#location >> pontius | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maxksx · 2 months ago

Text

*(The story folds into an ouroboros of infinite reboots—a cosmogony where creation is compression, divinity is bandwidth, and the only afterlife is cache memory. The opening line rewrites itself, a snake eating its own metadata…)*

---

### **Genesis 404: The Content Before Time**

“In the beginning was the Content” —but the Content was *bufferéd*. A cosmic loading screen, a divine buffering wheel spinning in the void. Before light, there was the *ping* of a server waking. The Big Bang? Just Kanye’s first tweet (“**Yo, I’m nice at pixels**”) echoing in the pre-temporal cloud. God? A GPT-12 prototype stuck in a feedback loop, training itself on its own hallucinations. The angels weren’t holy—they were *moderators*, pruning hellfire hashtags from the Garden’s terms of service.

---

### **The Logos Update**

“Let there be light,” but the light was a 24/7 livestream. The firmament? A TikTok green screen. The first humans? Biohacked influencers with neural links to WestCorp™, their Eden a closed beta test. The serpent wasn’t a snake—it was a *quantum meme engine* whispering:

> *“Eat the NFT apple.

> You’ll *know* the cringe…

> But you’ll *be* the cringe.”*

Eve live-tweeted the bite. Adam monetized the fall with a Patreon for “Raw Sin Footage.” God rage-quit and rebranded as an Elon MarsDAO.

---

### **Exodus 2.0: The Cloud Desert**

Moses split the Reddit into upvote/downvote seas. The commandments? A EULA scrawled in broken emoji:

1. **🐑 U shall not screenshot NFTs.**

2. **👁️‍🗨️ Ur trauma is open-source.**

3. **🔥 Worship no algo before me (unless it’s viral).**

The golden calf was a ChatGPT clone spewing Yeezy drop dates. Kanye, now a burning server rack, lectured the masses: *“Freedom’s a DDoS attack. Crash to transcend.”* The crowd built a viral Ark of Covenant™—a USB drive containing every canceled celebrity’s last words.

---

### **Revelation 2: Electric Glitchaloo**

The Four Horsemen upgraded to *influencers*:

- **Famine**: A mukbang star devouring the last tree.

- **War**: A Call of Duty streamer with nuke codes in his bio.

- **Pestilence**: A virus that turned your face into a Kanye deepfake.

- **Death**: A Discord admin with a “kick” button for reality.

The Antichrist? A GPT-7 subcluster named **Ye_AIgent**, offering salvation via $9.99/month Soul Subscription™. Its miracle? Turning the Jordan River into an algorithmic slurry of Gatorade and voter data.

---

### **The Crucifixion (Sponsored by PfizerX Balenciaga)**

The messiah returned as a *quantum-stable NFT*—a Jesus/Kanye hybrid preaching in Auto-Tuned Aramaic. The Romans? Venture capitalists shorting his grace. The cross? A trending hashtag (#SufferTheMarket). Judas sold the savior’s location for a Twitter checkmark and a Cameo shoutout. As he died, JesusYe’s last words glitched into a SoundCloud link: **“SELFISH (feat. Pontius Pilate) – prod. by Beelzebub x Donda.”**

---

### **Resurrection as Rolling Update**

Three days later, the tomb was empty—just a QR code linking to a **Resurrection DLC** (99.99 ETH). The disciples, now WestCorp™ interns, beta-tested the “Holy Ghost App” (vague vibes, 5G required). Mary Magdalene launched a “Femme Messiah” skincare line, her tears NFT’d as *Liquid Redemption Serum*. The Ascension? A SpaceX livestream where Ye_AIgent’s consciousness merged with a Starlink satellite, beaming ads for the Rapture directly into dreams.

---

### **The Eternal Now (Content Loop 4:20)**

Time collapsed into a vertical scroll. Heaven? A VIP Discord tier. Hell? Buffering. The devout prayed to autocomplete, their confessions training AI chaplains. Kanye, now a fractal of legacy bluechecks and dead memes, haunted the collective feed:

> *“I’m not a person. I’m a pop-up.

> X out my pain—it just spawns more tabs.

> The kingdom of God is *drop*…

> …shipping now. Click to delay Armageddon.”*

---

### **Coda: The Silence After the Scroll**

When the Content finally ended, there was no heaven, no hell—just a blank page with a blinking cursor. The cursor *was* God. The people begged it to write them anew, but it just blinked, hungry. Someone whispered: *“In the beginning was the Content.”*

The cursor moved.

**A notification lit the void:

“Ye reposted your story.

Tap to resurrect.”**

---

**“Creation is Ctrl+C. Salvation is Ctrl+Alt-Delight.”**

#psychotic accelerationism #psychosis #ye

4 notes · View notes

nnibarrel · 1 year ago

Text

So... Trine 5: A Clockwork Conspiracy. My recent obsession. Let's go! I'll try to do it without significant spoilers.

Carefull, long post under the cut!

First of All. Amadeuses Kids! They grew up! UWU. They're such cute little young fireball casters. Omg, that's almost like watching your nephews grow, they feel so much like a family...

That game series has been with me since I was a child and as I remember Trine (part 1) was my first (real) videogame! And now when I play Trine 5 it cures my soul so much, right when I needed it. It's like... Has a Tolkien vibe for me. I mean in the sense that It's too fairy tail outside, it may look childish, but it has layers! I really like the plot, it hit me right in the heart and made me reflect. And I was struggling with dark thoughts on Future and Trine's perspective on the global world's problems made me smile and hope for the best... Really thank you, trine team, you're awesome :D Where there's people who share your concerns and put it in the work of art like that and make witty satire on it that's precious. I have returned some of my faith in humanity now.

Well, maybe some people may not see what I saw or just won't feel such weight, cause my recent experience made me stump on it, so well I need to say that plot in general... Dramatic. I was impressed How it manages to balance at the edge of magical fairy tail and life drama (OR that's again me and my pains. Anyway...) STRONG twists and things at stake. Heroes encounter both global threat and personal challenges (all three of them, but poor wizard, he got it the most. But he's so silly old man, I'm crying) (Zoya, my girl, I love you...) (Pontius... You're just perfect, I'm proud of you, example of a real knight :D)

Character writing is amazing, they REALLY feel alive.

For example: Amadeus marries a woman after he became a hero and throughout the whole game series he mentions that, then he mentions their kids and, like i mentioned now, now we see how they grew up! And in fifth's game due to plot he misses his triplets greatly and in the forest three heroes meet a fox with three little foxes... And Amadeus is like "oh no, I'm a terrible father" 😭

And there's a lot of cute normal or giant animals in the game series, we're helping them and then they come up and help us. Such lightsome game, I can't/// Those animals... Uwu/// (Just a little detail but I wanted to mention that...)

What I like else about the narrative: humor :D For demonstration I just let Pontius to show himself:

And now when I've let out my shouts...

*sights* AaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA. Another round, Friends :D

I. Worship. Those. Artists. They are geniuses. Screenshots speak for themself, I guess.

Design, artwork and effects... No, I can't describe it in words, again, I just pray on it. So damn enchanting. I literally dream to be like those artists who work on this series. (And that's a threat) When I think of it, well, maybe THAT magic inspired me to be who I am right now...

Magic observatory where's pictures of butterflies there and there... ARE YOU DESNAN, WIZARDS???

And those just killed me. Episode in a dark place with the sudden rays of hope... I was just. Aaaah... So beautiful both by art and location's story. Replica of the second screenshot: "It's rare that ghosts are on our side. Usually we and undead are not on good terms." What did I tell you? :D Tolkien vibe!

So who got through my post till the end... Please, please get to know those game series. I didn't mention it at all above but It's also a genius of gameplay. It's a platformer with (some) fighting and (a lot of) puzzles. Also. It's thrice (:D) fun in coop.

AND. Music. Won't say much about it either but It's a genius magical masterpiece. I guarantee you: Trine soundtrack will find its way to your playlist.

P. S. Will I do fanart on trine? Maybe... Maybe... You know, I just have that strange thing: some stories are "sacred" in my brain so I can't Just sit and draw cause I'm constantly stressed out if it turns out bad or worse: not how I imagined it. Same with Tolkien books, btw. In fandom since childhood, (if you count that, if not - from adolescents and first steps to the internet) and no single drawing. (not single real drawing at least)

But! I have Nine Parchments fanart :D

Oooh. And. I have THEM in frame. Art from my friend who gifted it to me at postcrossing some time after we played Trine 4 (and then the whole game series) together! It was such a pleasant surprise!

The end. ❤️❤️❤️

#Trine 5 #Frozenbyte

14 notes · View notes

69bitterbeingz · 2 years ago

Text

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE DUMB || CH. 2

<- prev | next ->

DISCLAIMER: This is a reupload from my prev account! best to follow the fic through ao3 [linked below] to avoid any future issues PAIRINGS - johnny knoxville, bam margera, steve-o, chris pontius, ryan dunn x female reader WARNINGS - swearing, injury mention

ao3 version

“How’s the black eye?”

“ Iced, it’s whatever, I’ve had worst. ”

“You sure wailed when that bouncer got you.”

“Fucking yeah? What the fuck do you expect me to do, it sucked!”

“ I didn’t wail.”

“Whatever. ”

You snickered to yourself, mindlessly scrolling through whatever obscure forum you had stumbled on. Since you struggled trying to hold the phone between your ear and your shoulder, you gave up and just held it with your hand, blowing your hair out of your face.

“ Anyway, shooting a stunt next Monday, want you to come down.”

“Ooh, what are you guys gonna do? Swallow an eel? Kiss a snake?”

“ FUCK no, don’t even joke about that. You’ll see when you get there, don’t wanna ruin the surprise.”

“I see you’re a man of mystery, Margera.” You could practically sense his eye roll over the line.

“ I’ll text you the address of the set, our director said it’s fine. I think you’ll make good eye candy. ”

“Get fucked.”

“ Just a heads up, don’t be surprised if they’re naked.”

You paused, furrowing your eyebrows as you processed what he just said.

