulip : I wanted flower language. I needed to find which flower. Boom. Title. But the plot came first. So fic first surprisingly.

Love List : This fic is pure self-indulgent and I wanted a title that sounded cool. And Love List came immediatly into my mind… But fic first anyway. (I actually wrote it in a draft on my phone where the input title was the serie’s one because Love List was intended to be a one-shot… oops)

Pretty? No, Cute. : Fic first surprisingly. The fic was originally called Princess, but then the last dialogue came out. And I was like… Nah.

At which point did you though it was a good idea? : Fic first. The title is me talking to myself. (But I have no regrets)

10) What are some facts readers may not know about Sing Me a Song About a Happy Goodbye, Love List, & Can You Hear the Sea?

Here I go ! (It’s long)

Sing me a song about a happy Goodbye

It was supposed to be a multi-chapter fic that was an alternate universe to Can You Hear The Sea? Where Ray and Norman stayed with Emma.

The story is set in Europe ! I didn’t specify the country but for me it was in England. 

Ray was supposed to get a girlfriend who came from Glory Bell. She was a few years older than him and was about to accept to become a Mama when she was sent to the human world with the others. She is not particularly pretty but very cute.

It’s not because Isabella was a “number” that she couldn’t get a job, but because she was a “mama”. 

All other facts are kept for the sequel with Norman POV. ;)

Love List 

I... uh… was just horny… but not too much… huh… I needed girls and sexual tension okay?! I was in a phase when I really wanted a girlfriend so I decided that I should help myself by writing this fic. Now this phase is kind of gone (lie, I still want a girlfriend but there’s school), hence why I haven’t wrote much.

Norman was supposed to be a COMPLETE ASS in this fic at first (I even wrote some of those parts). He was manipulative, possessive and jelaous as hell. Then I thought : “Norman is a gentleman. Norman wouldn’t do that.” And I re-wrote him so that he is the nice and helpeful dude he is now.

I never, and won’t, I think, published a whole dialogue between Norman and Barbara when he is forced (because of her puppy eyes) to explain to her how two girls have sex. (one of the reasons why I changed his characterization, that scene was too funny for him to be an ass)

I literally drew EVERY scene before writing them! I have sketches for all of them!

Can You Hear The Sea?

I drew most of the scenes before writing them.

“Actually, I think I would have preferred you two being dead.” is the first real replica I had thought about in the whole fic. It’s in my very first drafts. Though back then it was written as a simple “I hate you two”, followed by a “I know” from Ray.

I knew the end since writing chapter 1, but I didn’t know what would exactly be in the middle (I just thought : I want to write that, and that, and that... And we will see how it goes)

One of the cut scenes is Emma cutting her hair in front if Phil at the beach before telling him that she won’t leave him alone anymore.

A whole part of the plot that was cut was Emma’s alcoholism as well as her having her first time (understand here : sex) with her best friend at the time who was a delinquant boy, and the only person who would dare approach her. There was no feeling, and it actually was pretty lame, like a first time. 

SHELLY IS A FREAKING GYARU

Except Phil, most of the GF kids who have the legal age to work works in the family restaurant where Emma herself used to work before her illness forced her to quit. The manager loves them.

Carol’s past is light compared to the other GF kids… But it still used to be hard enough for her that she attempted suicide a year before Ray and Norman came back (yes, 12, like Ray). When she meets Ray, she is actually coming out of a heavy depression that lasted during most of her childhood.

To answer an unanswered question “Why 8 years?” Fufufu... I needed Phil to be 16. That’s it. That’s the reason. 

There was supposed to be an epilogue, and then I thought that an open end was cool.

11) This isn't in the question list, but if you don't mind, who's your fav in your monster AU??

I’m going to guess that you are talking about their monster’s type and how well I thought it would fit them. There’s two, Nat, who is a Tengu (because of their long noses) and Barbara who is a Wendigo (her design is a mess but God I’m proud of that one).

As for who in terms of how they act with their monster nature… Yuugo. Because… huh… Look up “Tanuki” in google. You will understand. *snorts like a dumb teenager* You will understand.

Thank you for all the question ! (^^)/

[shireness-says]

Playing the Part

Prologue: Overture

Summary: As a stage manager who's clawed her way up from bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU. Rated T for language. Also on AO3.

