#literally every time I listen to cardigan I think of them

[mystra-midnight]

— CALL ME LITTLE SUNSHINE | part i

pairing: rockstar ! eddie x innocent ! reader

tags: pet names. dirty talk. making-out. fingering. oral; (fem receiving). marking; (hickeys). loss of virginity. corruption kink. semi-public sex. eddie is entirely pussy whipped.

w/c: 6.7k.

a/n: welcome to part one! it's been a hot minute since i've posted anything as thought out and in-depth as this so if you could take a few minutes to reblog or comment some feedback, i'd very much appreciate it. ♥

"Corroded Coffin! Corroded Coffin! Corroded Coffin!"

The ever-growing crowd had been calling for the band the entire time you'd been waiting in line, which, after looking at the watch tucked beneath the sleeve of your cardigan, had been almost an hour and a half. The chanting had gotten so loud that, at some point, you'd stopped being able to hear yourself think, instead relying on Steve's large hand clasped around your own to tell you when to shuffle forward.

You felt out of place, unlike Steve and Robin. Everywhere you looked, people were dressed in leather and chains; piercings here, there, and everywhere; fishnets; big black platform boots; heavy make-up; and tattoos. And then there was you, dressed in a simple summer dress, hugging a knitted cardigan around your shoulders, wearing strappy sandals, and looking like someone right out of the Stepford Wives.

Other people noticed; you'd swear it, though no one said anything. As you looked between people, you caught a few of them looking at you, their expressions a motley of emotions that made you shift uncomfortably. Metal music had never been a particular favourite of yours, and concerts like this—where people were packed in like sardines—definitely weren't your preferred scene. The thought of being alone, snuggled beneath a blanket, and enjoying a glass of Moscato was much more appealing.

But you'd promised Steve and Robin that you'd come.

Well, no, not exactly. You hadn't promised either of them anything; instead, you'd given in to their constant whining. Steve and Robin had hung themselves from your legs as though they were dramatic, tantruming toddlers, pouting, and begging you to go with them. And after promising to cook dinner every night for a week—no, wait, a month!—your resolve finally broke.

That was how you found yourself finally walking through the double doors of the stadium. A gust from the air conditioner greeted you as you stepped inside, blowing your hair into your eyes and lip gloss, but it was a welcomed relief.

"I think that took literally forever." Your feet were already aching, and the thought of standing for another two hours was mentally and physically exhausting. Sure, you'd listened to some of Corroded Coffin's songs and thought they were good, but you weren't looking forward to standing in a sweaty crowd.

"Right. That was crazy, and they only have two scanners going. It's going to take forever to get everyone inside." Steve replied. His fingers tightened around yours when he felt your strides slowing, and he turned to notice your attention was on the merchandise display a few feet away. Following your gaze, he found the band tees hung up on a pinboard, images pressed onto the fronts and backs of each one. Some showed the band's tour dates and the cities they were scheduled to stop in, while others had stylised versions of Eddie's face.

Steve practically beamed with pride. He was proud of how far Eddie had come since they'd met—from school freak to famous rockstar. It was a big change, but a well-deserved one, given all the shit he'd been through. Somehow, he'd remained modest and hadn't forgotten where he'd come from; he'd gotten his uncle out of the trailer and into a two-bedroom apartment; he thanked his uncle and friends during every interview; he'd even forgiven his childhood bullies, though he never forgot what they'd done to him.

"Come on," he said while tugging your hand. "We should get in before the show starts," he said when you hesitated, teeth tugging on your lower lip as you continued to eye the shirts, bandanas, and posters on display. It was called the Upside Down Tour, and the band had released a limited-edition shirt for the tour.

"I want to get a shirt; this is the first concert like this I've ever been to. I want something to remember it." You explained. You wriggled your fingers in his, hinting that you wanted him to let go. If you'd have blinked, you might have missed it, but you swore that Steve and Robin shared a look—the kind that carried secret conversations and amusement.

Your heart stuttered in your chest, painful and sudden, while your mind raced to a dozen terrible thoughts. What if they regretted bringing you along, even though they'd practically begged you to go? What if they were angry? Fuck, what if they hated you? You must have looked like you were about to pass out because Steve took pity on you, reassuringly squeezing your hand as he stepped closer.

"Shit, sorry," he apologised with a crooked smile. "It's all good. We can pick one up after the show, okay? We need to get inside before security locks the doors."

"Oh," you answered. You ducked your head to hide your face, which felt like it was burning with embarrassment. You suddenly felt childish for letting your anxiety get the better of you, especially given that this was Steve and Robin, who had been nothing but kind from the moment you'd first met them. "Of course. After the show."

As though she sensed your distress, which she more than likely did because you radiated emotions like the sun radiated heat, Robin grabbed your other hand, lacing her fingers with yours, and gave you a sympathetic smile that mimicked the one on Steve's face. You loved them, but sometimes you hated them. So often, Robin and Steve seemed to be on the same page, on the same mental wavelength, having entire conversations with the lofting of a brow or half-smirk while you were on your own, a stranger looking in.

You tried not to think about it and tried desperately not to let negative emotions get the better of you tonight. You were at a concert with two amazing people, about to see a fantastic band play live. It was going to be a good night. Steve showed his ticket to one of the women managing the traffic flow, who motioned down a steep staircase into a standing pit right in front of the stage.

As you predicted, the crowd was already massive; there were too many people to fit comfortably within the stadium, but no one would complain as long as everyone behaved. And everyone would behave if they were able to see the band play. It wasn't long before the lights went down, and the crowd's cheering rose to a thunderous crescendo.

You felt the violent vibrations of the bass guitar as the bassist began the opening rift—how it rattled the ivory cage around your lungs until your entire body swayed to the rhythm. A sudden fireworks explosion dazzled and blinded you as the crowd rushed forward. Then the atmosphere turned electric, casting a weaving web on the crowd and drawing them in.

When the smoke settled, you saw the band had taken their places on stage, dressed in black denim, leather, chains, tattoos, and wild hair. They preened beneath the attention of their peers as the frontman and lead singer, Eddie Munson, moved to stand before a microphone. "I hope you're ready to rock, Hawkins, 'cause we're not stopping until the cops come knocking!"

Steve grabbed your wrist and dragged you in front of him, pushing you closer to the stage. That was how you found yourself standing front and centre. One of his hands grabbed your hip firmly, ready to break the fingers of any other wandering hands. He wrapped his other arm around Robin's shoulders, holding her to him as they sang along to a song you didn't know the words to.

It wasn't your proximity to him or the bruising grip of his fingers that warmed your blood, but the singer on stage. You'd seen pictures of Eddie in the trashy magazine you picked up from the gas station occasionally; each one seemed to be a different headline, each as scandalous as the last. Corroded Coffin's singer caught with another woman? Eddie Munson, Satanic Priest! Some of them were ridiculous, and none of them had been particularly entertaining, especially when, in every interview, he seemed humble, perhaps even flustered by the fame.

The sight of him on stage sent heat dripping down your cheeks and into your neck, spiralling through your veins to gather at your core.

He looked like a devil but had the face of an angel—wild curls bounced around his face, you caught glimpses of his inked skin, and there was a perfect trail of hair on his abdomen. He strummed at his guitar strings as though it were his lover, plucking the cords with perfectly practised movements. You wondered what else his fingers could do, and a wild blush crept into your face.

As though your thoughts weren't mortifying enough, he seemed to have noticed. His eyes found yours in the crowd, as if he could see straight into your brain and was plucking the fantasies from your mind.

The world slowed to a crawl and faded until it was just the two of you and your racing thoughts. You drank in the sight of him. You caught glimpses of his tattoos, watched how droplets of sweat rolled down the hollow of his throat as the heat of the stage lights bore down on him, and watched how his lips moved as he sang, the rasps of his voice enough to make you tremble.

You tugged your lower lip between your teeth, almost afraid to look away; you wanted this moment to go on forever and ever. But as abruptly as it began, the fantasy ended when he looked out across the crowd, and as he did, the world snapped back into place. Your heart was racing, and your breath was erratic.

You felt silly having been caught up in such an intense moment with a perfect stranger, even if he was handsome and famous—a perfect mixture of exhilaration and embarrassment. You glanced at Robin and Steve, hoping they hadn't noticed your captivated state. They hadn't.

The two were still singing and enjoying the music, bouncing up and down as a guitar solo swept through the speakers. Worrying your lip between your teeth, you looked back at the stage, trying valiantly to refocus on the music. After a while, the guitar's pounding bass and electrifying energy were enough to pull you back into the moment.

You felt captivated, as though whatever dark spell he was weaving had fallen upon you, too. His performance was filled with raw emotion and a rebellious spirit, with the lyrics resonating with something deep inside you, echoing your desires, and enticing a wildness to spark in your veins.

You stole another glance at him, and his eyes again met yours. It was almost as if the universe had conspired to connect you two in a chaotic sea of people. With a sudden burst of courage you didn't think yourself capable of, you gave a bashful smile and lifted your hand, waving at him.

He saw and acknowledged you with a knowing smile, to your surprise and amusement. It felt like a dirty secret. You would swear that your face was on fire from how hard you were blushing, your fingers wringing together nervously at the front of your dress.

It seems silly. In fact, you knew it was silly, childish, and stupid.

You didn't know him, and he didn't know you. You knew the media's version of him—the stylised rockstar who'd grown up poor, defied the odds, and came out on top—the playboy who had a different girl every other week and who'd been caught having sex with fans in odd places. But what you'd felt, however brief, had ignited a fire in the pit of your stomach. You felt it smouldering as you were lost in the music and its wild energy.

The last guitar riff played, and the crowd erupted into thunderous applause. You expected the crowd to thin down now that the show was finished, but they remained, hooting and hollering, vying for his attention.

"He was incredible!" You shouted as you turned to Steve, straining to be heard above the crowd. He gave you a funny expression and tilted his head to the side, causing a stir of hair to fall into his face.

"What?" 

"I said," you shouted while moving closer to him. "That was incredible!"

This time, he heard you, chuckling under his breath and holding you in place when you tried to slip through the crowd. And then you saw Eddie standing at the edge of the stage, a security guard at his side. You could see they were talking, now if only you'd learned to read lips. Except you didn't need to read lips to know he was pointing right at the three of you.

Your heart stopped mid-beat, your mouth running dry, as a second security guard approached the three of you. From where you were frozen in time, you didn't see Steve and Robin grinning at each other or the glint in their eyes.

You were star-struck, staring at the security guard as if he'd grown a second head. And he might as well have because things like this didn't happen. Maybe it happened in the movies, but not real life and you weren't some perfectly poised beauty. You were a real woman with feelings; they were all over the place right now.

You grabbed Steve's arm when he stepped away, pulling him to a stop. He looked down at you with a furrowed brow. "What the hell is going on?" you hissed at him, not angry but entirely surprised and uncertain. He gave you a dashing and daring smile.

"Think he just invited us backstage."

"What?"

You'd tried to convince yourself that this was a wild dream. You even pinched yourself—twice. Things like this didn't happen to ordinary people, especially people like you. The shy woman who had to have a drink in her hand, the woman who took sips to fill the silence when talking became overwhelming, the woman who stammered and blushed with little more than a wink from a handsome man.

But it was happening. And now there you were, backstage, with Steve and Robin at your side, staring at a door with the band's name written in block letters. You could hear people milling about inside.

The security guard knocked, and you heard the muffled sound of movement, followed by something being knocked over and a chorus of laughter. Finally, the door was hauled open.

"Eddie!"

Robin's outburst startled you. She pushed past you and Steve, then the security guard, and threw herself at the man. You gawked at them, eyes wide as your soul burst to life, heart skipping several beats when he spun her in a circle. Robin's feet didn't touch the ground as they laughed. 

You couldn't believe it.

There, standing not even five feet away, was the lead singer of Corroded Coffin, Eddie-fucking-Munson—the very same man you'd been eye-fucking on stage not even an hour ago. A part of you wanted the ground to open wide and swallow you whole. Another part screamed at you to cling to him as Robin had done.

"Hey," Steve whispered, leaning slightly closer to your ear. "Are you doing okay? You look like you've seen a ghost or something."

"What?" You replied, your voice rising an octave in panic. Your gaze whirled between Steve and the duo, who seemed oblivious to your presence, and then back again. "Yes, well, no! You didn't tell me you knew him!"

"Who? Eddie?" He asked.

"That guy, right there, the famous guy hugging our friend?" You were incredulous, your arm flailing in their direction, much to Robin's amusement and Eddie's confusion. "Yes, him! You two know him?"

"What about Eddie?"

The sudden appearance of his voice made you squeak in surprise. His voice was dark, deep, and delectable, like chocolate, and hoarse. It felt like liquid heat pouring down your spine, flooding every intersecting bone until you trembled. Eddie smiled, and his cheeks dimpled in a way that had you blushing wildly.

You stared as Steve and Eddie swept each other into a bear hug, slapping each other on the back and again on the arm as they came apart. Robin gave you a playful poke in the side, bringing your attention back to her.

"What about Eddie?" She asked, which inevitably brought all of their attention to you. You shifted beneath the weight of their combined stare. Your eyes found Eddie's, and you looked away quickly.

"Yeah, what about Eddie, girl?" He playfully added.

"Nothing! It's just that—um—well, I didn't know you—uh—that they knew you. That's all." You say, stumbling over the words like an awkward teenager. You mentally kicked yourself, but in truth, you'd never been good at talking to people. You'd always been a little shy, and everyone made fun of you before Steve and Robin slowly started coaxing you out of your shell.

And it wasn't as though he knew you. He probably hadn't seen you in the crowd. Now that you think about it, Eddie was just as likely to be smiling at them, not you, when he was on stage. But that didn't do anything to pull the blush out of your face or stop the way you shuffled under the gaze of the trio.

"Oh, yeah," Eddie said with an awkward laugh, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. Your eyes went a little buggy when his shirt rode up, revealing that trail of hair that disappeared into the band of his jeans.

You looked away quickly before he could catch you staring, finding something on the wall that suddenly fascinated you. He didn't notice, or at least didn't say anything if he did. "Yeah, yeah, the three of us went to high school together. It seems like a lifetime ago."

Robin stared at him, her expression incredulous. "It was, like, five years ago, Eds. Don't you dare make me older than I am!" She said as the back of her hand connected with his stomach. Eddie huffed as he doubled over dramatically, clutching his stomach and coughing as though she'd just punched the air from his lungs. You laughed despite yourself, momentarily drawing his attention to you; he flashed you a dazzling smile before hustling the three of you inside. 

It would have been spacious inside the room if it wasn't filled with boxes of merchandise, band equipment, and the rest of the band. The little composure you'd managed to hold onto disappeared when Steve and Robin rushed inside, similarly greeting the others, hugging and laughing like old friends. 

You lingered at the door, unsure what to do with yourself, when you felt a hand against the small of your back, fingertips tapping just above the curve of your ass, high enough to be respectful but low enough to send a delicious shiver down your spine.

"Come on, sweetheart. They don't bite," Eddie said with a laugh before leaning down to whisper in your ear. You felt his breath against your neck, the warmth of it making you shiver as he caught a glimpse of your cleavage before you hugged your cardigan around yourself. 

