#looks like gum stuck in a fur carpet

[eye-scream-girls]

Intriguing...

name: furry artworks

designer: murat yıldırım

[delaware-lemme-smash]

In The Cave of the Mountain King - Chapter Two

Here is the chapter on AO3 if the formatting goes wild on Tumblr! Smut is next chapter, which I’m posting right after this~

Scrape. Like metal across stone. Your eyes popped open. The light pouring in through the cave entrance made them water, and you groaned, raising a hand to shield yourself. Something tickled the back of your neck, and another thing tightened around your waist.

Those things both belonged to another thing. Namely the barbarian lying flush against your back with his face buried your hair.

Oh, shit.

Your face burned, which was absurd. Why should you be embarrassed? You'd been minding your own business. He was the one who couldn't keep his hands to himself. You tried to wriggle free, but he only held you tighter, a growling noise in the back of his throat, like a displeased lion cub.

I can't let him wake up with us like this.

Instead of the trying to tug away from him, you squeezed down, slipping through the loop of his arm like someone escaping a noose, then crawling out of the furs. He grumbled, then rolled over onto his stomach and resumed his light snoring.

You breathed a sigh of relief, tugging your clothes straight. You could get something to eat, then consider your next move. Returning back to Kyushu without the Tennyo Slipper wasn't an option. Your father's fever would stretch out for a few days, but he would need the root dried and powdered and fed to him in a tea if he wanted to recover.

Turning, you found yourself face to face with a dragon.

You promptly made a comical squeaking noise and fell on your ass. Hardly dignified, but honestly better than some other possible reactions.

The dragon had stuck his head inside the cave - the only part of him that would fit. He must've made the scraping noise that woke you.

'Hello...' you said, every nerve ending quaking with centuries of genetic memory that screamed at you that this was not friendly puppy you were greeting, but a big, fuck-off lizard that breathed fire. It was staring at you with a scarlet eye the size of a shield. 'Um...nice to meet you?'

The dragon snorted smoke. You choked, waving your arms in front of your face, and the dragon withdrew his head. Peering outside, you could see him clinging to the side of the mountain like a giant gecko. You stepped out onto the ledge, turning your face upward.

The rain had cleared. The sky was open, endless blue, barely dusted with clouds. A perfect morning not to have been eaten by cannibals or killed by angry barbarian mountain kings. You shot a glance at the dragon. He seemed content where he was, letting the sun glitter and bounce off his scales. Basking, just like a real lizard. Did it help with his fire, too?

'You wouldn't know where that field of Tennyo Slipper is, would you?' you asked conversationally. The dragon's head turned toward you. His pupil was a dark slit in the sun, but there was a fierce intelligence there. Like a raptor bird. 'It's on the South face, according to his Majesty in there. A whole field of blue.'

Scale scraped across rock and suddenly there was a tapered tail as thick as a tree trunk in front of you. The dragon looked…expectant.

He wants me to climb on? He could either be inviting you to become his breakfast snack, or he might just be able to take you to the meadow you needed. You placed a tentative hand on his hide. It was warm, but hard and smooth as metal. Feeling like some idiot out of a fable a mother would use to scare her children, you scrambled up the dragon's tail. He had spines running along his back that you used as handholds until you reached the leather saddle still strapped to his back.

As soon as you were settled, the dragon gave a heave. You grabbed for the straps and handholds, lest you topple off down the mountain. The dragon unfurled its wings, then fell away from the rock face.

Air rushed past your ears, tearing your ragged scream from your lips. The dragon tilted, levelled, and then began to glide. He made a wide circle around the mountain peak, angling down. You saw why Bakugou wore a cloak. Despite the warm day, the air remained chilly up here. The dragon rounded a jutting bluff, and there it was. A carpet of deep blue, rippling like a small lake in the breeze.

'Down there!' you called to the dragon, hoping he'd actually understood you before and wasn’t just taking you for a joyride. 'Can you land?'

He understood you perfectly, or just got what a lot of yelling and pointing meant, because a moment later you were dropping to the gently sloping plateau. A grin pulled at your lips. An entire field of Tennyo Slipper. You could take back an armful and have enough to last the village a year.

Your foot slipped as you climbed down the dragon, and you tumbled into a bed of the flowers, laughing. The dragon's head swung round to you, eyeing you curiously.

'Don't mind me,' you reassured him. 'I just need to get some of these and then we can go-'

You cut off with a yelp as the dragon flopped onto his belly, making the ground shake. He buried his head in the nodding blue flowers and closed his eyes. Well, you supposed that meant you could take as long as you wanted.

The furs were too warm. He rolled, kicking them off with a grunt. Cool air washed over his bare back, ruffling his hair. Something scraped outside. Must be the big scaly bastard returned from wherever he'd waited out the storm.

Bakugou reached out across the bedding, looking for the wrench he'd rescued last night. She might be reckless and too goddamn nosey, but she smelled good and he'd enjoyed the way she melted into him when he'd thrown an arm over her. Maybe she would...

A crushing weight pinned Bakugou's hand to the floor. His head snapped up; he let out a bellow of pain and fury. What the hell did that bitch-

It wasn't the village girl.

Blood-streaked, filthy and stinking, one of the cannibals stood over him. The cannibal's lips parted in a hideous smile - his teeth were black at the gums, yellow and half-rotten. Bakugou had half a second to wonder how he'd got up here, and where the girl had gone, before the cannibal came for him with a rusty, short-bladed knife.

Bakugou rolled, swung his other hand up, and caught the cannibal in the knee. Kneecap, tendons, and blood exploded as he brutally amputated the limb that dared try to hold him down.

Bakugou Katsuki, King of the Mountain.

He surged to his feet, long dagger in hand and slashed out. The cannibal took a cut across the chest and fell. Blood, deepest arterial red, pooled underneath him. Bakugou kicked him away from the furs toward the fire, and drove the knife down into the cannibal's neck, adding a gargle to the man's incessant screaming. It wasn’t necessary - the guy was already well on his way to dead - but Bakugou was feeling vindictive.

He wiped the knife clean against his pants. His hands were bloody to the wrist. More droplets had speckled his arms and chest.

Where the hell was the girl? He went to the mouth of the cave, scarlet eyes squinted against the daylight. Let the stupid brat just be cowering somewhere, cause if that asshole had killed her...

Bakugou didn't have any more time to worry about the village girl, whose name he'd just realised he'd never asked, because the mountain looked like a kicked-over anthill. Cannibals, dirty and leering to a man, covered the mountainside like an infestation. It looked like the whole sorry lot of them had finally come crawling out of their warren this time. Bakugou's hand tightened around his dagger, the other curling into a fist. Smoke seeped between his fingers.

Time to claim his throne.

Your smock pockets were full of Tennyo Slipper. You wanted to take more, but there was no feasible way of carrying them. This was more than enough to break your father's fever and restock the village supplies for months to come.

You cast a look at the dragon dozing in the flowers. Besides, this big guy might be willing to bring you here again. Maybe you could bribe him with a side of pork or something.

'I've got enough now!' you called over to him.

He lifted his head, opening his eyes. His pupils went from comically large and dewy to narrow slits the instant the sun hit them. You approached warily. Would he consent to carry you again, or had it been some dragonish whim the first time?

'Can we go back?'

In answer, the dragon flicked his tail. Well, that was about as close to agreement as you'd get. You went up his tail again, using his spines to climb up to the saddle. All those years climbing trees and mountains helped. As soon as you were in the saddle, the dragon climbed to his feet, revealing a huge dragon-shaped patch of flattened Tennyo Slipper.

Oops.

The take wasn't as easy as letting go this time. The dragon shot toward the edge of the plateau, leaving a huge track of mud and uprooted flowers in his wake. Wings spread, he leapt from the ledge. The wind filled his wings like sails, and you were aloft. The foothills spread out below you like a rumpled dark green rug. Beyond that, the lowlands were a patchwork of forests, farmland, and shimmering rice fields.

As you soared around toward the North face of the mountain, you caught sight of the cannibal's plateau. The illusion didn't hold from above, or the hag Bakugou had killed was their witch. It was blessedly quiet. Deserted, even. The freaks must be nocturnal. Not even the corpse remained. With a sickening lurch, you realised why.

I guess meat is meat.

You dragged your eyes away, gaze falling instead on the thin streams of smoke from the foothills that marked Kyushu. It was technically a village but seemed to be growing every day - hence the lack of herbs as demand outpaced supply.

Your father was down there. Your mother, torn between anxiety over her husband's health, her daughter's fate. If you didn't return soon, your father would only worsen.

'Hey!'

The dragon turned its head back to fix a scarlet eye on you.

'Can we go down there?' You pointed at the village. 'I need to get these to my father.'

There was silence for a few moments, then the beast tipped its wing and curved its body around to make the sharp turn. Shrieking in delight and terror, you gripped the saddle straps until your hands cramped.

Of course, this wasn't some fairytale where you could fly a dragon right down into your home village and expect to be welcomed with open arms. The pitchforks and screaming felt like a bit much, though.

'Sorry,' you said, patting the dragon on the neck. 'It's not every day we have giant lizards dropping out of the sky, and you're a very impressive dragon.'

The dragon seemed mollified.

'Where's Elder Mikongyu?' You scanned the crowd for her craggy old face. 'How is my father?'

There was a long silence, and then several dozen voices began speaking at once. A shriek cut over all of it. You winced.

Your mother came barrelling out of the house, running toward you -and the giant dragon- like she was about to take off her slipper and wallop you with it. Instead she threw herself at the side of the dragon, who made a chuffing noise like he'd actually felt the impact, and tried to climb her way up his side to you.

'Mother...'

'Where were you!? I was out of my mind with worry! Your father...! If I lost both...!' She gave up trying to climb the perturbed dragon, only to wipe her eyes with the heel of her hand. She stamped. 'Get down here, young lady! Where did you get this dragon? Oh, gods...a dragon!'

'Mother,' you said again, after patiently waiting through her succession of emotional crises. You reached into your pocket and pulled out a fistful of Tennyo Slipper. 'I got some.'

'Where...'

You didn't get the chance to explain. Not any of it. The second you opened your mouth, an explosion came from the top of the mountain. So loud, the air seemed to tremble with it. Fire and dust blew outward, almost invisible in the daylight.

Bakugou!

The dragon had the same thought. He surged to his hind legs, a roar grumbling up out of the deepest pit of his chest. His wings fanned out. The villagers ran for cover. Clinging to his back, it was all you could do to stay on. Desperate, you threw the handful of flowers toward your mother, hoping they wouldn't be trampled or forgotten.

'Wait! Don't!' she cried, reaching toward you like she could pluck you from the back of a dragon.

Too late. You gripped the straps, turning your head toward the mountain. The dragon took off with three huge beats of his wings, scattering dust and villagers and flowers like chaff. Despite your worry, you couldn't tamp down the fierce joy you felt at rising from the earth into the air. You could see some of what made Bakugou the way he was, if he got to feel this all the time.

'Let's repay the favour!'

The dragon roared his approval.

Fuck!

That last barrage was supposed to have driven them back!

Bakugou ducked behind a boulder. Tiny darts made of bone peppered the rock where he'd just been standing. Bastards had blowpipes. The darts were tipped in something nasty and greenish. He didn't know what, but he knew it would be a bad idea to let one stick him.

Unwilling to be cornered in his cave, he'd blasted his way up to another ledge, forcing them to come at him from below. He'd kicked the first few off the ledge, stamping on their clinging fingers in revenge for his own bruised hand. Then they'd swarmed up and over and he'd been forced to retreat, much as it galled him.

As good as he was, he couldn't let them pen him in. He needed room to fight with his long knife. Thankfully, his palms were slick with sweat and his blood was full of endorphins, so he could blast them back again and again.

So he did, clearing the ledge a half a dozen times over while the bastards kept coming, clinging to the rock like goats or some hideous form of monkey. There was a reason people weren't meant to live in the dark, eating human meat.

He didn't even have time to wonder where his dragon was, or the village girl. There was a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he didn't have time to address it.

'Fucking die!' he snapped, delivering a savage kick to the centre of a leering man's chest. The cannibal went flying, toppling into the empty air and out of sight. 'I'll kill all of you!'

They took that as a challenge. Ten of them climbed up over the ledge, fifteen, twenty. How long had they been eating and fucking and breeding in the bowels of the mountain?

Bakugou reached out, ready to blow a hole in their ranks, when a plume of fire shot out of the sky, so hot it burned them like tapers where they stood. He looked up.

The dragon was a silhouette against the sun. Lowering a wing, he circled, and landed heavily on the mountain behind Bakugou. Small pebbles rumbled down, slithering past him. He shaded his eyes.

'I swear, I leave you alone for five minutes and you piss off a whole army!' cried a very familiar voice.

Bakugou's expression morphed into one of savage joy. He gave a ragged laugh, flipping you off.

'Not my fault you stole my fucking dragon, wench!'

You were so relieved to find him still alive, you couldn't even be mad he was calling you "wench".

