#literally why is that fuckwad running twitter

[peridotamethyst]

Me posting my other accs on twitter before my rate limit runs out in like 5 minutes:

[silvyavan]

OK I read the chapter and I finally realised why I can't Lucius seriously.

This man is giving eldest sibling syndrome, chuunibiyo and airfried energy so hard.

Like, all things considered, I don't think the majority of twitter really sets in that Lucius, even if he is the last baddie, is still the fuckhead that raised the Zogratis sibs.

This man is the reason Dante, Vanica and Zenon turned out like that and it SHOWS. (Under the cut cause I ain't making you read me dragging these 4 bitches to dirt)

Dante is the definition of narcissism, a man who thinks he's better than everyone but refuses to work for that title. He has the emotional intelligence of both a 50 year old boomer and a spoiled edgy 12 year old and it changes like a metronome. Even Lucifero dipped his ass. He's a misogynistic fuckwad with little to no mental development. This fucker absolutely copy pasted this shit from Lucius "I am The Chosen One" Zogratis.

Vanica. Look at her. This milf chasing trauma machine runs solely on the desire to fight because she's very much socially undeveloped and doesn't believe in familial love. Bitch couldn't understand why Acier wanted to protect her family and it took Noelle beating her ass halfway to death to even grasp the concept of friendship and it missed the shot so hard. Her healthiest relationship is with Megicula and that's an insult to Lucius' parenting methods.

Zenon. Zenon Gay Disaster Projection Zogratis. Where do I even begin with the most mentally incapacitated youngest child? This dude almost, ALMOST got out of the toxic family clutches and could have eloped with his childhood sweetheart Allen but Lucius (im pretty sure the dungeon incident was his fault, you can't tell me it aint) got so fuck ass mad over Allen "steering Zenon away from what he's supposed to be" that he sent out a hit on him to get Zenon to crawl back so traumatised he literally copy pasted the Lucius Manifesto into his head and went on a depression episode that lasted 15 years. Man self projected his self blame, flaws and everything he hated about himself onto Yuno because he saw the Parallels. Man sold his SOUL to Beelzebub for a cornchip victory that never came.

You telling me these three are the pinnacle of plotting? For all I can tell, Lucius sacrificed all of his sibling for whatever agenda he had and the minute something goes even a millimeter off the prophecy, he immediately tries to kill it instead of working around it.

Man is so hellbent on forcing his chosen one timeline he has no fucking long term planning skills. This man started a fight with Asta in front of two royals, a 500 year old sealing mage and all of whom know how to use Ultimate Magic. Mimosa is Literally the Senzu Bean of Black Clover. Noelle has killed MULTIPLE demons. Secre can banish Lucius' ass faster than he can ask what's going on. This is not the plan of the century, ESPECIALLY if he started this shit in the Royal Palace where MULTIPLE high ranking and strong mages reside.

You look at this man and tell me he ain't a deep fried chuuni who fell into a white supremacist reddit forum and got a 5 year plan that is a botched 20 year plan involving mass genocide. I don't believe it.

Man probably even made up Julius entire identity around his own self and then got shocked when said second soul then doesn't wanna listen to him.

I ain't even mad about Tabata making the 4th Zogratis Julius Sibling theory cannon now because the way it comes off, the only true way to stop the 3 Demonic Musketeers Of Apocalypse is to defeat their weirder, more unstable and bigoted eldest sibling who raised them into those disasters.

At this point, the only thing that could make this EVEN FUNNIER is if Lucius didn't account for the possibility of "eating a supreme devil's malice fueled heart immediately purifies them and reincarnates them as humans", which is to say Asta could be Astaroth's Unbothered, Moisturized, Happy, In My Lane, Focused, Flourishing Human Version and Asta simply talking is giving Lucius an aneurysm.

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

part 1 of the andreil coming out thing here

ok, so andrew and neil aren't the most openly affectionate

there's no hints to the public that they could possibly be together, considering their little... rivalry

however, with andrew out now, a few people like to believe that andrew and neil could have an "enemies-to-lovers" situation

some people even think that they're already together

nevertheless, this is a very small population in the grand scheme of exy, and most of this is indulging in fantasies anyways — few people really believe in these theories

and as months pass after andrew's coming out, people stop pestering him every 0.2 seconds about who his boyfriend is

andrew and neil think they're finally free of all the annoying paparazzi and slightly overbearing fans

and it's under this false sense of security that shit hits the roof

it's a random september night when it happens, nothing terribly significant

but the whole week, andrew had been craving a closeness with neil, the kind that comes with not seeing your person for weeks

so he booked a flight to where neil was, realizing that had this occurred a few years back, andrew probably wouldn't have even acknowledged that he missed neil, let alone made steps to actually see him again

on a flight.