"Well, I might," he added. "If you ask nicely."

He didn't wait to see your reaction, but from the beaming smile plastered on his face, he'd heard your squeak of surprise. Instead, Eddie flounced into the room, joining Steve, Robin, and the others as you followed.

Once official introductions were made, you sat at the end of one of the couches next to Eddie, who seemed entirely unaware of your nervous inner turmoil. Occasionally, his thigh brushed against yours, jostling you in his excitable state as the group recalled their high school years.

"You were quite the ladies' man in high school, Steve. Don't act bashful now," the drummer, Gareth, said with a booming laugh. You found yourself smiling and laughing with him, amused by the way Steve rubbed at the back of his neck and tried to deflect. 

"I remember Robin telling me that the girls used to call him King Steve." You added. Gareth howled with laughter at how Steve flushed a deeper shade of pink. You smiled at him, pretty and sweet, but should have known he wouldn't let that slight go unanswered. You hardly had time to steel yourself before he returned fire.

"Hey now," he said, his smile positively devilish. "Don't start throwing shade if you can't handle the sun, sweets. Because I could tell some stories about you, too. Well, no, I couldn't. I don't think I've ever heard those bed springs squeak."

You choked on a mouthful of beer, coughing as you glared at him in horror. "Steven Joseph Harrington!" Your face burned at the revelation of a secret you'd shared with him one drunk and wild night. Using his full government name was enough for him to know he'd crossed a line, but the laughter of his friends encouraged him.

"I can't help it if that's the truth, you know," he said with a shrug.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Eddie shouted, shaking his hand wildly to get everyone's attention, especially yours. You squirmed in your seat, pushing yourself hard against the arm of the couch to try and escape his intense stare when he rounded on you. 

"Never? As in never, ever?"

At that moment, you wanted the ground to open wide and swallow you. It wasn't that you were embarrassed to be a virgin, but the attention made you uncomfortable. You'd never been the type of woman to want a one-night stand with a stranger. Steve had offered once when you'd both been drunk and confessing secrets, but you'd never felt the itch.

And it wasn't that you considered your virginity to be a cherished and sacred part of yourself. But you'd never wanted to be that vulnerable with someone unless you trusted them entirely. 

"Bullshit." Eddie spat, not nasty, but disbelieving. "You've gotta be shitting me. A pretty thing like you hasn't ever had sex? I know you're lying."

You stared at your hands resting in your lap, fingers wringing the hem of your dress until the stitching threatened to fray. From across the room, you heard the vague sound of Robin talking, mumbling something about you being as ripe as a cherry. She purposely popped her lips, and you wanted to die.

"Jesus Christ," you managed to choke out. "Yes, okay, I'm a total virgin. Can we talk about something else, please?"

The universe appeared to take mercy on you because the conversation changed topics at breakneck speed. One moment, Eddie was gawking at you; the next, he was focused entirely upon Jeff, who'd bought up something called the Hellfire Club. You took the opportunity to down the rest of your beer, letting the flavour of it wash away the taste of embarrassed tears.

The night went on in relative peace. You drank with them, listening to their wild stories of high school shenanigans and offering your own when prompted. You hadn't realised how much time had passed until you glanced at your watch and gawked: two in the morning.

"So, never?" Eddie asked without warning, his voice soft and almost innocent, breaking the silence that had blossomed within the room. You pulled your cardigan around your shoulders as though the thin material could shield you from his gaze. The others had fallen asleep, either drunk or high or just beyond exhausted. It was just the two of you.

Just you and Eddie.

"Look," you said with a sigh, your face burning again. "I really don't want to talk about that."

He held his hands in the universal sign of hold up. "I'm not judging you, sweetheart. I'm just curious. A pretty thing like you has to have a trail of broken hearts behind her."

You laughed despite yourself and relaxed back onto the couch, enjoying the warmth radiating from him. He was so close that you could see the way his Adam's apple bobbed with each swallow, the way he traced his lips with the tip of his tongue, the way the fabric of his jeans stretched across his lap, the bulge there. . .

You snapped your head away when he caught your staring.

"It's not like that. I've had boyfriends. I've just never felt comfortable doing anything with them. Not that they were bad people. I didn't want to do it because everyone was doing it. Then I got busy, and dating stopped happening. You understand? Of course you do. You're famous; I doubt you have much time for dating. Not that anyone wouldn't want to date you."

You were rambling, the words falling from your lips like verbal vomit, and you couldn't stop. Eddie silenced you, moving without warning to close the distance lingering between the two of you. He grabbed you by the back of the neck, his fingers rough and warm, pulling you into the wall of his chest so that he could slot his mouth against yours.

Eddie Munson tasted like cigarette smoke and alcohol, dark desire wrapped in leather. Eddie Munson smelled like adrenaline and sex, a woman's wet dream. Before you knew what you were doing, you kissed him back, desperate for more.

Eddie led you into an adjacent room, his fingers enveloping yours, providing a comforting anchor. The soft snores of the others faded into a distant hum as he closed the door. Your gaze traced the contours of his back, the curve of his shoulders, the way his studded jacket draped over them, the weight of his chunky black boots and the ruggedness of his ripped jeans. The belt cinched around his narrow waist, crowned with a buckle shaped like a bat, adding a touch of mystery to his rugged charm.

He turned abruptly, his hand slamming against the door beside your head, eliciting a startled yelp from you. Eddie pressed against you, your hands instinctively clutching the fabric of his shirt. Caught between the desire to pull him closer and the instinct to push him away, you found yourself staring at him with wide, uncertain eyes. Your heart pounded against its ivory prison, the uncertainty of the moment adding to its frantic beat.

"E—Eddie?" You managed to stammer his name, your voice impossibly quiet, overflowing with uncertainty and a mix of fear and desire. He didn't seem to mind. He smiled at you, his breath washing over your mouth and nose like a sweet rum, leaving you light-headed. You squeezed your thighs together as tight as you could, desperate to stifle the growing heat at your core.

He felt it, your nervous shifting and the wild beating of your heart as he cruised a hand along your body, from your hip and then over your breast to clutch the back of your neck. He rubbed his thumb over your racing pulse. "Has anyone ever kissed you like this before? Pushed you against a wall, touched you, told you how beautiful you are?"

Your face burned. Eddie knew that you'd been kissed before; you'd told him as much. But you'd also told him you were a virgin. At twenty-four, you'd almost grown out of being embarrassed by the fact. 

"No," you answered in a low exhale, trying to duck your head to avoid his smouldering stare. His eyes were blown with lust, almost black as coal, as he pushed his thumb against your chin, forcing you to look at him. 

He leaned in closer, the feel of him like a weighted blanket on your chest, making it harder to breathe but in a pleasant way. It made your head fuzzy, like floating in a beautiful daydream, except his lips ghosted over yours. The faintest of touches had reality snapping into place around you.

"Never, ever?" Eddie whispered, his lips brushing, tugging, teasing yours. He was so close that he'd invaded all your senses until all you saw, heard, and breathed was him. He held fast when he wanted to move. Eddie waited for someone to give in to desire and bring the other into the flames. He wanted and needed it to be you.

The tiny whimper you made shot through him, racing through his blood like a bolt of electricity until his cock throbbed. And then you took the plunge, a hand at the back of his neck, the other hauling him in by that pretty studded jacket so you could brush your mouth against his.

It was all he needed—a silent confession, unspoken permission.

Eddie pushed against you until you felt the studs of his leather jacket and his dangling chains pressing into you through your clothing, your dress suddenly restrictive and in the way. His hands were everywhere, cupping your face, running through your hair. And then he dropped to his knees with a thud, pressing kisses down your stomach, leaving wet marks against the fabric of your dress as he ran his hands up the backs of your legs.

"No one ever touched you like this?"

You felt like you were going up in flames. His touch was fire licking your skin, beautiful and pure, leaving you trembling. His hands moved up the back of your thighs, and when his mouth found your belly button, tongue swirling once, then twice, you grabbed him by the shoulders to steady yourself.

"Words, sweet girl. I need you to answer," he said in a husky tone, pinching the back of your thigh to bring you out of your mind and into the moment. He looked at you from beneath his impossibly dark lashes, his eyes dark, twinkling with mischief.

"Never," you managed to gasp when his hands began drifting high, pushing your dress up until he could bunch it at your hips. And then he was face-to-face with your panties, groaning dramatically, making a sound that would make a pornstar blush. 

"Have mercy," Eddie moaned, his breath hot against your mound even through the barrier of clothing. His eyes moved back to yours, and you flushed with embarrassment. He was staring at you like he wanted to devour you. "Even your fucking panties are adorable. That little bow? I'm going to take my time unwrapping this present."

Yet, despite this admission, he didn't take his time.

His mouth landed on your clothed cunt without a preamble. Your knees shook and threatened to give out as he worked his tongue against the wet fabric, tasting your arousal and letting it slide down his throat like a fine wine. Eddie found that virgins were quick to get wet. His calloused fingers kneaded the globes of your arse, pulling you closer, his talented tongue pushing your panties into your slit so he could tease your clit with gentle licks.

You bit your knuckles to stifle the sounds of your moans as pleasure snaked through your veins, creeping through your bloodstream until you broke into a sweat.

"Put your hands in my hair," he demanded with a rough voice, and like a mindless fool, you complied. His hair was a mess of wild curls that you pulled on, sinking your fingers deep into his plush locks when he started to work your panties down your thighs. "Good girl."

"Oh god." As the fabric pooled at your ankles, your head hit the door with a soft thud. You were like putty in his hands—willing to walk through the fires of hell if it meant he'd keep touching you. Eddie freed one of your ankles and threw your leg over his shoulder, bringing you closer.

Words could not describe the feeling of his tongue against your slick folds or the sensation of the tip flicking against your clit. It was like lightning arched through the sky to melt the skin from your bones. You were burning up. And he'd lit the match.

Eddie was loud and messy, lewd. The sounds that clawed up his throat were pornographic. Each wet schlick of his mouth was accompanied by a throaty moan as he sucked your clit and teased your throbbing hole with the tip of his tongue.

It was an out-of-body experience—you never realised you could feel this good. Eddie held you by the back of the thighs, his grip firm, pulling you onto his tongue until your flesh goosepipmpled beneath his touch. You could have collapsed when he withdrew, a line of saliva connecting the tip of his tongue to your clit.

"Words, pretty girl. You gotta use them, or I'm going to stop."

You whined desperately, weaving your fingers deeper into his wild hair. "Please don't stop, Eddie. . ."

"Then talk to me. Let me hear those pretty sounds."

He waited only a moment, his dark eyes staring into yours with the intensity of the sun. He took in your flushed cheeks and shallow breaths that made your chest heave. Then he resumed his meal. The sound you made in response was embarrassing—at least, it should have been. You should have wanted the ground to split open and swallow you. But you didn't.

"It's good," you choked out, squeezing your eyes shut as he ran the flat of his tongue along your slit, the tip flicking your clit in a delicious way that made your hips twitch; forward, then back, like you wanted him to eat you alive but also to escape. 

The feeling was exquisite—like nothing you had ever felt—knocking the air from your lungs, making the muscles in your legs tense and your core weep. Your whole body jerked under his tongue, a shiver shaking your spine, your bones turning to jelly as he licked and sucked your drenched cunt. "Oh god. . . I think. . . I—I'm close."

You'd had orgasms before, but nothing quite like this. It was a slow build, each swipe of Eddie's tongue amplifying the pressure between your hips, sending jolts of electricity through your veins until your nerves crackled and popped. It was difficult to describe; you could taste the words on the tip of your tongue, but they melted away with each moan he drew from your lips.

And then it spread out through your body, a searing warmth that threatened once more to melt the skin from your bones.

"You're so wet, sweetness, m'fucking drowning here," Eddie said. Even though his words were vulgar, the low growl with which he spoke sent you tumbling down the other side of pleasure. The first wave zinged through you, knocking the air from your lungs and sparking every one of your nerves to life.

You bit your knuckles hard until you tasted blood, but the flavour was quickly lost as the second wave seared through your limbs. Eddie didn't stop—not once. Each swipe of his tongue against your clit, each push of it into your virginal hole, sent wisps of fire shooting through your veins, adding stars and galaxies bursting to life behind your scrunched-shut eyes.

When you returned to earth, you found yourself trembling, his strong hands the pillars that kept you upright. Eddie kissed his way back up your body, slowly working your dress up as he went until he could pull it over your head. He threw it over his shoulder, the fabric a distant memory as it hit the ground, lost and now forgotten.

"No one ever made you cum before, have they?" He whispered, his breath hot, his smirk feral, as he teased his lips along the slope of your neck. You whined when your bare cunt rubbed against his dark denim jeans, the rough drag of the rips and tears against your lips sending you hurtling toward the sky once more.

"No," you managed to say before catching his mouth for a wild, clumsy kiss. Eddie happily obliged, pushing his tongue into your mouth and licking your teeth so you tasted yourself.

"Touch me. . ."

"What do good girls say?"

"Please."

You would die if he didn't touch you in the next three seconds. You would collapse to the ground, melt into a puddle at his feet, and literally die.

Thankfully, he took pity on you. 

Eddie kissed you deeply, with the fire of a thousand suns; his hot breath stole through your lungs when he swallowed your moans, leaving you on the verge of combustion. You felt lost in him, touching him here, there, and everywhere as you tried to strip him. Eddie didn't let you. He grabbed your wrists and held them at the small of your back, and he moved you both across the room.

Your lips never once parted. The moment was composed of hot breaths, searing kisses, and teasing bites, weakening your knees terribly. Eddie fell back into a high chair in front of the make-up mirrors. You were desperate to climb into his lap, to wind your legs around him and leech the warmth from his chest, but instead, he turned you and pulled you into his lap, back to chest.

"Eddie," you whispered his name in a sigh, heady with desire. "I want more. . ."

He pressed a kiss against the shell of your ear, smiling in response. His lips were wet, his mouth wanting as he lowered it to your next, sucking a mark into your plush skin. "Open your eyes, sweetness."

Eddie hooked your knees over his thighs, spreading you open and exposing you to the mirror. The tips of his fingers ghosted along the crease of your inner thigh, making your breath hitch in anticipation. "You're beautiful," he said with a hum, nuzzling his nose into your hair. You caught his eyes in the reflection and saw the stark desire that had turned his pupils black, the hunger.

And you saw the expression mirrored in your own reflection. Your skin was flushed the subtlest shade of pink, pussy glistening with arousal. Eddie honestly thought you were the prettiest thing he'd ever fucking seen; so sweet, so innocent.

The stretch of his thick fingers was immediately exquisite, the slick of your arousal coating them entirely. Eddie watched the mirror, transfixed by the way it dropped from around his fingers, sliding down the curve of your ass to darken his denim jeans.

He felt you clench around him, tension seeping through your body as the pain collided with pleasure, twisting through your veins like snakes, intertwined, threatening to consume you from the inside out. You cried out when he crooked them, hips rising in search of more; his other hand cruised up your body, the soft swell of your stomach, cupping a tit in the palm of his hand, thumb teasing your nipple into a hardened peak.

