#lookign in my soul

[mitski-slope]

yeah .

[romqnticstylez]

guys it is literally over it is Over

[audioexorcisms]

storytime i guess tonight was the confirmation i needed to know im trans(?) bc. i was just at a local museum thing + dinner w some of my friends from class and me and one of the guys were both wearing big leather coats but he looked so fuckcing. oh man i cant describe it he was like the most gorgeous and important man on earth in that moment and i felt so overcome with the shameful desire to be him i had to go in the bathroom for like 10 minutes and cry about it. other than that it was a really fun day though <3

[saltwaterrivers]

man I wish I liked my job more. It's so rare to find a decent working environment with good benefits, reasonable pay, kind coworkers, etc etc... But my god is this shit boring and purposeless

[pomodoriyum]

gonna watch terror ep 10. hope it doesnt hollow out my soul!!

—

something wrong with me since i literally can only focus on des voeux right now…hes hauling…..

love how stiffly every1 is moving. scurvy <3

HI GOODSIR <3

hickeys all. ‘oh how funny the past is’

crozier: ‘fuck off’

also. why. is francis all bloody. the hell happened?

‘he took a stumble’ welllll. maybe. im choosing to believe he said something abt hartnell and de voeux hit him bc his other option was throwinf up

also des voeux fiddling with his shirtsleeves. x2

—

NEDWARD WANTS TO RESCUE FRANCIS. I KNOW IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN BUT OUGH

ohhhh edward little you poor fucking bastard. good job dundy ig

oh my god crozier is going to think edward abandoned him. christ

goodsirrrrr <3 also he looks GAUNT good job costumers !!

hes bleeding from the scalp….

memory moment. god that hurts so bad. awesoem

hi manson. thank you francis for being nice to him

—

oh my god it was a PLANNED murder. i thought goodsir did that in a fit of desperation not in cold fucking blood. oooohhhh goodsir how you are fascinating and fun

—

bye jopson. so sorry about that

—

hockey ‘first of the officers i enlisted’ fhkdfnfkfl i wouldnt exactly call what you did ‘enlisting’ but yeah this fits under reinvention sure

how much of hickeys commentary to francis here is something he also is telling himself? versus how he’s trying to hurt crozier in the same ways crozier has hurt him (flogging, obvs, but from hickeys pov also probably leading them there in the first place, nevermind franklin)

‘surpassingly lonely man’ YEAH HE IS!!!!

^^ face you make when you totally didnt realize how true your foils’ opinions on you are (on another note, the casting people did such a good job findinglike normal ass lookign people for this show???)

—

oh, diggle is *shaking* with terror. oh, my

GOODSIR NAURRRRRR NOT THE MASS MURDER SUICIDE NOOOOOOOOOO

preparinf hsi own body for discovery (if not burial) is soooooooooo

ok mroe to do list. 1. identify the various plants and animals he hallucinated. theyve GOT to be important for interpretation

—

everyone is so wobbly like a baby deer

des voeux deadpan sarcastic delivery. so meannnnn (but i imagine hes extremely unable to imagine killing oneself sinces. hes (like hickey) willing to do just about anything to survive)

HODGEPODGE CHAIR MOMENTS. LOVE the artfully placed tins

yuckyyyyy

love how des voeux was the first to reach for it too yucky yucky.

TOZER DOWN that was probably the greatest literal flop ive seen. armitage reaching for him…de voeux’s little jerking head motion back. and whathisface in the back freaking out

—

“hes sick from what he eats” OUGHHEHE HEH and goodsirs trap closes in

des voeux has been fantasizing about eatinf that bear for literal years now lmao

aw manson. ouchies

awww their tummies hurt. and they are being brave about it

hickey is. absolutely reeling from the poison and the lead in his brain omg. hes delirious

also looove how much regret he packs into that speech. tryinf to start fresh by. what, murderinf someone? and then youre stuck in a place that will kill you?? yeah

oh thwy are all about to lose it. des voeux is actively having a panic attack or so.

^^guy who looks like hes about to cry

tozer is probably handling this best tbh

interestinf that hickey conceptualizes tuunbaq as part of its own empire. because empire is the only way he can parse and understand the world

—

HODGSON NOOOOOO

love how tozer just accepts hickeys sawinf his own tongue out. hes like ‘not my business rn’

great job hickey. really youve outdone yourself this time

really hard to tell apart tuunbaqs/croziers/hickeys noises. also francis why the hell did you approach that situation

symbolic that francis lands the final blow. of courses. and hickey’s corpse between his thighs….🤌 (well. almost. he’s using his foot on hickey’s shoulder, literally stepping on him, which is so yummy in terms of themes)

—

SILNAAAAA. love how shes awash in warm colors

bye des voeux. your little gasping sobs hurt. baaad way to go

SILNAAAAAAAA

whos strap is francis holding??

also i find it interestinf that he’s the one she chooses to keep alive/save? more to think about on this

HIS HAND OUCHIES

HER FACE WHEN SHE SEES GOODSIR. OH MY GODDDDDDD it is incredibly impactful bc shes normally so stoic. auugh

—

francis having a normal one i see (i love it when characters experience delirium)

verrry interesting in who he named, there

love his new hat also. hes like a mate now. not a captain any more

??? is thatthe fucking passage???? or a dif camp?? hm.

