#so i should have that ready. this week
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stardewvalley......
#i checked yesterday and i had something like 101 hours and#i checked just now and i have 111 i think#lots of stardew. too much stardew. but i love my husband and i need 2 provide for him and ...#need to expand my fucking HOUSE#and maybe get a shed for all this extra brewing & aging i'm doing now that i have wine and mead and cheese and ALSO hops#i'm just excited :3 i love rediscovering how addicting a game is.... especially when there's no microtransactions or whatever#it's all just your own effort to get things#my course is nearing its end also. very short course. excited to be done with it. i need to make a resume. augh#my mum is like 'ok u gotta make a resume & cover letter so u can go right to the school board and be like GIVE ME A JOB#as soon as u get out of school'#so i should have that ready. this week#anywaybs. wish me luck#mayhap i will post screenshots of my stardew progress cuz i like my house and animals n stuff#and it just turned spring in the game so i'm all !!! yay sunshine and flowers and plants and farming weeeeehehehe#and more coffee plants so i can give harvey coffee every day..... i am a good spouse
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i just feel like someone should take one for the team and write the fanfic where miss homotron goes to dragonstone on foot, meets her situationship’s new lover, and immediately goes like blind with jealousy and fury (rhaenyra, as always when alicent’s near, looks and behaves like a very confused kicked puppy)
i just need homotron and saphotron to meet, so the real war can begin
#alicent’s already felt the shift in the winds and she took that shit hard#now that she has touched grass and connected with mother nature she’s ready to get her woman back#but not before she like screams at her for like a week straight#like i want unhinged#like not even mysaria knows how to react cause homotron is so deranged she might self-implode at any moment and take them all with her#in fact it seems like that would be the preferred out come for the woman#and rhaenyra is so pathetic she cannot get a word in (the same woman that walks to the dragon pit and commands the largest dragon to serve#but then Alicent’s there and mysaria is pretty sure that the targaryen queen is a moment’s away from bending the knee#really puts in perspective the green’s previous tactics when they possessed the biggest threat to rhaenyra to date#it doesn’t seem like Alicent wants to destroy rhaenyra though it seems like she just wants to yell at her a bunch#rhaenyra is like ‘she is helping me win this war!’ and alicent’s like OKAY CHEATER#mysaria is not sure if she should bolt or get some popcorn#jace is having an aneurysm#rhaenicent#hotd#house of the dragon#rhaenyra x alicent#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#mysaria
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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'tumblr i told you to stop sniping my post quality' translation: 80's sequel to this so click for better quality
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#masato arakawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#n e way ignore the fact ive made arakawa's chain gold now. my blind ass only now realized it's gold and not silver#MY LOUDEST TEEHEE this was the vision..... this was the vibe i wanted.. teehee..#they're silly to me.... they're SOOO silly i want them to be fumbling dads together only to perfect parenthood down the line#every time i draw something like this i ALWAYS want to put my dumb Fake Doujin title somewhere the urge is SO strong#i love manga covers and i love making fake manga covers....#maybe i should make one of those Ungodly Long-As-Hell fan webcomics like they used to back in the 2010's....#just straight 200 pages of arasawa domestic content...#legend behavior... which is why i couldnt im not built like that ☠️#ok im done looking at this bye. i have to watch. The Correct SP Finale ☠️☠️☠️#im starting to get back the drawing flow so... hopefully more stuff this week... and.. get the drums and fanfare ready..#i do got a cute lil comic with ichi and arakawa planned <3#would love if i can do that soon... ok bye movie time
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Tbh,,, my friends,,, I'm not sure how I feel about how this one turnned out,, but I wanted to draw something with E.nel for pride before the month was over,,, so it is what it is ✌🏾😔
#the baseball art i have saved in my drafts im much more pleased with 😭#i finished that on Friday... but i dont like posting art too close to one another... so that one will have to wait till later in the week#or next week idk yet#also i wanted to post that baseball one this morning instead heck i even had it ready in my que but i finished this last night/this mornin#so i figured it should come first 😔#self shipping art#self ship#self ship art#self shipping#selfshipping#f/o#fictional other#fiction other art#my post#my art#saskia don't look
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It’s been 0 weeks since the World Cup finale, 17 weeks to go until sgp and 34 weeks to go until next season.