Eddie growled against your neck. He was as hard as a rock, and each jolt of your hips had your arse rutting against his aching cock. You reached back to grab his hair, winding your fingers through his wild curls as the pleasure mounted. You were a guitar, and he had years of practice. He watched the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the way you couldn't sit still as he fucked his fingers in and out of your cunt, the way you clawed at his jeans.

You put a hand over your mouth to stifle the way you moan, loud, wantonly, like a whore. You felt dirty—like this was a scandalous secret. The thought of being found was erotically terrifying.

"You getting close, sweetness?" Eddie asked; no, he growled the words against your neck, teeth clipping the sensitive skin. "I can feel it. You're squeezing my fingers so fucking tight. Are you thinking about my cock? How much better it'll feel than my fingers?"

As though to emphasise his words, his thrust against you, his erection hard against the globes of your arse, leaving him moaning as his own muscles twisted with desire, pure liquid heat pouring through his bones.

"Cum for me, baby."

He wasn't asking; no, he was demanding.

tag list ::

@micheledawn1975 | @maxstecc

—interest in being tagged in future chapters? send me a message!

[urhoneycombwitch]

in sickness, to cherish

foreword: so excited to release this lil’ babe into the world. PTSD and trauma healing is of special interest to me, I hope you enjoy 💖 (p.s. from my limited research I don’t think they would have used a heart monitor for low-risk patients but it is literally integral to my plot so I’m breaking my anachronistic purity rule. soz)

wc: 3k

cw: descriptions of seizure, PTSD + hospital/medical trauma for the whole gang, brief mention of non-consensual drugging, R is referred to once as “Mrs” & “girlfriend”, angst w/ comfort

___

The mounted clock on the wall of the dingy Hawkins Memorial waiting room ticks over to nine PM, a brutal reminder that time (for everyone else, at least) has not, in fact, stopped.

Nine o’clock. As you pace from one end of the plastic chair-lined aisle to the other, you run the numbers in your head, fingers spastic at your sides- it’s nine right now, and Steve was admitted just after six, which means they’ve been running tests for three hours, even though the charge nurse said it should only take one…

”You wanna step outside for a smoke?”

Eddie speaks up from his seat at the end of the row, catching your bleary gaze before you’re turning on your heel again to complete your looping track.

His voice cuts smoothly over the buzzing fluorescents, the old television in the corner droning with last week’s news cycle; it’s enough to disrupt Robin from her half-sleep against Eddie’s shoulder, blinking into consciousness and stretching her stiff limbs as you respond.

“No, thanks.” Your hands slip to the inside of your elbows, squeezing through layers of soft cardigan in a near-bruise, feet continuing the rhythmic pacing. “You can go, though- I’ll make sure Robin comes to get you if anything happens.”

Eddie clears his throat, sinking back into the hard plastic, rings clicking at the armrests. “Nah, I’m good without one. Just thought you’d want a change of scenery, maybe some fresh air would calm-”

“I’m staying here.”

There’s a sharpness to your voice, a rarity- Robin winces, fingers in her lap twisting and fidgeting as she tries to change the subject. “God, Steve’s gonna be spitting mad when he wakes up. He’s the most doctor-adverse person I know.”

Eddie latches on to this with a humorless chuckle- “Stubborn bastard. Wouldn’t let those lab goons go near him, even after last year-”

“Fuck.” The swear comes from the bottom of your toes, even as you swivel on the balls of your feet to loop back in front of your friends; their faces snap to you, a blur of motion as you pass them again- “You’re right. Steve fucking hates doctors. I should’ve-”

Your next breath comes stilted, fingers a vice-grip on your own arms as you pace, pace, pace- “I should’ve treated this like taking a dog to a vet. Crushed up some pills in his food, or something- he never listens to me when I nag him about his hearing getting worse- do you know how many meals, how many glasses of water we share, every day?”

From the corner of your hazy vision, Robin’s gone still and pale, her voice tremulous- “I didn’t mean to imply- this isn’t your fault, you know-”

But you’re not ready to hear that, guilt surfacing like a sick wave, tears pooling, moments away from spilling over, voice trembling with anguish- “Could’ve been so easy, tell him we’re going for a ride, load him up into the passenger seat, he goes to sleep and I could’a passed him right off to a doctor, to someone who could have prevented this-”

Eddie rises from his seat to stand in the middle of your path, hands lifting to soothe and appease, but you’re still in flight mode, like a bird beating its wings against the confines of its cage.

You flinch away from his touch, standing with your back turned to them both, staring out the dark window, unseeing. “You know what Steve said to me? Right before he hit the ground? He said, ‘Don’t panic, I’m gonna pass out, try not to let my hair get too messed up.’”

An edge of misplaced humor draws a dry laugh from your throat. The dark window reflects your own face back- tear-streaked, red veins encroaching on the whites of your eyes- as you shake your head in disbelief. “He made a joke. To try and distract me from the fact that he was about to hit the ground and go all… all spastic-”

Unbidden flashes of memory surge to the forefront of your mind: victims of last spring. Twisted forms snapped at the bone, Max’s arms and legs bent at horrifying angles, plaster casts from head-to-toe, freckled face still and sallow against the starch-white hospital sheets-

A leather-jacketed form in the reflection behind you, Eddie’s hand solid on your back against the shuddering breaths wracking all the air from your lungs. You don’t flinch away this time.

Your beautiful boy. Steve. With his eye-crinkling smiles and sharp wit and gentle heart, stiff as a board in the middle of your living room, eyes rolled back in his skull like a downed deer, unreachable, just three hours ago.

“I thought it was Vecna. It’s been so long but I thought he’d come back, somehow, I was this close to running upstairs and grabbing our Walkman-”

”But you didn’t.” The hand at your back is joined by another at your arm as Eddie pulls you to face him, his gaze locking on your own, brown eyes full of grave compassion. “You heard the nurse. She said tipping him on his side was the best call you could’a made, sweetheart- you saved him.”

”But I didn’t know,” you insist, “I didn’t know that’s what would help, I just did it ‘cuz I was worried he was going to choke on his own tongue-”

“Semantics. You intuited it, then.” One of Eddie’s hands leaves your arm briefly to make a dismissive gesture through the air- “Which, in my book, is all the more impressive.”

Unconvinced, your voice small and tightening along with your chest- “What if this happens again, and he’s alone, this time? What if he’s working one of his three closing shifts a week, without Robin- what if he’s driving?”

You can’t help the spiraling of your thoughts, what-if scenarios jumping in line, each one more horrifying than the last.

Robin rises to stand beside Eddie, opens her mouth- to deny, to comfort, it’s unclear- but is interrupted by a new nurse who’s just appeared in the doorway.

“Mrs. Harrington?”

This snaps you back to earth, a bit, another watery laugh as Eddie takes a step back, allowing you to swipe at the mess of tears on your face before turning to the nurse- “Yeah. As good as, I guess. How’s he doing?”

With a last look at your friends, the nurse leads you down sickeningly-bright corridors while reading from a clipboard- most of it’s medical jargon, your foggy brain struggling to keep up as you stay on her heels.

What you gather, as you’re led to his room, is nothing new- Steve’s had a seizure, likely due to the trauma his brain incurred from the ‘earthquake’ of ‘86, and it’s unclear what triggered it, or if it’s likely to happen again.

“We’re going to keep him overnight, just to monitor his condition.” The nurse stops at a door labeled Room 202, hinges squeaking as she pushes it open. “He was really lucky, this time. Must’ve had a good guardian angel looking out for him.”

Heart thrumming thick in your throat, you almost ask the nurse to wait, to give you a second- maybe a quick bathroom break to splash some cold water against the tear-tracks, or even an extra few seconds to pretend at being stoic- but she’s already ushering you in with a kind smile.

The nurse pulls the door shut, and you’re left alone with the boy in the bed.

He looks exhausted, dark circles pulling at the soft skin below his eyes, which are full of relief, trained on you as you approach.

“Hey, there’s my girl.” There’s a scratchy quality to Steve’s voice, on its way to being lost.

You were doing really well, no crying or anything, before he spoke. But hearing him, paired with the awful sight of a medical cord wrapping around the width of his broad chest, has your face crumpling in an instant.

“Oh, shit. Aw, honey. C’mere-” Steve reaches for you, halfway to sitting up off his supporting pillows, and you quickly close the gap, sitting near his hip on the bed.

“No, hey- stay down,” you chide through the tears, pushing at the shoulder of his white hospital tee. “Don’t put any stress on your body.”

“Cut the stress, she says,” Steve grumbles, leaning back against the stack of pillows but compromising by pulling you in closer. “My baby’s crying, and she tells me no stress?”

His left palm slips over your cheek, thumb swiping away tears, while his right hand- IV taped flat over the back of it- slides to rest on your waist.

”Gonna tell me what’s wrong, hm?”

Under different circumstances, you’d laugh at his question- christ, where did he want you to start: but with that amber gaze so full of empathy, desperate to fix what’s making you sad, you’re stripped raw with sincerity.

”I was just- I was so scared, Steve-”

Steve pulls your face towards his, needily, a breath away from begging for a kiss before you lean in for one.

He tastes salty, like sweat and tears, lips plush and softly seeking against the seam of your own. Between the kisses, he’s mumbling apologies, “sorry, so sorry”, broken by the need to be as close to you as all the medical gear will allow.

There’s a soft noise from the back of his throat, and you pull away just enough to bump your nose into his, hands running up to push through the soft strands of his hair.

Steve practically purrs under your touch; you’re careful not to disturb the tubing wrapping around the length of his chest, leaning your weight into his shoulders instead.

A vein of hilarity spikes as you remember Steve’s last words before he went under: and here you were, fingers pulling at his dark roots, breaking his one request. When you start to giggle, Steve’s eyes pop open, baffled, hair sticking up at the ends when your fingers leave his hair. Both hands now squeezing at your hips, he feels left out of the joke- “What?”

“I just- nothing. Never mind. I’m really glad you’re okay.” It’s the truth. You frame his lovely face with your hands, kissing his forehead once before sitting up fully. “I don’t wanna fight about it here, okay? Let’s just focus on you feeling better, and then-”

“See, now, wait a minute-” Steve holds up a finger to interrupt. “You don’t get it. I’ve been hoping and praying for hours now that my pretty girlfriend would come in here just so we could have a good fight.”

He tweaks at the skin of your hips (with the IV-hand, so you can’t just smack it away, dammit), smiling up at you far too dreamily for someone reclining in a hospital bed.

Settling against the length of Steve’s torso, your arms cross over his stomach just under the tubing as you start, carefully- “You know, Max had one of these- when she was in the hospital?”

”Yeah, you’re right.” Steve’s hands worm their way under both your cardigan sleeves, seeking out the comfort of skin like a magnet- “Think it tracks heart rate. Or something.”

“Mm-hm. And… you know how she had to go to physical therapy three times a week? For, like, half the school year?”

Steve’s thumbs swipe absently at your wrists, a line pinched between his brows, trying to piece together your angle. “…yeah?”

“Takes a lot of time, to heal from something like that.” Your eyes drop to his chest, throat swelling with the effort of holding back a sob. “And I’m just- just thinking of all the times you might be alone, and how we could have prevented this, and-”

“Hey, hey, hey- shhh…” Steve soothes, shaking his head. “Honey, it was inevitable, okay? Nothing we could’a done. The doc told me this shit can happen, like, years after a big event. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I promise.”

Fighting against the wall of emotion that makes speaking harder, you return his head shake, desperate for understanding- “But you can’t promise that, baby. You had a seizure- an actual, medical emergency, and… we don’t know if it’ll happen again.”

With a purposeful straightening of your spine, you state, resolutely: “I want a different promise.”

Steve presses the crown of his head back into the pillows, melodramatic, resurfacing with a tsk. “So stubborn. What promise you want, then, huh?”

”I want you to promise that you’ll see a doctor- a real one. A head guy. Not some… family medicine quack.”

Steve grins, charming even while unusually pale- “I love it when you talk medical, really gets me going-”

He decides to bail on the rest of that sentence when he sees the flare of irritation on its way to real anger in your face, raising both hands in appeasement- “Okay. Hey- I promise to see a real head doc. I don’t intend on putting you through this again.”

WIth a sigh, you surge forward again, mumbling “Thank you” into Steve’s lips, a kiss of relief and gratitude. Best news you’ve heard all day.

His groans vibrate through you, hands running down the length of your side, near the bottom of your cardigan; you squeak at the intrusion of his cold palms on the bare skin of your waist but they warm quickly, and you’re willingly distracted as his tongue presses against the seam of your lips.

Perhaps not exactly hospital-appropriate, but as it’s been an evening full of adrenaline-filled panic and heartache, you figure some making out might be a good cure for the both of you.

“Won’t scare you like that again,” Steve says, lips already pink and spit-slick, intense and breathless as he clings to you between kisses- “Gonna be okay. You saved me, angel. Love you s’much…”

Your hand, previously resting on Steve’s knee, automatically slides up at his words, notching into the soft expanse of his inner thigh over the thin sheets- “Love you too, so much…”

A bright, electronic noise jolts into frantic beeping- the monitor that Steve’s hooked up to is loud enough to startle you into sitting up.

There’s no time to process or even rearrange yourselves before the nurse from earlier bustles into the room to glare at the machine’s screen; best you can do is a swipe across your mouth, hopefully hiding any evidence of moments-ago spit-swappage as you stammer out, “Um, yeah, sorry- h-he was trying to sit up and that set it off, I guess…?”

Steve lies placid and amenable against his pillows, giving the nurse a gold-medal grin, which unfortunately does nothing to allay her suspicions.

“Uh-huh.” The monitor alarm is stopped short with the press of a few buttons, and she gives Steve a sideways look, clipboard tucked under her arm- “You ready for your other visitors, Mr. Harrington, or should I give you a few more minutes?”

“Bring forth the party, Patricia.” Steve folds his hands behind his head, wincing when his IV gets bumped but covering it with a wink.

Nurse Patricia leaves. You cover your heated face, mortified- “Oh my god. She probably thought I was giving you a handjob or something, jesus, Steve-”

He’s outright laughing at you now, unable to help it- “Come on, no she didn’t. And even if she did…”

Steve is momentarily distracted, frowning down at his chest, following the monitor’s line to the machine; you watch through cracked fingers, his face lighting up, triumphant. “See, I bet if we unplug it from the wall same time as disconnecting it from here, we might be able to fit a handy under the radar, after all!”

Robin and Eddie enter the room just as you’re swatting Steve’s shoulder; over your subdued and mildly horrified laughter, he groans in faux-pain: “God, you two got here just in time. She’s beating me up for no reason.”

As Eddie settles into the plastic chair under the opposing wall’s window, you scooch down the mattress, patting the side closest to Steve with an encouraging smile at Robin.

She takes the seat, appreciative, her clammy hand slipping into yours for support as she addresses Steve: “Y’know, if you did this to get out of doing inventory this weekend, you could just say so.”

“You caught me, Robs,” Steve says, thumbing over her knuckles fondly. “Finally gonna join my conspiracy to make Keith’s life hell?”

You’re about to cut in, emphasizing that no one else should be making any hospital visits, when a metallic screech has the three of you on the bed whipping around.

Eddie’s managed to crack the barred window- judging by the sound, it hasn’t been opened since the 70s. He freezes with all the attention, then speaks around the cigarette clenched between his lips, suave again- “Pardon the interruption. Anyone else care for a smoke?”