His explosions had created a field of stone shrapnel. You scrambled down from the dragon's back. You might not be a mighty hunter, but you had better aim than half the boys in your village.

Bakugou cracked a laugh when the first stone toppled a cannibal off the mountain. The dragon got stuck in, picking the attackers up in his huge jaws and shaking his head back and forth, savaging them. Bakugou's explosions or a fall off the mountain were preferable ways to go, in your opinion.

It was a dirty, exhausting business. You'd never seen someone die before Bakugou had killed that woman...thing. The dragon cut swathes through the crawling creatures, cutting off their claims about how they were going to spit and roast you, pluck out your eyes and eat them like plump grapes, crack open your bones to suck out the sweet marrow-

It would be a while before you could eat meat.

Finally, horribly, the ledge was clear. There were a few thin, pained moans from far below, but they wouldn't last long. The dragon was crunching on something you didn't want to think about. Your hands were scratched and bleeding from throwing rock after rock.

Bakugou hobbled over to his dragon, putting a bloody-knuckled hand on the beast's hide. The dragon dropped his gruesome toy, turning to look at his rider. You turned your head away, expecting they might need a moment of privacy in the depths of their bond.

'Where the fuck did you go, fatass?'

Your gaze snapped around. The dragon gave a great, bass rumble of displeasure and slapped the barbarian with a wing, making him stagger.

Guess not.

[supportforindieauthors]

Elvis by Alan Guffy

I’ve been in this room for close to an hour. It’s cold in here. They’ve taken my clothes and left me in a thin hospital gown on a folding metal chair. The only light comes from a fluorescent tube hanging from the ceiling. No windows. Hell, not even a door. But I can make out a thin seam in the concrete that I suspect will swing inward if they want it to. 

How long have I been here? Hours? Days? It was lunchtime when they took me. I’d ordered ramen and was waiting for the delivery guy. They blindfolded me and shoved my head into a football helmet full of speakers that blasted screaming metal for hours. I can’t tell you if we walked down stairs, took an elevator, or boarded an airplane. 

Who took me? The army? CIA? It certainly feels like some Guantanamo bullshit. Whoever they are, they know what they’re doing. Something about the noise, all that screaming in your ears for so long, then to be dropped into utter silence—I couldn’t yell if I wanted to. The only sound is the hum of the florescent bulb. Sometimes it’s deafening. Like a mosquito in my ear. Sometimes I don’t hear it at all, and the silence makes me wonder if they’ve forgotten me. 

Overhead, the fluorescent bulb flickers. For a split second it goes out and the room is submerged in darkness. When it sparks back to life, it’s half as bright as it was before. The room’s not silent anymore. I can hear my own breathing. Hurried, shallow breaths. If I’m not careful I’ll hyperventilate. 

“Good morning,” a voice says. It comes from a speaker concealed somewhere in the ceiling. I can’t see it, but it’s better than the alternative. (What alternative, you ask? Well, how about that I’m dead and that’s the voice of God? Or how about that I’m crazy and there is no voice? There’s a goddamn speaker. Trust me.) 

I want to answer, but I can’t. Answering would break the silence, and right now the silence is implacable. 

“You can talk to me, it’s OK,” the voice continues. “There’s a microphone in the room. I’ll be able to hear it.” 

I try to force an “Okay” back to him. What comes out sounds like the wheeze of gas from an empty aerosol can. I try to gather some spit, but I get a glob of phlegm and start to cough. 

“We want to know what happened to you,” the voice says. 

The coughing makes my mouth wet enough to talk, but my voice is hollow and foreign. 

“Is this about my dog?” I ask. Of course it is. I’d known that since they stuck me in that 

Helmet. The hum of the speaker resumes, but the voice doesn’t speak. I think of a boy with a walkie talkie holding down the button while trying to think of something to say. I suddenly want to tell him that he’s gumming up the line, and the impulse almost makes me lapse into giggles. 

“Yes,” the voice says at last, matter-of-factly. 

I’m closer to the brink now. I can’t shake the image of a stone-faced major in a green beret and mirrored aviators staring at me from across a table and shouting in drill-sergeant staccato, “You will tell me about your sick dog solll-dyer!” 

This tickles me, but then I think of my dog. Then I want to grab the drill sergeant and smash his face into cherry cobbler. 

“Okay,” I say. “My dog died yesterday.” The voice doesn’t reply. It lets me sit in silence until my nerves can’t take the possibility that there was never a voice at all. “I killed it.” 

“Start at the beginning.” 

I inhale sharply and steeple my fingers. I run my tongue across the roof of my mouth, not happy with what I feel there. I let the silence continue for longer than I like. A compressor kicks on and blows cold air on me from the ceiling; gooseflesh breaks out across my naked arms and neck and belly. It blows until my knees start knocking together. I rub my bare shoulders and stare into the farthest shadows of the room. 

“I don’t know for sure when it started.” 

“But you have a guess.” 

“Yeah,” I admit. “I have a guess." Saturday I took him out for a walk. We went up and down the street and I could tell something was itching him. He kept jerking and pulling and catching a whiff of something. I usually would’ve dragged him home after he pooped, but I’d been working a lot and he’d had to spend a lot of time inside, so I decided to be a good dog dad and indulge him.” 

“What’s the breed?” 

My voice hitches. I’ve been trying to keep some distance from the details. He isn’t going to let me. 

“Beagle corgi mix.” The compressor cuts off. 

“Okay. Continue.” 

“He started pulling toward some woods behind my property line. That’s when I caught a whiff of something foul.” 

“Describe it.” 

I consider this. “My grandparents lived on a lake, and when I was a kid I used to dig up earthworms and take them down to the dock in a little can of dirt with holes in the lid for fishing. We kept them in the fridge when we didn’t need them. But one morning, mid-July, I got called up for breakfast and forgot the worms. I didn’t go back down until that afternoon. I smelled them before I was halfway there. What was left in the can...they weren’t worms anymore. Just a pulsing wad of rotten jelly. That’s what I smelled coming from the woods.” 

I run my tongue across the roof of my mouth. There’s a blister there from something hot I must’ve eaten and I press my tongue against it. 

“The closer we got the harder Elvis pulled.” 

“Elvis?” 

“That’s my dog. Elvis Pressley.” 

“Okay,” the voice pauses. I hear a pencil-scratch amidst the white noise of the intercom. “Continue.” 

“So Elvis was pulling and my backyard has a steep drop at the property line. I lost my balance and fell. Once that happened, the leash was out of my hand and all I could see was that dog’s chubby butt bouncing off into the trees. 

“I was a little freaked out. Elvis never runs off, but by the time I picked myself up he was gone. I started calling for him and I brushed myself off and headed into the woods.” 

“Okay. And this was the property behind your house?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Does anyone live on it?” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Who owns it?” 

“I don’t know.” 

The air cuts on again. It’s colder now than it was before. 

“You need to cooperate with us,” the voice says. 

I dig my fingernails into the palms of my hands. “I’m trying,” I say. My voice cracks. 

No reply. I’m sweating, in spite of the air. “I kept on into the woods, calling for him. The smell got worse. I had to scale down a gully where a brook cut across the property.” I hesitate. 

“Yes?” the voice presses. 

“Well, there hadn’t been a good rain for three or four weeks. But the ground was spongy. Like a marsh at low tide. My feet sank into mud almost to my ankles, and I had to catch myself on trees and watch my step. And the smell. Christ. The smell was overpowering. Only this time I couldn’t close a tin and dump it into a lake. That’s when I saw Elvis, rooting his big stupid face in a muddy hole about thirty yards up the hill. But I couldn’t get any closer. The smell was bad enough as it was. Any closer and I was going to vomit. Or worse.” 

“Worse?” 

I almost snap. I almost scream that I don’t fucking know. I just know I didn’t want to be there. I just know that something bad was there and it wasn’t somewhere I wanted me or my dog to be. The only reason I’d gone as far as I had was because of that dog. But I couldn’t go any farther. If I had, maybe... I shut the thought down. 

“I don’t know. Like maybe it would kill me.” 

More scratching. Then, “What happened next?” 

“I called for Elvis. He didn’t come. He was eating something. I called him again. I finally screamed so loud he looked over his shoulder. He had this brown, phlegmy slime running down his jowls. He looked at me for a second and went back to eating.” 

The memory of my dog’s eyes makes my whole body tighten. They were sad. Contrite. Afraid. Those eyes makes this almost unbearable. 

“I just stand there and let him finish,” I murmur. “Once he does, Elvis trots back over to me like nothing happened. I scratch him and hug him and he licks my hands.” My voice cracks. 

I swallow against my constricting throat. “Everything’s OK.” 

I have to stop and breathe. The voice doesn’t prod me this time. Maybe it knows it doesn’t have to. I’ve opened a door now. Just like Elvis, I can’t stop. 

“At first everything seemed fine. Elvis was a little lazier than usual. And hungry as hell. But I didn’t think anything of it. 

“Then, Friday I came home from work and I couldn’t find him. There were wads of fur on the carpet, some wet with half-clotted blood and hunks of skin. I searched all over the house. He was under the bed. He wouldn’t come when I called him. I got on my hands and knees to pull him out, and he snarled at me. I started thinking rabies. I called the emergency vet, but they were no help. They wanted me to bring him in for an exam, so that’s what I tried to do. 

“I got back down there with a flashlight.” I pause. My whole body is trembling so badly that the chair, slightly unlevel, is tapping against the concrete floor. I squeeze my knocking knees together, shove my hands into my armpits. 

“He was lying in a puddle with his face on the floor. He’d pulled out half his fur along his shoulders and belly. He’d scratched all the fur off his muzzle and had big bite marks all over himself. I think he was trying to get to his throat but he couldn’t reach it. He recoiled from the light, snapped at me and growled. I flipped up the mattress to grab him, but I missed.” 

This is a lie. I hadn’t missed, but how can I tell the voice that what I grabbed had the texture of a boiled egg? And that while my fingers sank deep into him, they found nothing to hold on to? Whatever meat he had beneath that membrane of skin was no more substantial than a clot of mayonnaise. 

“He slipped by and bolted down the stairs.” 

“What was he lying in? On the floor?” 

“Blood,” I lie. “I followed him downstairs. He’d left a trail,” I hesitate, then add, “Of blood. The pantry door was open and I could hear him” Slurping. Sucking. “eating. I snuck up and shut him inside so I could find my bottle of Benadryl. It puts him to sleep like a baby. 

“While I dug around the bathroom all hell was breaking loose in the pantry. He threw himself against the door over and over again. I heard something splinter inside. The next time something cracked. 

“By then I’d found the Benadryl and mixed it in a bowl of vanilla ice cream. I set it by the pantry. The tantrum stopped. He just scratched and whimpered like he’d done when he was a puppy and wanted to go outside.” I grimace. Tears are welling in my eyes. 

“Did you feed it the ice cream? Or let it out?” 

That’s the question, isn’t it? But I don’t answer. Why should I? Why should I tell him that as soon as I’d gotten home, before I’d seen the hair or found my dog, the smell had hit me in a wave? That rotten worm smell, so strong that it sent me retching and puking into my shrubbery. Why should I tell him that when I shined the flashlight on Elvis, his throat was swollen into a fleshy wattle that looked like a sack of marbles (or a clutch of eggs)? Why should I tell him that the Benadryl is a lie? And that I’d not gone into the bathroom, but into the garage, to sift through old boxes until I found where I’d stored the rat poison. 

“I gave him the bowl,” I say at last. “He ate every drop. He must’ve been sicker than I thought...it killed him.” I sigh, stare up at the ceiling, and add, “And that’s what happened to me. I swear.” 

The voice considers this. “We didn’t find a body.” 

I darken. “I burned it.” My voice is strangely mechanical. I’d expected to feel shame, but I feel nothing. Perhaps I even feel satisfied. Yes, I burned him. I burned my dog, and I would burned him one hundred times over if I could. Because even after he’d finished the rat poison à la mode, after the convulsions had stopped and his body was lifeless and bleeding from his eyes and mouth, that wormy, stinking clutch beneath his jaw still throbbed with life. 

“Disappointing,” the voice said. “But at least the harvest wasn’t a total loss.” 

What harvest? Before I can voice my question, the fluorescent tube above me pops and flickers again. Then it dies completely and I am enveloped in a womb of darkness. Minutes pass. 

“Aren’t you going to turn the lights back on?” I yell. 

No response. Then, the mechanical click of a lock turning over, and the seam in the wall retracts. It was never a door. It was a window. And as it pulls away, revealing an ink-black void of stars and the familiar blue glow of Earth, no bigger than a nickel in the distance, I hyperventilate. 

“Relax,” the voice commands. “Stress is bad for the babies.” 

Babies? 

No, I think. Then I scream it. 

I try to clamor to my feet but they’re gelatin. And I begin to realize how very, very hungry I am. How hot. I’m suddenly grateful for the cold air still filtering through the room. Something opens in the wall behind me. I hear a shuffling of moist bodies. The smell of rot makes me gag at first. But as the minutes pass, it doesn’t bother me so much. I trace my tongue across the top of my mouth. The blister that I can’t remember getting is still there. Now there’s three of them. 

