#lots of stardew. too much stardew. but i love my husband and i need 2 provide for him and ...

[ratspider]

stardewvalley......

[sweetberrysmooch]

HC: And There Was Only One Bed (Affectionate) [pt. 2]

(Zzzzzzz…..)

(Alright, second part done :V Not much to say here for now, but I hope you’re excited for the upcoming part to come out next ^^ And my ask box is always open, so feel free to drop in and chat any time! I’ll be seeing you :D)

Basic sleeping hcs with ya boys, and for a part two, outside home life? You’ll see what I mean lol 

Characters: Quackity, George, Badboyhalo.

Warnings: Nightmares in Quackity’s part, but besides that we’re clean <3

Song Recommendation: Metamodernity- Vansire

Up Next- Sapnap, Philza, Fundy, Schlatt. 

Enjoy your day guys! I do hope it be rockin :]

Quackity:

Quackity is one floppy motherfucker. You fall asleep with him spooning you, head nestled between your shoulder blades, hands holding yours in front of your middle, legs entangled, the whole shi-bang, but wake up with him starfishing half on the mattress at a weird angle that makes his neck sore for the rest of the day.

Each day is a new position for you to add to your ammunition of teasing against him, but he takes it in stride. He totally doesn’t wake you up halfway through the night by flinging himself over your middle, ‘asleep’ and snoring like a freight train. When you give up halfway through trying to stop him breathing and just fall asleep lying on his chest, he turns to mush and gets distracted playing with your hair. You don’t know why he seems so exhausted the next morning, and he only giggles dreamily at you when you ask.

While he’ll be the big spoon for as long as you want him to, there’s a special soft place in his heart for being the little spoon. Hold him, please. Pull him to your chest and gently run your fingers through his hair, rub his back and kiss every inch of his face until he’s down for the count. The easiest way to make him feel better after a bad day or an argument is to let him know you want him and love him. Just holding him at night guarantees that he’ll bring you a present the next day (like the inner stardew valley house husband he sometimes longs to be lmao).

It’s a 50/50 chance of waking up with Quackity or after him, seeing as he prefers to get up early to enjoy the quiet mornings before the rest of the smp wakes up. He gets ready, makes the both of you coffee (or tea, something to help wake you up), and watches the sky change color while he waits for you to come sit with him in the kitchen. The two of you try your best to assure a moment together before you go about your separate ways, sitting together and talking about what you have planned or what you might have for dinner later. It’s his favorite part of the day, aside from coming back home to your awaiting arms.

Another citrus-y smelling fellow. More orange than lemon, he bathes in the morning after he wakes up. You typically wake up right after he gets finished washing up, walking into the bathroom to hear him quietly humming while drying off his hair and wings. He’ll give you a small guilty grin and a good smooch on your forehead as an apology.

Another poor fellow with nightmares;; They’re a lot less frequent than they used to be now that you’ve gotten together (having someone to talk to and work through each others issues does WONDERS apparently) but when they hit, they hit him hard. You wake up from him twisting and turning right before he wakes up in tears. He doesn’t like to be touched afterwards, drawn in on himself and facing away from you, hiding his crying. When you leave to get him a glass of water and come back, he’s more grounded, crawling into your arms and accepting the drink gratefully. With his forehead pressed to your throat, taking small sips from his cup, he’ll tell you what his dream was about. Sometimes it’s Technoblade, sometimes Dream, mostly Schlatt though. His ex lingers on his mind more than he likes to admit, a deep sense of abandonment showing through his nightmares. Quackity struggles with sleeping for a few days after, afraid of what he might see when he closes his eyes again.

(You’ve fallen back asleep by now, hand paused in its ministrations and resting snugly in his hair. Things are warm and quiet and soft, and he feels safe again. 

The nightmare still hovers fuzzily in the back of his mind, but for now he can ignore it, focusing on your slow breathing as it lulls him back to sleep. 

His last thought before finally letting himself rest is how much he loves you, giving you one last squeeze in his tight embrace before relaxing into a much more stable slumber. ‘Gracias por todo mi amor.’)

George:

Impeccable skill of just falling asleep wherever and whenever. Before the two of you got close and started sharing a bed together, he really left his sleep schedule up to fate. He’d find a comfy spot and crash there for a few hours till he was awoken and would just repeat that a few hours later. Now that he has you, he makes more of an effort to stay awake during the day so he can sleep through the night next to your side. It more or less works, but occasionally he’ll have slept during the day and he wakes up in the middle of the night. As “punishment”, he sentences himself to waiting it out instead of getting up to do something because he truly wants to keep going to bed with you.

Not big on contact, likes having his space when he’s sleeping. Cuddling is nice every once in a while, but he prefers being able to breathe a little bit when falling asleep. He does, however, actively make the choice to hold your hand while he slips into slumberville. His grip isn’t too strong, nor is it very light, but a gentle mix between the two to try and remind you how much he loves you. You’ll wake up before him and his hand will still be holding yours, pulled to his chin as he sleeps. His breath fans your knuckles slowly, face eased of any stress, absolutely content.

George bathes…… probably. I’m just kidding, he fluctuates between bathing at night or in the morning because he just goes through phases of forgetting to when the time comes. His little mushroom home doesn’t come with a bathroom, seeing as its wholly empty (please if anyone has housing information on George or like. Any character at all please inform me please i beg-), so he’s limited to getting clean at a friend’s or your house. Typically yours. He keeps all of his valuables at your place once you start letting him sleep over there, tucking his clothes into your closet or in your dresser when he thinks you aren’t looking, leaving a toothbrush and his soap in your bathroom, hanging his armor up on an empty armor stand you have tucked away, all due to his inability to straight out ask if he can live with you.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to live with you, he practically does anyways, but there’s something in him that worries that you won’t like him if you’re forced to live with him permanently. He knows it can become… a bit much when you have to be around someone 24/7, but doesn’t realize that you pretty much already are around each other 24/7 lmao.

It takes a while but eventually he settles down and over dinner suggest that maybe you two should take it to the next level. His face is flushed pink and he keeps switching which leg he has crossed, but he takes your hand and quietly asks if he could start living with you. It’s a surprisingly sweet moment, even with your confusion (thinking you already DID live together), and of course you say yes.

He looks so relieved when you accept, and is kinda like, “I know this will be a difficult process but I’m very excited to become closer with you.” and then nothing changes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(It’s on the walk home when George finally processes that he now lives with you. It feels heavy on his heart, a mix of nervousness and excitement that makes him swallow hard and tighten his fingers around yours. 

This isn’t the first time he’s spent the night at your place, nor is it the first time he’s crawled into bed with you and slept next to just because you let him, but it is his first night actually living with you. The moment feels brand new, as if it’s his first time visiting your house all over again. 

He begins to wonder if maybe this was a mistake, maybe he’s moved too fast and maybe your regretting letting him live with you already and- He takes a hurried look at your face. You look… unbothered. Happy, even. 

There’s this half hidden smile on your face that soothes his anxieties, drawing out his own fragile smile. He can’t wait to live with you.)

Bad:

Mmmmm, big man warm. A natural heat machine, no need for lots of blankets or heavier pajamas, Bad will take care of all your cold problems. Every night after you finish your shared nightly routine, you curl up in his arms, immediately becoming over come with his toasty embrace. It like when you get clothes out of the drier and just hug them to your chest, the warm, clean, smell good experience that Bad also delivers.

He’s got a pretty ingrained nightly schedule that he sticks to, and he always invites you to join him after you finish up dinner. It starts by cleaning up the house a little, washing the dishes, setting aside clothes for the next day, taking a quick bath, brushing his teeth, reading a few chapters from a new book he’s picked up, and then settling down to go to bed. He won’t push you to do it with him, but he does try to incorporate you into his routine when he can. Usually it’s just by doing something small, like reading together or massaging your shoulders, but sometimes he’ll ask you to join him when he bathes.

Bad bathes pretty often, always at night, and using a nice smelling soap that he makes himself. Like what was said above, he’ll sometimes ask you to join him when bathing. It’s not ever for any naughty means, but because he sees bathing as a very intimate and vulnerable activity for you to share. He won’t push it, understanding that it can be overwhelming to be so open, but if you do choose to join him, he’s so gentle with you. His hands are worked and calloused, but they’re soft when they run soap through your hair, his nails lightly scratching your scalp and running down the back of your neck. He practically purrs when you return the favor, giggling as your hands brush sensitive spots around his sides. Afterwards he becomes so cuddly and attached to your side, you fall asleep with him curled up on YOUR chest, trapped under him.

