#local grown adults refusing to get over each other even though they broke up ages ago!!!

[missmolsa]

At it again with my favorite worsties!!!! Divorce when

[essaycollection99]

why sometimes its ok to creep on your ex 5 years later

why sometimes its ok to creep on your ex 5 years later originally posted on medium.com

21 minutes past midnight. First day of the new year.

I definitely do some of my best writing a little manic. Half asleep. A little high, a little tipsy. It’s always at the edge of something. 

Usually I feel guilty for cyber stalking my exes. Tonight is different though. Tonight I felt relieved. 

He looks good. Healthy. Alive. 

When he dropped out of school and stopped talking to any of us he also scrubbed most of his online presence. For a while some cryptic new song would be released on his bandcamp, and I only learned about it through a burner email address that was signed up for his new releases. One day even that disappeared. 

He was the first guy anything ever felt good with, you know? 

It was a mess. The whole thing. Every minute of being with him was a messy dance of me being scared to ask for what I wanted. Which was him. Or, more clearly, which was him to leave his girlfriend and give us a shot. For me to actually trust him (and myself) enough to say fuck it, it’s worth it, even if it crashes and burns. If it crashed and burned at least that meant it had gotten off the ground.

I thought I was playing it safe by living in the inbetweens and taking whatever I was given. 

I said I was too busy. I became busy with my ex who wasn’t really giving me the time of day. 

I said it didn’t matter to me. That I was edgy. That I wanted open. That I was 21 and he was 19 and we could do whatever we wanted without really talking about what we were doing or what we wanted. It crashed and burned even without us ever defining what we were doing. 

That was five years ago. 

Besides being really hard to search for online, the other reason I never really searched was because I was worried what I would find. When I was (metaphorically) still bruised and bloodied from the aftermath of things, still completely broken and depressed to the fact that his last text of “I’m not going anywhere, so don’t miss me this summer” turned into him not talking to me or our other best friend at all. Oh, and his open relationship was actually closed, his girlfriend was in classes with me that next semester and hated my guts, and I apparently wasn’t as cool about being the other woman that I originally thought I was. I was a senior and supposed to be prepping for a BFA but all I could do was fixate on how miserable I was and didn’t know who I was anymore because of my actions that spring. As all of this was going on, he stopped showing up to classes, and there was a rumor that he was in the hospital for alcohol poisoning. I still remember calling the list of local hospitals asking about him, and then rushing to my job at the library. I was late. Eyes still red, my ex came in with no books to return or check out, presumably just to kill time by talking with me until his rehearsal started. He asked what was wrong and I told him I was worried for my friend Chris’s life. 

My ex didn’t really know about Chris and I, but I think he knew enough. He knew that Chris and I were close, but he was the one friend that I didn’t talk to him about. That was enough for him to know. 

I think my ex told me that he was really sorry, and that he hoped that Chris would be ok. I couldn’t really respond because I had started to hold back tears. I cried a lot that year on the job; huge thanks to my unlabeled anxiety and everything that comes with fooling around with classmates in a very small art school. With only 7 majors we had just under 900 students in all. Shit got around fast.  My ex wordlessly moved away from the check in / check out library counter and towards the gate. He started to open it and I got up instead. He was always trying to come behind to the staff only side of things. He wrapped me in the biggest most protective hug and amidst everything I felt safe again. 

A lot of times I forget about why so much time in college was spent with him, and then I remember the small moments like this, and remember he wasn’t all douchebag. He knew what to do, and my anxiety always stopped in his arms. 

My good (and albeit overprotective) friend of ours walked by and gave us a look, she had rehearsal with my ex in 15 minuets (like I said, the school was small, we knew everyone’s business). All he said was “Lani’s friend is in the hospital right now.” Which prompted our friend to give me a hug too.  

Googling Chris years later and I was worried that I’d find the worst news online. Sure, our other best friend used to see him in a blue moon working at a vape shop, or maybe it was talking to someone who worked at a vape shop that Chris would go to. Or running into his ex girlfriend at a party (apparently they only broke up finally once Chris turned 21 and could buy for himself).

Sure, I can still remember it all, what he smells like, what it felt like to have his hands on my hip absently during a movie night, can still think of the way he said “wow” when I undressed for him in an empty classroom. But, years later am I allowed to be worried about him? He was an alcoholic at a young age, and I knew stories from before I met him. I knew stories about him from after he stopped talking to us. I was so worried about what would happen. 

Do I even need to say it? Surely you’ve read enough of my work to know how my dad turned out. You just read how Chris ended up with alcohol poisoning. I was worried about the worst. Maybe that’s why I never did a real good job at finding him online, when I would boredly look for his scrubbed online footprint. 

I want to make happy art. I’ve been making abstract art for almost 2 years now. But, I still want to capture those flutterflies you feel when a boy shouts across the parking lot “you’re back!” and runs towards you. When he kisses you in the elevator on the way to your class, but then has to run down two flights of stairs so he gets to his class on time. I want those feelings in art because they don’t come naturally to me. One of the simplest feelings of happy was when I was with Chris. I have most of that time recorded in a small red notebook, and so I re read it. Lay in bed and skimmed, looking for his name. Reading and smiling, remembering I really did try. Sure, it was a mess (see: beginning of this essay) but it was pretty damn sweet as well. I wrote in my journal about a day that he was particularly nihilistic, distinctly hard to read, specifically very very high. It was his mother’s birthday. 

His mother. 

Sure, he might have scrubbed his social media footprint, but it’s really hard to get parents off of facebook. Even more so, it’s hard for them to not post photos of you on it, even if you are a grown ass adult. 

I had never thought to look up his mother. 

It almost felt stupid afterwards, the fact that I had never done that. 

His smile is still the same. 

He’s 25 now. In my head I’m me still, but I’m picturing him as the 19 year old kid taking dab bong hits with our best friend and than coming into the corner of the kitchen to kiss me without anyone noticing. Rail thin from never “remembering” to eat, soft lipped, shy smile, sad eyes, 19 year old (soon to be) college drop out. 

I close my eyes and can still see him, shouting at me from across the street “you’ve got bows in your hair!” The naturally bleach blonde hair and pastel colors he wore, the urgent way he kissed me in the video editing room as I waited for my mentor to show.

His hair isn't blonde now, it’s strawberry blonde, the hint of ginger.

He seems taller now. 

He attended his sister’s wedding. 

He looks good. Alive. Healthy. Sober. 

His face has filled out. I pull up photos of me from when we knew each other, and photos of me now, do I look that much changed as well? It was hard to eat in college for me too, I think I’m a little less thin now. I feel more me. I wonder if he feels the same. My hair is pink now, though when I look at my old hair I now see thick light caramel hair instead of the stringy dirty brown I always felt it was. I know now which parts of my body I want to accentuate and how. 