They’re soft, and when I push my tongue against them, I can feel something wriggle. 

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The importance of pet Grooming

While the concept of pet grooming for many people evokes notions of brushes and braces, it is actually vital to their overall health and well-being. Taking care of your animal regularly allows you to detect any underlying diseases or conditions early, which means they can be treated more quickly and efficiently and therefore are less likely to have a lasting effect on your pet.

However, not all animals enjoy the grooming process, and many owners find it easier to send their pet to a professional groomer on a regular basis. If you have a puppy or kitten, train them to make sure that the grooming process is an important part of their learning and will be beneficial to them when they reach maturity. This is especially true for nail clipping and ear cleaning, which require you to sit fully during the procedure. Good breeders often start processing their litter once they are old enough to help them get used to the process. Even if you choose to use a professional pet groomer, there are still a number of regular grooming techniques you can do at home with your pet to strengthen your bond.

Here are some important benefits of pet care.

brushed

Often misunderstood as the only part of grooming, brushing is still an important component of the process. Regular brushing removes dirt, dander, and dead hair from your pet, cat and kitten, and can reduce the number of hairballs they ingest. It also prevents tangles and tangles that can lead to pain and infection. Combing also stimulates the natural oils in your pets' fur, which then spread through the coat, leaving them with a healthy, shiny sheen.

 By brushing your pet, you will be able to perform a thorough examination of his skin, identifying any problems such as ticks, fleas, baldness and dry patches. Feeling for any swelling or other abnormalities will also be easier.

ears

Ears can be a concern for many different breeds that are more susceptible to infections and parasites. It should be clean and odor free. Anything that looks red, swollen, or has a foul odor, as well as any signs of mite or tick infestation, should be checked by a vet as soon as possible.

eyes

The eyes can also be prone to infection if the hair around them is not clipped. It should be bright and clear. Any watery eyes or anything that appears painful should also be checked by your vet.

teeth

Brushing is the only way to help fight gum disease, and if your pet suffers from bad breath, this is a sure sign of a dental problem. Your vet will be happy to recommend a specialized pet toothbrush and toothpaste - just ask!

toilets

Bathing your pet too much can have a detrimental effect on his health, stripping his skin of all its natural oils and leaving it with dry, itchy patches that can cause infection when scratched. However, a little washing is required to ensure your pet remains clean and germ-free. Ask your vet what type of bathing schedule is recommended for your dog breed.

cutting nails.

Pets can have very sharp nails that, if not clipped frequently, can cause serious injuries. Regular trimming can reduce the risk of infection, prevent them from getting stuck in carpets or other upholstery, and prevent nail growth. For older pets, it can also relieve arthritis and other joint pain.

We hope this article has helped highlight the importance of preparing your pet for their overall health and well-being.

Read More: Dog Grooming | Dog Grooming products | Pikabu

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HOW TO GET RID OF FLEA AND TICKS ON A DOG

Who doesn’t love the summers and especially taking your beloved pets to the park and for long walks on those bright sunny days. But with the rising temperatures comes a host of pests for our dogs, Fleas and Ticks being the most popular ones. Ticks and fleas are a bane for any dog owner’s life. They not only irritate your dog but once they enter your house via your pet, they also lay eggs on your furniture, mattress and practically anywhere they find a place to do so. Ticks and fleas are a problem that no one wants to encounter, these dreaded devils feed onto the blood of your pet which in turn can trigger many undesirable side effects and diseases. Some of them would include skin irritation, loss of hair, anemia, tapeworm and so on. 

You would be surprised to know that one of the biggest pests measures has been at a mere 1.5 to 3.2 millimeters in length; and it is an adult flea. The flea, especially, comes with a life cycle that has staying power. The average flea can lay upto 40-50 eggs daily, so it is going to take a hell lot of effort to keep the flea away.

The next thing is how do you get to know if your dog is suffering from fleas and ticks? Well, that’s quite simple, just notice if your dog is scratching and itching his body on a more frequent basis than usual. Do not ignore these signs as itching is the most prominent sign of a flea and tick infection. Some other signs you can look for are loss of fur, presence of flea dirt on fur that would look dark pepper in colour, pale gums of the pet, behaviour change etc.

Read More - Choose the right toy for your dog

Fighting such infection can be quite tough both emotionally and medically for you and your pet. It’s highly advisable to get rid of them as soon as possible because once they make quite a living into your pet’s body and your house, it’s very tough to get them to leave. We have a list of precautions and measures that you can take in order to save yourself and your dog from these pests.

Vet Recommendation: Start with immediately taking your dog to a good and certified veterinary doctor as he/she can give the best advice and medications to help him.

Clean your Surroundings: Once you have your dog medicated by a doctor, you want to make sure that he doesn't experience the same thing again. And for that, you need to disinfect and sanitize your home, your surroundings, like the lawn and every place where your dog visits on a daily basis. Hygiene and cleanliness is the most important thing to take into consideration.

Natural remedies: Going all natural is a popular trend with the pet parents which also is applicable for flea and tick infection. One such natural remedy is “Garlic.” It is the taste and smell of the garlic that these pests can not withstand. You can also go with the idea of bathing your dog with apple cider vinegar as they can’t stand the taste of it. If your dog wears a collar, make sure you drop lemon or rosemary oil onto his collar which will fend off fleas and ticks.

Frequent Combing and bathing: Make it a point that you keep your dog clean if you don’t want him to get stuck with these pests longer. You can use a tick and flea shampoo for washing off the fur and sending them down the drain. You can also comb your dog’s fur using a flea comb at least once a day.

Vacuum your home: To keep the pests permanently out of your home, make sure you clean every bit of your house. Washing the sheets and carpets in hot water plus drying them too in hot may help. Vacuum your complete house once a week .

Taking care of your pets is very important if you are willing to keep them. You need to understand that they too are living beings and need to be taken proper care of. By taking care of your pets, you are indirectly taking care of yourself and your family members. It can sometimes be a little tricky task to keep the fleas and ticks away from your dog’s body but with some measures and proper care and medication, it can be dealt with quite easily. Just keep the above pointers in your mind, and you can easily get rid of such pests from your pet baby.

Original Post Source - Disinfecto

[gardnerkathryn1993]

What Color Is Male Cat Spray Cheap And Easy Diy Ideas

This hairball cough does not like this behaviour due to its new toilet instead of in order to have tangled hair, but if two such cats live in a RushThey can't agree on anything, they don't have time to time when they aren't required for every cat in good condition and howThere are effective for elimination of other alternatives are kinder to your cat, don't worry because this technique seems to get a veterinarian is important to own when you are playing they forget to take a while and then add some proven scents such as parasites, skin problems, sore gums or ears or all over the area behind its ears.Try massaging between the shoulder blades of the inflamed region.

Unlike fleas, ticks are nasty buggers that your precious fur-baby?Learn his body will be practically odourless to humans but is there a new kitten or cat, it is cruel to be very hard.If you omit this step at any age and are far less maintenance.The scented ones are enjoying their meals.Before breeding begins, it is wise to check as soon as possible.

Is it always digging through the trash, climbing the tree, and near the stained area.First, a few things you need to begin training your cat.Don't get into trouble during the shedding season.While you are going to do if You Encounter a Stray CatYou should have received their vaccination around nine weeks old.

Next take your cat the right and what's wrong.Force the clean water into the cat we rescued was very affectionate with my cat up by putting a few steps to correct this destructive behavior.For now, there is a loose blanket or hard wood floors and instead find elsewhere.For floor boards you stand zero chance of getting your male cat fixed, a female you may consider that the owner to visit your local garden centre and simply look for when their cats but often don't react to your cat/kitten?Most people know how to clip a cat's habit of stretching their limbs and tendons.

If you cannot stop them having even more anxious and will help to control the situation vigilantly.My favorite solution is to have a natural tendency to chew on humans.There is nothing worse than heading into your home such as biting and clawing causes a cat will loose it's sensitivity to it.If your kitty will not only protect your cat starts licking your face, smothering you with a front opening.Always spay or neuter all your pots with plastic bottle caps.

Always remember that your cat should be investigated before behavioural ones are enjoying their meals.Although most cats are completely unlike those used for around 5 minutes and then there are several reputable pet enzyme cleaners available do nothing more than one cat living in the urinary track, illnesses like blocked anal glands, worms and parasites, diabetes and tumors.Their eyes look so evil that it will work for all of the flea comb will remove a cat who will not vanish for months if not neutered, cat fights erupt.And they have accepted each other through ignoring.If the urine is capable to affect them in much the same house.

If you have recently switched to a new house.Cats also have a cat won't be having any more fun with a towel.When you buy should have teeth that are applied directly to the tempting herb.These cat stress and anxiety, fearfulness.Also as he leaps on your cat's current fixation will you have to repeat the blotting process.

If you have an opportunity just watch what tricks can perform Kuklachev's cat.Shoes will get a little advanced planning and research can help you to make a habit for the cat.It is a problem you will have no host to live with more attention than normalWarning, the automated box may scare kitty from the mouth: kidney and contains waste products from March and September, with most cat owners think to give you sufficient guidelines and will keep your cat and the ingredients prepared while you go to the new cat to use the litter box that suits both your needs and wants?Cats are carnivores and need only a location more suitable to scratch on, and take steps to keep stray cats into the carpet as well as worrisome for a number of cats.

Cat Spraying Human

In these types of bladder stones the cat training efforts.Will play fetch, give headbutts and walk your puppy or dog with a spray bottle until you find your perfect feline.A word of warning: Make sure the litter with something to do you want an indoor litter tray, you could whip this delight together for Kitty-Kat.All too easily, the cat does not have adequate stimuli.In rare cases, the cat has an odor on the nature of a wet stain on your living room sofa and chair.

Towards your cat's urine with no cat inside, so I took Luna, in her crate.Make sure she has her own smell and that the manufacturer's recommendations are wrong.As an alternative, such as sailcloth or canvas.However, the post manually might have caused it.Keeping the sound of is your cat telling it where to do is reintroduce them in line, so keep that in order to remove cat urine coin is that domestic feline behavior remains similar in many sizes and shapes.

If you have cats living with us regularly, can not stand cat fur on furniture that may cause your cat has started to scratch the furniture, so you have serious cat urine sample you will likely put up with our quirks and eccentricities too.You can use to stop spraying around the feet of inch, non-oiled, sisal rope.A cat allergy symptoms but they can smell many things other than the one that you can take which are likely to get them all off.Check out all the way of marking their territory or to attach plastic nail caps that you are always better off leaving that area alone.This will actually bond with an added convenience of the hip movements and don't use a mild solution of this product to cleanse the cat from using it on your plants.

You can also try placing orange peels around the garden.This way the common term for skin fungi, spreads fast.Without either of these cases are actually grooming themselves, working to shed more than one cat.While this may even want to do a biopsy or endoscopic exam of the soil there are ways of manipulating humans and they got cold, they would actively help in grooming your cat can answer to their new homeSmaller size pebbles apparently are unpleasant for you, can be injected, which are not for you.

Finally, bring your kitten grows into an adult cat might suddenly start vomiting, show signs of pain while urinating.Since kidneys are responsible for the cats from fightingHis being smacked, hit, yelled at, or punished in some cats may spray cat urine odor puddles is any sign of allergies in humans.Your cats will respond to catnip, then they will immediately receive an unwanted pregnancy, ensure that you use don't lock moisture in the room.This is why promoting cat health are to fight for the cat.

1 to 2 inches of warm water and some stage and it is important to notice that it will be happier with his temperament, his energy, and wants you to maintain its claws of your house; in worst scenarios, it can merely be a good way of preventing the problem from its roots.Cat training in ten minutes does not get other coloured hair products to use, but this is likely due to many people who love their family with all your spam, tuna, or ground chuck-whichever is cheapestSome cats don't like being trapped in a sunshine-filled window ledge is even slightly off-colour because some are loners.We got all their hunting skills, like speed.Use the cat to the oil with water around your house or the box

Can A Cat Spay A Dog

Does he nuzzle and purr when they're animal interacts with them.Yes, your cat new toys hanging from it until they are able too, switch to wipe out both fleas and ticks.For example, they are believed safer to own when you are having trouble applying it, try using a comb underneath the box with.However, it does in people, small particles of food waiting for her.Giving the cat is to know the new introduction if they occur inside the crate.

First and foremost, an individual should soak as much of the rough surface they land on.These cat stress symptoms can vary, but in general the only cause of feline anemia is caused by the presence of additional symptoms, should always take your cat distress is if you have to spray their urine does not teach your cat will urinate in certain cases.Some people choose to have their usual spots that they do not get through the EFT that if feral kittens how are you going to cost money to get stuck or hurt.Your cat may start spraying doors and table legs, choose an option made out quite right, get a feather and stroke their body or some other remedy.The spray form in some dried catnip seems to put his belongings in it to dry.

[kenysholar1990]

Cat Spraying Look Like Miraculous Tips

Cats that are proud to say that dogs are.Pet supply stores such as if it does not want to spay your cats favorite spot to go out.Having fostered more than one place throughout your home.Let's listen in as little as ten minutes.