EDWARDDDDDD

“close” yeah thats what i thought. ‘close is the worst thing in the world’ HEEHEE YEAH SURE ISSSS

—

i dont have access to subtitles atm so i will not know till later eveything they discuss and say. but. i miss silna already :(

francis i know youre freaking out but like. dont harass them youve done enogh

great ending shot. really makes him look like a doll.

wow what. a great show. im. a little wrecked about it

[v-anrouge]

i tink i followed u since b4 but its only now i strted interactign om tumblr more n i kept seeing u talkm bout rook. First time i drew rook was in 'rook sees ur browser history'. do u know y i drew 'rook sees ur browser history'? To catch u like a fish. n i did. Bc i expermented n errytime there was a pomefiore u liked it. So i said "aha !! We have a twst simp amogus !!" so i keep talkign wit u n then u follw me back and then i meet @iheart-nene and @flqyd-is-lost and follow them 2 an im like "heeheehoohoohaha my first moots" n im like ok this is going great thank you silly guy aster and i just keep doing silly little drawing guys but then suddenly i start darwing rook more and then i say "oh he just easy to draw because bobcut and silly" but then suddenly i say "hm mayb hes cool" bc i keep seeig him now and then suddenly i keep lookign at him and then suddenly mayb i like the octavinelle but i love the rook and then suddenly hes more beautiful suddenly i wanna squeeze him like a little juiceberry bo

This is beautiful, as i type this review there are tears in my eyes, i never thought id see such a beautiful well-done story, all the words carefully thought and put in the right places making the perfect harmony that is this story.

Before i had come across this beautiful masterpiece my life felt empty, meaningless, grey. i used to have no nope no dreams nothing that keeps me going, i used to get out of bed with no destiny in mind, but now everything is clear, my whole life i had been living a lie that society told me and i foolishly believed, but your art has shown me the truth, it touched the deepest parts of my soul and brought on a side of me i thought had died long ago, i now feel complete, like a whole new person.

when i look around now i see beautiful vibrant colors that dance as the light hits them, i hear sounds that warm my heart and make me smile, i feel hopeful and determined to follow the dreams i had labeled as impossible for a long time

Thank you, this has truly changed my life

[jiggie]

are the arkham games good i keep seeing stuff from arkham: origins and im pretty curious.. are they connected at all which ones shud i play ?

[floralbfs]

YALL THERES A LOUD PINK AND PURPLE COLOR PALETTE FOR THE APP ???? IT'S UNBEARABLE AND TOO LOUD AND I CANT LOOK AT IT. I LOVE IT SO MUCH

[futurewriter2000]

Close Friends - pt. 11

A/N: It’s not over yet but like.... how did I do?

XX

June. 

June finally came, it was rough in the beginning with the final few exams but enjoyable towards the end. 

For you, all those months on focusing on the exams was a bliss becasue if you were stressed enough for pieces of papers deciding your future, you weren’t thinking about the four boys you used to call friends. 

They’ve been great contemplating months of long nights of crying and sobbing. You saw them everywhere. You saw them in the Great Hall, classess, corridors, Hogsmeade, everywhere really and it was hard at first but there was something about them- something that changed. Whether they got closer since your last encounter with them or they’ve matured. 

You haven’t been talking to neither of them. There were some nodds and smiles whenever some of you passed, Sirius more guilty, always looking away but you managed to actually forgive him. 

You couldn’t understand how you could. Usually, you would have hold on to a grudge and never forgive him for hitting you. Some days, you could see him staring in class and it was as if he was screaming appologies at you with his eyes. 

Knowing Sirius for years, he wouldn’t do what he did if he wasn’t truly hurt. He was in love with you and you knew that. He was in love with you and you basically told him you were in love with his best friends. That they were perfect for you. Not him, who had tried months to speak those words- those three words that seemed so heavy on his heart and who would genuenly love you with everything he has got. You knew Sirius. You knew how intensly he could feel his emotions, whether that was love or hurt. If he loved you, he loved you with every single atom in his body and if he hurt- he definetly hurt until he fell into the depths of darkness. 

You knew him so well, so goddamn well that you felt his emotions through all those days. Whenever he was happy and you didn’t see it, you felt happy. Whenever he was in his deepest of refrets, you cried those nights. Whenever he looked at you, you could feel the guilt he felt. It was as if the two of you were connected in such a deep level it felt impossible to think that maybe, just maybe he was right. You two-

“You coming?!” your roomate ran across the room with her bathing suit on, smiling and tying her hair.