That being said, most nights he takes to being the big spoon. It’s more for convenience sake, seeing as he’s a good few feet taller than you are, but he also can appreciate being held and loved on after harsher days. He’s a lot like a weighted blanket, a nice heavy weight that keeps you warm and makes you feel loved <3 love this guy.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), you sometimes have.... Visitors. Bad is a hub for the homeless, bored, and nutty members of the smp. They flock to him like birds to the elderly, which means you have “children” to take care of for a day or two at a time :/. Dream and George aren’t regulars, per say, but Bad has a room set aside for either of them when they come over. To their credit, they do try to be polite when they come over, and will help in cooking dinner or cleaning up. Skeppy, however, is unlike Dream or George, in that he’s more of a third partner in your and Bad’s relationship.

Skeppy up and appears at random, no announcement, and makes himself comfortable any place where Bad is. Be it at your home or his, Skeppy eats your food, lounges on your furniture, hell, he even sleeps with you and Bad at night. You two share Bad’s chest whenever Skeppy is over. It’s so jarring at first, having to deal with having another boyfriend (because Skeppy will consider you to be apart of the thrupple after introductions), but he usually only stays for like 3 days before leaving to do whatever else he has planned. You don’t know if you should be worried or upset or what, but after a while it becomes kinda nice to have him around.

All in all Bad is great to sleep with <3

(Bad blows the lantern out on his bedside counter, shuffling under the cover beside you once the room was fully dark. You slung an arm over his chest instinctively, cuddling up into his side when his arm pulled up around your back and held you even closer. 

You shivered pleasantly when he gently pressed a kiss into your hair, becoming sleepier and sleepier with each rise and fall of his wide chest. He sighs quietly and squeezes you, murmuring softly to you as you both fell asleep. “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well.”)

Have a good evening! Do something nice for yourself tonight. You deserve it.

[reddus-sideblog]

There was a question that was fluttering in my mind for a while, but do you have any games that you would recommend? Kinda wondering what's your taste in them. o:

Hm.

To be wholly honest I have slowly fallen out of playing video games, and just gotten deeper and deeper into tabletop games. I've gotten pretty bad with more action-y in the last while, my reactions are too slow, I hesitate too much, and I overthink things. I'm better at turn-based games, though I wish I could play faster-paced games a bit better, as a lot of friends of mine are much more interested in that.

I really enjoyed Mechanicus when I played it through a couple of times, though that's because that game was basically made for me. I LOVE E.Y.E. Divine Cybermancy, though I may well have played that game far too much for how little game is in it. Also, if you love EYE like I do the Necromunda: Hired Gun is basically Divine Cybermancy 2, in terms of gameplay. I played Webbed and I loved it, it's heartfelt and simple. Underworlds is a fun turn-based 1v1 game, but it's not one I could recommend buying, really. I played Space Marine again, and i was doing pretty bad at it, but I enjoyed watching Captain Titus punch grots in the face.

OK, that's enough Warhammer stuff. One of the best things I've ever played was Stardew Valley. I played it with my husband, and it was so wonderful, we had a fantastic time. A Hat in Time is a bit simple but a very cute and fun platformer. Rimworld is a great game if you're intimidated by Dwarf Fortress, but it may leave you a bit acquiescent if you crave more depth. It's kind of an unhappy medium. I love Darkest Dungeon but I really burned out on it hardcore. Age of Wonders: Planetfall is a really good strategy game, set in a very, very cool post-collapse galaxy (though it only really takes place on one planet at a time), the previous human empire, the Star Union, was one of the most insanely dystopian and evil empires I've ever seen in fiction.

The only vs game I play that I'm good at is Duck Game

My friends have bought me a few video games, and I really need to get around to them, if they'll run. I wanna play Bayonetta...

[astraeal]

Commission for @thedashasaproblem! Hope you enjoy; read it on AO3 here.

Farmer Marie, original character, belongs to @thedashasaproblem. Stardew Valley, and all characters and settings therein, belongs to concernedape.

“Okay! We have quite a few things we need to get done today. Marnie called – you know how I asked her to let us know if she had any more available chicks? Yes? – and said there were some new ones we could pick up, which is perfect and just in time because Robin wrapped up the coop yesterday! And that means we need fresh hay in the coop, and if we need to restock the silo then we’ll mow too. Bessie needs to be milked and we’ll check if Sweetpea has any this morning or if she’s still nursing – ugh, little Delilah is going to be so stunning when she grows up, I can feel it. Oh, and good morning babe!”

Elliott blinks from where he’d stumbled into the kitchen, his hair thrown into a messy bun and loose auburn strands hanging around his face. He is in no way prepared for Marie’s chipper enthusiasm, but that’s what made him love her, after all. And, this entire situation is something he brought upon himself.

Head full of fantastical pastoral fantasies, he’d asked Marie to keep him appraised of what it takes to run Shady Land Farm. He was good with books, which was helpful – while Marie was running about the Valley in search of delicious fruits and rare stones, Elliott appointed himself the financier of Marie’s assets.

It had been difficult; he’d consolidated sticky notes scattered about the house with haphazard reminders about supplies owed to Robin, and items to sell to Pierre at the general store vs. what should be distributed to townsfolk directly, and birthday reminders, and favorite gifts, and occasional notes written in a script he couldn’t parse but appearing on a fantastical dark blue page that made his writer’s intuition spark. (That, and his fingers burned a little whenever he held such a note, as if it knew that he was not the intended recipient, but he never let Marie know that.)

After his book tour had completed, he had taken the better part of their first fall together to consolidate these notes and square the books. It had been helpful when Marie decided to go forward with the basement upgrade, and suddenly Shady Land’s wines and cheeses were worth quite a lot more. They’d only recently begun talking about incorporating more animals into the farm, hence the phone call to Marnie. With the addition of more animals, and Marie’s additional time spent working on repairing the old Community Center, Elliott wanted to assist more. It was only fair, after all; he still got most of his writing done at night, and there was no reason he couldn’t spend more of his mornings helping around the farm.

Marie had been ecstatic, of course, and he’d glowed with the anticipated appreciation for his efforts. So far, it hadn’t been that difficult. Sprinklers handled most of the watering, and with Marie’s clear eye for design, he wasn’t getting lost in the fields as he had feared he would.

But he still wasn’t a morning person, and his brain isn’t entirely on all the way, especially when his wife has inundated him with information and her beautiful visage so early in the morning.

Marie looks up at him, wide blue eyes and a warm smile on her face, blonde hair tucked away in two braids that usually resided beneath her sunhat. The hat now rests on the worn kitchen table, two steaming mugs of coffee and cozy breakfast platters set on the table. Still processing his wife’s words, Elliott makes his way to the second breakfast platter and pours some milk into his coffee, knowing he’ll need it to make it through the day.

“Good morning, my dear,” he murmurs as he finishes those first three blessed gulps of caffeinated beverage. “Would you like me to fetch the chicks? Or shall I stay on the homestead and you venture to the forest?”

Marie takes a bite of her eggs, done up with some goat cheese – “I bought it from Pierre but when we get some we’ll make our own, and it’ll be probably fresher than this stuff!” – potatoes, and sausage in her own little scramble. Elliott’s breakfast is far more tame, scrambled eggs and farm fresh cheese, with toast on the side.

“If you want to take Miss Daisy to Marnie’s, that would be great! She could use an excursion, and she loves the woods.” Marie sets her hand – soft, thanks to the gloves she uses, but still strong and capable – over Elliott’s wrist. “If you don’t mind, that is. I know coming back with newborn chicks might be a little…difficult.”

He warms at her touch. “I’m sure Marnie has a basket or some such thing I could use, don’t fret darling. She’d never let anything happen to the animals in her care.”

Marie smiles at him, and pecks his cheek. “Alright, babe, I’ll head down to the barn –”

“Oh, I can do that!” He blushes a little after his outburst, but still gives his wife a smile. “Let me handle the animals today, my dear. The first fruits of spring will be in the orchard, and you’ve got a better sense for flora than I.”

They both remember the catastrophic effort in Elliott’s old cottage when he watered his rose with sea water and was confused as to why it was dying. That had been one of the many points Elliott began to consider Marie as more than a friend.

She gives him a look clearly conveying that she’s thinking of the same moment he is. “Well, alright. Apricots and cherries, what a combination. Oh! And the wine! I’ll be right back!” She darts away, down the basement stairs, presumably to see if any wine has finished maturing yet. Some things she pulls out early, just for a little extra cash – Gus is always appreciative of a finer quality of any type of ingredient, especially alcohol.

Elliott knows it will take her a little while to check each barrel, so he quickly finishes his breakfast and coffee, and then stands, ready to take on the day.

First, to get himself prepared.

Then, to tend to Miss Daisy.

♢♢♢

Marie loses some time in the basement, checking each and every barrel, weighing the pros and cons of switching out some of the wine barrels for cheese barrels. With Bessie and Sweetpea both producing such quality milk, Shady Land has a near excess of cheese and she knows Gus would pay a fair amount to have some for his pizzas and salads.