Everyone in the room blinks at him, in various stages of disbelief; Steve starts laughing, first, which gets Robin going, and eventually you, too, until Eddie’s grinning around the cigarette, lighter halfway to his mouth as he chuckles- “Well, can’t say I didn’t offer…”

Robin makes a comment about nicotine fumes, which quickly devolves into her and Eddie fiercely bickering.

The elevated chatter of your friends fades into the background as Steve takes your hand atop the sheets, head tilted to get you in his line of sight again- love you, he mouths.

Love you, too.

[hotchfiles]

15 & 61 with best friend!spencer!!! but reader lowkey wants him 😎

help me get these two specific blorbos out of my head, the prompt list "so you're saying even if we were the last people on earth—?" "nope." + "stop imagining it!" "I'm sorry, but I can't get it out of my head!"

"and i told them it would never happen. ever." you tilt your head at your best friend and how confident he sounds telling you about how he told his coworkers that you and him would never get together. ever. he seems proud of it too, standing up for himself, you on the other hand are offended, to say the least, heartbroken.

"so you're saying even if we were the last people on earth—?" honestly you're just trying to get him to throw you a bone at least, there must be a situation where you're not forced into the position of being only his friend.

"nope. that's what i told them, now i can drink my coffee without answering questions about you every day." so much for throwing a bone.

unwillingly, your feet begin tapping the floor of your apartment, it was just a crush, you just wanted to make out with him for a little while, was that so bad? so impossible?

"sure, yeah, good... so you don't think i'm attractive? at all?"

"that's not really what i s—"

you barely listen to him, going on a ramble which was one of the reason his coworkers thought you two matched so well, "so if you were to imagine me like, i don't know, naked, you wouldn't want me either? am i that bad?" you get up from your chair, pacing around the kitchen, his eyes getting wider and wider as you spoke, trying to interject you from time to time to no avail. "i'm a good kisser, i think, is it my breath? my ass? what is it!?"

spencer gathers that you're not expecting an answer to that, or at least he hopes so when your hands go to your mouth in exasperation and you stop in front of him. "forget i said that!"

"i really can't. i mean, i literally can't. eidetic memory."

"oh my god, you're imagining it! stop imagining it!" your hands hide the warmth of your face, embarrassed not only by the extent of your rambling but the content.

"you told me to! i'm sorry, but I can't get it out of my head!" figuring this is going to be the best time if anything, as you were already embarrassed, you pull him by his cardigan, gluing your lips to his fully expecting to be rejected, but being surprised by his holding your waist to keep you balanced into the kiss. you expected it to be tender, but instead was met with hungry lips and tongue matching yours.

just enough to scratch the moment's itch.

"i don't think you'll ever drink your coffee in peace after this." you say after catching your breath.

"the one down the street from the hq tastes better anyway."

[ghostbxne]

a bit self-indulgent edward nashton headcanons bc im going insane and i have to share my though with the world

- he guessed the joker’s riddle wrong. joker didn’t mean to call himself his „friend”, he literally introduced himself as „ the joker” - the card. the less you have the more one is worth (jokers in a deck of cards) (but maybe im overthinking this lol)

- his teeth are not taken care of. the orphanage did not provide proper dental care for the children, so his teeth are crooked and he has a few cavities. he would like to get braces but still can’t afford it

tw: self harm mention in the next one

- he self harms (honestly thats canon, in the year one comic we see him as a child and his hands with very prominent bite marks). he also punches walls (implied in the batman movie when he slaps a wall in his cell in the asylum)

- he stims (in the year one comic he thinks to himself „stop chewing on your glasses, edward”) and is autistic (literally gets called „rain man” in the year one comic) but undiagnosed due to his financial situation and fear of any doctors (my personal headcanon, but also implied considering how the medical staff at the orphanage treated kids)

- cannot cook to save his life. he buys pre-made food or makes really bad watery soups so he can put them in cups and drink them while working

- usually keeps his nails a little longer. he picks at his skin a lot so it annoys him when his nails are very short

- has ocd (implied in the year one comic (intrusive thoughts) and in the movie (compulsive writing))

- has anxiety (pretty much canon)

- doesn’t really listen to music, he prefers podcasts (canonically listens to a motivational podcast in year one) and audiobooks

- usually wears a few layers of clothing. he’s usually cold and also insecure about his body. (i love his year one cardigan)

- really likes animals, especially dogs. he likes how they don’t leave their owners and are always on their side. would like to have a dog but can’t (obvious reasons)

- has very big trouble managing his emotions (canon) and gets incredibly upset when something doesn’t go his way, even the small things

tw: animal abuse mentioned in the next one

- has a fear of water and drowning (might be from that one time when the guy at the orphanage forced him to drown a rat)

- doesn’t really know how to take care of himself due to childhood neglect

- has nightmares every night. after seeing the batman in real life they stopped for a while (he’d just have no dreams at all and occasionally a very distorted fever dream, but still not a nightmare), but he still kept repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night

alright thats it for now, i might edit the post and add more later or idk😭

[acourtofswiftiesandshadowdaddies]

Teenage Love Triangle

charlie bushnell x fem!reader

summary: you and charlie star in the taylor swift trilogy short film along with sabrina carpenter. (cardigan, august, betty)

warnings: smau, fluff

a/n STOP IVE BEEN WANTING TO WRITE THIS FOR AGES BUT SCHOOL IS JS SO UGH um so reader is an orphan her parental figures are taylor and travis (she’s not adopted by them it’s js they’re like that to her)

liked by sabrinacarpenter, ynln and others taylorswift can’t wait to add this to my short films directed by me collection (it’s really not that big) view comments

user34 OMG WHOS JAMES??? ➔taylorfanpage BIGGER QUESTION: WHOS AUGUSTINE??? ➔ user09 EVEN BIGGER QUESTION: WHOS BETTY????? gracieabrams been waiting for this 🤭 ➔ ynln same 🤭 ➔ hearts4yn they know something walkerscobell AHHH FOLKLORES MY FAVOURITE ➔ walkersno1fan WALKER’S A SWIFTIE?? ➔ leahsavajeffries only bcos of me

comments

user67 CHARLIE AND YN I REPEAT CHARLIE AND YN. hearts4yn IM ABSOLUTELY GEEKING OVER YN AND CHARLIE ynandsabrinarmyqueens “james and betty this” or “james and betty that” honestly screw james, betty and augustine should get to together ➔ sabrinafan REALL hearts4yn PLS MARRY ME YN 💍 ynloml i need a romcom with charlie and yn ASAP simpforsabrina i’ve watched this 20 times in the day it’s been released js to see yn 😭

liked by iamcharliebushnell, leahsavajeffries and others ynln folklore: teenage love triangle has to be one of the best sets i’ve been on (not js cos taylor was the director), i absolutely loved working with bri and charlie. and director taylor is an absolute dream. (wish she was the director for every movie i act in) view comments

taylorswift you, charlie and sabrina were perfect for this role absolutely loved this and working with you guys ➔ ynln LOVE YOUUU leahsavajeffries someone tell me if i can inject this film into me ➔ ynln 🤭 ➔ walkerscobell it’s giving druggie aryansimhadri now i have to do the holy trinity for karaoke night 😔 (i’ve been looking for an excuse for this since forever) ➔ ynln LMAO PLS DO dior.n.goodjohn google can i inhale a short film? ➔ ynln NUMBER ONE FAN RIGHT HERE sabrinacarpenter you and charlie were made for each other this comment was deleted sabrinacarpenter IT WAS SO FUN TO FILM WITH YOU ➔ ynln YOU WERE THE STAR FRFR ➔ sabrinacarpenter 🙈 hearts4yn context for picture 1?? ➔ gracieabrams yn js found out she had to make out with charlie on screen ➔ iamcharliebushnell wow i see how it is ➔ ynln it’s not what it looks like i swear walkerscobell context for last pic??? ➔ ynln taylor was literally telling you not to run around with the cameras

singing trio gracie, bro

gracie sabrina ur not slick bri I DELETED IT yn deleted what?? bri the important thing is to not panic yn did u js quote grover from pjo bri i’ve been watching it so i can prepare for when ur silena gracie 🙄 sabrina commented how u and charlie were made for each other yn SABRINA ANNLYNN CARPENTER YOU DID WHAT bri gracie i was literally getting to it yn yk what it’s fine i mean we should probably go public, taylor knows and she approves gracie exactly you have nothing to worry about yn i have travis to worry abt 😭 bri im sure charlie could fight him

demigod fakers char 💕, diorolor, cutie leah, walkie-talkie, rolling in the deep

diorolor dude WHY IS THE INTERNET SO CLUELESS walkie-talkie HELP THATS SO RANDOM cutie leah NO COS FR LIKE WDYM THAT YOU THINK YN AND CHARLIE ARE SUCH A GOOD ON SCREEN COUPLE rolling in the deep theyre a good offscreen couple too diorolor HARD LAUNCH HIM cutie leah OR SOFT LAUNCH WE DONT RLLY CARE diorolor JS LAUNCH HIM yn i didn’t know u guys felt so strongly abt this topic😔 walkie-talkie LAUNCH HIM rolling in the deep LAUNCH HIM diorolor LAUNCH HIM cutie leah listen to the ppl yn char 💕 why are there so many notifications yn dw babe

liked by sabrinacarpenter, dior.n.goodjohn ynln the gc forced me to soft launch him view comments

sabrinacarpenter i’d like to praise leah and dior 🙏 gracieabrams FINALLY leahsavajeffries NO WAY LET YOU TIE A RIBBON AROUND HIS MUSCLES walkie-talkie i think i know who it is ➔ ynln YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME TO LAUNCH HIM 😭 killatrav who’s this ➔ ynln i can explain…

liked by taylorswift, gracieabrams and others ynln they hung out without me but watched little women??? comments are closed

liked by iamcharliebushnell, walkerscobell and others ynln meant to post that on my private 😅 whoops here’s my bf guys view comments

iamcharliebushnell i love you ➔ ynln i love you too baby walkerscobell LOLLL ➔ ynln THE SOFT LAUNCHING DID NOT LAST sabrinacarpenter ur too goofy 😭 ➔ ynln stop 😭 dior.n.goodjohn HELPP ➔ ynln STOP BULLYING ME IN MY OWN COMMENT SECTION gracieabrams the panic in ur eyes when u realised that you posted on the wrong account 😭 ➔ leahsavajeffries 😭 ➔ dior.n.goodjohn 😭 ➔ sabrinacarpenter 😭

liked by ynln, leahsavajeffries and others iamcharliebushnell love you ynn tagged: ynln comments are closed

liked by walkerscobell, leahsavajeffries and others ynln lil photo dump for the end of the year, see you guys next year 😜 comments are closed

a/n WALKER AND LEAH GOT BANNED??? also i got sleepy near the end that’s why there’s not many comments

[minkkumaz]

WHAT'S THE ANSWER FOR ME + YOU?

although woonhak was deemed the golden boy of your school, he lacked in academics. when he goes to the pretty girl (whom also has a tad bit of a crush on him) in the library for math help, how'd he know you'd be this cute?

PAIRING kim woonhak x fem!reader WC 1.1k TAGS adults dni. so much fluff it hurts. mutual pining. OMI NOTE my sweet boy omg i love writing for him. tbh i wrote this as a distraction for the other woonhak fic i started oops. not proofread sorry for mistakes hehe

november was cloudy, as if the sun was too shy to peek over the soft blankets that covered the sky. despite the dreariness, his spirit was always there. kim woonhak was the golden boy of your academy. the school’s star athlete, good at winning over hearts and games.

though he had far from perfect grades, he was good at getting away with an f every now and then. however this wasn’t the most ideal.

sometimes you sat inside of the library, taking in the smell of new books. you had no practical reason to be there, but the quiet environment was good enough for you. you weren’t used to the popularity scene like he was. and though everything in your heart was telling you to talk to him, you just couldn’t.

that specific day, you settled on the floor with your back against the hard books. notebooks, pencils, and a laptop was sprawled out everywhere, but not so much that people couldn’t walk past you. you had an immense headache from cramming in an assignment last minute. because of this, you hardly noticed the body that was towering over you, until he spoke.

“hey! your name is y/n, right?” his voice was alluring like honey dripping down your throat, and a striped cardigan draped over his messily buttoned shirt and slightly loose tie. 

but in that moment you froze. admiring him for so long wasn’t considered as practice for actually talking to him.

“hi, yes! um, am i in your way?” you hurry to scoot away but he hesitantly places a hand on your shoulder to stop you.

“no not at all!” he tells you anxiously. in his mind he was thinking you were much prettier in person.

“then what’s up?” you felt small in comparison to his large figure. 

“the counselor sent me over to you actually! she said i’d find you here.” he explained, “i need someone to tutor me.”

“you need a tutor?” you questioned with a confused expression on your face.

“yeah.. they’re going to pull me out of basketball if i don’t get my math grade up. and a little birdie told me you were one of the best.” he grinned at you happily and held his hand out for you to get up.

“oh! well i think i have some time right now. i just finished my assignment so you’re in luck.” you quickly grab your things and shove them into your bag before taking his hand.

the touch of his hand on yours made the both of you blush, swiftly pulling away after you were on your feet. you followed behind him to one of the nearest tables, setting your things down beside you before taking a seat.

“so ahm, what specifically were you needing help with?” you ask, pulling out your math notebook and flipping through the chapters.

“literally everything! like how do you even add exponents with different bases?” he whined next to you, letting his head fall onto the desk. 

“no i totally get how that can be tricky!” you laugh, “here i’ll write down an example.”

conversation throughout the rest of the study session flowed smoothly. despite it being your first proper interaction, he knew how to make you smile. 

a stupid joke here and then, sometimes a wink, or his hand grazing slightly against yours. what were you even saying?

meeting up became more frequent between the two of you. it came to the point where you met every tuesday and thursday for the remainder of the month. he wasn’t difficult to teach, but there were time’s he’d zone out in the middle of your mini lesson.

you wondered what went on in his mind, but every part of you wanted to hope you were the one he thought about.

“woon! are you even listening to me?” you frown, snapping your fingers infront of the boy.

“yes yes, i’m sorry i’m just a little sidetracked today.” he sighs, scribbling nothings onto his paper.

“we have our math exam next week and you’ve been doing so much better than when we met for the first time. you can’t be lacking on me now!” you pout at him. it was maybe your eighth time studying in the library together.

“you’re just so pretty, it’s distracting.” he says quietly, not exactly loud enough for you to hear.

“what?” you tilt your head a little.

“nothing! it’s nothing i promise.” he leans his head back, groaning, “there’s just this problem i’m really having trouble figuring out.” “what kind of problem, i’m sure we can find a solution to it.” your interest was piqued. why would he get so worked up over a math problem?

“i don’t think i’m ready to ask you yet, i want to try to figure it out on my own first.” he sighs into his hands, barely getting a glimpse of you through the cracks of his fingers.

“you want to figure it out on your own? when’d you get so independent without me?” you fake a sad expression.

“okay okay, i’ll write it down for you then. but close your eyes!” he gives in, ripping off a sticky note from the pad you took out earlier.

covering your eyes, your other senses seem to heighten. you can hear the rough writing of his pencil against the note he stole from your pile of supplies. he hesitates in between what you can only assume are numbers, before you feel him press the paper against your forehead.