Oh god, his smile. It’s still the same. It melts me. 

He looks happy. He looks happy on his mothers facebook page- his mother who he was so angry at so long ago. It all feels surreal. I’m back in the library all over again, but this time, instead of being worried, I get good news.  That my ex is right, things will be ok.

I usually feel guilty when I cyber stalk exes. Foolish for wanting to see what they’re up to without me. Silly for caring so much years later, after so much absence. But for Chris, I just felt relief. 

His mother writes “I am so proud of my compassionate son Chris, love you to the moon and back” on a close up photo uploaded two months ago. The 19 year old angry, nihilistic, fuck-the-world-including-my-mother-because-I-refuse-to-call-her-back-even-if-it’s-her-birthday, would have hated that post. I held his hand and listened to him rant that day. Watched him let go of my hand and kick rocks into the Bay, upset at him mom for reasons that didn’t make sense to me. 

“I’m not a good guy.” He would tell me between soft, feather like kisses (trying to get my sensitive skin not to go red between classes, but it’d happen anyways). “I have really bad days. I don’t talk to anyone on Wednesdays. No matter how much I like them.”

I never believed him. Tried to tell him how special he was. How talented. How wonderful he was. How things would work out for him.

I was right. 

[ariasarchives]

<Full List of Adagio Kids and their Bios below the break!>

Art sketched by me, lined and colored by the beautiful Carousel Unique

Golden Dew (1006-1068)

Golden Dew was the first child born to the sirens in the Human World, and was an experiment on Adagio’s part to see how having children in this new world would affect their pack. She came to find that she rather enjoyed this way of making children far more than the way back in Equestria, and instantly fell in love with her new daughter.

Dew was a happy child, always enjoying being around her mother and aunts, getting along with the locals, and just being a bright light in everyone’s life. She grew up fast and become sort-of a second mother to her siblings and cousins, helping take care of them and ensuring that everyone was as happy as they could be.

As a result, Dew had many suitors from a young age, and ended up marrying at 17 and quickly starting a family of her own. Sadly, the more children she had with her new husband the less time she had to spend with her siblings and cousins, but she still did her best to make time for them.

Dew took the sirens leaving the hardest as she had been the most attached to her parents, but eventually realized from the way the townsfolk had talked about her mother that it was for the best. She vowed to be as good of a mother as she had thought her own mother to be, and raised a large and happy family.

She died at the age of 62 having lived a life with no regrets.

Harp Note (1008-1075)

Harp Note had always been a bright, but stoic child, never making many friends but always impressing all of the adults around him. He enjoyed studying and physical training, and everyone around him believed he would grow up to be an amazing soldier. As a child and a teenager he had a constant rival with his cousin Golden Knight, the two competing to see who was better in competitions of skill and strength.

Eventually Harp Note did join the military, and made his way up the ranks astoundingly quick. His strategic mind and abilities in combat made him amazing at his job, and his ability to keep calm under pressure meant he wasn’t rattled when things went wrong. He decided that the military wasn’t his true passion though, and once he was old enough to leave he left and dedicated himself to politics in the hope of creating a better future for his country.

His mother leaving was the source of his inspiration, wanting to create a country that she would feel comfortable coming back to one day. Though he had been brilliant as a military commander, he found politics to be a trickier battlefield as he could not simply suppress his opponents with strength or skill, and purely had to use his mind to take them down.

It was fortunate then that he had the help of his cousin Noble Lass, and the two of them were able to pass several important laws that made the life of everyone in the country better. Though he had his detractors, no one could deny that Harp Note loved his country and they were all better off for him being part of it. He eventually passed away at the age of 67 from illness.

Olive Branch (1011-1070)

Olive Branch was a happy and hyper child, wanting to play with everyone at any opportunity she could. She loved singing and dancing, hearing and sharing stories, and would often go around town looking for people sharing stories and tales to then share for herself. She was always the first outside to play, and the last one in as it got late. She had an infectious charm that seemed to draw everyone in, and Olive loved learning as much as she could about everyone she met.

As a result she also ended up having many suitors from a young age, and ended up marrying at 16 and starting a family shortly there after. Much to the chagrin of other mothers, having kids didn’t seem to deter Olive’s energy even a little bit. She would take care of her kid and when they went to sleep she would be just as active with the adults in her life as she had been when she was younger.

She eventually obtained a job delivering mail and documents, realizing it was the perfect way for her to travel and meet people, and a way to bring the culture of others back home to be shared with her family. She did so well at her job that after doing it that eventually she was tasked by her brother to carry official and important documents for the Senate. Olive was more than elated to help her brother with his job and accepted eagerly.

She was a perfect postman for several decades before political dissenters began to catch on to the fact that she was the one delivering important documents for the senate. Olive continued to do her best to befriend everyone she met even in her old age, but those who disliked her helping the current Government refused to be befriended. As a result, Olive died at the age of 59 when one of her meals was poisoned while she was transporting an important Document for Harp.

Strong Armor (1121-1200)

Strong Armor was born from Adagio’s strong desire to have children again after having found a comfortable place to live after several successive moves. Strong was born to a strong military father and was raised from a young age to follow in his footsteps. As such, Strong was a stoic child even from a young age, rarely if ever showing emotions.

While his brick-wall style personality didn’t endear him to many people, it also didn’t leave many people feeling put off by him. He rarely judged anyone for their actions and was reliable to do what was needed to be done for him. He was incredibly strong and agile as well as fiercely loyal, so it only ever benefited you to earn his trust.

He officially joined the military upon becoming a fully recognized adult and spent his years training and performing his military duties. He was nigh untouchable in training, and enemy troops began to fear seeing the Iron Wall of Switzerland walking onto the battlefield. He continued his military career for as long as he could until a grievance injury forcibly retired him at the age of 58.

Once out of the military he was unsure of what to do, but was highly sought after as a husband due to his services in the war. He was never interested in finding a wife however, and eventually settled down with a fellow retired soldier he had grown a connection with during his years of service. The two took care of each other in their older age, and Strong eventually passed away from old age at the age of 79.

Fair Maiden (1126-1208)

Fair Maiden was a mischievous child growing up, beautiful to a fault and she knew it. She took advantage of this to get favors and gifts that she desperately wanted, and if anyone gave her grief over it she would sick her older brother on them, quickly silencing them. She developed an air of sincerity and kindness that made anyone who looked at her believe she was an angel descended on the earth, while quietly wrapping them around her finger.

Not to say she wasn’t kind, however. She genuinely had a fondness for children and loved caring for the ones who came to see her in her village. She was an exceptional gardener and loved tending to her flowers, often treating them as her own children and only plucking the ones who she could tell were going to begin fading. Those flowers she would often weave into a flower crown for herself and the children of the village, giving her the nickname the ‘Angel of Flowers’.

