#lix/bel

[theflamboyantstranger]

Okay still waiting in 2024. This is the year!

We need season 3 of The Hour in 2021. Make it happen BBC

[postsofbabel]

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[shesnake]

the funny thing about the hour is I get soooo cracked about bel and freddie whenever I watch season 1 that I can rarely make it to season 2 which is when lix and randall "start" and they're the ones who make me so much more unhinged

[jomiddlemarch]

freddy lyon and bel rowley for the five lines of fic! or... if you are feeling like a rarepair, bel and lix...

“Well, it’s over,” Freddie said. 

Declared really, as he was wont to do, lifting his chin, almost tossing his head coquettishly. A great bloody diva Freddie was or could be and what did it say about her that she longed for him all the more because of it?

“It’s more complicated than that—and what does that get us, surrendering to the narrative that we didn’t write?” Bel replied, rather pleased with herself, truth be told, for the way she’d put it and the way Freddie’s dark eyes brightened as he listened.

“We’ll never surrender then and if there’s a ship in this metaphor, we’ll go down with her or find a way to sail somewhere no one expected we could ever find,” he said.

[einsatzzz]

Heya there Ein! Question time for you! Have some Meta asks.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

For Kurumi

What plot points would change due to the inclusion of your character in canon?

For Kana

What headcanons/theories do you believe fandom would invent about your character?

What controversies/drama would your character incite in fandom?

Yui

What would be the ‘incorrect but wildly popular’ interpretation of your character in fandom?

and for any character of your choosing

What is the wildest crackship you can imagine for your character, whether in-universe or in crossover?

And this one's the last for the fandom OC ask! Thank you for sending this one Lix hehehe That last one was so fun ngl I hope my answer for that is funny enough!

Kurumi: What plot points would change due to the inclusion of your character in canon?

I already answered here! But to add one more, it would be that after Gokudera's debut/focus chapter, the next one would be Kurumi's instead of Yamamoto's or that chapter where they have trouble with this asshole teacher. 🫶✨

Kana: What headcanons/theories do you believe fandom would invent about your character?

I also already answered in the link above too. But I'll give you one more on the house! I feel like there would also be theories that Kana was raised separately from Kurumi for some reason. Each person will come up with different reasons for it that they would connect as to the reason why Kana grew up to have those types of vibes.

Kana: What controversies/drama would your character incite in fandom?

I have an answer for this here too! But of course, more extras for you Lix! 🥳🥳 It's kind of related to my answer to this ask actually, but shipping aside, there will definitely be discourse between how different people would interpret her character. I can see people causing drama and complaining if they see another person who's interpretation of her is on the other side of the spectrum. It would also be guaranteed that there will be those types of people who can't handle morally grey characters, straight up just saying that if you like characters like Kana then you agree with her views and beliefs shown in the story 🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭

Yui: What would be the ‘incorrect but wildly popular’ interpretation of your character in fandom?

I answered this here too! An additional one I can think of is that, I feel like people will just see Yui for whatever he's showing in the surface - a goofy/unserious character obsessed with robots, which ignores the other aspects of his characters and the layers that he has beneath.

Any Character: What is the wildest crackship you can imagine for your character, whether in-universe or in crossover?

LMAOOOOO OK I'LL LIST DOWN THE ONES I CAN REMEMBER SDBFHSVDF MOSTLY FROM MY BROTHER

Bel x Kurumi - Suggested by my brother who loves Varia. In his defense, he said it will be a Prince x Princess ship, which is actually pretty cute...in theory. Bel isn't really your standard shoujo prince, is he? hahaha Though I feel like they'll somehow get along in a strange way if they ever meet in the main story.

Mukuro x Kana - Another one suggested by the same brother, who is also a Mukuro GOAT truther. He said it's because they look like they're the same breed of nasty, and also in consideration of this one secret Kana lore I told him about. I have no counter for that but just for this one certain thing, they'll be each other's haters tbh. One of the reasons why I think he's lowkey trying to convince me to ship them is because he wants more Mukuro screentime in my arts and KHRe 🤣🤣If I somehow get into this ship someday, you can either thank or blame him 👍✨

Enma x Hiyori - Cooked up by my brother again, who also likes Enma. His headcanon is that those bandaids on Enma's face are from when Hiyori keeps treating him whenever he trips or get beat up by bullies. Lowkey cute????? I should ask for his other ships, though it would definitely involve Varia, Kokuyo Gang or Simon Family.