Then again, better quality cheese keeps her going in the mines and other excursions, so there might be some incentive to keep some around? She’d probably ask Elliott for his thoughts, but by the time she surfaces from the basement and sees the clock perched over the coffee maker in the kitchen, she realizes it’s already 2:49pm.

She’d left her husband alone for hours. Elliott isn’t incompetent, but there’s still etiquette for handling new animals, especially babies, and all of Grandpa’s farming books are written in family shorthand, something she’d been meaning to teach Elliott but just kept forgetting.  

Alarmed, Marie runs out to the front porch, expecting some sort of catastrophe. Bessie to be loose – not that she’d do much but perhaps wander up towards the house and eat a few tulips or something – or maybe Aspen to have fallen into the lake (again) but instead all’s quiet. She can hear the soft bells hanging from Bessie, Sweetpea, and little Delilah, but she can’t see them through the orchard.

She doesn’t run, lest she startle anyone, but she heads towards the tree line as quickly as she can. As she approaches, she can hear her husband’s voice. She quiets her steps as she enters the dappled shade of the orchard, the apple and orange trees still dormant for the season, yet producing beautiful flowers regardless. A sweet spring wind guides some fallen petals towards her, beautifully framing the tender scene she sees before her.

Elliott sits on a stump, Miss Daisy, Bessie, and Sweetpea, grazing peacefully beside him. He and little Delilah, however, are looking down, enraptured with three small fuzzy brown and golden chirping fluffy chicks in the grass. The chicks are barely visible from her current distance, but as Elliott straightens up his long hair goes back into place, revealing a fourth little chick curled up in his hand, which he gives little pets to every once in a while.

“You’re not too different from the crab that once lived in my pocket,” the story crafter begins, murmuring to the little chick in his hand. The chick chirps in response, and Elliott chuckles. “I haven’t told you that story yet? Well, I absolutely should.”

Marie takes another small step forward, not wanting to encroach on the moment nor startle any of the beings involved. The more she watches the scene, the more she sees things she hadn’t before. Like how all the adult females stood firmly on the edge of the lake, prohibiting the chicks, Elliott, or Aspen from wandering too close to it. And a small – hopefully empty – milk pail sits next to the stump, as if her husband had finished a chore and then simply couldn’t be away from the chicks for much longer.

What gives her away is another small fluff ball in the grass, this one bigger than the chicks, a brilliant white that rockets out of the higher grass and directly into Marie’s arms.

“Aspen! Who’s a good boy?” she coos, on reflex. Miss Daisy looks nonplussed, as if she knew Marie was there the entire time, while Delilah startles a little and runs back to the safety of Sweetpea.

Elliott also startles, which startles the chicks, who all climb and jump up his pant legs and into his lap, chirping loudly until they can take cover in the safety of Elliott’s lap. “Darling! I didn’t hear you arrive!” He looks caught red handed, though with what, Marie’s not sure.

She walks over, Aspen tucked to her chest, and sees with no small amount of relief that the milk pail isn’t full of milk, but rather water. Now, she can also see a small basket, no doubt from Marnie, in which the chicks probably arrived.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to disrupt…you just looked so cute, babe! Everyone treating you nicely?” Marie leans forward, letting Aspen back down to the ground, and gives an affectionate rub to Miss Daisy, who wandered over searching for some treats.

Elliott blushes, visible even with the mid-spring flush he seems to always have on him. “Yes, quite. Everyone has been remarkably kind to me. Miss Daisy had to guide us home herself! I was, ah, a little preoccupied with the newest young ones.”

The wind picks up a little, carrying more flower petals through the air. Elliott’s long auburn waves glint caramel in the sun, unfurling to the side, revealing the turquoise earring usually kept tucked away. Marie had mined that turquoise herself; the earring had been a wedding gift from Clint, repurposing a stone Marie had sold him a few weeks prior to their proposal. (She had briefly wondered if maybe Clint and Elliott had been in on it together, as the timing was so perfect, but maybe she was simply overthinking things.)

Elliott looks completely at home, sitting cross-legged on the stump, worn down by spring rains. With the chicks in his lap and the errant flower petals in his hair, the man looks ever more like a regal prince from all the books and movies Marie had seen growing up.

“They’ve taken a liking to you,” she observes, reaching a finger in to give gentle pets to the soft downy chicks. They accept them, curious and cautious in their new home, but feeling brave under Elliott’s protection. “Have you thought of any names?”

Her husband looks up, green eyes wide. “Names? Oh, darling, I thought that was all you.”

“Nonsense! You picked them up, you should at least be able to name them. These ladies will need fine names, if they’re to live here on Shady Land. And you’re a writer, names are what you do!”

The chicks chirp in agreement, looking up at Elliott.

“Well…I was thinking this one could be Carmelina,” he murmurs, touching the lightest brown one. “Caramel, for the color, but the full name also means “vineyard of Yoba” so I find that fitting for the main exports of Shady Land, don’t you?”

Marie blinks. “You…knew the meaning of the name on the spot?”

“Of course! Clara was almost named Carmelina in Camellia Station, but I thought that would be too close to the title of the book, so I changed it. Still kept the C though.” He gets that wistful look on his face, a little lost in thought, as he usually does when trying to come up with next big ideas for his writing career.

The farmer giggles, giving more pets to Miss Daisy, who finally nosed out the cookies in Marie’s pockets. She gives one to her steadfast companion, looking at her husband with a newfound appreciation.

She takes a seat on the stump beside Elliott, looking up at him as they discussed further names for the chicks. The sun dripped down through the orchard’s branches, spreading dappled shadows up the short grassy expanse. Eventually, the cows and Miss Daisy wander back to their respective barns and stables, and the chicks doze off in Elliott’s lap. Marie delicately takes a couple – the newly named Carmelina and Dahlia – and heads off to the newly constructed coop to set them inside.

The chicks barely move when they’re set down in their new hay lined beds, clearly Elliott’s handiwork while Marie was tending to the house. The two of them hold hands, walking through the fields of Shady Land.

“You know, we could wash up and head to town. Get a late lunch at the Saloon, then maybe walk down by the beach?” Marie suggests, watching her husband for his response. She likes to spend as much time with him as possible before she loses him to his nightly writing routine, and there’s something a little tender about meandering down by the places they had fallen in love.

Elliott beams, nearly glowing with happiness. “That sounds delightful, dear. I’ll be sure to put on my best shirt.”

It’s not necessary to dress up for a 4pm lunch at the Stardrop Saloon, but Elliott likes to go the extra mile, and Marie can appreciate the little efforts to glamorize being a farmer’s husband. She kisses his dirt smeared cheek, standing side by side on the porch, and marvels at how far she’s taken the farm since her grandfather had worked the land.

Maybe someday she’d tell her husband about the vision she’d received a couple weeks ago, with her grandfather and the ultimate judging of her efforts so far, and the new, strange, blue flame candles on her grandfather’s shrine in the northwest corner of the farm. Someday. But not today.

“I wonder if Gus will have crab cakes,” she teases, stepping into their home, to the sounds of fire crackling in the fireplace and her husband enthusiastically waxing poetic about his favorite dish in the entire Valley.

Truly, it’s home.

[mysideblogofsurveys]

Survey 19

1. Do you wear accessories? Not really, just a thin hair tie on my wrist

2. Do you remember your childhood phone number? Address? Yes, my parents still have the same landline phone number and still live at the same address

3. Have you ever moved? If so, when/how many times? UGH SO MANY TIMES!  We moved the first time in Aug 2012 (from the Midwest to Seattle WA), then May 2014 (Seattle to Florida), then June 2019 (West Coast of FL to East Coast of FL) and we’ll be moving a FOURTH TIME sometime in Oct 2020 - not sure exactly when but we are for sure (back to the West Coast of FL).

4. Do you wear deodorant every day? I don’t >< I don’t trust the chemicals (aluminum) in deodorant so I just wash my pits every day and they’re fine.

5. What was the last thing you bonded with someone over? Umm, I can really only think of bonding with my husband over our shared interests

6. What are your plans for the upcoming weekend? UGH well we had the “Cat 1 Hurricane” that thankfully turned to a Tropical Storm - so we just stayed home and played video games and watched UFC.  Its actually supposed to pass through us today and so far, its just windy and rainy.  Nothing too bad.

7. What TV shows are you watching? I’m kind of between shows right now.  Just finishing Jason Mesnick’s season of the Bachelor on Netflix currently but not sure what I’ll put on after that.

8. What is your favorite music genre? I love so many - mostly Rock/Metal, Anime/Japanese songs and 80s.  I was heavily into Kpop for about 5 years but I’ve recently stopped paying so close attention. I still like it but definitely don’t follow it as closely as I did before.

9. What is something you’re super into right now? Honestly, nothing in particular. I need to find some type of hobby.  I want to start journaling or a journal of games I play (with screen shots) or something. but I never have the patience to sit a do stuff like that. However, I always want to play games like Stardew Valley (its always on my mind.  I just love that game so much).