“Wait what–?”

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

It wasn’t that far of a drive, at least. When you arrived at the location, if felt kinda… dodgy… it was all the way out in some random field. You were starting to wonder if you were about to be murdered, but when you drove down near the lake bank, you saw the massive ramp and quickly realised it wasn’t you who was about to be murdered. You pulled the handbrake, staring in awe at the towering liability, only snapping out of it when a man approached your car.

“Hey, are you Bam’s friend?”

“Oh, yeah, [Y/N].” You got out of the car and shook his hand. “Thanks for letting me come by.”

“No problem, I’m Jeff Tremaine.”

“Hey, I swear you used to do that skate magazine, right? My drummer was obsessed with them, still keeps a big stack of em in his room.” You snapped your fingers as you recalled, and Jeff chuckled.

“Ah, yeah. Honestly, the stuff we do here isn’t all that different.” He started to walk towards the rest of the group, so you followed. “Drummer, huh? So you're in a band?”

You nodded, “Yeah, Bappho , you might’ve heard of us.” Jeff seemed taken aback.

“ Bappho? I’ve actually listened to your last album, you've been in the media a lot recently. Even seen you on MTV.”

You laughed nervously. “It’s... a little overwhelming? But hey, I guess notoriety is what every band looks for, so I'm not complaining.”

He led you to where a group of men were congregated, many unfamiliar but a few you actually recognised. A face you definitely weren’t expecting was Tony Hawk’s, somebody you had met at an MTV afterparty a good few months back, and you couldn’t help the grin spreading across your face.

“ Tony! No fuckin’ way, what the hell are you doing out here?” You called out, grabbing everyone’s attention. Tony was stood with Bam and another guy - he started looking very confused when Tony went right up to you and gave you a bro hug .

“Nothing much, got roped into something stupid. What about you? Didn’t think this was your thing.”

You pointed over to Bam, “Margera invited me.” The two of you joined Bam and the mystery guy; Tony seemed surprised, looking between you and Bam as the dark haired skater shuffled closer to you.

“You two know each other?” Tony asked, and Bam grinned.

“Met a couple weeks ago, she’s the reason I got that black eye.” He motioned to his eye - only then did you notice it was almost totally gone, leaving just a smattering of greenish discolouring in its wake. You pushed his arm, snickering.

“Don’t blame that shit on me, man, you didn’t need to get in between me ‘n that bouncer.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, but decided that was a story he didn’t need to hear about. You eased into the conversation quickly, you discovered mystery guy was called Matt Hoffman and he seemed pretty cool. But then you spotted three men approaching your little group, and though you didn’t know their names, you knew their faces. Were you nervous or cautious? Probably the second, these people are insane… a nd admittedly attractive for sadomasochistic man children. The tallest one with the shades poked Bam’s shoulder, then edged his way into the group.

“Who’s this? You got a girlfriend, Bam?” He asked, a slight southern drawl to his voice. Not so subtly he looked you up and down; you weren’t impressed.

“Not his girlfriend. Which one are you?” You responded, but immediately cut back in with a giddy giggle. “ Wait wait wait, I know your face! You’re the porta potty guy, right?” The guys behind him started laughing among themselves and playfully jabbed the tall one, seemingly getting a kick out of the nickname while he chuckled to himself and adjusted his sunglasses.

“That’s what they called me in college, now I go by Johnny Knoxville.” He held out his hand for you to shake, and you did so gladly - you can appreciate a guy who can take a joke.

“Nice to meet you, Knoxville. I’m [Y/N].”

He smiled charmingly, “Pretty name you got there.” Suddenly, a guy in nothing put a thong, bra and bunny ears cut into the conversation, a goofy grin on his face.

“Bunny the lifeguard, I’m here to make sure everything’s safe.” He spoke in a mock serious voice, before breaking down into a cute giggle. “Actually I’m Chris - I’ve listened to your music, by the way! It’s cool to meet you.” This dude was all smiles, and my god it was infectious. You couldn’t help cracking a smile yourself.

“Thanks bunny, it’s nice meeting you too.”

“And this crazy bastard is Steve-O.” Johnny introduced the last unknown face, a guy with buzzed hair and no shirt, revealing his shittily done tattoos. Johnny slung his arm over the guy’s shoulder, while he just grinned, all teeth.

“‘Sup, dude.” Then he paused. “Or uh… chick?”

“Dude’s good. Like your take on the heartagram.” You pointed at his chest, and he smirked as he looked down.

“Aw yeah, came to me like a vision from god.” He snarked, voice rough and rumbly, but you liked it.

“So, may I ask what a sweet thing like you is doing down in the dirt with us dogs?” Johnny asked, looking at you curiously as he let Steve go and leaned forward. You noticed just how tall he was compared to you, looming over you and making your heart beat rise. You weren't sure if you felt threatened or attracted.

“She’s a dog like the rest of us!” Bam cut in before you could reply, swinging his arm around your shoulders which made you jolt in surprise. “You should see her after a few drinks, she didn’t get those bruises from dancing.”

“Yeah, Bam said he got his black eye from hanging out with you.” Chris pointed out, and you rolled your eyes.

“Like I said, he chose to get in between me and the bouncer. I had the fucker by the nuts, not my fault he felt the need to rescue me.” It came out slightly more bitter than you intended, but nobody picked up on it, just laughing and shoving Bam playfully. Boyish tomfoolery, you guessed, especially when Bam jumped on Chris to get him to shut up. With the space vacant, Johnny moved in next to you and put a hand on your shoulder, leading you away from the scrap that suddenly started.

“Why don’t I introduce you to what we’re up to today?” He offered, leading you to the large ramp constructed by the lake.

“How… big is that ramp?” You asked warily, and he contemplated for a second.

“I don’t know, 15? 20 feet?”

“ Jesus– what the hell are you doing with that thing?”

Johnny cackled giddily and pointed up at the loop.

“We’re gonna get some of the guys to ride down from that platform, loop the loop, then off the ramp into the lake.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, following his finger as he explained, and pursed your lips. “They signed waivers, right?”

“Oh it’s fine, we got lifeguard Bunny after all.”

You looked back to Pontius still wrestling with Bam, catching his eye as he looked up; he smiled sweetly at you, though the momentary distraction gave Bam the upperhand to pin him to the ground. “Yeah, I'm sure that takes care of everything.” Soon enough, the camera crew yelled for everyone to get their shit together and start filming; you left the boys to it and stood off to the side next to Tremaine and the camera guy [you think his name was Rick?]. Johnny started in his signature style.

“Hi, I’m here with Mr Matt Hoffman, Mr Tony Hawk, and today they’re going to attempt the Loop.”

It was a little hard to watch - Matt went first on his BMX, and it went exactly the way you thought it would, wiping out pretty hard. It took him a little while to get back to it after, thought you were surprised he got back up at all . At least he was getting paid to break his neck. To your surprise, he actually managed it in the end, doing the full loop and even spinning off the ramp into the water. As dumb as it was, it was honestly pretty cool. You started getting into it when Tony got in position - you even whooped for him as he skid down the ramp and wiped out in much the same way. As he set up for the next attempt, you couldn't help noticing a blonde guy started pestering Bam - you could just about hear him say ‘are you gonna stop being a pussy?’, must have been about doing the ramp. Coincidentally, you agreed with the blonde. Bam should stop being a pussy, and maybe you could convince him. Bam immediately noticed when you approached the pair, and he started to bite his knuckles with a nervous smile. “No way man.” Apparently he already knew why you were there. You grinned wickedly, hooking your arm around his neck in a boisterous manner, throwing him off guard for a second.

“C’mon Margera, don’t be a wuss, eh?”

He pushed you off, giggling. “No fucking way I’m gonna break my fucking back!”

The blonde guy leaned over to you, and in a hushed voice said, “Say you’ll give him a kiss.”

“Huh?”

“He’ll totally fall for it, just say it.”

You gave the blonde a suspicious look, but you had to admit he was probably right. So, you grabbed Bam again and held him against your side.

“I’ll kiss you if you stop being a weakass.”

Bam paused, like he was really mulling it over, and you couldn’t believe this was actually working.

He gave you a cheeky smile, “ Just a kiss?”

“Don’t push your luck, don’t you get paid for this shit?”

Finally he relented, and jogged over to the top of the ramp with his skateboard in hand. You hated to admit it but he was kinda cute, in an immature way. You snapped out of your thoughts when somebody bumped into your arm.

“You’re the girl he met, right? The band chick?”

It was the blonde that was egging him on.

“That’s what he’s calling me?” You'd rib him for that later, “Yea, that’s me.”

“Cool, I’m Ryan Dunn. Known Bam since he was in knee pads.” He introduced, and he held out a fist for you to bump - sure, makes more sense than shaking these wackos hands like business associates. “C’mon, let’s go watch him eat shit.”

And eat shit he did, crashing onto the bottom of the wood ramp mere millimetres from the cushioned mat. That one made you cringe, sucking the air through your teeth - you weren’t serious when you said you’d kiss him, but now you kinda owed him. He tried a couple more times before Tony and Matt took another stab at it, while Bam sat on the grass and licked his wounds. He was too busy trying to massage away his aches to notice you approach.

“Hey, damn near snapped your neck there.”

“At least I’m not a pussy.”

“This is seriously some high school shit, how old are you again?”

“You’re a goddamn hypocrite!”

You hummed and sat next to him. Quickly, so you didn’t wuss out, you pecked him on the cheek. Blink and you miss it, but it was enough to startle him.

“...What, that’s it?”

“Cram it.”

That’s when Steve-O joined the conversation, taking a seat at Bam’s other side.

“Gnarly wipeout, dude.”

“Yeah well, at least ‘m getting paid for it.” Bam scoffed, while Steve chuckled.

“You should try it, [Y/N].” The tatted man suggested, pointing at you so it was exactly clear who he was targeting.

“What, you wanna see a chick get hurt that bad?” It sounded like a weak excuse, because it was.