Hibari x Ryuuka - Something that crossed my mind when thinking of silly scenarios where TYL Hibari gets caught up in a time slip. Of course, this is crack because they live 200+ years away from each other dfbhjvfshdf I even have an old rough sketch for the scenario, though I didn't really finish, where he thought Ryuuka is Kana? He's very ready to fight her, as usual, but this one is always cooped up in her lab. Ryuuka probably thinks he's Alaude or Alaude's relative. Anyway, I didn't really think that deep for this.

[fidjiefidjie]

"The New Staircase in Au Bon Marche"🗼

Lithographie 🖋🖊de Frédéric Théodore Lix pour Le Monde Illustré 1875s

Bel après-midi 👋

[nicollekidman]

bel and freddie and lix and randall

[lixenn]

You're my weird Squalo girl and I will follow forever! We'll chill together in the afterlife still talking about our blorbos, you ain't getting rid of me bud 🫡💜✨

Also your analysis of him is so on point! Excellent breakdown of the Squ imo 🫡👍

That song... it slaps so hard.... love your music taste bud it's different from what I usually listen to because I really can be a basic bitch sometimes when it comes to music but I love it! I can totally see the connection! It kinda has boss music vibes? I dig it!

As for the Xanxus headcanon... Lix stamp of approval! That just makes me think that the panthers will follow Xanxus around when he's outside and taking a walk... And he doesn't really give a fuck bit it ups his intimidation factor so he will allow it. (Bel getting jealous that the panthers like the Boss more than him... Bel going to Chief to complain about it... I'm having panther brainrot now).

8027 totally solid ship, me likey 🫡

QUESTION TIME BUDDY (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Squalo (cause of course i gotta ask after the squ)

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Xanxus

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Yamamoto

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

oh look the weird squalo girl got asks about squalo wooooo who would have thooooought how do you guys still follow me? seriously am I not so obnoxious about this guy???? what are you doing here

Thank you for indulging me bud ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

2. Ok so. I apologise in advance if I get some things wrong about his canon traits because I feel like I'm REALLY bad at analysing characters, and I'm a bit self-conscious about sharing why I like them because my idea may not be totally accurate to canon. My favourite thing about Squalo has to be his sense of pride. Often in anime the prideful character is either a comic relief or their pride is extinguished the moment they're defeated, as if it's a flaw that needs to be "remodeled", reduced, and they become friends with the MC or generally feel downgraded. However Squalo wears it like a fucking badge of honour and does not ever reconsider it, and balances his responsibilities as captain and his more independent side without exaggerating. (I live off characters with strong beliefs that they bring to their grave HHHNNHHN NNOITRA THIS IS YOU)

Idk if it will make sense but he's never LESS loud, proud, or stubborn after his (many) defeats. After the Rain battle, he doesn't just fuck off defeated hating on Yams because he got outsmarted - in future arc, Squalo sees it as his responsibility to hone Yamamoto's abilities because that brat is strong in his eyes and he's pissed off Yams is not expressing his potential (not to mention the 100 matches tapes). I feel like he can respect strong people without thinking any less of himself.

There are also many other things I like about him but this is at least one of the top 3.

5. Other than his character song? brb-

12. A headcanon for Xanxus... he's one of those people that doesn't particularly care for animals (and here I mean like he won't fawn over them with a baby voice or anything, he likes them just enough) but animals ADORE him. They show themselves to be extremely friendly towards him. Why? Who knows. It applies to box animals too.

15. My favorite ship with Yamamoto. AAAAGH I'm not the biggest shipper out there but. I think it's a tie between 8027 and S80(tyl), but since I tend to ship DS I always resort to 8027 for Yams.

[juniper-and-lamplight]

Recent Reads -- May 12, 2019

It turns out that I start to feel itchy if I don’t do a round-up of my various one-off recs every few months or so? Though there are some new recs on this list too (helloooo, Lix Storm). As usual, it’s a multifandom mix--DGHDA, Harry Potter, The Hour, and just a bit of Sherlock and The History Boys. Recs under the cut, so you don’t have to scroll unless you want to :)  Enjoy!