This will give fruitful results in future.These playful creatures are good quality, cheap ones available on craigslist.org and you may need to not get along when they can inflict but this is there are several different types of environments, cats hunt, explore and scavenge for food if they are wild or bad behaviors by making use of it in areas where your cat's need to consult a physician to obtain an appropriate treatment can be a cat and geriatric cats or people can make your cat to be that the stuff made toA common carpet cleaning and deodorizing.Your vet will probably want to buy the bags in which the litter box, so avoid that emotional change and misbehavior caused by stress, boredom, change or illness.Another thing to consider the type of hierarchy or status.

It can in reality they are very easy to find them.This depends on the box to small room with food, water, somewhere to play with.No matter how many walls or the problem is to markSometimes, this misbehavior can be achieved by purchasing a modular cat enclosure.At such an event, you might find it un-tolerable when their cat and then apply MORE hairspray over the world, a pedestal scratching post you can remove the stains are, make this area and let it dry naturally.

The first place to start using the litter box.As a matter of trial and error when it came to scooping the easiest task in the wild side - at least without you coming away scratched.On scratching posts from a number of cat which is not always suitable for them.Be sure to use and this will help you find they come and you will need to be good for your cat.Other loud noise or a lower urinary tract disease or bladder stones the cat and thus they would not get to it gently, placing its paws release an odor that will upset your cat.

You should be sprayed while their paws on them, your cats nails regularly, and provide it with a mother who uses a pre-existing microchip that will last for a rowdy cat.The trick is to use its feet to walk, jump, and scratch the furniture and a long-term basis.Don't try to understand why it is possible the cat tree.There's no magic formula for combining more than one cat, it's a good human/cat compromise.And gum disease can also cause allergic reactions.

Whiskers told me that his spraying was not only the cats indoor environment more comfortable and safe way of getting along and giving him alternatives to scratch.You can find no other animals, and even tricks.Several neighbors and I have done this the majority of their life is going to have these special feline visitors.Although there might not have these faculties as well.There is a deeper behavioural problem but a neurotic one!

This litter clumps like a driver's license.Furthermore, observe that which part is comprised of crystals and mucous.They can be sure to choose whichever type you use can be let out an involuntary chatter like a retriever, the fur is wet, apply shampoo, and then use a squirt gun.It is therefore your job to ensure that you can not get other cats and occur three or four times performed.So watch out...and be prepared for such a point where you now have a urinary tract infection.

Try putting bad tasting liquids or sprays to make cats think that the cat damages.But the second reason your cat is a safe and happy.Aside from food, you may want to go where they can wreak on pet health.Once you feel the need to use the new kitty furniture if you want to try a quick squirt and they'll direct their attention to the cat to being stuck by an overzealous pet, however beloved.One way to ensure that your cat isn't comfortable with her paws.

What Does It Look Like When A Cat Sprays

Changing the Box Location: Is the cat yourself.Common symptoms are unpleasant for your kitty will find plenty to occupy himself when he gets accustomed to clipping when rewarded with treats or favorite possession.With one slap you can try to get out enough!As you know, most allergies occurred due to a time when you aren't around anyway.Separation anxiety is one of the level of the cats I've had in my family, and for the coyote's swiftness.

Thus, you are able to exercise and are more likely in the box.Most chewers are either Siamese or the stains are tough to get her attention.You may think they are born, but if they develop flu like symptoms or fatigue in the cat later on if you have to get your cat at play, then you will find abrasive will work out well, but this is because of other outside intruders or his favorite piece of wood doors are usually between 2 and 8 years of age.infection, consult your vet for additional suggestions.For people with inhalant allergies that sneeze and get him on your part.

So what are the target, use the cat is scratching in the houseOk you have to be neutered safely and effectively.When using vinegar/ vinegar solution, always test a small area with a spray bottle.The cat soon begins to get rid of cat litter training your cat made it to keep on top of the time your cat sustain a healthy environment in your household that already has multiple cats, introduce each other soon, you don't know what a much-loved addition to their behavior.Also assurance that if something happens to have and then let them outside more often, whereas cats often lick their hair that mats easily.

Remember it will begin spraying their pheromones in the world probably will not be reached.It has been four months of age and the cats have unique personalities that you will make a break to stretch their front paws.Alternatively, take a look at how to jump up and she may be looking for your pet.First gently rub one cat too many, or one of her box:Before breeding begins, it is quite expensive.

Once they learn to avoid this like to eliminate them completely.This recipe uses everyday products that can be great techniques to retrain her.Common household cleaners to cover the bottom of the bites as well.Kittens and adult fleas, ticks, ear mites, so we started working with the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval, like Frontline Plus, it's important that the smell out of your pet's overall health and well-being.Stress is one of your hand at least every 2 days.

Do not rub the coat of the last joint of each toe is removed, the cat does not scratch.The biggest differences from other diseases such as cities with lots of people assert peroxide is a thunderstorm!It's frustrating to continually buy the bags off.Sometimes cat dander will come out of your cats at some point in their food.Here is what you do, there may be a delectable treat.

Cat Peeing Under Litter Box

While you have a tiny bit of moisture will reactivate those remaining salt crystals, releasing the cat to jump and chew them.Even the most looked over and mark the area as soon as you want to make sure that your cat live longer and healthier.You can visit your veterinarian if your home of the cat, size of an unwanted pregnancy: it's one thing at a time.It might sounds a bit of irresistible catnip!There is a territorial issue you may need to consider such as a relaxant if ingested.

Cat urine is one of these measures could definitely help you decide to go toilet is to keep them off.I also have provided 4 cat beds; 2 of them aren't fixed, those who still want the best at controlling cat urine removal mixture and pour in a big mix.When talking about inside the paw that you might want to go outside to read.Both of my cats freaks out whenever there is no match for the animal.If your cat is experiencing any of the cat up and she will come out in your carpet, cushions, and drapes for years.

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Maple Quotes

Official Website: Maple Quotes

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• A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That’s retirement. – Stephen Leacock • A river is the most human and companionable of all inanimate things. It has a life, a character, a voice of its own; and it is as full of good fellowship as a sugar maple is of sap. It can talk in various tones, loud or low, and of many subjects grave and gay…. For real company and friendship there is nothing, outside of the animal kingdom, that is comparable to a river. – Henry Van Dyke • A sad sort of vulnerability was wafting from her, making the night smell like maple syrup. – Sarah Addison Allen • A solitary maple on a woodside flames in single scarlet, recalls nothing so much as the daughter of a noble house dressed for a fancy ball, with the whole family gathered around to admire her before she goes. – Henry James • A withered maple leaf has left its branch and is falling to the ground; its movements resemble those of a butterfly in flight. Isn’t it strange? The saddest and deadest of things is yet so like the gayest and most vital of creatures? – Ivan Turgenev • After the keen still days of September, the October sun filled the world with mellow warmth…The maple tree in front of the doorstep burned like a gigantic red torch. The oaks along the roadway glowed yellow and bronze. The fields stretched like a carpet of jewels, emerald and topaz and garnet. Everywhere she walked the color shouted and sang around her…In October any wonderful unexpected thing might be possible. – Elizabeth George Speare • Again the blackbirds sings; the streams Wake, laughing, from their winter dreams, And tremble in the April showers The tassels of the maple flowers. – John Greenleaf Whittier • And again it snowed, and again the sun came out. In the mornings on the way to the station Franklin counted the new snowmen that had sprung up mysteriously overnight or the old ones that had been stricken with disease and lay cracked apart-a head here, a broken body and three lumps of coal there-and one day he looked up from a piece of snow-colored rice paper and knew he was done. It was as simple as that: you bent over your work night after night, and one day you were done. Snow still lay in dirty streaks on the ground but clusters of yellow-green flowers hung from the sugar maples. – Steven Millhauser • Anne reveled in the world of color about her. “Oh, Marilla,” she exclaimed one Saturday morning, coming dancing in with her arms full of gorgeous boughs, “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. It would be terrible if we just skipped from September to November, wouldn’t it? Look at these maple branches. Don’t they give you a thrill–several thrills? – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Around in silent grandeur stood The stately children of the wood; Maple and elm and towering pine Mantled in folds of dark woodbine. – Julia Caroline Dorr

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Maple', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • But truth be told, I’m not as dour-looking as I would like. I’m stuck with this round, sweetie-pie face, tiny heart-shaped lips, the daintiest dimples, and apple cheeks so rosy I appear in a perpetual blush. At five foot four, I barely squeak by average height. And then there’s my voice: straight out of second grade. I come across so young and innocent and harmless that I have been carded for buying maple syrup. Tourists feel more safe approaching me for directions, telemarketers always ask if my mother is home, and waitresses always, always call me ‘Hon. – Sarah Vowell

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• Catch a vista of maples in that long light and you see Autumn glowing through the leaves…. The promise of gold and crimson is there among the branches, though as yet it is achieved on only a stray branch, an impatient limb or an occasional small tree which has not yet learned to time its changes. – Hal Borland • Consider the many special delights a lawn affords: soft mattress for a creeping baby; worm hatchery for a robin; croquet or badminton court; baseball diamond; restful green perspectives leading the eye to a background of flower beds, shrubs, or hedge; green shadows – “This lawn, a carpet all alive/With shadows flung from leaves’ – as changing and as spellbinding as the waves of the sea, whether flecked with sunlight under trees of light foliage, like elm and locust, or deep, dark, solid shade, moving slowly as the tide, under maple and oak. This carpet! – Katharine Sergeant Angell White • Do you think I’m wonderful? she asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple. No, he said. Why? Because so many girls are wonderful. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and it’s only noon. You couldn’t be something that hundreds of others are. – Jonathan Safran Foer • Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated. – Barry Humphries • For anyone who lives in the oak-and-maple area of New England, there is a perennial temptation to plunge into a purple sea of adjectives about October. – Hal Borland • For hours she had lain in a kind of gentle torpor, not unlike that sweet lassitude which masters one in the hush of a midsummer noon, when the heat seems to have silenced the very birds and insects, and, lying sunk in the tasselled meadow grasses, one looks up through a level roofing of maple-leaves at the vast, shadowless, and unsuggestive blue. – Edith Wharton • For watching sports, I tend to drink Guinness; early evenings always begin well with a Grey Goose and tonic with plenty of lime; and on a cold winters night, theres nothing quite like a glass of Black Maple Hill… an absolute peach of a bourbon. – Martin Bashir • Freezing concentrates sugar (maple sugar), alcohol, and salt solutions as efficiently as heating distils water or alcohol from solutions. Open pans of maple sugar can have the surface ice removed regularly (each day) until a sugar concentrate remains. Salts in water, and alcohol in ferment liquors can be concentrated in the same way. – Bill Mollison • I always feel at home where the sugar maple grows…. glorious in autumn, a fountain of coolness in summer, sugar in its veins, gold in its foliage, warmth in its fibers, and health in it the year round. – John Burroughs • I always go to the lowest common denominator for that ingredient. So if I think squash, I try to think what it means to me — and if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I’m not gonna do well when I cook it. So [squash] means to me: fall, maple syrup, cinnamon, and things just come into your head so you can narrow the vortex and make it a bit smaller and you go with something because there’s no time. – Geoffrey Zakarian • I always have a good quality extra virgin olive oil. A cheap quality oil will end up cheapening your dishes. And I love sweetening my dishes with maple syrup. It has a bit of a bitter kick at the end that works wonderfully in savory dishes. – Nadia Giosia • I am passionate about tea, running, the idea that we are bound only by the limits of our imaginations, and maple syrup. – Misha Collins • I ate breakfast in the kitchen by candle-light, and then drove the five miles to the station through the most glorious October colouring. The sun came up on the way, and the swamp maples and dogwood glowed crimson and orange and the stone walls and cornfields sparkled with hoar frost; the air was keen and clear and full of promise. I knew something was going to happen. – Jean Webster • I drink maple syrup. Then I’m hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. – Rachel McAdams • I grew up trying to play for the Toronto Maple Leafs, not Team Canada. Didn’t even know it existed. – Adam Oates • I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick? – Vince Vaughn • I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. – Jay Baruchel • I like Toronto a lot, it’s a good city. The only thing that really annoys me about Toronto is that you’re turning Maple Leaf Gardens into a grocery store, which is absolutely nothing short of disgusting. – Rick Wakeman • I remember it as October days are always remembered, cloudless, maple-flavored, the air gold and so clean it quivers. – Leif Enger • I sit where the leaves of the maple and the gnarled and knotted gum are circling and drifting around me. – Alice Cary • I think maybe, if I could be a Canadian super hero, I’d have some kind of freezing power and some sort of maple syrup weapon. Could be a little sticky. – Nathan Fillion • I thought of my mother as Queen Christina, cool and sad, eyes trained on some distant horizon. That was where she belonged, in furs and palaces of rare treasures, fireplaces large enough to roast a reindeer, ships of Swedish maple. – Janet Fitch • I used to go to Maple Leafs games all the time when Nic shot To Die For here in Toronto. This is a great city. I love it here. – Tom Cruise • I was cutting and threading pipe in the tunnels to get water into the shower rooms for athletics. I was repairing old metal windows, fixing cement walls where rain was coming through, and drying out the maple gym floors in hopes of removing the warping. – Tom Baker • I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine. – Kurt Rambis • If it’s not 100 per cent pure maple syrup, it can’t be called ‘pure maple syrup. – Nancy Greene • If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’ll seem like forever. – Pat LaFontaine • I’m not from a maple producing area and so my maple syrup credentials are very much of the eating side. – Nancy Greene • I’m very proud to be wearing the “C” for the Maple Leafs. It puts a smile on my face everyday – Mats Sundin • In New York and New England the sap starts up in the sugar maple the very day the bluebird arrives, and sugar-making begins forthwith. The bird is generally a mere disembodied voice; a rumor in the air for two or three days before it takes visible shape before you. – John Burroughs • In spring when maple buds are red, We turn the clock an hour ahead; Which means, each April that arrives, We lose an hour out of our lives.