#and we are back 🫠👍#first countdown post is always the worst one#but it will get better just not now or the next weeks#trying to uphold some sense of community with these countdowns#i am not ready for the tag to die#and to not have any comps in the foreseeable future and with that no sj content#I'm fine this is fine#😭😭😭#oh I forgot this is also the first post that gets the offseason tag this is bad#someone sedate me until next winter#yeah I am feeling totally normal about this sure that's a completely healthy reaction#the range of emotions I went through preparing this post#and in case you're wondering I always plan to prepare these posts for a few weeks or the whole offseason in advance and never do it#so of course I frantically open tumblr at 11:59 am on sundays accompanied by muttering shit shit shit and type the post and tags#plans made but chaos reigns#there are no fixed calendars out yet they are usually discussed and approved in the spring meeting in april#but I based this on the last years so it should be more or less accurate :)#ski jumping#offseason2024#sgp countdown 24#actually it's 25 because it counts as part of the new season but that seem awfully confusing so it stays 24 here#sj countdown 24#same with this one technically it's 24/25 but yeaaahhh the season starts in 24 so it's fine
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No because Sun does not understand what "no" means.
Ongsa said that she didn't want to do the scholarship program with her and Sun took it the worst possible way:
Then Ongsa was upset that Sun just outed not just their relationship but also that she is not straight to her parents, Sun was immediately defensive and made it about her:
But let's also look at not their literally just started relationship.
Sun decided that Aylin gets hugged because "that's what friends do" even though it's very clearly not what Aylin does.
When Ongsa was still "Earth" and Sun asked Earth to meet up she always said it was fine if he couldn't but would become bitter when Earth never showed up.
Sun is so lost in her own self that she should not be in any relationship. She needs to learn to be a partner and listen when her partner expresses a concern or a hurt. Sun doesn't get to decide that someone's reaction to her actions are more painful and worse. She doesn't get to unilaterally decide things about her relationships with people and be upset when people disagree. She loves Ongsa but she sure doesn't like her enough to actually learn anything about her. Like...oh I don't know...how comfortable Ongsa is with being out. Or anything about her relationship with her parents.
It is okay to be ready for different things at different times. It is not okay to decide someone else's readiness for them and be upset when they're not actually there yet.
#23.5#23.5 the series#23.5 series#in case anyone didn't know i am big mad about this#cause like i feel like ongsa and i have similarish home lives#or my home life in high school#my parents were supportive and i knew they were supportive#i knew i could come out and still have a home and still be loved#but i had a lot of internalize biphobia i had to deal with before i was ready to be out to myself let alone my parents#i can't imagine the pain of someone making that decision for me before i was ready#and i had much more of a backbone than ongsa has#next week is going to hurt because sun decided hurting ongsa by outing her wasn't enough#sun perceives her hurt as far more important and bigger so she hurts ongsa further by breaking up with her#and of course it's going to be ongsa that is heartbroken and fights to get the relationship back#when sun should be begging ongsa for a second chance#but we're not gonna get that because the show has already decided that sun can do no wrong
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she's beauty she's grace she's Miss Eevee Cosplay 3.0
#personal#pls don't ask me why i'm up at 2am i don't wanna talk about it#anyway i think she's mostly done maybe#i did some more work on the bangs on the wig after i took these pictures so they look better#and i might try to find some flowery earrings when i go to the store for some other stuff tomorrow#but all the major things are done. i think.#honestly i'm all over the place rn so i could be forgetting something#i keep bouncing back and forth between the one million things i have to do (con and not con-related)#anyway i usually try to do a different cosplay every day of con but idk i think i'll just wear flower eevee both saturday and sunday#bc i've put so much work into it and tbh i don't think i can handle trying to get another cosplay ready rn#the only exception would be maybe doing eevee 1.0 or 2.0 bc have everything except the wigs for those ready bc of eevee 3.0#totoro is friday bc my friends and i are doing a ghibli group!!#i wish i had a different ghibli cosplay just bc i've done totoro so much but i do love totoro and she's easy and comfy so that'll be nice#sorry shutting up now i need to go to bed i have WORK TOMORROW#cries#i should start taking off the whole week of convention lol#(no i shouldn't i should just get back in the habit of getting my cosplays done early and not con crunching -.-)
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first exam is tomorrow and honestly i need some divine intervention
#the material is fine to memorise and stuff but its an 3ssay 3xam and honestly its really fucking hard to come up with anything decent#that doesnt make me sound like a 5 year old whos just vomitting out what they heard in class#i only need a 62 to pass so as long as i dont fumble it i should be fine but i have been known to surprise myself with my incredible luck#at least theres a week until the next one so i will probably be more ready for that one#personal#delete later#also brainrot is going crazy rn just like everytime i have exams
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Liro returns next week! :D
#she's on her way to the gym#pokemon#XYLiro#pokemon xy#art#allartstuff#ownstuff#oh yeah I'm also setting up my patreon finally#it's up I just don't want to share it until I've posted enough stuff on it to feel ok with doing that sdkfhs#but by next week it should be ready I think :D#patreon won but not by much so I have some ideas for what I can do with kofi later!