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency I'm So Queer I Can't Even Think Straight (But To Be Fair, You're Not Helping) - @dont-offend-the-bees - 2.2k, T, Dirk/Todd "'His mind was buzzing, his heart pounding, his lips tingling, even now five, ten, however many minutes later. But if nothing else, he’d got past the phase of the whole holy shit Dirk just kissed me thing going round and round in his head, stuck in there like a bad song. But holy shit Dirk just kissed him.' In which Todd shows his hand, and Dirk takes a leap." So funny and charming that I’m almost mad about it? The Comic happened, we all lost our minds, and Bees was there with fic on the SAME DAY.

A Thousand Butterflies Can't Be Wrong, (But I Think I Might Be.) - electricteatime | @kieren-fucking-walker - 6.2k, G, Dirk/Todd "It’s a lot, he knows it’s a lot, and he almost wishes he’d stopped to think about his answer before just blurting his feelings all over the place. But then he supposes he’s always been a little like that, and it hardly makes sense to change that now. If Todd feels the same he already knows what he’s signing up for. If. For two small letters, it really is a big word." OF COURSE post-s2 Dirk thinks that Todd and Farah will be together and leave him, because historically, that's how things go for him...bless his heart and his inability to cope with Todd's eyebrows.

Leave What's Heavy Behind - electricteatime - 5k, G, Dirk/Todd "A semi-poetic semi-character study of one Todd Brotzman, the lies he tells himself, and the truths Dirk Gently knows." So beautifully, painfully REAL?!? I may never stop having feelings about this fic.

song for the heartsick (better days are near) - embraidery - WIP, T, Bart & Suzie Boreton "Suzie Boreton, rescued from death at the hands of the Mage's goons by the dirtiest woman she's ever seen in her life, faces a question: would she like to go on a road trip with her savior? No, Suzie thinks, but when she opens her mouth, Yes comes out. And so begins the weirdest road trip ever." This is such a fascinating premise, I can't wait to see where it goes.

To sleep, perchance to dream - @flightinflame - 2.4k, G, Mona & friends "Mona is sick, and loses control of her abilities. She tries to hide it, but it becomes too much to ignore." This is? So soft?! And also quirky, and playful, and just plain heartwarming.

the intricacies of triangulation - reptilianraven | @actualbird - WIP, T, Farah/Dirk/Todd "'Todd. Us. Us and Todd. We need a plan for this,' Farah says. Or the one where Dirk and Farah get together (they’re surprised about it as well) and try their best to get Todd to date the both of them in the most roundabout ways possible." In just one chapter this fic had me HOWLING with laughter.

or make a home - reptilianraven - 6.6k, T, Dirk/Todd "Or Todd’s adventures in dating Dirk Gently, the mundanities of which unsurprisingly turning out to not be very mundane at all (featuring, among other things: intergalactic wormholes, regular periods of lying down on the floor, and several annoying habits that concern toothpaste and toothbrushes.)" With a combination of absurd humor and honest emotion, this fic absolutely nails the joys (and annoyances) of loving/supporting/living with another person.

put that baby back where it came from, or so help me - reptilianraven - 7.6k, T, Dirk/Todd "A case drops a telekinetic baby into the agency’s care and Dirk feels...overwhelmed whenever he sees Todd competently, wonderfully, lovingly taking care of a child." Tropey and ridiculous, but in the BEST WAY. My favorite line in this fic is ALL of them.

Though Your Breath Racks Your Ribs and You Throb with Pain; There's a Juice on My Lips for Each Purple Stain - @sexycoinkidicks - 7.4k, E, Dirk/Todd "In which Dirk shows Todd where it hurts. Angsty emotional smut, based loosely on a scene from the play Kiss of the Spider Woman (VERY loosely- no prior knowledge needed!)" Claustrophobic sadness and Extreme Emotional Intensity, with a slight edge of hope.

An Interlude; or, Compulsory Heterosexuality Made Me Do It - @teacupsandcyanide & @gallantrejoinder, - 1.6k, G, Farah & Todd "Farah and Todd did, in fact, make out while on the run. They also both realised some very important things about themselves. But not the things you might expect." Todd and Farah are glorious disasters, and I love them <3 This fic made me giggle from start to finish.