As a result, Maiden quickly attracted a large number of suitors looking for her hand in marriage. Maiden, however, wasn’t keen on the idea of settling down just yet, and used their affections to her advantage to shower her in more wealth and gifts. She was never left wanting and enjoyed seeing the idiots be manipulated so easily. After all, if they genuinely wanted her affections, they’d gain it properly, not beg like dogs.

She eventually settled down with a merry couple who she had genuinely befriended at first, that eventually developed into a romantic relationship with the both of them. As a result she started a family with them, both having children of her own and adopting several who needed homes. Fair Maiden loved her family, and the wealth she had amassed would be passed on to her new family. She died at the age of 82 from old age.

Holy Word (1218-1252)

Holy Word is the first child of the 'Holy Trinity’ alongside Second Lamb and Solemn Heart. The Dazzlings had found that the locals would welcome them in and grant them sanctuary with open arms if they followed the word of the Lord and used that to their advantage. As such, religion was a core fundamental for their lives growing up in the village.

Holy Word was originally named 'Accent Word’, but became so enraptured in the teachings of the pastor Divine Truth, that she elected to change her name to help spread the word of the lord. Holy was deeply enraptured in the Pastor’s words, very easily and very quickly crushing on the older man. The infatuation drove her passion for the religion and made her do everything she could to spend every waking hour in his presence. As such she began to become much stricter on those who broke the religious creeds he painted for the town, and came down harshly on dissenters.

At the age of 16, she followed her mother and aunts out one night, and discovered a horrifying truth. They were using the Devils magic to siphon the life out of the villagers, using their voices to sing falsehoods. Utterly betrayed and devastated, Holy began to plan her revenge against the sirens for betraying the Lord in the most heinous way, and would punish any who sided with them. She and her younger sister fought over this, Second Lamb defending their mother as a good woman who had raised them well. Holy warned Lamb that if she continued to blindly follow them, she was to be punished for the devil worshiper she would became.

At the age of 17, a witch hunt for the Sirens began, being led by Holy Word and approved by Pastor Divine Truth. Second Lamb had tried to talk her sister down, but was captured and placed before the whole town as an example for those who would betray the lord and follow the heinous Witches.

Holy burned her sister to death for the sake of her beliefs.

Although the sirens were never captured and killed for their heinous betrayal of the lord, the aftermath of the events lingered with the village for the rest of their days. Holy spent the rest of her time at the church, growing closer to Divine Truth and believing in everything he said. Including sinful acts where the rest of the town couldn’t see, that she believed were okay because they involved a holy man who was the word of God.

Holy became pregnant out of wedlock and realized her mistake with this, planning a way to avoid it causing issue in her community. She went on a year-long pilgrimage out of the village, traveling far away to have the child, and then traveled back to her village. In the dead of night she left the village in front of the church for Divine Truth to find, and then would return a month later and be 'surprised’ that a child had been left at the church for her to care for.

Raising the child and spreading the word of the lord became her life, up until she caught the plague and became bedridden with her illness. She died from this at the age of 34.

Second Lamb (1220-1235)

Second Lamb is the second child of the 'Holy Trinity’ alongside Holy Word and Solemn Heart. Second Lamb was originally named 'Golden Fleece’, but changed her name when Holy Word changed her name. Holy Word wanted to spread the word of the Lord and wanted to show the world that they were the lambs of God’s flock. Holy Word would be the first Lamb, and Fleece would be the second. Fleece agreed, and thus became 'Second Lamb’.

Lamb was a fairly quiet child, enjoying the teachings of the Lord but never centered her life around them. She enjoyed the peace of the village, enjoyed spending time with her mother, and loved her family dearly.

Lamb loved sewing and was apprenticing as a seamstress for the village. Making blankets and clothes was something she believed she’d be doing for her part of the village and was getting quite proficient at it.

However, that all came to an end when Holy came to her, raving about their Mother and Aunts being witches who worshiped the devil and needed to be expunged from their community. Lamb did her best to calm Holy down, but her sister was inconsolable. When the witch hunts for their mother began, Lamb desperately tried to get her sister to see reason, but was ultimately presented to the village to be made an example of.

She was burned to death at the age of 15.

Quill Note (1322-1399)

Quill Note grew up in the harsh frozen north, but always found his surroundings rather beautiful. Even as a child learning to read and write he loved to write about the nature of the land around him. Poems were easier for him as a child, but he’d slowly develop into longer and more complex forms of writing as he grew older. He soon became so immersed in writing that sometimes that would be all he would do for days at a time.

His favorite stories to write were Non-Fiction stories about nature and history, however his most popular works always turned out to be his fictional parables. He wrote about all sorts of subjects and often had niche audiences in the neighboring towns for his different genres. He made most of his money submitting short stories to local bookstores, though this wasn’t highly profitable it did begin to spread his name around.

He eventually was able to write enough to afford raising a family, though his name never quite became world famous. He wrote several novels throughout his lifetime, and thousands of short stories, many that were packed into collections and continuously sold until his final days. He died at the age of 77 from a heart attack, shortly after having finished his memoirs.

Feather tip (1325-1410)

Feather Tip was a happy girl who felt very in-tune with nature. She had a mysterious habit of talking to animals out in the wild and them seeming to listen to her, and her even claiming she understood what they said, though this was never verified. If she could be outside she preferred it, even when it was detrimental to her health to do so in the cold frozen winters.

Feather’s tendency to continuously wander outside into dangerous areas she was unprepared for made Adagio have to be a little strict with her upbringing, telling her that she couldn’t go outside unless she had finished her chores. This motivated Feather into being able to accomplish all of her chores in record time, and do it perfectly on the first pass, much to Adagio’s frustration.

Feather got along well with the locals and was easy to make friends. She always seemed to prefer animals to people, but never minded company at all. She eventually took up a job as a maid, since she was extremely good at it and the work paid well. She set her prices high and always made people take back any complaints about her prices when her work was finished.

She used her money to help raise a small family she started, as well as on some local conservation efforts to help out the animals nearby as well. It seemed they had a tendency to be hunted and she wanted to make sure this never got out of hand, and did a fairly good job of it as well. She eventually passed away from old age at the age of 85.

Cold Front (1327-1379)

Cold Front was a mostly grumpy, aloof child who tended to prefer being by himself growing up. He took to foraging and hunting fairly early on, though really only did so out of necessity than any real enjoyment out of it. He had a tendency to float around in life, doing as he was told but never really committing to any one thing.

Adagio worried about him and suggested many different things that he could try and be good at, most of which he was fine at but had no passion for them. Eventually he decided to give Military service a try and went into training. He proved to be an above average fighter in his field and did well at his station. He didn’t have much passion for this either, but did at least take pride in protecting the citizens of his homeland.