“open your eyes now.” 

your vision is covered slightly from the note, so you can hardly see him fidgeting with his hands. when you peel it off to read, you’re met with a very mysterious question.

‘what’s the answer for me + you?’

“huh? what does this mean woonhak..?” you squint, re - reading the same words over and over again.

“um..” he laughs nervously, “i just don’t want us to be just friends yknow? i really really like you.”

“woon i–”

“i don’t know i just think i’d be a little heartbroken if i had to see you smile so prettily everyday and not be able to call you my.. girlfriend.” he rambled, “but you don’t have to say anything yet! don’t even worry or anything i know this is kinda sudden and we’ve only been hanging out for so long but–”

you interrupt him with a gentle kiss against his lips. he smiles against yours, placing his hands perfectly against your flush cheeks to pull you closer.

“i really like you too, woonhak.” you let your head fall heavy into his hands after finally pulling away, staring at him blissfully.

“i guess i have my answer then, right?”

© 2023 minkkumaz, all rights reserved support your writers by reblogging + giving feedback! it is greatly encouraged and appreciated. thank you! → why feedback + reblogging is so important. ~ (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ if you'd like, donate to minkkumaz !

[magnusbae]

a small silly dreamling headcanon for you, to hopefully cheer you. Hob's wardrobe taking a decided pivot gothward, but still keeping it comfortable academic. oversized cardigans pilling from wear, cotton undershirts with thumb holes worn to thin softness, etc, all black. Not for Dream outright, because he makes offended cat faces at seeing clothes his size and obviously for him, but the fact they're sized for Hob and in his current preferred style gives just enough denial, so Dream can steal them and collect secondhand the warmth and affection imbued (and also the smell of Hob's shampoo and cologne). The trade off is that there's a strong chance of tea or ink stains, because Hob has a life and that life is frequently messy.

Dream: how do you manage to get curry stains on every cuff? Hob: first of all, by eating curry, clearly. second of all, you can't see them on the black, i soaked them and everything. Dream: [UNIMPRESSED] and yet, i see them.

His students are just like, how do you seem even less tough wearing that than you did in oatmeal? Hob, survivor of countless wars and attempts to break him: talent.

[UNIMPRESSED] AND YET, I SEE THEM.

I laughed, that's good. Thank you so much for the food. (haha)

Listen, Hob saw Dream with his coat 1 (one) time (during the rescue that obviously happened) (hush) (it's just how it is). And ever since he's been consumed by the thought.

The initial plan of just getting Dream clothes did not work—and then this, this did work.

Hob, literally just staring at his lover wearing one of his, slightly too big for him, sweaters, instead of... Well... Teaching.

The entire class: uh oh.

Just imagine Dream sitting on the steps of his throne, wearing one of Hob's comfortable sweaters, black with a band name on it, sulking.

That imagine, and then a zoom out at Lucienne who is like "My... Lord....?"

Dream: Yes? :/

Now that we speak of this, imagine Hob wearing Dream's coat. I think it'll look rather dashing on him. And Dream would most likely be mildly (is he capable of moderate emotions even) smug about it.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls Season 2, Episode 15, "Lost And Found", Aka The Bracelet Has Breached Containment, Aka BraceletGate, Aka QuarterOnAStringGate, Part 6

Five minutes to go. We've finally arrived at the rotting meat of the episode. Since I won't watch Teach Me Tonight (or the episode that comes after it), this is the last episode for a good long while solely focused on Lorelai Gilmore's paranoia. Thank Gawd. I am drained.I have nothing left in me. She has sucked out my life force the way she sucks the lifeforce out of Dean Forrester. Parts 1-5 (!!) and all other episodes can be found in my pinned post.

Out of context, this looks terribly ominous.

Sweaterpaws.

Jess was seriously going to just go home and not even bother to ask for any money (well, he did say "I'll be back to collect it later, I know where you live", like the old timey Italian mobster he is). But he could have used that $5 (I do wish I could tell how much she's holding). Even though Jess must wait on Lorelai's table at his place of employment at least once a day every single day, I wager this is the first time Lorelai has ever paid him or tipped him squat. The boy was too stunned to speak. Better make sure its not Monopoly money or something.

I love how cautiously he takes it. He's such a smart boy, he knows this is a trap.

Time for my favorite #SadBaby joke, one I made up myself many years ago: Why does Jess Mariano love Santa Claus so much? Because unlike his father, at least Santa Claus visits once a year.

You dropped this, my king.👑 The fact that he's so utterly unbothered by Lorelai, making this a completely one-sided argument by an adult with a minor child will always be hilarious to me. Lorelai: Why would you do this? Oh, the DRAMATICS! I would never be dramatic.

WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER!!! How you like them apples?

"Don't whatever me, you ittle jerk! You let Rory run around PANICKED! Thinking she lost her boyfriend's bracelet! She was MISERABLE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?"

You ever wonder if Dean Forrester is perched on a rooftop somewhere with a sniper rifle and if Lorelai doesn't say "Dean is great" "Dean is tall and pretty" "Dean is the best lover I've ever had" out loud at least twice a day, it's lights out for her? It's either that or he's blackmailing her and is going to spill their illicit relationship if she doesn't kiss his ass on the regular, or maybe he used some advanced brainwashing techniques on her (this one is highly unlikely, he's barely literate) there are no other possible explanations for this behavior.

Way to go Lorelai, that's four rapid fire lies, exagerrations and falsehoods in the span of mere seconds. I'm impressed. I think Jess has to be dying of laughter on the inside right now listening to this crazy bitch's lunatic rantings. Actualy, in the second picture, from that angle it almost looks like Milo is smiling lol

Baby, you're so smart. I know you didn't finish high school, but you should still win some kind of award for smartness. #AdmireTheBaby

Lorelai can't call Dean "son", it would clash with his other title, "Rory's Future Stepfather."

Lorelai's face after Jess pointed out Rory didn't miss the bracelet for two weeks. SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT. Come on, just admit this kid is right and we can move on with our lives!

Lorelai goes back to the living room to contemplate how Jess Mariano is right about everything all the time.

Okay, since we know Luke isn't getting a new apartment, I'm intrigued. Ahhh, a second Nuclear Luke rant in one episode! It almost makes up for the rotting meat of the previous scene. "Taylor is systematically buying up the whole town! He's gonna turn it into Taylorville! Everyone will wear cardigans and have the same grass height! He's gonna buy the building next to the diner and turn it into a plate shop for freaks without enough brainpower to buy stamps! I walked around in a blind rage. I was crazy. I bought one of those Belgian waffles with the ice cream dipped in chocolate. But I didn't eat it, I'm upset, not suicidal." LMAAAAAO. Oh Luke Danes, I love you so fucking much. "I had your voice going around and around in my head, I heard you saying, "take a chance Luke, make a move! Can't have a single bed! So I bought the building!" Told you Lorelai's nagging wields tremendous power, leading men to emotional and financial ruin.

For a few brief moments, Lorelai is the voice of reason and rationality. She suggests he could back out of the purchase, or barring that, expand the diner or rent the building to someone Taylor really hates, which is an idea I could get behind. Luke has 100k to spend on real estate, huh. I've said this before, I envision an au where Luke signs the paperwork to just get Jess his own seperate apartment. Even he had to wait until his 18th birthday. Jess could contribute to some of the rent and bills and Luke could pick up the rest. Everyone would be happy. I just want Jess to thrive and be happy. I'm going to imagine him thriving and happy.

A moment later, Lorelai is back to her old self. Holy hell, woman. The fuck is wrong with you? Poor Rory! Can Luke front some of that 100k to pay for Rory's future therapy bills, that she'll surely need after the damage you've caused?

I honestly have no idea what the fuck she's talking about. When have they been "thrown together"? When you think about it, Rory and Jess so far have had minimal interaction aside from some brief conversations, the majority of which Lorelai isn’t even aware of, and we're 10 episodes in after Jess' arrival. Do you mean the Bracebridge Dinner? The thing you set up and invited him to? Literally, Lorelai doesn't even know that Rory and Jess interacted in her backyard this afternoon. Or do you mean the picnic basket auction? Where Jess committed the unspeakable crime of having lunch with Rory?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Luke thinks Rory and Jess would make a good pair. Lorelai is so in awe of the power of Jess Mariano that she fears coupling him with her daughter might rip a hole in the very fabric of space and time.

Luke is my favorite Literati shipper.

"If Rory dates Jess, my shnooky-ukkums Dean will stop coming over to my house. Jess Mariano must die."

At least the last minute of the episode brings us one of the most splendid endings in Gilly Girls history.

Promotional poster for my horror movie called The Hollow: Luke Danes' Revenge. He's got a sledgehammer, a troubled nephew, and a thirst for Taylor Doose's blood.

I LOVE how hard Milo flinched when the hammer went through the wall. THIS EPISODE IS OVER. I SURVIVED THE ENTIRE THING. Where's my cookie?!

[dipplinduo]

I'm so sorry this isn't pokemon related at all but I gotta know which t swift albums are your faves lmao 👀 (I'm forever stuck in the folklore/evermore days 🤎)

Okay. I am pretty rigid on keeping the blog pokemon-related, but you, dear anon, have asked me about something that I love more than anything else.

So I'm gonna just go wild with this and give you more than you asked for because frankly I am one of the biggest swifities on this Earth and honestly squeal any time I get the opportunity to talk about Taylor's music because of how much of a massive impact it has had on me. I get nervous with each drop but, without fail? Each and every album, in order, tends to follow themes in my life and somehow encapsulates a lot of what I'm going through in some way. I love each of these albums in their own way, and it's a bit hard to give them rankings. Less favorites are still very much favorites though!

1 - reputation

Holy trinity: I Did Something Bad; Don't Blame Me; New Year's Day Honorable mentions: literally every other song

This album was a torniquet for me, and even when I'm not fully relating to it emotionally as much it may just be permanently cemented in my heart and soul as the top dog because of how monumental it was to me. It dropped at a time in my life when I was reallllyyy going through it, and a lot of the overarching narrative of "I will survive this tooth and nail for better days, even if my dignity is lost" resonated hard. I think the presentation and marketing of this album was utterly genius (reclaiming the narratives, sound production/lyrical risks and imagery that were executed JUST right, the MERCH REFERENCES, the "bombastic, external persona" that transitions to "this is the real me behind closed doors; I found and cherish what's truly important and that's all that really matters", etc.) was just perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. IDSM AMA 2018 performance is also the best live performance ever, forever obsessed. Overall, this album is the one I turn to whenever life is hard and I want to fan the flames of resilience.

2 - evermore

Holy trinity: coney island; tolerate It; 'tis the damn

Honorable mentions: champagne problems; gold rush; long story short; Willow

God, I love evermore. Didn't even realize how much I did until the past year or so. I have a lot of deep cuts on this album, and like folklore, it was just SO awesome to have albums where the general public could see more of Taylor's quill pen songwriting on full display (although glitter gel pen songs are EQUALLY cool). I love the maturity behind this album and it actually taught me how to fall in love with the colder seasons and weather. Coney Island specifically lowers my blood pressure like no other song has ever done and I can't even tell you fully why; it's so surreal and serene to listen to on planes. And tolerate it? CHRIST. When I revisited it as I went through some of it in real time, OOOF. DIFFERENT LEVEL OF RESPECT. It is def in my top 5 songs. 3 - folklore

Holy trinity: caridgan; the 1; hoax

Honorable mentions: my tears richochet; mad woman; the lakes; peace; invisible string; august

CARDIGAN. CARDIGAN. Rep is my favorite album, but cardigan is my favorite song ohmygooood. Never have I ever felt something epitomize my life experiences and personhood - it quite literally feels like an encapsulation of my soul. I feel very spoiled that it got to be a single and mv - just absolutely stunning. Personally, I connect this song to a return to lost childhood innocence. And I am proud to say I own one of the original original cardigans and the only way you can separate it from me is by prying it from my cold, dead hands. BUT YES, FOLKLORE IS ELITE. The storytelling on this album is next level and the surprise drop of such intricate thought during the height of the pandemic was very needed. Hoax is an oddly specific lullaby for me because it was a specific comfort to me at one night. The 1 is just ooOOOOF also.

4 - Lover

Holy trinity: All Of The Girls You Loved Before; Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince; Cornelia Street

Honorable Mentions: False God; Cruel Summer; I Think He Knows; Daylight

I honestly don't give this album enough credit because I resonate a lot with its visuals and messages. It is def a bit more slapped together than others, but I do like the symbolism in that. Lover is about all forms of love (romantic, familial, platonic, self-based) and I often times get told by irl peeps that this alongside the folkmore albums are the kinds of energies I tend to emit lol. Daylight in particular has one of the most fire TS quotes at her adlib at the end with the whole "You are what you love" thing, and GOD. Any time I think of it or hear it I re-evaluate a lot to make sure I can live by it. Fun fact: revisiting the song is how I ended 2023, and it was the trigger that made me decide to write fanfiction & start this blog, because it's important to follow all sorts of things that make you happy! <3

5 - 1989 (TV)

Holy trinity: New Romantics; Say Don't Go; I Know Places

Honorable Mentions: Bad Blood (both versions; fight me); YOU ARE IN LOVE UGH; Is It Over Now?; Style; Clean

This album is pop perfection and I think every Swiftie can agree on that universally even if you're not a big fan of 1989. But ooohhh my gosh, this album set me free when it came out. There are so many positive messages about expressing yourself, leaning into the messes of life, and also, just letting yourself loosen up a bit. I was in a bit of an angsty emo phase when the og came out (lol) and Taylor's bubbliness challenged me in a great way and helped me get a bit of my sunshine back. It was my second most anticipated TV re-release, and the vault tracks DID not disappoint. Now that I'm more in the range of what Taylor was reflecting on at the time, too? OOF. DO I FEEL MORE CONNECTED THAN BEFORE.

6 - Fearless (TV)

Holy trinity: Mr. Perfectly Fine; The Way I Loved You; Forever & Always (Piano Version) Honorable Mentions: Change; You're Not Sorry; White Horse; Fifteen; The Best Day; You Belong With Me

Gosh. Fearless. FEARLESS. This album just stands out to me as such an homage to my childhood in a lot of different ways - but more so of the braver side of me in it. I absolutely love the imagery and dramatics of this album and feel like its just a bucket of sunshine and golden stars and warmth. It takes me back to simpler days, and I love love love how Mr. Perfectly Fine leans straight into some of the bangers I really loved on the og. This is more of a sunshiny fire album to me.

7- Midnights

Holy trinity: You're Losing Me; Dear Reader; Bejeweled (new! lmao)

Honorable Mentions: You're On Your Own, Kid; Would've Could've Should've; Lavender Haze; Anti-Hero; Midnight Rain; Mastermind; Snow On The Beach (feat. More Lana Del Ray)

This album is very dreary in a lot of ways, and jeez, I needed it when it first came out. Happy to say I went from more of a "Dear Reader" vibe to a "Bejeweled" vibe from release to now. I love the concept behind it so much and it's interesting to be able to relate to the "coming out of the dread" side thats sprinkled in here and there. It speaks to the more "stormy" parts of me that I tend to hide from others, and I really relate to TS's portrayal of it given her own general outward disposition.