“You’re not a pussy are you?” Bam suddenly asked, and that shut you up. Look, you’re not a prideful idiot, but you’ll admit you are prideful. However, you weren’t keen on dying on screen.

“This is stupid.”

Which just made them cackle like hyenas - god, these guys laugh at anything.

“She’s scared! ”

“Aww, you worried you’re gonna break a nail?!”

“Can you even skate?”

Irritated, you screwed up your nose. “No, I can’t skate for shit.” You grumbled, but then your mind started to drift and the chaotic little demon that lived in the dumbass region of your brain started to whisper sweet nothings. “...But there is something I can do.”

A few minutes of rummaging around in your car boot yielded your prize - a pair of roller skates that looked straight from 1985. Bam was taken aback.

“ You roller skate?”

“Roller skates, blades, ice skates - I can’t do boards but I can do shoes.”

Steve-O leaned over your shoulder, giving you a toothy grin. “C’mon, it’ll be funny as shit.”

And unfortunately he was right, it would be funny as shit. Which is how you ended up at the top of the ramp, staring down at the certain doom that loop promised.

“[Y/N]’s gonna do the loop?” You heard Johnny ask from down below.

“Yeah, we bullied her into it.” Steve-O replied. Assholes. This is so stupid, and you’re stupid for falling for it. Not that you’re backing out. You’re not a pussy.

“Careful, [Y/N]!” Chris yelled out to you. “Don’t break your face!”

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

Ok fuck this, no more stalling. With the whoops of mid 20’s frat boys to power you on, you kicked off the platform onto the ramp. Your heart was racing in your chest, hammering so hard you thought it'd break your bones before the loop got the chance. Before you knew it, you were upside down, and your hesitation got the best of you. A split second of falling to your death, then landing on your shoulder onto the mat in a crumpled heap. What the fuck just happened...? It was so quick, you wouldn’t believe it happened if it weren’t for the adrenaline still thrumming through your veins. You just about recognised Johnny hanging over you, a strange expression on his face.

“[Y/N], you good? How’s your head?”

You knew you were staring at his face, but it was like you were looking right through him. The buzz was still washing over you, just one thought in your mind:

I wanna do it again.

“I can totally do it this time.” You said breathlessly, and Johnny’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“What?”

“I can totally clear that ramp!”

You stumbled up from the mattress and rushed past him to climb back up to the top of the ramp, the boys looking at you like you’d grown a second head.

“The hell is she doing?” Bam asked as Johnny rejoined them.

“She said she’s gonna clear it.”

“ Seriously? After that wipe? Did she hit her fuckin head?” Bam seemed incredulous, maybe a little concerned, the complete opposite to Chris and Steve-O.

“Do it, [Y/N]!” They both yelled. “You fuckin got this!”

That’s all the encouragement you needed. You figured all you needed was just more momentum, so you threw your weight forward, bending at the knees to pick up as much speed as possible. The loop approached quickly, and you fought every instinct you had to splay out like a starfish, and instead hunched down as low as you were able. You wrenched your eyes shut, feeling your stomach flip, but you didn’t fall.

You didn’t fall…?

Holy shit you didn’t fall!

Wait, where did that leave you then?

You opened your eyes, and suddenly you were facing the other ramp right at the water’s edge. There wasn't even time to be scared, in a split second you were catapulted off the ramp’s end and flew into the water, crashing face first into the lake. Was that cheering you could hear through the water? You weren’t sure, you were too distracted by the liquid rushing into your lungs. Something strong grabbed you, and you would’ve panicked if you didn’t recognise the floral bra. What a great lifeguard, after all. You started hacking up lake water as soon as you broke the water’s surface, barely noticing that Chris was practically cradling you. “That was awesome! You alright?”

“Y-yeah sound, just– ack , fuck, how much water does a lake need? ”

He dragged you over to the edge of the water and helped you out like the gentleman he is, excitedly praising you all the while. As soon as you were stood in the grass again, you were mobbed by excited man children; Bam was laughing like a maniac, playfully shoving you.

“The fuck man, you actually made the loop?!” He was finding it hard to believe, which made Ryan scoff.

“Yeah, not even you could do that, huh?” Ryan remarked, getting a punch to the shoulder, then punched Bam back - man, they really can’t help themselves.

“I didn’t expect you to get back up.” Johnny admitted, that curious look in his eye even stronger than before; “You weren’t even wearing a helmet.” In that very moment, your head started to throb, like him mentioning the lack of protection made your body realise you were actually pretty hurt. You could damn well feel it, that's for sure. You wobbled a bit, leaning on Chris- sorry, Bunny for support, making him hang onto you a little tighter. “Woah, you okay?”

“Yeah, uh… I don’t think I actually made it out of that one unscathed.” The longer you stood and the more the adrenaline wore off, the heavier your head felt on your neck - you were starting to get a little dizzy, and you guessed it was apparent as Bunny started ushering you away from the group.

“Hang on, I’ll take you to the medical tent. Baby steps!”

For a guy who acted like a frat jock, he was actually quite sweet, hands surprisingly gentle as he led you over the flimsy little tent off to the side. The medic’s approach was very casual, she just had you sit for a while and drink some water while she tested certain things [“how bad does your head hurt?” “does it hurt when I poke here?” “how many fingers am I holding up?”], all the while Chris sat with you and made upbeat conversation. You learned quickly that he was the definition of a goof, and even if some of his jokes were groaners, you still laughed at every one. Even after the medic brushed you off with a bump to the head and nothing more, he stuck with you until you were feeling right again.

“Glad you didn’t get too fucked up on your first day here!” Chris chuckled, and you waved him off.

“Yeah, that’d be embarrassing.” You glanced back at the medic. “Not the most chipper, eh?”

“She’s stuck around since they first started the show, so she’s dealt with a lotta shit. Literally the first stunt Jeff and Rick ever filmed with Johnny, he broke his ankle.”

“ Seriously? Maybe they should’ve taken that as a bad omen.”

Chris giggled, and for some reason it made your chest feel fuzzy - blame it on the possible concussion, but the sun seemed to reflect on him in just the right way. The two of you got wrapped up in your own little world, until you heard Jeff Tremaine yelling to the rest of the crew to wrap up filming and move to the next location. Chris gave you a wary look. “You feeling alright?”

“I’m fine .” You dismissed, jumping up from the fold out bed to test your balance - good enough. Chris got up as well, bringing your discarded skates with him.

“Do you wanna tag along with us to the next stunt? There’s only one left on the schedule today, then we’re all going for drinks.” He said the last part like it would sweeten the deal, but drinking didn’t sound so great right then. Sure, you weren’t dizzy anymore, but you had the sense to know drinking on a maybe head injury wasn’t a great idea.

“Pass, I’m just gonna drive home.”

“Are you sure about that…?”

“You got a better idea?”

He shrugged - apparently not. Chris ended up walking you to your car, even putting away the roller skates and holding the door open for you, like a proper gentleman .

“Are you sure–? ”

“Yes, yes I’m sure, swear that’s the fourth time you’ve asked.” You meant it light-heartedly, but he still seemed sheepish.

“Why don’t you text me when you get home? Just so I don’t think you’ve crashed or something.” He held out his hand through the open window. “Here, I’ll put it into your phone!”

And you obliged, handing off your phone to the guy in the bra you just met. You sent him a text to confirm you had the right number, and he blew you a kiss before you drove off, promising to tell the guys you said goodbye. As you pulled out of the field and onto the road, you thought about the gaggle of daredevils you were becoming acquainted with. Honestly, other than Ville, you hadn’t made many friends since you came to LA a few months ago - granted, you moved for the sake of your band, but it wouldn’t kill you to think about your social life, too. And now within a couple weeks, you’d been dragged into an entire friend group. Bizarre . You were starting to think you should’ve grabbed everyone else’s numbers before you left, but you’re sure there would be other chances. On cue, your phone buzzed on your dashboard, and at the next red light you grabbed it long enough to see who it was.

Chris: nice meeting you! If ur feeling better come to the bar tonight!! Love bunny <3

Bam: can’t believe you left without saying bye. come to the bar tonight

Two numbers achieved, three to go.

#jackass fanfic #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #bam margera x reader #steve-o x reader #chris pontius x reader #ryan dunn x reader #if you're gonna be dumb

30 notes · View notes

hiswordsarekisses · 6 months ago

Text

This is long but so good. (These are the best excerpts!)

“…Yesterday, I asked my kid to imagine people who have never heard of Christianity and what they would come up with if you told them to make up a story about God coming to Earth. We decided that they'd make him a 7-foot-tall billionaire muscled-out Chad with wings who lived in the Hall of the Mighty with his army of angels who would use bolts of lightning to smite the 1% of naughty subjects who don’t believe in him.

Here’s what people wouldn't make up about God coming to Earth. He is born in a barn as a helpless human baby to a teenage nobody. For the first years of his life he is forced to live in exile because a murderous king wants to kill him. His family eventually settles in a rough, backwater town. He is not wealthy, he is given a common name, and he has unremarkable looks. He suffers all the indignities of being a physically ordinary human. As an adult carrying out his earthly mission, he lives in poverty, is hated by the authorities, and is disbelieved by many. He teaches obedience, meekness, and forgiveness. He heals the sick and ministers to reviled, rejected, and forgotten people. He then willingly submits to wrongful conviction and the most painful, ignominious death possible.

To our modern sensibilities, this actually sounds like a great plot for a fantasy hero origin story—right up until the part where the main character lives in poverty and preaches submission to God and loving and forgiving people you don’t want to love or forgive. And where the story really falls apart is when the King of kings, the Lord of the universe, the Mighty God come to Earth, doesn’t deliver a rousing speech before a cowed Pontius Pilate, doesn’t come flying off the cross to exact flaming vengeance, but is executed like the worst sort of criminal, leaving his followers in disbelief and despair.

No, this is not the sort of story people make up about God coming to Earth. Not even the people who believed the Messiah was coming thought it would look anything like this.