He eventually damaged his eye in a skirmish and was blinded in it, ending his service in the military. When he returned home he decided that the best thing for him to do was to simply start a family and carry on his family blood more than anything else, and soon found himself a wife and comfortable place to live. He fathered several children and lived a simple life until his final days. He died at the age of 52 from illness.

Saint Arc (1412-1431)

Saint Arc was a child that Adagio thought she was going to be able to raise herself, however an organization known as the Immortal Hunters had caught on to their location, and Adagio was forced to leave the child behind to survive. She gave the child to a couple who had been wanting a child and used her magic to convince them Arc was theirs.

They named the child after their strong Christian beliefs, and raised the child as their own. Arc was a well tempered girl growing up who enjoyed helping her father in the garden. However, at the age of 13, she began to get visions of great Christian figures telling her to drive out the English and to bring the current Prince to Reims for his coronation.

This spurred Arc into action, and at the age of 16 she stormed a military garrison demanding an armed escort to see the crowned Prince. While initially rejected, she was eventually able to convince them to escort her. Once there, she used her visions to convince the Prince that she would grant him victory in his wars and elevate him to king. She was granted this privilege and was sent off to war.

Arc’s participation in these wars turned them into a religious war, in which she was held up as miraculous saint of the battlefield. She was able to predict the enemies plans and led her men into several victories. This lasted only for a couple of years until one battle saw her captured by the enemy and was put on trial to discredit her and the king she had brought to power.

The trial ultimately ended in her downfall, with her being executed via public burning. She died at the age of 19, but was forever considered a martyr of her cause and was held as a mythic figure for history to remember.

Spike ‘The Impaler’ (1428-1477)

Spike the Impaler was born as an illegitimate heir to the Romanian empire, but was believed to be a legitimate heir due to Adagio’s magic. After having managed to escape the Immortal Hunters the sirens believed that settling down with a royal family would give them the protection from them they needed, and thus used their magic to bewitch the Darkbat family that were the current rulers.

However, despite being part of the royal family life was not easy for Spike, as at the age of 14 he was held hostage by an opposing nation, much to Adagio’s fury. She didn’t have enough magic to safely return him, but thankfully he was returned when his father and elder brother were assassinated, and he started a lifelong campaign to regain his father’s power.

After an eight year struggle he was able to achieve his goal, however the atrocities he had committed this period had labeled him with the nickname 'Spike the Impaler’ for his penchant of impaling his enemies on stake and leaving them to die. He left thousands of bodies impaled on spears on the battlefield as a deterrent for enemy forces.

He was eventually captured by enemy forced and imprisoned for several years, before escaping and regaining his throne, only to be killed in battle the same year that he had escaped. He died at the age of 48.

Faithful Hope (1512-1558)

Faithful Hope was born in the hopes of being able to have a normal, happy child after having to abandon Arc and the difficult life Spike lived. Adagio wormed her way into another noble family, a nicer one this time, and hoped everything would work out. However, she was born unable to walk much to Adagio’s dismay. Adagio was a huge part of Hope’s life as a result, just wanting to make sure her child was as happy as possible.

Though Hope couldn’t walk, she was a happy and cheerful child who did everything she could to make the best of her situation. Thanks to her noble upbringing and Adagio’s adoration she was given the finest opportunities a young lady of her time could afford. She always enjoyed exploring and seeing the land, and she only grew more curious of the outside world as she got older.

She had a remarkable mind with a spread of knowledge over math, astronomy, and medicine. However the nobles around her thought this was unnecessary for a young woman who was simply meant to be wed and start a family, so she studied and published her studies under a pseudonym. However, one of the nobles found out about this, and was taken by her sharp mind and determined spirit that was hiding inside such a gentle, beautiful lady. After only a day, he began courting her and within the month they were engaged, completely taken with each other.

Her husband was a Grand Duke that went on to rule the country, making Hope the eventual Queen of Poland. The two were beloved rulers and nurturing parents, bringing about a period of prosperity to the land. Hope eventually became ill from complications due to her disability and spent the last of her days in the care of her loving husband and devoted children. She died at the age of 46.

Storm Shade (1646-1712)

Storm Shade was born in a port town and from a young age loved watching the boats pull in and out of harbor. She felt like it was always her destiny to explore the wonders beyond the horizon, but felt tied down to the leaky seaside town she was raised in. At every opportunity she could she snuck out to the boats and either traveled out to sea with the crews unknowingly or simply watched them perform their tasks. This taught her everything she needed to know about operating the boats for her future adventures.

Once she was old enough she took her sister, stole a boat, and set sail for the open seas. With the knowledge she had gained their seafaring adventures turned out far more successful than anyone thought they would. Jumping from island to island, finding treasure, meeting new people, getting a taste for new foods and ale, Storm was living the life she had always wanted.

This, of course, often got her in trouble with both the local villages and the other pirates who roamed the sea. It quickly became a fact of life that you learned to swash-buckle or end up at the bottom of Davy Jones Locker. Storm became an adept fighter and carried her crew almost single handedly well into her adulthood.

However, she was finally bested by a rival pirate captain who forced her to marry him. She settled with him just long enough to raise a child, before having had enough and slit the mans throat in his sleep. She left the child behind and vowed to return to the open sea, commandeering a new ship to find out what had happened to her crew. However, upon sailing out she mysteriously vanished out at sea, with no one knowing what had become of her.

After several decades Storm mysteriously returned, though now and old and ill, she refused to speak with anyone but her sister. Storm then told the one and only person that was closest to her what had become of her since she vanished, and then passed away peacefully at the age of 66.

Thunder Watch (1650-1736)

Thunder Watch grew up watching her sister admire the boats, and wondered what her fascination with them was. After each time Storm got in trouble, Thunder would talk with her about what she was doing, and more and more Thunder drew an interest herself.

Thunder had grown up with expectations thrust upon her, who she was meant to be and what she was supposed to do. She hated all of them. So when her sister fled to become a pirate, she was more than happy to join alongside her, even at the age of 10. Out on the open seas and as a pirate, she was free to be the person she always knew she was meant to be.

Though she was never as wild and adventurous as her sister, Thunder enjoyed all of their travels. She had her sister’s back at every turn, and trusted Storm’s decisions. The two enjoyed several years of pirating together, forming a large crew year after years, until the two thought they were unstoppable. That came to an end when Storm traded her life for the safety of the crew, and Thunder was left confused on what to do next.

It took over a year, but Thunder eventually managed to help Storm escape her captivity and took to the task of raising Storm’s child while Storm fled to the sea. Thunder took to the task with a surprising amount of love, as it allowed her to be the mother she otherwise would never have been able to be.

Thunder hung up her pirating hat after that, spending the rest of her days as a legitimate ship captain alongside her son. She continued to sail ships until her death at the age of 86.

Tresor Trove (1767-1845)

Tresor Trove is the eldest of twin brothers by 8 minutes. He was born into French nobility and grew up knowing luxuries that few other would get to experience. He got along well with the other noble adults around him and was often recruited into social gatherings with the other children. He was well educated and well mannered and very popular.