She interrupted your train of thoughts but you smiled anyway. Today was a nice sunny day at the lake. Everybody will be there. You put on your dress and your flip flops, grabbed the towel and glasses and shouted back. “It’s you who we’re waiting, Fran.” 

She popped her head out of the warderobe and smiled. “I just don’t have anything to wear!”

“You’ll be in your swimsuit anyway- just throw something on and lets go!” you rushed her and she quickly put her shorts and T-shirt over. 

“Yeah, you’re right. I really don’t give a damn of how I look.” she laughed, grabbed her bag and started running after you.

---

It was rare to be hot in Britian but when it was, you wanted to enjoy the heat and the sun burning your skin. 

It was such a nice summer day. There was music coming from the stereos and students talking, laughing, some of them even playing volleyball and you? You were sun tanning. At times you pulled yourself up on your elbows and looked around, specifically on the group of boys at the other side of the lake. 

All shirtless, including Remus who finally showed his pecks you didn’t know existed. James had his body lines and muscles nicely toned, including the V-line that followed to his trunks. He and Sirius were joking around, playfully fighting and pushing each other in the water. You could hear Sirius bark-like laugh from all over there and it plastered a nostalgic smile on your lips. 

You and him used to laugh together all the way. He wasn’t that nicely rippd as the other two but his shape was nicely fit and for some reason you couldn’t look away. 

And then- then the most perfect thing happened. 

‘ You and Sirius were studying for your final exams in your 5th year. He kept groaning and whining as he kept re-reading the same line for the past 5 minutes. 

“Come on, Black. Just one more exam.” you said as you flipped the page.

“No.” He jumped on his feet and walked to his stereo, turning on the radio and surfing through the stations for some music. 

‘I’m begging! - the song started and Sirius couldn’t help himself but smile so brightly, jumping on his feet and clapping  

“Sirius no!” you laughed at his funky dance moves 

‘ Beggin', beggin' you Put your loving hand out baby ‘ - he put his hand on his heart and started walking towards you, pulling you up. 

“Come on, baby. Put your loving hand out dar-darling!” 

‘ Riding high, when I was king Played it hard and fast, cause I had everything!’ - he continued to sing outloud and to your surprise he had a nice voice. 

He interwined his fingers with yours and pulled you close, both dancing and laughing as the song continued.’

The two of you made so many dance moves to this song that day and when you heard the same intro, your eyes locked with his so fast until James hand pushed Sirius face back into the water. 

You let out a giggle as he came back out, confused and his hair all over his face. He pushed James back and slicked back his wet hair, lookign back at you, smiling and singing along the lyrcs.

‘ Walked away, won me then But easy come and easy go And it would end-’ 

He could see the giggles coming from all that distance, so with a leap of his heart, he jumped out of the water and started to make his way to you. 

Running before the next few lines of the song could come, you stood up as well and just let it play out. 

‘  So why anytime I bleed, you let me go Anytime I feed you get me know Anytime I see you let me know But, I plan and see just let me goI'm on my knees when I'm (beggin'g) Cause I don't want to lose (you) -’

He was now close to you, dripping from water and panting from the run and watching you with apologetic eyes. Opening his arms he continued.  “ I got my arms on spread And I hope that my heart gets fed, matter of fact girl I'm beggin'.” 

You stayed quiet for the chorus, letting him watch your reaction and letting his smile falter. He bit his lips, completely embarrased from what he did but it was after the chorus, that you grabbed his hand and started singing.

“ I need you, (yeah) to understand Tried so hard To be your man The kind of man you want in the end Only then can I begin to live again.” you pressed yourself on his chest, feelign your heart flutter on his touch and smiling so wide your cheeks started to hurt. 

Happy as a man could be, Sirius spun you around until you were back to his chest, his hand on your hip just for a few moments before he spun you away and continued to sing the next part. 

‘ An empty shell I used to be Shadow of my life Was hangin' over meA broken man That I don't know Won't even stand the devils dance To win my soul ‘ 

You laughed and he did as well because all this song was planned for when the two of you were 15, singing it back in his room during studying. Whenever it came on the radio, the two of you would sing out your part, no matter how awful your voices sounded. 

‘ Why we chewing, why we chasing Why the bottom, why the basement Why we got good shit don't embrace it Why the feel for the need to replace me ‘ - both of you sang together, throwing your hands and jumping just as you did 3 years ago, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close as you wrapped your arms around him as well, swinging on both of your feet. 

The song continued to play but the two of you continued to stay in each other’s arms, his cold and wet body against your heated one. Overjoyed as he was, he let his nose dig into the crook of your neck, smelling the shampoo he was so obsessed with but this time it was a fresh scent of watermelon. 

He pulled away and cupped your cheeks. “Watermelon?”