8 - Red (TV)

Holy trinity: All Too Well 10 Minute Version; I Knew You Were Trouble; Begin Again

Honorable Mentions: Better Man; Girl At Home (fight me); Nothing New; Sad Beautiful Tragic; Treacherous

Okaayyy, THIS is the fall album. And we're getting to the point where these beautiful albums LOOK like they're ranked low, but the favoritism is still very much high regardless. God, ATWTMV took ATW and added a whole MAGNITUTE of maturity and retrospect that really speaks to a personal experience that I've had. I am beyond grateful that we finally got it and younger me would be screaming in disbelief!! LOL. But yeah, this album is what I turn to for heartbreak at times (more so of messy, fast and quick kind of feelings), and Begin Again is very relegable as a spiritual palette cleanser. The red scarf is one of my other favorite merch items I own.

9 - Speak Now (TV)

Holy trinity: Castles Crumbling; Mean; Haunted

Honorable mentions: Foolish One; Back to December; Enchanted; Better Than Revenge (lol og lowkey); Ours (MH ruined this one for me temporarily); I Can See You

This album is another childhood reminder type of album because of how whimsical and fairytale-esque it is, but I'll admit that Fearless (TV) is a little closer to my heart. Castles Crumbling though???? OH. MY. GOD. That had my jaw to the ground and is def in the top 10. What a tragedy to add to SPEAK NOW of all albums, and what nightmarish foresight Taylor must've had to compose it way back when. Haunted also speaks to my soul but more in a familial kind of way, and Mean? Mean is the spiteful little child in me LOL.

10 - Taylor Swift

Holy Trinity: Should've Said No; Tied Together With a Smile; Cold As You

Honorable Mentions: The Outside; A Place in This World; Picture To Burn

I'm ngl! This album I'm probably much more disconnected with compared to others despite me being a big Swiftie. Most of this is because I wasn't fully a fan when this came out, and country music isn't really my kind of jam. I'm very curious about how the TV is going to be handled and I think it's going to grow on me a bit more. Nonetheless, the holy trinity is elite and Should've Said No/Bad Blood mashup during the rep tour changed me as a person. One day I shall yee the haw here.

This was a lot of fun to share (and I know you didn't fully ask for this but HERE YA GO LOL), TS is my kryptonite and my everything and I hope you enjoyed. :) <3

[winterrhayle]

offering my taylor top five

cardigan - basic but soooooooo nostalgic and the bridge gets me every time… i wrote out some of the lyrics in black pen on my bed frame and it won’t go away 👹

right where you left me - best evermore track rip gold rush

seven - AND IVE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU I THINK YOUR HOUSE IS HAUNTED YOUR DAD IS ALWAYS MAD AND THAT MUST BE WHY

you’re losing me - the way i was so shaken when i heard this song on youtube for the first time

champagne problems - i can play this on the piano 😃

also when my family was out for mother’s day dinner a cover of better man started playing in the restaurant so the vibes were super great and happy and fun

valid cardigan is the most popular from folklore for a reason, she rly is that girl !!!! the way, from like 2:46 onwards the pen game is actually crazy she just keeps going it's so well written

ok me personally i'm not a rwylm stan, but valid. i will take personal offense to this though because gold rush is my favourite on evermore and i believe my most played song of all time

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ‼️‼️‼️ I LOVE SEVEN ALL MY HOMIES LOVE SEVEN

oh my god yeah that bridge is crazy😭 i remember listening to clips on it on tumblr when it had literally JUST been sold on cd at that eras show and people were uploading really bad quality recordings of it that weren't in full 😭

classic ! not one of my top songs personally but speak ur truth !!!!!!! and i need to learn this on piano too actually

also by cover of better man do u mean the little big town version bc taylor gave them that song originally😭 in like 2016 or 2017

[g0ttal0ve101]

🎶💯💤🎄😖🎮 for any of ur little shits :3

they are little shits………my little shits 🫶

TW: obsessive behavior, a lil suggestive, and implications of trauma.

🎶 - what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

Sam: weezer/the front bottoms….like. mentally ill homosexuality shit. yes he listens to this shit 24/7….(he j like me fr.)

Evelyn: Beethoven? i mean what else do British people listen to? IM PLAYING-uhh probably shit like the cardigans/cults. and yes, she listens to music when cleaning :)

Thomas: Nirvana/Radiohead. yeah. it’s sickening. no, he doesn’t listen to music often unless it’s on in a party……

Lucian: he listens to literally anything. he doesn’t care. i mean like he doesnt really wanna listen to WAP or something but-yeah no he listens to whatever’s on the radio (he’s fucking weird.) and he doesn’t go out of his way to listen to music.

💯 - share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Sam:

1. ALWAYS wants to be riley’s type. so whenever she was dating jordan, HE WOULD DRESS LIKE JORDAN. if he saw riley spare a glance over at some girl, HE WOULD DRESS LIKE THAT GIRL THE VERY NEXT DAY. in other words he has no sense of style himself.

2. he didn’t ALWAYS have his stutter. it developed by the time he was six. also it’s genetic, not any sort of brain trauma or anything - his dad had a stutter when he was young too, but went to speech therapy and eventually fixed it.

3. speaking of which HE DOES HAVE A DAD YALL!!! HE’S ALWAYS OVERSEAS FOR WORK!! VEGA DADDY FOR THE WIN!! and no he’s not abusive or anything either lmao he’s just a busy man.

Evelyn:

1. yes she lived in the UK up until she was fourteen. she’s sixteen now. so she’s only been in the USA for about two years and she regrets coming.

2. she lives with her uncle alfie after the passing of her parents. he’s very distant and barely associates himself with her, but makes sure she’s well taken care of before she turns eighteen and gains all the money her parents left behind. so yeah he’s aight ig

3. she’s very good at horseback riding. (she took lessons from the time she was a kid.) however, she never puts any of that talent to use considering she HATES TOUCHING ANIMALS so yeah that ended quick.

Thomas:

1. had a prosthetic arm (left side) since the time he was nine. how did he lose the first arm? that’s a good question you should ask him!! sometimes it’s because of self harm and losing all circulation after trying to commit, other times it’s because he was kidnapped and the joker himself sawed it off. (he will never tell anyone)

2. he has his own band and plays at parties sometimes. the cooler thing is that david nixon is the drum player even though he despises thomas <3 but a deal’s a deal right? also it works out in the end for both of them bc thomas gets all the chics after singing and david gets all the dudes after playing.

3. a bit of common knowledge but - he has three siblings. an older brother, a younger sister, and a little brother. he hates them all equally. however, they aren’t actually full siblings. they’re all half. Adrian (their father) had babies with FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN!! role model, am i right? also thomas hates every member of his family lmao.

Lucian:

1. LUCIAN WILLIAMS HAS A TYPE!!! fluffy hair, freckles, a grunge/gothic style, and FUCKED UP TEETH!!!!! GAAAAH!!! both his exes had fucked up teeth (aka sophia had braces and david was missing a lot of his), and now his current boyfriend does. (bitch is a shark.) like shit. he loves those fucked up teeth. <3

2. he has tons of scars. like. tons. and you might be thinking TRAUMA!!!!! bc yes. trauma. however, a lot of them are from him being a dumbass as a kid. he would climb the top of a tree and fall off it. he would swing on his neighbor’s tire swing and fall into a pile of hoarded trash with glass in it. he would try to pull a root out of the concrete stairs and slice his shins after he fell. he is clumsy.

3. it’s time fess up….he’s not a total skinny legend no mo. he works out and is actually PRETTY BUILT. he ain’t got no six pack or nothing but he has nice ass triceps tbh……..and that’s on having an axe as a go-to weapon <3

💤 - is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?

Sam: pretty light sleeper. he’ll wake up whenever he hears footsteps, or when his curtains blow in the wind, or when the fridge turns on. he usually peeks under his eyelashes and then just goes back to sleep.

Evelyn: light sleeper. any little noise makes her sit up and check her surroundings, even if it’s just her furnace turning on. she’s still half asleep when this happens though, so she goes back to sleep pretty easily too.

Thomas: DEEP FUCKING SLEEPER LMAO. you think he cares if there’s a nuclear war outside his window? bro as long as it don’t make one side of his pillow hot…

Lucian: deep sleeper when it comes to noise, light sleeper when it comes to any movement in the room. if anyone touches him, he’s up. if anyone applies pressure to the mattress, he’s up. if any footsteps are in the room, he’s up. you get the point. he will jerk awake if he feels someone else is there with him. (trauma) it’s not so easy for him to lay back down either. depending on what happened, he usually stays up for the rest of night. (this improves if kai’s sleeping with him bc he feels safe.)

🎄 - what’s your oc’s favorite holiday?

Sam: HALLOWEEN! 🎃

Evelyn: EASTER! 🐣

Thomas: HALLOWEEN! 👻

Lucian: CHRISTMAS! 🎄

😖 - is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

Sam: not even a question lmao. INTROVERT. and he does NOT let people in easily. only if it’s a pretty young woman named riley morg-

Evelyn: honestly i’d say she’s an ambivert solely because she doesn’t care about being out in public. (she cares about the GERMS.) she doesn’t avoid talking to anyone but she doesn’t go out of her WAY to do it either.

Thomas: EXTROVERT? HELLO? HE’S THE LIFE OF THE PARTY. Thomas knows everyone and their mamas atp. he’s so extroverted that he would commit a crime in the middle of the street and no one would give a fuck because he’s Thomas Hall. and if someone has a problem with him, they’ll just be gone in like 2.0 seconds lmao.

Lucian: this might be a shocker but…introvert. yes lucian is definitely an introvert. he avoids crowds, he doesn’t like talking in front of people, and he definitely doesn’t like people acknowledging him. when he doesn’t know someone, he’s not all bubbles and flowers like he is usually - he’s on high alert. Lucian only shows his true colors around his friends!!

🎮 - what are your oc’s favorite hobbies?

Sam: Reading, mostly. His favorite genre is romance and horror so he can take notes lmao……….

Evelyn: idk what British people do to pass the time…..JK!!! Evelyn loves crocheting and sewing, and designs clothes for her gf a lot <3

Thomas: this man is so talented and yet his favorite hobby is having sex 💀-no but seriously. he can play piano, guitar, and drums. he can sing. he can draw photo realism. he can skateboard. etc. etc. etc. and yet he spends all his free time partying………

Lucian: everyone knows he loves gardening, but he also likes skating and coloring too. :33

[venturismcdonald]

Alright you, I am totally willing to chat with you about Derek Venturi's vibe being "folklore" by Taylor Swift. I'm gonna end up listening to that album again this weekend while thinking about him, my favourite blorbo, and internally screaming while I work retail; and I both blame AND thank thee.

Okay, yes, because here's the thing: folklore is an album full of contradictions and really fucking confusing plotlines and self doubt while simultaneously believing in oneself above all else and that is Derek Venturi to a t. (He's also Midnights but that's a conversation for another day.) Please add your thoughts to this somewhat comprehensible thing I wrote about this!

Literally ever since the thought came to me all I have been able to think is Derek being every song and I have ✨thoughts✨ on it.

the 1: alright, look, Derek is aware that people *think* he's cool. But the thing is, he's had two serious relationships in his entire life. Sally was cool, he thinks he loved her, in the fearless way someone loves when they're sixteen and might have had feelings for their stepsister at the same time. Being with Sally was cool, but he knew it never would've worked out long term because... *vaguely hand gestures to his brain, which must be at least 20% Casey.* It's not that Derek regrets being with and loving Sally, he's just aware it wasn't forever and was never meant to be. He always felt like he had to be better around her, to be a version of himself that didn't prank Casey and start wars with the football team (even though, hello, they're football players, Sally, they totally deserve it! Max is annoying and an ass and not a good partner to Casey and football is a terrible sport that only narcissistic egomaniacs who should be spouting the Star Spangled fucking Banner play), a version of himself that was soft and kind and just not Derek. He can be those things, but not all the time. His love language is fond insults.

cardigan: this one is how he feels a lot of the time. As a society, we've acknowledged this is a song about being used when someone needs something but not actually being what they need or want. That's how Derek feels. He's a god amongst men, alright, and that comes with people wanting him for something or another constantly. Do they care about him? Not really, but don't they do a damn good job of pretending? It's almost convincing. Just like the song.

the last great american dynasty: is he a woman named Rebekah living in Rhode Island after the death of her first husband? No, not to his knowledge. Does he fit the vibe of someone who decides that fuck it, he's going to spend the rest of his life doing a bunch of random hijinks with his friends and Casey and their pack of kids? Of course. That's literally Derek. He has dyed a dog key lime green (Casey didn't find it nearly as amusing as Derek and Molly did, because she is lame and needs to expand her horizons), he has decided to pace rocks just to look insane and aesthetic and he's certainly made questionable gambling decisions (hence Sky's conception. Use a condom, kids.)

exile: do you know how long this man spent pining after Casey?? If we take LWL into effect, it's twenty four years! And in those 24 years, Casey was never single longer than nine or ten months (because she's Casey and loves long term relationships and all the bullshit that comes with them because she's never done anything casually. Except the one time they fucked and he ran away to Paris and they never spoke of it again), which meant Derek had to watch her fall in love, over and over again, with different terrible men! Really, what was she thinking? A football captain, a douchebag who rated her (and only thought she was a six and a half, as if Derek would ever obsess over a six and a half! It's insulting), a guy who didn't have a personality and a neglectful husband have been her choices. He has to watch, from the sidelines, because she doesn't let him in after everything happened, after the fight and the sex and the avoidance. All he is to her is a stepbrother she once hooked up with. Nothing more. Meanwhile, his heart cracks every time he sees her and Peter on Facebook.

my tears ricochet: specifically the first verse is giving Derek vibes to me. He knows he can bring out every side of people effortlessly, he can read them like a book because Derek is so smart, it's just people smart! It's why he knows that he has to try and be the greatest (not that it takes much effort, but it's difficult some days) to get any attention, to get love from his parents and his family and everyone around him. Because everyone loves him conditionally and Derek is barely holding himself together. Scotch tape doesn't fix everything. But c'mon, Marti, Simon and Sky are the only people who have loved him without conditions, without terms of service. What else is he supposed to believe? That he's suddenly lovable and perfect and doesn't need to put in any effort ever because he's not a fuck up? That would erase literal decades of George, Abby and Nora's parenting.

seven: being a kid is fucking great, man. Even a kid whose parents don't like him, who make him feel like a fuck up because he had to repeat the first grade (look, alright, it's hard to focus and his brain won't because Derek is broken and he's aware. Moving on), a kid who tries so hard and never gets acknowledgement. And then his parents have Edwin! Just because! Edwin is planned, he's wanted, he's everything Derek isn't. But when Derek is seven, George and Nora start fighting more. He takes Ed (who's two) and they hide out in the backyard, in a shitty treehouse that'll probably result in a broken bone one day, playing pirates until Edwin falls asleep or the yelling stops, whichever comes first. Because being seven is also impossible. It's great in hindsight, but at the time? God, it sucks. He romanticizes it until he remembers having to scream so loud the neighbors thought something was wrong so George and Abby would stop fighting, remembers the time he broke his arm on the slide because they wouldn't get outside and play so he went first and they didn't even notice until three days later because they were in such an intense fight. Being seven was the best and worst of times and sometimes, Derek thinks it was his peak. In a weird competition, his parents would always try to shower him with love right after a fight. It didn't add up, but whatever, who is he to judge?