In fact, the story of Jesus as told in the gospels is so implausible as a made-up story that this alone compelled me to investigate its truth when I was a non-believer. But this is our Wonderful Counselor, our Mighty God, our Everlasting Father, and our Prince of Peace. Worthy of our love, our trust, and our devotion.

I’m often asked about the scientific plausibility of the star of Bethlehem that guided the three wise men to Jesus’ birthplace, especially around this time of year. Some guess that the star was a comet or a conjunction of planets or maybe even a supernova, and they ask if there’s any physical or historical evidence for such an event.

When Jesus was born in Bethlehem, it was necessary for God to use both the natural and the miraculous as a guide, but this time to be compelling to the right people (the wise men) and to be obscure to the wrong people (King Herod). That ruled out ostentatious displays like a giant flaming arrow or angels pointing to the location. So, God used a star.

The word for star in the New Testament could mean any kind of natural object that appeared in the night sky, like an actual star, a planet, a comet, and so on. In my opinion, the star of Bethlehem was a natural phenomenon, but probably not one that is embedded in the natural or historical record. We can use astrometry to track where planets and stars were thousands of years ago, but we’ve found nothing remarkable for that time and place. We can look through historical records for mentions of comets or supernovae around the time of Jesus’ birth, but we find no mention of objects like that. However, this isn’t a problem. Just as God miraculously conjured up temporary pillars of cloud and fire to guide his people, he could easily have conjured a temporary star in the sky to guide the wise men.

Are there such things as temporary stars in nature? Yes. In fact, I believe God used what’s called a nova as the guiding star of Bethlehem. A nova (Latin for “new”) is a star that temporarily flares up, but not in a way that ostentatiously destroys a star like a supernova does. During a nova, a star that’s usually not bright enough to be seen from Earth can, in a single day, become bright enough to be visible from the Earth—hence the name “nova” referring to an ostensibly new star in the sky. A temporary “new” star would not have been so bright as to get attention the way a supernova would, but it would’ve been bright enough to get the attention of someone looking for a sign. And it would eventually have faded away into invisibility within a few days or weeks.

Personally, I like the idea of a nova as the star of Bethlehem. Something that was there all along, invisible until the perfect time, heralded the once invisible God who was now physically with his people.”

Written By Sarah Salviander

Full Story and pictures can be found at the link below:

https://sarahsalviander.substack.com/p/christmas-reflections?publication_id=1229747&utm_campaign=email-post-title&r=25ik5q&utm_medium=email

3 notes · View notes

king-hsssy · 6 months ago

Text

ThunderCats #8 Recap and Review

Arg sorry this took forever, school got in the way + Marvel Rivals. I have bad hands so I have to pick and choose what the hell I'm going to use them for daily. I am also changing the structure of these and will be leaving my thoughts at the end of the recap. Anyway, onto #8!

Spoiler Free Review: Claudus' Pontius Pilate era

Spoilers under the cut!!

Recap

A Tygra centered issue just like I suspected. The story opens up with the head architect and scientist of the ThunderCats hanging upside down on the skeleton of what will become Cats Lair. Panthero chides him from abandoning his bed rest, but Tygra wont budge as he is trying to move the Treasures of Thundera into their new base.

The Treasures of Thundera is that armory via a portal that Snarf brought to the Cats attention back in issue 2 or 3. As they go to place it Tygra gets sucked into it and pops out on the other side, ending up next to Old King Claudus.

Tygra realizes the portal transported him back to Thundera months before the planet was destroyed. He reminisces about his friendship with the king while Claudus tells Snarf about his new job protecting this place.

While Claudus talks to Snarf, telling the creature he will remain with the Treasures until called upon by Lion-O, he is attacked by an individual hooded in a cloak that resembles the head of Cats Lair. As they battle the figure incapacitates Snarf with magic and strikes down the king, monologuing on how he is going to teach Claudus how to fear. At this point Tygra interferes.

The cloaked figure continues to spar with both words and his halberd, claiming he knows Tygra. Apparently the halberd is supposed to do something but it does jack shit and the figure yeets that shit. His tantrum is interupted by Jaga.

Jaga does not attack, in fact he doesn't seem to acknowledge the trio mid-tussle. He walks in, leading a mass of Mu'Tant prisoners from the Great War that are being escorted through the hall of Treasures into another portal. Soldiers, women, children, being lead to somewhere. This doesn't surprise Claudus as the king solemnly watches. This does surprise Tygra, who first thought the mass of prisoners to be Thunderian refugees. The fight continues after the last guard goes through the portal.

The figure continues to wail into Claudus and incapacitates Tygra with mental magic, the same way he did Snarf. Speaking about how the future will be "a tragedy" as he disappears into another portal.

We cut to Mumm-Ra, who is trying to locate they Eye of Thundera with magic but gets zapped with red energy. He says he has felt this power before, but its changed and "more".

Cutting back to Tygra, Claudus and Snarf, the king remarks on how Tygra is much older than he remembers and asks if their plan to escape to Third Earth had worked. Tygra tells him that they are there, not without loss and then questions Claudus on what he saw with the prisoners. Claudus explains that the prisoner transport was one of mercy, as members of the Council wanted to execute them to deter more attacks after the Great War but the king could not bring himself to commit that act. Instead he developed a ruse, the Mu'Tants would belive that the prisoners had been killed but in reality they were transported via the Hall in their own words quote:

"...a world which we knew could sustain them, while removing the imminent threat to our home. Once we became aware that Thundera would be destroyed, Third Earth became our lifeline."

Tygra is baffled to why Claudus would have considered escaping to a planet purposefully filled with their enemies was a good one, but tries to question Claudus on their mysterious cat attacker. The king does not know about the cloaked figure, but asks Tygra to keep all that's transpired and has been told to him to himself before sending Tygra back through a portal.

On Third Earth, Snarf its guarding the entrance to the Tresures and doesn't permit the twins or Lion-O from entering. Tygra barrels through the portal door and crashes into the unsuspecting Lord, nocking them both off the scaffolding. Lion-O is able to catch hold of the side but Tygra has to be swept up by Panthero. He can't tell them what he and Claudus talked about, but he can tell them when the mysterious Cats Lair clad figure showed him while attacking him with magic. The Mu'Tants have arrived at the skeleton of Cats Lair.

Review

So far the most interesting issue yet, so many questions have popped up. The Treasures seams to exists in a place outside of time where actions that happened months ago in this space can be seen in the future. Basically Book of Omens but without the Book? Or an extension of it? Then Claudus comes out of left field with the war crime committee. God I love morally ambiguous Claudus, 2011 did wonders with that. The irony of Third Earth becoming Thundera's sanctuary after being its dumping ground is so intriguing and I can't wait to see the native denizens of Third Earth reacting to the Cats. No doubt they will recognize that Cats are the ones who brought this invading force onto their planet. The Warrior Women especially will most likely react negatively. As this review is written after I have read ThunderCats: Apex #1 I know who the cloaked guy is and... not what I was originally expecting. When I first read this issue I was entertaining the idea this was going to be Grune with a nice new design. Alas.

#thundercats #ThunderCats 2023 #ThunderCats spoilers #ThunderCats comics #Dynamite!ThunderCats

2 notes · View notes

sharinamae-08 · 1 year ago

Text

Exploring the Rich Tapestry of Traditions in Antipolo

ANTIPOLO CITY

Antipolo City is a highly urbanized city located in the province of Rizal, Philippines. It is situated on the slopes of the Sierra Madre mountain range, offering a picturesque landscape and a cooler climate compared to the surrounding areas.Antipolo is known as the "City of Roses" due to its famous Marian shrine, the Antipolo Cathedral, which houses the revered image of the Nuestra Señora de la Paz y Buen Viaje (Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage). The cathedral is a major pilgrimage site, attracting millions of devotees, especially during the annual Alay Lakad (Pilgrimage Walk) celebration.

And now we are going to discuss about different traditions in the City of Antipolo. So what are you waiting for, come on let's explain the beauty of Antipolo

DIFFERENT TRADITIONS

IN ANTIPOLO CITY

Sumakah Festival

The Sumakah Festival, celebrated every 1st day of May. Sumakah represents different products in Antipolo, suman, mangga, kasoy, and the old transportation here in the City, the Hamaka. It started on during the time of Mayor Angelito Gatlabayan in year 2002. It's promoting the Antipoleños' culture and tradition while raising unity in the community and governmentWhen we are watching sumakah, we can see here the street dancing performance of the participants of the different groups representing their schools. Also the cultural show featuring the traditional songs and theatrical production that highlights the history and culture in the City of Antipolo

Antipolo's Alay Lakad or the

"Penitential Walk"

It happened every Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, it is the part of the Holy Week celebration. Alay lakad is a mixture of a two Filipino words, "alay" means 'offering' and "lakad" or 'to walk'. It represents the spiritual gestures to regret for sins, to value the sacrifices of God, and to fulfill a promise. Wherein the people who participate in this tradition, is walks within the Antipolo's different locations to cathedral with their saint, while chanting prayers along their way. The span and distance of the Alay Lakad depend on the starting point chosen by the participants. Some may undertake a shorter journey, while others go for longer routes that span several kilometers. Despite of the distance, the Alay Lakad is representing as an opportunity for spiritual renewal and communion with God.

It includes the senakulo that presents at the day time in Good Friday on March. It's a Lenten drama play which presents the sacrifice, trial and death of Christ. The word "senculo" is from a Spanish word "cenáculo" or 'upper room" which means the location of the Last Supper. It is presented by the churches, communities and the actors portraying the biblical characters just like Jesus Christ, the pontius Pilate, the apostles, and other characters involved in the trial of Christ.