The Situation - teacupsandcyanide - 8.5k, M, Dirk/Todd "Todd raises his eyebrows at him. 'You gotta admit. We would get into this … situation.' 'What, the situation where we flee from the weekly hired goons into a badly aging knock-off of the Ritz, get shut in an empty room with no escape, and find ourselves compelled to make loud, gratuitous sex noises in order to put the aforementioned lackeys off the scent?'" In which Dirk and Todd have wildly different interpretations of Dirk's "coming out," and the only thing preventing them from getting together was their inability to have an honest damn conversation. Sensual and full of Big Emotions, as is only fitting for these two.

The Butterfly Effect (Love Is Love Is Love Is Love) - teacupsandcyanide - 7.2k, T, Dirk/Todd "Dirk kisses his best friend on their balcony in front of the Pride Parade. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Things escalate wildly into identity issues, old hang-ups, anguished declarations of love, and inopportune sabotage of the situation by their tiny bastard cat." This fic left me an incoherent, keysmashing mess. I might have actually clutched at my own heart after reading it.

Harry Potter Midday, Midnight - @aryastark-valarmorghulis - 8.5k, T, Remus/Sirius "During the summer of 1976, between fifth and sixth year at Hogwarts (and after The Prank), Remus goes outside the Lupin's cottage and he finds a big, black dog in his garden..." The character voice in this fic is so authentically teenager-y; Remus is so deep in his own head. I also enjoyed all of the sensory details, which create such a vivid image of the Lupin home, and the feel of a summer's day (and night).

Aural Gratification - birdsofshore - 10.9k, E, Harry/Draco "Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot." I know I’m waaaaay late to the party on this one (as I often am with Drarry fics), but worth it. As a person who listens to audiobooks for both fun and profit, I could not resist it :)

Letting Go - LuminousGloom - 6.1k, E, Remus/Sirius, Remus/Kingsley, Remus/OMC "A number of lusty, intimate encounters. Although for Remus, it's really only ever been about one person. And it's never quite right, until it's right." I love that each of Remus’ encounters is not only distinct and sexy, but also that each highlights different facets of him: forthright, secretive, curious, ashamed, conflicted, joyful, soft, rough, broken, and (eventually) unbroken.

like tea and knitwear - @songofwizardry - 2.4k, G, Remus/Sirius "There are probably easier and faster ways of showing one's affection than learning how to knit so one can make the object of said affections a jumper. Fortunately, Sirius has never been fond of picking the easy route." As soft and warm as a hand-knit jumper, but with just enough snarky humor that it still feels Marauders-y.

Sky Full of Song - @writcraft, read by semperfiona - 2k, 13min, T, Harry/Draco "Draco turns up at Harry's birthday party unexpectedly and Harry takes a leap of faith."  A wonderful blend of angst and humor and realistically messy emotions.

The History Boys Don't you know you're life itself? - Philipa_Moss - 5.5k, M, Scripps/Posner “Dakin thinks you’ll get bored of me,” Posner says, out of the blue, and Scripps says, automatic and habitual, “He doesn’t.” This fic feels so perfectly lived-in--all of the relationships (partnerships, friendships, whatever) are well-worn, complex, and shaped by choices in a way that rings true to life, and to the characters.

The Hour (Guess who watched all of The Hour this winter and was left wishing that there was another series entirely about Lix Storm?)

The Small Hours - deathorthetoypiano - 1k, T, Lix/Bel "Lix stayed at Freddie's funeral, despite her instincts - and old habits - telling her to leave. She stayed for Bel, because she might need rescuing or a shoulder to cry on, someone to make sure she was alright, or at least as alright as she could be, given the situation." A quiet, bittersweet coda.

My thought is not changeable - @lbmisscharlie - 1.5k, E, Lix/Bel "Freddie will return – sometime – he must – and Bel is never aimless when Freddie’s around, not like she is now, eyes intent on Lix’s mouth and one stockinged foot rubbing uncertainly against her calf and their smallest fingers just touching where their palms are braced on the floor." Sharp poignancy and tons of sensory--a perfect stolen moment.