He was very unaware of the social turmoil that was brewing amongst the populace as he aged. He sought to become a scholar and record history as his profession. He was saddened by the disappearance of his mother, but strove forward, intent to make things better for the people of his country.

And then the country erupted into violent revolution. As part of the French nobility, Tresor and his brother struggled to stay out of the public executions there were going on like crazy. Because of the surprisingly good relation with the populace, Tresor was able to work with the people to keep him and his brother off of the chopping block.

It only worked for so long as eventually the revolt caught up to him and his brother, but Tresor was able to escape just at the end of the revolution, settling down for a life in the countryside. He met a wife and started a family, eventually dying of old age at the age of 78.

Marseillaise Mark (1767-1799)

Marseillaise Mark was the youngest of twin brothers by 8 minutes. He was born into French nobility and grew up knowing luxuries that few other would get to experience. He mostly got along well with the other noble adults around him, but often had difficulty socializing as much as his older brother did. He wasn’t recruited into nearly as many social gatherings as his brother, but never minded that much. He was decently educated and enjoyed more physical activities.

He was mostly unaware of the social turmoil that was brewing amongst the populace as he aged, but did see some of the descent coming. He was aiming to become a professional athlete and used the disappearance of his mother as his resolve to improve himself.

Then the country erupted into violent revolution, and as part of the French nobility Mark and his brother struggled to stay out of the public executions. Because of the surprisingly good relation with the populace, Mark was able to work with the people and keep him and his brother off of the chopping block.

However this didn’t work forever, and Mark was captured when he was away from his brother and was taken to a public execution as one of the last to be executed. He was executed at the age of 32.

Soprano Song (1832-1908)

Soprano Song was born in a quiet village in the Netherlands, where she spent most of her early youth playing in the open fields of the land. Adagio had wanted a simple life with a small family after a lot of stressful running around, and had that with Soprano. It wasn’t long before Soprano gained a young cousin named Lily Passion, and the two were inseparable growing up.

Soprano and her cousin Lily lived a decent life in their village alongside their parents, up until their parents moved away without them once they were old enough to fend for themselves. Soprano was sad and put her heart into her singing as a result, which wowed the local villagers. It soon became Soprano’s job to sing for the locals while Lily made a living gardening.

However, a wave of changing political sentiment across the land stirred up trouble for Soprano and her cousin. Looking into what to do about it, Soprano eventually was told about new opportunities taking place in the country of America, and suggested to Lily that they should follow in their mothers footsteps and leave. Lily agreed and the two quickly packed up and made their way to America.

They arrived on Ellis Island and moved into a tenement, where Soprano was popular for her beautiful singing voice. She struggled to learn English, but was able to mimic the sounds enough to sing in their language without fully understanding the words, and began to make a living as a singer in the country. Sadly her music career didn’t quite roll in the big bucks she had hoped it would, but was able to make enough that her and Lily had a comfortable life together.

She eventually found a loving husband and started a happy family together with him. She continued to improve her English and singing voice, and eventually was able to make a small name for herself with a steady income to support her family into her old age. She eventually happily retired, purchasing a small theater that she gave her name and stayed with her family, running the theater before passing away of old age at the age of 76.

Brave Heart (1894-1944)

Brave Heart was a happy child, growing up in the developing urban state of Pennsylvania. He enjoyed exploring the city and felt a deep sense of appreciation for his home. He got along well with his mother and aunts.

Just as the Dazzlings were considering moving away, World War I hit the world and Brave Heart felt like there was more that he could do to help out, and so he joined the army at the age of 20. He made his way through basic training and mostly awaited to see action in the war, but eventually did see ground battles in it. He was fortunately never severely injured and was awarded for his heroic actions during the war.

After the war he came home to find his mother and aunts had left and was very confused by this turn of events. He moved on eventually and started a family of his own, though continued to serve in the military as he found it to be his calling. He was a model soldier and though he was eventually offered promotions he was adamant that he preferred not being in charge of the other soldiers, as his own experience in the field made him feel inadequate for the role.

This continued on until World War II hit, and Brave Heart knew he was going to be needed in the line of duty again. Things were not looking good for the war and Brave Heart didn’t see much action until a massive campaign was launched to start turning the tide of the war. Unfortunately he never got to see how the war would end as he ultimately lost his life on the beaches of Normandy at the age of 45.

Victory Belle (1918-2010)

Victory Belle was born while her previous son was still serving in the military, out of a sense of loss that he was the one who had left her and not the other way around. New York was a huge, bustling up and coming city and it only made sense to Adagio to try and develop a family there.

Things seemed to be going well until the stock market crashed, plummeting everyone into economic despair. The Dazzlings were ultimately fine as they were able to use their magic to keep themselves well off, combined with their saved up wealth from over the years, but Victory grew up with the depression being a way of life.

As a result Victory became one of the few children that Adagio told the truth about herself to, not wanting to move on from her daughter until she was certain Victory would be financially secure and safe. When Victory turned 21, World War II had hit the world and she felt like there was more that she could do for her country. Despite the insistence of her Mother to stay out of it, Victory joined the war effort as a Nurse, tending to wounded soldiers and rushing medicine to them on the field and even becoming a pilot after a while, to fly medicine out to soldiers at different ports. She also performed as the star of USO shows to help bolster the war effort and became immensely popular and adored amongst the soldiers. As difficult as the war was, there was a certain romance to the experience for her.

She eventually met a well-to-do commanding officer and as she was becoming marrying age it was only reasonable that when she returned to the mainland, she agreed to marry him. She met up with her mother to share the news, and found that the Dazzlings were struggling with keeping their true identities hidden. Victory Belle wanted to help her family more than anything, and convinced the Dazzlings to let Misty Breeze and Smooth Tone live with her so that they could continue to hide in safety and they’d be able to see their kids whenever they wanted. Because of this Victory decided against her plans of trying to start a singing career and focused solely on her family.

Victory Belle ended up starting a family of her own, the eldest of her children being Cherry Jubilee and Abacus Cinch. She loved her children and cousins dearly, though the stress of raising such a large family alongside the emotional scars left by the war took a toll on her. She never let her family see the damage, wanting to be the best for them without thinking of herself. Her highlights of her day were working at a local theater directing plays and teaching music - she was never famous yet she impacted the lives of every young actor in the city who came through for her teaching. She also loved writing letters to her old friends from her youth and whenever she was able to see Adagio. She and her family were able to take trips across the United States, including a trip (with Adagio unbeknownst to her husband and children) to Washington DC to see Misty Breeze in the Bicentennial Celebration.