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Got my first meeting with a psychiatrist in over a year since the last one demanded details about trauma when I was visibly sweating and shaking! Let’s hope today goes much better and that I have the prefrontal cortex online enough to leave if necessary instead of tolerating that kind of thing again
#note to everyone: if you say ‘I experienced xyz’ to a medical professional#on your FIRST VISIT#they are NOT supposed to require further and further details before moving the conversation along#they should take you at your word and realize that’s not the important part#the important part is hearing what symptoms you have had for how long and how they impact your daily life#so they can help you#NO ONE needs the details unless you choose to share them on your own time#and if someone is pressing you for things you’re not ready to talk about#LEAVE!!!! get up and LEAVE#i know that now#personal#this isn’t about sleep I’ve been going downhill in certain areas for weeks and haven’t gotten the boat to turn around#so I’m asking to start back on meds BEFORE things get really bad#i was planning to wait for the fall#but I’m struggling so much and I shouldn’t have to be#so. SSRI and asking about nonstimulant ADHD meds it is#the good thing is that while my self worth and competency and anxiety are in the toilet again#Im at least not feeling depressed and I’m not having all the sleep trouble I used to or the void feeling#my PTSD symptom improvement is still there it’s just anxiety and ADHD kicking my ASS
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As the Church shrank, dirtied by the ash and smoke of a pope's carbonized corpse and the negligence of its God, the OCS gathered. Headless though the institution was, Mother Superion would have it wield a sword still.
Weapons. Drills. Strategy. Work was endless.
Some new recruits gawked at the ArqTech owner walking amongst them from time to time, hovering by Superion's side. Camila snapped them back into attention — posture! A jab, a hold, a kick were more becoming than gossip.
But there was hardly any of that. There was no time, they witnessed no touches; the two women supervised, commanded, left.
Only when the day was done, with limbs heavy and eyes closed, did work allow for play: timid and tender, when all others were too tired to notice.
A look, a smirk, a caress — exhaustion made them chaste. With holy war on the horizon, carnal thoughts translated into candid touches and luminous kisses against the weight of coming darkness. All else was serious enough, so Mother Superion and Jillian Salvius exchanged no vows and said naught of love.
Warmth sufficed, closeness — the demons would come and lives would fade, so they took humble rewards in those hopeful shadows.
#doctor superion#jillian salvius#mother superion#warrior nun#alright so i meshed two prompts into one. these are work and play.#it's clearly another double drabble but i tried to allocate about 100 words for each regardless#what i don't understand about seeing so few others write drabbles is that see they're like puzzles. they're fun#they're challenging even though they're so short#but they're also a fantastic way to write something complete that you can a) share and b) cut your teeth on when needed#of course i'm a bit crazy in that i'm trying to fill up a whole table of 100 prompts with just jillian/suzanne drabbles lol#but again it's the challenge. a game if you will.#sometimes i curse myself for it -- i've been stuck with the smut prompt for DAYS and it should be ready for the other week oops#but most of the time it's really really cool to have something like this to look forward to#anyway. i am a fierce advocate of drabbles always have been and always will be#warrior nun drabble#narratives and similar
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hoping everyone has a good week ahead! 💗✨
#im going to be working on the shouto fic to hopefully get it posted this week#praying hoping crossing my fingers gawddddd#i managed to bust out 2k yesterday so if i go at this pace i think i should have the fic ready by the end of the week!#i talked so much again
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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Feel so foolish that I haven’t been training a battle pet this whole time. I’m so behind on points for this event. SIGHS. I’ll keep going and just remind myself that I’ll be better prepared the next event.
#prince text#prince plays neopets#I’ve been prepping for the next fairy quest event too#I had so much fun with that last year#I have so much food saved for it already#but yeah my battle pet keeps dying sbdkskkdbf lmao#I know the stats I need to get up to so I can get plot points#so I have been codestoning the hell out of him#he should be ready in a week at least
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