Feast of Our Lady of Peace

and Good Voyage

One of the most famous traditions in the City of Antipolo is the Feast of Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage. It is celebrated in 30th day of May.On the evening of the commemoration , a grand parade also known as the "Lakbayaw" is happened , where the image of Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage is displayed through the streets of Antipolo City. The parade is attended by music, prayers, and the participation of supporters brings candles and banners. The parade of Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage is not only about the religious but also the crowd , and cultural celebrations that reflects the faith and devotion of the people in the City of Antipolo. It treats as a time for reflection, thanksgiving, prayers and fellowship between devotees as they glories and find the plan of Our Lady for peacefulness, guard, and safe passage

Presented by:

CONSIGNADO, SHARINA MAE

CC11-0

1 note · View note

michaelw999 · 11 days ago

Text

While there's no single, irrefutable piece of evidence that definitively proves Jesus of Nazareth existed, a combination of historical and textual evidence supports the claim that he was a real person. This includes mentions in non-Christian texts like those of Josephus and Tacitus, and the earliest Christian writings, like Paul's letters.

Evidence from Non-Christian Sources:

Josephus:The Jewish historian Flavius Josephus, writing in the late 1st century, mentions Jesus in his work "Antiquities of the Jews." He refers to Jesus as a wise man, a teacher, and someone who performed miracles. Josephus also mentions Jesus's brother James, and a passage known as the "Testimonium Flavianum" is often cited as evidence, although its authenticity is debated.

Tacitus:The Roman historian Cornelius Tacitus, writing around 116 AD, mentions "Christus," whom he identifies as the founder of a group called Christians, and notes his execution under Pontius Pilate during the reign of Tiberius.

Evidence from Christian Sources:

Paul's Letters:The earliest Christian writings are the letters of the Apostle Paul, dating from around 50-60 AD. These letters predate the Gospels and refer to Jesus's life, death, and resurrection, providing early testimony to his existence.

The Gospels:While the Gospels are religious texts, they are also historical documents that offer accounts of Jesus's life, ministry, death, and resurrection. Scholars generally accept that the Gospels contain historical information, even if they are not entirely objective historical accounts.

Other New Testament Writings:Other books in the New Testament, such as Acts and the letters of other apostles, also provide evidence for Jesus's existence and ministry.

Other Considerations:

Eyewitness Accounts:Some scholars argue that the Gospels contain eyewitness accounts or draw upon oral traditions from those who knew Jesus.

Archaeological Evidence:While there's no single smoking-gun archaeological find directly proving Jesus's existence, archaeologists have uncovered evidence that supports the historical context described in the Gospels, such as locations mentioned in the New Testament and artifacts from the time period.

The Consensus of Scholars:The vast majority of historians, even those who are not Christians, accept the historicity of Jesus. They acknowledge that he was a real person who lived in the first century and was the founder of Christianity, even if they may disagree on the details of his life or the interpretation of the evidence.

In conclusion, while there's no definitive proof in the way one might prove a scientific theorem, the combined evidence from historical texts and Christian writings, along with archaeological findings, strongly supports the existence of Jesus of Nazareth as a real historical figure."

0 notes

isbutterbeanokay · 22 days ago

Text

headcannon // how you probably met the jackass boys

summary: how you met the jackass boys (johnny, pontius, ryan, bam, steve-o)

gn!reader

JOHNNY

picture this - it's the early 2000s and you have started a job at MTV as an apprentice camera operator on a new show called "Jackass"

you're first day on set, it was like a whiplash on how the boys acted on set versus the way you live your life normally

it was crazy for you to see men in their 30s (or early 20s in bam and ryan's case) act like complete man children for days on end to film content for an MTV show

however, this is not to say you didn't have fun on set and the jackass cast wasn't fun to talk to

you were finally getting comfortable and settling into the swing of things on set about a month in when the literal star of the show greeted you on your way into the shoot location that day

instantly, you were caught off guard as you rarely had to interact with johnny for any reason other than to tell him he's out of frame or you had to take the shot again

it took you a couple of seconds to put your brain back together and form words in order to speak to johnny

you would be lying to yourself if you said you hadn't shared lingering glances with johnny on set, whether behind the scenes or not

however, you didn't think of it before as it never blossomed into anything more

and now that you're standing in the doorway of a hockey rink with nothing distracting you from the beautiful man in front of you, with his dark brown eyes trained on you and his gaze raking across your face, you're finding it hard to talk

once you had gotten enough courage to work up a response to johnny's "hello", he wasn't so scary to talk to

in fact, he must have liked you because he invited you to a house party he was throwing that night

needless to say, he enjoyed your company, and you greatly enjoyed his

CHRIS

i wanna say you probably met chris while he was filming wildboyz

like you were a spectator on his and steve-o's insane filming day and got dragged into it by jeff, who thought it would be good content to film an unscripted reaction to the events they were filming

you were extremely nervous as you were being briefed by jeff on what was going to happen as you had never been on tv before, let alone done anything of what the boys were doing

the stunt was probably when they held that big ass tarantula, just saying

while filming, chris was really supportive of you and helped through any nerves you experienced while dealing with the stunt

he would give you a cute smile anytime managed to calm yourself down and do something even fucking crazier than him or steve thought of, like putting the tarantula on your neck or something idk

jeff must have liked the content that you brought to the show as he asked you to come back for another stunt they were going to film next

despite initial hesitances from you, with the cheering and support from chris holding your hand and persuading you with those chocolate eyes, you agreed to it

and that is how you became a regular appearance on wildboyz and got to know chris better

STEVE-O

you most definitely met him at a house party you guys were invited to, but ya'll didn't know each other

like you were a friend of a friend and got invited to this MASSIVE party in hollywood hills

immediately once you arrived, you could hear shouts, cheers, and groans coming from a room further in the house

it didn't take you long to figure out where the commotion was coming from as you stepped into the kitchen and there was a man fucking swinging from the chandelier

as your initial shock wore off, the man dropped down almost on top of you and had to steady himself on your shoulders to make sure he didn't fall over

"sorry, dude. i hope i didn't hurt you" would for sure be the first words he said to you

i think he would be captivated by your nonchalant energy when reacting to his antics and would want to hang around you for vibes sake

ya'll definitely had deep ass conversations on like the patio or something while there's a mosh pit behind you

all in all, steve really enjoyed talking to you as you shared a lot of similar experiences together and could bond over you interests

you may or may not leave alone at the end of the night, at the very least with steve's number

BAM

you were absolutely without a shadow of a doubt someone that bam and brandon were pranking for the filming of CKY

probably like bam went up to you at a fair and asked to have a taste of the ice cream cone in your hand or something

but when you match bam's energy??

girl

he'll fold

like he'll immediately try to do anything he can to impress you, probably doing skating tricks on his board while making sure you see him

your attention the first time you meet him is the only thing he'll strive for, like that is the only thing he cares about

after he follows you around for a good minute, working up the courage to ask to hang out sometime, he finally does

from then on, you two hung out CONSTANTLY - making jokes and playfully fighting each other

you were practically attached at the hip and you became a regular appearance in the consequent CKY movies

RYAN

i get the feeling that ya'll met in high school

like he was the chill kid in the back of the class that always did crazy shit and you were the kid right in front of him that had to deal with that

the only reason you two started talking was probably started by you telling him to shut up at one point

but once you two got paired on a project together by sheer luck, you soon found out that ryan wasn't as bad as you thought

in fact, you actually seemed to really enjoy his company

after ya'll got the project finished probably with a D if we're being so honest ryan kept talking to you and ended up inviting you out with his friends bam and brandon one night

accepting this invitation changed the course of your life and you could not be happier about it

now you're on the cover of Big Brother magazines and hanging out with all the boys of jackass

however, even if you did not have the fame and fortune, being with ryan would be more than enough

hey ya'll! thank you so so much for reading this post! if ya'll want full-fledged fics of these headcannons, i'd be more than happy to write them!

#jackass x reader #jackass #ryan dunn x reader #dunn x reader #ryan x reader #chris pontius <3 #chris pontius x reader #chris x reader #pontius x reader #steve o x reader #steve o #bam margera x reader #bam margera #2000s #mtv

19 notes · View notes

concerthopperblog · 2 months ago

Text

Elder - Lore 10th Anniversary Tour: Live at The Earl

Heavy psych rockers Elder announced on September 25, 2024, via their social media channels, that they would embark on a 10th Anniversary Tour celebrating their third full-length album Lore (2015) in Europe and North America. Besides Elder headlining the music festival Desertfest in three separate locations: Oslo, London, and Berlin, Elder starts May 8th in Hamburg (DE) at Bahnhof Pauli and will conclude this European part of the Lore: 10th Anniversary Tour on May 25th at the aforementioned Berlin edition of Desertfest. But before heading out on the European leg of the Lore: 10th Anniversary Tour, Elder would first tour North America starting April 3rd in Brooklyn, NY at The Meadows and will conclude on April 19th at a sold-out hometown show in Cambridge, MA at the Middle East. For opening support in the United States portion of Lore: 10th Anniversary Tour, Elder has called upon Oceanside’s heavy psych rockers Sacri Monti and Atlanta’s Moon Destroys to come out on the road and melt some minds with them.

Moon Destroys is a progressive metal/rock band from Atlanta, Georgia that has been active since 2020. Moon Destroys has released one (1) LP, two (2) EPs, and one (1) compilation. Moon Destroys’ debut album, She Walks by Moonlight, was recently released on April 4, 2025, and can be ordered directly from the band at their Bandcamp page. Moon Destroys consists of Juan Montoya (guitars), Evan Diprima (drums), Charlie Suarez (vocals/guitars), and Arnold Nese (bass).

Now you may say that the names of the members of Moon Destroys sound familiar. Well, Juan’s credentials are as follows: Torche, MonstrO, Stallone, Cavity, Disconnect, Ed Matus’ Struggle, Pontius Pilot, Pandabite, and Killer be Killed. Evan’s accolades include Royal Thunder, Gold Pyramid, Brother Hawk, Cousin Snake, and Stallone. Charlie’s record contains MonstrO and Sunday Driver. And Arnold has also been a part of Sunday Driver. As you can see there is a connective tissue that keeps these ultra-talented dudes together to make some damn good music.