You laughed at his obsession with your shampoos and nodded. “Yeah. Nice fragmence.” you shrugged and grabbed your towel, turning to your friends. “I’m going to the other side for a while- that’s alright?” you asked as Fran put up her glasses and checked Sirius from head to toe, grinning. 

“Honey, as long as I can come with you? Might introducing me to the tall one?” all the two of you turned to the guy she was pointing.

“Moony?” Sirius smiled.

“Remus?” you looked at her and gave her a wink. “Sure.” you said without feeling any kind of jealousy feeling inside of you as you thought you would. 

Fran got up and grabbed her stuff as well, following the two of you. You let Sirius go a bit further so you could lean to Fran and whisper in her ear. “The abs one.” you smiled and she turned, smiling cheekely as well. 

“Yeah?”

“Fantastic kisser.” you said, pulling down your glasses and running to Sirius side. 

---

There wasn’t a sconf of an awkward moment between the group when you and Fran came. James had his eyes narrowed at the two of you meanwhile Remus kept smirking at the sun, just knowing he was right. Right about you and Sirius, right about how everything would turn out anyway and right in general. It brought him some sort of pleasure but if he was honest with himself, he truly wished that he wasn’t right for this. 

“Took you long enough.” James beamed, giving you a long hug and squeezing you tightly. “Thought we’d have to- you know?” you could feel his arm muscles tighten as he lifted you and started carrying towards the lake.

“James- James! James don’t you fuckign dare! James!” you continued to try get out of his grip when he threw both of the two of you into the cold water. 

You felt your whole heated, sunburnt body get washed by the coldness of the water, James arms wrapping around your stomach and pulling you out with him into the surface, laughing. “Welcome back ,Twizzlers.”

“YOU TWAT!” you splashed and kicked him underwater as he pulled you back and took a hold of your head.

“Take a deep breath baby.” he said and you could feel yourself panic a bit as he dunked your under again. 

You swam around him and tried to do the same but he kept his arms fighting yours and he dunked you again until Sirius jumped in, screaming.

“CANON BALL!” he shouted as he splashed next to the two of you, dunking James head under water and smiling at you as he held him under. “He gets cocky if he always wins.” he winked at you with a smile as you laughed.

“Makes two of you.” 

---

When the evening started to approach and only a few more people stayed, mostly Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. 

Sirius continued to watch you from his spot. Since you sat down on the pier and dipped your into the lake, swinging them back and forth. 

Nobody could really know what Sirius was thinking but both of the one boy had a a close idea of what he might be thinking. Remus and Fran were both gone somewhere and James was just about to leave. He couldn’t yet. Not until Sirius was next to you. 

“You know- you’ve waited for years to tell her how you feel, if you continue to do so, it’s going to turn worse than before.” he told him, standing up and grabbing his towel before leaving him. 

When he turned around, he could see Sirius standing up and slowly making his way to you. Pleased with himself, he left the two of you alone. 

Sirius stopped a few feet behind you. He could feel his heart throbbing inside of him but at the same time, the calm lake and the following clouds on the sky that you observed so distinctively let the throb fade. 

You could feel him when he sat down next to you. His eyes watchign forward, his legs swinging gently from the dock. It was only a couple of moments when his eyes averted from the sky to you. He was observing- observing the burns on your nose and cheeks- the sticky tuft of your hair that was pulled up into a bun but some falling down because of the weak rubber-band. 

You looked at him as well, your eyes in this perfect doting join.

“A day doesn’t go by I don’t think of what I did to you. You and the other three that day. “ he started and you sighed, trying to interrupt him.

“Sirius-”

“No, just let me say this.” he said, looking away for a moment before locking his eyes with yours. “I knew it was you. I knew it was you when you called out my name and tried to pull me away. I knew- at first I thought that it was Peter because that could have been excuse that I didn’t mean it but I was so hurt- so hurt when Remus told me that you and him-” he stopped, looking away and clearing his throat. “Uhm...I knew it was you but I was so angry- I was SO angry at you, at the world, at this stupid destiny where you don’t love me like I want you to love me. I punished you for it. I hit you because I had noone else to hit but you have to believe me, (y/n), I regretted it right after. I wouldn’t do that to you- I wouldn’t but I did and I think I’ll probably regret it till the day that I die.” his eyes started to tear up but you quickly took his hand and brought it to your cheek. 

“When we started hanging out, I was in love with you. I was so in love with how you could make me feel at times, you know but I didn’t want to be one of those girls and I wanted to prove that to you. I wanted to prove to you I could be more to you than those girls- and then you started flirting with other girls and I was relieved because then we could still be friends and not have it complicated.” you smiled and saw his eyes falling out of his head when you said you were in love with him. “James was funny. He was and I knew since I couldn’t have you, I can have him because you never liked me the way I liked you, so I just stopped liking you and you didn’t mind me flirting with James so I thought that was it.”