august: Derek is August. I need this to be known; he's the one waiting on a call, who desperately wants to get it and knows he won't. Casey won't call, she'll never call, because they fucked everything up, hooking up. He saw it clear as day on her face the morning after, it's why he went to fucking Paris. And honestly, he's never really a first choice, is he? He's always the backup guy, the guy who you drag out for looks but don't actually love. You'll pretend to, and you'll do a good job, but no one actually does and that's okay.

this is me trying: he tries, alright? It may not seem like it, with Derek being a solid D+ student, but he tries. So hard. It's not his fault that his fucking brain won't cooperate and he can't learn the useless stuff. Give him a hockey stick, he'll be so good you'll forget all about your problems, but don't make him do school. He hates it. The only topics he can learn about are the ones he's obsessed with (mythology, film, music, the history of video games that one summer, the bodice rippers Casey keeps under her pillow, Casey as a whole entity (this is entirely against his will. Believe him, his life would be so much easier if he didn't know so much about Casey and feel so much about her he cannot breathe and he can't talk about it so it just sits there, being a crushing weight on him because she is inconvenient! And annoying and the absolute worst!), hockey, all of Marti and Simon's interests, etc) and five paragraph essays do not fit that. But then there's the fact he practically is a parent to Marti, doing all the emotional and physical labor of one most of the time. He tries so hard to not fuck her up because he loves her so much. Ed's cool and he loves him, but Smarti's different, okay? When Derek met Edwin, he sort of just shrugged, loved the kid and failed to get him into anything cool. When he met Marti, Abby told him he'd be taking on responsibility and Derek took that seriously. He's uncharacteristically responsible with her. Marti is the fucking best. Derek tries so hard to not be obsessed with Casey, even though it feels like she's in his fucking bloodstream, she's running through him, she's a goddamn part of him and sometimes he wants to crawl inside of her skin and live there, because he knows she can't feel the same. Casey doesn't love him. Casey doesn't even like him! So he pranks her and grins and throws a fit when she dates Sam (which, seriously Sam? What a fucking betrayal, dude. The male code! It's a real thing and definitely not something he just pulled out of his ass so you wouldn't date his annoying and hot stepsister) and eventually tries to be a decent person because, for some reason, she doesn't give up on him. It's sickening.

illicit affairs: before Casey finalized her divorce with Peter, there was (shh, it's a secret, don't tell the family) an affair happening in her house. Take two guesses as to who it was. Derek and Casey? Brilliant. Yeah, it's an affair, and it makes Derek feel dirty, like all he's good for is being a secret boy toy, but he loves her so much that he'll take whatever she's giving, even if it's just bare scraps. Derek will break himself in half to help her, to make Casey feel better, and if being her mistress is how he does it, then it'll be fine. He won't panic about their future once her divorce is finalized at all.

invisible string: there is only one explanation for why Derek's felt so drawn to Casey since he first met her. She had a schoolgirl uniform on. Is it his kink? No, not particularly, but she's a hot girl in a schoolgirl uniform. He's not blind! But also, he met her and something in his brain lit up, some part he'd never known was there before, some part that made him want to be around her all of the time for some inexplicable reason. She's infected him like a cancer. It's evil. He loves it. There's something dragging them together constantly, and at his age of 38 (please don't mention it, he's coping poorly), he can admit it might be fate or the universe or whatever. Derek loves Casey and she loves him back. Has for decades, apparently. They should've pulled their heads out of their asses so much sooner, because they're in love and it's great and they go do all the cute coupley shit Derek used to swear he'd never do but in his defense: it's Casey and she lights up doing that bullshit and Derek is a total marshmallow when it comes to her. She even gets to steal his food! And watch her terrible reality shows during hockey games! This whole love thing has turned him into a disgusting sap of a person. Shoot him, please. He begs.

mad woman: Derek's spent enough time around women (Casey especially) to understand they are complex creatures. He'll never fully understand them, but he can try to. They get mad at... A lot, honestly, being a woman must be exhausting (Casey and Marti are constantly feeling things so deeply it's painful) and sometimes it's each other? He's not quite sure, but he knows they're mad. And when they are, do not mess with them. Even Casey, who is stupid hot when mad. The world is against women, apparently, so they get mad at that and the fact they have to pay for tampons (Derek ends up buying them, do not make it a thing) and having it be inferred they're just fucking insane. Which, to be fair, they are! Casey especially! But yeah, it's gotta be annoying, so he's trying to empathize and be feminist and other bullshit that Skyler has bullied him into.

epiphany: so here's the problem: Derek is aware he's had a pretty decent life, all things considered. No massive traumas, nothing a therapist should see him for. Still, he can't help but feel sometimes like there's a war being waged between his brain and the Canadian education system. It's fucking insane! School just doesn't work and Derek is broken because he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand, everything feels violent and he can't cope. Hence hockey, where he can hit things and people with sticks! Hockey is great! It's bloody and gorey and everything else Casey hates.

betty: oh boy. This one's a doozy. But it's not Derek's fault, he will maintain, that he accidentally pissed Casey off so much she won't talk to him. He made one joke about her divorce (which wasn't even that bad! The kids laughed! Simon laughed! Casey is the only one who didn't) and now she's stormed off and won't talk to him so obviously Derek needs to apologize. He hates apologies; they're lame and suck all the fun out of everything and they are the worst! But he does, and god, does he hope that it'll be enough for him to apologize by playing her a song he wrote and talking about his (ugh) feelings for her to kiss him in front of the kids and their parents and admit this is what she wants. Because this thing between them has always been on her terms, he's just along for the ride, but he'd really like to be with her forever.

peace: one of the few cons of being as amazing as Derek is that he doesn't get any privacy half the time. Neither do his romantic partners, as a result. He's aware of this and it's part of why he doesn't date anymore; it's too hard to find someone willing to deal with all of it. Once he and Casey officially get together, one of Derek's biggest fears is that she's going to realize he's not worth it. Because she'll never have a quiet, peaceful life that Casey deserves, not being with him. Everything will be an article and it's going to suck and Derek loves her. Will she be okay without getting that peace? He'd get it if she wasn't; it's okay, he won't hold it against her. She'll never get to live a normal life with him. When she tells him she'd rather insane with anyone else than normal with him, he may or may not shed a tear or two. Because he's not worth that, he isn't even close to worth the chaos that'll come with it, but Casey thinks he is for some reason, so Derek will keep trying to prove to her that he is. Every day for the rest of his goddamn life.

hoax: when love feels conditional and faithless, it's essentially a massive hoax. Derek doesn't believe in a love that'll exist with unwavering loyalty and faith and trust. It's not for him. Maybe for other people, but he doesn't get that. Everyone's love for him is a fake, a pretend, and Derek is great at pretending he doesn't know it. Love is bullshit, the kind they talk about in the movies. That doesn't exist for people like Derek. It exists for Marti and Casey and Edwin and Lizzie and Nora and George and hell, Abby and Dennis, but not for Derek. He's not wired to receive it. And he'll believe they all love him endlessly to go to sleep at night, waking up knowing it's a lie.

the lakes: sometimes, a man wants peace and quiet. He wants to go to an abandoned lake, write songs with his girlfriend, let the kids play and do whatever the fuck Luca and Sky do (he thinks Luca has a boyfriend?? It's confusing. He FaceTimes him a lot) and avoid people forever. And then Derek remembers how much he hates camping because urban hell scapes are his favorite thing, shrugs, and proceeds to overromanticize small New England towns until he goes to one. Let him have his fun, he's an artist. This is his muse.

[the1975attheirverybest]

"Personally, I'm saddest over the fact that the whole drama has kind of turned me off of Taylor entirely. I'm sure it's a temporary thing and will wear off with time. i just now associate her with some pretty hurtful dms and stuff lmao."

Omg, I thought I was the only one. Maybe I'm tired of the drama of May and the sequels it came with it, so I refuged (is this a word) in the band haha. How many times do we have to repeat that Matty literally said on stage he wants to keep things in private cuz he can't figure it out in public anymore. Also, her publicist said M&T are no longer talking and Taylor is fine on her own, even her closest friends said the whole squad is single. I'm sick of maylors and their lack of brains, they're soooo creepy but if you call the out on their bullshit they'll cry because they're being "harassed".

You're definitely not the only one! i get this weird negative energy around her music now that is just unpleasant from all that's been done "on her behalf" (totally aware she didn't tell them to do it)

also, I tried, a few times, after the whole drama to listen to Midnights but I just kept having flashbacks to how Matty and Taylor worked together on the song that never made it to the album or whatever, and all that shit that swifties dug up and attacked. then Maylors saying "question...?" and "Labyrinth" are about him and all that. Folklore is usually an album I stream every summer but this time i can't cuz apparently they think Cardigan is about him and thats all the pops into my head lmao.

[kiruamon]

Part 16

Everything could have been so perfect. Oz was peacefully asleep and until just now Damien had had no reason to worry about anything. Until a certain someone had sat down with them without asking. "Keep your hands to yourself," Damien warned Oz's roommate with an annoyed look. He had to be careful not to raise his spikes in order not to hurt Oz accidentally. Although it was quite a difficult task to him when feeling so outraged. Brian just gave him a puzzled look at his warning. As usual, the other didn't understand him one bit! It was super frustrating and Damien grumbled sullenly about it while pressing himself even closer against his favourite classmate in the yellow cardigan. "You can't have him! He's mine! Got it?"

_

Laughter reached his ears. And the voices of two monsters.

"B-Brian! Sto-hah-stop ahahahi-it pleeeease!" the smaller of the two monsters brought out under stifled laughter, while his friend, with a sly grin on his face, held him in place without much effort, playfully poking his fingers into Oz's sides again and again. "Nope." "Not before you tell me who swiped my snacks. I know you're covering one of them." "… Or maybe both." For a moment Brian let Oz catch his breath again, and though the latter had no mouth at all, he seemed to need the respite badly. "I… haaah I really d-don't know wha-what you're… talking about... " Oz didn't sound particularly convincing. But perhaps that was because he was still trying to catch his breath. On the other hand Oz was a pretty bad liar.

Damien stared up at the two from the carpet. The mere sight of the two monsters in front of him kept making his tail flop angrily to the floor. It also didn't help that he had been ignored for quite some time. His tiny claws buried themselves in the carpet beneath his paws as each of his razor-sharp spines stood up in barely suppressed rage. It boiled inside him. And Damien clenched his teeth, gritting them together slightly. That fucking bastard was doing it again! He touched Oz like he owned him or some shit! And had even pulled the little nerd onto his fucking lap! Even though Damien had already warned the zombie guy so many times! He would drag him to the deepest levels of hell. And hang him there to- The chuckling and snickering began anew.

"I'm so going to murder him!"

Spoiler: He didn't. ;)

_

"We need to talk." That was a fact. Damien still wasn't over it. The transformed prince huffed a little, clearly uncomfortable to look Oz directly in the eyes after what the shy boy did to him today. "It's really important. So you better listen carefully to what I'm saying."

"I just can't let you constantly flirting with this guy in front of me," Damien literally spat out the words. He felt angry every time he thought back to the moment. Just thinking about it pissed him off! Confused him so much and made him lose the bit of control he had over his emotions. It… unsettled him to see Oz so happy with Brian. Made him doubt. In those moments, he wished he could keep the little nerd all to himself. And he envied the zombie for being able to interact and talk to Oz so normally. Something that was denied to himself at the moment. And that irritated and frustrated him equally. Because he… he…

Liked Oz. More than he wanted to admit. But he also felt such jealousy. So bad that it was driving him out of his mind! And Oz wasn't making it any better by acting so cute towards him all the time! When the shy monster looked after him in such a heartwarming way. Talked to him like he was talking to one of his little friends. When Oz entrusted himself to him. Telling him about his worries, his plans for the future, his wishes, his thoughts and doubts. Damien liked it how Oz's hands were undeterred by his spikes and found a way to pass under his guard. Or how Oz gently touched Damien's nose with his own. Oh heck! He just couldn't stay mad at him. Because he knew Oz wasn't intentionally making him feel bad.

Slowly, Damien turned to face Oz. "Fine, I'll let it pass. But just this once." The transformed prince lifted himself to his paws and, with some difficulty, climbed up onto his classmate's lap. "Just remember what I told you." He definitely wasn't going to share Oz. No way. He had never been very good at that to begin with! Even if Oz looked so happy when he was with his friends…. Even if it would probably make him pretty sad if Damien forbid it…. Damn it! The idea of Oz being unhappy made his heart feel even heavier than the image of Oz being so carefree with someone else than him. "All right! You can go on doing whatever you want. Be together with whomever you want. But that doesn't change the fact that I like you way more than the zombie face!" he huffed softly and for once sincere towards Oz. Someday Damien would repeat those words for him.

_

Damien is still a bit grumpy towards Brian after this event, but tries to act a little more chill around Oz's zombie friend from now on. Doesn't always work out. But he is giving his best!

To be continued.

[kwiiwi1]

(ok so I realized I haven't introduced my poly polynesian OC relationship so imma do it rn)

INTRODUCING.. VĀ-KĀ YIPPEE ✨️✨️✨️

Vā-Kā is this kinda NZ K-pop group / band I made way back in lockdown, which was 4 years ago, and have since then been thinking about sm (along with all my other 100+ OC's but shh I'll talk about em in another post maybe lolz)

I created them because I was really bored and sad, and it was like, "mm wonder if there's like an NZ K-Pop group... imma make my own for funsies 😈😈😈"

It was supposed to be like a one-off thing, but they turned into this v real thing I could pull off when I'm older and have more experience with art, like I'm literally crying inside because the edits I could animate?? the music?? the unofficial photoshoots?? them in general?? so many ideas are crammed in my head fr

Anywaysss onto like actually talking about them!

There's 8 members overall, 6 girls and 2 dudes, and they're all best friends turned band / K-pop group turned lovers (cause I'm a sucker for friends to lovers fr)

It's kinda like a K-Pop group but not really it's like.. looser. Idk

I will post proper art of them eventually, but I'm so worried about like repping em wrong since like 7 members are POC, and even tho I'm POC, I'm feeling like I'd do something wrong so yeah

But anyways, time for actual lore stuff hooray 🥳🥳🥳

(Lore under the cut lolz)

Members:

💜 Tori Tuigamala / Lunar 💜

Tori is the oldest of the group and is one of the main leaders (the group doesn't really have leaders, but they all follow her and Kora since they both have the most level heads about shit.). She's introverted and a bit motherly, except its kinda like she'll nip you around the ears if you don't listen to her fr.

It always feels like she's the one who knows what to do because of how organized she is. She seems to plan out everyones schedule without their permission, even if it comes from a good place.

However, she follows through with the promises she makes every time, and actively tries to own up to whatever wrongdoings either her or her group cause, while watching out for the groups safety because she cares and loves them all so much, even if she doesn't say it enough like she'd want to.