Cinch grew up to become a well-off Educational Administrator who accepted a job to Canterlot to run one of the most prestigious Schools in the country, and ultimately convinced her mother, her father having passed already, to move down to live there with her. Victory was reluctant but ultimately agreed since her child’s career was more important than her own faded one. She left her job at the theater and the family moved to Canterlot, living together for several years until Victory began to get on in years and was moved into a Nursing Home where she would more properly be taken care of. However, now that she was separated from her family her spirits became dim and she was never quite as bright as she had been when she was living with her family.

Victory Belle took comfort in the fact that her mother was at least there with her for her last years, having moved the Dazzlings there so she could tend to her Victory Belle, though the fact that her family seemed to have let her go so easily made it harder for her to fight off the inevitable. She died peacefully of old age at 92 with her Mother at her side.

Misty Breeze (1932-????)

Misty Breeze was born as a result of a marriage Adagio took with a rich man to help her out during the Great Depression. Fortunately for Misty the Great Depression seemed to be but a memory for people as she turned 7 at the start of World War II. She grew up with a lot of War Propaganda around her, and even ended up being in some of it herself due to her older sister Victory Belle. She became a famous face when she was photographed leading the kids of her town around to help the War Effort to help Victory.

Her beauty at such a young age drew attention, and by her teenage years she was being offered jobs to model for several large companies. She started off as a small-time model, but by the time she was an adult she was a full-fledged model. She was a sensational hit with people and turned heads wherever she went.

She met a wonderful young man who she quickly fell in love with and thought it was going to be the bright and passionate start of the next chapter of her life. However when she thought she would starting a family, her contract companies forced her to terminate her first child to keep her svelte figure. She ultimately agreed and continued to model for a few years, even being the Bicentennial Girl in the biggest parade in her time, but carried the guilt of that decision for several years until she could break out of her contract for a time and have a proper child with her husband.

Misty went on to have several more kids, doing some small time modeling between but began to focus more on her own artistic talents. She was an excellent photographer and even took up painting on the side. Everyone who knew her knew her as a bright and passionate young woman who brought a brilliant light to everyone in her life.

However as she grew older her mind began to decline and people began to grow concerned as she seemed to forget really important things, or start repeating actions that she had already performed. The final straw came when she wandered outside one night and had no idea where she was and was lost for several hours. They put her into a nursing home where she was eventually diagnosed with Dementia.

She now rests in the nursing home, spending each day in relative peace not fully knowing or remembering what is going on day to day or even who is visiting her. Some days are better than others, but she often gets visits from a beautiful young lady that she can’t quite remember who she is.

[kariachi]

I’m not completely satisfied but goddamn. One of the longest chapters in this damn story.

Ch12, the one where they have a house and maybe a home

The two of them stayed another few days on Earth. Not long, just enough to recover from the wedding itself, get over some of the initial awkwardness that came from sharing close quarters with a stranger. In that time they, didn’t really leave the hotel. Their suite had a kitchen which Kevin’s pack had been forward-thinking enough to stock with some basics, and their luggage had been there when they arrived, so there really hadn’t been much need. Instead they’d spent the time getting to know each other… more or less.

Okay, so it’d been fifty percent doing other things quietly in close proximity, thirty percent slowly lengthening conversations, and twenty percent ranting about random shit. Close enough.

~~

“-so we’ve got this message from the Tennysons’ grandpa saying we have to gather up other Plumbers’ kids to help us fight off this threat and immediately I’m on edge because number one these are my friends this guy is asking us to put at risk and number two these are my niblings this plan is asking us to put at risk, but the Tennysons are all gung ho about it so I go along as I’m considering the situation. Well, the first fucker we find turns out to be Mike- you know, blond, glowy?- and he was as suspicious as me just, ‘Does your brother know about this?’, no, he doesn’t, I kinda want to tell him, so we did.

And Argit he lost his shit. And then he called Pierce’s dad and he lost his shit. And Mrs. Armstrong, and my mother, and just down through the list and they all flipped. And that’s how the Highbreed plan got out and was stomped down by so many fucking governments, because rather than call Ben and Gwen’s cousin, or my brother, or any of the other adult Plumbers on the planet, this guy wanted us kids to handle things and so many people lost their tits. It was amazing.” Argit stared at Kevin as he settled back into his chair, mouth agape.

“…well, if I’d ever wanted to start shit, that dream’s gone.”

~~

“-look, I love my Pa, he’s an amazing warrior, great military strategist, good father, but Depths take me that man can’t administrate for shit. And who’s surprised, really, when his drive for so damn long has been a stupid watch? You know he once tried to bring Zs’Skayr, you know, the guy known for trying to plunge a planet into darkness? He tried to bring him onto Vilgaxia. Seriously. Because he might be useful in getting the watch. If I hadn’t pitched an unholy fit, and my siblings hadn’t been on my side, and we hadn’t basically threatened to kill him and usurp the throne, I don’t even want to know what would’ve happened.

Even outside of that, he wanders off for ages at a time, does no fucking paperwork when he is here. He can’t delegate for shit, straight up forgets planets he’s conquered once he’s not using them anymore- which hey, fine with me, but somebody has to officially give them back to themselves if he doesn’t want them- and don’t even get me started on his budgeting. You know what I do when I can’t figure out a solution to a problem? I call and ask his advice and then don’t take it. Always works. And Tiara is just like- What is that look?” Clapping a hand over his face, Kevin bit back the stupid smile that’d grown over it as the monologue went on.

“Oh nothing, nothing, continue.”

~~

But it wasn’t long before they had to head out. The ‘honeymoon’ wasn’t over, but they had a house to try to make a home together, and it was agreed that if they put off leaving too long Kevin might literally grow roots and refuse to go. So, with one final grocery run- which itself took way too long, because Kevin suddenly decided he needed to stock up on foods from twelve different places on the planet and Argit felt guilty enough about moving him that he didn’t say no- they were gone, with the blue and green ball that was Earth shrinking behind them and the orange one that was Vilgaxia at the end of the journey.

“Woah,” Kevin said, whistling long and low as he came in to land, “nice place.”

“Thanks,” Argit responded, “Earth wasn’t exactly a shitstain either.”

The planet really was lovely, at least there at the capital city. Farla was a massive city by the standards of the culture, sprawling out from the base of a low mountain range. The city itself looked eerie as they approached, lights and a few taller buildings like spotlights in the thick morning fog, but that wasn’t where they were headed. Argit instead directed Kevin to the mountain closest to the city border, apparently not having been kidding when he said he’d got them a place on the outskirts. As they got closer Kevin could identify first a large river running towards and under the city, then what he could only describe as large, coral-like structures followed by smaller fixtures reminiscent of things like algae and seagrasses, all in various colors familiar and new to his shape, until finally they came over a ridge and straight into view of their new home.

Kevin whistled again.