“And then 5th year happened and I realized I was in love with you. I tried to bury it. I really did because you were my best friend but then a thought kept repeating itself in my head, saying that being in love with my best friend isn’t really a bad idea, is it.”

“Well I didn’t realize you did fancy me back until 7th year-”

“The bracelet?” he asked and you laughed. 

“I thought it was just a token of your love for me but months after you not dating anybody but hover around me kind of made me think.” 

“Every day before I went to see you I tried to repeat what I wanted to say. Then you kissed James and I was so mad- so mad your first kiss was with James and not me. Because you can’t ever forget your first kiss-”

“You and Jill?”

“Yeah-” he laughed, reminiscing back. “Still, all I could think about was what you said about soulmates and first kisses, you know? I guess if I kissed you first, you’d think I was your soulmate- or something- I don’t know.” he tried to laugh it off, knowing it was probably a stupid thing to say... but it was true and he promised himself to tell you everything. “And then Remus- and Remus is an excellent kisser, better than James-”

“What?” you cut in, watching him with shock. “You kissed-”

“Everybody kisses their friends at least once.” he shrugged. “Except us appereantly.” he leaned and wiggled his eyebrows meanwhile you scoffed and pushed him back. 

“In your dreams, Black.” you laughed and he leaned back on his arms, swinging his legs.

“Worth a try.” he smiled. 

“I promised myself I won’t get involved with you four anymore.” you said. “Since the whole Remus fiasco- we didn’t... I mean, when you said if we... if we slept together. We didn’t.” 

He turned his head to you, watching your whole face features as he simpered. “I know. Remus explained the whole deal.” he then narrowed his eyes at you and continued. “You got Remus drunk. James and I have been trying to get him drunk for years.” 

“Well, you and James are clearly not a woman.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!” he laughed.

“Let’s say you were at a party- and that you weren’t an alcoholic that you were- a girl approaches you and offers you a drink. Would you take it?” 

“Yes.”

“And if your friends who were always so clearly drunk and irresponsible offered you a drink, would you take it?”

“Is that an insult?”

“Sirius...”

“I get your point.” he brushed his hand in defeat, looking back at the sight in front of you. 

You followed his eyes and let the silence take over. 

“So what now?” he asked. “What are we?”

“Are you still in love with me?” you asked him as he kept quiet, putting up his hand and for the first time since he sat down, you noticed the bracelet he wore- your bracelet. 

He twisted it around his wrist and smiled at it. “I’d like to think so, yes.” he smiled at you. “Are you in love with me?” he asked, watching your eyes so focused on the bracelet. 

Smiling, he took it off his hand and offered to put it on you. 

“It was always meant to be yours.” he said and you put up your hand, feeling your heart tighten in your chest. “If you still want it?” 

“I do.” you nodded, feeling your eyes water but you quickly dried them off. 

He put the bracelet back on your wrist and later pulled out the long chain from his trunks’ pocket. 

You couldn’t believe your eyes. He kept it.

He put the chain around his neck and clasped it together, bringing the silver in to the front. “I kept it and I never told anybody where I got it.” he kept the ring in his hands before letting it hang around his neck, looking at you. “So...” he said and you looked up at his eyes. “Are you in love with me still?” 

He was prepared. His whole body was prepared, tense, veins beating in sync with his heart. 

“Maybe.” you said, smiling.

“Maybe?” he asked, smiling. “Is that a yes? A no?”

“It’s a maybe.” you continued to smile, though you knew the exact answer to his question, you just didn’t want to let him know it yet.

“Than if it’s a maybe, I’ll wait.” he stood up and offered you a hand. “Whatever the real answer is-” he pulled you up until the two of you were chest to chest. “-I’ll still want you to be in my life. Friends or not. I could live with us being just friends but I could never live without you being a part of my life.” he said, pulling you into a hug and holding you, knowing what he said was the truth and knowing excatly that besides that one regret, he wouldn’t have any more of them. 

[rikuphobic]

IM STREAMING TONIGHT WOOO !!

7:30pm est at twitch.tv/magenta__inc !!!

we’re starting the legend of zelda: majoras mask playthrough tonight and i’m super excited for it.

why should you watch me ? well, i’m a very small content creator lookign to grow their audience, and i don’t really stream for money or anything, i just like to vibe !! i’m a member of the lgbtq+, and i’d like to say we have a bunch of fun here in this little streaming community. 

i stream tuesdays and saturdays at 7:30 pm est, and my current schedule is majoras mask on tuesdays, and then pokémon soul silver on saturday’s until we beat it 

so if you’re free, come on and swing by, and feel free to drop a follow !! B]

[dilaudidiot]

lookign thru my followers and like... yall WHAT.

so many of my mutuals are accounts i love with my entire soul and i had no idea yall followed me and im just so 😳🥺🥰

[meicheesecake]

Cool games I’ve played in 2018!

Everyone I know is doing one of these so I’m gonna jump in the bandwagon because I crave attention.