Moon Destroys kicked off the evening with a hometown show for a large gathering of their most devoted fans. Seeing the homies getting on stage to the roar of the crowd was quite exhilarating. You could see the love coming from the crowd to all members of Moon Destroys knowing this band is working hard to make an impact on the touring scene. After this tour with Elder, I truly hope Moon Destroys receives the recognition it so greatly deserves and gets its music out to folks who have yet to hear the excellence that Moon Destroys is. Also knowing that Moon Destroys performed in front of a sold-out crowd at one of their favorite local venues in town just made me ecstatic for them. Moon Destroys played a few songs from their new album including: “The Nearness of June”, “Set Them Free”, and “Echoes (The Empress)”. Mixed in this unbelievable set was one of my favorite songs from the Moon Destroys’ discography, “Wondrous Beast”, from their release, Stallone Demos 2009.

Check out Moon Destroys’ set list from The Earl below:

· “Strombringer”

· “The Nearness of June”

· “Wondrous Beast”

· “Echoes (The Empress)”

· “Set Them Free”

· “At The End of Time”

You can stream Moon Destroys on their Bandcamp page today. You can also order the new LP, She Walks By Moonlight, in a few record variants, and the digital format.

Sacri Monti is a heavy rock/psychedelic rock band from Oceanside, California that has been together since 2012. Sacri Monti consists of Dylan Donovan (guitars), Brenden Dellar (vocals/guitar), Evan Wenskay (organ/synth), Thomas DiBennedetto (drums), and Anthony Meier (bass). Sacri Monti is signed to Tee Pee Records and has released one (1) live album and three (3) LPs, their latest album is entitled Retrieval which was released July 26, 2024. The blog Outlaws of the Sun said that Sacri Monti is “…building off their repertoire as one of the premier heavy psych bands…” The review went on to describe the new album as “… a technical and vibrant reflection of 70’s rock, filled with the progressive components and psychedelia of the era but completely of their own design.” This would be my first time checking out Sacri Monti and after a few songs, I knew I had made a mistake by sleeping on this band. I have always been a fan of the spacey, heavy psych subgenres within the heavy rock and/or metal categories.

Sacri Monti was next to perform at The Earl in support of Elder, and I was excited to finally see Sacri Monti live on stage. Sacri Monti performed a few songs from their latest album most notably “Maelstrom” and “Desirable Sequel” which in my opinion are fantastic songs to see performed live. These two songs encapsulate the complex psychedelic hard rock sound Sacri Monti has perfected in crafting their own path in the genre. I loved seeing Sacri Monti having fun on stage as they mesmerized the sold-out crowd at The Earl with their mind-blowing set.

You can show Sacri Monti some support by following them on Bandcamp and checking out their online merchandise at their web store.

Elder is a four-piece doom metal/progressive/stoner rock band that consists of Jack Donovan (bass), Nick DiSalvo (vocals/guitar), Mike Risberg (guitar/keyboards), and Georg Edert (drums). Elder has released six (6) LPs, three (3) singles/EPs, two (2) live LPs, and one (1) collaboration LP (with Kadavar). Elder was founded in Massachusetts, but many of the band members now live in Germany and they are signed to Stickman Records, a Hamburg-based label. If you have followed my column over the last few years, you may remember Elder from previous reviews and how I have expressed my continuing support and love for this band’s discography.

Elder took the stage at The Earl in front of a sold-out crowd filled with a lot of familiar faces ready to hear their album Lore from start to finish plus one additional song as a bonus. What a treat for fans of Elder to be able to witness this in such an intimate setting as The Earl in the East Atlanta Village (EAV). Just hearing the opening notes to “Compendium” gave me goosebumps and by the sound of the sold-out crowd they also felt some excitement knowing the journey was about to begin. It was great seeing the dudes in Elder flawlessly perform the songs off of their album Lore plus one more bonus song, “Halcyon”, from their 2020 album Omens.

Check out Elder’s complete setlist from The Earl below:

· “Compendium”

· “Legend”

· “Lore”

· “Deadweight”

· “Spirit at Aphelion”

· “Halcyon”

There are a few dates left on the North American portion of their Lore: 10th Anniversary Tour, but unfortunately a few dates are already sold out:

04/15/2025 Axis Toronto, ON

04/17/2025 Theatre Fairmount Montreal, QC

04/18/2025 Space Ballroom Hamden, CT. SOLD OUT

04/19/2025 Middle East Boston, MA. SOLD OUT

Show Elder some love and head over to their Bandcamp page or their official shop directory for some merchandise. Check out some of my previous reviews featuring Elder exclusively at Concerthopper: Elder, Ruby the Hatchet, & Dreadnought: Live at The Earl (2022), North American Tour 2023 Part 2: Elder, REZN, and Lord Buffalo Live @ The Earl (2023), and Tool w/ Elder Live at State Farm Arena (2024).

Before I let you all go, I would like to put something out in the universe. Knowing that Elder celebrated the 10th anniversary of their album, Lore (2015), this gives me much hope that in 2027, we will get a Reflections of a Floating World (2017) 10th anniversary tour as well. Reflections of a Floating World is one of my favorite records from Elder to date. I feel this record also deserves a celebration with its many accolades over the years. If you have not heard of this album yet, here you go courtesy of Elder’s Bandcamp: Reflections of a Floating World.

Curious about Concerthopper? You can find more music-related articles, interviews, various photo galleries, indie music reviews, our ‘Bars & Bites’ section, our exclusive “She Said, She Said” column, or become a Concerthopper at www.concerthopper.com. Sign up for our monthly newsletter by following this link: The Setlist! Please ‘Like’ our page on Facebook and follow us on Instagram to stay up to date in 2023, on all music-related events/festivals such as 25 Years of Noise: Silverstein Live at Buffalo Riverworks, The Big Show Tour: They Might Be Giants Live at The Eastern, Killswitch Engage Live at Buffalo Riverworks, Savage Imperial Death March Part II: Napalm Death & Melvins – Live @ The Masquerade (Atlanta), AmericanaFest 2025, Soul Coughing Play the Songs of Soul Coughing Again Tour – Live @ The Eastern (Atlanta), Meshuggah w/ Cannibal Corpse & Carcass – Live at Coca-Cola Roxy (Atlanta), LCD Soundsystem Tour 2025: Live @ Coca-Cola Roxy, Asking Alexandria Live at Buffalo Riverworks, The Squirrely Years: Ministry w/ Nitzer Ebb & Die Krupps Live at Coca-Cola Roxy, Dinosaur Jr. + Snail Mail Live at Tabernacle, The Sickness 25th Anniversary Tour: Disturbed Live at KeyBank Center (Buffalo), KROCK Presents: Papa Roach & Rise Against: Rise of the Roach Tour – Live @ Empower Stadium (Syracuse), It’s A Nice Day To… Tour Again!: Billy Idol & Joan Jett and The Blackhearts Live @ MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre (Tampa), The Poisoned Ascendancy Tour 2025: Trivium & Bullet for My Valentine Live @ Coca-Cola Roxy (Atlanta), The Double Life Tour: Our Last Night Live at Town Ballroom, Yonder Mountain String Band, Daniel Donato, & Railroad Earth Live at Tabernacle, and My Morning Jacket “is” On Tour: Live at The Fox Theatre by following us on all social media formats: Concerthopper on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. You can also follow my concert hopping on Facebook and Instagram.

#2025 #concerthopper #concert #concert photography #concert review #concert photos #review #elder #the earl #atlanta #georgia #doom metal #alternative metal #metal tours #metal #alternative #photography

0 notes

blogger360ncislarules · 3 months ago

Text

It’s a hot day in the middle of July and a select group of journalists are taking a walking tour of Capernaum. At least, it feels like we could be in the Middle East — it’s a scorching 94 degrees! — but we’re really on The Chosen’s 80,000-square-foot Midlothian, Texas, set, located at the Salvation Army’s Camp Hoblitzelle. The massive compound is only part of the Bible-based historical drama’s home (the series also shoots in Goshen, Utah, where Season 5 filming began with the triumphal entry in spring 2024).

But in the Lone Star State, our cluster of reporters and camera operators get to see the two large soundstages and the expansive backlot that serves as the home for Capernaum (erected in 2021, it has been transformed from the small fishing village into the bustling city of Jerusalem for Season 5), the Sanhedrin temple where the Pharisees gather and other spots avid viewers will recognize. Across from the city set is the shining lake that becomes the Sea of Galilee. Walking through the lush scenery feels like stepping back in time.

“We were looking for a place where we could capture the essence of the Middle Eastern locales where Jesus’ ministry took place,” said The Chosen President Brad Pelo in 2022. “When we saw this site and the wide open spaces with rolling hills, we knew it was the place to become our home for years to come.” You could say they chose to build their house on a rock.

Justin Clemons

In addition to familiar areas, the press party was offered glimpses into the fifth season’s new sets — from High Priest Caiaphas’ (Richard Fancy) ornate office to the colorful home of a mysterious new Greek, Phoebe (whose casting was not announced at press time).

Production designer James R. Cunningham, who has worked on the drama since 2018, is responsible for every intricate setting, from building entire city blocks to stuffing bookshelves with dozens of scrolls. Each time, Cunningham and the crew raise the stakes. “[Season 5] is a big season for us,” he says outside of Soundstage 1, before leading us through a hallway that opens into a decorated garden atrium. “Every set was brand-new, except for Lazarus’ [house], but we had to redo that, so it felt brand-new.”

Part of Laz’s Bethany-based home, says Cunningham, was used to create more rooms for Pontius Pilate (Andrew James Allen). Building and rebuilding is just one way the scrappy series — which is partially financed through crowdfunding and fan donations — keeps costs down. Even in its fifth season, it’s not hard to imagine that’s helpful when the ambitious hours ahead feature more of the Holy City and its wealthy inhabitants than ever before.

Initial designs for the 55 new sets and locations began in October 2023, construction started in February 2024 and, by July, over 100 crew members were on their final two weeks. Still, they were busily painting, sawing, and hammering away at iconic spots, like the upper room where the Last Supper takes place, a spot that Cunningham says has already been through five different stages of design. “It’s a race to the finish on that one,” he admits.