Light gathered in you - lbmisscharlie - 1.4k, E, Lix/Bel "Bel looks at her, sidelong. Her lashes are long, mascaraed dark, and her mouth coral pink. “I did wonder,” she says. “If you were – a Sapphist.” She says the archaic word so delicately that Lix has to laugh, which makes Bel pink up and drop her gaze. “I’m – not fussy,” Lix says. She shifts her weight just so, her forearm brushing Bel’s elbow. Bel doesn’t look up, but takes a breath, lifts her glass to her mouth, and swallows her wine down." Everything about this--tone, dialogue, dynamics--feels spot-on.

The Most Marvellous Place to Get Lost - peninsulam - 8.5k, E, Lix/Bel "It is late spring in Tangier, and Bel feels as far from home as she has been in her life." Gorgeous, poignant, evocative. You know, just generally breathtaking.

Immoral Support - @thisbluespirit - 420 words, T, Lix/Bel "Bel winds up where she always does after a bad day; in the safest place she knows..." This is lovely, and manages to nail their dynamic in fewer than 500 words.

I'd like to explore you - rainbowsuomi - 604 words, unrated, Lix & Bel "Lix’s mind is already somewhere else when Bel tells her to think about it and exits the office, picturing herself in front of the camera, describing bars where girls had their hair cropped and styled with grease, smoking cigars and slipping their hands, elegant, long and white, under flowing, frilly skirts, caressing stockings and corrupting young ladies." A beautifully characterized slice of life (and Lix’s history).

Sherlock Roads, Not Shrouds - verdant_fire | @viridiandecisions - 3.4k, T, John/Sherlock "He's perfectly happy to live out the rest of his life in monastic devotion, feeding John and loving John and provoking John just enough to distract him from what Sherlock did to their kitchen table." Lovely and lyrical and heartfelt (without getting treacly).

Further fic recs | Fic bookmarks

[lixenn]

Raspberry icee, Dino Bones, Moss, Royalty, Spicy Mayo.

So much stuff (/▽＼) *goes check original post because I have the memory of a goldfish*

Now then:

Raspberry icee: *squints at you and your whole scary witch vibe* You'd definitely win but I want to say I would put up some off a fight.

Dino Bones: You are part of the Lix Friendship Club, so we got the friend part, as for talking. I can talk, luv. I can talk soooo much and you've asked for it so here we go: Be bombarded with questions (you'd thought this was you doing the asking? Nonono, I'm in charge now!)

You say you have four piercings, not counting the earrings, so naturally I'm wondering: How many earrings do you have? (It might have been shown in a picture, but I'm refering you to my goldfish brain and asking for patience.) Also what kind of material are your piercings made out of? And because three's the magic number: What other piercings are you considering getting?

Moss: Ahhh the walk in the woods that may or may not lead to my doom. ... I'll accept my fate whatever it may be (I'm asking you again: please do not eat me or ritually sacrifice me on a spooky wooden altar you magic'd out of thin air. I still have stories to write and people to amuse.)

Royalty: *blushes like mad because I can't handle praise* You're amazing too!!! Your makeup and outfit game is top tier!

Spicy mayo: And I also love your vibe, it's scarily unique and I really admire that. Plus the way you thrist/hate over Bel is fucking hilarious.

[upsilambic]

Wait a second! Look, it's not matchmaking. It's approaching the problem with a practical solution! 😅 But yes, having to listen to all of it serves Squalo right for being so stubborn. The other two don't mind at all since Luss loves gossip, and Bel loves cake 😂

Aw and thank you, Lix! Your comments make my day!

[Back in *checks notes* May, Writing Prompts posted: 

“What do you mean why did I do this? I did it because I love you,” your girlfriend said confusedly, as if she wasn’t clutching the severed head of another human in her hand.”

My first thought was that this was a girl who belonged in the Varia. So I ran with it. The prompt only shows up indirectly. Humor, No Pairings, T]

So Your (Ex) Girlfriend is an Ax Murderer 

(Dating is hard enough as it is. It's even worse as a member of an elite, slightly eccentric, assassination squad. Good thing there's a built in, supportive (?) Family to help pick up the pieces.)

It was the sound of crying that drew Lussuria into the common room. Contrary to popular belief, crying wasn't an unusual occurrence at Varia HQ. Oh, sometimes it was a grunt who managed to upset Boss-darling and lived to tell the tale. Most of the time it was from new recruits who were suddenly rethinking their life choices. Those tears, though, they were largely reserved for the training grounds. No, if it was coming from the common room, it could only be one person.