Where They Cremate The Roadkill, Amorous (fuck these)

I have only played 9 really good games this year so I’ll dedicate this spot for two games I absolutely fucking hated.

Where They Cremate The Roadkill had potential. John Clowder (fuck this guy btw) is known for being a pedophile and also making games with wonderful surrealist visuals and narratives, and those are the only good points about this game. The music was unremarkable, and the gameplay. Oh, the gameplay. Instead of going with the good old turn-based RPG approach, WTCTRK tries to go for beat em up gameplay. In the RPG Maker engine. 90% of this post is going to be about the things wrong with this game if I keep going, so I’mma stop right here.

I haven’t played Amorous a lot, I quit right away when it was revealed that the character I wanted to date was the main character’s step brother. Also I later found Jason Afex produced this game, so yeah. Don’t play these.

Dark Souls 3

Not my first Dark Souls experience, but definitely the best I’ve had! Dark Souls 3 is definitely a bit easier than the predecessors, which is a good thing for me since I absolutely suck at video games. That doesn’t mean I had an easy time going through the game (at least not on my first 2 runs), it just means I had a good experience doing so.

Also, despite getting the game way past the initial peak, I was able to have a lot of fun online experiences! From jolly cooperation with @assassinasha and random people to invasions and fight clubs, it was all around enjoyable. The Dark Souls community can get kind of toxic on the internet, but the people in the game itself were very helpful and respectful!

New Dangan Ronpa v3

Danganronpa, except this time one of my faves stayed alive. Not a lot to comment besides that.

Iconoclasts

Almost ten years in the making, this game was worth every cent. The gameplay pacing got a little messy at times, with the focus constantly shifting between combat and puzzles, but it was polished enough to stand out among other metroidvanias. The plot is definitely the best part of this game, dealing with various subjects from religion to philosophy. It’s on Switch now, so if you’re lookign for some cool indie games then try this!

Monster Hunter Generations Ultimate

I’ve seen a lot of people saying they didn’t like this very much, and I can agree with them to an extent. The singleplayer progression is loose, they throw a lot at you before you even properly get to throw a monster, and some of the weapon changes are less than good (I don’t like the gunlance heat system). Though in my opinion it’s by far the MH game with the biggest amount of content, and it’s pretty straightforward. The large variety of monsters, different fighting styles and hunter arts definitely spice up the characteristically grindy MH gameplay.

Breath of the Wild

I’m a slut for “do whatever the fuck you want with a side of plot” games, and Breath of the Wild was definitely the best one I’ve played so far. The sandbox aspects combined with the classic dungeon design and interesting plot made for a really enjoyable experience. And I still haven’t finished it! The absurd amount of things to do and places to explore definitely feels overwhelming at first, but as the game comes to a close and you acquire your definitive equipment set (guardian set for me), exploring becomes the most fun part of the game in my opinion. Suck that, Skyrim.

Octopath Traveller

It’s an RPG, basically. If you ever want to have a raw, plain RPG experience without the pains of old-school RPG design,, play this. It’s got all the cheesiness, memorable main characters, barebones-yet-exciting plot and turn-based combat you could ever want. It gets a little repetitive due to the nature of the game, that each character has their individual story they have to go through, so long play sessions  might burn you out pretty quickly.

Sonic Forces

Sometimes all you need after a long and stressful day is to hear Sonic call your fursona “partner” and “buddy”. Besides that, it’s a pretty mediocre game.

Deltarune

I didn’t expect this game to come out at all, and yet it felt like something I’ve been waiting for a long time. I’m really glad Toby went for more of an AU game than a proper sequel or prequel, because Undertale already feels pretty complete as it already is. It’s just the first chapter, but I already love the characters, music and revamped gameplay

Lisa series (Lisa the First, Lisa the Painful, Lisa the Joyul)

I cannot for the life of me pick a favorite game, but if I absolutely had to it would be a LISA game. Simple yet open and intriguing plot, classic turn-based RPG gameplay with a variety of different party members and synergies between them as the main selling point, amazing music, good character design and visuals that go from old-school to surrealist. I absolutely loved these games.

[bradleycts]

(10/12/20)

Based off of the previous influence ‘Mikhail Tolmachev’ and the ‘Solovetsky Islands Gulag’ I have created another spider diagram to get a better idea of what I need to focus on with my creative experiments:

Looking at this I would say its clear to see there is a focus on the wrongful treatment of the human who were held at the camp. I would like to emphasis their impact and create a could sketches in order to produce a more effective artwork.