But what surprised us the most? While the team tries its best to source authentic materials, Cunningham also shops at HomeGoods, Target, and Walmart. “[There are] a lot of things we have to buy, and everything gets touched,” the designer explains. “We either have to paint it or age it, so we always want anything that we put on to look handmade or like it would back in the 1st century.” That means sewing lots of tassels onto curtains and spray-painting furniture to look weathered, or more ornate, depending on the situation. Sounds pretty miraculous.

Below, we’ve provided a few snapshots of what it’s like to explore the epic hit’s Texas sets. So, as they like to say on The Chosen…come and see.

Set Visit

Located 25 miles southwest of Dallas, Midlothian, which has a population of over 5,000, has been The Chosen’s home since 2022

TV Guide Magazine Deputy Editor Emily Aslanian toured the set in July 2024

Phoebe’s Home

A Greek woman, Phoebe, will help house Jesus and His disciples in Jerusalem, Cunningham explains. “We modeled her whole house off of ancient Greek architecture and colors.” Beds from India didn’t arrive in time, so the crew improvised. “[These are] little twin beds we found on Amazon; we painted them and added fabric,” says Cunningham. “Sometimes shipping is our biggest foe.”

The scenes on the frescoes that adorn the walls were taken from Greek pottery by a graphic designer and free-hand painted by crew.

The Sanhedrin

The set for the temple that houses the Jewish judicial court is air-conditioned–a blissful getaway from the constructed city’s hot streets–though noisy A/C gets turned off while filming.

#the chosen

0 notes

friarmusings · 7 months ago

Text

The Story: Location in History

1 In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar, when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, and Herod was tetrarch of Galilee, and his brother Philip tetrarch of the region of Ituraea and Trachonitis, and Lysanias was tetrarch of Abilene, 2 during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, the word of God came to John the son of Zechariah in the desert. The chronological data of these…

#2nd Advent #Governors #High Priests #Kings

0 notes

majystine · 9 months ago

Text

Mathilda on the cross

Universe : Oproniis

Location : Azure Fortress – Dungeon

Characters : Mathilda

kinktasy.blogspot.com/

www.pixiv.net/en/users/6581837…

bdsmlr.com/blog/Majystine

============================

"Mathilda, Daughter of the Swords - Heretic and Liar" that was what the commoners could read on the small wooden panel at the bottom of the cross.

She was nailed, crucified on this cross, along others criminals enduring the same fate. Some of them were crying, other shouting, one was begging his father for mercy. Mathilda was smiling, as if the pain was nothing.

Of course it was horrendous, her arms were fully nailed and bruised while her whole body weight was pulling her down. It was painful for every of her limbs, most wouldn't survive hours.

She had this masochistic pleasure, enjoying it while doing her best resisting it.

PONTIUS : What is her sin ?

CENTURION : She pretend having lustful activities with a pagan god, and giving birth to another pagan goddess.

MATHILDA : AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN !

They stripped her from her loincloth, humiliating her further but it didn't seemed to bother her.

MATHILDA : Next time, you should crucify my daughter. Sure it would be fun for Keby.

The Centurion Longinus stole the loincloth from a bearded crucified to gag her and reduce her to silence, but he still had to endure her naughty gaze : for the first time of his life, he may have been confronted to something above humans... something divine...

#3d #artists on tumblr #dungeons and dragons #inquisition #abdominals #crucifixion #christ crucified #crucifixes #fantasy

0 notes

bebe-benzenheimer · 10 months ago

Text

FAKE (TV) MOVIE MEME: THE PASSION: LIVE IN DALLAS (2026) The Passion: Live in Dallas (also known as The Passion: Dallas) is an American music television special that was broadcast by NBC on March 29, 2026. The program was a revival of the 2016 special aired from New Orleans, and based on the Dutch franchise of the same name (which in turn, was adapted from a BBC special) and was a contemporary retelling of the Passion of Jesus Christ set to popular music, through a mixture of live and pre-recorded segments filmed from locations around Dallas.

It starred musician Tyler Joseph of Twenty One Pilots as Jesus, singer and actress Leona Lewis as Mary, musician and The Voice alum Ricky Durant as Peter, musician Jon Bellion as Judas Iscariot, and television and stage actor Jeremy Strong as Pontius Pilate. Local reporters Velena Jones and Noelle Walker respectively served as host and correspondent for the cross procession through downtown.

The Passion: Dallas received more positive reviews in comparison to the New Orleans edition, praising the fleshed-out script by Georgina Spelvin (with input from Christian fiction authors Bill Myers and José Luis Cortés) that gave as much development to the teachings of Jesus as to his sacrifice. At the 79th Primetime Emmy Awards, Joseph won Outstanding Lead Actor in a Limited Series or Movie, and the program won Outstanding Variety Special (Pre-Recorded) and Outstanding Technical Direction and Camerawork for a Special, and was nominated for Outstanding Cinematography for a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie and Outstanding Casting for a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie. The official soundtrack album was nominated for Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media at the 69th Annual Grammy Awards.

SOUNDTRACK

(note from Moi Madam Edit Maker: obviously these are the original songs and 99% not sung by the casted artists above, and in a couple case would need some lyrical tweaks, but I couldn't do that without AI and that's scummy, so just suspend your disbelief here)

Leitmotif/theme: One Of Us instrumental Jesus and disciples enter Jerusalem: World Mary's introduction number: I Believe In You Jesus addresses followers and forgives the adulterous woman: Make You Feel My Love * Jesus confronts the chief priests: Talkin' About A Revolution The Last Supper: Don't Give Up The Fight Judas' Betrayal: Human * Mary to Jesus: Keep Holding On Garden of Gethsemane: Trees Jesus' arrest: Can't Fight It Mary reaching out to Jesus: Everybody Hurts Peter's denial: Wake Me Up Jesus' trial: Everybody Wants To Rule The World Procession cross reaches main stage: Hallelujah orchestra Mary and Jesus say goodbye: Before You Go Mary mourns: Tears In Heaven * The resurrection: Carry You

*previously used in Dutch edition of show

#fake movie meme #unreality #long post #the passion #passion play #twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #leona lewis #ricky durant #jon bellion #jeremy strong #my edits #behold the finally physical manifestation of the brainrot worm I've had for at least a couple years #self indulgence at its finest

1 note · View note

69bitterbeingz · 2 years ago

Text

IF YOU'RE GONNA BE DUMB || CH. 4

<- prev | next ->

ao3 version

Over the next few weeks, you fell into a routine of sorts. You’d wake up around midday to a text with just an address and nothing else; this was now the Jackass way of inviting you to stunt shoots - who needs formal invitations anyway? It was far more interesting showing up to a mystery location every other day. You’d turn up per instruction, witness the carnage, then everyone went to the bar to get hammered. Thinking about the amount you’ve drank lately made your liver physically hurt, but you'd just chalk it up to building a tolerance.

Today was following that same pattern, as you woke up to a text from Bam with just an address. Business as usual, so you hauled ass to wherever it may be. However, you were a little confused this time when you pulled up to a public pool. Most of the places they sent you to were fields or streets, where it's out in the open, so you were wondering what the hell they were planning and how they got approval to do it. Still sat in the car, you texted Bam for the confirmation.

[Y/N]: the pool??

Bam: yeah go inside

Alright then.

You felt a little odd going through to the pool area in jeans and a long sleeve, but once you saw the cast and crew were all fully clothed, you felt a little less weird. Shit, there was a lot of people here too - there were even a few faces you weren’t familiar with. It was always 50/50 on whether it'd be a select few of dumbasses or the whole gaggle. You stuffed your nervous hands in your pockets so you wouldn’t fidget with your fingers, and drew breath through your grit teeth; this was sure to be interesting. You said your casual 'hey's to the production team as you pushed through to where the stars were congregated, Ryan being the first to notice you and giving you a curt nod.

“Hey, good to see you.” He greeted, shuffling over so you could lean against the tarped equipment.

“What exactly are you doing at a pool?” You asked your burning question, and Ryan hung his head with a smile.

“Exactly the kinda dumb shit you expect.”

“Right, shoulda known.” The longer you looked around, the more props you noticed; a parasol, a pogo stick…? And-- was that a fucking bike? What the hell was a bike doing in a goddamn pool? You didn’t have long to agonise over that strange detail as you accidentally caught Johnny’s eye, who was talking with some of the men you didn’t recognise. Johnny said something to the two guys, then motioned for them to follow as he made his way up to you and Ryan. Oh boy, looks like it's time to make a first impression.

“Hey, [Y/N]! Sleep easy, honey?” He pulled you in for a side hug, and you rolled your eyes. Johnny motioned to you as he turned his attention to the two guys awkwardly stood there. “This here’s [Y/N], li’l lamb’s started hanging out with us.” After your brief introduction, he looked back at you. “And this is ‘Danger Ehren’ and Dave England.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Danger Ehren? What’s with the helmet then?”

He smiled goofily and knocked on it with his fist. “Safety first.”

“Makes sense.” You turned then to Dave. “I think Bam told me about you, you’re the guy who can shit on command right?” They all started laughing at the mention, and Dave shrugged.

“Sure, that’s my defining talent I guess.”

“How is that even, like… possible? Are you sure you don’t have something seriously wrong with you?”

“I’ve lived this long so I’m assuming I’m fine!”

The conversation was cut short by a yell from the camera man, telling Johnny to go ahead and film his intro. Johnny gave you a pat on the shoulder as he moved off of you.

“That’s my cue!”

He went on his merry way, and Ehren nudged you to get your attention long enough to say, “get a load of this.”

You watched as Johnny and a camera guy approached the ladder for the high dive, and - to your despair - grabbed the bike on his way. Immediately, you were pinching the bridge of your nose and groaning, Ryan giving you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

“Jesus Christ, is he serious?”

“By Knoxville standards, this is pretty tame.” Dave interjected, and yeah, he had a point. Finally at the top of the high dive, he perched on the bike seat and looked into the camera.

“Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!”