(he thinks bee would be proud)

anyway, he reached neil's apartment with minimal damage and proceeded to be drowned in kisses

it's a good few days.

and then, on that fateful september night, andrew is hit with the urge to take neil out

(not like murder. more like... a date?)

they don't usually go out on those, but it's not like they've never done so before

so andrew books a dinner reservation at a fancy restaurant, fully intending to take his man out on a nice. fancy. relaxing. drama-free. date.

of course, the universe has other plans

andrew and neil arrive at the restaurant (a little late but neil's lips were a good distraction for a few hours, okay? (they may have left the kitchen in disarray from lunch, but that's irrelevant))

their table is a secluded corner where they're pretty much hidden from view, save for one or two tables, and the seemingly solid privacy relaxes andrew and neil

their dinner goes by relatively uneventfully

(excluding when andrew gave a small smile to one of neil's dumb jokes, who proceeded to dump marinara sauce into his water instead of next to his garlic bread while staring dreamily at andrew, and then nearly choked when he took his next sip from the glass)

(also excluding when neil gave a not-so-innocent suck on his fork and andrew, frustrated over laws about public indecency, stabbed his brussel sprouts aggressively, causing one to fly up and hit and burn his eye)

(also also excluding— )

ok, so maybe it was more of a mess than andrew was ready to admit

but andrew dug into his panna cotta feeling lighter than he had in weeks as neil teased him about his sugar addiction and held his hand under the table

it was as andrew leaned over and kissed some cream off the side of neil's lips that he got the feeling of being watched

he whirled around, hair nearly hitting neil's face, as his gaze landed on a cell phone camera pointed at them

he caught the eye of a very guilty looking man, made even more errant when said man proceeded to leap out of his chair and run out of the restaurant

andrew was half-out of his chair to follow him when neil tugged on his shirt sleeve, an instigative glint in his eye

"neil. do you want to see this on every gossip magazine in the next few hours?"

"well no, but that fuckwad is always going to have those pictures. we, however, can make sure he doesn't get the headline he wants"

"... i'm listening"

about 40 minutes later, back at neil's apartment, neil posts a picture of his extremely messy kitchen on twitter

@neil_josten_official: well fuck me 🥴

@03andrewminyard: if you insist

~ 30 minutes later ~

@neil_josten_official: *image attached: andrew is laying his head in the crook of neil's neck as neil kisses him on the top of his head, andrew's fingers running through neil's hair. they both appear to be shirtless*

@neil_josten_official: BREAKING NEWS: just had sex with my (very hot) boyfriend to get revenge on unfulfilled gossip "journalists." life really couldn't be better :)

@neil_josten_official: ok but really, stop trying to out closeted celebrities (and people in general). it's not cool. it's not trendy. our lives aren't a scandal to report on. you're all just assholes and fuck you

@neil_josten_official: but not literally. a metaphorical fuck, if you will

@exykevinday.official: I'm proud of you for coming out and finally ending your ridiculous rivalry @neil_josten_official and @03andrewminyard, but was there really no other way you could have done so without informing me about your sex life?

@03andrewminyard: haha. no.

needless to say, the internet erupts in shock at neil's tweets

theories emerge left and right about how, when, why andrew and neil got together

the two of them get requests for so many interviews, talk shows, panels, magazines, all of which they turn down

of course, there's the occasional question in a post-game or team interview that's hard to avoid, and for the most part, these rare moments provide the only things the public knows about what they affectionately call "andreil"

but apparently when you're in a very public relationship, there are certain expectations fans have about how much of it you disclose

and while andrew doesn't necessarily want to divulge their private life to millions of people, he also can't help but be reminded of how seeing nicky and erik's comfortable relationship in his late teenage years solidified to him that him liking guys wasn't a bad thing

and it's with that in mind that he posts a picture on his instagram from earlier in june of him and neil curled up on the sofa, a massive rainbow flag draped around them with neil kissing his cheek

it's one of the few pictures he posts of the two of them (photos are more of neil's thing (when the hell did he take such model-esque photos of andrew?))

but andrew constantly @'s neil on twitter for literally anything

@03andrewminyard: don't forget the cat food the spoiled idiots take the most expensive stuff @neil_josten_official

@03andrewminyard: hey @neil_josten_official get me the mega stuff oreos from the store ok bye

@03andrewminyard: i- @neil_josten_official. why. is. there. neon. orange. paint. all. over. my. socks.

needless to say, neil's retaliation of posting gorgeous photos of andrew always flusters andrew

and if andrew needs to press soft kisses to his lips to stop neil's gleeful laughter and his own flightful smile, well, that's no one's business