The following are sketches produced from the brainstorm via the spider diagram above:

Figure 1: (Tearle, 2020)

Figure 2: (Tearle, 2020)

Figure 3: (Tearle, 2020)

These sketches are in place to show my developing ideas! Lookign at Figure 1 I have tried to think about what the people in the camp were forced to do for the Soviet Union. Ive used Moscow as a representation for the Soviet Union as it is the Nations capital and therefore houses the government officials at the top of the hierarchy. Ive tried to show that beneath this city and its beautiful architecture there has been progress via ill gotten gains. This of course is referring to the labour produced in the Gulag and the fact that Moscow were alerted of the activity going on at Solovetsky Island and did nothing to dissolve the operation. The bottom of the piece bellow Moscow depicts victims who were forced in labour as well as a pair of guards on the right holding firearms. Not to mention by using the skyline of Moscow I have managed to develop ideas from my statement in a previous post (2/11/20): “Upon experimentation with my drawings I’ve noticed that a group of mushrooms resemble a neighbourhood or city skyline, I will experiment with this idea”. Brought to my attention by my tutor Sam it appear I have a unconsciously produced experimentation based on an idea set in motion over a month ago. This is proof of documenting experimentation in that it should provide useful for future projects!

Figure 2 was an older piece I had created when creating conceptual ideas for a collapsed world, as procedures would be put in place during this scenario therefore I drew a concept of a figure in uniform to show authority. I have used this here as the uniform bares similarities to the one guards are wearing in images of the gulag online.

When approuching Figure 3 I had an idea sparked by one of my points on the diagram! At the bottom of the diagram I have written “uses humans as tools”. What i mean by this is that the people forced to work in these labour camps are (in the eyes of the authority) nothing more than an asset that is being utilised until it is no longer needed. Similar to tools, they are simply unconscious lumps of metal that we require for a task and are put to one side when we no longer need them. This gave me the idea to create a simple portrait of a prisoner with little to no identity. When thinking about this the most important thing was the eyes. I needed there’s to be a factor that had no defining trait or unique look, this lead me to simply scratching across a line where the eyes would go. The times we live in today with the pandemic we can easily identify each other through the recognition of ones eyes. Eyes are incredibly unique in shape and colour and are also referred to as a window to our soul. So when sketching Figure 3 I chose to take this away as the enforcements at the camps wouldnt take a second glance as a prisoner as they are in their eyes noting of value and are expendable.

Here are the images I used to help me sketch the ideas above:

Images:

Solovki, n.d. Solovksy Camp and GULAG. [online] http://www.solovki.ca/english/camp.php (Accessed, 2020)

Wiki, 2020. Moscow. [online] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moscow#/media/File:Spasskaya_Tower_and_the_St._Basil's_Cathedral.jpg (Accessed, 2020)

[midoriyasbones]

Maybe this sounds stupid but do you have any advice on drawing positivity?? Cuz I've been drawing for a year now but I still don't really like how everything looks? I know "time leads to perfection" or something like that and I tend to be hopeful fdjsfdsa But yeah, I just wonder if you actually have any advice (not like art advice, just maybe a positive thought? idk) -💚

oF COURSE!!! tbh art and writing are probably close in some ways (plus i know some art sage stuff from just being on tumblr) so here we go: ORI’S ADVICE TO GETTING BETTER!!!!

1. PRACTICE YOUR CRAFT EVERY DAY!!!! ik it’s really hard, especially when you’re busy (don’t feel obligated to do it like… every day if you’re busy BUT WHEN U CAN) and ESPECIALLY when you feel no good about it, but know that you’re not getting better about it by putting off doing it.

2. UR BAD STUFF IS GOOD STUFF BC ITS STILL STUFF!!! my worst fic is brave new world (dont read it) but its still good bc it’s still STUFF. i know it’s bad, it’s unbelievably bad, but i know that by doing it i became so much better at writing. i worked and i worked and i worked and even though i know its… its not a good piece of writing, it’s still good bc i made it!!! you’re bad stuff is stuff too and it’s okay!! just make the stuff!!

3. T U T O R I A L S!!! srsly, just spend soemtime looking up tutorials and not just when you need them!! i spend half my time on springhole.net (it’s a writing advice site) bc just lookign at advice and stuff really helps. i may not even need it right then, but knowing what to avoid and what to do really helps for future endeavors.

4. get help!!! get an art buddy!! let them see ur art…. let them compliment you… let them give you (constructive) tips. hell, u can ALWAYS send me ur art and i will… well, im not an artist so im no good at that but i will always encourage you!

5. ACCEPT THE KIND WORDS YOU ARE GIVEN!!! do not brush off ANY COMPLIMENTS!!! just accept them bc they are true!!!!!! you deserve to feel godo about your work and when people say ‘hey that’s so good!’ dont push it away with ‘oh no its jsut a stupid doodle’. accept it…. feel the good words… .they are coming into your soul…. let yourself be validated my friend….