10. Do you have a celebrity crush? Ok, I have a few haha: - Henry Cavill (Have you SEEN him build a computer? Or his role in the Witcher?? *heart eyes*) - Tom Hardy (I really liked him in Mad Max and Venom) - Do Kyungsoo and Park Chanyeol from EXO (Korean boy band) - I melt every time I hear their voices.

11. Do you have a goal you’re trying to accomplish? Yes but I can never decide what I want to spend my time on so I end up just wasting time.  Like this morning for instance - I get up at 8am, briefly scroll through social media/watched the Bachelor with WIP of a Stardew Valley fic open on my laptop but now its 10:30am and I added maybe 15 words to the fic...WHERE did the last 2 hours go?? I have all of these ideas but for some reason, I have the hardest time sitting down and typing it all out..and procrastinate and do this survey instead ><

12. What was your last dream? Did you tell anyone about it? I had a dream of a Stardew Valley one-shot (which is what I was trying to write this morning) but of course, didn’t get it written out.  I usually tell my husband about them

13. Do you like workouts where you count reps or by 30 seconds? I’ll take either.  I like working out

14. Whats your favorite thing to do on a Sunny day? What about a Rainy day? On a Sunny day, I like going for walks with my Husband and playing Pokemon Go.  On rainy days, I like sitting and studying something (like a language) or even playing games.

15. Do you have a "Rainy Day fund"? No, but I just push most of my income (whatever is left over after paying bills/buying the necessities) into my savings account.

16. Do you "RBF" (resting bitch face)? Not really?  But I get told I look “angry” sometimes?  I hate that I have that expression but I know I frown when I’m in deep thought ><

17. If your house was one fire, what is the first thing you would grab? As long as my Husband was safe, my second thought would be my computers and external hard drive.

18. What is your favorite feature about yourself? Worst feature? I like my eyes and smile, my worst feature..well I guess it’d be my social anxiety ><

19. What is your “must get” from the grocery store? (What item is always on your list?) Lately its been watermelon, a great snack. 20. Do you have a favorite show or song you put on every time you’re sad? Not particularly. I have a playlist of songs that I put on when I’m in that mood but no specific song or show 21. What is your favorite holiday? I like Thanksgiving and New Years Eve/Day 22. What is your dream occupation? UGH I wish I knew.  I’m in the financial field right now and I don’t really like it but its not too bad.  I know I don’t belong in this field but I don’t have experience in anything else to fall back on so I guess I’ll continue with it (plus I’m in my early 30s, I don’t want to have to start ALL OVER again since we’re finally close to getting a house and finally starting a family). 23. Do you like dressing up? Eh, not really.  I like casual, comfy clothes 24. Ever been on a cruise? Bungee jumping? I’ve been on several cruises (they’re a lot of fun!) but I have not bungee jumped..not sure if I’m brave enough for that. 25. Have you ever been on a date?  What has been your favorite date? I have been on quite a few dates!  My favorite one was going to a rock show for our 3 month anniversary (WAY back in May 2010) with my husband (well, he was just my boyfriend at the time :) ) 26. Have you ever been through a Hurricane?  Tornado? Earthquake? Well, Hurricane Irma in 2017 and Hurricane Dorian in 2019...lets hope we don’t have anymore this year >< I have not been through a Tornado or Earthquake. 27. Are you the adventurous type? I’d say so?  I don’t know many people who would move as much as we have 28. Do you live close to your family? No :/ all of my family (and in-laws) live in the Midwest.  Well, aside from my Mother/Father-in-law.  They are snowbirds and have a house on the West Coast of FL and we’re moving back to be closer to them in a couple months. 29. Are you creative?  Is there anything creative you’re working on right now? I WANT to be creative but I have a hard time sitting down and getting something done.  I have half-written about 20 fanfiction pieces (for several fandoms) since 2017 but I haven’t completed any of them. 30. Do you have a morning routine?  Nightly routine? - Morning routine on the week day: Get up, start coffee, take a shower, scroll through social media/watch a show before getting ready for work - Morning routine on the weekend: Get up, start coffee, wash my face, watch a show/play a video game/scroll through social media until my Husband wakes up Nightly routine on the week day: Get my lunch ready the night before, brush/floss, read at least 10-20 min then go to sleep by 11pm to get up at 6:15am Nightly routine on the weekend: Brush my teeth and go to bed lol

[sirens-gemberry]

So For anyone who knows the blog well enough, ya’ll know about how I did a reference sheet for Ren way back in early-late august. However, alot of the colors were....outdated, to put it lightly. Since then, my art and coloring style has improved; and I wanted to show that through a more updated reference sheet. And yes, I know I didn’t do the fancy highlighting hair thing as I did in other photos- however this is more-so to keep a reference on their base-colors. I could’ve-- and should’ve-- done a color pallet on the side, but eh. It’s a school night. 

Below will be separated in base-game information, route information, and lore information. Proceed carefully, as underneath the readmore is a lot of heavy topics, including all forms of abuse, alcohol, psychological disorders, and suicide. Note; that things are also very, very long underneath the readmore. Stay cautious, farmers! 

Base Game Info (Since it’s hard to read) 

Name: ‘Soren’ Ren E. Sharp 

Age: During Y1, 22

Birthday: Summer 17th, Cancer Zodiac

Pronouns: They/Them

Relations: Crushing on Abigail through Y1, Crushing on and Inevitably Marrying Shane Years 2 and Onward. Best Friends with Emily Fry, and Sam Velarms. Familial relationships with Yasmine Sharp; their sister, and eventually Harvey Lancaster- her husband. By Years 5, they are related to Nova Hale, their daughter, and Year 13; Finch Hale, their adopted daughter.

Hates: Rocks, Cave flies, Smoking

Dislikes: Milk, Alcohol (Post Year 3), Wild Horseradish, Fish (Aside from Tuna)

Likes: Cranberries, Fairy Flowers, Ruby

Loves: Fire Opal, Peaches, Apples, Summer Spangle

Proficiencies: Creative Arts, Creative Writing, Fishing, Animal Ranching 

Inept Skills: Mining, Combat, Social Interaction

Route Interactions (Ments of Alcohol, Suicide, etc. Proceed with Caution.)

0-2 Hearts: Very Suspicious and On guard, However they appear lighthearted and cheerful- even going as far as to regard the player as a friend upon first interaction. However, when asked about certain aspects of their life they immediately shy away from it, instead diverting the topic back to the player. It’s not until 2 hearts that they talk about their sister, and her somewhat aggressive nature; mostly apologizing for it. The more time goes on though, the more times they’re found in the saloon- very drunk- or just not within the town; instead opting to stay home. 

3 Hearts: At this point they start trusting the player more, and in one noted scene they are caught drawing on their front porch. They ask if you want to watch them draw, and eventually asking if you wish to draw something as well. They seem happy to do so, however there’s a noted touch of some melancholy under their tones. 

4 Hearts: As time goes on, the cheerful facade has started to fade, giving away to something darker that they either don’t know about or- more likely- refuse to acknowledge. 

5 Hearts: The player finds them in the midst of a suicide attempt gone awry around 12 AM, and ends up having to haul them over to Harvey’s clinic in the middle of the night. It’s there once having to go through being patched up and what-not that; that they come clean to the player on how everything they’ve been feeling, but still being uncertain about getting help. Through the player’s choices, they either will then or will within a later point in the game. 

6-8 Hearts: A lot happens within this time frame; including coming out to the rest of the town as a transmasculine nonbinary, as well as bisexual. Depending on the 5 heart event, the 7 heart scene includes helping them go to counseling for the first time; as they’re too scared to go on their own. Through this, you find out more about their true personality beyond the depressive and cheerful facades they put up. The 8 heart scene follows a touch more on their romantic aspect, asking the player to dance with them on the beach as one of their more spontaneous acts; but for the first time they seem genuinely happy. At least, the slight sliver of happiness that starts coming through. 

9-10 Hearts: After properly asking them out-- usually a much more teary cutscene than the normal one within the game itself-- they start acting more on their own accord, and visually brightening up around the player. Gifts from them will be more plentiful than in other heart levels, and notes will be genuinely romantic and well written. Their 10 heart Cutscene goes into how they’re happy that they met the player, and thanking them for being patient with them. Depending on the 5 Heart scene, they’ll either thank them as well for either encouraging them to go, or if they didn’t- that they do plan on going after today. They do then initiate a small but nervous kiss with the player just as its starting to rain, before nervously scampering off with a nervous apology- not giving the player ample time to respond to it. 