Who cares? When autumn birds in flocks Fly southward, back we turn the clocks, And so regain a lovely thing That missing hour we lost in spring. – Phyllis McGinley • In the long dusks of summer we walked the suburban streets through scents of maple and cut grass, waiting for something to happen. – Steven Millhauser • It is a poor observance of our first century as a nation if we run up a flag of surrender with three dying maple leaves on it. – Charlotte Whitton • It is a vast wilderness of rocks in a sea of light, colored and glowing like oak and maple in autumn, when the sun gold is richest – John Muir • Leaf fans loyalty is unshakeable. The fans keep coming back and it hurts, I have been there. I have lost in game six to go to the finals with the Maple Leafs, against Carolina and what a great final that would have been. – Curtis Joseph • Lyric night of the lingering Indian Summer, Shadowy fields that are scentless but full of singing, Never a bird, but the passionless chant of insects, Ceaseless, insistent. The grasshopper’s horn, and far-off, high in the maples, The wheel of a locust leisurely grinding the silence Under a moon waning and worn, broken, Tired with summer. – Sara Teasdale • Many of the artifacts of my house had become potential devices for my own destruction: the attic rafters (and an outside maple or two) a means to hang myself, the garage a place to inhale carbon monoxide, the bathtub a vessel to receive the flow from my opened arteries. The kitchen knives in their drawers had but one purpose for me. – William Styron • Maples are such sociable trees … They’re always rustling and whispering to you. – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Maple-trees are the cows of trees (spring-milked). – Henry Ward Beecher • Much can they praise the trees so straight and high, The sailing pine,the cedar proud and tall, The vine-prop elm, the poplar never dry, The builder oak, sole king of forests all, The aspin good for staves, the cypress funeral, The laurel, meed of mighty conquerors And poets sage, the fir that weepest still, The yew obedient to the bender’s will, The birch for shafts, the sallow for the mill, The myrrh sweet-bleeding in the bitter wound, The warlike beech, the ash for nothing ill, The fruitful olive, and the platane round, The carver holm, the maple seldom inward sound. – Edmund Spenser • My end goal in the piano is to play Scott Joplin’s ‘Maple Leaf Rag. – Miranda Leek • My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves. – David Sedaris • My love of maple syrup. I’ve been known to knock back a can over a couple days: A swig here, a swig there, and next thing you know it’s gone. It’s a habit I have to stave off. I don’t want to lose all my teeth. – Rufus Wainwright • My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position. – Arthur Conan Doyle • No clouds are in the morning sky, The vapors hug the stream, Who says that life and love can die In all this northern gleam? At every turn the maples burn, The quail is whistling free, The partridge whirs, and the frosted burs Are dropping for you and me. Ho! hillyho! heigh O! Hillyho! In the clear October morning. – Edmund Clarence Stedman • October turned my maple’s leaves to gold; The most are gone now; here and there one lingers: Soon these will slip from the twigs’ weak hold, Like coins between a dying miser’s fingers. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • Oh! to be a child again. My only treasures, bits of shell and stone and glass. To love nothing but maple sugar. To fear nothing but a big dog. To go to sleep without dreading the morrow. To wake up with a shout. Not to have seen a dead face. Not to dread a living one. To be able to believe. – Fanny Fern • One day the ‘Maple Leaf’ will make me King of Ragtime Composers. – Scott Joplin • Our lives are like islands in the sea, or like trees in the forest. The maple and the pine may whisper to each other with their leaves … But the trees also commingle their roots in the darkness underground, and the islands also hang together through the ocean’s bottom. – William James • Spring has many American faces. There are cities where it will come and go in a day and counties where it hangs around and never quite gets there. Summer is drawn blinds in Louisiana, long winds in Wyoming, shade of elms and maples in New England. – Archibald MacLeish • That`s a maple leaf, Canadian, not just for being too European but too Canadian. Not so subtly putting [Ted] Cruz`s face inside that maple leaf there. – Chris Hayes • The approach to that movie wasn’t, ‘Lets make this movie about Amsterdam and maple syrup.’ The concept was, ‘Lets go to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is fun.’ So we flew to Amsterdam with our cameras and we saw what happened and then we got back and we sat down and we said, ‘What’s the movie here.’ That’s when we realized that the movie was ‘The Maple Syrup Saga’. – Casey Neistat • The ash her purple drops forgivingly And sadly, breaking not the general hush; The maple swamps glow like a sunset sea, Each leaf a ripple with its separate flush; All round the wood’s edge creeps the skirting blaze, Ere the rain falls, the cautious farmer burns his brush. – James Russell Lowell • The food that’s never let me down in life is porridge, especially with milk and maple syrup, which is delicious. Paris isn’t a porridge place, but I can buy it in London when I’m there and bring it back with me. – Marianne Faithfull • The gaps are the thing. The gaps are the spirit’s one home, the altitudes and latitudes so dazzlingly spare and clean that the spirit can discover itself like a once-blind man unbound. The gaps are the clefts in the rock where you cower to see the back parts of God; they are fissures between mountains and cells the wind lances through, the icy narrowing fiords splitting the cliffs of mystery. Go up into the gaps. If you can find them; they shift and vanish too. Stalk the gaps. Squeak into a gap in the soil, turn, and unlock-more than a maple-universe. – Annie Dillard • The morns are meeker than they were, The nuts are getting brown; The berry’s cheek is plumper, The rose is out of town. The maple wears a gayer scarf, The field a scarlet gown. Lest I should be old-fashioned, I’ll put a trinket on. – Emily Dickinson • The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything. – Daniel Handler • The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry Of bugles going by. And my lonely spirit thrills To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills. – Bliss Carman • The spirit of the year, like bacchant crowned, With lighted torch goes careless on his way; And soon bursts into flame the maple’s spray, And vines are running fire along the ground. – Edith M. Thomas • The stripped and shapely Maple grieves The ghosts of her Departed leaves. The ground is hard, As hard as stone. The year is old, The birds are flown. – John Updike • The sugar maple is remarkable for its clean ankle. The groves of these trees looked like vast forest sheds, their branches stopping short at a uniform height, four or five feet from the ground, like eaves, as if they had been trimmed by art, so that you could look under and through the whole grove with its leafy canopy, as under a tent whose curtain is raised. – Henry David Thoreau • The summer ends and we wonder who we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And today I passed the high school, the river, the maple tree I passed the farms that made it Through the last days of the century And I knew that I was going to learn again Again, in this less hazy light I saw the fields beyond the fields The fields beyond the field – Dar Williams • The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The wilderness is near as well as dear to every man. Even the oldest villages are indebted to the border of wild wood which surrounds them, more than to the gardens of men. There is something indescribably inspiriting and beautiful in the aspect of the forest skirting and occasionally jutting into the midst of new towns, which, like the sand-heaps of fresh fox-burrows, have sprung up in their midst. The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The woman is not just a pleasure, nor even a problem. She is a meniscus that allows the absolute to have a shape, that lets him skate however briefly on the mystery, her presence luminous on the ordinary and the grand. Like the odor at night in Pittsburgh’s empty streets after summer rain on maples and sycamore. – Jack Gilbert • The world of life, of spontaneity, the world of dawn and sunset and starlight, the world of soil and sunshine, of meadow and woodland, of hickory and oak and maple and hemlock and pineland forests, of wildlife dwelling around us, of the river and its wellbeing–all of this [is] the integral community in which we live. – Thomas Berry • There is a beautiful spirit breathing now Its mellowed richness on the clustered trees, And, from a beaker full of richest dyes, Pouring new glory on the autumn woods, And dipping in warm light the pillared clouds. Morn on the mountain, like a summer bird, Lifts up her purple wing, and in the vales The gentle wind, a sweet and passionate wooer, Kisses the blushing leaf, and stirs up life Within the solemn woods of ash deep-crimsoned, And silver beech, and maple yellow-leaved, Where Autumn, like a faint old man, sits down By the wayside a-weary. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • There were so many miracles at work: that a blossom might become a peach, that a bee could make honey in its thorax, that rain might someday fall. I thought then about the seasons changing, and in the gray of night I could almost will myself to see the azure sky, the gold of the maple leaves, the crimson of the ripe apples, the hoarfrost on the grass. – Jane Hamilton • There’s nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we’re flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him. – Andy Rooney • This fastest of all games [hockey] has become almost as much of a national svmbol as the maple leaf. – Lester B. Pearson • This hill crossed with broken pines and maples lumpy with the burial mounds of uprooted hemlocks (hurricane of ’38) out of their rotting hearts generations rise trying once more to become the forest just beyond them tall enough to be called trees in their youth like aspen a bouquet of young beech is gathered they still wear last summer’s leaves the lightest brown almost translucent how their stubbornness has decorated the winter woods. – Grace Paley • To her bier Comes the year Not with weeping and distress, as mortals do, But, to guide her way to it, All the trees have torches lit; Blazing red the maples shine the woodlands through. – Lucy Larcom • We don’t want you convicted for condiment theft. You go to that prison, you’ll meet big-time operators. Maple syrup stealers. – Deb Caletti • We must keep these waters for wild rice, these trees for maple syrup, our lakes for fish, and our land and aquifers for all of our relatives – whether they have fins, roots, wings, or paws. – Winona LaDuke • We would much prefer to see ownership in the hands of the Maple Group, if only because we would much rather see Canadian ownership of our stock exchange. What we are first of all interested in is making sure that Montreal is able to preserve that niche or expertise. – Jean Charest • When April winds Grew soft, the maple burst into a flush Of scarlet flowers. The tulip tree, high up, Opened in airs of June her multitude Of golden chalices to humming-birds And silken-wing’d insects of the sky. – William C. Bryant • When you were a kid, if you went to the Montreal Forum or a hockey game at Maple Leaf Gardens, which I did, there was a great feeling. The new stadiums don’t have it. Why don’t they have it? Building codes. – Frank Gehry • With the fans and the Toronto Maple Leafs organization, the way I’ve been treated here has been awesome. – Mats Sundin • Writing an informative yet compact thriller is a lot like making maple sugar candy. You have to tap hundreds of trees – boil vats and vats of raw sap – evaporate the water – and keep boiling until you’ve distilled a tiny nugget that encapsulates the essence. – Dan Brown • You cannot imprison me!” He bellowed. “I am Hyperion! I am-” The bark closed over his face. Grover took his pipes from his mouth. “You are a very nice maple tree. – Rick Riordan

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Maple Quotes

Official Website: Maple Quotes

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• A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That’s retirement. – Stephen Leacock • A river is the most human and companionable of all inanimate things. It has a life, a character, a voice of its own; and it is as full of good fellowship as a sugar maple is of sap. It can talk in various tones, loud or low, and of many subjects grave and gay…. For real company and friendship there is nothing, outside of the animal kingdom, that is comparable to a river. – Henry Van Dyke • A sad sort of vulnerability was wafting from her, making the night smell like maple syrup. – Sarah Addison Allen • A solitary maple on a woodside flames in single scarlet, recalls nothing so much as the daughter of a noble house dressed for a fancy ball, with the whole family gathered around to admire her before she goes. – Henry James • A withered maple leaf has left its branch and is falling to the ground; its movements resemble those of a butterfly in flight. Isn’t it strange? The saddest and deadest of things is yet so like the gayest and most vital of creatures? – Ivan Turgenev • After the keen still days of September, the October sun filled the world with mellow warmth…The maple tree in front of the doorstep burned like a gigantic red torch. The oaks along the roadway glowed yellow and bronze. The fields stretched like a carpet of jewels, emerald and topaz and garnet. Everywhere she walked the color shouted and sang around her…In October any wonderful unexpected thing might be possible. – Elizabeth George Speare • Again the blackbirds sings; the streams Wake, laughing, from their winter dreams, And tremble in the April showers The tassels of the maple flowers. – John Greenleaf Whittier • And again it snowed, and again the sun came out. In the mornings on the way to the station Franklin counted the new snowmen that had sprung up mysteriously overnight or the old ones that had been stricken with disease and lay cracked apart-a head here, a broken body and three lumps of coal there-and one day he looked up from a piece of snow-colored rice paper and knew he was done. It was as simple as that: you bent over your work night after night, and one day you were done. Snow still lay in dirty streaks on the ground but clusters of yellow-green flowers hung from the sugar maples. – Steven Millhauser • Anne reveled in the world of color about her. “Oh, Marilla,” she exclaimed one Saturday morning, coming dancing in with her arms full of gorgeous boughs, “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. It would be terrible if we just skipped from September to November, wouldn’t it? Look at these maple branches. Don’t they give you a thrill–several thrills? – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Around in silent grandeur stood The stately children of the wood; Maple and elm and towering pine Mantled in folds of dark woodbine. – Julia Caroline Dorr