Lussuria peeked in, and sure enough, there she was sprawled face down on the sofa. Boy troubles.  He would bet his boa on it.

Poor thing. Lussuria felt instinctively protective of his protegé. On paper, she was a total catch. Deianira was a key member of his Sun Squad medical team for her impeccable ability to not further maim their patients - even when they deserve it! Such a delightful bedside manner~ Not to mention, she could wield a battle ax with the same meticulous precision as her scalpel. So well-rounded! And she was cute as a button to boot, if he could say so himself. Lussuria just couldn't understand why Dee’s relationships didn't work out.

No, that was a lie. He absolutely knew why. It didn't mean he didn't think it was completely fair, though. People could be so judgemental! Everyone has their own silly, little quirks, right? 

The thing with Dee was that she had so much love and passion to give but had an unfortunate habit of placing her affections with the wrong people. Her love language was also something, well, not necessarily an acquired taste but more…niche as it were. And that’s where she really got into trouble.

Lussuria often thought of Deianira as something like a cat leaving behind dead birds as gifts to their beloved human. Unfortunately, the objects of her ardor typically reacted to such gifts just as badly if not worse. It never did bode well for her love life.

It was all very sad of course. Buuuuuut. The stories she told were better than television. All maternal feelings aside, Lussuria was dying to know what happened this time.

“Dee?”  A pause in the sniffling let him know that she heard. The hand that was blindly flapped in his direction let him know he was needed. Lussuria didn't need to be asked twice as he hurried over and perched on the arm of the sofa. “I am here, sweetpea. You just tell Mamma Luss everything.” 

To the casual observer the tale of woe was largely unintelligible.  Lussuria, on the other hand, nodded along, masterfully interpreting the pillow-muffled sounds, squeaks, and wet snuffles.

“Mmhmm mmhmm, I do remember you were seeing someone new. I seem to recall you telling me you were ready to take things to the next level~ 

Uh huh. What? Oh, tissue! Sorry, hun, here you go. Take your time. 

Well certainly it's natural to want to do nice things for the ones we love! And what…um…what nice thing did you decide to do? Yes,yes as one does, of course. 

Such a clean cut! Oh ho! You never fail to impress~ You're welcome. Now who was the gentleman? He was, hmmm? Say, run that name past me one more time, would you? Got it. Thanks, love.  Then what happened?

 OH. HE. DID. NOT.”

“And then he ran awaaaaaaaayy,” Dee wailed. That her ex did so while screaming was simply understood and didn't need to be said.

“There there, love.” Lussuria passed over another tissue that was gratefully accepted. As Deianira wiped her eyes, Luss tapped his index finger against his cheek, working out a thought. “Remind me, how long had the two of you been seeing each other?”

There was a pause as Deianira blew her nose. “It was our third date,” she mumbled into her tissue.

The tapping stopped. “Dee, sweetie. I hate to point it out while you're hurting, but gifting the literal head of your lover's enemy is something you might want to save for when your relationship is a tiiiiiny bit more established.”

Deianira slowly swung her legs around as she listened and pushed herself into a seated position. She lifted her face to Lussuria. It was puffy and streaked with runny mascara. Aw, cupcake. Girl was a mess but nothing a mother couldn't love. Lussuria tenderly squooshed those cheeks between his well-manicured hands.

“...Emmemee?” Deianira asked through a fishy pout.  She blinked heavily, as if emerging from her fog of despair and pulled back out of Lussuria's hands. “Maybe not an enemy per se…” She stopped and shook her head and heaved a sigh. “ No, I know. You're right. God, I'm such an idiot! I just...You know, I really thought we had something.” Dee gestured vaguely, trying to capture the intangible before giving up and resting her cheek on Lussuria's thigh. “I thought he'd understand and see the depth of my love.”

A derisive snort from the corner of the room sent Lussuria's head whipping around.“Not one word out of you!” he scolded the culprit in hushed tones. “I mean it!”

Squalo, however, didn't look nearly as chastened as Lussuria would have liked. He didn't look chastened at all. “Please,” scoffed Captain Sensitivity. Oh, his entire manner was so annoyingly unrepentant. “This is hardly news. She goes through a breakup like every oth-”

Lussuria's scandalized gasp cut him off. “Honestly! Where is your heart?”

