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seriestrash · 7 years

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London’s Calling

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Chapter Thirteen: Attitude Adjustment

Word Count: 2669

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The following day Riley met up with Zay. By then he’d learnt of Riley’s arrival through Lucas and was coaxed into giving Riley a letter. The second Riley took the envelop with her name scrawled on the front she knew the handwriting belonged to Lucas. Reluctantly she accepted it and slipped it into her bag.

Twenty-four hours later Riley sits in her London bedroom with the unopened letter resting on the sheets in front of her. Nervously the brunette chews on her thumbnail unsure if she should open it or not. Riley knew the letter could only contain another apology from Lucas, after their talk on the subway she’s sure that would be the nature of the letter but still she cant bring herself read it.

Luckily she’s not forced to ponder that option for very long as her parents call out for her to join them in the living room. Riley picks up the envelope and slips it in her desk drawer. Out of sight, out of mind.

Riley had returned to London determined to give her new life the chance she promised she would when she first left New York. Riley was going to embrace the experience to it’s fullest and embrace it she did. After that day Riley approached everything with a new attitude, everything including her school life. The first morning back since Spring Break Riley approaches a table full of Finn’s friends.

“Hey,” Riley says bravely. Pretending like she wasn’t a ball of nerves.

“Hi,” One of the girls, Michelle, gives her a warm smile, “Finn isn’t here yet…”

“That’s okay,” Riley nods, “Is it cool if I sit with you guys anyway?”

“Of course,” Michelle’s smile widens and she slides over on the bench seat, freeing up space for Riley.

“So how was New York?” One of the guys, Parker asks.

“Eventful,” Riley laughs nervously, praying they wouldn’t press for details which they did lightly but Riley steered clear of any Lucas talk.

The conversation flows naturally until the morning bell rings and Riley walked to her homeroom with a smile. Maybe things weren’t as bad as she believed them to previously be.. That is a thought that sticks with Riley all day, it’s like her own cloudy mind was slowly clearing the more the day went on.

During English Riley is handed back a report she did prior to leaving on spring break. A big A+ is circled at the top of the page and her teacher - the one that gave her a hard time when she first began - gives Riley a congratulatory pat on the back and an encouraging, “I knew you had it in you.” Maybe he was being tough on her because he saw the potential she had? This makes Riley think about how she once wondered if she brought the isolation on herself and she now knows for sure that to an extent she did. That her longing for the life she had back in New York made her paint London gloomier than she had to.

As another week passes things only get brighter for the New Yorker. Little conversations with her friends - yes she now calls them her friends - make Riley smile.

“Mish your hair looks so cute,” Jake says to his girlfriend Michelle as he plays with her golden locks.

“Thanks,” Michelle shimmies one shoulder slightly, “I thought Riley looked positively adorable the first week she wore them so I thought I’d copy. Hope you don’t mind, Ri.”

“Mind?” Riley coaxes her head. For a moment she thought maybe she was being made fun of again but the genuine smile on the girls face made that thought disappear quickly. “Of course not.” Riley smiles at the notion that she inspired something, even as trivial as a pigtails it made Riley feel special for the whole day.

Even with things looking up for Riley it didn’t erase the loneliness she once felt. That empty feeling still weighs on her mind from time to time, mostly when she’s alone with her thoughts but the new perspective she has on things certainly makes the smile she wears more genuine. That and the open line of communication she has with her parents again also helps Riley cope emotionally with things.

On the last day of the school year Finn and Riley sit at her favourite bench, the one where Finn gave her the peace offering (the hot chocolate) and the two look at the pretty gardens surrounding them.

“You know what?” Riley says with a loud exhale, “I think I’m actually going to miss this place.

“Yeah, but not enough to stay,” Finn says with a crooked smile, “New York is where you belong so New York is where you’ll go.”

Oh yeah… Did I forget to mention Riley’s moving back to New York City? Not just with the Minkus’ either but with her whole family. After coming back from the trip during Spring Break Topanga couldn’t help but shake the feeling that she’d made a terrible mistake. As exciting and challenging as her new position was it resulted in her losing touch with the most important thing in her life, her family.