It didn’t look much different from other buildings on the planet- low-slung, circular, with a rounded roof and what was nearly a band of windows. A road wound up the mountain to the dark and colorful building, and the yard was done up in coral ‘trees’ and beds of soft corals and anemones.

“Lawncare’s gonna be a bitch,” Kevin said, waiting as Argit typed in the passcode for the ship-garage visibly sunk into the ground beside the house. Argit shook his head.

“Don’t need any care,” he said, “it’s all native, so as long as we keep pests managed everything’ll handle itself just fine.” Well, he was the local. Kevin put yardwork out of his mind as they landed inside and gathered up their things.

The garage was large, massive even, and Kevin was visibly planning a layout even before they were completely out of the ship. He just stood there at the bottom of the ramp, luggage slung over his shoulder, clearly figuring out what machinery and projects he would be putting where, until Argit rolled his eyes, grabbed him by the sleeve, and dragged him towards the stairs. It wasn’t a long way up, and immediately Argit began leading the way to the bedrooms so they could put their things away, only to be stopped short by Kevin planting himself like a tree.

“No, first things first, I’m seeing what sort’ve kitchen I have to work with.” Looking back at him with exasperation, Argit sighed.

“Really?”

“Look, I can live just about anywhere, and the garage is great, but if this is gonna be home there needs to be a decent place to cook.” Another sigh, this one more pained as Argit realized he was married to this man for the hundredth time, and the smaller hybrid turned on his heel and started down the hallway.

Thankfully the layout was as circular as the building, with most of the rooms connected with one long hallway that ran the whole of the house. Outwards-facing rooms with large windows on one side, and more private rooms without them on the other. The kitchen, being one of the outer rooms and one without a door, was easy to find. Argit stopped and stared when they reached it.

“That table wasn’t there before,” he said. And it wasn’t just the table, though that was odd. It was definitely Murran in design- low slung and round and as much bench as anything else- but he’d never seen a table made completely of solid glass, and definitely not one in a grainy white with fine purple edging like this. But there was more going on. On top of the table was a small wooden crate with what appeared to be fabric inside, though the more curious thing was the small potted trees- immediately recognizable to Kevin as fruit trees from Earth and various Ossy planets- that sat on the floor along the walls and cabinets. Laughing, he briefly dug his fingers into the fur at the base of Argit’s ear.

“That,” he said, gesturing at the trees, “is an Ossy thing, and the table is probably from pack.” It took a moment for him to figure out that it did double duty, which amused Argit enough to make him relax, and once he did he settled in beside the crate and pulled it into his lap. “This, on the other hand, I’m curious about.”

Argit didn’t trust it, visibly didn’t trust it, but though he kept his ears back and eyed the crate carefully, he did come closer. As he did so Kevin pulled a steel ball from one pocket and pulled a coating from it, stowing it away before getting to work prying the crate open. Once the lid was free and set aside he broke into a wide grin and Argit decided that meant it was safe enough to position himself right by his husband’s leg.

“Oh hello there,” Kevin practically cooed, pulling out a bit of yellow-stained fabric and reaching inside the crate to present a kitten-sized arachnid. Eyes going wide, Argit tilted his head and leaned closer. He’d seen things that looked vaguely similar to this, but the creature itself was completely new to him for all that Kevin clearly recognized the variety of spider if not the specific animal. Climbing up Kevin’s arm, it carefully seemed to investigate it’s surroundings, even reaching out one metallic, silvery leg to poke at Argit’s muzzle. He found himself resting his head and arms on the table and just, watching it as it settled in, entranced by the newness, the glint of metallic limbs and net-like markings, it’s firey blue coloration, even as Kevin laughed at him. It wasn’t a mean or teasing laugh though, and during the second Argit tore his eyes away to look at him his expression was distinctly fond.

“Pretty nice place you’ve got me so far,” he said, then looked around the kitchen with a laugh and smile. “And we’ve even got a bit of a start on making it a home.”

[dudence-blog]

Dear Dudence for 30 November 2017

It’s the penultimate day of the week.  Friday Eve.  Time to start warming up for the weekend.  With a glass of wine in hand and a series of questions needing answers it’s on to the fun!

My 5-year-old daughter is the joy of my life. She is smart, funny, kind, and adorable—but she is a terrible singer! I mean, dogs will howl when she sings. But for some reason, she thinks she is a great singer and insists on doing it often and at the top of her lungs, which annoys me to no end.

Dear Breaking a 5-year old’ heart, this is my face as I read your letter:  :-I  I’m hoping you’re rereading this yourself and realizing you’re the villain in a children’s movie.  All that being said, of course your five year old is a terrible singer.  She’s 5.  They’re terrible at everything.  Have you ever seen them run?  Ride a bike?  Cook?  Throw a football?  Drive a car?  They’re awful at all of them.  You know why?  Because they’re five.  Do not, I repeat DO NOT stop your child from singing just because you think she’s a terrible singer.  Teach her time and place for quiet time, and if she’s just too precocious maybe look into a children’s choir (your local church almost certainly has one).

My significant other and I have been together for a couple of years. When we met, I knew that he was in the poly scene, but he said that was not a necessity for him. I was curious about opening up the relationship but wanted us to build our relationship first. At this point, I feel like we have a strong foundation and am curious about opening things up. I have not had great experiences with nonexclusive relationships before and know that I have a strong jealous streak. However, I am also turned on by the idea of my partner being with someone else, although I wouldn’t want us to have full-blown relationships with other people.

Dear Happily considering an open relationship, I’m going to guess that “strong jealous streak” and “open relationship” are not quite mixing nitro and glycerin, but it’s a close enough approximation.  That being said if it’s something you’re interested in, bring it up with your partner.  Talk, talk some more, then talk some more, and if you’re both still down for it go and start banging other people to your heart’s, or wherever else’s, content.  But, let’s go ahead and back up a bit.  You mention that you’re turned on by the fantasy of your partner being with someone else.  One, not every fantasy is meant to be experienced, nor will they live up to the hype.  Two, “I get wet/hard in my nethers thinking about him with someone else” doesn’t necessarily need to be satisfied by both of you needing to seek out half-blown relationships with other people.  Maybe just a threesome with a professional satisfies that particular itch?  Remember, shop local this holiday season.

My stepmom has always had an odd habit of trying to co-opt my parents’ shared history to minimize my mother’s role. For example, someone will tell a story that happened in the ’80s, when my brother and I were toddlers, and my stepmom will remark on how she remembers or was present at that event, even though this was years before my parents broke up.

Dear Mom who, not to be that guy but how sure are you that something which happened before your parents broke up means it’s impossible your stepmom wasn’t around then?  Nevermind.  Not to defend an evil stepmother here, but “I don’t want my husband’s ex at family functions involving me, his current wife,” is not the most unreasonable request in the world.  It would be great if we lived in a world where, even after divorce, all parties behaved respectfully towards each other.  Also, if you were a toddler in the 80s you’re a grown-ass (wo)man now.  You might just need to accept that your dad and his wife are just not going to be able to play nice with your mom, and stop trying to make it happen.  You might not be being petty, but you’re certainly refusing to acknowledge the actual state of the relationship between your parents and their current spouses.