[djpsychosin]

Just a small rant after seeing shit on facebook..

so....lookign on facebook scrolling through the usual trump for some baffling reason still being allowed to speak in public, pokemon memes, metal memes, half my goddamn feed is memes....then I stumble across a particular “meme” that is bullshit....the top picture had some young lads dressed as cowboys and indians playing ... fair enough we all did it when we were young....but under that is a pic of two young boys in make up with feminine looks to them.....the meme said “what boys did when I was young....versus what boys are doing now”.....you know what? whoever created that meme, and I say this from the very bottom of my soul, FUCK YOU!.   What I am about to say is me saying my opinion on this while also trying to not stray into “being offended for other people territory”, but seriously I cant be the only one to think thats bullshit right?  the whole overly masculine image of boys has been going on too long, so a young boy wants to look pretty, maybe try some womens clothes on, why is that such an issue? fuck if people, hell even if I, could have fully realised my sexuality by being allowed to explore such things I wouldnt be so confused about a few things in my own life.  I am 35, I admit that, while also knowing that I do not really act 35, however I have seen people my age, and people younger have such an issue with younger people wearing make up, and with the idea of gender fluidity/non gendering.....again doing my best to not try to sound like im ranting on other peoples behalf here, but here....right now...in the fucking year 2018....why is sexual identity still such a problem for people to just accept?  If I had a son, who came to me and told me he wanted to dress in womens clothing and wear make up, then fine, thats their life choice, if he told me he wanted to no longer be identifed by either gender, again I would support such decisions.  Is it really that hard for society to accept we dont all feel we were born in the right body inside? and to also remember one extra word when it comes to gender....2018 the year of him, her and they.....rant over, feel free to comment as I said this is my personal opinion on this.

[taetaesbffaaf]

What was the moment you fell for taetae? ^^

I don’t remember a single moment where I just, instantly fell in love. I think it’s more like, Kim Taehyung was like the moon above me? And I was accustomed to how beautiful he was, so ya know, it’s difficult to say, oh, this is the first time I saw the moon for what it really is, because idk, it’s kind of always been there, on the edge of my realization. But one day, I think? idk? I could just feel him, i could see hm for what he was, feel the influence ya know, he just? It’s not like looking up at the moon for the first time it’s more like, realizing that you love lookign at the moon, and seeking out a chance to look up at it even though it’s always been there and even though you always noticed it? idk. it’s hard to explain how I feel about Kim Taehyung. Imma be out here sounding like drunk poetry night tbh, I should stop myself. So instead of that, here i go.

5 things that made me fall for Kim TaeTae. (in no particular order)

The absolutely beautiful filial boy that he is. Seeing how much he loves his family and the very idea of family. This is a boy who wants a family of his own, when asked he said he’d like to marry the first person he fell in love with and stay with them for 80 years. He’s…he really is pure. He loves his parents so very much, he comes from such a loving, strong and grounded, warm place. He wants children of his own, he will always respect elders and love children. He’s just a good, filial, warm, loving man.

His passion, which comes from a happenstances and became his life. When I realized that this is a boy who didn’t plan on becoming a singer, he was just a man that wanted to grow up on his families farm, raise a bunch of kids and marry a person that he met when he was young and have 5 kids, 3 dogs, 2 turtles, 2 cats and some goats, tbh I kind of cried? it’s just really  beautiful, knowing that he fell into this life yet he embraces it so very much. He works so VERY hard for this life, he practices so hard sometimes he forgets to eat, he doesn’t get to see the family he loves so much, he may take years to fall in love, he may not have a big family for a long time. He gave up a lot to become V, but he still loves it so much. He’s willing to chase this dream because this dream chose him, and he’s not a man to half way do anything.

Kim Taehyung and his affinity for freaking cute lil animals. Tbh, this should just be Kim Taehyung and his affinity for loving everyone and everything as much as he can. He has SO much f^kning love to give he really does. The man is the most beautifully wholesome man in the entire world, he loves SO much, the purest heart in the entire world, ajkldsflkdsfjajdsfasdf GODh.

His stage presence, V. I really, really, really love this man’s stage presence. He’s, so, great. He’s so charismatic, he’s so strong, he always gives 110%. He always looks like he’s enjoying himself, and even if he isn’t (for instance after his grandmother passed away and he didn’t tell anyone, he suffered alone and quietly) he won’t show it. People take his professionalism for granted because he’s a smiley, silly and cute boy. He works fucking HARD. He works so hard. His stage persona is unshakable, and how much his vocals have improved? Murder me. He’s just so freaking hard working, sAVE ME.

His genuine ability to improve the lives of everyone around him. whether through his candid love and joy, his respectfulness and consideration for everyone, or just his ability to make people comfortable. When fans are upset he tries so hard to make them laugh and smile. when members are upset he watches closely, when they’re feeling sad he defends them. staff and other media? he appreciates them to their face, he thanks them carefully and joyfull for their work. other members? he loves them and appreciates them so much it’s SO painfully obvious.

Kim Taehyung is my entire world. I’m not trying to say that I love everything about him but…I do. I really do. I’d sell my soul so that he would never have to feel adversity or pain. I want only the happiest of happiness in his life, and I’ll support him until the end.