A/N: It’s finally here - the Broadway AU I’ve been threatening to write for ages! I’m excited to finally post this, and I hope you’re excited to read it. I’ve got a bunch of these saved up - 7 completed chapters and significant chunks of 4 more - so I should be able to post these every Monday.

I had a lot of help getting this to its final state, so special thanks to @katie-dub for coming up with the title, @kmomof4 for proofing my outline, and @snidgetsafan for her ever-exceptional beta skills. Y’all are the best.

Each chapter title will be pulled from musical songs. The overture is traditionally the music that plays after the lights dim but before the show starts, and oftentimes sets the stage for the show to come by combining snippets of the musical numbers to come.

Overarching disclaimer: my theater experience is purely on the community theater level and only on the techie side, not the acting side. I strive for accuracy, but pull on my own experience and as such may not achieve it.

Tagging those who have expressed interest or I think will like this: @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @mythologicalmango, @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713, @revanmeetra87, @onceuponaprincessworld, @courtorderedcake, @snowbellewells, @branlovesouat, @aerica13, @searchingwardrobes, @teamhook, @awkwardnessandbaseball. Send me a message if you want me to keep tagging you or to be added to this list!

Without further ado: enjoy!

Emma Swan falls into working theater crew somewhat on accident.

That’s the story of her life, really – unexpectedly pregnant at 18, moved to New York on a whim (the reasoning being roughly “if not now, when?”), ended up with a job at Granny’s Diner because it happened to be next to what must be the only free parking in the city, and with a roommate because the owner’s granddaughter just happened to be looking for an apartment and a roommate at that very time.

In the same vein, while it was less of an accident that she became friends with Mary Margaret Blanchard (NYU theater major and friend of Ruby’s who liked to study at the diner), it was entirely by chance that Mary Margaret got her working crew. The truth of the matter is that Emma had a 4-month-old and very little cash, and the NYU theater department needed someone to do some scenery painting. While she may not have been the most artistic of people, Emma was pretty sure that she could handle putting paint on the wall. She could come in whenever she wasn’t working at Granny’s, and best of all, she could bring Henry with her in his carrier. It’s a perfect convergence of circumstances. The powers that be must have been pleased, because come show week, they’d asked her to stay and help move sets. And after that, well… things just spiraled from there.

The funny thing is that Emma had never considered herself a theater fan. When she had started working NYU shows, it had just been a job, not some great passion. Granted, she had only seen a terrible high school production of Fiddler on the Roof and a nearly worse community theater production of Ragtime – and both only because they were free and through her school at the time. There just wasn’t really a chance to see any quality theater as a foster kid. Ruby, when she found that out, naturally decided to fix the situation immediately by taking Emma and Mary Margaret to see Chicago for her own birthday. And as soon as Emma heard “All That Jazz”… she was gone. There was no going back.

Emma somehow found herself an unofficial member of the NYU theater family, especially when visiting lecturers and special events used the auditorium – events that still needed staffing but that the theater majors were reluctant to assist with. From there, she followed Mary Margaret and Ruby (their own aspiring costume designer) through their own smaller roles and shows. Ruby took extra classes in hair and makeup at a local cosmetology school, hoping to expand her portfolio of talents. Mary Margaret kept adding to her resume any way she could, working on any show that would cast her. And Emma somehow continued working her way up the ranks, recommended by word of mouth, towing a toddler (and later a child) along with her. Somehow, all those fortunate accidents brought her here, to this moment – an adult with her own place, a great kid, a support system of friends she views as family, and an ever-rising positive reputation in a decently paid profession. For someone who thought, ten years ago, that her life would be a series of dead end jobs and tiny apartments shared with roommates she’d despise, every day is like she’s living a dream.

This feels like the pinnacle of her achievements, however. She’s certainly worked as a stage manager before – in fact, it’s become her own niche, calling the shots. Her unconventional education has resulted in a working knowledge of nearly all the aspects of technical theater, which has proved incredibly helpful in dealing with her various colleagues. It’s like speaking another language - people are more willing to fill her in on the more complicated terminology when she shows she knows the basics. But this… this is a whole different thing. This isn’t one of her Off-Broadway shows, or one of her limited runs, but a major production. It wasn’t supposed to be – when she signed on as stage manager, set to work with a young director she came up with at NYU, it was still Off-Broadway, an adaptation of Pride & Prejudice they already knew would either be a huge hit or sink into obscurity. But then, some investor who loved the original work caught wind of Merlin’s vision, and suddenly, they had a significantly higher budget, a theater right in the heart of the theater district, and likely a lengthy run – if all goes well. Oh, and one more thing had significantly increased – the pressure on everyone involved.