“Heh. Funny story about that...HEEEY!” Squalo was forced to duck as Lussuria chucked a decorative pillow at his head.

“That's not what I meant, and you know it.”

Squalo sneered in silent response before shifting focus back to his laptop. That was the goal at any rate, which considering the other occupants of the room was easier said than done. Yes, the situation was annoying. Yes, he could leave, but he was here first, dammit. It was the principle of the thing.

He sighed heavily through his nose when he heard Luss try to subtly clear his throat at him but otherwise Squalo refused to engage. 

Then came the stage whispers.

“Squ-chan…. 

Squ?…

Squ…Squ…Squ…

Squaaaaaloooo!”

“WHAT?!”

He watched Luss out of the corner of his eye making frantic shushing signs and pointing to the lacrimose lump on the sofa. As if he could possibly disturb let alone offend her. Squalo leveled an “are you kidding me” look at his colleague.  Deianira wouldn't notice if a herd of rhinoceros suddenly barrelled into the common room and started yodeling. She was barely into Stage Two of the recovery process, meaning she was now sitting upright, staring into the middle distance, and clutching her ax to her chest like it was the world's deadliest comfort toy. Virtually nothing existed outside of her bubble right now.

Lussuria pursed his lips at him and adjusted his sunglasses before signing <I need you to look something up.>

<Look what up?> Squalo knew, of course, but he wasn't going to make it easy.

 Lussuria knew he knew too and gave an impatient huff. He pointed at Deianira, mimed having his chopped off, and signed the poor bastard's name.

<Fuck off I'm busy.> Another pillow came sailing over with great force. This time it connected. The resulting “VOOII!” was positively balm for Lussuria’s exasperated soul. That's right, Squ. Boss wasn't the only one with a pair of guns. Luss daintily flicked a lock of hair back in place and raised an eyebrow.

<Look up the name, dear. If you please.>

<FINE!> Squalo grumbled to himself about it, but he did do as asked. A moment later, he signed back an affirmative. The headless one was indeed in their system. Apparently, someone else had wanted him dead.

Lussuria delightedly clapped the tips of his fingers together. Goody. That should make cleanup a bit easier this time around. He turned his attention back to Deianira and began dabbing at her face with a tissue.

“Dee? Dee~ee,” Lussuria sang, trying to pull her attention back to the present. “Now why don't you come with me? I've got a beautiful cake cooling in the kitchen that is begging for some decadent chocolate frosting. That might be just the thing to make today a bit brighter!”

Deianira’s eyelids fluttered and she gave a small smile. Feeling encouraged, Lussuria pressed on.

“Aaand~ We'll chat about whether we can't just bill this ungrateful ex for your beautiful handiwork.” This time Dee giggled.

If one didn't know any better, that giggle could easily be classified as “cute”. Squalo did know better and grimaced at the sound. He turned his attention back to the sofa. 

Lussuria was cooing over Deianira’s change in mood. Deianira was. Well. Deianira’s eyes had gone unnaturally wide with interest, her pupils fully dilated. The corner of her smile twitched slightly as she took in Lussuria’s suggestion.

Levi dubbed this particular look of hers “creepy”. While Squalo wouldn't admit out loud to siding with Levi about anything, he was inclined to agree. When Deianira got like this, Squalo half expected her to climb into a window and start making clicking noises at the birds outside.

“I…might have some additional ideas of my own to make sure he pays,” Dee coyly offered up after her moment of contemplation.

“Clever girl. I knew that you would, and I can't wait to hear them!”

“Oh Luss, you're the best! This will be such fun!”

“I know!”

Squalo shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose as the two of them clasped hands and squealed. Stage Two was evidently complete.

The promise of baked goods never failed to summon Belphegor. This instance was no exception. Bel had made his entrance while Lussuria was still coaxing Dee. Not wanting to look too eager, he flopped into an armchair and began to scroll through his phone with practiced indifference. No one in the common room was fooled, with the exception of Dee who hadn't noticed anything. Belphegor bided his time until the two suns left before he got up to pester Squalo for details.

“So what was it this time?” Bel asked as he leaned against Squalo's chair and tried to read over his shoulder. "Burned out car?"