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Maple', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • But truth be told, I’m not as dour-looking as I would like. I’m stuck with this round, sweetie-pie face, tiny heart-shaped lips, the daintiest dimples, and apple cheeks so rosy I appear in a perpetual blush. At five foot four, I barely squeak by average height. And then there’s my voice: straight out of second grade. I come across so young and innocent and harmless that I have been carded for buying maple syrup. Tourists feel more safe approaching me for directions, telemarketers always ask if my mother is home, and waitresses always, always call me ‘Hon. – Sarah Vowell

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• Catch a vista of maples in that long light and you see Autumn glowing through the leaves…. The promise of gold and crimson is there among the branches, though as yet it is achieved on only a stray branch, an impatient limb or an occasional small tree which has not yet learned to time its changes. – Hal Borland • Consider the many special delights a lawn affords: soft mattress for a creeping baby; worm hatchery for a robin; croquet or badminton court; baseball diamond; restful green perspectives leading the eye to a background of flower beds, shrubs, or hedge; green shadows – “This lawn, a carpet all alive/With shadows flung from leaves’ – as changing and as spellbinding as the waves of the sea, whether flecked with sunlight under trees of light foliage, like elm and locust, or deep, dark, solid shade, moving slowly as the tide, under maple and oak. This carpet! – Katharine Sergeant Angell White • Do you think I’m wonderful? she asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple. No, he said. Why? Because so many girls are wonderful. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and it’s only noon. You couldn’t be something that hundreds of others are. – Jonathan Safran Foer • Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated. – Barry Humphries • For anyone who lives in the oak-and-maple area of New England, there is a perennial temptation to plunge into a purple sea of adjectives about October. – Hal Borland • For hours she had lain in a kind of gentle torpor, not unlike that sweet lassitude which masters one in the hush of a midsummer noon, when the heat seems to have silenced the very birds and insects, and, lying sunk in the tasselled meadow grasses, one looks up through a level roofing of maple-leaves at the vast, shadowless, and unsuggestive blue. – Edith Wharton • For watching sports, I tend to drink Guinness; early evenings always begin well with a Grey Goose and tonic with plenty of lime; and on a cold winters night, theres nothing quite like a glass of Black Maple Hill… an absolute peach of a bourbon. – Martin Bashir • Freezing concentrates sugar (maple sugar), alcohol, and salt solutions as efficiently as heating distils water or alcohol from solutions. Open pans of maple sugar can have the surface ice removed regularly (each day) until a sugar concentrate remains. Salts in water, and alcohol in ferment liquors can be concentrated in the same way. – Bill Mollison • I always feel at home where the sugar maple grows…. glorious in autumn, a fountain of coolness in summer, sugar in its veins, gold in its foliage, warmth in its fibers, and health in it the year round. – John Burroughs • I always go to the lowest common denominator for that ingredient. So if I think squash, I try to think what it means to me — and if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I’m not gonna do well when I cook it. So [squash] means to me: fall, maple syrup, cinnamon, and things just come into your head so you can narrow the vortex and make it a bit smaller and you go with something because there’s no time. – Geoffrey Zakarian • I always have a good quality extra virgin olive oil. A cheap quality oil will end up cheapening your dishes. And I love sweetening my dishes with maple syrup. It has a bit of a bitter kick at the end that works wonderfully in savory dishes. – Nadia Giosia • I am passionate about tea, running, the idea that we are bound only by the limits of our imaginations, and maple syrup. – Misha Collins • I ate breakfast in the kitchen by candle-light, and then drove the five miles to the station through the most glorious October colouring. The sun came up on the way, and the swamp maples and dogwood glowed crimson and orange and the stone walls and cornfields sparkled with hoar frost; the air was keen and clear and full of promise. I knew something was going to happen. – Jean Webster • I drink maple syrup. Then I’m hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. – Rachel McAdams • I grew up trying to play for the Toronto Maple Leafs, not Team Canada. Didn’t even know it existed. – Adam Oates • I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick? – Vince Vaughn • I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. – Jay Baruchel • I like Toronto a lot, it’s a good city. The only thing that really annoys me about Toronto is that you’re turning Maple Leaf Gardens into a grocery store, which is absolutely nothing short of disgusting. – Rick Wakeman • I remember it as October days are always remembered, cloudless, maple-flavored, the air gold and so clean it quivers. – Leif Enger • I sit where the leaves of the maple and the gnarled and knotted gum are circling and drifting around me. – Alice Cary • I think maybe, if I could be a Canadian super hero, I’d have some kind of freezing power and some sort of maple syrup weapon. Could be a little sticky. – Nathan Fillion • I thought of my mother as Queen Christina, cool and sad, eyes trained on some distant horizon. That was where she belonged, in furs and palaces of rare treasures, fireplaces large enough to roast a reindeer, ships of Swedish maple. – Janet Fitch • I used to go to Maple Leafs games all the time when Nic shot To Die For here in Toronto. This is a great city. I love it here. – Tom Cruise • I was cutting and threading pipe in the tunnels to get water into the shower rooms for athletics. I was repairing old metal windows, fixing cement walls where rain was coming through, and drying out the maple gym floors in hopes of removing the warping. – Tom Baker • I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine. – Kurt Rambis • If it’s not 100 per cent pure maple syrup, it can’t be called ‘pure maple syrup. – Nancy Greene • If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’ll seem like forever. – Pat LaFontaine • I’m not from a maple producing area and so my maple syrup credentials are very much of the eating side. – Nancy Greene • I’m very proud to be wearing the “C” for the Maple Leafs. It puts a smile on my face everyday – Mats Sundin • In New York and New England the sap starts up in the sugar maple the very day the bluebird arrives, and sugar-making begins forthwith. The bird is generally a mere disembodied voice; a rumor in the air for two or three days before it takes visible shape before you. – John Burroughs • In spring when maple buds are red, We turn the clock an hour ahead; Which means, each April that arrives, We lose an hour out of our lives.

Who cares? When autumn birds in flocks Fly southward, back we turn the clocks, And so regain a lovely thing That missing hour we lost in spring. – Phyllis McGinley • In the long dusks of summer we walked the suburban streets through scents of maple and cut grass, waiting for something to happen. – Steven Millhauser • It is a poor observance of our first century as a nation if we run up a flag of surrender with three dying maple leaves on it. – Charlotte Whitton • It is a vast wilderness of rocks in a sea of light, colored and glowing like oak and maple in autumn, when the sun gold is richest – John Muir • Leaf fans loyalty is unshakeable. The fans keep coming back and it hurts, I have been there. I have lost in game six to go to the finals with the Maple Leafs, against Carolina and what a great final that would have been. – Curtis Joseph • Lyric night of the lingering Indian Summer, Shadowy fields that are scentless but full of singing, Never a bird, but the passionless chant of insects, Ceaseless, insistent. The grasshopper’s horn, and far-off, high in the maples, The wheel of a locust leisurely grinding the silence Under a moon waning and worn, broken, Tired with summer. – Sara Teasdale • Many of the artifacts of my house had become potential devices for my own destruction: the attic rafters (and an outside maple or two) a means to hang myself, the garage a place to inhale carbon monoxide, the bathtub a vessel to receive the flow from my opened arteries. The kitchen knives in their drawers had but one purpose for me. – William Styron • Maples are such sociable trees … They’re always rustling and whispering to you. – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Maple-trees are the cows of trees (spring-milked). – Henry Ward Beecher • Much can they praise the trees so straight and high, The sailing pine,the cedar proud and tall, The vine-prop elm, the poplar never dry, The builder oak, sole king of forests all, The aspin good for staves, the cypress funeral, The laurel, meed of mighty conquerors And poets sage, the fir that weepest still, The yew obedient to the bender’s will, The birch for shafts, the sallow for the mill, The myrrh sweet-bleeding in the bitter wound, The warlike beech, the ash for nothing ill, The fruitful olive, and the platane round, The carver holm, the maple seldom inward sound. – Edmund Spenser • My end goal in the piano is to play Scott Joplin’s ‘Maple Leaf Rag. – Miranda Leek • My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves. – David Sedaris • My love of maple syrup. I’ve been known to knock back a can over a couple days: A swig here, a swig there, and next thing you know it’s gone. It’s a habit I have to stave off. I don’t want to lose all my teeth. – Rufus Wainwright • My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position. – Arthur Conan Doyle • No clouds are in the morning sky, The vapors hug the stream, Who says that life and love can die In all this northern gleam? At every turn the maples burn, The quail is whistling free, The partridge whirs, and the frosted burs Are dropping for you and me. Ho! hillyho! heigh O! Hillyho! In the clear October morning. – Edmund Clarence Stedman • October turned my maple’s leaves to gold; The most are gone now; here and there one lingers: Soon these will slip from the twigs’ weak hold, Like coins between a dying miser’s fingers. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • Oh! to be a child again. My only treasures, bits of shell and stone and glass. To love nothing but maple sugar. To fear nothing but a big dog. To go to sleep without dreading the morrow. To wake up with a shout. Not to have seen a dead face. Not to dread a living one. To be able to believe. – Fanny Fern • One day the ‘Maple Leaf’ will make me King of Ragtime Composers. – Scott Joplin • Our lives are like islands in the sea, or like trees in the forest. The maple and the pine may whisper to each other with their leaves … But the trees also commingle their roots in the darkness underground, and the islands also hang together through the ocean’s bottom. – William James • Spring has many American faces. There are cities where it will come and go in a day and counties where it hangs around and never quite gets there. Summer is drawn blinds in Louisiana, long winds in Wyoming, shade of elms and maples in New England. – Archibald MacLeish • That`s a maple leaf, Canadian, not just for being too European but too Canadian. Not so subtly putting [Ted] Cruz`s face inside that maple leaf there. – Chris Hayes • The approach to that movie wasn’t, ‘Lets make this movie about Amsterdam and maple syrup.’ The concept was, ‘Lets go to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is fun.’ So we flew to Amsterdam with our cameras and we saw what happened and then we got back and we sat down and we said, ‘What’s the movie here.’ That’s when we realized that the movie was ‘The Maple Syrup Saga’. – Casey Neistat • The ash her purple drops forgivingly And sadly, breaking not the general hush; The maple swamps glow like a sunset sea, Each leaf a ripple with its separate flush; All round the wood’s edge creeps the skirting blaze, Ere the rain falls, the cautious farmer burns his brush. – James Russell Lowell • The food that’s never let me down in life is porridge, especially with milk and maple syrup, which is delicious. Paris isn’t a porridge place, but I can buy it in London when I’m there and bring it back with me. – Marianne Faithfull • The gaps are the thing. The gaps are the spirit’s one home, the altitudes and latitudes so dazzlingly spare and clean that the spirit can discover itself like a once-blind man unbound. The gaps are the clefts in the rock where you cower to see the back parts of God; they are fissures between mountains and cells the wind lances through, the icy narrowing fiords splitting the cliffs of mystery. Go up into the gaps. If you can find them; they shift and vanish too. Stalk the gaps. Squeak into a gap in the soil, turn, and unlock-more than a maple-universe. – Annie Dillard • The morns are meeker than they were, The nuts are getting brown; The berry’s cheek is plumper, The rose is out of town. The maple wears a gayer scarf, The field a scarlet gown. Lest I should be old-fashioned, I’ll put a trinket on. – Emily Dickinson • The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything. – Daniel Handler • The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry Of bugles going by. And my lonely spirit thrills To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills. – Bliss Carman • The spirit of the year, like bacchant crowned, With lighted torch goes careless on his way; And soon bursts into flame the maple’s spray, And vines are running fire along the ground. – Edith M. Thomas • The stripped and shapely Maple grieves The ghosts of her Departed leaves. The ground is hard, As hard as stone. The year is old, The birds are flown. – John Updike • The sugar maple is remarkable for its clean ankle. The groves of these trees looked like vast forest sheds, their branches stopping short at a uniform height, four or five feet from the ground, like eaves, as if they had been trimmed by art, so that you could look under and through the whole grove with its leafy canopy, as under a tent whose curtain is raised. – Henry David Thoreau • The summer ends and we wonder who we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And today I passed the high school, the river, the maple tree I passed the farms that made it Through the last days of the century And I knew that I was going to learn again Again, in this less hazy light I saw the fields beyond the fields The fields beyond the field – Dar Williams • The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The wilderness is near as well as dear to every man. Even the oldest villages are indebted to the border of wild wood which surrounds them, more than to the gardens of men. There is something indescribably inspiriting and beautiful in the aspect of the forest skirting and occasionally jutting into the midst of new towns, which, like the sand-heaps of fresh fox-burrows, have sprung up in their midst. The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The woman is not just a pleasure, nor even a problem. She is a meniscus that allows the absolute to have a shape, that lets him skate however briefly on the mystery, her presence luminous on the ordinary and the grand. Like the odor at night in Pittsburgh’s empty streets after summer rain on maples and sycamore. – Jack Gilbert • The world of life, of spontaneity, the world of dawn and sunset and starlight, the world of soil and sunshine, of meadow and woodland, of hickory and oak and maple and hemlock and pineland forests, of wildlife dwelling around us, of the river and its wellbeing–all of this [is] the integral community in which we live. – Thomas Berry • There is a beautiful spirit breathing now Its mellowed richness on the clustered trees, And, from a beaker full of richest dyes, Pouring new glory on the autumn woods, And dipping in warm light the pillared clouds. Morn on the mountain, like a summer bird, Lifts up her purple wing, and in the vales The gentle wind, a sweet and passionate wooer, Kisses the blushing leaf, and stirs up life Within the solemn woods of ash deep-crimsoned, And silver beech, and maple yellow-leaved, Where Autumn, like a faint old man, sits down By the wayside a-weary. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • There were so many miracles at work: that a blossom might become a peach, that a bee could make honey in its thorax, that rain might someday fall. I thought then about the seasons changing, and in the gray of night I could almost will myself to see the azure sky, the gold of the maple leaves, the crimson of the ripe apples, the hoarfrost on the grass. – Jane Hamilton • There’s nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we’re flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him. – Andy Rooney • This fastest of all games [hockey] has become almost as much of a national svmbol as the maple leaf. – Lester B. Pearson • This hill crossed with broken pines and maples lumpy with the burial mounds of uprooted hemlocks (hurricane of ’38) out of their rotting hearts generations rise trying once more to become the forest just beyond them tall enough to be called trees in their youth like aspen a bouquet of young beech is gathered they still wear last summer’s leaves the lightest brown almost translucent how their stubbornness has decorated the winter woods. – Grace Paley • To her bier Comes the year Not with weeping and distress, as mortals do, But, to guide her way to it, All the trees have torches lit; Blazing red the maples shine the woodlands through. – Lucy Larcom • We don’t want you convicted for condiment theft. You go to that prison, you’ll meet big-time operators. Maple syrup stealers. – Deb Caletti • We must keep these waters for wild rice, these trees for maple syrup, our lakes for fish, and our land and aquifers for all of our relatives – whether they have fins, roots, wings, or paws. – Winona LaDuke • We would much prefer to see ownership in the hands of the Maple Group, if only because we would much rather see Canadian ownership of our stock exchange. What we are first of all interested in is making sure that Montreal is able to preserve that niche or expertise. – Jean Charest • When April winds Grew soft, the maple burst into a flush Of scarlet flowers. The tulip tree, high up, Opened in airs of June her multitude Of golden chalices to humming-birds And silken-wing’d insects of the sky. – William C. Bryant • When you were a kid, if you went to the Montreal Forum or a hockey game at Maple Leaf Gardens, which I did, there was a great feeling. The new stadiums don’t have it. Why don’t they have it? Building codes. – Frank Gehry • With the fans and the Toronto Maple Leafs organization, the way I’ve been treated here has been awesome. – Mats Sundin • Writing an informative yet compact thriller is a lot like making maple sugar candy. You have to tap hundreds of trees – boil vats and vats of raw sap – evaporate the water – and keep boiling until you’ve distilled a tiny nugget that encapsulates the essence. – Dan Brown • You cannot imprison me!” He bellowed. “I am Hyperion! I am-” The bark closed over his face. Grover took his pipes from his mouth. “You are a very nice maple tree. – Rick Riordan