Of course, just to complicate things, the change in venue isn’t the only thing weighing on Emma’s mind. Initially, Emma had been asked to serve as one of the assistant stage managers, to work backstage the way she prefers and relaying the stage manager’s orders, helping the entire show run smoothly. However, even that plan had changed. The intended production stage manager, finding herself pregnant with twins and violently ill as a result, chose not to participate in the show. Emma can’t blame her – she remembers how tired she was with Henry, and he was only one baby. But Merlin had then asked Emma to step up into an expanded role, saying that he trusted her for this position more than anyone else.

Emma’s flattered, she really is, but the truth is that she’s never run a show at this level. Call the cues for a show, check the equipment, coordinate everything that needs to happen? Yes, sure, of course. She can do that  in her sleep now (somewhat literally, sadly – she’s developed an unconscious habit of dreaming the various light cues). She’s stage managed her smaller shows without any issues. But with a budget this large and stakes this high? Feeling like she personally is the linchpin that could make this show soar or crash in spectacular fashion? On a show they’re all aware could make their careers? That’s new, and terrifying, and Emma privately wonders if she’s the right woman for the job.

But she takes the promotion for that very reason - it’s new, and an incredible opportunity to get her name out there if the production succeeds. She’d be an idiot to turn this down, but that doesn’t make her any less nervous.

Really, at the end of the day, this latest promotion is representative of how she’s made her way through most of her career – a bunch of happy accidents and an unwillingness to say no to any opportunity, now having lead her to a cold room and a crowd of men who all want to be Mr. Darcy.

Nice.

Honestly, this part of the job leaves her as basically a glorified secretary, recording everyone’s contact information so that she and Merlin can handle callbacks later. He asks for her opinion every so often, but honestly, what is he expecting her to say? She can’t carry a tune, and her opinions are usually “yeah, he seems like he won’t be a complete pain in my ass”. They’ve already pre-cast their Elizabeth – a lovely woman named Belle French, who had been an up-and-coming TV actress before an ugly scandal with a prominent producer – but Merlin had wanted someone new for Mr. Darcy. Emma can’t help but understand and agree with that decision – Mr. Darcy is somewhat of an unknown factor for so much of the source material, it seems appropriate that their actor also be something of an unknown quantity, someone the public doesn’t know how to define yet. Unfortunately, they must have overly emphasized the arrogant side of Darcy in the casting call, not the shy romantic, which seems to have brought out every egotistical actor in the city - all convinced that they would be perfect for the role. Don’t get her wrong, the arrogant façade Darcy presents is certainly important (and definitely present in this room, good lord), but Pride & Prejudice was one of the few books in high school Emma actually enjoyed – she knows there needs to be more than that. Whoever they choose needs to also be able to pull off a certain amount of vulnerability, a certain level of discomfort and awkwardness. So many of these would-be Darcys are just too… suave for her taste.

That’s why she’s particularly hopeful about this next prospect. He had swaggered in, as confident as the rest, but as she’d watched him interact with the others, there had been a certain amount of nerves that the rest weren’t letting show. He aces the choreography audition (perhaps because he throws himself into rehearsing in a way the others don’t, like it’ll ruin their persona if they’re shown practicing the steps), has a singing voice that will work well for Darcy (while looking adorable, scratching behind his ear when they ask about his relatively small experience on the stage). What really sells things for Emma, however, is how, when introduced to Belle for a test of how they’ll act together, he stutters over all his words and turns bright red after finally blurting out a “oh, I’ve heard so much about you!”. He’s an awkward mess behind that swagger and false confidence, and it’s a little perfect.

(It doesn’t hurt that he’s easy on the eyes, and one of the more polite Darcys she’s dealt with today.)

So when, after a very long day, she’s asked her opinion about the variety of men who auditioned that day, Emma doesn’t hesitate to put her personal vote in for Killian Jones.

God, she just hopes she doesn’t come to regret that decision.