“Severed head.” A scowl formed on Squalo's face in response to the intrusion. Without looking up, he used his right hand to change the angle of his laptop and his left to push back the brat's face. "NOW QUIT HOVERING!"

Bel was completely unperturbed as he danced out of range of the metal hand. He let out a low whistle and started making his way to the door. “Must have had it bad for this one.”

Squalo rolled his eyes. “I guess.” He turned around when he heard Bel's footsteps. “Hey, where are you going, brat?”

"Oh, now you want me to stay? Too late, peasant. You're no fun and the Prince wants cake and gossip.”

“I don't want you to stay,” Squalo scoffed. “I want you to do something.”

“I don't have to.” Belphegor gave an imperious toss of his head. “I'm a prince, not an errand boy,” he declared, but he caught the file thrown at him all the same.

“You're going to the kitchen anyway. Take that file and give it to Miss Man Destroyer.” 

Belphegor smirked, his curiosity piqued. “Shi shi shi, that's cold even for you, Fish Face. You're gonna send her out with a broken heart?” Bel made a show of clutching at pearls. Squalo huffed in annoyance.

“We've got shit to do, you know! How about you try taking an interest in that?” 

Belphagor dismissively waved off Squalo's critique and flipped through the file. “Be kinda funny if the peasant who put in the request was single, though.” He glanced over to see Squalo looking entirely too casual about opening his email. Bel's grin widened viciously. “Wait. Is he?”

Squalo mumbled something, refusing to look at him.

“He is!” Belphagor crowed. “How do you know?”

Squalo ground his teeth a minute before exploding, “FINE! I looked it up, alright!?”

Belphagor was nearly doubled over with his cackling. “Shi Shi shi, aww, I didn't know you were a matchmaker, Captain~” he wheezed.

Squalo launched one of the pillows Luss threw at him earlier straight at Belphagor’s head. Pillows being soft, however, it was not nearly as satisfying as he hoped it would be. It didn't even pause Bel's laughter.

“VOI I'M NOT!!” Squalo crossed his arms and irritably drummed his fingers. “But if she's going to keep doing this, we might as well point her in the right direction and get some damn work done around here.”

*Deianira is the name of one of Hercules's wives who accidentally killed him with a shirt. It was supposed to keep him faithful to her but was poisoned instead. Whoops. Her name can be translated as Man-Destroyer.

[little-edgar]

“that’s the problem with trouble, it always starts out as such fun...” x

[bibelots]

No I’m not going to shut up about this show x

bonus:

[emiline-northeto]

Although I just recently watched the first season of The Hour, as it came out over a decade ago I’m not going to put these thoughts under a cut. However, this is your warning that some spoilers for the first season follow.

The first season of The Hour seems thoughtfully and carefully put together on the whole, which is why the affair plot line is particularly baffling, because it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever and yet the show clearly expects us to believe it make sense, because otherwise why include it?

Bel’s only reason that I can tell, for having an affair with Hector, is that she thinks he’s movie-star attractive, and she knows he thinks she’s attractive. He’s absolutely terrible to her when they first meet - he’s smarmy and condescending and misogynistic and hits on her while being smarmy, condescending, and misogynistic. He’s also married and her employee, in a time in which she is absolutely going to suffer the most consequences professionally as well as personally if their affair is discovered. He’s a little less terrible after their first meeting, but A), that’s a very low bar, and B) he’s not that much better. He becomes more sympathetic, yes. He doesn’t particularly become a better person.

I know this show understands how to do a convincing “these people find each other attractive and sleep together” plot line because Freddie and Lix as a result of certain things that are going on, decide to sleep together. Freddie and Lix, who are both single, who are friends, who are kind to each other who like each other as people, who have a genuine affection for one another, who find each other compelling and intelligent and witty and attractive, and who are very clear about what they are and aren’t doing when they choose to sleep together. There’s a reason they do it that one time, and there’s a reason why it’s a one-time thing (this time).

I can only conclude that I must have missed something critical that would explain why Bel and Hector are having this affair, but I’ve no idea earthly what that is.

[starperchek]

Randall and Bel are so good together, but so are Randall and Lix. Damn, apparently Capaldi has chemistry with everyoneffffffff

[tiffanyachings]

the hour season 2 episode 5.....masterpiece