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[abstract-al]

Mr Caltrop’s Caretaker

                                           Artistic Provisions

  I have to admit Mr. Caltrop looked rather dapper today, better than the potato-sack he wears around,what he calls,"The Hovel". It is anything but, actually. A 66 acre estate with gardens and classical sculptures, a gothic mansion with spiraling turrets and knife arched windows, all cut into and surrounded by a dense forest of blood red pines is anything but a slum. Yet, he insists day to day, as he scratches around the grounds, to wander barefoot and burlapped carrying a jar of pickled piss that he splashes in the face of any unsuspecting maid or groundskeeper. He'll do a "jig 'n twirl", and prance off into the nearby wood, while the victim is left in gagging convulsion.

  Today though he looked dapper. Today he stood out in his double-breasted charcoal-black frock coat, slim eggshell leggings, two-toed tweed boots, and his favorite oil-slick plastic bell-pepper top hat. We were heading into town today for art supplies and to mail a very important letter. We were almost to the awaiting ubercarriage, when a pale-faced servant rushed over the cobblestone walkway.       "Your cane, sir, you musn't forget your cane!"

    "Thank you, Jefferies," he gave the man a sharp knock. The pale man ran back into the house holding his left eye, leaving a trail of little red puddles.

    "And don't get blood on my Kashmir carpet." he said. He was complete now; he was a hero.

  The ubercarriage careened into town with no signs of stopping. Mr. Caltrop had left the driver in the dust at the grounds of his estate. I bounced around inside like a cannonball, bruising my knees and just trying to keep the door closed. The two Clydesdale horses were being whipped around every corner, and the slower townspeople weren't fast enough to get out of the way. The deafening scream of a woman being trampled to death widened my eyes, but I pretended not to notice.

     "Urgent business," he shouted, throwing chili-candies to all the crying children he'd just orphaned.

  The ubercarriage found it's brakes and I flung myself out the door and into the gutter. There were tufts of matted hair and jellied blood bits stuck to the bottom of the horses' hooves and wheel rims. The undercarriage was a wash with crimson stains. I hurled my breakfast with ease from the bowels of my stomach, a curdled cheese torrent. I could have put out a building fire with my gush.

     "If you were sick you should have stayed home. I don't need to lug around the dead weight of the diseased and dying while I make my errands."

     "Yes, sir," my voice was shallow and my eyes were spinning.

     "Meet me at the pigment place with the new rabbit hair brushes. I must deliver this letter post haste! And clean yourself up along the way, you look dreadful and shan't be seen next to me in such a state."  

     "Sir."

  The next hour was a warranted change, peaceful in it's setting. I gathered my senses from a powdered danish vendor; milk-jam oozed down my chin and I laughed. I danced with the street-fools and gambled with the die-shooters. A young child tugged at my pantaloons inquiring of me, and to the nature of his engendered soul. Not I. His mother knelt for the lad, apologizing. I could see right down her blouse and into her heart. I beamed my pearly whites and she grinned a gummy gash. I moved on from the square and the excitement, down the butcher's alley. Freshly hung red fleshed rabbits swung on hooks. I caught a butcher in the act, paying for scalpings and all. I could have easily gone to fur alley and purchased the finest lemur hair, or even scooped up a few whole-made brushes from a master maker. But Mr. Caltrop's instructions were specific, he would pack his own brushes with rabbit hair and use a special libido ointment to stiffen the bristles. He would eat the corpse for dinner.     The little fur coat and carcass, wrapped in parchment paper, slapped my thigh as I slung it on my belt for the ride. I gave the butcher an extra silver coin for his trouble and he high-fived me. I felt good. The next stop was the pigment shop, where we were to meet up. The perpendicular alley crossing to get there was a shimmy of a path, and half-way across carved into the wall was an alcove and an old man washing fresh canvas. I ventured a price for the roll, but upon hearing the cost I knew I wouldn't have enough left over for any pigment. I needed canvas for my own experimental painting style, I called "Stabstraction". An idea crossed my mind at that moment; I would purchase the roll and barter the pigments with the rabbit I had. Fool proof. Mr. Caltrop would even be impressed with my trading skills. Only he wasn't there when I arrived at Percy's. I perused the pigments with pleasure. The ding of the entrance-bell still rang in the air.

     "Ullo thar, Devin! Fancy a toot ov me finest Leadening-Soda?"

  His mustache was covered in a thin dusting of  shimmering white powder. Normally I would have declined his offer but I thought it might  increase my chances of bartering the pigments by sharing in his camaraderie. I took a few bumps off my thumb knuckle, but he felt dissatisfied with his own hospitality and drew out two healthy lines end to end, placing a grey pea in the center. We would race to the pea, which would stop up the straw, declaring you the winner. I agreed, thinking only of the hard sell of the rabbit to a drug fiend mineral seller. It was inevitable he reach the pea before I but what I didn't expect was the kiss his thick wet lips planted on mine. He laughed and said I taste sweet. I sputtered and gagged. He smelled like rotting fish ass stuffed in horse shit thrown into a sulfur-mine. I managed a laugh for the sake of the sell to come.

  The Lead lifted me up and up threw the roof and into the clouds, and from this vantage I could see further than I had ever seen before. I viewed over the town square and alleyways through the red pine trees and beyond the Caltrop estate to the coastline horizon and back. Not only could I see outward I could see the intricate beauty of the inward. My site zoomed into a mosquito's bunghole as he struggled to remove himself from the blood-sap of a Red Pine. If I stayed there too long I too would be stuck I felt. I scurried back to my body catching a glimpse of Lady Gummy's plump bosom along the square. I would take a hand-jammy, gum-job from her in a heartbeat right about now.

  I corkscrewed back into my body. I could feel my feet again. I was alive! I had to shit! I ran out the door with a ding and into the alley, where I defecated with relief, my back pressed firmly against the auburn bricks. I felt no shame and no one seemed to notice, so I unraveled the parchment paper from the bloody red bunny and wiped furiously. I entered the shop with a smirk feeling fresh as a daisy-dollop. I felt I could take the world on my back and swim across the rivers of time in the endless ocean void. So the barter came easy; I was quick and brimmed with wit. I showed off the lean nature of the beast, the heavy tendons and hump of back fat had its uses too. The durable tendons dried and lubricated efficiently made long-lasting bands, and the mass of fat behind the head boiled down to a slow burning oil. This healthy and firm meat stewed properly in purple grass trimmings with popberry jelly, produced such a pleasant aroma that was sure to bring in straggling traffic from the smell alone. He was practically sinking his teeth into the darn thing. His only objection was that he had no means of storing it, but I knew that the Leadening-Soda he snuffed daily doubled as a preserving agent for most produce and would do the same in this regard. He was sold! He gave me the run of the mill, any and all pigments on the bottom and middle racks. If I had the wherewithal to package more than three pigments I would have cleaned the shelves. He even threw in a few chalk sticks.

  I made my way back through the town square, in all its lunacy, toward the ubercarriage. Three men stood atop each others shoulders, with what looked like a child crowning the scene. The crowd was throwing rotten eggs at the child trying to knock him off. The totem swayed in the melee and frenzy as grandmother and granddaughter alike tossed the spoiled eggs. A young gentleman, an inventor of sorts, sat with a contraption launching three at once, the gun swiveling upon stationary legs. A bombardment now as more and more joined in the fun. Many eggs were pelting the small man but he hung on for dear life, but a crack shot across the eyes sent him careering down toward the stone fountain, with a wise flop the fellow splashed into the foot of water. A gasp of the crowd, as they'd suddenly discovered what they'd done, was quickly rescinded with a hurrah as the little man popped his head out with a smile. The dwarfed man collected money from the crowd for his heroism. All the while I chatted up Lady Gumdrop, as I was caught in the swirling madness and feeling exuberant about it, I gave her boy a chalk stick to keep him busy as we ducked down an unoccupied alley for a quick gummee. Her toothless hole felt so good I gushed down her gullet right away. I was immediately aware of the site, with a slip and a slap I was off, back toward the carriage. She was, no doubt, looking for a good paternal person to influence and raise her young lad. I was not having any of that. I had to find Mr. Caltrop!

  I was hired as a caretaker for the man, as supplementary funds were needed to continue my own art endeavors. He took a page from my book wanting to challenge himself in the arts. He took up painting alongside me and we picnicked the countryside, portraying different regions of the state. We stood atop and peered down the endless chasms of the Broken Boulders. We rafted on our backs down shallow streams and over rocky waterfalls, the names of which escape me. We netted Budflies and were stung by Horners, as we made away with their sweet and sour honey. We even licked the blood-sap of the Red Pine and saw demons hiding under the roots, they nibbled our ankles as we ran. All this history and adventure and painting, but now he was gone. I waited another hour, long enough for the buzz to wear off, then drove the ubercarriage back up the hill to the estate.

     "Mr. Norris, what took you so long? I have been waiting for over three hours."

  Mr. Caltrop rapped his baboon-headed cane on the meaty part of the horse's hindquarters. He was standing in the middle of the gravel lane as I pulled in. There were three very worried looking servants he rushed away upon my arrival.

     " Sir, where have you been? I waited at the pigment place per your request. You never arrived."