11-12 Hearts: If the player is within a relationship with them for over a year, there will be a cutscene where they propose to the player on one of their dates. However, if the player proposes to them first, they’ll get emotional and- depending on the player’s treatment to them- will say yes or no. The wedding is usually 3-4 days after the proposal all the same, and they wear a genuinely ambiguous outfit for their wedding. Afterwards, when they move in; they act usually very sweet and patient with the player, however there are instances where they won’t leave bed or the house due to a depressive mood. It’s noted that after the 10 heart cutscene, that they’ve started an antidepressant which the player will occasionally remind them of. They seem eternally grateful for the player, always having something either sappy to say- or borderline creepy due to their possessive nature. 

Lore Insight

Living with their sister, Yasmine, isn’t quite the walk in the park that they expected to on the farm. After all, dealing with their past mistakes and their past life is difficult- it constantly seeming to find a way to sneak back into their life. Especially considering there seems to be alot of bugs, and glitches, sneaking into the game. This is due to the nature of the 4th wall’s breaking coming with Yasmine knowing of her ability to shift between games other than Stardew Valley- and eventually Ren coming through with this ability as well. However, with Ren, the case is different since they cannot remember their adventures, besides what they see in their dreams. This explains how they hop between different save-files, and such of that nature. 

Depending on the year, they can go from a fake kind of bubbly behavior, to a depressive and anxious mess; however in later years they seem genuinely calm and happy. This is due to over time that their boyfriend and eventually husband; and their whole family being there through the recovery process as they come to terms with themselves, and get the help they need. Unlike in Shane’s route; they take much longer to recover and to start feeling something other than suicidal thoughts. 

Also depending on the year, they can be refered to as feminine or nonbinary/masculine pronouns, as they do come out as LGBTQ+ in late year 3. 

They are good in many things, especially in the creative department- and strive to try everything within the creative aspect at least once. Their other interests include gaming, cooking, taking care of animals, and spending time with their loved ones. They also enjoy riding on their horse, Jynx, and spending time by the small makeshift pier by the river down past Marnie’s farm. 

Depending on the time of the year, they either wear a daisy, tropically colored clip, or earmuffs on their head. It’s usually never drawn, mostly due to the artist’s forgetting. Shhh I’m sorry- 

Their mental disorders include Chronic Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and possible specks on the Autism Spectrum. Due to this, they have issues trying to maintain relationships due to their social ineptness, and sometimes need to be alerted as to what social cues are when, and to what’s going on during some aspects. They also have many sensory issues, mostly tactile and listening processing. Due to this; they absolutely cannot go to the city without noise cancelling headphones, or just headphones in general for their own music. Otherwise, they’ll go into a sensory overload, which usually involves an internal panic attack, selective mutism, and in most times as a result they end up exhausted and falling asleep at any chance they get. At any time like this, they usually get verbally despondent, and emotionally detached from themselves and others. And usually, simply some time alone in a more quiet or desolate environment will calm them back down to their usual self. With their anxiety, it’s the exact opposite, instead getting overwhelmed with emotion to the point it debilitates their logic and reasoning. They usually turn into a shaking, sobbing mess that only company and time can solve, and sometimes the aftereffects take hours, or even over the span of a day or two to mend. This goes for their depression as well, and their PTSD mostly plays into their nightmares, or certain triggering people and names. Usually, this ends up with a mixture between their anxiety and sensory overload, where they will have a silent panic attack, a shaking wheezing mess that usually only their music can get them back in touch with reality. Usually they’re hardly able to speak during this time, so all that can really be done besides leave them be to listen to music- especially during the nightmares- and if they permit it, physical affection or attention. It’s also due to their PTSD that they are hesitant to have any sexual relationships. It’s also due to this, that it takes over a year after being married to decide to take the next step in their relationship and have a child of their own- even after insisting they never would want one. 

Alot of their PTSD surrounds their home life previously, and their past relationships. After all, they dealt with physical and mental abuse from their parents, psychological and emotional abuse from their past partners, and sexual and psychological abuse at work. Ontop of this; many of their friends had left them over the years, due to their own their own lack of social adeptness. 

Despite eventually getting beyond their sexual fears, they are actually less sexually active than most of their friends. Also despite this; Yasmine still likes teasing Ren that they’re sexual every other day. Their therapist does mention on occasion that being more sexually active might be more healthy for their marriage with their husband, but have yet to follow on that due to their inexperience with following through. 

Underneath their bandages along their arms are many, many scars. Depending on the year, they look either more recent, or faded in time as they stop doing self-harm as a means of unhealthy coping. They also have scars along their cheek, neck, and their right shoulder and arm as time goes on- due to their injuries and misadventures. Underneath however, they seem to have chest scars from the transitioning chest surgery they have in year 11, and a scar along their stomach from a stomach surgery back in year 1-2. They have one last scar along their back, from yet another misadventure leading to a need to be patched up later by Harvey. 

Because of their ADHD, they can sometimes space out entirely for several moments at a time, before snapping back to reality. This is due to their focus, which definitely wanes between having hyperfocus days, and ones where they can’t even focus on anything around them. They also have days of super high energy, and severely low energy. 

Because of their past relationships, which were either abusive or emotionally detatched, they didn’t have much of a sense of how they should be treated. Just as well, they feel like they need to earn simple little things like compliments, affection, and such of the like. Overtime though, due to their touchstarved nature, they become almost addicted to the physical touch- especially so of their husband. As a result, they can be overly affectionate.

Despite their lack of knowledge of intimacy- due to a lack of knowing of anything besides the abuse in the past- they seem to have a poetic grasp on it. To them, it’s the little habits that no one else sees, amongst friends, family, or romantic partners. To them; intimacy isn’t inherently sexual, but it’s personal. Something they do try to explain to Shane, even if he may or may not understand as well as they do with the way they explain it. 

Due to the stress of their past, and sometimes of the present- their immune system is absolute garbage. Because of this, they have a severe tendency to get very, very sick. Because of this, also, they have small more permanant illnesses, such as a stomach disorder that can cause them severe pain without specific medication. 

Going off of that, despite how often they get sick- they have a horrible habit of refusing to take medication. In the past; Yasmine, Harvey, and Shane would need to keep them pinned down so they actually take the medication- going so far as to waterboarding them to actually take it. 

Ren is also a very water-spirited person, despite nearly drowning many times in their life. They love involving themselves with things water related; including taking showers and swimming often enough. Though usually they are sheepish about swimming due to body discomfort and swimsuit self-consciousness, so they just tend to shower often- especially after a bad day. It’s also for this reason they love storms and rainy weather so much. 

Despite not feeling like they’ve earned compliments, and such, they absolutely revel in them despite how modest they act about it. Especially ones about how appreciated they really are, considering they constantly feel like a pain in the ass.

Their natural personality is actually surprisingly goofy and cheerful, which is possibly why that the original facade they hold up within the game. However, their goofiness and cheerful is very genuine as they recover, that side of them returning full force. While they can be very mature at times when its needed, they do prefer acting more soft and lighthearted. 

Due to either their abuse in the past, or perhaps their autistic probability, they do have days where their natural empathetic personality can be completely nonexistent- instead falling into an apathetic state. They have a higher tendency to get in trouble in this kind’ve mindset, so it’s best to keep them inside.

They can also be extremely possessive, similarly to a Semi-Lucid, but Selfish yandere. These days usually can be resolved with a day of physical attention. However, in this state, their jealousy and self-consciousness goes into overdrive.They have the capacity to hurt others, though not their lover, in this state- out of fear of losing them. 

[yrbutchgf]

I have to do an essay for my Media class and I have hit a writer’s block. If you would like you can answer any of these. How do you feel about the way LGBT people are portrayed in the media? How has the increase in representation (or lack of) affected you? How do you feel when you see people like yourself in the media? If you saw Love Simon, how do you feel that movie impacted you? Do you have any stories about when you saw it? Any other thoughts on LGBT representatio in any form of media?

I’d love to! This sounds like a really interesting paper btw, if you decide to put it online anywhere please link me to it! My answers got long, so they’re below the cut.