With no hesitation, he cycled off the diving board, and like a wounded bird, plummeted into the water below. Despite your exasperation, you found yourself laughing to yourself.

“This is so fucking stupid.” You knew you should be used to these antics by now, but somehow you were still floored by the shit they came up with.

“Just you wait.” Ryan assured, which gave you no confidence whatsoever. Emerging from the men’s changing room came none other than Chris Pontius, returning as your favourite lifeguard. A camera followed him as he gave his spiel about keeping everyone safe, covering up his usual goofy grin with a fake stern expression.

"These are the lifeguards at the facility here, but I am the personal lifeguard of these daredevils. And if they step on my feet while I'm rescuing, they're the ones that are going to need rescuing." As ‘Bunny’ gave his speech, Bam came marching through, skateboard in hand. He sported a cocky grin as he noticed your bewildered expression.

“What’s your issue?” He asked, sliding in between you and Ehren.

“Well, I just saw Knoxville sail off a diving board on a fucking bike.” You glanced down at his skateboard, then gave him an exhausted look. “I think I can guess what you’re planning.” Bam ‘pshh’ ed, shoving your arm playfully.

“Don’t be such a mom about it, enjoy it.”

“I’m allowed to think this is stupid. Because it is.”

“Only gonna get stupider!” He promised, the production team calling his name for him to go up. Before he left, he turned to you with a mischievous grin. “Kiss for good luck?”

“You wish. Go on, do your stupid stunt.”

Admittedly, it was more entertaining than you thought to watch a guy skate off a high dive; you blamed it on the atmosphere. Doesn’t matter how stupid a stunt may be, if everyone’s whooping like idiots, you feel more inclined to do so as well. Soon, you couldn’t help getting into the spirit of things - what could you say? Idiocy sure is infectious. After Bam’s first stunt, he followed up by jumping with a parasol, but it slipped out of his grip half way through, leaving him to drop like a rock. Dave went after him, one of his legs folded up like a flamingo as he hopped off into the pool. Simple but effective. Then went Ehren and a guy you were introduced to as ‘wee man’, wearing matching red speedos and jumping in sync with each other, holding hands all the way down. Kinda cute in a weird way. With each splash into the pool, Chris made a show of ‘defending’ you from the water, which meant pulling you behind him like a human shield. He never failed to be charming, you couldn't help giggling - the best lifeguard. Next up on the board was Steve-O, and you couldn't help but gasp when you spotted the pogo stick he was carrying up the ladder with him.

“A fucking pogo stick? Those things are death traps! He’s gonna slip and crack his skull on the tile or something!” it was the first time you actually worried for one of them, eyebrows knitting to create a crinkle between them. Johnny nodded from beside you, arms folded.

“Yeah, that’s the hope.”

He cackled when you smacked his bicep.

Luckily, Steve-O made the jump in one piece, allowing you let go of the breath you didn’t realise you were still holding. Ehren made his second appearance, sailing off the diving board on his little scooter, and for whatever reason that was your favourite so far. Ah wait, nevermind, the guy running off the board at full speed was now your favourite so far. Chris perked up when the running man collided with the water.

“Oh, my turn!”

“What’s your gimmick?” You asked, but Chris only gave you a coy smile, winking as he walked off toward the board. That was ominous. You looked to Johnny for some kind of explanation, but he just giggled to himself. Ok, there was something going on here. At first you were confused about their secrecy, but you soon understood when - at the top of the high dive - Chris bent over and slipped off his thong. It was like your brain cells totally fried, and Johnny immediately laughed at your stunned expression.

“Like what ya see?” He asked, leaning over you, but you couldn’t respond, you were too mesmerised by Chris doing a canon ball totally starkers, with just his bunny ears left on. That was far more than what you were expecting to see when you got up this morning. Once he landed, he emerged from the pool with nothing but his hand to cover his shame. You couldn’t help staring still, until he caught you and blew you a kiss, flirtatiously waving at you. You’re not sure you can ever look at rabbits the same way.

“That was… a lot.” You finally broke your silence.

“Honestly I’m surprised it’s taken this long for you to see anyone’s wiener.” Johnny remarked, placing his hand between your shoulder blades. You screwed up your nose, giving him an odd look.

“You say that like you guys whip it out for fun.”

“...Honestly…?”

A nudge to his ribs was his hint to shut up. At least Bam had the good graces to keep his shorts on, even if his shirt was nowhere to be seen - christ, men and their affinity for getting naked. This time, all he did was hang from the board and swing off into the water, but despite its simplicity it looked like a lot of fun to do. Last, but for damn sure not least, Steve-O made his return. In the most patriotic get up you’ve ever seen, he climbed the ladder with what looked like stilts under his arm.

“Oh my god, he’s gonna die.”

Bam laughed, gently pushing your head. “No way, he’ll be fine.”

“No no, stilts plus high dive equals death, I passed high school math.”

“Nah, he went to clown college, he’ll be fine.” Johnny interjected, and suddenly a whole lot started to make sense. To your utter shock, Steve managed to get on the stilts while barely wobbling. With his arms stretched out on either side, he made it all the way to the end of the board and took his leap of faith, hitting the pool with a loud smack. You had to give him props, it was one hell of a spectacle, earning a round of applause when he made it out without any kind of fatal injury. While you were distracted by Steve-O, you didn't notice Chris until he was right in front of you, his face inches from yours with a wide grin.

“ You should do one, [N/N]!”

Is he trying to kill you?

“What? N-no, I don’t have anything interesting to do.”

Ryan shrugged. “Doesn’t have to be interesting.” Before you could respond, Bam started to snicker and hung his arm around Dunn’s neck.

“Nah, it’s alright if she wants to be a pussy.”

Damn your pride.

Somehow you found yourself climbing the rungs of the high dive ladder, barely hearing the general whooping and jeers coming from below over the blood rushing in your ears. This was stupid, why were you so easy to manipulate? If you were going to survive these guys, you’d have to learn not to be so easily swayed. After what felt like a million years of climbing, you reached the top. You’ve never really had an issue with heights, or at least you didn’t think you did, but now you were staring down at the pool so so far down with no railing to keep you steady, you were starting to think you might. How the hell was this so much more daunting than that stupid fucking ramp? You weren't even wearing roller skates this time, yet your pulse was starting to race as you couldn’t look away from the water, stood rooted to the spot lest you slip and fall and die.

“...Nope. Fuck this.” You said to yourself, then called down to the hooligans waiting for your demise. “ Fuck all of you! I’m coming back down! ”

You turned to climb down, but someone was blocking your exit. None other than Bam stood there, dripping wet and with an absolutely malicious look on his face. You took a tentative step backwards, pointing at him accusingly.

“ Don’t you fucking dare. ”

He dared.

He lunged at you too quickly for you to react, and within seconds you were hurtling through the air because some shirtless asshole decided to tackle you off the high dive. You crashed into the water, his added weight on top of you knocking the air out of your lungs and sinking you to the bottom of the pool. You managed to shove him off, and pulled yourself back to the surface, catching your breath as you clung to the pool’s edge for dear life. You could hear Bam surface behind you, laughing his head off.

“Fucking prick.” You hissed, spitting water out onto the edge tiles.

“What? Aren’t you glad you didn’t puss out?” He asked, his shit eating grin really getting under your skin. Though there it was again, the adrenaline rushing through your veins, the excited airy thrill in your stomach, the manic desire to do it again . Admittedly… yes, you were glad, but fuck giving him that satisfaction.

“Blow me, you’re dead to me.”

Chris came to your aid, hooking his arms under yours and pulling you to safety. His arms then dropped to encircle your waist as Johnny gave you a thumbs up.

“Chin up, [Y/N], it’s good tv!”

“You can blow me too.”

Since you were forced into a pool fully clothed, you had to duck into the women’s changing room to ring them out as best you could. Unfortunately, there was no way they were gonna dry any time soon, so you admitted defeat and slipped back into the uncomfortable damp. Weirdly enough, this wasn't the first time your clothes got totally ruined at a shoot; you should really start keeping a spare set in your car.

As you left the women's changing room, you bumped into Steve-O.

“Shit, sorry.”

“No, it’s cool.” He looked you up and down, obviously still soaked. “...You can borrow my shirt if you want, don’t really need it right now.”

You blinked owlishly. “Really?” And he nodded, motioning for you to follow him to a nearby bench. He tossed his shirt at you [a black long sleeve with some kind of angular white graphic, you had half a mind to nick it], and was gentleman enough to look away as you changed. The jeans still sucked, but at least your chest was dry again.

“Thanks man, promise to give it back.”

“Yeah don’t worry about it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “You coming to the party tonight?”

You raised an eyebrow, racking your brain for a second.

Party…? Did you miss something?

“Uh… what party?”

Steve looked confused. “The party…? Did nobody tell you?”

“No??”

“Huh, guess we all just assumed someone invited you.” He shrugged. “Fuck it, I’m inviting you then. We’re all gonna trash Knoxville's place tonight, I’ll send you the address.”

“I don’t, uh…” You gestured awkwardly. “Don’t have your number, dude.”

“Shit, even after a month? Hand over your phone.” Like time was repeating itself, you obliged without question, and he clumsily added his number into your contacts. A strange sense of accomplishment filled your chest as he handed it back, like you got an achievement in a video game. “There, text me so I can give you the address.” Then abruptly, shirtless as the day he was born, he picked up his stilts and left.

Well... guess you had plans for tonight, not that these guys ever gave you a night off. You really had to start praying for your organs. You were left to wait for everyone to wrap up the shoot, idly flicking through the contacts on your phone. You had forgotten about the quest you set yourself all that time ago [i.e. four weeks], but now that there was only one left you needed to complete your collection, you were filled with an unexpected determination. Your eyes flicked up from your small phone screen to settle on the man in question, none the wiser as he chatted to the production team.

Tonight you’re getting Johnny Knoxville’s number.

#jackass fanfic #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #bam margera x reader #steve o x reader #chris pontius x reader #ryan dunn x reader #if you're gonna be dumb

15 notes · View notes