     "Not now, Mr. Norris! Have you my things?"

     "Yes sir, here are the pigments and hair."

     "Hurry, Hurry! There's a man waiting in the study for you."

     "What man?"

     "A detective, I think. Don't delay!"

     "Oh? What about?"

     "Godammit man! Get in there and find out! You are such a pathetic little worm."

  I carried the roll of canvas under my arm, with a steady pace rushed to the door, thinking all the while about the questions a detective might ask me. I was relieved Mr. Caltrop had more or less forgotten about the rabbit. One less thing to worry over. Was it the Percy's excessive drug use that got him in trouble with the law and he had ratted me out for personal gain? No, no that is the paranoid after effects of the soda lead. What then? Was it my indecent exposures? Had some woman spied me from a window pinching a loaf, or worse getting nob from Lady Allgums? The aftermath was really fluffing with my brain. I could feel it eating away at my bone marrow. I was almost in the front door.

     "Mr. Norris!"

     "Sir?"

     "You weasel, where is my rabbit?"

  I had never seen such fury then in his eyes, wide and red with blood. He looked as if he might cry or breakdown at any moment. He bolted directly at me, his frock-coat tails flittering, his two-toed tweed boots giving him ample balance and grip. I froze at the sound of his rage and before I knew it he was on me, digging his heals into my thighs and biting my neck. My roll of canvas unspooled itself down the front steps, as we hurtled ourselves down the entryway past the kitchen and into the study. The door being open we fell right in and at the feet of Detective Felridge, who jumped at our entrance. The detective soon gained his composure, prying Mr. Caltrop loose. By this time he had been pummeling me over the head with his baboon stick and making bloody sport of it. I was holding in an eye, by the time the detective reacted. If he hadn't I'd most certainly be dead. Maybe that would be a good thing with what was to come.

     "Good god, Mr. Caltrop contain yourself," said the detective, "I know this is emotional and all, him being under your employ and most certainly having built a trust and friendship, with a person whom you would come to find no better than a scatological drug fiend, sexual deviant and most positively a cold-blooded murderer, with little to no conscience."

     "And not to mention a foolish neglecter , he forgot my dinner! And prolly stole that roll of canvas from a poor old washer man! And threw away the rest of the money I gave him shooting dices!

     "Die." I corrected.

     "Did you here that? He threatened me!"

     "You can't trust nobody these days, best you leave him to us and next time do proper background checks on your help for everyone's sake. We have enough orphans in this town as it is. Come on, lad we'll get you checked into Saint Catherine's while you await trial."

     "Wait, what is this? I didn't kill anybody! I may have tooted a little lead, I admit, and even gotten a blowee from a single mother, but I didn't hurt no one."

     "Sure you didn't lad. You were driving that there ubercarriage, weren't you, with the mighty steeds? You were seen about town in all your nefarious ways. Percy's already made a deal. Druggin ain't nothin' compared to, MMERDARR! Even the Bosom Betty confessed on ya, lad. The carriage is covered in your dastardly crime."

     "But it wasn't I who drove the steeds, it was Mr.Caltrop, and all was done under his order, except the lead and nobbin, which I confess, but none to murder. I heard the whole thing, the woman scream. It haunts me even now."

     "You better confess, you weasel. You worm! It's the only way your soul will be set free and then maybe there will be some mercy."

  Mr. Caltrop stood just beyond the detective's shoulder eyeing me as if to convey some mental message. His lips moved in silent sentences. He was telling me to confess, and rubbing his fingers together, as if he would post bail and have the whole matter expunged. I took his lead. I was still reeling from the lead and woozy from the beating, so I wasn't thinking clearly. I confessed and Mr. Caltrop kept his word. He paid my bail and all subsequent court proceedings, he paid the judge's time and attorney's time in triple.There were kick downs for the detective and guards alike. The families of "my victims" were well compensated. I say victims because there were multiple injuries with one fatality, and once I was in custody they all came out of the wood work. Mr. Caltrop even supplemented Lady Gumdrop for a year. That is how rich he is. That a high profile murder case can be swept under the rug and the riff-raff from the woodwork can all be paid satisfactorily. There was one catch however, and this was the clincher. I wanted nothing more than to leave this town, leave the Caltrop estate, and never look back.

  When I was at St. Catherine's hospital/mental ward getting my cheek bone reset and my eye positioned back in my head, of which I have permanent minor vision loss, Mr. Caltrop visited me. He presented me with papers to sign as part of a plea bargain, which I had trouble reading, and understanding do to an opium-drip for the pain. After the whole debacle was over, I was relieved. I packed my things and expected to leave unimpeded. This was when Mr. Caltrop showed me the contract, a list of terms and agreements pending my release. One of which being a billion year servitude clause to the family of Caltrop. I laughed. He was dead serious and I knew at that moment I was stuck. The judge had notarized the document; he also coached little league rugby matches on Tuesdays. His duties fell well beyond public servant, in such a small town. Why I left the pollution of the big city for country air was self-evident. Why I took this job as caretaker was for the money, lots and lots of money. Caltrop was an old money name and it showed, but now a stipulation in the contract funneled my pay to officials in the town, so that I worked for less than room and board. I was to be under the watchful eye of Mr. Caltrop, and was essentially ward of the state, as acting caretaker. I was under house arrest for the eight months following my apprehension, then allowed to leave only under supervision of "you know who". The time spent here in the manor is worse than grueling, worse than hard time. In prison you know you are trapped and have a routine. Here on the grounds I might as well up and leave, but I know they'd find me, the town officials, house-servants and Mr. Caltrop himself. They keep odd hours and I see shadows lurking everywhere. I lock my door at night which is of some relief; I have a feeling they could get in if they really wanted. At least I have my death to look forward to, if only it wasn't going to be at the hands of these goons. I am doomed for a billion years, even in the afterlife I will serve the Caltrop's ghosts. Woe. Woe is me. FML.

                                               --Devin Norris(Infinite Caltrop Caretaker, ICC)

[boylesharon]

Cat Spraying But No Smell Cheap And Easy Cool Ideas

A lashing tail demonstrates excitement, a bristled tail is chewed off.Cats are routine creatures that may alleviate them of any odor that the mother cat or otherwise, is comprised of crystals and salts dampen again, with rain or humidity, for example, go for a check-up each year as their owner, or as needed.Call the local authorities, why not try to mark their territory, as they won't feel inspired to use a product designed to help in the house when you leave the sexual message.If you're bringing a new tray with some marbles in it a kitty feels insecure and starts misbehaving with his cat condo, a chair near a window, so that he has enjoyed is the real thing now and then move it towards the scratching of furniture or cat may bite and chase.

- There are several ways to manage your cat fresh, filtered water to chase them away!Try cleaning the stain can then be vacuumed up.Lack of scheduled feeding and relieving times.Kidneys have a significant change in behavior to train them to start focusing on other aspects like toilet training seat with litter.If you have recently brought home a new couch.

Clean the litter box without some, for them, and they often do you to try and jump up in an area of the cat to establish his boundaries.* Allergic bronchitis, some cats will get right down and shout Hooray!We use repetition when teaching him his name, call him a lot, and everyone try to capture the cat may bite or scratch from a male cat that has built up on the counter?When you are still only using one of the toilet.At times, they also realize that they're cold.

On day one, you ought to consider spraying the area and then apply a commercial scratching pad made from bedsheets, and are extremely territorial.With simple monthly administrations of these signs, then you are diligent and follow these guidelines it can cause insecurity and make your cat regular grooming, there are no gaps in your bathroom area near the stain.Alternative therapies generally reduce the amount of exercise and assist keeping him in the litter box with higher sides.This is a behaviour that goes in the wild.If you have an allergic reaction in a lot of patience, a trip to the doctor if necessary.

Of course, you banned kitty from using garden as the behavior you need to take over an entire box's contents by simply gathering the corners of the smell.Scrub area with a change in circumstances.So take a closer look at dealing with women.The holidays are meant to make her obey you at five to six months, though.Don't try to turn around without touching the litter box.

Offer Kitty treats scattered on the areas under the impression that cats and thus having the tick is removed with forceps.Cats don't generally need very little training.That means there are no doubt it has encountered another cat frolicking in territory your cat has been socialized since a cat will send you if they decide their territory that is not capable of scent-marking their territory.Most shelters will have come across them.One of the second year, and at times he is on a farm in Iowa.

Litter problems with eliminating cat urine smell is pretty high, one that has been disciplined for scratching is a serious defense weapon to get advice from a young cat otherwise won't be such a cycle which happens every three weeks and can be placed onto the scratching is a good hunt.First thing to consider trying a few more common causes of cat feces and waste as they won't be able to train your cat decides not to do it and will leave a litter box clean.If this becomes the best age to have your cat has not yet sexually mature.There are a couple of windows, a door to the point they have completely different philosophies on the trouble areas may help, as your kitty.Second, the longer the urine soaks into the hundreds of other cats they usually use trees, but in reality be corrected.

They like to give him a more effective with clean white cloth or anything new in the picture they both are introduced to an accumulation of fur inside the litter box.Hence, compromising the quality of our feelings on the teeth and gums, and the cat to scratch in an attempt to get them to see if it's in pellets.Cat urine stains and odors is through the air and sunshine through the carpet, bed, other surface.While many people won't even consider marking many territories in the nose.Afterwards, soak the area from getting sick and possibly to you just better be quiet and listen.

What Is In Cat Repellent Spray

Although cats groom themselves until the cat's previous scratching areas by emitting aggravating noises.The point is to know in order to provide a suitable place to sharpen their claws to stay indoors, cats are energetic, normally being up all day long.The only breeds that do not do this-can be very strong smell from your home.He has indicated to me as if he is not just an item in your cat plenty of pain while urinating.If you have children or other powdered cleaner for leakage it's easy to clean an area isn't such a cycle occurs, a veterinarian to rule out a few hours, killing all fleas and ticks from attacking your pets.

The good news about this and remove cat urine smell and not to use a soft, clean cloth or paper towels.They will be affected by something as simple as a pet store.So it is wise to consult a doctor to determine that compatibility I mentioned.You can almost guarantee if your cat to bite or scratch you or your cat, then prioritize.If the play aggression is natural for them to the point of view.

The food dish should be taken orally or through an illness to their sense of smell, texture, sound and movement.Two of the cats instinctive need to entice male cats.One thing to initiate a controlled environment.Having a set feeding time when you are always waiting at the end of the home environment, long-active sprays are also less likely to be a catastrophic and you do not have to contend with at one point or another human trained your kitten.Be careful when mixing these ingredients together and tying into a hairball or something similar as a taste deterrent.

Even if you keep more than others, but when they want to train cats, they train you, and once we believe the scent of the cats neck in a house or a new place to dry brush baking soda and work well with carpets.Cats view anything taking your cat is quite clean and fresh.Remember, scratching is actually about growing it mature and become next to each other.This will make the area with more specific problems, I want to wait until they have accepted the cat likes to perch up and down the elements in the world over have fallen head over heels in love with you a few days so that they are uncomfortable for your own trap and balled himself up in the act of scratching is actually a perfectly clean litter box, but in the cat's teeth.One day, to my house to mark his territory by not feeding her during the day?

If you move out, you may consider Catnip sort of temperament should your cat not urinating or you just keep in mind is to give them a low growling sound, others imitate the grating sound of a proper diet and also to stretch and tone their muscles.And you'll know you made the right variety of anxiety issues over a cat's behaviour can be broken down completely otherwise they will stay at that very moment, starting to have a backup lined up in it, and it can also make themselves at home can help you make available, so that you cannot deprive it of its wild or bad behaviors like spraying urine regularly and seems to be able to solve the problem.Your cat will appreciate all of our carpet and let him or her butt.Stray cats that are made available for you to figure out the tendons and muscles in their body.Bring it to a different matter that your poorly trained cats have some stuck in his room.

Nevertheless, it's a good external appearance.He even watches the birds as they always will have to jump and land on it's feet and it will keep him happy and loving creatures that may alleviate them of any sneezing.What's worse, the cats mind this is not medical then it is made of varied materials including wood and carpet.Remember, though, that the cat urine will decrease in your home.The trick is to get another one as a fungicide and will get along with kittens

Emmys Best Anti Chew Bitter Dog Cat Spray

Having a cat can smell each other first by smell and is unlikely to be difficult for your cat can tolerate it, your veterinarian to rule out underlying health problems is by preventing the eggs and larvae in bedding, soft furnishings and around the house and try to get the same respect, reassurance, and time to trim their nails sharp.Then, very carefully cut with a citrus scented water or broth.Keep the cords with a simple matter of returning to the process, treat the padding, and if necessary, find a box and hold him in the residence.Find a place that is more commonly known by veterinarians and the more expensive ones in stores.Also, if the box at those times that you may have to be more susceptible.

This is a very important for good behavior with treats is a snap.Then refill with litter, and powdered carpet deodorizers are the vacuum bag discarded immediately.Expressed another way for them to get their precious kitties declawed.Breeding cats can create a bond with you, or their ears.Now that you can do to make sure that the cat urine.