1. How do you feel about the way LGBT people are portrayed in the media? How has the increase in representation (or lack of) affected you? How do you feel when you see people like yourself in the media?    Honestly, I don’t see myself in media at all. Like, at all. I’ve seen some lesbians in media, but never any butches. Never any stories that really revolve around gender nonconformity in general either. At the same time, I do really love the direction modern media is taking with respect to portraying LGBT people in a general way. Love, Simon and Moonlight are both wonderful, and they show the way that LGBT media is diversifying. LGBT media is no longer all artsy movies with weird, trippy plots and questionable age gaps in relationships – now we get some feel-good romcoms that deal with coming out, some dramatic films about coming out and how an LGBT identity can intersect with a racial identity… obviously there’s very few of these movies that are very broadly known, but the fact that they’re starting to gain notoriety says a lot.     I don’t really love how a lot of TV shows are handling LGBT identities right now. Thinks like V/oltron and similar cartoon shows are clearly q*eer-baiting and it’s so insidious to see it happen in things like that because, like, it’s for little kids – god knows what amount of younger LGBT kids felt their hearts break when they found out about the one of two canon gay characters in the show’s fate. At the same time, though I don’t think it’s perfect, I do love how much representation Steven Universe has given us – the first children’s television show to show a lesbian wedding! Incredible.     San Junipero, from Black Mirror, is also very important to me. That’s the first thing of anything I’ve ever seen that focused on a romance between two women. Not only that, but both characters were complex, and it included romance of both a bisexual woman and a lesbian in love. I loved the nuance in the romance and the way they conflicted and contrasted over Kelly’s late husband, and the fact that all of this was happening in a sci-fi universe…everything about it just made my heart sing. Black Mirror is a gift, and it’s one of the few things I can think of that really showed a romance between two women realistically, respectfully and tenderly.      There’s also podcasts like The Adventure Zone, video games of everything from Stardew Valley to Fallout 4 (apparently there’s a lesbian couple in the game, I found this out a few days ago!), but those I think fall into a different category for me because they’ve a lot less cultural influence than movies and TV shows. In all forms of media we have a long way to go in displaying diverse LGBT experiences, ESPECIALLY with respect to gender nonconformity, lesbians and trans people in general, and with LGBT people of color too. But – there’s been a lot more in the past few years, and it does warm my heart.

2. If you saw Love, Simon, how do you feel that movie impacted you? Do you have any stories about when you saw it?      A friend of mine, his name is Pat, is the only gay guy in the entire town that I know to be completely out of the closet. He and I started talking after we had a culinary class together, and we – me, him, and a bisexual friend of mine – decided to go see Love, Simon in theaters last year when it first came out. All three of us had read the book and loved it.      I remember feeling really touched by the coming out scene. I’d never had an experience like Simon’s because, thank God, my family and friends are all very open-minded, accepting (and many of them, LGBT) people – but I could still relate to it a lot. Coming out in a car was one of the big things for me. I’ve come out three times in a car. Something about it. Maybe the fact that you’ll escape the situation soon if it gets awkward anyway. But also, the order that he came out to people in, too, the fact that he started with a new friend and worked back to people he’d known for a long time…it was really well-written in that respect.      I remember Pat sobbing next to me for most of the movie, especially when Simon came out to his mother. Pat’s family wasn’t as accepting of him for a while when he first came out, and I think it just really hit home for him. (He also had a thing for the guy that played Simon, so. I mean, I kinda liked Blue more, but I get the appeal.)      At the end of the movie, people started clapping for such a long time…at several points during the movie people would turn around and show Pat that they were crying, too. I remember a lot of friends of mine being in that movie theater just by chance, all of us deciding to see it on opening night, none of us coordinating it, but we all just happened to be in that movie theater together, all in one row, experiencing it at the same time. It felt so communal in a way that my area rarely has happen. But even people who didn’t know each other started talking at the theater as we sat down. People saying they brought tissues, they brought tea, things like that. My area isn’t really the type of area just to strike up conversation. We don’t do that. Love, Simon made us do that.      Pat went and saw that movie I think four more times. He’s a doll, and I’m so happy to know him.

3. Any other thoughts on LGBT representation in any form of media?      One of the things that frustrates me a lot in conversations of LGBT representation, and especially with lesbian representation, is people often saying that butch lesbians are somehow “over-represented” in media. I’ve never experienced that. I’ve never experienced so many butches in media that I didn’t know what to do with them. I remember making a lot of my own representation; I wrote several stories before I knew I was butch with a masculine lesbian as the lead. But that was self projection. Somehow, even though nearly every piece of lesbian representation is skewed toward male consumption (overly sexualized kisses, voyeuristic poses, the tenderness bleached out and replaced with headiness) and nearly every lesbian in media is feminine – despite all this, and despite the fact that I have yet to find a single movie or TV show about a butch lesbian character – despite this, people always tell me that butches are over-represented. I don’t know where they’re looking. I would love to live in the world they live in, where people like me are commonplace. I think we need to push to get GNC and trans individuals shown more in media. We need to get leads, we need to get romances, we need to show that we can have stories that aren’t all avant garde as shit!      The other thing we need to do is diversify our acting pool. Moonlight is, I think, the only movie I can think of that focuses on black gay men, and solely black gay men. I actually don’t know of any others off the top of my head. That’s a problem! I definitely couldn’t name any movies about black trans people, certainly not about a black trans woman, or a black trans lesbian – it just isn’t a thing we make a lot of, which is really just the intersection in lesbo/homo/bi/transphobia and racism manifest in a visual form. But it’s a problem we need to deal with.

I rambled a lot. I hope this is coherent and makes sense and stuff? Let me know if you have anything you want clarity on or something or any follow-up questions. Good luck on your paper!

[spiralatlas]

PAX Australia 2017 Day 3

There are no notes for Day 2 because I spent it socialising a little and sleeping a lot.

Queer Coded: A History of LGBTQIA+ Gaming

David Gaider Q&A

Brian Fairbanks Talks about Addressing Accessibility Through Game Design

Misc: I spent a chunk of the day in the diversity lounge which was fun. I met some great people at the Gender Diverse card game, and got to the semi finals of the Xena Nintendo 64 Fighting Game Tournament (there were only three rounds, but given how much I suck at fighting games this was still a happy surprise, and a sign of what a random button masher the game is)

The gender neutral toilets near the diversity lounge were very well done, unlike GCAP the original signs weren't visible and "with stalls/urinals" was in small letters like an afterthought.

I didn't break anything on Day 3 but did break a mug the next morning. Also the cinema in the Crown Casino is surprisingly inaccessible.

Despite the various mishaps I had a great time and will definitely come again next time we can afford it.

Queer Coded: A History of LGBTQIA+ Gaming

I missed the second half of this to see David Gaider, feeling very annoyed at the programmer.

Anny Sims @ChattyAnny on twitter (I was too slow to get the others!) Keely Thirkell Hayley Williams Soap Pejovic

Most queer characters are just queer coded, with plausible deniability. "It's up to you".Tendency for queer characters to be villains. Indie games tend to be more queer friendly than AAA games.

Lesbians: First known queer character in games: 1986 Moonmist had side-character who was a lesbian murderer.

Other notable lesbian characters:

KOTOR 2003, Juhani, first queer Star Wars character

Gone Home 2013

Dragon Age Inquisition Sera (I thought Sam Traynor from Mass Effect 3 came first?)

Tracer from Overwatch 2016

Trans characters:

1988 Birdo from Super Mario Brothers 2 "A male who believes he is female"

Lots of others but all terrible. Jokes and villains. Trans women seen as threat. Poison from Final Fight 1989, "so you can hit a woman".

Krem DAI 2014 trans man, You can't go "Ok, cool".

Hainly Adams MEA 2017 trans woman. Tells you her deadname, this was patched.

Horizon: Zero Dawn 2017 trans man

Dream Daddy 2017 trans man. One throw away line about wearing a binder, had to be clarified by writers. Non binary people and cosplayers wear binders too!

How do you make it clear they're trans without them implausibly outing themselves or just having it be word of god?

Gay men:

1993 fmv Dracula Unleashed has speaking role

Tended to be background characters, jokes and villains again. No m/m relationships shown onscreen.

Dreamfall: the Longest Journey 2006 (not made super clear until 2015)

Steve Cortez Mass Effect 3 2012

Dorian DAI 2014

Dorian knew exactly what his sexuality was. Coming of age narratives get boring.

Bi Characters (no picture because they're invisible):

1993 Ultima 7 part 2 bi character propositions character regardless of gender.

"Slutty bisexuals". A lot of characters are playersexual and it never comes up outside the relationship.

Zevran DAO 2009

Borderlands 2009

Fable 2004 let player be bi, Fable 2 2008 added bi PCs

Playersexual:

Only queer in the context that they will date players of both genders, but you don't see that unless you play as both.

Dragon Age 2 2011, Anders only mentions his ex-boyfriend if you play as a male PC

Fallout 4 2015. Did have background queer characters.

Stardew Valley 2016

Non Binary:

1995 Chrono Trigger villain

Often robots, aliens or other non human

Frisk Undertale 2015

Life is Strange 2015

Zer0 Borderlands 2 2012

Turing Read Only Memories

Some games let you have gender neutral pronouns.

David Gaider Q&A

1999 Working on Balder's Gate 2, didn't talk about his sexuality at work. Figured he would always be writing stories for straight people.

He was shocked to hear Jade Empire was having same sex romance. Got to be lead writer on DAO after that. "So I can put same sex romances in, right?". More economical to have bi romances, but he would have been happier having some gay characters.

Feeling iffy about playersexuality after DA2, he asked for 2 straight, 2 bi, 2 gay for DAI. "Minority content" is weighed via the percentage of those who play it and those who appreciate it. Eg 5% play dwarves but most see it as a positive thing to be able to do.