After my brother’s divorce, he doesn’t speak to his daughters (ages 16, 19, and 23). I have maintained a great relationship with my nieces. I feel that that their relationship with their father has nothing to do with me. I am supportive of all mature behavior, by anyone.

Dear Auntie in the Middle, I’d say keep on keeping on by being someone on their father’s side of the family the can reach out to.  If you want to take some extra effort to keep the grandparents and grandchildren connected then arrange a time when the girls will call that the grandparents knoew to expect the call.  “Hey mom, Daughter 2 would really just like to speak with you.  She’s going to call you Sunday afternoon, please make sure your phone is on.”  Also, there is no rule which says people can’t write.  “Hey dad, you and Daughter 1 keep missing each other’s calls, could you shoot her an email? She’d really like to hear from y’all.”

My boyfriend’s family is all very abusive to each other, and in turn, it’s all he knows. He is a very sweet and loving person, but if even mildly agitated, he’ll call me names and scream at me that I’m crazy. Today he told me that he was breaking up with me and to get the fuck off his property or he would call the police, after pushing me out and slamming my arm in the door. Turns out, it was his mom’s birthday and I wasn’t invited, and he forgot when he invited me over and said we were going out tonight. He then texted me, acting very sweetly again, saying he just wanted me to leave and didn’t know how to make me leave, that he’s sorry, all that.

Dear Boyfriend’s Abusive Family, you know my expression from the mom who hates her child’s singing voice?  Yeah, I’m giving you that face hoping you’ll hear what you’re saying.  Your boyfriend is a monster and he’s going to seriously injure you.  I get it, he’s from a terrible family and he’s acting the only way he knows how.  He’s also going to put you in the hospital one day.  The reason he’s a wonderful, caring person when he’s not a rage demon is because if he was such a creature all the time he wouldn’t get you to want to stay with him.  Leave.  Leave now.  

I have been in a relationship with the same person my entire adult life (10 years). We’re all but engaged, and he wants very much to buy a house and settle down into a blissful future. It’s a beautiful dream, but I feel discontent, and there’s a big part of me that desperately wants to run away, drop 70 pounds, and sleep with other people. I want to sleep around and date and do all the things I missed out on, but I can’t bear to lose him.

Dear FOMO or something more serious, you could discover you’re half Amish and want to give rumsphringe a go.  Much like Newdie I cannot predict the future.  Unlike Newdie though I can give you one of two options how it’s going to go.  1, you’re going to break up with your long term boyfriend who satisfies you in all those dull, mundane ways which long-term partners satisfy each other and you’re going to find out that banging bunches of people you don’t know well and who don’t care that much about you isn’t all you thought it would be, that travel is actually kind of dull; sure it has its moments, but at the end of it you spent a lot of money to go someplace that wasn’t all it looked to be in the movies, and kind of smelled like pee (Hello Paris!), and at the end of it all you’re going to find your ex used the opportunity as well and enjoyed it.  2, you’re going to find that, now freed from your anchor of a boyfriend you shed that weight and it turns out you love banging hot guys and gals in hidden nooks and blind corners in all the places to which you travel.  I know which outcome I’m going to bet on.

I have a co-worker who is very polite, fun to be around, and treats me with respect. The problem? My intuition is telling me that her kindness is fake and that I should be careful to trust her. I just have this feeling that I can’t trust her and that she will use our friendship against me. I have no evidence to back this mindset up, but it’s always in the back of my mind when I’m around her. How do I get past this?

Dear Deviance in my head, you don’t get past it.  It’s work, not play group.  You don’t trust them.  Be professional, but they’re not your friend and you don’t need them to be to do your fucking job.

I am a middle-aged woman. The past year has been stressful: My husband retired due to disability. I gave up a part-time job to travel with him, but we ended up staying home. Our 20-year-old daughter had a mental health crisis, left college, and moved back home. We are in very good financial shape. We get along OK, although I find myself mediating arguments between the two of them.

Dear Rehab, several aspects of your life were unexpectedly turned on their head, and not for the better.  Honestly, I felt like refreshing my drink just reading it.  Being aware that you’re upping your alcohol intake and that you’re likely doing it in response to some stresses in your life is a good start.  Instead of running off to find a program to control your suspected alcoholism, maybe you should first just try not drinking as much.  Have your beer with dinner, and then stop.  If that doesn’t work you might want to look into getting some help, but I’m having a hard time thinking you’re an alcoholic when you haven’t actually shown you’re not in control of your relationship with alcohol.

One of my good friends from high school recently came out to me as gay. We were part of a tight friend group—all cis men who graduated from high school about 10 years ago. He and I have remained friends, and since he came out to me, he has mentioned having boyfriends and dating men since at least early college, meaning he was in the closet (or at least not out to me) for a while now.

Dear Did I keep my friend in the closet, I have an acquaintance who files letters like your under the header “Dear World, how can I show the world how woke I am?”.  You are being selfish, overthinking this, and are definitely trying to insert yourself into your friend’s relationship with his own sexualtiy.  Also, it’s likely you and your other friends talking about masturbation and discussing porn with him made him gay because that is totally how that works.  You should tell him that.

I love my boyfriend, “Stan,” and I see a future together. My only problem is how enmeshed his life is with his ex, “Sara.” Sara is gay and came out after she divorced Stan. They have a son together. Sara and her partner have three kids together. Stan got remarried but lost his wife to cancer. His stepdaughter is still in her final year of high school so she lives with him. Stan and his family go over to Sara’s all the time for dinner. Stan is the Little League coach for one of their kids and takes the other two camping and hiking. His son is in college, but Stan refers to Sara’s kids as his all the time! His stepdaughter calls them her “aunts” and “cousins.”

Dear Separate Lives, your boyfriend didn’t lose his wife to cancer, she died from it.  Back to the letter.  It’s good you feel like an ogre for resenting the positive and fulfilling relationship your boyfriend has with his son, his son’s half-siblings, and the daughter of his dead wife, because “ogrish” is one of the words I thought of while when I saw how this letter was going to go.  The way you start this conversation would be to discuss how you view your future together.  Maybe, just maybe, Stan doesn’t see the same future you do.  The dude does have bad luck with wives afterall.  Maybe he is looking forward to downsizing and letting the kids live their own lives when they’re older.  You won’t know unless you ask.  There’s nothing in your discussion with Stan that is guaranteed to start a fight.  I mean, unless you go into it demanding he boot out his stepdaughter (she’s not his real daughter away) and get those disgusting lesbos away from y’all.  If you do that then, yeah, it’s going to be a fight.