In fact, the very day Riley and Topanga returned from New York - when Cory and Topanga called Riley into the living room - they brought up the topic of moving back to the states.

Topanga being Topanga always had a contingency plan in place, one she set with the help of her husband. London was always going to have a one year trail period. That’s why Topanga held onto the bakery as long as she did and why Cory and Topanga only subletted their apartment rather than give up their lease completely. Also, both Cory and Topanga had their old jobs waiting for them if they ever chose to return to the city. This was all news to Riley and Auggie of course as it was kept under wraps because both Cory and Topanga didn’t want to discourage their children from embracing the move but they still wanted the security of having a backup plan incase things didn’t work out in London.

Riley asked her mom why she wanted to move back and Topanga cupped Riley’s cheek in her hand and explained how she overhead what she said about losing her parents if she left. Comending her once again about how mature she is, willing to sacrifice her own happiness for the greater good.

Riley argues that if they moved back wouldn’t that mean that Topanga would be the one giving up her happiness and dream job. Topanga explained that during their trip back to the states she met up with her mother rather than potential buyers for the bakery. A meeting they’d organised after Topanga cried on the phone to her and the two of them found a way where no one would have to sacrifice their happiness. Because moving home would make her children happy therefore Topanga would be happy too.

So, after a long chat the Matthews decided to finish out their year and return home. Sure things were painful and weird between with Lucas and Riley had the new positive attitude she planned to apply to her school etc. but Riley would’ve been lying if she said that moving back to New York City, with her whole family, didn’t excite her. She’d get to see Maya again everyday and she’d study with Farkle and they’d continue their regular planetarium gazing they did at his apartment once a month where they’d talk and he’d gush about Smackle. Smackle, Riley thought, she’d go home and make certain that Smackle new she was indeed Riley’s friend, not just Farkle’s girlfriend and then there’s Zay whose lighthearted teasing and witty banter would once again bring regular joy to her life.

Riley knew, after a year of being away she wouldn’t just be able to return to her old life, things would be strange and there would be a readjustment period. Then of course there was Lucas, who knows what would become of them if she moved back. If that would cause an obstacle with Riley and her friends. Then there was Rain, whom she’d never met before but in Riley’s eyes the girl is a trigger for her emotionally. Even though it’s not really the girls fault but Riley couldn’t help but fear the impact Rain would have if she moved back. This is a girl that inadvertently caused Lucas to break up with Riley, that and she had been welcomed into her friends, friend circle so facing her would be inevitable. All worries aside, Riley couldn’t help but feel the pros outweighed the cons.

Back to the bench where Riley and Finn sit at school on their last day Finn asks Riley if she’s coming to his end of year party to which she smiles and nods.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Riley beams. There was no nagging required by her parents or by Finn to get her there just a genuine interest in making the most of the time she has left with the people she’s come to care a great deal for.

As the night unfolds Riley has a blast. The goofball is so genuinely happy as she silly dances around the room that her face hurts from all the smiling. Out of breath and tired from all the dancing Riley takes a breather in the kitchen where Finn fetches her some water. The pair make their way up to the rooftop garden, an obvious awkwardness lingers in the air.

Noticing this Riley jokes, “You’re not going to try kiss me again are you?”

Finn gives her a playful shove and wraps an arm around her shoulder. “It would be like kissing my sister now,” he pokes his tongue out in disgust.

Riley giggles and nods her head.

“What a wild year this has been,” Finn exhales loudly and both he and Riley admire the city lights they see from the rooftop.

“I can’t believe it’s almost over,” Riley shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe we’re going to different schools in different countries…”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were saying goodbye,” Finn gives Riley a funny look, his mouth slightly agape.

“I guess I kind of am…” Riley says solemnly.

“Hey, I heard once Smiley McCheese is in your life she’s in it forever,” Finn gives her an intense look.

Riley presses a kiss on Finn’s cheek and pulls pack with a grin. Finn slaps a hand to where she marked him and gasps, “What was that for?”

“Just a bit of fun,” Riley gives him a knowing look and the two chuckle along and return to the party.