Most of his time was spent on the actual plot but Dorian was the most personal writing.

He was targeted by Gamergate but it doesn't compare to, for example, how much Jennifer Helper was targeted.

10 years on Dragon Age was enough, his head would explode if he had to write another story about templars and mages.

How did you get the job: His story is very specific. He was managing a hotel and a comic book artist in his spare time. A friend was a character artist at Bioware but Gaider wasn't really aware of the specifics. Bioware told their employees "If you know anyone who does game related writing let us know", the friend gave them Gaider's LARP rule book without asking. Got a call, gave the stories he wrote in highschool, got offered a job. He said no, it didn't pay enough, but then he got fired from the hotel. It felt like a sign.  

Who do you think will take the romance torch from Bioware: he’s not sure they're giving it up? EA treats romance fans as a reliable audience who don't need to be advertised to, even though it's why a lot of people play in his experience (though obviously those are the kinds of fans he will tend to meet). There is an underserved audience.

Most proud of: Lots of stuff he's not proud of. Wishes he'd been more involved in community discussions early on. Proud that the team tackled issues as they started arising. Proud of the company for standing by them. Most proud of Dragon Age 2 despite the mixed response. They had very little time to create it. It’s like a very big first draft. They had a plan but didn't get to compare notes once things were written, so he had to trust the team would stick to plan as much as they could despite things being cut on the fly. Team said they were happy in a post-game survey, didn't feel he was too dictatorial.

What does your writing look like, a screenplay? A cutscene does. But it’s generally structured like a tree that expands and then contracts back to the core path before expanding again. Flow charts.

Favourite relationship in a game? Morden in Mass Effect. Cried more than in a movie. Tali was his space girlfriend. Of the ones he's worked on, Morrigan will always be closest. She represents Dragon Age to him. Joyous time working with Claudia Black, first celebrity he'd worked with. Flemeth was originally Arabic, but that actress couldn't do it so they got Kate Mulgrew. They stopped looking for an Arabic actress for Morrigan and looked for someone who matched Kate Mulgrew. Claudia Black's audition tape was her reading Smack That like a beat poet. Gaider was very nervous, he'd never spoken to any actor before. First rule he was told was don't compare them to another celebrity, so naturally he said "I had Helena Bonham Carter in mind when I wrote Morrigan". Claudia Black said "So you're saying I'm a cheap Helena Bonham Carter ;D". She would say "Does he want me to do it more like Helena?" during recording.

Has being so closely associated with diversity had downsides? He may be gay but he's still white and a dude. He feels like it's all he talks about conventions sometimes. Teams need to sit down and look at what they've made. Lot of things made individually without concern for the bigger picture eg only 15% speaking roles in DAI were female until they stopped and looked at it and fixed it.  

"We didn't think about it" is no longer a defense. He wants to help with that, but we should be helping other marginalised voices get into the industry and amplifying their voices.

Wishes it could just be expected and we didn't have to discuss it.

He likes dating sim mechanics in the context of a larger story. But he does like the idea of romance not being as tertiary as it's been in Bioware games, romance as part of the adventure eg a romantic adventure. He's not really interested in social sims or day to day relationships. "My idea of a spicy relationship is to have my life threatened."

Why do you think most AAA companies try to avoid discussions of lgbt stuff, why is it taking so long? Because it's Pandora's Box. There is more being added casually. But if they do nothing they get lumped in with the rest of the industry. As soon as they do anything there are 2 sides: 1. why are you doing this, you're politicising your game. 2. Why aren't you doing more, whatever you did is wrong and not good enough.

Not that flawed attempts should be above criticism. But by mostly focusing criticism on the games that did anything rather than nothing, people have increased the feeling that it's Pandoras box. He understands that it feels like those developers might listen to criticism but the dynamic is sending the wrong lesson.

My question: How do you think inclusion of non binary player characters can work with including gay and lesbian love interests instead of just having playsexuality? “We've thought about it”. He defined playersexual for audience, like Shroedinger's sexuality. He doesn't like it when the only way to have something show up is to have the character talk about it. eg asexual: character would have to sit you down and explain what asexuality is. Is unsexy as a feature. Explaining nuances of sexuality is off putting. If there was more nuance across the industry that would mean no one game has to do everything. Any one game can have only so much within it.

(This doesn't actually answer my question. I discussed it with my husband afterwards and even he didn't understand what I was asking, so I may have garbled it in my nervousness)

Are some choices "canon"? One of the features of Mass Effect and Dragon Age was the continuity of choices. No "canon" but there is a default. A lot of people feel like they have to play the whole series to get the full experience, was off putting, and he found the Keep a nightmare as a writer.

They had editors keeping track of which choices were incompatible. And that was just the third game. "Can you imagine for a fourth game? Phew! Not my problem :D"

Have you thought about the morals of gamifying romance, saying what people want to hear to get sex? Dragon Age didn't work that way, sex was not at the end. Some characters in DAI had no sex scenes, sex is optional for Dorian's romance. It's a game, everything is gamified, you can't simulate actual relationships. For proper reactivity you’d have to mark every response and keep track of inconsistency, but that’s too much work. Same with polyamory: too many variables!

Maybe get away from the approval system? Pay more attention to overall choices in major quests etc instead of individual lines.

Bi characters in DAI were bi from the start. Not the first thing that comes up during character creation eg Dorian started out as "the good Tevinter". Helps avoid too many assumptions based on sexuality. But once characters started solidifying they would think about who worked for what sexualities. There's no set way to write someone "as" bi, but the writer can have them talk about relevant things in other scenes. Sera's writer is a straight dude, he didn't want to write About The Lesbian Experience, and got lesbians in the company to check out what he was writing.

Have relationships gotten more or less complicated? In Balder's gate 2 there was a single sequence of romance scenes which you could get kicked off. Dragon Age had approval. If it gets complicated but the player can't see it or understand how reactions relate to their previous actions it just seems random or predetermined. Unless they say "I am angry at you because of X", but noone says that.

Brian Fairbanks Talks about Addressing Accessibility Through Game Design

lostandhound1 on twitter

His notes.

He's not blind himself, and while he obviously cares a lot about accessibility had an unfortunate tendency to treat disabled people as a separate, if respected, "Other" to himself and the audience, even though I was right there in a bright red mobility scooter. He advocated person first language, "a person with blindness" etc, but not all disabled people like it and it shouldn't be presented as unambiguous best practice. I'm building up the energy to talk to him about it.

He's a sound designer.

Audio games: designed for people with a vision disability.

Audio game jam: the games tended to be about blindness as a bad thing. It felt victimising.

How can we make people feel powerful?

He was inspired by his dog's amazing sense of smell. The mechanic is that you follow an invisible trail using sound cues, a humming noise that gets louder and quieter.

Sighted people struggle with extracting information from sound. The game is more difficult for sighted people.

He had to add fruit on the ground as an accessibility measure for sighted people.

All music is diegetic: happening inside the world of the game, eg characters are singing.

There's a lack of much budget for audio games, since they're never going to make much money.

In 30 years current 30-something gamers will need accessible games.

Accessibility tends to be added as an afterthought or accident.

For example Pokemon has unique sounds for materials, collisions, monsters that accidentally make it accessible.

Sony reader: US only

Microsoft narrator: good but hard to use as a developer

EA: Proactively adding blind accessibility

Fighting games are often in stereo, blind players can play and even win tournaments.

Demand more from your games.

Developers: find a consultant. Address accessibility early.

It's about empathy. People with disability deserve the same stories to take part in as everyone else.

gameaccessibilityguidelines.com

daisyalesoundworks

binaural sound is going to make a big difference

audiogames.net: where blind gamers go to play games. They're supportive if you ask for advice and feedback.

People don't mind if you don't do immersive, game specific voices and just rely on the screenreader

Sound designers need more love to make VR accessible.  

Braille games?? He doesn't know much about it.

Curb cut effect examples: curb cuts for wheelchairs but also useful for prams etc. Subtitles. Think about short term problems that benefit from accessibility as well eg the screen is broken, there's sunlight on the screen etc.  

Sounds of a blind person navigating their desktop. To me it sounds like a mangled garble of little bursts of cut off computer speech, here’s a description of what’s going on.

[crossingmarket]

Favorite Switch games

I’m a pretty picky nerd, so it’s safe to call me a “Nintenerd” I mostly play Nintendo systems. so I’m going to make a couple posts for my favorites. I would do it all in one BUT my 3DS list is really long!

here are my fav Switch games, in no particular order & I’ll include hours with my most played :) but unlike the 3DS the Switch doesn’t show your hours for ALL games in your library..