Silly facts:

Dyslexic so often she'll record her notes through voice messages or voice-to-text to make it easier. Otherwise, Kora will note the stuff down when they're in meetings n stuff

Loves mochas, ube roll, chocolate chip cookies, and straight black coffee

insomniac, probably

Smells like pomegranate

Samoan-French, has 2 dads and a younger sister, Toni, who's also in the band

25 years old, oldest member. Bday is 31st August, starsigns a Virgo

Her as a squishmallow would be Violet the Octopus

Bisexual and Demigirl, pronouns are she/her + they/them

Height is 5'9"

A friend said that her clothing style would be similar to Hoonjoong from Ateez, and from analysing, it'd be like.. baggy shirts tucked into high-waisted pants or mom jeans-eque pants, washed out colours, sweaters, and cardigans, generally very soft and casual yet trendy if you style it right yknow

Seungmin-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, and Yoongi-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Favourite colour is purple 💜💜💜💜💜

One of the main singers of the band/group, the other one is Harper

Music taste is like.. jazz. soul music. R&B. idfk fr 😭😭😭😭

Voice claim is AACACIA cause I've always felt like she'd have this kinda deep-ish soul voice that's a lil bit floaty and lilty (idk how to explain my brain properly fr) and like.. soon as I listened to AACACIA, she just fit

Probably had an emo phase. or a vampire phase. maybe both. we don't talk about it

Eats plain rice when she's stressed, bored, overwhelmed, or all three (like me 😍😍😍😍)

Link to voice claim: https://youtu.be/bAAExYOc3VY

💙 Diana Kim / Fluxx 💙

Diana's a smartie seems so very cold and somewhat distant to the public because of how harsh and blunt her remarks come off as.

Their fandom + her group know that she isn't at all like that and that she has trouble communicating her feelings properly. She loves to talk about space and / or the ocean (it changes each day), makes clothes for group sometimes, does photography, and is actually a very soft and caring person, she just doesn't know how to express it properly sometimes.

It takes her a bit of a while to tho, and when she does, she puts in a lot of time and effort. On the inside, she's very expressive and ambitious, always eager to learn something new, and is encouraging her group with how she sticks constantly to one goal until she makes it without Diana realizing her effect.

Silly facts:

Loves earl grey tea, caramel brittle and carrot cake.

Smells like peppermint

Blasian (African-American + South Korean), has 3 parents (two are her birth parents)

24 years old. Birthday is 16th December, starsign is Sagittarius

Her as a squishmallow would be Perry the Dolphin

Bisexual and Demisexual, pronouns are she/her

Height is 6'0"

Friend said that she'd dress like smart but fashionable. Has a similar style to Seungmin or Hyunjin from Stray Kids, so it's half comfy and fashionable n half smart and fashionable

Changbin-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, also Yoongi-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Favourite colour is blue 💙💙💙

Plays keyboard / synth for the group

I'm not sure what her music taste is either, but it feels like a mix of classical and jazz music + BTS

Voice claim for her is Bic Runga

Ocean and space hyperfixation, my dudes

Takes photos of her members lovers and sticks it up on her room walls

BTS stan, biases are SUGA / Yoongi and RM / Namjoon

Has an Avatar (blue people) OC lolz

Link to voice claim: https://youtu.be/WJXfwo68C4M

💚 Asher Kieu / virt2 💚

Asher is v v quiet and soft-spoken, barely speaks up in the interview's or stuff the group has. Even though Asher's quiet most of the time, she's very perceptive and can often pick up on what others don't, making her a real good listener.

Is secretly a good cook + baker and sometimes plays piano pieces for the group or the fandom when she has the time on her solo livestreams. (I say secretly cause none of Vā-Kā let her into the kitchen. There's like... a 75% chance she'll set the entire thing on fire. Maybe. Probably.)

She's a very emotional kinda person, can kinda come off as being a bit sensitive even if she doesn't mean to get hurt. The fandom + members compare her voice to like an angels because of how like soft and gentle it sounds. It helps some of their fans, n tbh Asher loves being able to inspire their fandom even if she doesn't involve herself as much as she would like to.

Silly facts:

Likes mint chocolate chip ice cream, lemonade and caramel apples

Smells like vanilla sugar cookies.

Dark skin Vietnamese (still need to figure out the deets), also has 3 parents and a younger brother

23 years old. Birthday is 25th February, starsign is Pisces

Her as a squishmallow would be Serene the Squirrel

Pansexual and Genderqueer, pronouns are she/her + he/him + they/them

Height is 5'5"

Friend said that asher would dress in stuff that's really comfortable, like it doesn't have to look crazy good it just has to be comfy for them to hide and not draw attention yknow

Hyunjin-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, Jimin-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Fav colour is green (more specifically, mint) 💚💚💚

Backup vocals for the group, n plays acoustic guitar + piano if needed

I have literally no clue for what she listens to 💀💀💀💀💀 maybe like lofi, but I'm not sure yet

Voice claim is Georgia Lines (found her on a NZ mix playlist on Spotify and she kinda stuck instantly)

Strong self-esteem issues (me too ✨️✨️✨️✨️). doesn't choose to be in the spotlight in case it's seen as them showing off

Loves baking. Secret hobby of hers. Has a lil secret room in her room where she bakes and vibes

Autistic probably (me pt 2)

🧡 Kora Faletau / sivk 🧡

Kora is a grouchy but lovable and stupid idiot, keeps the group in check when they're in public, and helps to lighten the mood with some self-deprecating jokes at his expense.

Very intelligent. Smartiepants. High IQ mother fucker. Really tall. And strong. uh. yuh

Is almost always done with the groups shenanigans (especially when Harper, Micah, Toni, and Alto are being lil asshats), but he deals with it because they're the only thing that keeps him sane.

Most honest person in the group tho, will not be afraid to call you out on your shit. You lie to him, he will wrestle ur ass off that high horse in a second (he inherited his mother's sass and attitude to a point ong)

Silly facts:

Likes pizza n pasta despite being lactose sensitive / intolerant. Dumb shithead

Smells like strawberries

Tongan-Latino, youngest of 4 siblings (3 older sisters) n a single mum

23 years old. birthday is 21st September, starsign is Virgo

Them as a squishmallow would be Gary the Giraffe

Demisexual Pansexual + Nonbinary, uses he/they pronouns

Height is 6'3", tallest member

Friend said that Kora would wear whatever he pulls out of the closet and somehow he'd still make it work, so they don't really have a set style and it's all over the place but it fits them

Bangchan and / or Changbin-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, Namjoon-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Fav colour is orange 🧡🧡🧡

Bassist, does keyboard/synth when Diana's not free + main rapper

Listens to rap n stuff, like Kendrick Lamar, J.Cole, Logic, and then siren jams because man's would not be complete with blasting some shitty siren jam early in the morning

Voice claim for him is Kings because he's kinda got like a deep kinda scratchy n smooth voice fr

V v Bangchan n Changbin-core like have you seen this dude work out. Mans used to play basketball too cause of his height, so he'd probably be real good at sports shit n like lean n built n muscular lolz

Hates physical contact when they're in interviews or other (hugs and kisses in front of people make him lose his confidence and gets him all embarrassed and shy), but loves it when the groups behind closed doors.

💛 Harper Mayfield / Sun-E 💛

Harper is an absolute ball of sunshine, jokes around and makes fun of her friends, very energetic, and hypes everyone up.

She's always on the move, whether it be from cleaning, cooking, to her favourite dancing, she's always found to be doing something in order to improve on herself.

Bros surprisingly wise and almost always manages to talk down confrontations, and her smile is known to brighten up both the group and their fandoms day. Whenever she makes someone happy, she's happy.

Silly facts:

Likes lemon drops, turkish delight, fry bread

Smells like coconut cream and ginger

Māori-Australian, is the youngest of 4 siblings (1 older sister and 2 older brothers) n a single mum

22 years old. Birthday is 5th June, starsign is Gemini

Her as a squishmallow would be Kayla the Koala

Pansexual + Genderfluid , uses any pronouns

Height is 5'11"

Friend said that Harper has like a simple style, like a shirt and jeans with the occasional jacket here and there, plus a lot of accessories. Either that or she'll wear really colourful n confident clothes that she pulls off really easily, so she v much has a style similar to J-Hope from BTS

Jisung-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, Hobi-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Favourite colour is yellow 💛💛💛

2nd Main Vocalist + Saxophonist for the group

Listens to anything she can dance to, so it'd be like a mix of Hip Hop n Rap. I have a playlist of songs I think she'd dance to for funsies lol

Voice claim is Kimbra, idk she fits fr fr

Down bad. Down horrendously. Easy to fluster and easy to please. Silly silly Harper

Makes a lot of kandi n stuff for the group as accessories for when they dress up n shit. Loves it sm

❤️ Micah Tyjani / DUSK ❤️

Micah is very laid back and chill, takes a whole lotta shit to piss her off. She sometimes helps out Kora with cooking or the younger members (Toni and Alto) with being stupid as shit, but she goes with the flow most of the time.

She's a night owl kinda person too lol. Most of the group go to her for a place to vent or cry because she's so laid-back and lax with it, and she welcomes it all, as she always makes sure to check up on her members.

She cares a lot, and she cares very deeply about all of them, just like they all care for her fr.

Silly facts:

Likes red velvet cake and mashed potatoes

Smells like gingerbread

Nigerian-Haitian, born to two dads (one of them was a seahorse dad)

23 years old, birthday is 13th July, starsign is Cancer

Them as a squishmallow would be Bailey the Llama

Unlabeled + Bigender, uses she/him pronouns

Height is 5'8"

Friend said that Michas style would be a mix of both Harper and Ashers, so like simple and comfortable clothes with a lot of accessories and bright colours lolz

Seungmin-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, Namjoon-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Favourite colour is red ❤❤❤

2nd Bassist of the group + 2nd rapper

Listens to Hip Hop n Rap n like other stuff. Still need to think fr

Voice claim is Ladi6

Works out with Kora. they're both so 🤤🤤🤤🤤 PLUS she can beat people up if they need to, so boom banger

🩷 Toni Tuigamala / Eris 🩷

Toni is the absolute opposite of her older sister. Where Tori is organized and figured out, Toni is brash and all over the place.

Although she fools around a lot and kinda comes off as a bit of a jerk, she can be quiet and caring when needed mhm mhm

Unafraid to speak her mind, and probably joins Kora in the "I shall beat u up with my words and my wit" category. Her wit is sharp, but her tongue is even sharper fr. Sassy lil shit.

Offers the best fashion advice and makes sure that everyone looks their best.

Silly facts:

Likes rice pudding and raspberry cheesecake

Smells like waffles and maple syrup

Samoan-French, two dads, and ofc her older sister Tori

22 years old, birthday is 17th April n starsign is Aries

Her as a squishmallow would be Reina the Butterfly

Omnisexual (with the teeniest lean towards women) + Pangender, uses she/they + he/him pronouns

Height is 5'7"

Friend said that Toni would have a similar style to Tori since she's her sister, but like sometimes when he's in the mood, he'd wear something chic. They said that there isn't really a specific theme, but that's how Toni is, she doesn't have a certain theme but if it works it works lolz

Lee-Know-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, Tae-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Favourite colour is magenta, but I use this soft pink heart for her lolz 🩷🩷🩷

Drummer for the group

Listens to FLO n like.. idk sexy bitch music. she is the moment slayy 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽

Voice claim is Aaradhna

Flirty. So flirty. So pretty. Gets under Harper's skin a lot, but in a flirty sexy way yknow

🩵 Alto Manukuo / Alto 🩵

Alto's the sweetheart himbo of the group, the bro who can manage to make everyone swoon for him without even trying. Very sweet and kind, has the ultimate puppy eyes tbh

Sometimes, he surfs when he's got the time, but most of the time, he spends it doing gymnastics and / or working out and / or playing with Toni. Likes helping out around the groups house and gives the best hugs for such a short guy. Always energetic and bubbly, will not stop until he'd able to make your day better.

(He's so puppy I NEED HIM 👹👹👹👹👹)

Silly facts:

Likes honeycomb n milk and fry bread

Smells like peach and custard pie

Indonesian-Niuean. youngest of 3 siblings, has 2 older brothers n their two mums

21 years old, birthday is 30th March, starsign is Pisces

Him as a squishmallow would be Harrison the Dog

Bisexual + Genderfluid, uses any pronouns but mainly he/him and she/her

Height is 5'6"

Friend said that though Alto is a cutie because they work out / do gymnastics, so they feel like their closet would mostly have like sleeveless shirts n cropped tops, similar to Bangchan from Stray Kids. Otherwise it'd be soft sweaters n sweatpants because yes

Jeongin-core from the "Which SKZ member are you?" quiz, Jin-core from the "Which BTS member are you?" quiz

Favourite colour is teal, but I use this like light blue emoji for him 🩵🩵🩵

2nd backup vocalist + Electric Guitar for the group

Listens to I have no fucking clue, but it'd be like flowy n vibey yknow

Voice claim is Shaan Singh from Drax Project, absolute loml 😍😍😍😍😍

Golden retriever energy. himbo. solid himbo energy mans onggg

Works out a lot too. Stronk. Squidgy. Need him

Still can't get rid of that CHUNKY THICC ASS 😫😫😫😫😫

[blissfali]

Anyway i was brainstorming designs for the crew in dsmputah. cWilbur has a hat he got from a gift shop it literally just has the shape of utah on it and then it says utah. He gives chormito his beanie and tommy wears it like his life depends on it. Cwilbur is usually in his apron for work half the time but if hes not hes just wearing the jacket uniform thing.

Chormmy i havent decided Much yet but id like to think he takea a bit after cwilbur when they were still on the dsmp and layers up and shit. Practical but comfy. he ditches the cardigans and leans more into jean jackets because they have so many convenient pockets and he likes pulling forks out of the inside pockets.

Ctubbo becomes a part time mechanic and hes got a wifebeater thats a little too big and it hangs off his torso pretty loosely and hes got his binder underneath (trans ctubbo agenda) and then grayblue overalls tied around his waist. Hes got a bun and his eyepatch i havent decided the design for it yet but im leaning either towards NLM or snowchester flag. I think when people come into the shop and they see his scar they asked what the fuck happened and he tells them he got mauled by a schoolbus

Cranboo starts growing back into own skin more and he loses the tense shoulders for soft sweaters and sweatpants. Hes not a guy of many suits anymore (well, maybe every once in a while) and he favors comfort majorly over practicality these days. He has many many raincoats and ponchos and umbrellas. He stays inside most of the time cause theres a lot more people in Utah than hes used to in the dsmp but its not too bad because Michael B is the life of the party

michael b regular clothes more t shirts tho he also gets to wear SUN DRESSES because its HOT and snowchester was ice cold. Hes got a yellow one that has little flies in between the ruffles

Jack manifold stays the same in outerware. People come to him on the street and ask what hes listening to in his headphones and he says ? Nothing. and then he walks away. He likes picking up free giftshop items from Freddy Fazbears Pizza. because hes an employee and he puts them on his nightstand. and one time when ctommy was over at his apartment and the lights were off an action figure of chica had glowing eyes and he shat himself. For michael bs birthday Jack gets him a cupcake plush