Riley’s not sure where he heard the whole forever thing she believes so much in but him adopting it as a belief of her own touched Riley, thus earning him the peck on the cheek but the thought of this stirred up her confused feelings for Lucas. The ones she’s spent two months trying to suppress. Feelings she could now no longer ignore, for that night when Riley returns to her apartment she paces by her desk. Trying to talk herself out of it but curiosity won in the end as she opens the drawer and pulls out the unopened letter. Riley retreats to her bed and sits with crossed legs and slowly opens the envelope and reads the letter.

Dear Riley,

I know you asked for time and I intend to respect that but I can’t help but feel as if I didn’t stress something enough when we spoke. No, it’s not that I’m sorry.. Because I am.. It’s that I genuinely do just want you to be happy. Anywhere in the world, with anyone, always. That means more to me than anything. Even if my jealous, idiotic behaviour seems to prove otherwise.

I know what you said about pretending to be happy makes sense but we pretend to be happy because we care. We can’t force ourselves to like a situation but, smiling anyway? We do that because the other persons happiness is more important than our own. That’s what I meant when I said it. I know you’re familiar with the concept. You’ve always put others before yourself so I ask you not forgive me because you think it’s the right thing to do but because it’s the right thing for you.

Two months, two years, forever. However much time you need and I’ll respect that. I promise you won’t hear from me unless you want to.

With love, Lucas.

Riley knew Lucas was right, about pretending to be happy. Riley had been guilty of doing it for almost a year with her mother. Also, she’d keep certain things from her friends if she thought it would make them happier. Riley doesn’t even know why she said what she did, maybe it was part of her wishing that no one had to suffer quietly. That in a perfect parallel universe that she could be Riley and he could be Lucas and in any form; romantic, platonic or other and they’d be happy.

With a heavy sigh and the letter still in hand Riley flops back on the bed. Riley knew Lucas, even after a year she’s still sure she knows him and she knew that when he felt bad about something he could react in a number of ways. One of which is Lucas being embarrassed for his behaviour, too embarrassed to acknowledge his actions right away. He’d go quiet and hope the situation would do the same. Another way is something Riley always referred to as ‘over apologising’ where Lucas would become neurotic and constantly spit “I’m sorries” until he was convinced he’d convinced them of his regret. Another way - the most common Riley feels - is how Lucas makes a point to show you he’s sorry. He does this by first apologising and then once the conflict is resolved Lucas would be proactive in demonstrating he’s learnt from his mistake. The first example of this that comes to Riley’s mind Lucas’ “you’re too much” comment he made on their first day of high school and how he constantly made the effort to reassure Riley that wasn’t the case. Riley’s knows Lucas doesn’t do this because he feels guilty but because he genuinely wants the person to understand that they deserve better than whatever he did. This is something Riley has always admired about Lucas.

It’s with this knowledge that Riley can only assume Lucas would have found it difficult to respect Riley’s request for time and space. Much like herself Lucas shares the same incessant need to please the ones he cares about. Knowing this makes Riley feel slightly guilty for phasing him out even though Riley knew she had reason too. But, it’s not the guilt or the thought that if she was moving back they’d eventually have to get over it that makes Riley pick up her phone. It’s not even her own incessant need to please the ones she care about, it’s because she wants to. Things would be weird and Riley still wasn’t sure they’d be able to get over it but she was willing to try. With that she texts Lucas.

Lucas thought he was still dreaming when he woke up to the early AM text from Riley. When his mind cleared he replied back to her. Of course he still wanted that, he’d spent two months physically stopping himself from trying to contact her. He’d spent two months trying to think of ways he could make it right should Riley ever speak to him again. Two months wondering if she even read the letter and if she did, did she understand what he was trying to say? Riley didn’t reply to his text and she didn’t have to. Lucas knew Riley was coming home and this text, even though it may be the weakest of glimmers, it gave him hope.

End Note: Again I feel like I couldnt get across what I intended… Sorry if this chapter is choppy with the back and forth but I feel as though I wanted to tell you how much more enjoyable Riley’s last two months were BEFORE you found out they’d be the last two months.

Anyway, the epilogue is next. The FINAL part. 24 hours away :)

Please let me know what you think thus far dksfjsdkjf !!

#rucas #rucas au #rucas imagine #rucas fanfic #rucas fic #londonscalling

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