Dragon Quest Builders 2- 96 hours! I haven’t even played the first one, but I really think I need it now. I also have the Season Pass for this game, I hope to see more content because I’m addicted! I wish it was a couch co-op

Quest Hunter- I played this game non stop until I beat it. it’s also a couch co-op which I LOVE! not many games feature this mode anymore. I also played with my husband on his save file, but we never finished cus he’s lame!

My Time at Portia- 185 hours! WOW. I really loved this game, past tense because I finished the story line & all the donations to the museum. I hope to see more content with this game as well, I hear so many good things about the PC version but I’m too lazy to sit at my husbands desktop to play games. the only thing I hated about this game was the random force quits & crazy long load times... I tried to keep it running all the time to avoid the load times!

Pokemon Let’s Go Eevee- 50 hours. I actually took the pokeball controller to work with me to “train” pokemon :P 

Pokemon Quest- for a free game, it was pretty legit! 

Harvest Moon: Light of Hope- I’ve seen a lot of hate towards this game but I really liked it, maybe it gets hate because it’s relaxing & not a “beat em up” style game? I also have the DLC for this gem

Yoshi’s Crafted World- (a lot of hours, I’m sure) this game was beautiful! I loved the amiibo function & graphics. another couch co-op, this one my husband & I both were addicted to until we beat it! it has so much to do, we still haven’t finished everything! 

Yonder- never finished it, I’m one of those gamers that gets stuck & never finishes some games.. but I really liked it up until I got lost. maybe I should look up a guide lol

Stardew Valley- I like this game but once I got to the desert, it was too much for my anxiety. I don’t LOVE it as much as it’s hyped.. it’s a really cool game, but it’s kinda grindy in my opinion & that’s not my style.

Farm Together- it’s a very different type of farming game & it’s pretty cool. I did get the DLC for it but I didn’t get into it as much as some of my internet friends

Little Dragon’s Cafe- WHAT A GEM! I loved this game & recommended it to a lot of people. it’s cute & fun, I was addicted to it for awhile but got closer to the end & got bored of it.

Kirby Star Allies- I love Kirby games & this one did not disappoint! it’s also a couch co-op. it has some cute mini game type dealios outside of the story line too. it has very little amiibo functionality, it gives you puzzle pieces for scanning amiibo.  when this game came out, there was a My Nintendo Rewards scavenger hunt on it’s website 

Lego City Undercover- wow another couch co-op, yes I get them on purpose! I thought this would be a kid’s game but it turned out to be really cool in my opinion & my husband played it with me too! 

Captain Toad Treasure Tracker- this is the cutest puzzle game! to be honest, we had this on Wii U so we didn’t get as into it on Switch & have yet to play the DLC... but if you haven’t played it, it’s worth looking into! this game also had a My Nintendo scavenger hunt.

Super Bomberman- like the 5th couch co-op on my list haaha This is a throwback game & one of my deciding factors on buying a Switch, it’s actually one of the games we bought WITH the Switch. My sister & I actually beat this game together, as we used to play it growing up :)

Hyrule Warriors: DE- um I didn’t know I liked this type of game but I really got into it! I mained Linkle & will not play without her! this is of course, another couch co-op, one of which my husband & I couldn’t stop playing for awhile after we got it

Thimbleweed Park- this is a $20 awesome ass indie game! I wish there was a sequel, because I love a mystery! 

Little Inferno- another indie game with bang for your buck, at $9. this is a short & dark game, it’s actually pretty cool puzzle game! 

**Favorite multiplayer games that I don’t really like alone: 1-2 Switch, Arms, Mario Kart 8, Crash Team Racing & Super Mario Party.

& that’s all for Heidi’s favorite Switch games :) if you have ANY recommendations, I am always open to try them!

[mysideblogofsurveys]

Survey 17

At your part of the world, is it summer now? Yes it is

What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest? It can get pretty hot, like over 100 degrees.  Coldest is about mid-40s in the Winter.

Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now? Yes, I’m trying to not waste time on social media.  I want to dedicate my time to actual hobbies.

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town?           Its actually pretty easy to find my preferred field in most places (financial field is everywhere) but I don’t particularly like it.

When is the last time you went to a fun fair? We went to a fair in January this year, it was a lot of fun.

How about an amusement park? Its been a very long time, I honestly don’t even know when that was       

Did you/will you take part in your city’s Pride parade this year? No

If not, why not? Its not for me. It doesn’t bother me if other people do though!

Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? I don’t believe that it should be the woman’s job to propose - again, its not my place to say what other people do.  An old friend of mine proposed to her husband but I would never do it.

How would you feel, if you were proposed to? I was elated and excited and just so in love :) We got engaged 2 years ago and married 5 months ago

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy? Only the first game.  I’d love to replay it though!

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? Can’t comment :/ I never made it too far into the game.

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to? It really depends on the situation.  I’m really hesitant to give people money unless they’re legitimate (then I will)

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Most of the time, yes

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home? I honestly wouldn’t mind either.

What was the last game that you played? My husband and I were played Stardew Valley last night! I’m supposed to get my copy of Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town today and I can’t wait to play it!  I loved the original one (on Gameboy Advance)

Where was the postcard from that travelled the longest way to you? I never really bought postcards but the furthest I’ve traveled is either Ireland, Germany or Czech Republic

Have you ever made jewelry? I think I did when I was younger but dont have an interest in that now

Have you ever upcycled anything? If so, what? I’m sure I have, but not sure what it was.  I have a ton of mason jars (just ones I’ve kept from Peanut Butter or Jellys so I wanna do something with those).

Which app do you use the most on your phone? Ha, probably Tumblr >< I’m debating on deleting it though because I hate being so attached to my phone.  I tell myself that if I want to scroll through social media, I can do it on my computer instead (then I’d have to sign in and all that stuff)

Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one? I did, I played Alto Saxophone 5th - 12th grade

What is the best part of your most ordinary day? Getting up and having coffee.  I always want to get up, have coffee and dedicate my mornings to something creative - like writing or learning a language.  I’ve been on and off with both German and Japanese for years but can never decide which one I want to fully dedicate myself to lol. I also have wanted to write a Harvest Moon fanfiction story so I want to explore that, too)

If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.) Would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore? Ah, well if its something urgent like that, I’d probably do it right away. Otherwise, I’m kind of lazy before I get to something.

Do you enjoy being on your own? Yes I do, too much in fact.  I always tell myself I want friends but when it comes down to it and I actually have someone to talk to, I always chicken out (and use an excuse like I have nothing in common with the other person).  Regardless if we have anything in common, I need to start talking to people and just reach out.

Or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you? It depends.  Not too many people

Have you ever been to a zoo? If so, which one(s)? I”ve been to a ton of zoos.  The ones in my hometown (in the midwest), Seattle’s zoo and the zoo in the city I hope to move back to one day (on the other side of my state).  We were going to go to Germany in Sept (but obviously, thats cancelled now) but we had plans to go to the Berlin Zoo.

How about petting zoos? I’ve been to quite a few of those, too.

Have you thrown you “winter coat” off yet? I haven’t used a winter coat since I visited my hometown in Feb.

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean? OH all the time.  I love learning bits and pieces of different languages

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? I’m sure theres a few but I can’t think of any right now.

What’s a First World problem that you have? Having access to fresh water that we definitely take for granted (there have been a few times that our water was shut off due to maintenance and wow, I can’t imagine NOT having fresh water right out of the faucet immediately when I want it.  OR plumbing.

Do you use food products that are advertised as more healthy? Probably.  We try to read the labels on all food products but theres no guarantee that those are truthful, either.  We also try to shop on the outside of the aisles (as thats more meat, produce instead of packaged items)

Does it matter to you if the produce you use is organic? Yes, because I don’t want food that is tampered with.  I just want the natural version, even if its smaller.  I don’t want chemically enhanced, color enhanced, etc, anything.  One thing that really pisses me off is seedless fruits - WHY are they seedles?? If these farms/companies are tampering with the fruit to make them seedless, that means I’m dependent on THEM to produce it.  They take away my ability to use those seeds to grow my own - if that makes sense (obviously I’m sure I could buy seeds separately but the fruits are supposed to produce the seeds naturally and they’re removing that important ability).  I just don’t trust it.

If so, why? I explained above..kind of went on a rant there lol

What has been the worst sort of physical pain that you have felt? Probably cramps.  As I get older, they’re getting worse :/

Are your pains generally more acute or chronic? Acute I suppose

Do you collect anything? Video games, anime merch..I’m all about that stuff lol

If you could be doing absolutely anything right now, what would it be? Not having to go to work :/ I gotta get ready to go soon

Do you read any web comics? Not really, I read a lot of fanfiction though. It makes me want to write my own.

Which social media platform do you use the most, if any? Ugh, Tumblr.  Or Twitter but Twitter is pissing me off lately.  Too many idiots on it and its too political.

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song? Nothing I’ve uploaded, just singing along and changing the words.  My husband and I both do it

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? Probably tag?